International Olympiad of Value System

Health & Wellness

Value System - Group II & III
Self Development: Key Measures
01. INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT VS EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT 01
02. CRITICAL THINKING & PROBLEM SOLVING 07
03. LEARN DECISION MAKING 16
04. MANAGING STRESS & ANGER 22
05. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
Success and Failures
29
Table
of
06. SELF AWARENESS – EVERYONE IS UNIQUE 36
07. INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 44
08. MANAGING REJECTIONS AND FAILURES 50

Content
Work As Self Transformation
09. GOAL SETTING – TRANSFORM YOURSELF 59
10. SELF CONTROL AND HABITS 66
Perspective In Changing Times
11. SAY NO TO DISCRIMINATION 71
12. OBSESSION WITH INTERNET 77
Global Value System – Japan
13. JAPANESE VALUE SYSTEM 83
14. TIME MANAGEMENT IN JAPAN 87
15. IKIGAI: SECRET OF HEALTH AND HAPPINESS 92
01. INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT(IQ) VS EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT(EQ)
1. There are Lotus flowers in a lake. The area covered by Lotus flowers doubles in size every
day. If it takes 50 days for the Lotus flowers to cover the entire lake, how long would it take for
Lotus flowers to cover half of the lake?
• 5 Days
• 10 Days
• 49 Days
• 39 Days
2. How many squares are in this picture ?
• 32
• 36
• 40
• 50

3. Which number should come next in the pattern?

37, 34, 31, 28, ___
4. The day after tomorrow is four days before Monday. What day is it today?
• Monday
• Tuesday
• Wednesday
• Thursday
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How many questions did you answer correctly?
The intelligence which you used to answer above
questions is measured with IQ, "intelligence quo-

IQ
tient”. The IQ is a measurement of your intelli-
gence and is expressed in a number. It can help
predict how well someone may do academically.

A high IQ score will mean higher reasoning and problem-solving abilities. The intelligence
quotient measures working memory, arithmetic ability, spatial ability and processing speed.

Some of us are born more cognitively intelligent than others. 50-80% of the IQ score is due
to genetics, meaning that overall genetics plays a bigger role in IQ. Remaining part of IQ is at-
tributed to the environment where nutrition, education, and health care play a big role.

The Flynn effect

IQ scores on intelligence tests worldwide are increasing 2-3 points per decade in the past few
decades. This is known as the Flynn effect. The reason of higher scores is increasing quality of
childhood nutrition, health care, and education.

Answers - 1. 49 Days 2. 40 3. 25 4. Tuesday

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Activity 1
Take an IQ test online and measure you IQ score. Just 2.2 percent of people have an IQ of 130 or
greater.

IQ classification table
IQ scale Interpretation of IQ score
130 and above Extremely High(Genius)

120–129 Very High

110–119 High Average

90–109 Average

80–89 Low Average

70–79 Very Low

69 and below Extremely Low

Interesting Fact – IQ test and World War I

US army used an IQ test named “The Army Alpha” to recruit soldiers during World War I.
Scores on the Army Alpha were used to determine a soldier's capability of serving, his job
classification, and his potential for a leadership position.

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 IQ scores of some famous people
Name Occupation IQ
Garry Kasparov Chess player 190
Isaac Newton Scientist 190
Albert Einstein Physicist 160
Bill Gates Microsoft founder 160
Stephen Hawking Physicist, mathematician 160
George Washington President 118
Muhammad Ali Boxer 72

You can see that a high IQ has a positive impact on an individual's success in life. However, this
does not hold universally and there are certain exceptions. For example, individuals with below
average IQs are not good at studying but they can excel in other areas that do not require that
much thinking e.g. in sports.

IQ is just one measure of our abilities and there are many other kinds of intelligence in addition
to intellect. One important type of intelligence is emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence (emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to understand, use, and manage
your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with
others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence helps you build stronger
relationships, succeed at school and work, and achieve your career and personal goals.

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 Emotional intelligence is commonly defined by four attributes:
1. Self-management – You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, take initiative
and follow through on commitments.
2. Self-awareness – You know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.
3. Social awareness – You have empathy. You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns
of other people.
4. Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, com
municate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

Self
Management

Relationship Emotional Self

Management Intelligence Awareness

Social
Awareness

IQ and EQ are not opposing competencies, rather separate ones. IQ is thought to contribute to-
wards about 20% to the factors that determine life success . A significant portion of the 80% will
be decided by the Emotional Quotient. Lets see the importance of this in an interesting story.
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 The Smart Dog
There was a very smart dog. One day, he got a little
adventurous. So it went deep into the jungle, where a
tiger saw it. The tiger had never seen a creature like this
before. He thought, “He looks like he’ll make a good
afternoon snack.” He growled and started coming towards
the dog. But this is a very smart dog. It wanted to run, but
it knew if it ran, the tiger would catch up in no time. He
saw a heap of bones nearby and started strutting around
saying, “Oh my god! These tigers make a real good meal.
Ha!” The tiger hesitated and stepped back. “Oh, this is
some kind of a creature that has tigers for a meal. And all
these heaps of bones.” He turned back and moved away.
A monkey sitting on a nearby tree saw this. He told the tiger, “He just fooled you. That’s just a
dog. I’ve been into the villages. He can do nothing to you. He doesn’t have the strength of even
one of your paws.” The tiger felt stupid. “What? He fooled me? Come, let’s catch him.” So the
monkey jumped onto the tiger’s back and they started running towards the dog.
The dog saw a monkey riding a tiger and coming towards it. It knew what had happened, but this
is a smart dog. He yawned and said, “Where is that monkey who I sent to bring a Tiger? It’s been
almost an hour since I sent him. Where is he?”
The Tiger heard this. He dropped the monkey and ran away as fast as he could.

Not everyone poor in academics is a failure. People need to identify their natural competen-
cies and nurture them.

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 02. CRITICAL THINKING & PROBLEM SOLVING
Latest technologies such as artificial intelligence, machine-learning, robotics, nanotechnology, and
3-D printing are driving the global economy.
One has to be able to deal with changes quickly and effectively. The ability to analyse information
and integrate diverse sources of knowledge in solving problems has become very important.
As per World Economic Forum, the top 10 skills needed in the year 2020 are-
01. Complex Problem Solving
02. Critical Thinking
03. Creativity
04. People Management
05. Coordinating with Others
06. Emotional Intelligence
07. Judgement and Decision Making
08. Service Orientation
09. Negotiation
10. Cognitive Flexibility
To be a leader, one needs to develop the skills of critical thinking and problem solving. These skills
can be developed by anyone. We will learn about these two skills in detail.

Problems should not be feared. Problem solving is educational and rewarding. Read the story
below and see how humour and creativity helped Mulla Nasiruddin solve a problem.

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Two wise men came to Mulla Nasiruddin's
village and challenged everyone to solve a
problem. Mulla Nasiruddin came forward
and the wise man began by asking, “How
many stars are there in the sky?” he said.
“As many as there are hair on my donkey,”
answered Mulla Nasiruddin. “What proof
have you got of that?” asked the wise man.
“If you don't believe me,” answered Mulla
Nasruddin, “count the hair on my donkey
and you will see.” The second wise man
was becoming annoyed with Mulla
Nasruddin and his answers, so he said, “You seem to know a lot about your donkey, so can you
tell me how many hairs are there in its tail?” “Yes,” answered Mulla Nasruddin. “There are exact-
ly as many hair in its tail as there are in your beard.” “How can you prove that?” said the other.
“I can prove it very easily,” answered Mulla Nasruddin. “You can pull one hair out of my donkey's
tail for every hair that I pull out of your beard. If the hair on my donkey's tail does not come to an
end at exactly the same time as the hair in your beard, I will admit that I was wrong.” The wise
man had no answer to this and Mulla Nasiruddin was declared the winner.

