Behind-the-Times Comics

FINAL 4
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ISSUE 4
Do I really need to tell you not to
try these moves at home?

Reprinting this comic without

written permission by the owner
is strictly prohibited.

(C) 2019-2021 by Dan Graffeo

Hello everyone from ringside.
...Along with Li Ru, manager
I'm Hal Dhuwan, coming to
and sister of Choi Ru...
you from Grand Rapids,
Michigan...

...as well as Heat Lightning,

joining this time on What's up, Hal?
commentary.

Well, regardless of your views, Li Ru,

What's up is that my brother is your brother is no longer apart of the
the unrecognized International official tournament. Let's take a look at
Heavyweight Champion! the brackets.
 HD: As you can see, Octane got a
bye last time, but tonight, he
faces Theseus.
HL: Who had a great victory
over Choi Ru and--

LR: He did not beat my brother!

My brother was swindled out of
his destiny! And I hope Octane
makes Theseus pay tonight!

HD: Moving on, we

have Frostbyt,
victorious last time
over Sy Fiye. Tonight,
he faces a rather
battered Taipan
Taylor.

HL: Don't ya'll count

Taipan out just yet.
He may be battered,
but he ain't beatin.

LR: He's done for. He only got

past Tatendo Chubuya because
of a ridiculous decision by the
referee.

Tatendo “the Lion”

Chubuya. That's the man
that decimated you, Heat
Lightning.
 Yeah, he beat me. What can I
say? I don't have no manager
interfering in my matches so I
can get a cheap victory.

Speaking of the Lion, he is

apparently turning heads This is an outrage!
backstage. Let's go there, now.

You cannot fine Tatendo “the Lion” Chubuya

three-thousand dollars!
You punched out a referee. It is not a serious violation if he deserves
That is a serious violation. it! He made the wrong call!

Well if you won't pay it, the Eritrean

Tatendo “the Lion” Chubuya will government will. Then other
not pay this fine! wrestlers will have their
governments do the same thing.
No one will ever learn their lesson.

Tatendo, you're not

Good.
paying that fine.
 You're suspended!

Ladies and gentlemen, this match is

scheduled for one fall. In the ring at
this time, from York, England, weighing
128 pounds...PORTIA WELLSLEY!

HL: Wow!
the Lion
LR: This HD: Well,
has been
woman she's a part-
tamed!
looks time dancer
pathetic. and part-
What do time
we know receptionist
about her? who wants
to give
wrestling a
try.

Her opponent, coming down the Professor (BLEEEP!)

aisle, with her manager, Harpo, I'm off!
Professor Karl Harpo...from curious
Seneca Falls, New York, weighing why you
140 pounds...GABBY STUKOFF! were--
 HL: What's up LR: They were on their way
with that? Carmen to the ring. It was a foolish
was just trying to time to get an interview.
ask a question. HD: Look who's
backstage.

This Devil's food

cake is awesome,
I'm so glad Mrs. Stone.
you like it,
dear.

Oops, you have HD: Portia offering her

some frosting on hand in a sign of
your face. sportsmanship.
HL: What do you know? HD:
Gabby showing some Somehow, I
class. knew that
was going to
happen.

LR: I knew she was

pathetic. One
punch and she's
on her knees.

You watchin' this, Mrs. Stone?! This is my world, (BLEEEP!)

GAAGH!
 Mis-sush Shtone? Mis-sush
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
Shtone? You're gibbing me
a bruise!

HL:
Gabby
tossing
Portia out
of the HD: I think Portia
ring. underestimated how
tough it can be here
in IWW.

HL: Look at
Harpo man-
handling her.
What an
(BLEEEP!)

LR: He's just helping her get

back into the ring before she
gets counted out.
 LR: What a knockout
HL: Yeah, you would
punch! She's ready to
try to sell that B.S.
be pinned.

HD: Gabby's not going

for the pin. She's going
for an armbar!

HL: That hurts just

looking at it.

HD: It's
over.
HD: The match is
HD: You
over, Gabby!
can let
go now!

The winner of this

match...GABBY
STUKOFF!

Gabby Stukoff making a And Mrs. Stone

I'm glad I'll be way over here when
very ferocious debut. taking notice with
those two meet. Well Heat, we are
an icy look in her
down to the final four of our
eyes.
tournament. Let's talk about this.
 Joining us for our analysis is our
own Carmen Soza.

Let's start with you, Li. Now you believe

Now each of us has four different
that of the final four, Frostbyt will be
predictions on who will merge as the
victorious. Why is that?
International Heavyweight Champion.

