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You’re overwhelmed.

You wake up early and sleep later than you should, but you still
can’t find time to fit everything you and your family need into the
day. From hectic mornings to frantic evenings, your day is one long
stretch of “go, go, go.” And it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.

Maintaining this lifestyle isn’t sustainable. At some point, you’ll reach

your threshold and can’t keep doing this—not anymore.

You see other parents who seem to have everything together. They
cook from scratch every day of the week. They never forget a bill or
a doctor’s appointment. Their homes, though not sparkling clean, still
maintain a sense of order.

I’ve had days where I wondered what I got myself into and doubted
my abilities to be a good mom. I didn’t know whether life would get
any easier or if stress would be my constant companion. And I didn’t
always feel happy like I thought I would be.

With time and implementing old and new habits, I’ve been able to
feel less overwhelmed and, dare I say it, confident in my role as
a mom. I work, pursue my interests and write a blog. Somewhere
in between raising three boys, including twins, I even wrote a
parenting book.

How? I used the tips in this e-book to get my life in order.

I won’t lie: feeling overwhelmed doesn’t just go away. You won’t

follow a magic formula that removes all your stress after 30 days.

Instead, you’ll practice strategies to get your life in order. You’ll

channel your efforts into activities that matter. Make better use of
your time.

1
Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t have to define your life. You’re busy,
but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy motherhood.

You simply need the tools to get your life in order.

In this e-book, I share four key strategies:

• Get organized
• Establish a routine
• Use your time wisely
• Get others on board

Many parents have asked me how I ”do it all.” They can’t remember
the last time they felt truly happy, and instead feel burdened with
their never-ending responsibilities. While we can’t erase all our
stress, we can feel less overwhelmed.

Let’s begin with getting your life organized.

2
STRATEGY 1
GET ORGANIZED
If you barely remember to bring a shopping list much less make one,
getting organized might seem like a daunting task. But with kids
and added responsibilities, finding a system that works is necessary
to keep yourself from feeling overwhelmed. Scrambling last minute,
rushing out the house or forgetting to pay a bill simply aren’t
sustainable nor enjoyable ways to spend your days.

You don’t need to schedule every last detail to get organized,

however. I’ve highlighted four major categories to start. Organizing
just these four parts of your life will make your days flow smoother
and feel less hectic:

• Meal planning
• Chores and cleaning
• Calendars and lists
• Daily prep

MEAL PLANNING
Do you scramble to prepare dinner in the evenings? Are you rushing
to the grocery store to pick up a forgotten ingredient? Has your
budget taken a hit because you’ve had to eat at a restaurant or order
take out again?

With meal planning, you don’t stress about what to cook every night.
You save time running to the grocery several times a week. You even
save money by buying and using only the items you need.

3
Strategy 1 : Get Organized

But don’t worry: This isn’t complicated. This is for the mom who just
needs good ol’ paper and pen to jot down the ingredients for the
week. The mom who may not always have time on her hands but is
tired of serving the same things every night. The mom who groans
when she finds expired food in the back of the pantry she purchased
and forgot about. This is easy meal planning for beginners:

First, ask yourself how many days a week you want to cook.
Every family is different. Some of us have more members to feed.
Others have just had a baby and can’t fathom the thought of
preparing a home-cooked meal. Decide on a good number of days
per week that works for your family.

Then, find the same number of recipes to fill those days. Let’s
say you decide to cook four days a week. Now find four recipes.

Finally, make two lists. The first is a list of your weekly recipes.
This is where you’ll write your four recipes for the week. Or print
your recipes and set them in a designated area.

The second is your shopping list. Write the ingredients you need
to buy.

Quick tips: Find recipes that take an hour or less to

cook or those that can cook on its own (like in a slow-
cooker or baking in the oven). Shop once a week and
include everything you’ll need to avoid mid-week runs.
And save money by finding recipes with ingredients you
already have.

4
Strategy 1 : Get Organized

The last thing you need is yet another run to the grocery store to
pick up a forgotten ingredient. Or to bundle the kids in the car to eat
at a restaurant yet again.

Meal planning eliminates those hassles and saves you time and
money. You’ll know exactly which meals to cook and the ingredients
you need to make them.

