Alexie Walker

EN 102

Response Essay

5 February 2021

TTYL . . . Or Not

Relationships can be formed and ended without ever looking the other person in the face

or hearing his or her voice. Merely a few decades ago, this would have seemed outlandish,

impossible even; today, it is more common than ever. Sherry Turkle, Professor of the Social

Studies of Science and Technology at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, describes a

new dynamic between people and the internet in her article “No Need to Call.” She discusses

how the internet has affected communication through several examples from her own life. She

then goes on to claim that people would rather have more control of their conversations by using

text, email, or another form of instant messaging, often at the expense of close, meaningful

connections (373-91). Turkle accurately argues that written communication provides a sense of

control, saves emotional and social drainage, and devalues meaningful relationships when used

for serious discussions.

Phone calls do not offer the same opportunity for methodical scripting and planning in

everyday conversations like texting or emailing do. Turkle herself writes, “[Y]ou have a chance

to write yourself into the person you want to be and to imagine others as you wish them to be . . .

a telephone call can seem fearsome because it reveals too much” (374). In other words, Turkle

believes that texting safeguards participants in a way that phone calls are lacking. When

communicating over text, the opportunity arises to reword, revise, and edit; portraying oneself
exactly as desired is more achievable when not talking in real-time. Situations in my personal life

have also solidified this claim. When talking to people that I am unfamiliar with, I choose to

communicate over text or email. It eases my anxiety over whether I will say the right thing or

come across in the right light; connecting this way provides added reassurance. Using instant

messaging platforms can also ease other forms of social anxiety.

Not only can text communication be strategically planned out, but it also relieves many

social pressures. Audrey, a feature in Turkle’s article, gives her own opinion on instant

messaging by asserting, “I can answer on my own time, I can respond. I can ignore it. So it really

works with my mood” (377). Audrey is insinuating that having the option to engage in certain

conversations on one’s own time can save emotional drainage and ensure that boundaries are not

crossed. For me, getting overwhelmed with lots of social interaction--in person, on FaceTime, or

just over the phone--is a common occurrence. When my social battery is running low, putting

conversations on the back burner can be quite a relief. Doing this prevents excessive stress, and

when I choose to respond, I know I will be in the right headspace to not project my social

fatigue. However, text communication is not the answer for all discussions.

While it does seem more convenient, text communication is not the place for weighty

conversations, and when used too often, can seem rude. Turkle confirms this by quoting Audrey

again, who says, “[T]hings happen online that ‘should happen in person’” (379). Here, Turkle

and Audrey are explaining that it is often easier to have hard conversations online, hiding behind

a screen. This informality feels disingenuous to real relationships and devalues the connection

that could be made face-to-face or even over the phone. I think it is too commonplace nowadays

for kids to maintain a majority of their relationships online. In almost every high school
relationship, the assumption that it was initiated on a messaging app called Snapchat is usually

the truth; furthermore, when relationships end--platonic or romantic--it all goes down online. I

have a close friend whose serious boyfriend broke up with her over text; this made her feel that

their relationship was not as meaningful as she previously thought, purely because he did not

take the time to respectfully end things in person.

With the realms of technology broadening, people’s preferred methods of communication

are changing as well. As preferences morph, relationships look different than they did 30 or 40

years ago when a phone call was the only long-distance option. Sherry Turkle describes this

scenario in her article “No Need to Call” and furthers her claim with many real-life examples.

She is correct in saying that communication behind a screen allows participants to be perceived

how they desire, prevents social fatigue, and negatively affects meaningful relationships when

used for important subjects. As communication tools continue to change, expectations and

preferences in relationships will change drastically as well.

 Work Cited

Turkle, Sherry. "No Need to Call." ​They Say I Say with Readings,​ by Gerald Graff et al., 3rd ed.,

New York, W.W. Norton and Company, 2015, pp. 373-91.