ABAS, ALEXANDER MIGUEL M.

01/20/21
N3-C NCM117 RLE

SELF-AWARENESS ACTIVITY
A. PERSONAL HISTORY
1. Circumstances since birth.
When growing up I thought life is just fun and games, and everything I want, I will get,
and that I will only get hurt and cry when I trip or fall when I have bruises or wounds.
My life for me at that time was a total fairytale, I was shown and surrounded by just
purely happiness, people love me, they are fond of me, I was like a teddy bear in a
daycare that everyone wants to hold maybe because I was the youngest at that time, also I
am very cute and very chubby and maybe because I was the closest to my grandfather. I
was my Lolo's favorite, and I know until now and it won’t change, I was really spoiled by
my lolo, he will always buy me toys, he will buy me snacks especially chocolates, and he
will always make sure that every birthday I will have a party. I remember that every time
we have “pabitin”, he will always tell my dad that he should lift me up and that I should
get first before everyone else but still I am still part of the game. But everything changes
when I did the stupidest thing in my life, I made my lolo sick. There is a time that I
almost got hit by a tricycle, fortunately, my father saved me, a few days later my dad told
me that my lolo is sick because of what happened to me, that he can’t sleep and he
always gets nightmares that’s why he needs to go to manila to be treated. So as a young
boy it has always been stuck in my head that I am the reason why my lolo got sick, that I
am the one to blame for it. Also growing up people only gave me the choice of becoming
a doctor when I grow up, they always tell me that I should be the next Doctor Abas, that I
should follow in my Lolo's footsteps. I was enclosed in that kind of mindset. And
growing up I witness my parents fighting, my dad’s mistress going to our house, or us
going on a trip and being friends with us like they are doing nothing wrong. I was
becoming more and more observant, that I always discover their lies, that all they show
us are lies. We are all separated in different places and houses, we don’t have a home, we
don’t have enough money for all of us, we don’t have a family anymore. I am not given a
chance to experience a complete and happy family. We are like a charity case or
sometimes I feel like our family doesn’t treat us as a family but as a maid as well, and it
really hurts that they always remind you that we have “utang-na-loob” to them.

2. Family Tree
a. The Parents
i. Dad – My dad works as my aunt’s driver; he didn’t finish college because
they had my sister before when he is 28 years old. He doesn’t provide for
us. His family is the one that helps my mom take care of us and gives us
our needs. My dad is a rowdy person, he shouts a lot, he talks loudly, and
even when explaining things, he’s mad or angry and very loud.
 ii. Mom – My mom works as a nurse in Singapore, she got delayed because
she had my sister when she was 20 years old but fortunately, she finished
college with the help of my grandparents. My mom is the sole provider of
our family. She is the one who pays for our tuition fees and some of our
needs. But my mom is very discreet, when it comes to her problems,
feelings, and work she is very careful of what to share with us.
b. Siblings
i. Older Sister – my older sister is 5 years older than me. She is now an
elementary teacher from a private school. She is aloof to me or to us; she
is very secretive and distant to me or to us. That is why we are not really
close. We don’t know much about each other.
ii. Younger Sister – my younger sister is 2 years younger than me; she is
currently a grade 12 student from FEU-Diliman. She is very reliable; she
is the one that I always run to when I have problems or concerns. She is
always there to help me, to help us and I am very proud of her.

3. Family Relationship
a. General Home Atmosphere (include the economic background, leisure time
activities, etc.) – we don’t have a home/house, we all live in separate houses, I
and my dad live in my aunt’s house with my aunt’s family while my two sisters
live in my other aunt’s house with her family as well and my mom is in Singapore
for work. Me, my mom, and my sisters most of the time, we video call just to
update things in our life. But when my mom goes home, we always go to a
different place and eat in different places. While me, my dad, and two sisters get
to bond every Saturday (family day) or when there are occasions.
b. Parent-Child Relationship – I am not very close to my parents maybe because
they were far away when I was growing up and also because I was afraid that at
some point when I was young, they will discover that I am gay. Being gay in our
family is somewhat taboo or not really accepted. One time my dad told me that if
I was really gay, he will beat me up and he will throw me out of the house, and
with that in mind, I really distant myself from them and I don’t want to disappoint
my mom because of my gender. But I think we can get along sometimes when we
are together, we laugh, we talk and communicate well. And also, right now that
my mom knows that I’m gay I can somewhat talk to them more and not distance
myself to them but for my dad, it is still the same.
c. Sibling Relationship – when I was younger, I was not really close to my siblings
because they were both girls and as a closeted gay, I don’t want them to know.
But now that they know we get along well more but I am much closer to my
younger sister because she is the one that always listens to me, she gives me
advice and be my shoulder to cry on and sometimes I think she much more
mature than I am. But I know whatever happens I know we got each other’s back.
4. Social Relationship
a. Friends – my friends are like my family. They are the people that I can talk to
with anything, I tell them my frustrations, my problems and my secrets, my
relationships, my heartbreaks and my crushes. I got their back and they got mine.
I love my friends I really cherish them; they are like my sisters and brothers that I
never had. When I’m with them I always have fun, I am always happy and I can
show them the real me.
b. Boy/girl Relationship – right now I have no special someone, I intended to focus
on myself and in improving myself for the better. And people couldn’t get my
interest right now, people are too boring right now and we only talk because they
are bored and not interested in having a relationship.