CHORES AND CLEANING

Parents have a pass with messy house guilt. Still, that doesn’t mean
our homes have to look cluttered and disgusting. Avoid feeling
overwhelmed by sticking to a cleaning schedule and keeping your
home clutter-free.

First, establish a cleaning schedule that works for you and your
family. That might mean making a list of the chores you need to do
every week, every two weeks, or every month. Divide the list among
family members so chores don’t fall only on you.

Then, decide which chores you need to do regularly and

reserve the rest for deep cleaning. For many of us, we feel
pressured to thoroughly clean our homes when we don’t need
to. Deep clean when visitors come and focus on daily or weekly
maintenance.

Lastly, teach your kids to pick up after themselves. This not only
makes cleaning easier, but instills a useful habit:

5
Strategy 1 : Get Organized

• Assign a designated spot for each toy so your kids know

where to put them back. When toys have their regular places,
kids need less reminders of where to put them. They know
the cars go on the shelves, the balls in the yellow box and the
stuffed animals in the toy bin.

• Give them direction. Make clean up a family affair rather than

a task only for kids. Help by putting more difficult or complex
toys away. Give your kids tasks to do if they’re looking around
and need direction. Point them to items they missed so they can
pitch in.

• Clean up throughout the day to avoid a massive mess come

evening. This makes the end-of-the-day clean up finale less
arduous. Plus, you’ll have more space to play throughout the
day when toys aren’t strewn everywhere.

• Lastly, model the same habits yourself. Keep your home tidy,
take care of your belongings, and clean up as you go along. Your
kids will learn more from your habits than your empty words.

And just as importantly, do so with a positive disposition. Don’t

grumble about making your bed—simply do it. Treating chores
as another hassle translates to your kids’ attitudes.

CALENDARS AND LISTS

Part of feeling overwhelmed comes from cramming everything
you need to remember in your head. You’re placing too much
responsibility on your brain if you rely on it to track your tasks and
outings. Instead, use calendars and lists.

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Strategy 1 : Get Organized

I hang a calendar on our kitchen wall where my husband and I write

important dates. I also use the calendar on my phone for minor tasks
I need to do: bank, library, a work lunch. Then I also use a digital
calendar for my blog and online projects.

Track due dates and your personal pre-deadlines. If you need to

send your child’s preschool check by the first of the month, note it
on the 25th of every month. Need to renew your gym membership by
June? Schedule it for mid-May every year. I even track when I need
to switch my contact lenses.

Get in the habit of checking your daily to-do lists, and cross them off
as you go along. When a thought enters your mind, whether a task,
a fantastic idea or a reminder to yourself, remove it from your brain
and write it down.

I keep a notebook nearby to capture these thoughts. My to-do’s go

on my phone, no matter how mundane (right now, my phone says to
email my son’s teacher and to record our grocery bill).

You’ll get more things done when you rely on an organization system
to remind you of your tasks.

DAILY PREP
You’re half awake by the time the kids are up but you still need to
get breakfast ready. Meanwhile, they haven’t packed their homework
or are fighting over a toy. You’re scrambling to get dressed while
trying to remember what you need to bring as well. No wonder
leaving the house on time feels like a miracle.

Here’s the trick that always works for me: prepare the night
before. You may feel tired in the evenings, but you’ll feel even more
exhausted in the morning. Am I right?

7
Strategy 1 : Get Organized

Think about everything you need before leaving the house: Choose
your outfit. Pack your child’s book bag as well as your purse. Plan
your lunches, and check the tasks you need to do the next day. That
way you’ll have everything in order the next morning.

Then, take it up a notch and wake up earlier than the kids, even
if just to wash your face and wake yourself up. Better yet, have
breakfast ready. You don’t have to get everything done before they’re
up, but spend at least a few minutes on the basics—anything you
can’t do well with the kids around.

Part of feeling less overwhelmed is feeling prepared and confident.

That can only come from planning your day and thinking ahead
about all the things you’ll need.

Organizing your life is critical to keeping yourself from feeling

overwhelmed. Daily tasks don’t just go away—in fact, they pile up
when left unattended and can leave you frazzled. Finding a system
to organize them helps your day flow better.