So be creative in solving a problem and and enjoy the fun it brings.

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CREATIVE THINKING
Creative thinking focuses on exploring ideas, generating possibilities, looking for many right an-
swers rather than just one. The creative person knows that there is always room for improve-
ment.

Creative thinking has following important parts-

Curiosity: Creative people are in the habit of asking “Why” and “What if”
Challenge: Creative people accept challenges and face them rather than run away from them.
Positive attitude: Creative people always remain optimistic in life and believe in the fact that ev-
ery problem can be solved.
Determination: Creative people have the ability to stick with their ideas.
Flexible imagination: Creative people think of several solutions to a particular problem.

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 Puzzles are a great tool to enhance creativity. These have been age old companions of human
beings and research has shown that they improve problem solving skills. Try following puzzles
to learn some creative thinking.

01. There are six apples in the basket. Six people each take
one of the Apples. How can it be that one Apple is left in
the basket?

02. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than

square ones?

03. A man is walking down the village road with a tiger,

a goat and a bundle of grass. Soon he arrives at the river
bank where there is one tiny boat that can carry him
and another animal or grass at a time. Here is the problem:
If left alone, the tiger will eat the goat. And similarly, the goat will eat the grass bundle. How is
he going to take all the three across the river safely?

04. An island is inhabited only by knights and knaves. Knights always tell the truth, and knaves
always lie.You meet two inhabitants: John and David. John tells you that David is a knave. David
says, “Neither John nor I are knaves.” Can you determine who is a knight and who is a knave?
Answers - 1.The last person took the basket with the last Apple still inside
2.Round covers cannot fall down a manhole, unlike square
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Higher Order Thinking Skills
To be an effective thinker, one needs to have analytical skills. Questioning is the key to analytical
skill as it enables us to develop knowledge. Questions are fundamental to Higher Order Thinking
Skills.

According to the famous psychologist Bloom, human thinking skills can be broken down into six
categories. It is known as the Bloom's Taxonomy. Higher order thinking skills are very important
to encourage students to think more deeply and critically and to solve their problems.
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think
we become.”-Buddha

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 Try to solve the following using the high order thinking skills
A chief of detectives had three likely candidates for a
vacancy in his department. To test their powers of
reasoning, he pulled out a red and black marker and
told them, “I am going to either make a red or black
mark on each of your foreheads. At least one of the
candidates will be marked black.
He then blindfolded the candidates and proceeded to
put a black mark on each of their foreheads. After he
removed the blindfolds, the three stared at each oth-
er for a few seconds, each seeing that the other two
marks were black, and then one of the candidates
said, “I have a black mark”.
How did the candidate arrive at this conclusion?

Answers -
If I saw two red marks, I would immediately jump up and say mine is black since at least one
is black. If I saw a red and a black mark, and the one with the black mark did not immediately jump
up and say, “mine is black”, then I could assume I do not have a red mark. Since both of these
candidates are smart, they must be facing the same situation as I, and all three of us have black
marks.
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 Fact or Fiction
We are flooded with information with the fast expansion of internet and social media platforms
like Whatsapp, Facebook and Instagram etc. It is not easy to differentiate between fact and opin-
ion.
There is so much of information around us that we may get fake information instead of facts
and that makes it more important than ever for students to develop critical thinking. We
must access and use information from trustworthy sources only.
In the given statements distinguish between fact and opinion. Discuss it with your friends to arrive
at a conclusion.

Statement Fact Opinion

Your tongue senses different tastes in different areas
T-shirts are called that because they were originally dyed
with tea leaves
Polar bears’ skin is black
The deepest part of the ocean is 35,813 feet deep
Smoking is bad for health
India has the most number of post offices in the world
A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue

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 Problem Solving
Problem solving skills are extremely important as these help us to deal constructively with prob-
lems in our lives. Brainstorming is an excellent way of solving problems. Brainstorming is a process
in which multiple viewpoints are put across. Different alternatives are discussed and shared to find
conclusion for a specific problem. The inventions around us are the results of problem solving and
critical thinking attitudes. There is an inventor in all of us and we can definitely contribute to the
existing list of inventions if we wear our thinking caps.
Making imaginative objects nurtures creativity as it helps create new things. Try to make
one object from paper and other things available at home. Creating objects gives a sense
of fulfilment and satisfaction.
Use only +,-, x, or ÷, to make the resulting calculations equal 21:
6 3 9 6 = 21
4 4 2 3 = 21
3 5 10 4 = 21
Here is a list of animals and the inventions they exemplify. Match the animal with the invention
bat parachute
armadillo tank
chameleon anesthetic
fish helicopter
flying squirrel suction cup
squid jet propulsion
hummingbird radar
scorpion camouflage
snake electricity
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Answers - Bat(5), Armadillo(6), Chameleon(8), Fish(7), Flying Squirrel(2), Squid(6),

The Farmer’s Daughter

Many years ago, in a small Indian village, a farmer owed a large sum of money to
to a moneylender. The farmer was not able to repay the amount. The
moneylender, an old and cruel man, wanted to marry the farmer’s
daughter. Hence he proposed a deal. He said he would put a black pebble
and a white pebble into an empty bag. Then the girl would have to pick one
pebble from the bag. If she picked the black pebble, she would become his
wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble
she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.
But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into the jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. The
moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the
sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them
into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.
The girl was in dilemma. If she picks a pebble now, her father will be saved from the debt but her life will be
sacrificed.
Thinking hard, she put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fum-
bled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other peb-
bles.
“Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be
able to tell which pebble I picked.”
Since the remaining pebble in the bag was black, it was decided that she had picked the white one. The Mon-
eylander had to forgo the debt of the farmer and the girl also got saved from marrying him.
The girl changed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one with her critical thinking.

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 03. LEARN DECISION MAKING
Lets start with interesting puzzles-
1. If these nine dots were printed on paper, how could you link all nine by drawing just four
straight lines – and without taking your pen off the page?

2.

3. Select one of the option in each block and explain the reason behind the selection-

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Answers -

You make decisions involving what you wear, what you eat and drink, which movies you watch,
which games you play and what music you listen to.
Decision Making involves understanding of different options and the effects these different de-
cisions are likely to have. In our life we do face times when we have to decide and take a call on
what to do!
“Decision making is a process of identifying and choosing the best alternatives based on
one’s own values and preferences.”

In order to achieve a target we need to decide what to do and then just do it. One of the most
powerful ways to be successful and happy is to learn good decision making and then to make
your own decisions.
It is a fact that nobody is perfect. We all make wrong decisions in life. But a smart person would
not repeat them in future. They learn from their mistakes. Due to ignorance, adolescents are not
able to understand the consequences of their decisions. After experiencing the consequences of
their bad decisions, they learn how to make better decisions in future.

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Steps for right decision making-
Think before you act: Nothing should be done rashly
without thinking about the results. Proper planning
should be done to accomplish what you wish. In this
way many bad decisions can be prevented from being
made.
Do not worry about small things: Do not get nervous
about the things that require small decisions because
these small things will not affect your life. Over
thinking can cause stress. Try to think about those
things which are important in your life.
List all the options or alternatives: Write down all the
options or the alternatives available for the decision to
be made. Quality time should be spent on this step so
as to judge the risks and rewards of each alternative.
Consider the consequences of the decision to be taken: Think about the persons who might be
affected by your decision. The consequences of the decision should be considered. So try to make
those decisions which are beneficial to both yourself and others. Also consider the good and bad
about your decisions.
Choosing the best one: The decision which is in your best interest should be selected.
Always keep in mind that decision making is a systematic process. It involves problem solving, crit-
ical thinking, creative thinking and self awareness.

