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Exercise 23: Some people believe that the government has the duty to ensure its citizens have a

healthy diet, while others believe it is individual responsibility to care for their diet. Discuss

both sides and give your own opinion.

Answer:

People have different views about heathy diet.While it is said that the authority has to bear

responsibility for their citizens’ healthy diet, I would argue that this is personal

issue.=>Personally, I believe that healthy lifestyle is a choice that should be made by each

individual while the government of a country should guarantee proper treatment and healthy

lifestyle facilities.

On the one hand, I can understand why some people think the government has to use various

ways to help its residents to control the diet effectively. Firstly, they suppose that the

government with its power would introduce a few rules to reduce risks in producing a series of

obesity products that have adverse affect on citizens’ health. In many developing countries, for

example, the authority forces food firms to manage ingredients in their products in order to

improve the public health. Secondly, many argue that a stable and permanent country depends

on the health of its citizens. In effect, having a good health in diet is very vital in our life due to

the that it helps our bodies to be more energetic to distribute to the development of our

country. => Em có thể tham khảo thêm luận điểm sau em nhé:Secondly, if government guides

about healthy lifestyles, then more and more people would be healthy and this would indirectly

make the economy flourish. With healthy

body conditions, labors work more efficiently, elderly suffer lesser diseases and
 children have better development. As a result, manufactures can produce more, the

budget of social insurance can be cut down and healthy young generations will

provide stability to the growth of economy.

On the other hand, I would side with those who support the idea that everyone take care of

their personal diet. The first reason is that the government have many other important issues

that have to solve. For instance, in the third-world countries, the top priority is that how to

enhance their economy and improve the quality of education. In addition, depending on the

heath conditions, residents have differences in healthy diet. Therefore, to ensure their

physical and mental health, they would follow strict rules regarding diet mode. For these

reasons, I think that protecting good health conditions is private issue without interfering by

the government.=> Em có thể tham khảo thêm luận điểm sau em nhé:Government can make

sure better healthcare, exercise and entertainment facilities throughout the country but if

someone does not have the habit to lead a healthy life, government has nothing to do about

it.Thus, healthy lifestyle is a choice that should be decided by individuals rather than the

government of a country. It is evident that family can contribute a lot to teach a child to choose

a good and healthy lifestyle.

To sum up, although there are some reasons that the authority has responsibility for remaining

a heathy diet for its citizen, I believe that ensuring a healthy diet entirely depends on individual

adjustment in utilizing food in other to maintain the good health.

(312 words)

Grade
Task 7.0 - Introduction:
Achievement
 + Câu 1 đã paraphrase, viết lại được câu hỏi của đề bài sử dụng từ vựng của mình
chính xác

+ Câu 2 đã trả lời được câu hỏi của đề bài rõ ràng, chính xác .

- Body:

+ Câu topic sentence bám được vào ý của câu 2 phần mở bài và nêu được ý bao quát
của đoạn văn

+ 2 câu idea hỗ trợ được cho ý của topic sentence, các ý được giải thích đầy đủ

- Conclusion:

Câu kết luận đã paraphrase được câu thứ 2 phần mở bài và không nêu ý nào mới

Cohesion and 7.0

Coherence
- Coherence:

Nhìn chung, bài viết được bố cục như sau là ăn điểm Coherence

I) Introduction (2 sentences): 30~40 words

+Introduce the topic

+Answer the question

II) Paragraph 2 : 90~100 words

+ Topic sentence

+ Main idea 1

+ Explain more 1

+ Main idea 2

+ Explain more 2

III) Paragraph 3: 90~100 words

+ Topic sentence

+ Main idea 1

+ Explain more 1

+ Main idea 2

+ Explain more 2

IV) Conclusion: 20~30 words

 Repeat your answer

Bài của em đủ ba phần, có đủ các topic sentence và main idea.

- Cohesion:

+ Ý các câu đã liên quan đến nhau. Bài có sử dụng từ đồng nghĩa, linking words để
kết nối các câu với nhau khá tốt

Vocabulary 7.5 + Có sử dụng được “topic-vocabulary" từ vựng theo chủ đề, dùng từ khá chính xác,
đa dạng. Ở phần này, các em nên dùng thật nhiều các cụm từ trong sách Topic
Vocabulary by NgocBach. Tốt nhất mỗi khổ thân bài nên sử dụng tầm 3~4
collocations

Grammar 7.0 + sử dụng được câu điều kiện, mệnh đề quan hệ

Lưu ý: câu điều kiện, mệnh đề quan hệ là các câu trúc dễ dùng nhưng ăn điểm rất
tốt khi viết bài IELTS Task 2. Các em có thể sử dụng ở câu Explain more khi giải thích
các main idea ở 2 khổ thân bài.

Overall 7.0 BÀI VIẾT CỦA EM CÓ Ý TƯỞNG, TỪ VỰNG VÀ CÁCH DIỄN ĐẠT TỐT, TIẾP
TỤC PHÁT HUY EM NHÉ.