2015-02-06-RAS - Day One 002 - Driver States - State Control-RH Intro

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David:
Okay, so we've talked about the reptile brain right? And we've got to understand that driving everything
we do is this inherent need to satisfy those drives. So anything, anything that we can put, that we can
augment within ourself that satisfies and signals to the reptile brain that we have those ta-, those
qualities is gonna ca-, create what I call passive attractors. There's attributes and certain things that we
can begin to do that cause people to go into a state of attraction. That start to shift the frame from this
to maybe this or even to this right? (sniffs)
David:
So what we're going to do is we're going to talk a lot about approaching. We're going to talk a lot about
the three magic questions protocol. We're also going to share with you what I call my six stages of cross-
contextual influence. Which to me, um, if you understand the six stages and the tools within them, you
can walk into any environment and just put the whammy on people. And I like to use that, even though
you don't, you, there's actually two parallel-, you have that six stages I'm talking about, and then you
have the, the, the attraction-specific stuff which is the three magic questions, the seven stages,
push/pull, the, the, the attributes of the classic romantic hero.
David:
When you integrate them, now you're just going to be Alpha wherever you go. Right? The ability to
control the frame is going to be important too. And I, I attribute what I call the four-fold meta frame
which is that whole idea that you're the prize in any situation. That was actually Swing Cat who uh, who
created that concept of that powerful meta frame. I'll also teach you some very powerful body language
skill sets that will allow you to dominate a frame, and it will just set the frame. Okay. These are all very
simple. They're all very simple but they're skills so you can learn them in theory. But if you don't actually
do them, they're not going to help you. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
David:
Okay. Um, so where's my, my markers?
Speaker 2:
[crosstalk 00:02:13] reading about weight lifting you've got to go.
David:
Yeah? You've got to do it. All right. So let's talk about real quick the seven stages. And I'll, what I'll do is
like, during a break or during lunch, um, I will send you guys a link to download ... I'll have a lot of this,
the manual stuff, on PDF. I'll just send you a link and you can download it right to your hard drive or
whatever you're going to do. Uh, if you really want a hard copy, you know, give me a day or two and I,
I'll go print some stuff out for you.
Speaker 2:
Can I just ask you a quick question...
2015-02-06-RAS - Day One 002 - Driver States -St... (Completed Page 1 of 23

12/04/16)
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David:
Sure.
Speaker 2:
...to go back to something before the break.
David:
Speaker 2:
I don't know if, if you had stopped or if I, I, missed it. You mentioned the three moves that we'd ...
David:
Oh yes, I'm sorry. Thank you for that.
Speaker 2:
Playful is one.
David:
Playful is the first one. And I think playful is really um, the one we need the most. (talking in background
I gotta tell yeah, um, every time I teach a meet up, I spend the first 25-30 minutes getting people's,
getting the stick out of people's butts. Because they're stressed out, they take themselves way too
seriously. Uh, and you shut yourself down. You shut yourself down. You cut yourself off from the
resources that make you attractive when you're too fucking serious.
Speaker 2:
Let me ask you because I, I, that's when I sometimes I think that, you know, that's one of my strengths,
you know. I'm, I'm 46.
David:
Speaker 2:
And I'm playful and I'll self-describe myself as, I'm a fucking child.
David:
Speaker 2:
(laughs) Right? Is there a line between being playful or too playful or playful venturing into immature for
a, a 46 year-old? Or how do you kind of keep that temper playful but not ...
David:

12/04/16)
I'd have to observe you in the field to en-, and, and, the way you really do it is you calibrate the
responses that you get right? Um, every now-, and one of the things that's really cool uh, and even, even
Josh talks about it is this concept of opposition of opposites. What does that mean? That's anytime you
can embody two paradoxical traits at the same time, you cause people to become, to pay attention to
you and to become absorbed in you.
Speaker 2:
That's interesting.
David:
Right, so if you're like, let's say you're extremely ugly. Right, but you have this melodious Barry White
voice and you speak and all of a sudden...
Speaker 2:
Right.
David:
Right? I'll ge-, I'll tell you a guy who exemplifies that. He's a very, very well-known attraction and, and
sexuality expert. David Shade. David's a good friend of mine, he is an ugly man. He looks like Golem.
Speaker 2:
(laughs)
David:
But if you ever hear David speak, if you ever hear David speak, he has this very deep, very Russian, "I'm
David Shade." Right, and his big thing back when, when he first started, he, he got all, he got laid like a
rock star through phone sex.
Speaker 2:
Hmm?
David:
He would talk to these women and he had that deep, resonant, mellifluous voice and they would just
get all wet. And just, that was it. Right? And, and, and scientifically, they actually tested this. Women
select men with deep, resonant voices for one-night stands. This is an attribute that we can all...
Speaker 2:
Son of a bitch.
David:
This is an attribute that...
Speaker 2:
Son of a bitch.