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The Golden Advice
A king often went on hunting trips into the forest with his minister and servants. On one such trip,
he came across a sage who kept repeating, "My advice will be sold for a hundred coins of gold!" The
king thought, "What is a hundred coins of gold to me? If this sage's advice is good, I will be a better
man." So he went up to the sage. Giving him the gold coins, the king asked him for some advice. The
sage calmly took the coins and said, "O King, always remember this. Never do anything before think-
ing what its effect will be". The king's minister laughed and thought, "Ha! Such an ordinary thing and
it costs a hundred gold coins! What a fool the king is!" The king guessed what his minister was think-
ing. All the same, he told him calmly, "See that the sage's words are engraved in stone and placed in
my private chamber so that I can see them every morning and night". A few months later, one of the
king's enemies met the royal physician and bribed him with ten thousand gold coins to poison the
king. The royal physician was afraid to do something wrong, but the idea of earning so much so easily
was very tempting. He agreed to it. A few days later, the king fell ill. This was a golden opportunity for
the physician. He mixed the poison as if it were a dose of medicine and moved towards the king's bed.
Suddenly his eyes fell on the sage's golden words engraved in stone.

Never do anything before thinking what its effect will be.

The physician began thinking- if the king dies of poisoning, the guards will kill me. Of what use will the
gold coins be then? He threw away the poison and mixed the right medicine instead. The clever king
saw him doing this and demanded to know why. Under threat, the physician confessed the truth. The
king called for the minister and said, "The other day, when you heard the sage's advice, you laughed.
But see how useful it has turned out to be. Had the physician not seen the words, he would have poi-
soned me. I would have died and so would he. There would have been riots and the kingdom would
have been in grave danger." The minister had to admit the truth of the golden advice.
We should realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right ones.
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P.O.W.E.R. Model of Decision Making
P= PROBLEM
Step 1: Identify the problem.
O= OPTIONS
Step 2: Think of different things you can do and use them.
W= WEIGH
Step 3: Look at the good things and weigh them against the bad things of
every option you thought of to solve your problem.
E= ELECT
Step 4: Choose the best option.
R=REFLECT
Step 5: Think or reflect about what happened because of your decision

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At a friend's birthday party, your best friend was wearing a branded watch. You really liked it and
after coming home demanded the same from your parents, but they feel that they cannot buy it.
You are upset with your parents' response.
Reflect on the situation, analyse your parents 'point of view and then arrive at a possible decision
by using the POWER model.
Children often make quick judgments based on desire, especially when some unexpected situ-
ations come up, leaving them with little time to think about the pros and cons. Some of those
hasty decisions may involve cheating in school, skipping a class test, going somewhere which
their parents do not approve of.
All these bad decisions can lead to a loss of trust, low grades, disgrace and other reckless be-
haviour. Children try to explain their bad decisions by saying that everyone does it or what else
could they do.

“Remember that what’s right isn’t always popular and what’s popular isn’t always right.”

Smart decisions are the products of a creative mind and always take time. Learning to make
smart decisions help to avoid painful and embarrassing situations in life.
1. Decision making is an important Life Skill.
2. Decision making skill gives power to the learner to actively make decisions about the different
aspects in their lives and bear positive consequences on their mental health.

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 04. MANAGING STRESS & ANGER
Happiness is in balance. We all need to learn to balance our emotions to achieve true happiness.
There are so many emotions that overwhelm us during the course of the day. If we learn to man-
age and control our negative emotions, we can nurture the positive emotion of happiness.

Expressing our emotions effects all aspects of our lives. Try not to get overwhelmed,
things usually improve. If you do get overwhelmed – ask for help.

How to react when someone insults you - Learn from Buddha

Maybe, if someone insults you or say something disturbing to you, provoke you to react, you need
to manage your emotions at that point of time, to stop triggering a series of reactions. It is actual-
ly all about how you take it!
The Buddha, once he was sitting under a tree in a village and meditating. A lady came to Buddha
and starting abusing him. Buddha did not react. She continued to use abusive language but found
that Buddha was keeping silent. ‘I have said so much, but still you are keeping silent,’ she said.
Buddha offered a gentle smile and said, ‘oh, noble lady, if I give you something and you take it, to
whom does it belong?’ she said, ‘if I have taken it, it belongs to me.’
‘if you didn’t take it, to whom does it belong?’ he asked ‘if I didn’t take, it continues to belong to
you.’ Buddha smiled and said ‘I haven’t taken anything you told me.’
Even when others are rude to us, we have a choice either to absorb their behaviour and feeling
miserable or not receiving it at all.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else:
you are the one who gets burned.”
Buddha
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Anger is a normal and natural emotion and
it is not wrong to experience feelings of an-
ger.
All of us experience feelings of anger. Some
people experience it more intensely and
more often than other people. Find pos-
itive ways to express anger that are not
hurtful to others. Anger can appear wrong
when we express it in inappropriate ways,
such as using abusive language, violence.
Mood swings are common in adolescence
because of the physical changes. Avoid
making a big or important decision when
feeling very emotional.

Use the ACTS technique for managing your anger.

ACTS
A = AWARE of your anger signals
C = CONTROL your response
T = TALK about the situation in a calm, polite, and assertive manner
S = SOLVE the problem through a mutually agreeable plan of action.

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Circle the correct response for each question
01) If someone calls you a name you should:
a) Call them a name back.
b) Politely ask them to not call you names.

02) If someone pushes you in line you should:

a) Slap them in the face.
b) Look them in the eye, stay calm and tell them not to push you again.

03) If someone laughs at you for getting a bad grade you should:
a) Ask them to please leave you alone.
b) Call them ugly and stupid.

04) If someone grabs something out of your hand you should:

a) Punch them in the face and get it back.
b) Stay calm, look them in the eye and tell them to please give it back to you.

05) If someone wants to fight you for no reason you should:

a) Start the fight by hitting them first
b) Calmly tell them to leave you alone or you will tell an adult

Some “helpful ideas” for managing anger are:

• Talk it out with someone • Walk, jog, or run
• Count to 50 by 5's • Write about what made you mad
• Take a deep breath • Draw your feeling
• Listen to music • Play a sport
• Clean or organize your room
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The Blind Men Touching The Elephant
Once upon a time, there lived six blind men in a village. One day the villagers told them, “Hey,
there is an elephant in the village today.” They had no idea what an elephant is. They decided,
“Even though we would not be able to see it, let us go and feel it anyway.” All of them went
where the elephant was. Everyone of them touched the elephant. “Hey, the elephant is a pil-
lar,” said the first man who touched his leg. “Oh, no! it is like a rope,” said the second man who
touched the tail. “Oh, no! it is like a thick branch of a tree,” said the third man who touched the
trunk of the elephant. “It is like a big hand fan” said the fourth man who touched the ear of the
elephant. “It is like a huge wall,” said the fifth man who touched the belly of the elephant.
“It is like a solid pipe,” Said the sixth man who touched the tusk of the elephant.
They began to argue about the elephant and everyone of them insisted that he was right. It
looked like they were getting agitated. A wise man was passing by and he saw this. He stopped
and asked them, “What is the matter?” They said, “We cannot agree to what the elephant is
like.” Each one of them told what he thought the elephant was like. The wise man calmly ex-
plained to them, “All of you are right. The reason every one of you is telling it differently is be-
cause each one of you touched the different part of the elephant. So, actually the elephant has
all those features that you all said.” “Oh!” everyone said. There was no more fight. They felt hap-
py that they were all right.

The moral of the story is that there may be some truth to what someone says. Sometimes
we can see that truth and sometimes not because they may have different perspective
which we may not agree with. So, rather than arguing like the blind men, we should say,
“Maybe you have your reasons.”

