Migrant Puerto Rican Lesbians Negotiating Gender, Sexuality, and Ethnonationality

Author(s): Marysol Asencio

Source: NWSA Journal , Fall, 2009, Vol. 21, No. 3, Latina Sexualities (Fall, 2009), pp. 1-23
Published by: The Johns Hopkins University Press

Stable URL: https://www.jstor.org/stable/20628192

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Migrant Puerto Rican Lesbians Negotiating Gender,
Sexuality, and Ethnonationality
MARYSOL ASENCIO

This article is based on a study with thirty-two Puerto Rican lesbians who
migrated from Puerto Rico to either New York City (NYC) or Hartford,
CT. It addresses these women's experiences in dealing with their gender,
sexuality, ethnonationality, race/color, socioeconomic status, and migra
tion. Social science research on Latina lesbians, in particular migrant
Puerto Rican lesbians, has been scant to nonexistent. Their experiences,
however, help us to understand the complex relationship between mul
tiple minority statuses, points of oppressions, and lived experiences. The
data were collected and analyzed using a feminist standpoint perspective
as well as an intersectionality framework. The findings show how these
women's negotiation of their multiple identities and sexuality is influ
enced by socioeconomic status, gender performance, race/color, and geo
graphical locations. While these women exhibited varying levels of resil
ience, almost all of the women found it difficult to obtain acceptance or
a place for their multiple identities to be equally addressed or respected.

Keywords: Latina / oppression / identities / geographical / socioeconomic

status / homosexuality

The lives of Puerto Rican lesbians (or women who have sex with women?
WSW) have not been readily addressed in the social science literature. In
fact, within the social science literature, research on Latina lesbians (and
WSW) in general has been scant. Only a handful of empirical studies over
the last thirty years have focused on the experiences of Latina WSW (for
example, Acosta 2008; Arg?elles and Rivero 1993; Espin 1999; Hidalgo
and Hidalgo-Christensen 1976-1977; Whitam et al. 1998). Due to this
overall lack of research on Latina lesbians, we have ignored many of the
contributions to social science inquiry that their lives and experiences
could bring to our understanding of gender, race, culture, sexuality, and
issues of multiple identities and oppressions. Their relative invisibility
from the social and behavioral science literature is not only a disservice
to their lives but to the larger knowledge to be garnered in understanding
their experiences. Much of what we have come to understand about Latina
lesbians has been provided by autobiographical work, literary analysis, and
cultural studies (for example, Esquibel 2006; Moraga and Anzald?a 2002;
Ramos 1987; Torres 2007; Torres and Pertusa 2003). While these works
are rich and have presented intellectually intriguing accounts that have

?2009 NWSA Journal, Vol. 21 No. 3 (Fall)

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2 Marysol Asencio

contributed to theoretical frameworks, they have not led to a significant

increase in social or behavioral science scholarship.
While a large amount of research is needed across Latina lesbian groups
on various topics, in this article I focus on the experiences of migrant
Puerto Rican lesbians regarding their multiple identities as women, lesbi
ans, Puerto Ricans, and migrants. While these are not the only identities
they are negotiating or their only points of oppression, these identities
provide a basis for understanding the complexities of the issues and the
strategies employed to survive, and possibly thrive, under the conditions
in which these women operate.
In this article, I explore the relationships among gender, sexuality, eth
nonationality, migration, and geographical location. More specifically, I
attempt to answer two main research questions: (a) How do these migrant
Puerto Rican lesbians integrate and negotiate their differing identities in
their lives? and (b) What role do socioeconomic status, gender confor
mity, migration, and geographical location play in the negotiation of their
identities and their lives?
A Puerto Rican lesbian moving and residing Stateside1 may face great
difficulty in gaining acceptance due to multiple statuses such as being a
woman, a lesbian, Puerto Rican, a person of color, poor, and a colonial
migrant2 (Bowleg et al. 2003; Diaz 1998; Espin 1997; Hidalgo and Hidalgo
Christensen 1976-1977; Stevens 1998). Any one of these statuses can
create challenges and Stressors, but the combination of all these statuses
as well as multiple sources of oppression further complicates their expe
riences. In order to understand some of the challenges faced by migrant
Puerto Rican lesbians as well as some of their strategies to negotiate
their multiple identities and sources of oppression, I would like to briefly
discuss some of the broader contexts that situate their experiences.
I begin with Puerto Rican ethnonational identity because of the com
plexities involved in this identity and its relationship to the United
States. Puerto Rico's history as a colonized state has helped construct
its national identity. Puerto Rico, as most already know, became a U.S.
colony in 1898 after the Spanish-American war. During its next fifty years
it had U.S.-appointed, non-Latino governors until 1946 with the appoint
ment of the first Puerto Rican governor. In 1948, the Puerto Rican people
elected Luis Munoz Marin as their governor (Acosta-Belen and Santiago
2006). Puerto Rico's current status as a commonwealth has been heatedly
contested among those who would like to stay a commonwealth, those
who would like statehood, and those who want complete independence
from the United States. Most members of these factions share, however,
a strong pride in their Puerto Rican identity. Since national identity is not
constructed in terms of territorial ownership but in terms of the shared
values that unify individuals and transcend class, language, and geographic
barriers, it has been noted that ethnic identity may have even deeper