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David:
Son of a bitch, that's right, right. As a rule, men with deep, resonant voices are seen as more dominant,
more authoritarian, and therefore higher social value, higher social status. Right? James Earl Jones. How
many women get wet when they see Darth Vader? Right? Not so much when they see Anakin Skywalker
right? He doesn't have it. He's cute, he's attractive but he's kind of wishy-washy isn't he? He's kind of,
kind of effeminate right? He kind of embodies what a lot of people are that, almost metro sexual. Anakin
almost embodies that metro sexual kind of energy. Which is not the classical male archetype that
women want.
David:
Harrison Ford. Pretty much every character Harrison Ford ever played, Han Solo, Indiana Jones, two best
ones I can think of. Right? Women still get wet whenever they watch those movies or they think about
them.
Speaker 2:
David:
One of the, one of the sneaky tricks that you can, you can play with is to tap into socially programmed
archetypes. Many times when you see me, and I'm not, I'm not dressed this way today, but many times
you see me walking, going through the world, I have a fedora and an aviator, a bomber's jacket on. And
I'm tapping into the Indiana Jones archetype. Why? Because it matches an aspect of my persona that
I've developed. The whole idea is that when we're talking about personas and tapping into archetypes,
and we will, we'll talk about them, is, we have to find the archetypes that resonate with us. We have to
like who we are right? And that's the whole concept of personal branding.
David:
Who, who are you? Who do you want to be? What are the archetypes that, that most profoundly
resonate with you that you want other people to experience or feel? Right? These are things about, and
again, this isn't a game but it's also [inaudible 00:07:34] a game. Um, did you guys hear my story about
ca-, captain Jack the acupuncturist? Do you guys remember that story? Okay, I'll ...
Speaker 2:
That was vaguely familiar but maybe not.
David:
Oh, I've, I've, I've so-, I've told it many times I'll tell it to you again but not right now. Um, playful is the
ability to just go out and have fun and make life a game. Not the game that Neil Strauss writes about but
everything is an adventure. Right? Let's just see what happens kind of a thing. Right? The next attribute
that we want to start to look at is um, triumphant.
David:
And I'm giving these to you kind of in the order that I think um, well actually, technically, on a more
practical level, if I were to give you them in the order that would be most fundamental, it would look like
this. It would be triumphant, curious, and playful. Okay. Why triumphant? Well the first thing we need

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to understand is, when we have that feeling of being victorious of being triumphant, we automatically
take on the physiology of someone who's dominant. Someone who's a winner, someone who's alpha.
We are far more likely to take an action on something that we want when we have those feelings in our
body. Okay.
David:
When somebody wins something their testosterone increases. Testosterone is the achievement
hormone. Estrogen is the empathy hormone. Okay? So you have T, versus E. We need to balance these.
Too much T, you become a jerk. Which, by the way, is also attractive. Why? It's dominant.
Speaker 2:
(laughs)
David:
Too much E and you become an emotional tampon. You become the friend zone. You become the
buddy. You become, "Oh you're just like my brother." Blah. Right? You become a, a girly-man. Okay?
Speaker 2:
(clears throat)
David:
If you find that sweet spot, you're in the romantic hero zone. Okay. Why? Because a romantic hero
embodies the characteristics of strength, assertiveness, relentlessness, dominance, all the alpha, primal,
primitive, masculine, warrior traits combined with the ability to be gentle, to be sensitive, to perceive
what's going on with somebody and to, to take care of them. Does that make sense? The problem that
we're having right now is that there's way too much E in our society.
Speaker 2:
No kidding.
David:
Okay. It's in our water, it's in our televis-, it's in our, it's in our shows, it's in our society-, everything.
Everything that's, that we're getting hit with is putting more and more estrogen into our system either
directly or indirectly. Our diet is doing it okay. You guys have heard of this thing called gynecoma-, gyne-,
com-, gynecomastia right?
Speaker 2:
David:
Man boobs. How does that happen? It's because the, the diet that we're having causes our body to
transform testosterone into estrogen. There's only like a molecule difference between them. It's a very,
very easy transformation and so all of a sudden we become more feminine. Right? It's called andro-, an,
andropause. I went through it. Okay, when I was 70 lbs heavier, I was constantly on the border of

12/04/16)
andro-, I was, you have a, a, a, a apple shape to your body. You have man, you know, overly developed
mammaries. Right? It's not fun, but most of us, the average male today produces 25% less testosterone
than their grandfather's generation did.
Speaker 2:
[inaudible 00:12:05].
David:
Okay? When we have too much estrogen, we become a doormat. Okay? What women are [sorting
00:12:17] for, what they dream about, is the, is the balanced one. What they often wind up with is this
or this. Makes sense?
Speaker 2:
David:
Okay. So as a ... For our own sense of well-being, we need to engage in a lifestyle, okay it's not about
meeting women now, it's about a lifestyle. We need to embrace a lifestyle that allows us to develop
(taps board) our T. When we do that, we're going to be a lot less sensitive (sniffs), but a lot more, d-, but
a lot more assertive. All right? So I'm a martial artist so I, I spend a lot of time dealing with combat and
things like that and, it behooves us to take on some kind of physical activity where we have to assert
ourselves and it doesn't have to be martial arts.
David:
It could be volley ball, it could be hockey, it could be something, something ... Mountain climbing. Right.
Something where you have to pit yourself and challenge your limitations. Some people like to go
skydiving. Right? Those are the things that cause you to take on more T on a physiological level but they
also start to add depth and larger than life energy to you-, you're, you're whole being. And even though
it doesn't directly, you, you don't see how it directly effects your ability to attract. It powerfully directs
your ability to attract because it changes the way you move through the world. It changes your body
language. It changes your posture. Okay.
David:
And so, if you're a fucking accountant it doesn't really matter. If you can begin to engage in activities
that excite and fulfill you, you'll become more exciting and fulfilling to the people around you. Right?
You have a mission, you have desires. And this is one of the things that in, the classic romantic hero
embodies. They have a mission. They're moving through the world do-, following their passion, following
their dreams. They make no apologies for who they are and where they go. Classic dominant male
archetypes. If you want to tap into that stuff, we need to go back a couple generations.
David:
Elvis Presley, John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart. Okay, Rhett Butler, Clark Gable, the, the, the, not just the
actors per se, although we tend to associate them with those roles, but the roles that they play okay,
um, these are the, the, diagonal role, panty-wetting people that these women fantasize about. And even