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How do you usually behave in the following situations?
1. You have not done well in a subject at school.
2. You have been selected to represent your school in a debate and are not sure if you will be able
to win the trophy.
3. You need to change your school because your parents have been transferred.
4. You are very keen to be a part of the student council but do not make it.
5. Your favourite teacher has met with a serious accident and is unable to continue teaching in
the school.
6. There is a sudden class test.
You get stressed. All of us experience stressful situations in
life. There are healthy and unhealthy ways to cope with
stress. Sharing feelings with a person you trust is healthy.
Being optimistic can reduce half of one’s worries. Do not let
failures affect you, instead try again. De-stress a little and
take some time off. One can always do it better next time.
Learn to accept things that cannot be changed. Possessing
a good sense of humour and being able to laugh at oneself
is a desirable skill. One should work towards achievements
in fields that one is good at.
According to medical practitioners, 60% of all human illness and diseases are the outcomes
of stress. Acute stress could speed up the ageing process also. Stress may lead to drug ad-
diction, alcoholism, obesity, heart problems and other damaging behaviour.

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Sources of stress for students
Plenty of things can cause stress in the lives of the students such as
• Demands of parents
• Intense competition
• The need to excel
• Peer pressure
• Examinations
• Living up to society's expectations
• Heavy Curriculum

How to Cope with stress ?

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You cannot avoid stress, but you can handle it just like an eagle that knows how to fly higher
during a storm. An eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks. It will fly to
some high spot and wait for the winds. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will
pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it.
The eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds
that bring the storm.
All of us experience storms in our lives and when they come upon us, we can rise above
them by our determination and also faith in God. Storms will enter our lives and we must
find ways to learn from them to rise higher in life.

Write True or False for the following statements:

1. Only some people have stress. T / F
2. Different people react to stress in different ways. T / F
3. Coping with stress is an important skill. T / F
4. Stress can be controlled. T / F

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 05. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
A son and his father were walking in the mountains.
The son shouts, “AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!” To his
surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in
the mountain, “AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”. Curious, he
yells, "Who are you?" He receives the answer, "Who
are you?" Angered at the response, he screams,
"Coward!” He receives the answer, “Coward!” He
looks to his father and asks, “What's going on?" The
father smiles and says, "My son, pay attention." And
then he screams to the mountain, "I admire you!"
The voice answers, "I admire you!" Again the man
screams, "You are a champion!" The voice answers,
"You are a champion!” The boy is surprised, but
does not understand. Then the father explains, "People call this echo, but
actually this is how we communicate. In the process of communication you receive the response
that you give. If you say bad things you will get to hear bad things yourself and if you speak well
you get to hear good yourselves as well. People respect you if you also do the same.” So follow
"echo-principle" in life for better and effective communication.

Communication is “an exchange of facts, ideas, opinions or emo-

tions by two or more persons.”

29
Being able to communicate effectively is perhaps the most important of all skills. It is what en-
ables us to pass information to other people, and to understand what is said to us.
Communication, may be vocally (using voice), written, visually (maps, charts etc.) or non-verbal-
ly (using body language, gestures). In practice, it is often a combination of several of these.
Effective Communication means that we are able to express ourselves, both verbally and
non-verbally, in appropriate ways.
While the words that one speaks are important, how one says them and what one’s body lan-
guage express are equally important.
Albert Mehrabian, a pioneer researcher of body language in the 1950’s, found that the total
impact of a message is about 7 percent verbal (words only) and 38 percent vocal (including
tone of voice) and 55 percent nonverbal.

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SELF ASSESSMENT YES NO MAYBE
01. I am confident enough to speak in front of my school mates.
02. I take part in debates, declamation etc quite often.
03. I never interrupt a speaker while speaking.
04. I maintain a steady speed and tone of voice when I speak.
05. I try and keep my message short and simple.
06. I have a rich vocabulary.
07. I take notes when listening to a speaker.
08. I have a good command over my language.
09. I speak with correct grammar.

This is a self assessment scale, meant to be used only as an indicator.

Your answer in each column gives you an indication of your strengths as well as areas you can im-
prove on.
Effective Communication is the combined result of good listening, non verbal communication and
assertiveness.

Listening skills-
Listening skill is a very important component of effective communication. Good listening skill is a
combination of various skills. Asking questions and asking the right questions is an important indi-
cator of good listening. It also helps build and strengthen good relationships.
A 'listener' could show active responses like asking questions, making exclamations like
"wow" or respond by actions like nodding, smiling, etc.

31
Characteristics of a Good Listener:
• Sincere desire to listen
• Attitude- open and non-judgmental
• Acknowledges the speaker's feelings
• Faces the person squarely
• Keeps an open posture (avoid crossed arms)
• Maintains eye contact
Non - Verbal Communication
Any interaction that does not use words is called a non-verbal communication or communication
through body language. Different parts of non verbal communication are shown below-

32
Beautiful Communication
They were four in the Bombay city
tourist bus where I worked as a guide
to an elderly couple, a young man and
a girl. It was raining, the mike was
not working, the bus near-empty
and silent and then I realized that my
passengers were deaf mutes. As if she
had read my mind, the young girl
whose name was Lisa informed me
that she could talk and hear a little
while the others were totally deaf.
She would lip read me and explained
the sights of Bombay to her friends.
For all of them, it was their first visit
to India. I found it all unusual. The girl
would watch my mouth intently, then
with nods, smiles and quick and dexterous signs convey to the others what I had been telling
them. Soon we were 'chatting freely'. The older woman enquired about my family, and discussed
the art of wearing a sari. She also told me that she worked in a bank and her husband was a
teacher in a deaf and dumb school. Soon the trip was over. Lisa clasped my hands. The others
pointed out to their hearts and then to me. I was deeply moved. We had broken all the barriers
and communicated through the silence.

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Assertiveness
While communicating, we tend to get aggressive, passive or assertive.
"Assertiveness is the ability to express one's feelings and assert one's rights while respecting the
feelings and rights of others. Assertive communication is appropriately direct, open and honest,
and clarifies one's needs to the other person.” It is all about being calm but still being firm.
Individuals with aggressive behaviour are often driven by anger and employ tactics that are de-
meaning, abusive and disrespectful. Individuals with passive behaviour do not know how to
communicate their feelings and needs to others. Passive and aggressive communication style
damages relationships and diminishes mutual respect. Here is a common scenario with exam-
ples of each style of behaviour:

Scenario: Someone cuts in front of you while you are in a waiting line.
An aggressive response angrily say, "Hey you, no cuts, can't you be in the queue!”
A passive response would be to just let the person stay in front of you.
An assertive response politely say, "Excuse me, but I was in line”.

How to develop assertiveness

Listen carefully: Listen carefully to what others are saying. Do not interrupt them.
Maintain a direct eye contact: Maintain a direct eye contact with the other Person.
Use assertive body language: Show confidence. Stand erect and be relaxed. Practise assertive
body language in front of a mirror.
Do not say 'Yes' when you want to say 'No': Learn to say 'No' if someone is asking you to do
something that you do not want to do at that time. Be straight forward and honest.
Be firm: Use a firm but pleasant tone.
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Great Lesson in communication skill with a story
There once was a monastery that had very strict rules.
The monks took a vow of silence and no one was allowed to speak at all. There was just one ex-
ception to this rule. Every year, the monks were permitted to speak just two words.
After his first year at the monastery, one monk was summoned to his annual meeting with the
head monk. “It has been one year,” said the head monk. “What are the two words you would like
to speak?”
“Bed hard” said the monk.
“Thank you” replied the head monk.
One year later, the monk was again summoned to the head monk’s office.
“It has been one more year,” said the head monk. “What are the two words you would like to
speak?”
“Food awful” said the monk.
“I see,” replied the head monk.
Yet another year passed and the monk once again met with the head monk who asked, “What are
your two words now, after these three years?”
“I quit!” said the monk.
“Well, I can see why,” replied the head monk. “All you ever do is complain.”
The more you say, the less people will remember what you have said.
Had each of the three conversations between the monk and the head monk been a paragraph or
two, you would not remember it.
Same goes for your communications with others. If you want them to remember what you said,
aim to convey your message powerfully and with as few words as possible.