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Migrant Puerto Rican Lesbians 3

significance for Puerto Rican people than for other Latina/os (Duany
2003). Ramon Grosfoguel (1997) noted that ethnonationality may be a
better term or conceptualization of the Puerto Rican experience since it
"accommodates the Puerto Ricans' diverse and peculiar subject positions
better than that of nation" (74-75).
While Puerto Rico is not technically a nation, nationalistic discourses
abound including those related to the masculinity of the State and Puerto
Rican womanhood. Interwoven in these discourses are not only ideologi
cal convictions associated with national identity but the Island's political
relationship with the United States. In the case of the backlash against
feminism in the 1960s in Puerto Rico, feminism was conceptualized as
another form of cultural colonialism by the United States as well as a
threat to Puerto Rican men's masculinity and heteronormativity (Crespo
2001). Accordingly, Puerto Rico has been described as culturally intoler
ant of homosexuality (Cunningham 1989). Pico (1980) has described the
maintenance of a male-dominated nationalistic ideology as a defense
mechanism forged against the cultural and economic colonialism during
the first decades of U.S. domination in Puerto Rico. Thus, Puerto Rican
lesbians simply by their identities as lesbians challenge a nationalistic
discourse embedded in the conceptualization surrounding Puerto Rican
(heterosexual) "womanhood" and notions of family.
At the level of the family, general research on Latina/o families has
shown a greater importance placed on family and family interdependence
among Latina/os as compared with Anglos (Garcia-Preto 2005; Zambrana
1995). Within the family, heteronormative gender and sexuality-related
messages and behaviors are supported either by being voiced directly or
through the silences in gender and sexual discourses (Acosta 2008; Car
rillo 2002; Hurtado 2003; Zavella 2003). Within these verbal and nonver
bal communications, the importance of virginity, marriage, motherhood,
and domesticity is highlighted for young girls and women. In addition
to the elevation of these states for women, there are also cautionary
verbal and nonverbal messages about the dangers of transgressing the
boundaries of heteronormativity for women (Zavella 2003). There is
evidence, however, that women subvert cultural and social conventions
by behaving in a manner that contradicts cultural expectations, in par
ticular the popular imagined notion of Latinas as passive and showing
little agency in their familial and romantic relationships (Gonzalez-Lopez
2005). Latina lesbians can also subvert cultural and social conventions
by manipulating these expectations to create spaces to hide their desires
and activities. For example, Elizabeth Crespo-Kebler (2003) in interviews
with Puerto Rican lesbians raised in the 1920s-1940s found that some
of the women used the expectation of female disinterest in sex to limit
or end sexual contacts with their husbands while engaging in sexual
relationships with women.

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4 Marysol Asencio

Since Puerto Rico is a territory of the United States, Puerto Ricans

can migrate Stateside with fewer barriers than Latina/o immigrants. The
lack of immigration hurdles has contributed to a large external migra
tion of Puerto Ricans to the States as well as a circular migration pattern
between the Island and the States. Puerto Ricans have one of the highest
rates of emigration in the world with 49.4 percent of Puerto Ricans living
Stateside as of 2005 (Duany 2007, 9). The ease of external migration offers
Puerto Rican women an opportunity to use migration as way to manage
issues of identity, gender and sexual expectations, and economic neces
sities (LaFountain-Stokes 2005; Ortiz 1996). They also move to and from
different political realities as well as family and social structures that
may give different meanings to their identities and different experiences
of oppressions.
Stateside, Puerto Ricans tend to be portrayed as part of an underclass.
Not only are they relegated to a marginal status, they are racialized
regardless of their physical phenotypes. They are bestowed the status of
non-white. As Salvador Vidal-Ortiz (2004) explains, "Racialization has
at its core the process of race-making?and, henceforth, 'race7?but it
departs from the phenotypical or somatic explanations by focusing on
other 'racial7 markers (markers that might be socioeconomic or class
based)77(187). Therefore, as Puerto Ricans migrate Stateside they must
contend with a differing categorization of themselves and what that means
in a society that privileges white status.
Most migration studies have focused on the experiences of male ("het
erosexual77) migrants. We know less about female migrants than we do
male migrants although "legal immigration to the United States has been
dominated by females for the last half-century" (Pedraza 1991, 304). Since
1993, women varied from 53 percent to 55 percent of all immigrants to the
United States. "By 2000, close to 60 percent of immigrants from Mexico,
China, the Philippines and Vietnam were female77 (Strum and Tarantolo
2003, 26). Not only has there been less research on women migrants, but
also that is particularly true for those who enter the United States with
out husbands or families (Matthei 1996). In addition, research shows that
male and female immigrants use ethnic enclaves and gendered networks
for getting jobs. We know little of immigrant lesbians and their abilities
to be part of or gain access to these networks. Therefore, more research is
needed on not only female migrants (Hondagneu-Sotelo 1999, 2000; Kana
iaupuni 2000; Mahler and Pessar 2006; Pessar 1999; Segura and Zavella
2007; Strum and Tarantolo 2003) but female migrants who are also sexual
minorities (Espm 1999; LaFountain-Stokes 2005, 2009).
In migration, sexuality is negotiated in a new environment. Identities,
as well as family and community links, may need to be reconfigured or
reconceptualized. It is important to understand the social and physical
geography of the migrants environment. The space that migrants occupy