12/04/16)
though the average person doesn't know who the fuck Humphrey Bogart is, it's scary actually, all right,
(laughs). I make a 70's reference and they go "Huh?"
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
David:
I'm like, "Oh shit." Right? The traits are still hard wired into their neurology and it's the traits that we
want to stim-, that we want to use to stimulate them. When we stimulate the meat suit enough, the
psychology takes care of itself. Because remember, we're communicating from the brain stem to the
neocortex. We generate feelings in their body, those feelings generate emotions, those emotions
change their perceptual filters and so the focus on the aspects of ourself that reinforce the frame.
Speaker 2:
This coincides with don't change your mind, change your mood?
David:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). Change your body. Body changes mood and mood changes psychology. This is
the secret all right. This is why at the beginning of that lecture on Monday night, I had everybody stand
up and stand a certain way. Because you can't change your body without changing your mind. They're,
it's a feedback loop, and you can do this in the field. When I brought Elaina up, okay, she missed that
half of the work shop. She came in late. I actually ran her through it during the break real quick. Right? I
don't know if I put the whammy on, I know she was, she was real enthusiastic but she's not the first
person to do that, right?
David:
Every time I've gotten a woman up on stage and run them through the seven stages, they've gone crazy.
They weren't as ebullient about it, but I'll, I'll, I'll pull out a video and I'll show it to you guys. First time I, I
demonstrated the seven stages, again, co-ed workshop. I pulled up a woman, a nice lady. I didn't know
at the time she was a marriage and family therapist.
Speaker 2:
(laughs)
David:
I brought her up, I had her stand right here and we walked through the seven stages and you see her
progressively going into the states. And as, and I'm, and I'm just [inaudible 00:17:16]. I'm talking and I'm
talking here, and every time I do, she's like ... and then there were a few times she says, "Jason, I do it
this way." And she starts helping me. And the audience goes, "This is the best chick flick I've seen in
weeks." Right?
Speaker 2:
(laughs)
David:

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All the women in the audience were cheering for her.
Speaker 2:
(laughs)
David:
Because they're feeling it too. Because they're hard-wired this way. All right? I'm not saying all these
other, you know 20-second attraction and you know, mystery man, they all work. But there's also a
natural process (sniffs) that we go through. All right, and if we understand it, we understand how to pay
attention, then we can make all that other stuff work better. Right? And we don't have to feel like we're
doing something weird.
David:
Now a lot of this stuff may be things you've heard before, and it may even seem a bit uncomfortable
because it's not familiar. It's not what you're used to. It's okay, it doesn't mean it's wrong it just means
it's like a new pair of shoes. All right? Nothing feels as good as your old pair, but your old pair is ratty, it
gives the wrong impression. So you need to try on that new pair of shoes, walk around in it and after a
while it softens up and it makes, and you make it your own. Right? This is what we're doing. So
triumphant energy, we need to find things where we can win. Okay.
David:
(mic interference) And if the physical, so much the better because that's the other problem that we
have. We're not in our bodies anymore. All right, you see the average physique of the average human
being? It's not, strong like bull, it's round like ball. Right. (laughs) (sniffs) And I'm, you know, I'm actually
starting my weight loss plan again today because I'm getting too heavy because of my lifestyle. But um,
(sniffs) these are the things that we need to pay attention to. Here's the, here's the sub part about
society. I don't make the rules I just report them. Attractive people get more stuff. All right.
David:
Fat lawyers seldom win cases. Okay? Attractive people get more stuff, they get less jail time, they get
promoted faster they get higher pay raises. They get scored higher on subjective questionnaires and
examinations by their opposite gender students and visa versa. Okay? I don't make the rules, I just
report them. David Deandro likes to say attraction is not a choice. That is true, but being able to
generate attraction is. You don't need to be hot to generate attraction, but you should be willing to
maximize the level of physical attractiveness that you've got. And it's not unethical to do that. The
system is already waiting to, to pay attention to that.
David:
The question becomes, attractive to who? And that's where you have to make some, some an-,
analytical decisions. Who are the people you're seeking to attract and what do they find attractive? How
do you match that mold and still be true to yourself? Right? And this is again, this is the thing you'll have
to decide. Okay? It's all about deciding who you want to be...
Speaker 2:
(sneezes)

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David:
... And doing what it takes to be there. But what are some, you know, Bob, off the top of your head what
are some things that you like to do that might fall into the category of testosterone-generating or things
that, that you enjoy?
Bob:
I like to hike.
David:
Hiking? Okay.
Bob:
Yeah, that's a big one. Um, I play guitar maybe?
David:
Guitar is good. Matter of fact, do you do a lot of online dating?
Bob:
Yeah.
David:
Do you want to double your, your response rate?
Bob:
Yeah.
David:
Put a picture of a guitar on your page.
Bob:
I have [inaudible 00:20:52].
David:
(laughs)
Speaker 2:
(laughs)
Bob:
(laughs) I'm not [inaudible 00:20:55].
Speaker 2:
So?