Plan your weekly meals. Use a chore list (without going overboard
on deep cleaning). Use calendars and lists to track your schedule and
tasks. And prepare the night before while waking up before the kids.

In the next section, we’ll talk about another important factor in

feeling less overwhelmed: establishing routines.

8
STRATEGY 2
ESTABLISH A ROUTINE
What is it with routines? You hear about them all the time, from
bedtime to after school. You’re intrigued, but don’t want to forfeit
spontaneity or feel chained to the clock.

Here’s the thing though: routines make fun outings and changes
to your plans all the more doable. Because you’ve established
predictability, your child will feel excited, not anxious, when plans
change.

Routines eliminate power struggles and encourage self-

initiation. You won’t nag your kids to wash their hands before
and after meals when they know they’re supposed to, for instance.
Far from boring, routines run on autopilot so your kids need little
reminder of what comes next.

Routines also ease anxieties your kids may feel. They’re comforted
when they know what to expect and recognize the familiar flow of the
day. Rather than worrying, they’re able to focus on playing, learning,
and relaxing.

And lastly, routines means less work for you. They let you fill in
plans and activities around your “daily pillars,” such as nap and meal
times. If lunch is always at 11am, you can plan playdates or errands
in the mornings.

In this section, we’ll discuss two of the most chaotic times of the day—
mornings and evenings—and how to restore order using routines.

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Strategy 2 : Establish a Routine

PUTTING ORDER INTO YOUR MORNING ROUTINE

Perhaps one of the most hectic times of the day, mornings are prime
times for routine. Without one, you’re rushing out the door and
nagging the kids to put on their shoes for the hundredth time. Instead,
implement a routine you and your kids are happy with:

• Eat the same, simple breakfast on weekdays. Stick to

a simple breakfast. Making oatmeal takes five minutes, but
several more to make pancakes and eggs. Running your
breakfast on autopilot means less complicated mornings.

• Get a good night’s rest. Don’t skimp on a good night’s rest,

if possible. The same goes for your kids. Tired parents and
kids too cranky to function are the last things you need come
morning time.

• Follow the same morning routine every day. Whichever

routine you choose, stick to it every morning.

• As mentioned in the previous section, get everything ready

the night before, including packing your kids’ backpacks
and lunches.

Adding structure to your mornings helps kids remember what to do

next. Start with a few reminders, then allow them to take the lead.
Keep things simple, and stick to the same activities. Soon you’ll fine-
tune your mornings and start the day smoothly.

10
Strategy 2 : Establish a Routine

SURVIVING THE WITCHING HOURS

It’s a typical evening: The kids need your attention while you’re busy
making dinner. Or you’re preparing lunches for the next day before
realizing you still need to nurse the baby. Meanwhile, your two older
kids can’t seem to settle on who gets to play with the toy first.

Everyone wants your attention, and they’re cranky until they get it.
Never mind that the afternoons feel like one crazy ride of constant
action, from finishing last minute homework to getting dressed for
soccer practice.

Here’s a trick I learned about the hours after school: Kids need
downtime once they’re home. Give them 30 minutes to do
whatever they want without worrying about homework, chores or
extracurricular activities. Better yet, use this time to connect with
your kids. Have a snack together, play with toys, read a book, or
cook dinner together.

Quick tip: Spend a few minutes focusing on your kids.

They haven’t seen you for several hours. Maybe they
had a rough day, or an exciting one, and they need you
to be there for them. Even five minutes focusing solely
on them can be all they need to reconnect.

Listen to what they say without the typical “uh huh.”

You’ll avoid the whining that happens when they want
your attention but don’t know how else to get it.

11
Strategy 2 : Establish a Routine

As with your mornings, do the same tasks you usually do every

evening. Maybe that means snacking when your kids get home and
free play while you cook in the kitchen. Schedule dinners and bath
around the same time every night. Running on autopilot gives your
kids structure and reduces the need to remind them what’s next.

Do routines mean you’re bound to a strict schedule and can never be

spontaneous? Not at all.