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Migrant Puerto Rican Lesbians 5

shapes their social lives, and their social lives structure their environments
(Aldrich 2004; Hayden 1995; Mitchell 2000). Although some research has
been conducted focusing on urban gay and lesbian identities and commu
nities, many neglected areas remain, such as sexualities in small towns
and rural environments as well as the connections between sexuality,
space, and other social markers (for example, race/ethnicity) (Knopp 1995).
Sexual identities are constructed and flexible; they create opportunities for
self-definition as well as constraints (Carrillo 2002). Their shape remains
to be investigated in local and varied contexts.
The perspective utilized in this paper is one of applying a contempo
rary understanding of feminist standpoint theory, acknowledging all the
problems and trappings of seeking to explore any possible commonalities
around women's experiences given their varying positions in society and
issues of power. J. T. Wood (qtd. in O'Brien Hallstein 2000) argues that
"moving away from the distorting practice of simply including neglected
groups in research, standpoint theory uses marginalized lives as the start
ing point from which to frame research questions, concepts, develop
designs, define what counts as data, and interpret findings" (8). Also, I
employ as an analytic tool intersectionality, which has been useful in fem
inist and anti-racist scholarship. Intersectionality, defined as "the notion
that subjectivity is constituted by mutually reinforcing vectors of race,
gender, class, and sexuality, has emerged as the primary theoretical tool
designed to combat feminist hierarchy, hegemony, and exclusivity" (Nash
2008, 2). As Patricia Hill Collins (2000) notes, "[Sjexualities constructed
in conjunction with an unquestioned heterosexism become manipulated
within class, race, gender, and nation as distinctive systems of oppression"
(132). There are critiques of both the "under theorizing" and marginal
ization of lesbians (Calhoun 1995) and women of color (Collins 2000) in
feminist discourses. Thus, there are concerns about the adequacy of any
contemporary feminist theory to fully capture the experiences of lesbians,
and, even more, lesbians of color.
In this paper, however, my focus is to explore the lived experiences of
migrant Puerto Rican lesbians as they deal with their identities as women,
lesbians, and Puerto Ricans, as well as others, and the negotiation of their
identities. To this end, the paper attempts to add to future debates about
lesbian experience and the intersection with gender, race, class, migration,
and geography. To quote Cindy Cruz (2001), "[Situating knowledge in
the brown body begins the validation of the narratives of survival, trans
formation, and emancipation of our respective communities, reclaiming
histories and identities. And in these ways, we embody our theory" (668).

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6 Marysol Asencio

Method and Sample

This paper is based on data collected from 2003 to 2006 in New York
City and in the Greater Hartford (Connecticut) area. While the larger
study included seventy-four lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Puerto
Rican migrants, this paper is based on the data collected on the thirty-two
migrant Puerto Rican lesbians or WSWs. The participants in this study
were required to: (a) Have migrated Stateside as adults; (b) be over the
age of eighteen,- (c) identify as lesbian, bisexual, or engaging in same-sex
sexuality; and (d) have migrated at least one year prior to the interview so
that they had some time to adjust to their new environment. The Puerto
Rican women's ages ranged from mid-twenties to mid-fifties at the time
of the interview.
Participant observation was conducted in the geographical areas,
venues, and institutions that were known to have a significant Latina les
bian population. Flyers, in English and Spanish, were placed at LGTB com
munity centers, service agencies, and clubs. Individuals were approached
who seemed to fit the criteria. Information was provided to them about
the study and inclusion criteria. It is important to note that it was dif
ficult to identify women who met the inclusion criteria for this study in
both NYC and Hartford, CT. It took more time than had been originally
anticipated due to LGTB venues being significantly more populated by gay
men than lesbians. Also, many lesbian venues did not have many Latinas,
and those that had Latinas, were not necessarily Puerto Rican, and those
that were Puerto Rican, had not moved from Puerto Rico as adults. Thus,
this particular population of Puerto Rican lesbians, adult migrants, proved
particularly challenging to identify and recruit. Moreover, once recruited,
few knew of others like themselves. Therefore, snowball sampling was
difficult with this population. I was constantly returning to the field to
develop new leads for locating women who fit the criteria, which in itself
was a rich source of data on their invisibility and the difficulty in reach
ing this population. It should be noted that this study is not intended to
be representative of all migrant Puerto Rican lesbians. The purpose of
this study is not to generalize but to understand the ways these women
perceive and negotiate their identities and identify factors that may frame
their experiences.
I conducted interviews as well as engaged in participant observation. An
interview guide was used to explore domains such as family, migration,
race/ethnicity, and sexual partnering. The guide contained open-ended
questions such as rationale for migration, migration patterns, coming
out, and experiences being lesbian in Puerto Rico and Stateside, as well
as closed-ended questions predominantly on sociodemographic variables,
such as age at migration, age at interview, sex at birth, and number of
male and female partners. Study participants were given ten dollars as

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Migrant Puerto Rican Lesbians 7

a small token of appreciation and to cover any traveling costs incurred.

The amount of compensation, by itself, provided little incentive for par
ticipation. All interviews were audiotaped and transcribed, except for one
interview in which the woman did not grant permission and therefore only
notes were taken during the interview.3
The interviews were conducted in the preferred language of the partici
pant, and were primarily in Spanish, due to the fact that these women were
raised in Puerto Rico and their first language was Spanish. Participants
ranged in English fluency from perfectly bilingual to Spanish dominant. A
significant amount of their interviews, however, went back and forth from
Spanish to English and even the occasional Spanglish. For the purpose of
this article, all quotations from participants are presented in English. On
occasion, a Spanish phrase or comment is maintained. All names used are
pseudonyms.
For this paper, the narrative texts from in-depth interviews were coded
in terms of key thematic areas within the study: Sexual, gender, racial and
ethnic identities, and negotiation of identities. Data from the study were
analyzed focusing on particular issues such as migration, gender perfor
mance, socioeconomic status, and geographical location. NVivo 7.0 was
used to code and manage both interview and field notes data.