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 06. SELF AWARENESS – EVERYONE IS UNIQUE
A little boy went into a grocery store and started making a
call. The store owner listened to the conversation.
The boy asked, “Ma'am, can you give me the job of cutting
your lawn”? Woman (at the other end of the phone line)
replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn”. “Ma'am,
I'll cut your lawn for half the price of the person who is
cutting your lawn now”. Woman responded, “I am very
satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn”.
Boy offered, “Ma'am, I'll even sweep your garage for free.
Woman answered, “No, thank you”. With a smile on his
face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The grocery store owner, who was listening to all this,
walked over to the boy and said, “Son, I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like
to offer you a job”. The little boy replied, “No, thanks, I was just checking my performance at the
job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!”
This is being aware about self. It encourages you to be proud of your accomplishments and also
know your weaknesses.

Self Awareness includes recognition of ‘self’, our character, our strengths and weaknesses,
desires and dislikes. However good we are, we should always keep an eye on our perfor-
mance and keep on checking if there is any scope for improvement.

36
Here are some simple ways to increase your worth
• Nurture good feelings about yourself
• Applaud yourself often
• Speak positively to yourself about yourself
• Write down something you feel proud about, preferably at the end of the day
• Be open and honest with others
• Be assertive. Learn to say 'No' to others without offending them
• Walk tall and proud
• Dress smartly
Work on your strengths rather than focus on your weaknesses.
When you do this, you would feel better and more confident. When you feel more confident, you
can do everything better. Then applaud yourself once again. Try not to compare yourself with
others who are better skilled than you because you will feel miserable. And, if you compare your-
self with those who are inferior in talent or capability, you may become arrogant and overconfi-
dent. So try to compare yourself with yourself. This can be done by asking yourself these ques-
tions:

Am I a better person than I was?

For example athletes, practise with timers. They time themselves and keep running again and
again, trying to improve their own timings. They do not compete or compare their performance
with others. They race against themselves. So when you try to build your inner strength, com-
pare how you are now, how you were earlier and how you intend to be in future. Of course, it is
a wonderful idea to look up to those (for example great saints, leaders, teachers, patriots, artists,
writers, scientists, etc.) you admire, be inspired by them and emulate them. What is stressed is
the avoidance of making unhealthy comparisons.
37
We need to understand our worth. We all have certain strengths and we need to work more upon
them. We should always feel good about ourselves and at the same time we should also know our
faults and try to improve upon them. Be realistic, as each one of us has our own strengths and
weaknesses. Sometimes our biggest weakness can also become our biggest strength. Take, for
example, an inspirational moral story of a ten year old boy who decides to study Judo.

Weakness or Strength
There was a young boy who decided to study judo despite the fact
that he had no left arm. The boy began lessons with an old
Japanese Judo Master. After three months of training the master
had taught him only one move. The boy finally said, "Shouldn't I
be learning more moves?”
"This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you'll
ever need to know," the master replied. Believing in his teacher,
the boy kept training. Several months later, the master took the
boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won
his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent
became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by
his success, the boy was now in the finals. This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more ex-
perienced. The match resumed, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and
the tournament. He was the champion. On the way home, the boy asked his master “How did I win
the tournament with only one move?” “You won for two reasons," the master answered. "First, you've
almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense
for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm.” The boy's biggest weakness had become his
biggest strength.

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It becomes clear from the above story that instead of focusing on weaknesses, we must
think about our strengths. Do not give up your identity, otherwise, it will make you depend on
others to define you. At first, it may be rewarding, but these pay offs does not last for long. So
start identifying your strengths to lead a successful life.

Everyone is Unique
Always remember that “nothing and no one is
useless”. Never mock or make fun of anybody.
Feel good about yourself. Likewise, always make
others feel good about themselves. Since nothing
is useless and everything has a value in this
universe, you should respect everything and
everyone around you. This becomes clear from
the story given below. In ancient India, children
did not pay for their education. They lived in their
teacher's home for years as if they were his own
children and learned from him. Only on the
completion of their education, when it was time
for them to leave, they would have to give something he wanted and the students would happily
try their best to get it for him. This token gift is called gurudakshina. Once, some students ap-
proached their teacher at the end of their studies to ask him what he wanted as gurudakshina.
The teacher smiled and asked them to get him a bag of dried leaves. The students set off.
They were very confident that they would get it at once because they thought who would have
any use for dried leaves. They went into the forest nearby.

39
To their surprise, they saw no dried leaves. Someone had collected the leaves and taken them
away. They went to a farmer nearby and asked him for a bag of dried leaves. The farmer told them
that he had used all he had as fuel and had none to spare. Then they went to a merchant and
asked him for help. He said that he used the leaves by stitching them to make large leaf-plates.
He sold them to people as disposable plates. So he had none to spare. They saw an old lady and
asked her for some. She told them that she separated them everyday into different groups and
powdered them to add to the herbal medicines she made and she too had no leaves to spare. The
students returned and told the teacher that they were not able to get even half a bag of dried
leaves. Even dried leaves had so many uses! The teacher smiled and said, “The best gurudakshi-
na you can give me is the lesson you learnt today. Even a dried leaf has many uses. Then consider
human beings! Remember this and treat every person as if he or she is important to you. This will
help you to get along with everyone and make your life easy and happy”.

Always remember whether young or old, everyone is unique. Remember there is something
good about everyone that makes each one special. It will help you feel good about ourself
as well as others.
It is also very important that we should not judge a person on the basis of appearance or attri-
butes. There is much more to a person beyond the way he or she looks or carries him or herself.
The First impression may not always be the last or the final impression, it may not present the
real worth or value of a person. So do not judge a book by its cover! Do not be judgmental, do not
judge too quickly.
Everyone is important and has some worth. We should thus respect this diversity and value and
appreciate the worth of people around us. We should learn to appreciate others for their good
deeds and ideas.
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This will help us to:
• Live a better life
• Become a better person
• Enhance our skill of communication
• Motivate others to contribute more for the good of humanity

Man is a social animal and needs to feel appreciated. So we should appreciate others sincerely so
as to make them feel motivated and acknowledged.Here are different ways to appreciate others
for their efforts and good Deeds:
• Just talk to them
• Praise them in public
• Pat their back
• Give them some token of appreciation
• Present them a bouquet of flowers
• Motivate them to do more good deeds
• Saying them “Thank you” can also do wonders

“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world

than for bread.”
-Mother Teresa

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Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem
Having low self-esteem is disappointing. It can stop one from enjoying many parts of one’s life.
It can make one feel small, unworthy and full of fear and guilt. Some of the symptoms of low
self-esteem are:

Fears like – no one loves me, my friends do not like me, I am useless, etc.
Feeling of shame – I am not rich, I am dark, I am a curse on earth, etc.
Depressed feeling – That is feeling sad for a long time
Unrealistic expectations - feeling bad upon not achieving it
Body image problem – not liking one's looks in general
Belief that the world is a 'bad place' – finding everything unfair to them.

Tips to Improve Self-Esteem

Here are tips to improve your self-esteem:

1. Love yourself: Take care of yourself. Remember that you are unique
2. Do what you love: This would give you a good feeling
3. Write down your good qualities: This would remind you of your strengths
4. Develop a long and short term goal:This can keep you motivated
5. Have a sense of humour: Learn to laugh at yourself
6. Help others – both people and animals: This brings pure joy and satisfaction
7. Drop your negative friends: Because they pull down your confidence
8. Celebrate success: Celebration boosts self confidence and good feeling.
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'Please' is the most basic word of politeness. “Please” sugarcoats requests and softens com-
mands.
'Thank you' recognizes a person's kindness or consideration. It says ‘I appreciate your effort’.
'May I?' asks permission, because no one is entitled to someone else's time or money or genius,
or place on the bus.
‘I am sorry’ goes a long way. Most of the time, saying “I'm sorry,” immediately defuses argu-
ments, deflates rage, and inspires reconciliation.
'Excuse me' or ‘pardon me’ is a polite way of excusing yourself.