Exceptions and special occasions make the days exciting and fun.
Sometimes they’re necessary even if we don’t want the interruption.

Routines make those rare days more doable. They anchor your
daily life to allow for spontaneity. And since you’ve established
predictability, your kids will be more likely to accommodate changes
than if they didn’t know what to expect.

Without routine, you’re forced to constantly think on the fly, or to

create a new plan each and every time. No wonder many of us feel
overwhelmed without a routine.

Instead, rely on routines to streamline your day. You’ll avoid nagging

your kids and ground them in predictability. And most importantly,
you won’t start from scratch each time because you’ll know what
to expect.

12
STRATEGY 3
USE YOUR TIME WISELY
You’ve organized your meals and chores. You’ve planned your
calendars and prepared the night before. You’ve also established
routines to add predictability to your life.

Except none of those tips will work if you’re not efficient with
your time. Being busy isn’t the same as being productive. Maybe
you spend the better half of the day tending to little tasks while
forgetting bigger, more important ones. Or you cram your days with
too many activities. Maybe you even feel obligated to save your tasks
and leisure time for when the kids are in bed.

In this section, we’ll focus on using your time wisely and how doing
so can make you feel less overwhelmed.

DON’T TAKE ON TOO MUCH

Adding extra commitments may be contributing to you feeling
overwhelmed. Do you enroll your child in too many enrichment
classes or extracurricular activities? Have you accepted back-to-back
invitations on nearly every weekend this month? Are you and your
family constantly on the go?

Instead, determine whether each activity is worth the returns you

get. If going from party to swimming class is taking its toll on your
weekends, drop a few commitments so you’re not doing too much.

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Strategy 3 : Use Your Time Wisely

Learn to say “no” to invitations and obligations. Stick to one

extracurricular activity at a time (such as swim classes only, not
swim and piano). Pick one outing for the day like going to the zoo in
the morning and staying home in the afternoon.

Kids need downtime just as much as they need stimulation. You may
feel obligated to expose your child to new experiences, but he needs
time to decompress and process his surroundings as well. Time to
tinker with his toys, draw and play without an agenda.

Similarly, make sure your own schedule isn’t packed. Pace yourself
so you’re not doing too much at the same time. Make use of
deadlines and try not to do everything right now when you can do
them later. Learn to say “no” or “maybe” when commitments are
already stressful enough.

A busy schedule can overwhelm the best of us. We lose track of what
we need to pack. We yell at our kids for not hurrying. We don’t feel
like we can relax.

Instead, keep your calendar free. Learn to say ’no’ to events that
don’t give you much in return. Enjoy simple outings or time at home.
Above all, be picky with what you’re willing to spend your time on—
we only have so many hours in a day.

INCORPORATE THE KIDS INTO YOUR LIFE

You’re back from a date night or time alone for yourself. You’re
feeling refreshed and recharged. But the minute you open the door
and come home, you realize it’s back to the grind.

Your life feels like it’s on hold when you’re back to mom duty with
the kids. You read, play, and hang out with the kids the whole day,

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Strategy 3 : Use Your Time Wisely

but stay up late to do everything else. You wait until they nap to
finish folding that pile of laundry. And you don’t bother taking the
kids on errands for fear they’ll have a meltdown you’d rather not
deal with (in public, no less!).

I’ve felt overwhelmed when I put my life on pause. Sometimes this

is necessary and even preferable. I need uninterrupted time to write,
for instance. But to do that for every time is exhausting. Instead, find
one activity—one level up from you comfort zone—and do it with the
kids awake. Incorporate them into your life so you still feel like you
can do things.

It could be as simple as washing the dishes while the kids are

playing nearby on the kitchen floor. Maybe it’s reading a book while
they’re playing cars, or bringing them on quick errands you normally
save for after they’re asleep. Or involving them in modified hobbies
you once enjoyed but have forfeited since becoming a mom.

Each time, you realize you can have a life with kids. And perhaps
more importantly, challenging yourself raises your confidence and
makes you feel strong enough to do nearly anything.