Gender, Ethnic, Sexual, and Racial Identification

Most of the migrant Puerto Rican lesbians in this study described a

sequential layering of acknowledging or embracing identities until the
point they felt that all these identities were central to them or, at mini
mum, an aspect of them. The majority of these women had to negotiate
identities in such a way that only one identity could exist or flourish in
a given situation. They were not accustomed to having a place where all
their identities could easily be supported at one time, and so they spoke of
their identities as fragmented components. The one exception was that of
being both female and Puerto Rican, which somehow had become master
statuses for almost all of them.
The majority of these women reported that their first understanding
of themselves derived from their identity and status as females growing
up in Puerto Rico. Most of the women spoke of having been aware that
they were socialized differently than males in particular within their roles
within the household, their roles within the family, and in the community
and society.
Anita:
I don't know how I came to be what I am. I know that when I was a little girl
I was told that I had to be a certain way. I knew that I had to help my mother.

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8 Marysol Asencio

That I had to help out with the cooking while my brother played outside. I knew
that I could not go to some of the places my brothers went. My mother was
always more concerned about where I had been and what I had been doing. I
needed to come straight home from school. My parents didn't want the neighbor
to think I was a callejera [a girl of the streets/'^oose"]. They wanted me to be
seen as a good girl that should be respected.

Many of the women reported that the important messages from their
upbringing included that they behave gender appropriately, stay close to
home, and maintain a reputation as a good girl. Most of them also acknowl
edged that these expectations were different than those for their male
counterparts. While a few enjoyed those roles and did not question the
differences in treatment based on gender, many of the women expressed
feeling constrained by those roles. That is to say, these women were not
uniform in the way that they perceived those roles, felt constrained by the
roles, or even challenged the appropriateness of being treated differently.
The majority, however, spoke of wanting more freedoms to be outside,
to be independent, and as they grew older, to be given more freedom to
express their sexuality. Many of them challenged these perceived limita
tions by staying out late or by verbal confrontations with family about
the fairness of those expectations, and/or by silently strategizing a way to
move away from the "control" of family and neighbors.
Veronica:
I knew that as long as I stayed close to my family and in my town I would never
have any freedom. I knew since I was a little girl that I was going to move to
San Juan and attend the university so I [could] create a life for myself.

The next significant realization of their emerging identities was their

growing sense and understanding of their ethnonationality. As they
became more conscious of the world outside their homes, they began
to also acknowledge their status as Puerto Ricans. While for some this
identity was intertwined with their growing political consciousness and
political involvement, for the majority it was more of an ethnonationalis
tic pride of being Puerto Rican. As I will detail later, this identity became
more pronounced after these women migrated Stateside.
Elena:
I have always felt pride in being Puerto Rican. I love my culture and my people.
[On] the Island, in particular, there is a sense of pride. As I went to school [I]
had more of a sense of what it meant to be Puerto Rican and later got involved
with politics as a student [at the university]. I saw myself as a strong Puerto
Rican woman.

Only a few of the women identified in terms of race. In fact, the vast
majority of women had trouble in understanding themselves in terms of

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Migrant Puerto Rican Lesbians 9

racial categories but rather understood that being Puerto Rican was,
many ways, a racialized category. That is to say, they became more aw
once they migrated to the States that regardless of skin color, they w
not perceived as white. For some this created conflicts in the way th
thought of themselves and their identity.

Janet:
They don't treat me like I am white. I don't see myself in terms of a race. I am
a Puerto Rican woman. ... In Puerto Rico, we don't think like that.

It is important to point out that the few women who identified them
selves clearly as ethnically Puerto Rican as well as identifying separately
in terms of race, also identified as black.
Eliana:
Soy puertorriquena y negra. People here always think I am from Jamaica or
Trinidad. When I go to bodegas in the neighborhood, I get strange looks from
the store people. They sometimes speak Spanish like I don't understand. . . .
When I was in Puerto Rico, they knew I was Puerto Rican but I was too dark to
be seen as the same [as lighter-skinned Puerto Ricans]. For me, I am aware that
being dark makes me different no matter where I am.

The vast majority of these women, regardless of their phenotype, pre

ferred not to identify racially but rather as solely Puerto Rican. The excep
tions were the individuals whose physical appearance placed them outside
the range of "looks" commonly associated with being Puerto Rican, even
among other Puerto Ricans. The experience of a racial identity separate
from a racialized ethnic identity created tensions in terms of their Puerto
Rican identity.
There were twenty-two women who at the time of the interview identi
fied themselves as lesbians, two identified as bisexuals, and eight did not
like the use of "labels" or did not want to label themselves. They all had
been or currently were in sexual relationships with women. The majority
of Puerto Rican lesbians (twenty-four) in this study had experienced sexual
intercourse with a man and a significant number had been in a relationship
with a man during their lifetime. These women's understandings of their
sexuality and their self-identification as lesbians or ability to acknowledge
a sexual relationship with women came at different points in their lives.
While four of the women in this study reported experiencing same-sex
attractions from a very young age, six more reported becoming aware in
their early adolescence, another sixteen became aware in late adolescence
and/or in college, and another six reported realizing those feelings later in
their lives and most after having lived for several years married or cohabi
tating with a man and having children. The timing of this realization
affected their ability to deal with and negotiate their identities.

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 10 Marysol Asencio

Maria:
I always knew. From the time I was little, I always knew. I was always looking
at mis primas [my female cousins] and wanting to just look at them dressing
and undressing. I always wanted to be outside with the boys and my mother
was always running after me not understanding my need to be outside and be
free all the time.