Not only is Frostbyt powerful, but he has Yeah, he'll help by cheating.
something the others don't: a great manager. Seems to be the only game plan
“Green” Cecil Green has successully guided him managers have around here.
so far and he will help him win this tournament.
That is a great insult to “Green” Cecil
Green and myself!

You're lucky my brother isn't here to hear

you insult me and his friends!

Well you bring his (BLEEEP!)

over here and I'll say it
again!

Now Heat, take it easy. You'll

have your chance.
 Carmen, you believe that Taipan
Taylor could come out the victor.
Why?

Taipan bet the house and won on that

In his match with Neanderthal, Taipan match, but if does that again, it could cost
could have taken a DQ win, but he him. This is why I think Octane will take it
wanted the pinfall. Taipan wants to all. He's rested, he's aggressive, and he
show everyone that he's the best. won't show any mercy.

Which brings us to your prediction, Heat. The

underdog, Theseus, who like Taipan, is dealing How can Theseus get past the
bigger and injury-free Octane?
with injuries.
 Theseus doesn't want to throw down with
Octane. If he does, he'll get squashed. But if Only time will tell. Let's get back
he can get Octane to WRESTLE him, I believe to ringside.
he can pull off a win. We know he's beaten big
guys before.

The following match is scheduled for Coming down the aisle, from Valley of the
one fall...and the winner will be Kings, Egypt, weighing 285
guaranteed a title match for the
pounds...NEFREMAAT!
International Heavyweight
Championship!

HD: As the announcer said, HL: Whoever the champion

whoever wins this match is gonna be, he's got his
will be in the same position work cut out for him.
as El Fin, who earned his
guaranteed title shot last
time.
 LR: His opponent, from Temiscaming,
Nefremaat Quebec, Canada, weighing 420
has
pounds...LUMBERJACK JACQUES!
something
better than a
title. He's
royality.

HL: Nefremaat may think

he's royalty, but I think he's
about to get a royal
(BLEEEP!) whippin!

LR: You're the one who said

size doesn't matter if one can
wrestle.

HD: Referee Chris

Culler sporting that
black eye, courtesy of
Tatendo “the Lion”
Chubuya.
HL: What was Lumberjack Jacques Ladies and gentlemen, the referee is
talking to the Ref about? Whoa, ordering Nefremaat's minions back
the Ref is going to the announcer. to the locker room!

If they fail to comply, the

referee will award the match
to Lumberjack Jacques!

HL: You gotta love LR: That is outrageous! HD: Regardless,

Jacques. Brawn and The minions haven't Nefremaat is ordering
brains! broken any rules being his men to evacuate.
out there.
 HD: This
match is
underway.

HL: I think Nefremaat HD: Didn't quite work out.

tried to intimidate
Jacques with those big
muscles of his.

HL: Now that those LR: The match

four losers are was already
gone, we should fair. The
have a fair match. minions did
nothing.
HL: Yeah, like they did
nothing wrong when
your brother was
wrestling Theseus.

LR: Nefremaat and his friends were

just out there to offer me advice on
how to deal with Theseus.

HD: Beautiful
back body drop!
HD: Lumberjack Jacques going for an
avalanche, but gets a knee.

LR: Great
takedown by
Nefremaat.
 HL: Wake up, LR: Count faster, referee!
ref! His feet are
on the ropes!

HD: A close call, but Jacques

HL: And what
managed to kick out.
do you mean,
“count faster”?

LR: I don't have to

explain myself to
you.
HL: Oh, that's right. Your
brother tried that same
(BLEEEP!) last time with
Theseus.

LR: You dare

question our
honor?

HL: I'm not questioning HD: Let's

it. I already know. concentrate
on the match,
folks.

HD: I think Lumberjack Jacques

LR: He started it. is going for that flying double
ax-handle!
 HL: Yeah! Got him right
between the eyes!

HL: Hit the HD:

showers, Where's the
Nefremaat! referee?

HL: What are they doing back out

here? Don't make me come down
there and whip all your (BLEEEP!)
again!
 LR: They're obviously here
to bring back Nefremaat's
throne backstage.

LR: I call it a
HL: Oh really?
minion protecting
Then what do
his Pharaoh!
you call this?

HL: No, it's called

“being in denial.”
HL: Yeah, good for you, HD: Uh oh. The referee sees
Jacques! Knock his Jacques with that metal cane
(BLEEEP!) out! in his hand. And Nefremaat
making an accusation.

HL: Wait, that ain't LR: The referee

right! Jacques never calls it as he sees
used that cane! it!

