WHEN Fatema Sohail published a disturbing account of

physical, mental and verbal abuse that she suffered allegedly at

the hands of her husband, actor Mohsin Abbas Haider, it came as
a shock to many. Yet her words were simply an echo of what
millions of women suffer silently within their homes all over the
world. Unlike in other countries, however, police cases are
rarely registered against the abusers in Pakistan, due to the
perpetuation of a culture of shame and silence. On her Facebook
account, and then later at a press conference, Ms Sohail
recounted several instances of cruelty and battery by her
husband, where she was “dragged”, “kicked” and “punched”
violently, including, shockingly, when she was three months’
pregnant with their child. Given that women here are often not
believed when they speak up about injustice and abuse, she
displayed photographs of her bruises for the world to see as hard
‘evidence’ of the crime. Some within the show business industry
also corroborated her account, while many vocalised their
support for her as well as for other victims of domestic violence.
It takes a great deal of courage and strength to come forth with
such stories in our society, where matters like these are quickly
hushed up and brushed under the carpet. Regrettably, suffering
is normalised as part of the experience of being a ‘good woman’.
Indeed, violence against women is also normalised in film and
television. So amongst all the outpouring of support, there were
the expected comments from the self-appointed upholders of
‘tradition’ telling her to not discuss ‘matters of the home’ in
public — ill-begotten ‘advice’ that most Pakistani women have
had to endure after suffering unforgiveable violence against
their body and spirit — while others questioned her truthfulness
and her account of events.

The fact is that those who abuse once will do it again — over and over again
— and women from all social strata are vulnerable to it. Fatema Sohail is
extremely brave to leave a situation that was dangerous for her and her
child, and for taking a stand against the worst of patriarchy. Hopefully, her
actions will encourage other women in a similar situation to do the same, to
not blame themselves nor accept blame by others for the behaviour of men
who should do better. It is time to speak up, and this is the right time to
begin the conversation against domestic abuse.

Published in Dawn, July 24th, 2019