With each challenge, you grow into your role, gaining experience as
you go along. You learn the best ways to avert a tantrum and how
to combine errands with fun kid-related activities. You feel like you
can do the things you used to do before becoming a mom. Start with
these ideas:

• Let your kids play independently for several minutes while you
do chores.

• Do a fun activity for yourself while the kids are awake, like
reading a book or exercising to a workout video.

15
Strategy 3 : Use Your Time Wisely

• Bring the kids on an errand and make it an adventure. To

avoid overtired kids, don’t stay out too long or hold unrealistic
expectations of their patience. Leave after a nap and snack, and
keep the outing short.

• Take the kids with you on a fun hobby, even if it’s a “kid”
version of it. Maybe you won’t hike the long trail you used to,
but you can walk the easy path in less time.

Incorporating kids into your life allows you to pursue hobbies or tend
to tasks and still spend time with them. It doesn’t always have to be
one or the other.

We have limited hours in a day. It’s never pleasant when some of

those hours leave us feeling overwhelmed.

Instead, be mindful of how you spend your time. Be productive,

not necessarily busy. Don’t take on more than you can handle. And
incorporate the kids into your life so you don’t feel like your days
are on pause. While we can never add more hours into the day, we
can use what we have wisely to feel accomplished, relaxed and less
overwhelmed.

So far we’ve talked about getting our lives organized, implementing

routines, and using our time wisely. In the next and last section, we’ll
discuss one key strategy to feeling less overwhelmed: getting others
on board.

16
STRATEGY 4
GET OTHERS ON BOARD
We feel overwhelmed when we assume too many responsibilities.
We safeguard our role as the “Ideal Mom.” We brush off any attempts
from our village to help. We feel obligated to do the tasks ourselves
or because we’re not happy with the way others handle it.

This last strategy focuses on getting others on board: equal parenting

with your partner and establishing strong relationships.

DADS ARE CO-PARENTS, NOT BABYSITTERS

”Is your husband babysitting the kids?”

Tell me that wouldn’t drive you nuts to hear when you’re out and
about without the kids. As if you’re the sole parent and your partner
the occasional sitter.

Your child’s other parent is equally responsible for your child. We

need to steer away from the assumption that moms do everything
while dads pitch in like the secondary parent on standby.

Parents need to share duties so that:

• both feel they’re engaged and involved in their children’s lives

• one parent doesn’t feel overwhelmed with his or her role,

whether at home or at work, with no end in sight

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Strategy 4 : Get Others On Board

• both parents feel like a team

• your kids see both of you as equals

How?

Communicate
I’m sure I’m not the only who has heaved sighs of frustration at her
husband for not reading her mind. Why is he on his computer while
I’m washing dishes? You might say to yourself. Shouldn’t he get the
hint and do some chores so I can relax too?

No. He won’t read your mind. My husband didn’t understand sigh-

heaving as a legitimate means of communication, and I was forced to
reveal my feelings, the ones he couldn’t read from my mind.

We regularly talk about our expectations and wants. We touch

base on who does what. Every night, we recap stories about the
kids and review what needs to be done the next day. We’re able to
discuss an effective way for both of us to run our household. Without
communication, you rely on unfair assumptions. Instead, be open
about your expectations and wants.

Don’t assume that childcare is solely your responsibility

As moms, we shouldn’t assume childcare duties fall on our shoulders
only. Even if one parent stays home, both can be equally engaged
and involved in their children’s lives. But to do so, we have to make
it easy for both parents to participate:

• Don’t be a gatekeeper. Let dad soothe the baby, even when

you have nothing else to do, and even when it takes him longer
to comfort her. Doing so is the only way he and the baby will
learn how to comfort and feel comforted.

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Strategy 4 : Get Others On Board

• Loosen your standards. Dad didn’t fold the kids’ clothes the
“right way”? Don’t redo the job. Let it go and let him have a say
in how to fold clothes as well.

• Take turns with childcare and household duties. Do you

pick the kids up from school? Maybe dad can drop them off. If
you cook, he can wash dishes.

• Take turns with nighttime wakeups. Did you wake up to

check on the baby last time? Now it’s his turn. Or alternate
nights: You wake up for nighttime feedings tonight while he
wakes up the next. Or take shifts: He can man the late evenings
while you do the early mornings.