The winner of this match, as a result

of a disqualifcation...NEFREMAAT!
 I'm Annie
Gentlemen... Trutorian, Vice-
President of IWW.

I wanted to talk to you about

Why did you call us in?
your injuries.
 NO! TATENDO “THE LION” CHUBUYA
WILL NOT BE FORCED OUT OF THIS
BUILDING!

And you have a

You have two cracked ribs. cracked femur.

IWW recommends that we have Forget it. Deadset.

Octane and Frostbyt fight for the
title and when you two are healed,
you'll each be guaranteed a title
shot.
 IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO TAZE
TATENDO “THE LION” CHUBUYA!

If you proceed to wrestle, IWW will

not be held responsible for any
permanent injuries sustained.

If I go down, I want it to be Same here. All I want is

cause I lost, not because I Nefremaat and his stooges
bowed out. barred from ringside. You
saw what just happened out
there.

Ok.
 THE CABS DO NOT ACCEPT ERITREAN
MONEY! TATENDO “THE LION” CHUBUYA
NEEDS AMERICAN DOLLARS!

Folks, I am next to There is no “could be,” lady. This IS the

who could be the International Heavyweight Champion!
International
Heavyweight
Champion.

The tournament is not over yet, Mr. Green.

Your man still has two more matches
before he is crowned the champion.
 Frostbyt, up next Taipan Taylor, you seem to have
for you is Taipan trouble seeing the writing on the wall.
Taylor. You are a wounded animal in the
middle of the elements. And I am the
elements.

Are you at all

worried about Mr. Mr. 80s is in hiding after
80s coming after what we did to him. He is
you? the past. Taipan Taylor is
our future.

Taipan Taylor will be beaten. He will He will be Frostbyt!

be humiliated. He will be traumatized.
This match is scheduled for one fall.
Coming down the aisle, with his
manager, “Green” Cecil Green, from
Ross Island, Antarctica, weighing
285 pounds...FROSTBYT!

HD: Heat, Li, let's

concentrate on And his opponent. From--
calling the match
this time.

I told you to use that solar-powered

microphone I gave you! I catch you without it
next time, I will knock you the (BLEEEP!) out!
 HD: There he is,
...um...his oppoent, from with taped ribs,
Hopevale, Queensland, thanks to Tatendo
Australia, weighing 308 “the Lion” HL: Don't
pounds...TAIPAN TAYLOR! Chubuya. worry, he's
ready.

HD: Oh,
there's that
giant
kangaroo. I
think he
was
suppose to
come to the
ring in that
like last
time.

LR: My brother
never needed
these dumb
gimmicks.

HL: I don't think Taipan

needs it either.
 LR: Apparently, he
does. He's a
gimmick wrestler,
unlike my brother.

HD: Oh, Frostbyt slaps him HL: That got

right in the face! Taipan hot.

HD: And
now HD: Frostbyt
Taipan sending him off
with a the ropes.
headlock.
 HL: Great counter! Taipan hooking
the ropes, preventing a dropkick by
Frostbyt.

HD: Taipan grabs HD: What's he got

Frostbyt's feet. in mind?
 LR: Cheap shot!

Come on, Frostbyt! Go for the HL: He can't go for

mid-section! the mid-section,
Green. He's too
busy get owned!

LR: Frostbyt will make a

comeback and win. He's HL: Oh, you
already proved that, want to go there
unlike you. again?
LR: You're the HL: That was
one who lost one match. I still
in the first got a long way
round. to go.

LR: If you want a

long career, you
better stay clear of
my brother.

HD: Cecil Green pulls

the rope and Taipan HL: I plan on staying clear of your
brother, Li. He's not big on
goes tumbling out! deodorant.
 LR: What
Stay in there! Take
did you
the count-out
say?!
victory!

LR: You're
lucky my
brother isn't
here!

HL: You heard me!

You want back in the

ring? You're dumber
OOOWWW!
than I th--
 LR: You better grovel for
forgiveness right now!

HL: I'd LR: If my brother

rather lick a was here, you'd
gas station be licking that
toilet. toilet!

HL: Then you go

get your brother,
lady!
 HD: Guys,
let's
concentrate
on--

LR: He's insulted me! He's

insulted my brother! He
needs to grovel!

HD: Heat, HL: You

just let it go. want me
to grovel?
 HD: No, I just
want us to call
this match.

HD: Oh! Taipan went

for a backslide and
Frostbyt counters it!
 HL: And
Taipan
made a
counter of
his own!

HL: The one-

eighty
piledriver!
HL: One! HL: Two!

HL: Three!
NOOOOOOO!