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David:
Do you have any video of you playing?
Bob:
Um no, I don't have that.
David:
Try one of those.
Bob:
Okay.
David:
If you can show yourself on stage playing for somebody, that'll up it for you. Because again, why, why do
musicians get laid so much? Any idea?
Speaker 2:
I don't know.
Bob:
That's a good question.
David:
Why?
Speaker 2:
I think part of it is just uh, they're out there doing things that other people would be very uncomfortable
doing. They're just kind of having that winning, leading ...
David:
Can you listen to a song without feeling something?
Speaker 2:
No.
David:
What did I tell you about women? What do women seek?
Speaker 2:
Feelings? Little spikes? Emotion spikes. (sniffs)
David:

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Okay, what are the topics that, that most sing-, most people sing about? Love, sex. The other part is that
most musicians are seen as being mysterious, rebellious, renegades. These things are inherently
attractive to the female psyche. It's part of the romantic hero psychology. Okay. Who are we to go
against millions of years of evolution? All right? If we want to be more successful ... if you, if you can
already play an instrument, you've already got some serious mojo in your corner. Use it man. Okay.
David:
You may want to grow out the hair a little bit depending on what your job is right? But again, the whole
idea is, what's the persona that we enjoy? That makes us feel good? Right? Not what we were taught is
acceptable. Right. How can we start to tap into that idea of paradoxical traits right? Maybe you're a
lawyer with a pony tail? All right. Maybe you're an extremely ugly guy with a beautiful voice? Maybe
you're an extremely hot guy that wears goofy shit. All right. Something that takes the edge off, that
makes you human, right.
David:
This is the, these are these paradoxes. The bad boy with the heart of gold. Han Solo. He's a fucking
criminal.
Speaker 2:
(laughs)
David:
He's a criminal right.
Speaker 2:
That's, that's good.
David:
Right, and Captain Jack Sparrow. He's a criminal. Right? And yet, women wet their panties every time
they hear Johnny Depp's voice. All right, because it's the juxtaposition. The paradoxes right. These are
the things that will cause women to go from what we call an as-, a dissociated state to an associated
state. We'll talk about those in a minute because there's basically four combinations of mental state that
a woman can be in in any given moment. Okay.
David:
Curious. Curious is like the sleeper. The interesting thing about curiosity is that the more curious (loud
noise) you become about something the less fearful you become. It's very hard to be afraid and curious
at the same time, right. The cool thing about curiosity is if you're genuinely curious about somebody and
you want to get to know somebody, they'll want to get to know you more. It allows you to ask questions
and fly under the attraction radar without signaling that you have another agenda. So becoming
intensely curious about everything allows you to learn more. It allows you to bypass filters that would
screen you out as being somebody trying to hit on them, it moves you forward in life.
David:

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These are what I call driver states. Someone who's feeling triumphant, victorious, like a winner, tends to
take more chances and do more things rather than sit back and wonder about it. They get in the game.
They're very achievement-oriented. People who are curious tend to want to satisfy that curiosity. When
we start getting into advanced conversational tactics with women, we talk about nested loops or open
loops. Open loops tap into this insatiable desire for closure that women get when you start a story and
the don't ans-, don't finish it.
Speaker 2:
(laughs)
David:
They get nuts.
Speaker 2:
(laughs)
David:
Okay? Very, very powerful tactics okay? Drivers to curiosity right? The more curious you make a woman
about you, and the harder she has to work to get that information, the more valuable she becomes in
your world. Or the more valuable you become in her world. This is another one of the reasons why a lot
of times, you go on a first date and we never hear from them again. Because you've given them your
fucking life story in the first, the first day. They know everything they need to know, need to know about
you and you're boring the fuck out of them. Right. But, if you can, if you play the, the three-second
attraction game that [inaudible 00:26:01] is promoting now which is not actually new. Um, although the,
the, the approach of, of three-second, talking in three-second bursts is kind of new, but the idea of
giving a woman a little bit of information and making her work for more, that's been around for a very
long time and it works extremely well because it adds to the scarcity. It adds to the aura of mystery
about you. And the more mysterious you are ...
Speaker 2:
(clears throat)
David:
... the more valuable you become. Okay? You can go down to the, you can go down to the corner store
and pick up any jug of milk or any, any, any brand of coffee you want. But you can only go to Starbucks
to get that white fudge double chocolate, skinny dip mocha latte with a side order of bacon. Right. It has
more value because it's not-, it's easy-, it's harder to get right? Same thing here. We'll talk about the
whole kind of hard to g-, I wish I had more women in today's class because this is where women get
themselves into trouble all the fucking time.
David:
When they start talking about playing hard to get and they wind up becoming unapproachable because
they don't understand what playing hard to get actually is. Or being hard to get. Um, for those of you
who may one day watch this, I'm going to explain it anyway.