One needs to respect and appreciate people who are different from oneself, as in our diver-
sity lies our strength.

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 07. INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
Dying for a Friend
In the olden days, Syracuse was ruled by a cruel king called
Dionysius. No one in the kingdom dared to utter a word
against this King, for if they did, they were mercilessly put
to death. One day Phintias was sentenced to death as he
was heard speaking against the king, but he managed to
obtain permission to go to a neighbouring city to make the
last visit to his family, provided that Damon, his best
friend would remain in his custody. Damon gladly agreed
and remained in prison while Phintias set off to visit his
family. Finally, when the day of execution arrived, the amphitheatre was full of people. But Phin-
tias had not returned from the city. Damon calmly mounted the gallows, extremely happy to
offer his life for the sake of his friend. There were tears in the eyes of the people for they were
touched to see the love of this great friend. Just when the executioner lifted his arm, there was a
great roar from the crowd, “It's Phintias! He's come at last!” Phintias panted and pushed his way
through the crowd. “Thank God I am not too late”, he said. But Damon would not agree to come
down from the gallows. Each friend insisted on dying for his companion. Everyone was greatly
moved and so was the king Dionysius. The people started to request for a pardon. Dionysius glad-
ly granted Phintias pardon and set him free. This is what true friendship is.
A relationship is a connection between individuals such as parent-child relationship. Some
relationships are more important than others. It is important to remind the special people in
our lives why we think they are special. This helps strengthen bonds, trust, communication
and interpersonal skills.
44
Harry Stack Sullivan is remembered as the father of the study of interpersonal skills. His exten-
sive study of relationships in human lives led to his belief that life is a web of interpersonal rela-
tionships. He used it in treatment of patients by studying their interpersonal relationships with
others.

Ancient Indian Teachings About Interpersonal Relationships

Indian saint-philosopher Bhartruhari has defined a nine dimensional grid for interpersonal rela-
tionship skills. He lived at least two thousand years ago. He is believed by some to be the elder
brother of King Vikramaditya of Vikram – Betaal fame.
Lets us understand what are the segments of people with whom a person can have interpersonal
relationships during his lifetime?

दाक्षिण्यं स्वजने दया परिजने शाठ्यं सदा दुर्जने |

प्रीतिः साधुजने नयो नृपजने विद्वज्जनेश्वार्जवम् ||
शौर्यं शत्रुजने क्षमा गुरुजने कान्ताजने धृष्टता |
येचैवं पुरुषाः कलासु कुशलाः तेष्वेव लोकस्थितिः ||
Daakshinyam swajane daya parijane shaatyam sada durjane,
Preetih saadhujane nayo nrupajane vidvajjanescharjavam;
Showrym shatrujane kshamaa gurujane kaantajane dhrushtataa
Yechaivam purushah kalaasu kushalah teshveva lokastitihi.
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1. Close relatives and friends (Swajana).
Dealing with Swajana is to be with generosity and not curt or cut-and-dried approach. These
are people with whom one needs to have lifelong relationships.
2. subordinates(Parijana).
Interaction with Parijana would be founded on the values of compassion and kindness.
3. Having adverse or hostile behavior to him and society (Durjana).
Be careful and handle Durjana with sharpness and harshness.
4. Saintly or benevolent in nature (Sadhujana).
Sadhujana group of persons are to be treated with reverence and devotion. These are people
who do not aspire anything for themselves and live for the welfare of others.
5. Positions of authority (Nripajana).
Due diplomacy and obedience should mark interactions with Nrupajana or people in authority.
Authority is to be respected for maintaining order in society.
6. Scholars and erudite persons (Vidvajjana).
Vidvajjana deserve to be treated with deference and respect. These are the people who com-
mand respect wherever they go; there is no better way to interact with them.
7. Enemies (Shatrujana).
Shatrujana or enemies are to be faced with valour and courage. Dealings have to be on equal
footing and without compromising self respect.
8. Elders and guides in life (Gurujana - गुरुजन).
Patience would be the hallmark in dealing with Gurujana or elders.

46
Family and Stranger
On my way back from school, I met a stranger. And I
said, "Oh, excuse me please". He said, "Please excuse
me too; I wasn't watching for you”. Both of us were
very polite. After saying goodbye, we went on our
way. But at home a different story is told, how we
treat our loved ones, young and old. I reached home,
threw my bag on the couch. My mother came in and
said, "Pick up your bag and keep it on your study
table". I ignored what she said. I went to my younger
sister watching television, snatched the television
remote from her hand and pushed her aside. She fell down and started crying. My mother came
running inside, "What happened?" While pointing towards me, my sister said, "He pushed me
and snatched the remote from my hand" I immediately replied, "I just took the remote and she
is cooking up stories". But my mother was adamant and said, "Say sorry to her, she is hurt". "Oh
it was all her fault, she watches so much of cartoons, she could have given me the remote when
I asked her and you also favour her all the time", said I and left the room. Later that day, while I
was doing my homework, my sister stood beside me very still. When I turned, I nearly knocked
her down. "Move out of my way", I said with a frown. My sister walked away, her little heart bro-
ken. I did not realize how harshly I have spoken. While I was lying awake in bed trying to sleep, a
small voice came to me and said, "While dealing with a stranger, you use common courtesy, but
the people you love, you seem to abuse. Look on the study table, you will find a card there.That
card was made by your baby sister. She drew and coloured it herself. Your sister stood quietly
not to spoil the surprise, and you never saw the tears in her eyes.”
47
By this time, I felt very small, and now my tears began to fall. I quietly went and knelt by her bed
and said, “Wake up, little sister, wake up”."Is this the card you made for me?” My sister smiled,
"I thought I should say sorry and tell you that you are the best brother. I knew you would like it
and you can watch television whenever you want to.” I said, "Sister, I am sorry for the way I acted
today. I should not have pushed you that way.” My sister said, "Oh brother, that's okay. I love you
anyway.” I said, "Sister, I love you too, and I do like this card, especially made by you”.

It is important to have friends and friendly relationships in one’s life. It seems easy to make
friends, but maintaining friendship needs a strong bond which cannot be easily broken. A
strong bond of friendship is not easily created. Friendships cannot grow on their own.

How to be a Good Friend

Give a fair amount of time to your friends so as to understand them properly. This is necessary
to know what kind of a person is your friend and you might also realize that the person who you
want to be friends is a worthy friend. A bond of friendship is essential because friends are the
pillars we can lean on. They are special and irreplaceable.

Treat others the way you want to be treated

This is the essence of good relationships. We all yearn to be treated with love, kindness, compas-
sion and acceptance. Relationships flourish when we treat one another with kindness.

48
Gratitude instead of complaints
To maintain good relationships, we should have an attitude of gratitude and try not to complain
too often because complaints create stress. On the other hand gratitude creates healthy rela-
tionships.

Sharing is caring
Best relationships are based on sharing. Sharing creates harmony and balance in a relationship.

LEARN TO SAY “NO”

Some interactions may be negative and cause us to feel hurt/sad. We should talk about this to
our parents/close friends and find ways to deal with them appropriately.

“An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound
your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.”
-Buddha
Many of us have such friends who ask for favours very frequently and have little regard for
what's on your plate. They try to flatter by saying, “You are the one who can do anything”. You
need to say “NO” to such friends of yours who try to take undue advantage of your good nature
and inability to refuse.Learn to refuse or say “NO” to remain productive and to minimize stress.
So try to exercise your right to say “NO” even when your best friend is involved. A true friend
will understand. You do not have to try to please your best friend to keep your friendship alive if
your friendship is open and honest. The best way to say “NO” and in a gentle manner is by using
phrases such as “Wish I could, but I can't”; “I know this is important to you, but
there's no way”; or “thank you for asking, but I have to say NO”.

