Love marriage

Love marriage is a term used in commonwealth countries; primarily India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, Sri
Lanka and Egypt. It is generally used to describe a marriage which was driven solely by the couple, as
opposed to arranged marriage.[1] While there is no clear definition of love marriage; the term was in common
use globally during the Victorian era.[1] It is used to describe a marriage where the individuals love or court
each other and get married with or without consent of their parents.[2][3]

Contents
In Europe
In India
In Pakistan
In Bangladesh
In Egypt
See also
References
Bibliography

In Europe
According to Coontz, the marriages between Anglo-Saxons were
organised to establish peace and trading relationships. In the 11th century,
marriages were organised on the basis of securing economics advantages
or political ties. The wishes of the couples were not considered
important. The bride was especially expected to defer to her father's
wishes. In 1140, Decretum Gratiani was written by Gratian. It made
consent of the couple a requirement for marriage. This book became the
foundation of the policy of the Christian Church on marriage.[4]

In 1761, Jean-Jacques Rousseau wrote Julie, or the New Heloise. The

title is a reference to Peter Abelard, a 12th-century philosopher, who fell
in love with his pupil, Héloïse d'Argenteuil. They had a child and
secretly married. When Heloise's guardian found this, he had Abelard
castrated. The story was well-known at Rousseau's time, after their letter "Abaelardus and Heloïse
had been published. Rousseau's book, Julie, is about the titular character surprised by Master Fulbert", by
and her tutor St. Preux. The book is written in the form of letters. Julie's Romanticist painter Jean Vignaud
father opposes the relation and marries her to another man, whom he (1819)
considers more suitable.[5]

The 1840 marriage of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert made love marriage more acceptable in the minds of
the British public in the Victoria era where love marriages were on the rise.[4]
American historian Stephanie Coontz has tried to record the history of love marriages in her 2005 book
Marriage, A History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage. Her book argues that,
while not universal, marriages based on love and personal commitments started to emerge as early as the 14th
century and really began to flower in the 1700s.[6]

In India
In India, love marriages started becoming popular in urban areas in 1970s. Initially, love marriages occurred
between acceptable communities. Love marriage now commonly transcend ethnic, community and religion
barriers.

In a 2012 survey conducted by Ipsos for the TV channel NDTV, 74% of the respondents said that they
preferred an arranged marriage.[7] In 2010, the National Commission for Women (NCW) released a report
stating that it had documented 326 cases of honour killing in the past year, majority of which were due to Inter-
caste marriages.[8]

In a 2014 survey conducted by the United Nations Population Fund and International Center for Research on
Women, 11.7% of men and 8.5% of women surveyed claimed that they chose their partners and married with
or without the consent of their families.[9] The boundaries between the two types have started to blur.[1] The
term love-arranged marriage is used to describe a new emerging form of marriage which contains elements of
both arranged marriage and love marriage.[10] Love marriages are seen as imposition of the younger
generation's will over the older generation's wishes.[1][11]

In Pakistan
In Pakistan, arranged marriages are the norm and love marriage is rare in the society. Several cases of honour
killing are recorded every year.[12] In most cases, the woman is killed, however in some cases couples are
killed.[13] The Human Rights Commission of Pakistan counted about 869 such cases reported in the media,
but noted that many such cases may also be unreported.[14]

In Bangladesh
In Bangladesh there is a strong code of social and cultural prohibition on inter-gender friendship and/or
romantic relationship; there have been so many incidents of unrequited love of boys (unrequited love can lead
to mob justice to boys by local miscreants[15]) and in the case of romantic relationship of two individuals, they
secretly meet and talk, they may do elopement if their respective guardians are not willing to get them
married.[16][17][18][19] Due to society's large portion's Islamic adherence and conservative mentality, inter-
gender friendship and romance is heavily suppressed. It is also very difficult to involve in romantic relationship
and/or to find a life partner by one's own will and it's generally hard for boys to find life-partners, they need to
become earners as Bangladeshi society is very conservative and patriarchal.[20] The society largely relies on
the arranged marriage system.[21][22]

There has been no honour killing in the history of Bangladesh but there are strong records of guardian
objections for various reasons whether the boy is not liked by the girl's parents or the boy is unemployed or of
lower-social status etc, in this case the girl is forcibly married to a boy by her parents choice, and if the girl do
elopement with the boy, her parents may file a police case against the boy; this social and cultural trend is still
too much prevalent in Bangladeshi society.[20][23] Some couples may commit suicide for not being supported
by their families and society.[19]
In Egypt
In Egypt, love marriages, especially interfaith marriages, are generally considered socially unacceptable.
Interfaith marriages are often seen as a tactic to recruit members from other religions. Such marriages
sometimes result in sectarian violence. According to Egyptian law, a man from another religion must convert
to Islam to marry a Muslim woman. However, a Christian woman may marry a Muslim man without
converting, but officials require the woman to produce a letter of approval from her church, which is rarely
granted.[24]

See also
Forced marriage
Interfaith marriage
Inter-caste marriage
Honour killing
Love Commandos, a group of activists in India, that protects couples who have entered a love
marriage from violence.