• Work together as a team. Be clear on who does what to

avoid delegating. A boss/employee relationship isn’t exactly
the kind you want with your partner. Create a system where
both parents are pitching in and understand their roles and
duties. For instance, you can bathe your child while dad gathers
pajamas, books, and milk.

Support both careers

Job importance doesn’t rely on paychecks or gender. Some of us love
of our jobs, even when it doesn’t pay much. Some jobs bear more
impact on our community. Some jobs aren’t even paid.

Don’t assume your partner’s career takes precedence because he’s

the father. Nor should someone’s job be more important than the
other because he or she earns more.

Support both jobs, paid or not. Some ideas:

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Strategy 4 : Get Others On Board

• One parent can stay home for sick days while the other handles
doctor’s appointments.

• Establish expectations and mark special days on the calendar

where one parent will need to be at work more than usual.

• The parent who works while the other stays home should still
do his or her part when at home.

Both parents should parent

Imagine taking a weekend off to be with your girlfriends, and your
partner will be home with the kids. Would he know what to do?
Each parent should know the kids’ routines, even if he or she doesn’t
always do them on a daily basis.

And each parent needs time for herself or himself. A few hours to
grab lunch or attend a meeting. A night to have dinner with friends
or hike with coworkers. One parent shouldn’t feel tied down to the
kids because the other one would flounder if left alone with them.

Assuming you have a co-parenting partner in crime, remember you

are not alone in your responsibilities. Communicate honestly with
your partner about your expectations, duties and feelings. Share the
workload with other adults, even if they don’t do it the way you do.
Support both careers and job positions, regardless of whether one or
both of you work outside the home. And parent equally, so each of
you knows your child’s needs.

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Strategy 4 : Get Others On Board

PRIORITIZE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Remember how life was like before kids? Maybe you used to visit
art shows with your friends, or make your own pasta for dinner, or
watch movies (in a theater!) with your partner.

Then motherhood came with different responsibilities and

limitations. You have more duties with less time. You can’t always
leave the kids with a sitter. And you’re overwhelmed with your new
role, almost forgetting who you once were not so long ago.

You’re more than just a mom. This may be your most important
role, but focusing only on motherhood isn’t always fun. No wonder
you feel stressed when you don’t make room in our lives for your
other roles.

Focus on improving the different relationships you have, including:

With yourself
You spend all your time caring for kids, cleaning your home and
working. Come evenings and weekends, you feel bad about not
spending time with your kids, so you devote those hours to them.
Life doesn’t seem fun but rather imbalanced. You hear about
coworkers and friends—even those with kids—pursuing hobbies and
going out. And all of that doesn’t seem possible, a least not for you.
Or is it?

Find a hobby you can do at home. Maybe you were once an avid
wine taster. Or a fitness fanatic. Or you’d hit the waves on your
surfboard. As a mom, there’s less opportunity to pursue hobbies,
understandably.

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Strategy 4 : Get Others On Board

Consider finding or rekindling a hobby you enjoy that you can do at

home instead. Maybe that’s playing a musical instrument, reading, or
gardening. Adjust an old hobby into something you can do at home,
such as exercising instead of going to the gym like you used to.

Do fun things after the kids are asleep. The hours after 8pm are
my ‘me’ hours where, with the kids quietly tucked in bed, I can write
(hi!). My husband catches up on soccer news or plays his guitar.
We’ll both read or watch television.

Taking care of yourself takes precedence over your partner and even
your kids. Yep—it’s more important you take care of yourself before
you take care of anyone else. A mom at her wit’s end can’t be a good
mom or a loving partner.

With your partner

Feeling stressed about your partner can take its toll. You might yell at
the kids when really, you were more annoyed at their dad. You might
resent him because he’s out and about while you’re stuck at home.
Maybe you’ve even forgotten the spark you once had, with childcare
consuming your every minute.

Maintain a relationship so you’re not just co-parents, but committed

to one another too. Two people who enjoy each other’s company.
The more stable and happy your relationship, the less stressed you’ll
feel. You’ll remember what life was like before kids. You’ll have a
glimpse of what it’ll be like once your little ones are no longer little
and have moved out of the house. You’ll live a life that’s happy on its
own instead of dependent on being mom.