Alejandra:
It wasn't anything I thought about, you know, I liked boys. I liked going out,
dressing up. I just got married young. Too young. I would not want my daugh
ters married as young as I was. I was unhappy but I never knew why. It was not
until I left my husband, we were already here [Stateside] that I realized I was
attracted to women. Well, not women, a woman. She was a lesbian, real butch,
very shy. We became friends and then at thirty-three with three small children
I got involved with her. It was terrible. I didn't know what to do. I did not want
anybody to know. I was worried about my children and my family in Puerto
Rico. I was sure they would blame my moving here and being away from them
as making me lose my morals.

In Alexandra's narrative, not only does she discuss her sexual involve
ment with a woman later in her life through her attraction to a lesbian,
but her concerns about her family knowing what was going on with
her life were connected to concerns with her having migrated. As Espin
(1997) notes, "[I]n many immigrant communities, being 'Americanized' is
derogatorily synonymous with being sexually promiscuous" (189). Thus,
in this case, her decision to move from Puerto Rico and the sexuality she
was now experiencing was somehow linked to either the "corrupting"
influence of living in the States or the problems associated with being
away from the family's watchful eyes.
The women in this study spoke of their growing-up experiences in
hindsight; therefore, the narratives of their identities are part of their
reflections and reconstructions of their experiences. As such, they are a
reflection of how they perceive their own development of their identities.
Their views of what identities came to the foreground of their conscious
ness and how they dealt with it also reflect their own particular struggles.
When asked how they saw their identities as Puerto Rican lesbians (or
women in a sexual relationship with other women), many of the women
described their emerging identities in a similar sequence as Olga whose
response was, "I was a woman first, then a Puerto Rican, and then a les
bian, and now I am all." That is to say, Olga felt that her earliest memories
involved being aware that as a female she was different than the males
around her. Later that identity felt merged with a sense of being a Puerto
Rican woman. For her as well as some others, Puerto Rican-ness had
something to do both with her gender and her humanity as well as politi
cal consciousness. After that, her sexuality was something that she either

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Migrant Puerto Rican Lesbians 11

slowly became aware of or slowly began to acknowledge. Yet, there were

periods of time when these identities seemed to conflict or strengthen
each other. Those conflicts or points of unity were being shaped by social
and economic conditions such as gender conformity and socioeconomic
status, as well as migration and geographical location.

Gender Conformity and Performance

Many of the women in this study reported being given more leeway in
terms of gender performance and lack of interest in having a boyfriend
or being married as children and adolescents while growing up in Puerto
Rico. They attributed this greater liberty to their parents7 or guardians7
concerns about female heterosexual sexuality and a relief that they were
not "boy crazy77 and would not get pregnant young. As they grew older,
when there was a greater expectation that they would marry and have
children, any gender nonconformity was seen as more of a problem. As
Lourdes Torres (2007) notes, "[I]n mainstream Puerto Rican culture, where
femininity is expected of women and strictly enforced beginning at an
early age, masculine clothing and behavior mark a woman as generally
other and specifically as lesbian" (241). By early adulthood, they began
receiving more negative responses and pressures to conform. Those who
refused to conform for one reason or another found increased levels of
harassment in the family and in the larger society. Elba, who identifies as
a butch lesbian, stated that she had to act and dress feminine in order to
be taken seriously and maintain her job in Puerto Rico:
I felt that I was in drag. I never wore those clothing except when I went outside
my home. ... I came home and quickly changed. I just wanted to rip that skirt
off and put [on] my pants so I [could] feel like myself. ... If people saw how I
wanted to dress, how I was inside, I would never be given a job, not in Puerto
Rico. A woman needs to look like a woman. I knew that I needed to leave.

In this study, it was mostly a small number of gender nonconformists

who acknowledged migrating Stateside to find a more accepting place
(Asencio and Acosta 2009). Interestingly, Elba reported that moving State
side allowed her more opportunities to " dress like herself" but she also
noted that she has not found complete acceptance, and finding a job as a
butch Puerto Rican lesbian has not been easy. She had worked in Puerto
Rico in an office as a receptionist and a secretary. She was seeking the
same type of employment Stateside. Instead, she explained, "Every time I
went for a job at an office, they would look me up and down and say the job
was no longer open. But they said they had jobs stacking boxes, or cleaning
at night or doing deliveries. ... I finally said yes to a box stacking job. I
am hoping that they see I am a good worker and I can work in the office.77

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 12 Marysol Asencio

Most of the women in this study described themselves in terms of

gender conformity as just "regular/7 "in the middle/7 and "not too obvi
ous," or "not obvious at all.77 By this they meant that their looks and
behaviors would not be perceived as signaling that they were lesbian.
Many felt that they could pass as heterosexual with their family or soci
ety as needed to protect their livelihood, as was the case with Elba. They
expressed feeling vulnerable to discrimination or rejection if discovered
to be lesbians. Yet, at some level in all the cases, someone was aware that
they were lesbians or involved with women. After all, they were partici
pating in this study.
Most participants kept information about their same-sex relationships
within a close group of trusted people. They constantly negotiated their
disclosure of identity every time they met a new person or were in a dif
ferent environment. This disclosure was balanced in terms of what they
could lose. One way they negotiated their comfort level and willingness
to be open was in the way they chose to dress or behave. The use of such
strategies is not unique among these women (Murray 1995). Clothing,
mannerisms, and symbols play an important role in the negotiation of
gender and sexual identities. Even among women who described them
selves as "not obvious,77 there was a self-consciousness about how they
looked as it related to their sexual identity. That is to say, they were aware
of their gender performances and altered them to be able to negotiate or
resist oppression.
Evelyn:
I wear nice clothing, make-up, heels. Tu vez, soy muy femenina [you see, I am
very feminine]. Nobody thinks I am gay. I like that. I have men asking me out.
I see that my sexuality does not make me less of a woman.