5. Educational and Cultural Background

a. Highlights of school experience – when I was in elementary, I was attending a
catholic private school St. John the Apostle Academy in our province, I was
bullied a lot during elementary and nobody knew about it and I didn’t tell anyone
because I thought it was normal but still I excel in sport like badminton and I
found my deepest interest and love for volleyball, I also tend to excel in class I
graduated 3rd honor in our batch. After I graduated, I attended Junior High Scholl
in a private school here in Congressional Ave. Q.C., Colegio de San Lorenzo, I
was also bullied for being feminine and at that time I always deny it because I
want to be a man that time. My love for volleyball grew through the years and
while excelling in class I also became a boy scout because of my friends. After
graduating I studied Senior High School in University of Santo Tomas for 2 years.
Here I already accepted who I really am, I was open to all the things I am not
fully aware of myself and the society that I was in. And for 1 year I studied
nursing also in the said university, I became a Comelec deputy. 2019 I transferred
to FEU-NRMF and currently enrolled in 3rd Year 2nd Semester. Covid started at
the last few months of my 2nd year 2nd semester this is the start of online classes.
And my whole 2020 I only stayed home and attend my online classes.
b. School adjustments – coming from the province and moving here in manila, I
really need to adjust at first, I was culture shock but because of the friends I made
through the years, things became easy and bearable. I can easily adapt to new
places and people. And when I entered college I really need to adjust because my
course is a lot harder than the previous years. Transferring to a new is frightening
but I have my previous friends with me in my new school so it was easy to adjust
and people are really nice here in my new school, I made a lot of friends really
fast.
 c. Relationship with Professors/Clinical Instructors, classmates and schoolmates -
My relationship with my professors are good, I always respect and listen to their
lesson and advices. I have civil relationship with my classmates and schoolmates
as well. But I all treat them as friends, so it is easy to talk to them.

B. ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION

a. What type of personality do you possess?
i. I am an outgoing, extroverted and funny person. I cans easily adapt to any
situation or environment and I can easily talk to people I just met. I like
having a lot of people with me and love having fun and making people
laugh from my jokes. I am a bit lazy but still I make sure that I do my best
in everything I do.
b. What do other people think of you as a person?
i. People say that I am very confident and friendly to the point that I tend to
“feeling close” to people I just met. And I gain a lot of friends easily. My
friend also told me that I am a good listener and I give good advices
specially in love.
c. Strength & Weaknesses
i. My strength is that I am a creative person, I can share or conceptualize
ideas with my classmates. I am also a versatile person I can adjust to
different situations that may come in my way. Also, I am very dedicated
and determined when I have things to accomplish or when it is about my
future job. I procrastinate a lot because it tends to give more great ideas
sometimes. Procrastination is also one of my weaknesses, sometimes
when I procrastinate, my mind wont work so my works are all plain and
not well thought of. I am also really impatient, I don’t like waiting,
specially for people, but I also tend to be late a lot, simple because
sometimes I am to lazy to move or leave the house.
d. Success and Failure in life
i. Graduating senior high school and still studying nursing is one of my
success in life, I am proud of what I have achieved and I will still
persevere until I finish college and the boards. I have many failures in my
life one is that I failed to be a good grandson to my lolo, and the fact that I
made him sick. Second is the fact that I failed my mom, I failed of
becoming his straight son. And lastly, that I failed to meet the quota grade
in my dream school but I right now, not meeting the quota grade is a
blessing for me because if I didn’t failed and move to a new school I
wouldn’t have met these amazing people that I have in my life right now
and it is also a learning experience from me.
 C. RECALL ANY CRITICAL INCIDENT THAT YOU EXPERIENCED IN YOUR
LIFE AND ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS:
1. Describe the actual incident
a. When I was 4 years old, I was almost got hit by a tricycle, fortunately my
dad saved me on time.
2. Explain why the incident was critical or significant for you
a. Because of that incident, my lolo got ill and went to manila for treatment.
My lolo seen the incident and because of that he couldn’t sleep properly so
his health deteriorates and he need to go to manila for proper treatment. As
a child knowing that you are the cause of your favorite lolo’s illness is
very traumatic and depressing to the point that until now I still blame
myself for it.
3. Explain your concern at that time
a. My only concern at that time was the well being of my lolo and the fact
that I almost got hurt.
4. Describe what you were feeling and thinking as it was taking place and afterwards
a. Before the incident happened, I was just happy to be receiving 10 pesos to
buy candy, I am only thinking at that time is to buy some candy from a
“tindahan” in front of our church. But afterwards I was shocked and
crying, I was also really worried about my lolo to the point that I always
cry before I sleep.
5. Mention anything particularly demanding about the situation
a. I was really in shock for a few moments and started crying a lot and
because I was being scolded also that the stress and crying did not stop for
a long time.
6. What did you do when you experienced that critical incident/Coping Mechanism?
a. Maybe because as a kid you don’t really remember everything for too
long, I don’t have any coping mechanism it’s just that at one point I just
stop crying because my mom went home from manila and told me it
wasn’t my fault and lolo will be alright and that I should always be
careful. I was more concerned about my lolo leaving than me almost
getting hit by a tricycle.
7. Explain how the incident will impact upon your future
a. The incident made me care more about other and made me take care of my
self more so that I won’t worry anyone and no one will be bothered
because of me. And I think this incident made me more cautious about my
surroundings and my life.

D. PHILOSOPHY IN LIFE
The past doesn’t define who you are today as a person, learn from your mistakes, analyze
every decision you’ve made and forget your past. Always keep moving forward…