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 08. MANAGING FAILURE AND REJECTIONS
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small
opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for
several hours as it struggled to force its body through that
little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It
appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could
go no farther. The man felt sympathetic on seeing the
butterfly struggle so much. He decided to help it. He took
a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the
cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a
swollen body and small wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expect-
ed that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body. It
didn’t happen! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body.
It never was able to fly. What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the
restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening
were nature's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings. So that it would
be ready for flight once it became free from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are also needed in our life. They develop our strength. Life
without obstacles and struggles would cripple us and we will not be able to progress. We
would not be as strong as what we could have been. And, we could never fly.

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Success and Failure
We learn by experimenting, evaluating, accepting and taking action again. That’s the whole per-
sonal development process. As you can see, at the core of it it’s no secret of success, but rather
the secret of failure. Failure is the highway to success.
Tom Watson Sr. said, “If you want to succeed, double your failure rate”.
If you study history, you will find that all stories of success are also stories of great failures. But
people don’t see the failures.Let me share someone’s life history with you.
This was a man who failed in business at the age of 21; was defeated in a legislative race at age
22; failed again in business at age 24; overcame the death of his sweetheart at age 26; had a
nervous breakdown at age 27; lost a congressional race at age 34; lost a senatorial race at age
45; failed in an effort to become vice-president at age 47; lost a senatorial race at age 49; and
was elected president of the United States at age 52. This man was Abraham Lincoln. Would you
call him a failure? He could have quit. But to Lincoln, defeat was a detour and not a dead end.
All success stories are stories of great failures. The only difference is that every time failed,
they bounced back. This is called failing forward, rather than backward. You learn and move
forward. Learn from your failure and keep going.

In 1914, Thomas Edison, at age 67, lost his factory, which was worth a few million dollars, to fire.
He said, “There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burnt up. Thank god we can start a
new”. Thomas Edison failed approximately 10,000 times while he was working on the light bulb.
Setbacks are inevitable in life. A setback can act as driving force and also teach us humility. In
grief you will find courage and faith to overcome the setback. Ask yourself after every setback:
What did I learn from this experience? Only then will you be able to turn a stumbling block
into a stepping stone.
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How to Accept Failure
Certainly all individuals want to be a winner in every
competition that they participate in and in all aspects
of life in general.

• Talk about how you feel over a loss. Just share your
feelings with your parents or someone close to you.
• Never criticize or blame yourself for a particular
error. Ask yourself what you had learned from that
experience.

Accepting failure is one of the best things that you can

learn. Always remember that there is always a lesson
learned when losing and what is important is that you
tried and you should not lose hope. You learn by
doing. You see what you did wrong, when and how, and start to fix it.
Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four-years-old and did not read until he was seven. His
parents thought he was "subnormal", and one of his teachers described him as "mentally slow,
unsociable, and adrift forever in foolish dreams". He was expelled from school and was refused
admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. He did eventually learn to speak and read. Even to
do a little Mathematics. He became one of the greatest scientist ever.

Do not let failures affect you, instead try again. De-stress a little and take some time off.
One can always do it better next time.

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The Greatest Gift
Man, of all creatures, is physically the most ill-equipped in this world. He cannot fly like a bird,
can be killed by a tiny insect, cannot outrun a leopard, cannot swim like an alligator, cannot
climb the tree like a monkey, doesn’t have the eye of an eagle, nor does he has the claws and
teeth of wild cat. Physically, man is helpless and defenceless.
But nature is reasonable and kind. Nature’s greatest gift to man is the ability to think. He can cre-
ate his own environment, whereas animals adapt to the environment. Sadly, very few people use
the greatest gift – the ability to think – to its full potential.
IF YOU THINK
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost;
It’s all in the state of mind.
The man, who wins, is the man who thinks he can.

REASONS FOR FAILURE – WHY WE DON’T ACHIEVE EXCELLENCE

1.Unwillingness to take risk
Once someone asked a farmer if he had planted wheat for the season. The farmer replied, “No,
I was afraid it wouldn’t rain”. The man asked, “Did you plant corn?” The farmer said, “No, I was
afraid of insects eating the corn”. Then the man asked, “What did you plant?” The farmer said,
“Nothing, I played it safe”.
Many opportunities are lost because of indecision. The person who never does anything makes
no mistakes. However, he doesn’t realize that not doing anything is his biggest mistake.

53
2.Lack of persistence
When problems seem insurmountable, quitting seems to be the easiest way out. More people
fail not because they lack knowledge or talent but because they quit. The total secret of success
lies in two words, persistence, and resistance. Persist in what must be done and resist what ought
not be done.
3. Lack of priorities
When we don’t have our priorities right, we waste time, not realizing that time wasted is life
wasted.
4. Looking for shortcuts
There is a story about a king who called his advisers and asked them to write down the wisdom
of the ages so that he could pass it on to future generation. After a lot of work, the advisers came
up with several volumes of wisdom and presented them to the king. The king called his advisers
and said that is too long, people would not read it. They had to condense it. The advisers went
back to work and came back with one volume. The king said the same thing. They came back
again with one chapter and then one page, and the king said the same thing still until they came
up with one sentence that satisfied the king. He said that if there was one piece of wisdom that
he wanted to pass on to future generations, it is this one sentence: “There is no short cut to suc-
cess”.
5. Not learning from the past mistakes
People who do not learn lessons from history are doomed. Failure is a teacher if we have the right
attitude. Wise people learn from their mistakes – wiser people learn from other people’s mis-
takes.

54
6. Inability to recognize opportunity
Opportunities come disguised as obstacles. That is why most people don’t recognize them. Re-
member the bigger the obstacle, the bigger the opportunity.

7. Fear
Fear can be real or imaginary. It makes people do strange things and primarily comes because
of a lack of understanding. Fear leads to anxiety, which in turn leads to irrational thinking, which
actually destroys our solution to the problem.
Failure is not the worst thing that could happen to someone. People who don’t try have failed
before attempting. When infants learn to walk, they keep falling; but to them it is not failing so
they get up. If they got disheartened, they would never walk.

8. Lack of discipline
Lack of consistency is poor discipline. Discipline takes self-control, and avoiding distractions and
temptations. It means staying focused. Steam dose not move the engine unless it is confined.
Consistency takes discipline and is very important for success.

9. Blame the luck

People fail because they get into a project with no dedication or determination. They lack cour-
age, commitment, and confidence. A man bought a race-horse and put him in a barn with a big
sign, “The fastest horse in the world”. The owner didn’t exercise the horse nor train it to keep
it in good shape. He entered the horse in a race and it came last. By inaction or not doing what
should be done, people fail and they blame luck.

55
Luck favors those who help themselves
A flood was threatening a small town and everyone
was leaving for safety except one man who said,
“God will save me. I have faith”. As the water level
rose a jeep came to rescue him, the man refused,
saying “God will save me. I have faith”. As the water
level rose further, he went up to second storey, and
a boat came to help him. Again he refused to go,
saying, “God will save me. I have faith”. The water
kept rising and the man climbed on to the roof. A
helicopter came to rescue him, but he said, “God
will save me. I have faith”. Well, finally he drowned.
When he reached his Maker he angrily questioned,
“I had complete faith in you. Why did you ignore my prayers and let me drown?”. The Lord re-
plied, “Who do you think sent you the jeep, the boat, and the helicopter?”

It takes action, preparation and planning rather than waiting, wondering or wishing, to ac-
complish anything in life. Good luck is when opportunity meets preparation. Without effort
and preparation, lucky coincidences don’t happen.