Josefa:
When I know I am going to be at a lesbian party I dress up for the lesbians. Pew
if I am going to a non-gay party, I will dress much more traditionally. I will try
to be more traditional so as not to draw attention.

In other words, the level in which a woman could play or was willing to
play with her looks and gender performance also triggered social "accep
tance77 and "rejection" as well as an ability to "fit77 or "not fit77 in the
society.

Socioeconomic Status

The socioeconomic statuses of migrant Puerto Rican lesbians framed their

opportunities, choices, negotiations, and life trajectories. Elizabeth Aranda
(2008) notes from her research with Puerto Rican migrants that "how lives

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Migrant Puerto Rican Lesbians 13

unfold across transnational social fields is very much rooted in the class
structures of both sending and receiving countries/places. . . ." (453). The
migrant Puerto Rican lesbians in this study were roughly equally divided
among three broad socioeconomic categories: 1) Middle-class profession
als,- 2) working-class workers, and marginal working-poor,- and 3) those
who were without jobs, reliable housing, and dependent on some form of
public assistance and social services. Among these three groups, there were
differences that seemed to be associated with their socioeconomic status.
This does not mean that all the women in the particular socioeconomic
class were identical but the majority seemed to share some commonalities.
Most of the middle-class, professional Puerto Rican lesbians were more
likely to identify and acknowledge their sexuality and same-sex attrac
tions from a younger age, have never married, had less sex with males,
had better family situations (including lack of violence and drug problems
in their lives as well as having been raised in a two-parent home), and
were less likely to have had children than the other two socioeconomic
categories. Their educations involved college and/or graduate and profes
sional school. Some completed their education in the States. Most were
middle-class in Puerto Rico and a few obtained a more middle-class status
Stateside after completing their degrees. For a few of these women, college
and being seen as "studious," "not boy crazy," and "a serious woman"
also allowed a "cover" for their sexuality and resistance to dating men or
getting married.

Jacqueline:
As long as I told my mother that I wanted to study and that I did not go out
because I have an exam or machos papeles [many papers] to do she was satisfied.
I was not looked [at] as strange but as serious. I was a serious woman. I think
that is why I got so far with my education. As long as I was in school, I did not
have to seriously date since I needed to finish my studies. I was hoping by the
time I finished school I would be too old for them to care anymore [laughing].
Unfortunately, that was not true.

Most of these women reported they were unable to oppose all the social
and family pressures to engage in heterosexual dating, and they needed to
seem as if they were at least trying to find a suitable man with whom to
settle down. Their years of education and professional accomplishments
allowed them to appear to be "choosy" about whom they dated since their
increasing educational status also meant that they had to find a man that
would be as prepared as they were, thus, reducing the frequency and length
of relationships with men. Also, many of these women through their
elevated educational attainment were able to gain financial independence
from their families and to obtain a positive professional identity to balance
against the more negative identities of not being married, and the greater
stigma of being a lesbian.

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 14 Marysol Asencio

As Milta noted, "I am respected because soy una mujer bien preparada
[I am a highly educated women]. If I was gay and lived in the streets, then
I would be seen como basura [like garbage]... It would be harder to show
that being gay was not a problem."
The working-class or working-poor lesbians had either some high
school or a high school diploma. They were less likely to deal with their
sexuality in terms of sexual identity,- some of them had had some early
same-sex experience. For these women in particular, it was more common
to have had long-term relationships with men as compared with the other
two categories. Several of these women had migrated Stateside while mar
ried or partnered with men but while in the States began to identify as
lesbian, bisexual, or having a same-sex relationship.
Alicia:
I never thought I would not marry. I got together with Juan and we had two
children. I was happy for awhile with him and the children. Then when we
came here [Stateside] he became different and I changed too. It wasn't until I
was thirty plus and on my own that I got to meet Julia. ... I still don't like to
think of myself as a lesbian. I have been with men. I like men. ... I just [also]
like women.

The last category of migrant Puerto Rican lesbian in this study were
those who were living in poverty (a couple were homeless) with low edu
cational attainment usually consisting of no more than eighth or ninth
grade. Many of these individuals had a history of abuse (both physical
and sexual), family dysfunction, mental health problems, and physical
health concerns at a level unlike the other two socioeconomic groups.
Their issues were greatly complicated because of this history and difficult
social circumstances, including the fact that there were rules in homeless
shelters and drag treatment programs that did not allow for women to be
together inside the program.
Teresa:
I am in a program right here in Hartford. I want to leave it but I am not allowed
because of the courts. I have a girlfriend there too but I can't be with her. It
is against the rules. I just wish we can leave and be together. ... I was living
on the streets after I left home, I sold drugs and I got lots of problems. I take
medication. I don't know how I am going to take care of my girlfriend.

Carmen:
My family is so fucked up they don't care who I am with. They have their prob
lems but they also throw things at my face when they want to annoy me. Like
they say you are such a bull dyke, that's why no man will have you.

While many of the women in these difficult economic and family situ
ations spoke of abuse, maltreatment, and limited job opportunities, a few

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Migrant Puerto Rican Lesbians 15

were trying very hard to get out of the situations in which they found
themselves, and attributed their relationships with women partners as
giving them support.
Luisa:
I was born very poor, but poor, poor, poor! We had nothing. My mother she was
great trying to keep us fed and together. She looks at my relationship with my
girlfriend and says to me all the time "Mi7ja [my daughter] you did good. You
are with a good woman." She sees that my woman works hard and is there [for
me] better than any man.