12/04/16)
Speaker 2:
(laughs)
David:
Um, the problem that women have when it comes to the idea of playing hard to get isn't that it doesn't
work. Its' that they do it wrong. When people think about playing hard to get, they, they start to create
body language cues and be, and engage in behaviors that make people not want to approach or be
afraid to approach. Right. And that is exactly wrong.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I see it all the time. It's that untouchable ...
David:
Speaker 2:
... body language.
David:
Here's the irony of that, is that many times the women who are giving off those body language cues
aren't even actually trying to play hard to get. They're just deeply insecure and shy.
Speaker 2:
Those are the super hot ones.
David:
And the, the interesting thing is ... And I had to actually point this out in one of my attraction workshops
to some of the ladies was ... The body language of, uh, shyness or insecurity is almost the same as the
body language of being unapproachable and not wanting to be talked to. So there's people who like,
desperate for people to come and talk to them but they're afraid. They take on this body language
posture that to us, we don't realize they're afraid, we automatically assume they don't want to talk to
us. When in actuality they do they're just in, in, in themselves. So we have to teach the women how to
take on a more open body language and to invite approaches. But we're also going to have to teach
them to extricate themselves when the approach goes south. Which is the biggest fear that women have
and you guys need to understand this too.
David:
Women aren't afraid of being approached, they're being afraid if the approach is not going to go well,
and they're not going to be able to get out of there.
Speaker 2:
Eject.
David:

12/04/16)
Right? We're afraid that they're going to reject us on the spot because that's been our, our socialization
because we didn't understand the cues that the women were giving us. Right. And again, that's largely
because women are more socially tuned into non-verbal communication then men are. We're very
direct. We're very overt in what we do. Women, not so much and we're always painting the other side
with our brush assuming that they, they so things the same way that we do. It doesn't work that way. It
doesn't work that way. Uh, and I had to figure a lot of this shit out on my own, you know? Um, let's see
so, what was I just talking about?
David:
We were talking about playful, curious, I open looped myself. Um, (tsk, tsk) so you guys have got the
curious thing nailed down right? Approach versus approachable. Um, hard to get, I'll close that loop real
quick. If a woman wants to be perceived as hard to get, what needs to happen ... and this is actually also
doubly true for you. If you want to up your social status, up your value, this is what you do. You be
unaproacab-, or you be hard to get as well. The way it works is, other people need to see other people
hitting on you and try-, and competing for your attention. So someone who wants to be effectively hard
to get has to be seen as highly desirable.
David:
The way you're seen as highly desirable is how many people are fighting for your attention. It doesn't
mean you have to sleep with them. If you're a woman it doesn't mean you have to sleep with them, but
you do have to be in the company of people who see, see you as being valuable and are, are trying very
hard or perceived as trying very hard to get your time and attention. If you can engineer that, we call
that social proof, but it also goes to the concept of scarcity which leads directly to an amplification of
your social value. Does that make sense? So even if you just get a bunch of attractive friends and you
just go out and hang out with these girls who are friends. Don't sleep with any of them, you will have
more opportunities.
Speaker 2:
Sure.
David:
Okay. And what happens is ...
Speaker 2:
Girls make awesome wing men.
David:
Oh they do. And the cool thing is is that, and this is what [inaudible 00:31:10] recommends and I, I
completely agree, um, is you should make friends with the kind of women you want to date. Not, not
sleep with them. Make friends and hang out with the kind of women you want to date because A, like
attracts like. So they have friends that you can date. B. Because you're around the kind of women who
are going to put you in a hyper-attracted aroused state, you start to get desensitized to being around
those kind of women so you're automatically going to be more playful, more attractive and you're going
to know what hot buttons to press because that's your social circle. Right?

12/04/16)
David:
So the idea is, expand your social circle in a way that pulls the kinds of women that you want to attract
into your life. But here's the idea, you don't try to sleep with your friends. You sleep with your friend's
friends. Right? That make sense? Okay, and these are things that y-, again, little things, but they, they,
they lead to big, you've got a shoulder issue going on?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, a tetnis shot.
David:
Oh.
Speaker 2:
So it's just a bit sore but I'll get it.
David:
Okay.
Speaker 2:
It's fine. It's all right.
David:
So again, strategies and tactics. But again, in terms of being approachable, um, you want to, you don't
want to put off body language indicators that say, "Don't come over." You want to be seen, you want to
have lots of people trying to get your attention. [Mystery 00:32:40] talks about this. Style talks about
this, you know. One of the things, when I was very active in the swingers community and I was probably
the only one to take the mystery method into the swingers, the swingers club and start seducing couples
with it. Um, is one of the things that you can do at a social setting is take the dominant social role.
Become the uh, what's the word I'm looking for, the cruise director for the event. You know, you start
taking the initiative and start introducing people.
David:
Taking this person over to this person, introducing. When you do that, you start framing yourself as
someone who is socially adept, who knows a lot of people, who's connected. And that raises your social
status. Okay. It also positions you as being dominant and the leader. And again, dominance is deci-,
dominance and authority are the king of the mountain when it comes to installing or working with what
we call suggestibility which is the ability to influence. The queen is attractivity. There are four primary
drivers that cause people to comply to you and at the end of the day that's really kind of what we're
going for is we want people to do what the hell we want them to do. Right?
David:
Ideally this, this particular tech-, this particular direction is for the unique benefit of moist relief ...
Speaker 2:

12/04/16)
(laughs)
David:
... and beyond. Right. But um, at the end of the day, if people do what you say you get what you want.
Right? That's what it comes down to.
David:
The king of that is authority. The more authority a person-, that someone perceives you as having in
their world, the more compliant they become, even if they don't want to be. Steve P. Epitomizes this
when he terrorizes girls into orgasm. Right? Um, you don't have to go that far but the moment you can
be perceived as the authority in a woman's world, they will become increasingly compliant to direction
because A you've taken the frame and their natural submissive circuits are activated. So you can lead
them very, very f-, in fact, most of David Shade's clientele, and he's primarily in the sexual ... although
he's playing a lot more and more in the uh, seduction niche, is about teaching men to be more
dominant, in the bedroom specifically. And women want you to be more dominant in the bedroom.
They want you to tell them what to do and stuff like that.
David:
They want you to have enough uh, awareness that you can actually figure out if what you're doing is
working or not right, but at the end of the day, they don't want to have-, they're not trained to be
dominant in those contexts. Very, very few, okay. So the more dominant we can become, and balance
that with social awareness, the more effective we become. Okay. So you have dominance or authority,
attractivity, the next big player is called affinity. Affinity is the ability to connect. The ability to be seen as
the same as. Right. We have something in common.
David:
One of the big mo-, one of the big unconscious themes in female psychology is the, is fate. The idea of
fate. And it's so hard-wired into the female psychology that any time you tap into it, you start to
generate some level of attraction.
Speaker 2:
Really?
David:
Yes.
Speaker 2:
Is that a, a ... Not that I'm every guy, right, but, you know, I'm not one that subscribes to fate as, as ... do
most women subscribe to fate? Really? That's, that's key. That's good to know.
David:
And the way, and the way you compound the, the affinity principal ...
Speaker 2:

12/04/16)
Hmm?
David:
... From a, from a poor ... and this ... and affinity equals rapport by the way. And rapport in David's world
has three flavors. We'll talk about those because only one really gets you laid. The other ones kind of get
you in the friend zone or they get you ... you know, basically you're going to get friended or you, you
don't. Right?
David:
Um, but affinity ... and, and again, I'm going to reference my friend Josh because you know, Josh is the
[inaudible 00:36:59] of seduction as far as I know, I'm concerned. Um, he talks about it, and I think in his
course um, I think it's sexual arousal. Or sexual something or ... I don't know. He talks about this idea of
fate. The way it starts, if you're in a bar or a club and you find something that you have ... (phone
rings) ... you have, find something that you have in common with the person.
David:
Like maybe she's been to, maybe she's been to Amsterdam and you just got back from Amsterdam or
you've been to Amsterdam, and you say, "Gasp, it's amazing that..." or, or maybe she has a stamp
collection and you have a stamp collection. Or, or, even something as flimsy as, "Wow, you just got a
letter, I have a stamp collection. It's amazing, we both have stamps. It's like we were fated to meet." I'm
making a little bit of a joke but it can be that flimsy.
Bob:
Wow.
David:
This idea that something higher than yourself brought you together and you find something, some
commonality or some, "Oh my God. You're a human being with a pulse. So am I. We must be fated to
meet." Right?
Bob:
I just had a, a bizarre experience about this yesterday. Um, I met this woman online. I haven't met her,
met her yet, just communicating online and she had not replied to my first initiation to contact right? I
thought she was really pretty so I tried again and she mentioned "Guitar" in her profile.
David:
Bob:
So I said, "Oh, you, you're into electric guitar?" You know? "Well I play, you know, who are your favorite
guitar players?" And uh, and she says, "Yngwie Malmsteen." Right?
David:
Wow, who the hell knows who Yngwie Malmsteen is?

12/04/16)
Bob:
Right. Exactly, and then I go deeper with her and we started talking about like bands that I was into that
no women knows. Like Richie Blackmar's Rainbow, you know ...
David:
Oh yeah.
Bob:
[crosstalk 00:38:46] ... and all that. And, and just got her to like, she was totally was like [inaudible
00:38:50].
David:
Yeah.
Bob:
But here the other day, she was like, "Can we talk on the phone?"
David:
There yeah go. You did talk to her on the phone right?
Bob:
I did.
David:
Yes.
Bob:
We're going out tonight.
David:
There yeah go.
Bob:
Yeah.
David:
There it is. It only takes one thing. When we start talking about cold reading if we get to that point, the
same thing is going to happen. The same thing is going to happen. The psychology is cold reading is such
that you can be wrong about nine things and the one thing that you get right will cause her psychology
to flip so she will automatically find ways to massage the other nine to make them true. Okay. But cold
reading's kind of a, in my world it's not a gimmick, it's a tactic. It's a tool um, based on my ability of NLP
and observations.