References
1. Mr Henrike Donner (28 December 2012). Domestic Goddesses: Maternity, Globalization and
Middle-class Identity in Contemporary India (https://books.google.com/books?id=ysehAgAAQB
AJ&pg=PA80). Ashgate Publishing, Ltd. pp. 80, 86. ISBN 978-1-4094-9145-3. Retrieved
31 January 2015.
2. "Glitz and tradition at Sri Lanka society wedding" (https://www.bbc.com/news/world-south-asia-
13060799). BBC News. 13 April 2011. Retrieved 31 January 2015. "Society is becoming more
Westernised, too: this is a love marriage, not one arranged by the family."
3. "Pakistan police to protect Afghan runaway couple" (https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-189
52987). BBC News. 23 July 2012. Retrieved 31 January 2015. "The couple say that they
entered Pakistan illegally about three weeks ago and had a secret love marriage."
4. "Ten key moments in the history of marriage" (https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-17351133).
BBC News. 14 March 2012. Retrieved 31 January 2015.
5. James Delaney (15 August 2009). Starting with Rousseau (https://books.google.com/books?id
=TNF3y0CHyywC&pg=PA27). A&C Black. p. 27. ISBN 978-1-84706-278-9. Retrieved
31 January 2015.
6. "The Malleable Estate: Is marriage more joyful than ever?" (http://www.slate.com/articles/news_
and_politics/history_book_blitz/2005/05/the_malleable_estate.single.html). Slate. 17 May
2005. Retrieved 31 January 2015.
7. "NDTV mid-term poll: Does India still want arranged marriages?" (http://www.ndtv.com/india-ne
ws/ndtv-mid-term-poll-does-india-still-want-arranged-marriages-498043). NDTV. 5 September
2015. Retrieved 14 February 2015.
8. "Inter-caste ties behind most honour crimes. Just 3% cases due to same gotra marriages, says
new survey" (http://www.tribuneindia.com/2010/20100706/main1.htm). The Tribune (India). 5
July 2010. Retrieved 14 February 2015.
9. "Masculinity, Intimate Partner Violence and Son Preference in India" (http://www.icrw.org/public
ations/masculinity-intimate-partner-violence-and-son-preference-india). International Center for
Research on Women.
10. Katherine Twamley (12 February 2014). Love, Marriage and Intimacy Among Gujarati Indians:
A Suitable Match (https://books.google.com/books?id=haUAAwAAQBAJ&pg=PA68). Palgrave
Macmillan. p. 68. ISBN 978-1-137-29430-2. Retrieved 31 January 2015.
11. "Arranged marriages losing respect" (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/
man-woman/Arranged-marriages-losing-respect-in-India/articleshow/49058130.cms). Times of
India.
12. "Pakistan stoning victim's husband condemns police" (https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-2
7614359). BBC News. 29 May 2011. Retrieved 31 January 2015.
13. "Pakistan 'love marriage' couple murdered by girl's family" (http://www.thenational.ae/world/sou
th-asia/pakistan-x2018love-marriagex2019-couple-murdered-by-girlx2019s-family). The
National (Abu Dhabi). 29 June 2014. Retrieved 31 January 2015.
14. "Dark tale of love and murder in Pakistan's rural heartland" (https://www.reuters.com/article/201
4/05/30/us-pakistan-woman-murder-idUSKBN0EA1IG20140530). Reuters. 30 May 2014.
Retrieved 31 January 2015.
15. Syed Samiul Bashar Anik (22 July 2019). "Alarming spike in mob justice" (https://www.dhakatri
bune.com/bangladesh/2019/07/22/alarming-spike-in-mob-justice). Dhaka Tribune.
16. Towheed Feroze (30 March 2014). "Love, elopement, and an unopened prophylactic" (https://w
ww.dhakatribune.com/uncategorized/2014/03/30/love-elopement-and-an-unopened-prophylact
ic). Dhaka Tribune. Retrieved 12 September 2019.
17. Nasrin Siraj (28 March 2017). "The Freedom of (not) being married in Bangladesh" (http://www.
newagebd.net/article/12109/the-freedom-of-not-being-married-in-bangladesh). newagebd.net.
Retrieved 12 September 2019.
18. "Love, elopement, and all that" (https://www.dhakatribune.com/opinion/2018/02/11/love-elopem
ent-and-all-that). dhakatribune.com. Dhaka Tribune. February 12, 2018. Retrieved July 29,
2018.
19. "Couple, student commit 'suicide' in Dhaka" (https://bdnews24.com/bangladesh/2015/07/19/co
uple-student-commit-suicide-in-dhaka). bdnews24.com. Bdnews24.com. July 19, 2015.
Retrieved July 5, 2018.
20. David Lewis 2011.
21. "To Love In Bangladesh" (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/19/bangladesh-love-and-ma
rriage_n_5348246.html). HuffPost.
22. "6 Places In The World Where Arranged Marriages Is Traditional & Historically Practiced" (http
s://www.elitedaily.com/p/6-places-in-the-world-where-arranged-marriages-is-traditional-historic
ally-practiced-15922788). Elite Daily.
23. "Jailed for love" (https://www.thedailystar.net/city/news/jailed-love-1781023). The Daily Star. 3
August 2019.
24. "Egypt: The forbidden love of interfaith romances" (https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-ea
st-29932094). BBC News. 24 November 2014. Retrieved 31 January 2015.

Bibliography
Lewis, David (2011). Bangladesh: Politics, Economy and Civil Society. Cambridge University
Press.

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