Loue and Mendez (2006) in their study of eight Puerto Rican lesbians
who were severely mentally ill noted that a couple of the women spoke
about their lesbianism as being caused by their sexual abuse. While
the researchers noted that there is no research supporting a causal link
between sexual abuse and lesbianism, it raises an important issue which
I also explored with the women who reported childhood sexual abuse.
None of the women who spoke about being abused as a child, includ
ing incest, pointed to their childhood abuse as leading to their sexual
relationships with women or lesbianism. Instead, they tended to report
that the romantic and sexual relationships they had with women as
empowering their lives in some way. Their relationships with women
were discussed independently from their relationships and negative
experiences with men.
In this study, the women at the two extreme sides of the social and
economic spectrum, the economically very well-off and independent of
family support, and the extremely economically deprived with little or
no familial support reported less conflicts around their sexual identities
and self-disclosures than the women situated in the middle where their
economic situation and family connections made them feel vulnerable
and in need of family or social support. This middle group felt they had
more to lose from possible full disclosures of their sexual identities to
their families and at work.

Migration and Geographical Locations

There are several issues already raised in this paper about the role migra
tion played in these women's lives: 1) As a way to move away from restric
tive family and social situations,- 2) to find more personal freedoms, in
particular by women in small towns who moved to urban centers (includ
ing to attend college); and 3) a concern by family that moving Stateside
was possibly corrupting the "traditional" values of the migrant. Migration
also created situations where identities had to be renegotiated from the
Island to the States.

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 16 Marysol Asencio

Most of the women moved to the States alone while some of them
moved with their significant others, predominantly male partners. They
arrived having few family members or friends living Stateside. Once State
side, almost all of the women who were lesbians on the Island reported a
shift in how they saw themselves in terms of their identities, as well as
changing sources of oppression and resistance. The most significant shift
was the relative importance or consciousness around their sexual identity
versus ethnic identity. Most women who were lesbian on the Island spoke
of the constraints on their sexuality, the limited venues to meet women,
the secrecy in which they lived their lives as lesbians, and the very small
circle of friends (ambiente) they could be open with about their sexual
identity. While they reported some improvements post-migration to be
more "themselves" and needing to "hide" their sexual identity less, they
also reported an increase in discomfort they encountered regarding gen
eral attitudes and treatment of Stateside Puerto Ricans. Thus, while they
struggled more with their sexual identity in Puerto Rico, they were now
struggling more with the identities as Stateside Puerto Ricans.
The women who were extremely well-educated and arrived to good
professional and semi-professional positions and salaries were particularly
disturbed by their encounters and what they saw as the negative attitudes
and beliefs about Puerto Ricans. Since none had been raised in the States,
they reported having to get used to thinking of themselves as "different"
Puerto Ricans.
Elisa:
As a Puerto Rican woman, I know who I am. I know the politics of Puerto Rico
and where I am in that politics. I did not realize that it would feel so different
to be a Puerto Rican here. People are always saying things to me that I think
shows the [sic] ignorance. I have a family that is highly respected and powerful.
Yet, here, people think I came from el barrio and I am poor.

These women acknowledged that being a Stateside Puerto Rican was also
an identity that the dominant society perceived as part of an underclass,
regardless of one's own particular social standing. Those women who were
of higher socioeconomic status reported more tension in terms of their
new classification as Stateside Puerto Rican. The confrontation of these
types of misconceptions about Puerto Ricans and the racism encountered
Stateside were also voiced by the middle-class Puerto Rican migrants in
Aranda's (2007) study.
Women who in Puerto Rico had not been wealthy or well educated
expressed less tension about the shift in their ethnic identity. Yet, these
women also reported feeling different than those Stateside-born Puerto
Ricans.

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Migrant Puerto Rican Lesbians 17

Angela:
I don't see myself like a Nuyorican. I see myself as a Puerto Rican. ... I have
friends and I even had a girlfriend who was Puerto Rican raised here. We got
along well but sometimes it was like we were two different cultures. My grow
ing up in Puerto Rico gives me a different experience from her. For example, I
like to speak Spanish but she didn't know how to speak Spanish. I am now with
a Dominicana and I like that I can speak Spanish with her.

Rosa:
I feel that it is really funny. When I was in Puerto Rico, I [was] made to feel
bad about being a pata [lesbian]; now I am here and I am made to feel bad I am
Puerto Rican. Why do I always have to feel bad about who I am? I just want to
be in a place where none of it matters.

The geographical location, whether in Puerto Rico, NYC, or Hartford,

CT, shaped the experiences of migrant Puerto Rican lesbians (Asencio and
Acosta 2009). In terms of the migration literature, migrants tend to move
to established ethnic enclaves in order to have support and resources to
transition to a new place (Portes and Rumbaut 1996). With migrant les
bians the question might be, would they seek an ethnic enclave in the
same way as described in the literature or would they seek a gay/lesbian
enclave? A similar question was posed in the work of LaFountain-Stokes
(2005). Most of the migrant Puerto Rican lesbians in this study could not
afford the neighborhoods known as large gay enclaves in either NYC or
greater Hartford. Locations like the Village and Chelsea in lower Manhat
tan and West Hartford in Connecticut were too expensive. The same was
said of Park Slope, which is located in Brooklyn and has a reputation as a
lesbian neighborhood (Rothenberg 1995). This does not mean that some
of the women would not have preferred to be in a lesbian or gay enclave.
Those who were wealthier did live close to these locations. However,
most of the women in this study did not have enough financial resources
to "freely" choose where they could live or even visit with any regular
ity. They tended to move to more affordable housing which was on the
outskirts of the city. Ironically, traditional "Puerto Rican" neighborhoods
in NYC such as "Loisada" (the Lower East Side/East Village) which is at
the nexus of both Puerto Rican and gay enclaves have gentrified in the
last decades making them unaffordable to many of the new lower income
Puerto Rican migrants. As such, these women were more likely to live in
an ethnic enclave than a "gay" or "lesbian" enclave. In all the geographical
locations where these women resided, there were few public venues and
organizations for Latina lesbians.
Most of the women in the study wanted to meet more women like
themselves (that is, Puerto Rican lesbians from the Island) or just have
more opportunity to meet with other Latina lesbians. Although there
was a Latina lesbian group who met in lower Manhattan, few Latinas in