12/04/16)
David:
But the whole idea behind cold reading is you give them 60% of one and 40% of the other and let them
pick which one they're going to pay attention to. That's kind of how it works. Right? But it's really the art
of observation. It's the art of paying attention. And then using what we call complex equivalents, taking
one thing that's [inaudible 00:39:48] that's true that's obvious for them and telling them what it means.
Just you know, assigning a meaning to it. Or actually, assigning two possible meanings and letting them
choose which meanings. That's really the structure of a cold read.
David:
Um, and it's also the understanding of pattern recognition. People who have a certain amount of kind of
dress are most likely to be this kind of a job. People who are born in this kind of a year, and that gets
really deep. That gets into professional-level of cold reading. People who were born in this year are most
likely to have the name, you know, Josh, Jenny, James, whatever because that was the most popular
name for that year. A lot of cold reading is about memorizing intent-, professional-level cold reading is
about memorizing lists. Pick up style cold reading is more about paying attention to what's obvious. And,
but things that are the [crosstalk 00:40:39] side of conscious awareness.
David:
So when we do affinity work, we're seeking sameness. But then we need to be same enough that we
have things that we can talk about. We have commonalities but not so same that we're boring. Right?
The last one of course is acquiescence. Now acquiescence is kind of the default. If you, there, there's a
small sub set of people out there who will just do what you tell them because you're a human being
with a pulse and you told them to do it. All right. If you have any of the other three elements, you will
get acquiescence. They'll just go along.
David:
If you have enough authority by itself, people will just do what you say. If you have enough attractivity,
or attractive ... attractivity is the field of attraction or the study of attraction. The ability to generate it, to
function within it and, and just make decisions on how to direct it. So, um, people will do what you say.
They will do it for different reasons. The dynamics of each change all right. Using authority in an
attraction context, the more knowledge you can demonstrate about someone's world without them
telling you, the more they will start to default to you as a leader, to an authority in their world, and they
will start to become more suggestible to you. All right. So be careful with that one. All right.
David:
And, and a non-attraction context, the more authority you exert the more compliance you'll generate.
And this is important to understand. However, depending on the context, you may not get, you may
wind up generating passive aggressive payback. People will comply even though they don't want to
because of the authority. They will feel compelled to do what you what you tell them to do but they will
find a way to get pay back. Okay?
David:
If you want to reference the psychology behind that, there was a guy who was a researcher I think it was
Yale or Harvard, I can't remember which, Stanley Milgram. Stanley Milgram, he would take people. He
wanted to measure the impact of authority on free will and he would take college students and he

12/04/16)
would bring them in and he would bring them into the laboratory under the guise that he was there to
study the effects of negative reinforcement on learning. Have you guys heard of these guys before.
Speaker 4:
This sounds familiar. Yeah, I have an undergrad in psychology and I think that was definitely a topic of
discussion.
David:
Okay. And so what he would do ...
Speaker 4:
The Milgram experiments.
David:
... yeah, the Milgram experiments were all about compliance to authority. So what would happen is, he
would bring these college students in. He would have a person behind a plexi-glass, a plexi-glass wall
strapped into what looked like an electric chair. And the, the student would be faced with a, a wall of
switches. And he was taught, the guy with the clipboard and a white lab coat would go, "Here's how it
works. You're going to ask a question and if they get it right, they're fine. Then you ask the next
question. If they get the question wrong you flip the first switch and they're going to get a small
electrical shock. And then for each question you get wrong you flip the next switch." And the, and the,
and the shocks would go from annoying to lethal.
David:
And, an overwhelming percentage of people would continue to administer all the way up to the
maximum lethal dose of electric shock no matter how much the person in the chair screamed and
begged for mercy just because a guy with a clipboard and a white lab coat told him to. Okay. In spite of
the fact that these people were undergoing intense psychological trauma from flipping the switch, they
still did it. Right. They could've walked out at any time. Okay.
David:
Authority is the king of compliance generators. If you create the perception, notice I didn't, it didn't have
to be legitimate authority, if you generate the perception of authority in a person's world, they will
become compliant. In a seduction context or in an attraction context it's no different. How do you
demonstrate authority in those contexts? Your body posture. Dominant people take up space. Both
physically, uh, vertically and horizontally. They speak in low-resonant tones. They demonstrate social
adeptness. Okay.
David:
These are things that are the embodiment of the classic romantic hero. When you walk through the
world in these characteristics and these qualities, you will automatically generate attraction in the vast
majority of women just by walking in the room. And they will fight it. And the more they fight it, the
more attracted they become. And you will see this many times. You will walk into, well, you might not
recognize it but, and I'll give you some really cool stories but, you walk into a room and you almost feel