The winner of this

match...TAIPAN TAYLOR!

HD: Taipan
Taylor is in the
finals!

HL: Yeah! So
much for your
prediction, Li!
 That's it! I've had it! I don't
need this!

You have disrespected me for

the last time!

Oh, go eat some boiled

grass, (BLEEEP!)
You really are Southern I hope you haven't bitten
quite the off more than you can chew.
diplomat, hospitality.
Choi Ru is one tough
aren't you? customer.

Open up, I do not take orders

Nefremaat. from peasants!

We peasants have already

suspended one wrestler today. Shall
we make it two?
 What?

I want you and your For what reason?

men to leave the
building. Theseus has an
important match
coming up and
he's got enough
to worry about.

What does that have to do with me? Very well. My business is

almost done here anyway.
Don't play dumb.
Leave or we revoke
your title match.
 My Pharaoh, you
were victorious!

A metal cane to the head should

Let the punishment
not be the cost of my triumph. fit the crime.
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of
Coming down the aisle, from Carson City,
the following contest will face Taipan
Nevada, weighing 310
Taylor in the finals for the
International Heavyweight pounds...OCTANE!
Championship!

HL: What
could the
benefits
possibly
be?

HD: I wouldn't want to

be a member of
Nefremaat's club right
now.

His opponent, from Athens, Greece,

weighing 228 pounds...THESEUS!

HD: I don't
know. All I
do know is
this man
could be
wearing the
gold in a
very short
time.
HD: There he is, Theseus, coming
down the aisle very slowly.

HL: He's wrestled

twice while
Octane has only
wrestled once.

HD: There's the bell and

the tie-up.

HL: Theseus off to a

good start with an
armbar.
 HD: Octane
reaching for
that top rope.

HD: He's got it.

Now Theseus
needs to break
the hold.

HL: Octane with a HL: And follows with a headlock,

sucker punch. but this could be a mistake.
 HL: See, Theseus is
HL: And being smart. He's
Theseus making it a wrestling
reverses into a match.
hammerlock.

HD: Theseus
preventing Octane
from reaching the
rope.

HD: An elbow to the face

and knee to the gut and
Octane is back in control.
 HD: Octane
missing the
clothesline.

HD: And
Theseus with a
high cross body.

HL: Ooh, and

Octane turns it
into a slam.
 HD: No,
HD: Two... Theseus with a
kick out.

HL: It's gonna

take more than
a slam to beat
Theseus.

HD: Uh oh! I
think Octane is
going for C8
H18!

HL: Theseus gets out of it.

HL: What did you call that move?

HD: C8 H18. That's what Octane
calls that devastating finisher he HL: Weird.
used on Volcano.

HD: Theseus
going into a
high roll slam.

HD: Going
for the
cover...
 HD: Hooks
the leg...

HD: No, Octane

gets the
shoulder up.

HL: Theseus
has got a front
face lock.
What's he
gonna do?

HL: Cradle
suplex!
Beautifully
executed!
HL: He HL: Two!
may get
him!

HL: Like I said Hal,

HD: Another Theseus is making this
close call. about wrestling and he's
got the upper hand.

HD: You might be

onto something,
Heat.
HD: Uh oh, the
referee caught
in the crossfire.

HL: Theseus checking HD: A Pearl

on the referee. I think Harbor by
he wants to-- Octane!

HD: He's going

for C8 H18
again!
HD: He got
him!

HL: What is
Octane doing?
Why isn't he
going for the
cover?
 HD: Looks like
Octane may
be celebrating
too early.

HL: Oh look! Theseus

HL: That kind going for a small
of cockiness package!
could cost him
the match.

HL: Two!
HL: One!
 HD: He looks
furious.

HD: Octane within a hair

of being beaten!

HD: He's not RRRRR!

fooling around
anymore! RAAAGH!

HD: C8 H18!
HD: The ring may
break in half!

HL: Octane
hooking the
legs tight.

HL: Three.
 The winner of this
match...OCTANE!

HD: Octane
victorious. It's
him and Taipan
Taylor for the
Championship.

HL: Oh come
HL: Theseus gave a real on! Why?
valiant effort. I hope--

HD: Octane just blew out Theseus's
knee and now Theseus writhing on
the mat.
Folks, unfortunately, we're at the end. But
next time, we will crown the International
Heavyweight Champion. For Heat
Lightning, I'm Hal Dhuwan. We'll see you
next time.
IWW SUPERSTARS
from

Consumer note: paint on wrestling figures peels easily, which will give the impression of nudity. May
not want to buy for children.