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 18 Marys ?l Asencio

general and migrant Puerto Rican lesbians specifically attended as regu

lar members during the study period. Those I interviewed did not know
of the group's existence or else felt that it was too far to travel to attend
meetings and events. Those who were economically better situated used
other venues to feel connected and they expressed less personal need
for such an organization. Their economic situation afforded them many
more opportunities to create a community for themselves to support both
their ethnic and sexual identities. The majority of the women, however,
expressed that they were less interested in building a presence within the
LGTB community or in gay and lesbian enclaves. They mostly preferred
to be accepted and fully integrated within the Puerto Rican and Latina/o
communities.
One of the most intriguing findings was that although the women in
this study spoke of varying challenges they faced as lesbians, regardless of
age, geographical location, ethnic/racial and sexual identification, gender
conformity, and socioeconomic status, none would choose to remove the
ethnic and sexual statuses from their lives. I asked two questions, the
first being, "If you can change anything in your life what would it be?"
Responses included having a better job, more money, and better relation
ships with family, more Latina lesbian friends, or nothing. I followed
with the question "Would it be better if you were not a lesbian or in a
relationship with a woman?" They unanimously answered "no." I found
this surprising, not because it was an answer I did not expect, but because
it was so uniform among these women with such different experiences
and circumstances. Some only added that it would be nice to be "more
accepted."

Conclusions
This research centered on the lived experiences of thirty-two migrant
Puerto Rican lesbians. As such, it attempted to understand both the
commonalities and differences in terms of these women's understanding
and experiences with multiple identities and the multiple oppressions
associated with those identities. While there is a multitude of identi
ties and social circumstances that surround an individual's life, this
research focused on only four main identities?being a woman, a lesbian,
a Puerto Rican, and a migrant. These are all statuses that have histories of
discrimination, oppression, and marginalization.
The findings of this study show how these women's negotiation of their
multiple identities and sexuality is influenced by, among other factors,
socioeconomic status, gender conformity, race/color, and the geographical
locations they inhabit. As such, throughout their lives, they are constantly
negotiating their identities, privileging and/or denying one identity over

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Migrant Puerto Rican Lesbians 19

another, in order to respond to or challenge the differing levels and sources

of oppression. While these women exhibited varying levels of resilience,
almost all of the women found it difficult to obtain complete acceptance
or a place for these specific multiple identities to be equally addressed or
respected.
While these shared multiple identities provide a common point to
understand the experiences of these women, the findings of this study
show that it would be a mistake to believe that these women's lives share
one common experience. There are issues that are more prevalent (or more
common) among these women than others. For example, the importance
and pride of their Puerto Rican identities, the wanting of all their identities
to be accepted, a satisfaction that their lesbianism is more of a positive
than a negative personal experience (although not socially accepted). On
the other side, differences (including some significant differences) were
framed by their socioeconomic conditions, family histories, geographical
locations, and gender conformity. While migrant Puerto Rican lesbians
cannot be addressed as a homogenous group, it is possible to identify the
multitude of factors that influence the way these women address and
negotiate their identities as strategies to survive, and possibly thrive,
within these oppressive systems.

Marysol Asencio is an associate professor of Human Development and

Family Studies and Puerto Rican and Latino Studies at the University of
Connecticut She has written extensively on issues involving the sexuali
ties of Latina/os. Her hook, Sex and Sexuality among New York's Puerto
Rican Youth by Lynne Rienner Publishers, was based on a three-year eth
nographic study. She is currently working on several articles and a book
based on her most recent study of migrant Puerto Rican sexual minori
ties. She is the editor of the volume, Latina/o Sexualities: Probing Powers,
Passions, Practices, and Policies, through Rutgers University Press. She
can be reached at marysol.asencio@uconn.edu.

Notes
1. The term Stateside describes the Puerto Rican population living in the United
States, outside of Puerto Rico, the U.S. Virgin Islands, or other U.S. territories.
According to Falcon (2004), "[T]he term is less ambiguous than other terms
more usually used, such as 'mainland Puerto Ricans/ 'Puerto Ricans in the
United States/ 'U.S.-based Puerto Ricans/ 'the Puerto Rican diaspora/ and so
on, which given Puerto Rico's political relationship with the United States
and the presence of Puerto Ricans in foreign countries, can be imprecise in
many respects" (2).

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 20 Marysol Asencio

2. Colonial migrants is a term that may better describe the geopolitical frame
work and position of Puerto Ricans in the United States. As Grosfoguel (2003)
has noted, the effects of colonial status are embedded in contemporary stereo
types of Puerto Rican migrant culture and identities.

3. This study was approved by the institutional review board at the University
of Connecticut and followed all ethical guidelines for fieldwork and inter
viewing. The study was funded in part by a Social Science Research Council,
Sexuality Research Fellowship, which was funded by the Ford Foundation, and
an internal grant from the University of Connecticut-Storrs.

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