12/04/16)
like this animosity with being, coming at you for no freaking reason. Right. When you feel that, what
you're feeling is attraction.
David:
Somebody is having an attraction response to you and they're fighting themselves. Okay. Many time, I'll,
I'll tell this story now. Back in my Darth Snider days, I was uh, dating, I was seeing this woman. A really
cool Jewish girl. Loved her. A lot as a matter of fact, and her, she had an older sister, Abby. Um, and
Abby was this, she was just this, she was just like, "You're such a douche," kind of energy all of the time.
And I looked at her and I was like, "I have done absolutely nothing to generate this." Right. She must be
attracted to me. And it was true. Abby was extreme-, there was a certain you know, women follow this,
even sisters tend to follow the same mold in terms of what they find attractive.
David:
So I actually wound up sleeping with both Abby and Jessie because the more she fought with herself the
more attracted she became. But what will happen many times is that inner turmoil will be, will be
directed at you as a way of kind of ... remember I said the woman, the girl walks across the, walks across
the, the playground at 5 years old to kick you in the shin? It's the same thing. She doesn't, she's not okay
with the fact that she's gena-, she's feeling attraction to somebody socially she's not supposed to feel
attracted to. She was, she had a college degree, she was a nurse, she ... I was this 20-something year-old
guy. I, I, you know, I was a martial arts instructor, therefor mentally inferior because she prided herself
on being very-, very intelligent. You know? And that's what will happen.
David:
Even though these women are very educated and very intelligent, they'll still have these primal circuits
that get activated and the problem with it is, they can't handle the fact that they're attracted to
somebody that isn't their intellectual equal. That doesn't have the same academic degrees. This is why
women are just such suckers for bad boys. Okay. The reason I'm telling you this is because this is
another one of those red herrings. Where we start to get this negative attention from somebody that we
didn't do anything we just showed up. And what I'm telling you is, that chances are what's being
directed at you is the result of an internal struggle that they're having.
David:
They're feeling attraction and there's a part of them that's trying to resist it. Either because of socially
programmed ideas or you remind them of somebody that they were attracted to in the past. Right? Well
guess what? Any attraction that is active can be leveraged. And if it's somebody that you want, play the
game. Spar with them because that's pretty much what happened between Abby and I. I would just bust
her balls and eventually I wound up sleeping with both of them at the same time. It was kind of kinky
right. But that's my, my point is is that, a lot of the things that we as men take at face value aren't what
they appear.
David:
And we need to understand this. Now I'm not saying that when a woman says no, she doesn't mean no.
Don't get that. But just understand that women spend a lot of time battling their primal drives with what
society has said is okay and what's not okay. All right.
Speaker 2:

12/04/16)
Yeah, you find some women have a tendency to sabotage their own seduction. They get in the way.
David:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). Yeah. This is why matching their template is so important because if you match
their template it's almost impossible for them to mount an active defense against it. Whereas if you do a
lot of these pick up techniques where you're going for key note early or you're, you're, you know, these
are things that can give them a little bit more of an ability to generate resistance. You don't need to do
that. If you just figure out a woman's code for getting attracted and give it to her she can't help herself.
If you take sex off the table, she'll put it back on. This is another big thing. The fastest way to turn a
woman on directly is to be indirect.
David:
Okay, her socialization is such that she is designed, she is programmed to run away from directness in
terms of sexuality, in terms of being told what to do and how to do it, she tends to be a little more
compliant and those are specs. But if you are coming across as somebody who isn't interested in
sleeping with her they go nuts. Because their whole frame is based around the idea that guys want to
get in their vagina. In my book I put it in a much more crass way. I say, "Women are turning to overvalue
their vagina." Right, and so are men.
David:
But then I go on to say, "Women are just like Doritos. Eat all you want, they'll make more." And it's true.
The irony is that, as hard as dating seems to be today, the people who embody the characteristics,
qualities and attributes that we're discussing and we're working on here, you're going to have a field day
because you walk into a room and everybody will notice you. The women espeically. They'll be subtle
about it and here's the other thing. The more attractive a woman is, the hotter she is, the more subtle
her attraction cues become. That's a self-defense mechanism. Because if she doesn't get subtle, every
penis in a 9-block radius is going to be knocking on her door and she doesn't want that she only wants
the socially adept guys. The guys who can perceive the subtle cues. The ones that can follow up on
them.
David:
So don't be surprised that if you go up to a woman who's like a 5 or 6, that you can calibrate that she's
attracted to you easier than if you go up to a woman who's a 9 or a 10. The social, the Darwinian social
side of things, or the social Daranism, pretty much pushes her to become more subtle. Now, once you
start stimulating attraction, her stress levels will go up and there will be significant indicators that tell
you something's going on. Certain things she'll be able to control, certain things she won't be able to
control. Pupil dilation's a big one. The more into you a woman gets, the bigger her pupils become. She
can't fake it. I know how to fake it but it's really hard. You have to actually generate intense emotional
states within you and maintain it while you're having a conversation to get pupils to dilate and stay
dilated unless you use eye drops, which makes it hard to see.
David:
So we've got the three basic states, triumphant, curious and playful. If you had to pick one, go for this
one, because that's just going to make you more successful in every context. Curiosity gives you the
ability to ask questions and become curious about the people that you're dealing with. When you're
dealing with people from a place of curiosity, they become more curious about you. Most of what we

12/04/16)
work with is dealing with either transferring the state we want them to have or through how we use our
body we cause them to go into a complimentary state. So if I want to generate attraction in somebody,
that's a complimentary state. I have to generate a sense of being attractive in me. That's a
complimentary state.
David:
But if I want somebody to be curious about me, I generate a sense of curiosity in myself about that
person and it will cycle through and they'll become more curious. And the curious person, the object of
curiosity becomes the scarce resource, it raises value. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:
It does.
David:
Okay. Oh duh, duh, duh. All right.

12/04/16)

2015-02-06-RAS - Day One 002 - Driver States - State Control-RH Intro

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