So yes, do date nights, even if date nights mean dinner at home

after the kids are in bed. Drop the kids off at grandma’s to have an

22
Strategy 4 : Get Others On Board

afternoon to yourselves. Discuss your favorite movies and ask one

another about your hobbies.

Maintaining a healthy relationship not only helps you become better

partners, but better and happier parents as well.

With your friends and family

Along with your partner, make time for friends and loved ones. Long
gone are the days when I saw my friends daily. Now that we’re
grown up with responsibilities, we don’t get to see one another too
often. But I still try to call or visit, invite them for dinner, or text and
email.

An 8:30pm dinner date with a friend seems exhausting just thinking

about the time you’ll get home (because we all know kids won’t
sleep in even if we want to), but friendships are that important to me
that I’ll mark my calendar and commit to it. This doesn’t mean it has
to happen frequently, either—once in a while hang outs are all I need
or are able to do.

Don’t neglect the friendships you’ve made. You may need to get
creative, or settle with seeing one another less frequently than you
wish. But having a strong social support helps you feel less alone.

Get or hire help

We can’t do this alone, and sometimes even both parents can’t
handle everything. It takes a village, they say. I rely so much on our
families, from babysitting to my mom visiting every week.

Help also comes with hiring others. It’s fine to pay someone to do
tasks you don’t want to or can’t do yourself. Maybe you need to hire

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Strategy 4 : Get Others On Board

someone to help in the evenings when you’re alone with the kids.
Or a housekeeper to come every two weeks so you don’t stress about
a messy home. Or a nanny to watch the kids because working from
home with them is too difficult.

Asking for help does not mean you’re failing. It’s hard enough for
two parents to take care of kids. Relying on help is okay—you’re
simply leaning on your village.

Whether with your partner, your friends, your family or yourself,

relationships matter. They connect us to other people and help us not
feel alone in this journey. These are the ties that will make parenting
so much easier. Learn to take care of yourself. Connect with your
partner every day. Rekindle friendships and hire help if need be.
Getting others on board will help you feel part of a community, a
team, and less alone and overwhelmed.

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ASSIGNMENTS
Like I mentioned in the beginning, I don’t have a magic formula
that erases all your stress. Still, I’m a big fan of taking action. We
can do so much to feel less overwhelmed with even one or two
simple steps.

To inspire you to take action, I’ve listed several assignments you can
do. Each one is an actionable step, sectioned by the four strategies.

STRATEGY 1: GET ORGANIZED

• Find recipes for the week and write their ingredients on a

shopping list. Then shop on the same day every week for the
ingredients.

• Create a chore list for your family members. Write events and
due dates on a monthly calendar and to-do list.

• Prepare for the next day, such as packing lunches or choosing

your outfit.

STRATEGY 2: FIND A ROUTINE

• Wake up 15 minutes earlier than normal.

• Do the same tasks before leaving the house and when returning
home. Make a list of all the things you want to do each morning
and evening.

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STRATEGY 3: USE YOUR TIME WISELY

• Schedule only one “big” event every day, including weekends.

For instance, no two birthday parties on the same day.

• Look through your to-do list and see which are absolute musts.
Start those first and reconsider the others.

• While the kids are playing, do one chore or a simple hobby

(like reading).

• Take the kids with you on a quick errand or a fun outing,

modified to accommodate them.

STRATEGY 4: GET OTHERS ON BOARD

• Set a few hours just for yourself to do whatever you want to do.

• Schedule a date night.

• Call or hang out with a friend or find a mom group.

• Consider hiring outside help, whether on a regular basis or for a

one-time need.

Feeling overwhelmed takes the joy out of parenthood. Tasks pile

up. Tempers flare. You’ve just about had it with responsibilities
falling on your shoulders.

You don’t have to live like that anymore. A less-stressed, enjoyable

lifestyle is within your reach. Take action. Start now, however small,
and bring order into your life. You’ll enjoy motherhood the way
you’ve always wanted to and stop feeling overwhelmed.

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