56
How To Overcome Failure
Failure happens in everyone’s life.
It is unfortunate that in societies obsessed with success and achievement, failure can be made to
feel like the worst thing that could ever happen to a person. The reality is that failure is common-
place but so is overcoming it and pushing through to more successful endeavours in the future.
There is always something to be learned from the failures.

1. Remain calm.
Whatever you’re feeling about a failure, don’t lose your composure over it. Don’t take your an-
ger out on others. Just do something focused and energized to distract yourself from the initial
intense feelings until they calm.

2. Take your time.

It takes time for the emotions to heal. This time is better spent going over how to do it better
next time and building up your resilience.

3. Don’t obsess about what others are thinking. Allow each failure to serve as an opportunity to
strengthen your determination in the face of criticism. This is a far more positive than giving in to
believing the often thoughtless things other people can say.

4. Write down what you’ve learned from the experience; great for focus and review. Failure can
help you discover your best self. Failure is a signal that you’re willing to move on and discover
new talents about yourself

57
5. Try Again
Dale Carnegie once said that it was essential to “develop success from failures. Discouragement
and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.” Persistence is the source of success
for the majority of people on this planet. Overnight successes are rare; they are usually people
who have been trying and failing and trying again many times over.

Winston Churchill, the famous Prime Minister of UK, failed sixth grade. He was subsequently
defeated in every election for public office until he became Prime Minister at the age of 62.
He later wrote, “Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing, great or
small, large or petty - never give in. Never, Never, Never, Never give up.”

58
 09. GOAL SETTING – TRANSFORM YOURSELF
Everybody wants a gold medal. Few people want to train like an Olympian.

Goal setting is not only about choosing the rewards

you want to enjoy, but also the efforts you are willing
to put in.

What is Goal Setting?

• Without goals, it would be like driving a car with
no clear destination.
• Goals help one to concentrate, work hard and
achieve.
• Believe that "YOU CAN" and "YOU WILL" reach
yours goals.

Why Goal Setting Works ?

Goal setting is effective and often critical to success.
1. Goals energize performance through the motivation.
2. Goals motivate people to persist in activities over time.
3.Goals direct people’s attention to relevant behaviours and away from behaviours which are
irrelevant.

59
What Skills Does Goal Setting require?

Planning

Time Self
Management Motivation

Planning
The old adage ‘fail to plan means plan to fail’ is applicable to successful goal achievement.
Through proper planning, we can prioritize and maintain focus on the task at hand.

Self-Motivation
Without the desire to achieve, our attempts at goal setting will fail.

Time Management
Time management is a useful skill. If we do not properly consider the timescale required to at-
tain a goal, we will inevitably fail.
60
The Eisenhower Box: Effective Time Management
Eisenhower was the 34th President of the United States and his most famous productivity strat-
egy is known as the Eisenhower Box or Eisenhower Matrix. Eisenhower’s strategy for taking ac-
tion and organizing your tasks is simple. Using the decision matrix below, you will separate your
actions based on four possibilities.

1. Urgent and important - Tasks you will do immediately.

2. Important, but not urgent - Tasks you will schedule to do later.
3. Urgent, but not important - Tasks you will delegate to someone else.
4. Neither urgent nor important - Tasks that you will eliminate.
You can plan “How should I spend my time each week?” or “What should I do today?”
after classifying activities in one of these four categories.
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Mistakes & Setting Goals
If we are not committed to our goals, goal setting will not work. General mistakes in goal settings
are -
1. Goals are not written
2. Goals are too many
3. Goals are too big
4. Goals are not specific

GOAL SETTING - GOLDEN RULE

If you are unsure of the goal-setting process, the S.M.A.R.T. rule offers a way to ensure
your goals are the best they can be.
S is for Specific
It’s important to be as specific as possible when setting goals. What do I want to achieve? How
will I get there? When should I have achieved this goal by?
M is for Measurable
Goal should be quantified in some way to make it easy to track your progress. “I will read 10 pag-
es every day” is a better goal than “ I will read everyday”
A is for Achievable/Attainable
Humans have massive potential for achievement but still the goals we set need to be grounded
in reality. A goal like “I will be fit to run an ultra marathon by next week” will result in disappoint-
ment
62
R is for Relevant
‘why’ do you want to achieve this goal. Never set up goals under pressure.
T is for Time-specific
There should be a deadline to achieve the goal

How Can We Best Achieve Goals We Have Set?

Have you ever made a New Year’s resolution? Did you achieve it? You can achieve any goal by
following the below rules-
1. Write down your goals
Write down your goals and think carefully about the steps involved to get there.
For example, try writing 2 goals below:-
Name:____________________
My Important Goals:
My goal relating to my "Academic performance " is _____________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
a) I will plan to do the following to achieve my goal _____________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
b) I will begin on: _________________________________________________________________
c) The date by when I will achieve my goal is ___________________________________________
d) This goal is important to me because _______________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
63
My goal to be achieved at "Home" is _________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
a) I will do the following to achieve my goal
_______________________________________________________________________________
b) I will begin on _________________________________________________________________
c) The date by when I will achieve my goal is___________________________________________
d) This goal is important to me because
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________

2. Put a plan into action and review it regularly

Consider the time in which you wish to achieve your target. If your goal is challenging, break it
down into smaller, more manageable goals.

3. Reward yourself for your successes, but don’t punish yourself for failure
Acknowledge your success and enjoy the positive emotions that accompany it.
It is important to be resilient in the face of adversity. It’s great to shoot for the stars, but goal
setting is more about what you can realistically accomplish.

64
Michael Jordan’s way of Goal setting
Michael Jordan is known as one of the greatest basketball players of all time. He wrote the follow-
ing about goal setting in his book, I Can’t Accept Not Trying: Michael Jordan on the Pursuit of Excel-
lence:
I approach everything step by step….I had always set short-term goals. As I look back, each one of
the steps or successes led to the next one. When I got cut from the varsity team as a sophomore
in high school, I learned something. I knew I never wanted to feel that bad again….So I set a goal of
becoming a starter on the varsity. That’s what I focused on all summer. When I worked on my game,
that’s what I thought about. When it happened, I set another goal, a reasonable, manageable goal
that I could realistically achieve if I worked hard enough….I guess I approached it with the end in
mind. I knew exactly where I wanted to go, and I focused on getting there. As I reached those goals,
they built on one another. I gained a little confidence every time I came through.
…If [your goal is to become a doctor]…and you’re getting Cs in biology then the first thing you have
to do is get Bs in biology and then As. You have to perfect the first step and then move on to chemis-
try or physics.
Take those small steps. Otherwise you’re opening yourself up to all kinds of frustration. Where
would your confidence come from if the only measure of success was becoming a doctor? If you
tried as hard as you could and didn’t become a doctor, would that mean your whole life was a fail-
ure? Of course not.
All those steps are like pieces of a puzzle. They all come together to form a picture…. Step by step, I
cant see any other way of accomplishing anything.

Always Remember Rome wasn't built in a day. Don't give up.

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 10. SELF CONTROL AND HABITS
What Are Habits?
Habits are the small decisions you make and
actions you perform every day. Your life today is
essentially the sum of your habits.

How healthy you are? A result of your habits.

How happy? A result of your habits.
How successful you are? A result of your habits.

What you repeatedly do ultimately forms the

person you are. When you learn to transform
your habits, you can transform your life.

Every habit you have — good or bad — follows the same 3–step pattern:

Reminder - The trigger that initiates the behaviour.

Routine - The behavior itself; the action you take
Reward - The benefit you gain from doing the behavior.

This helpful framework can make it easier to stick to new habits so that you can improve your
health, your work, and your life in general.

66
To Change Your Behavior, Change Your Environment
Every habit is initiated by a trigger. It’s easy to not read a book when the bookshelf is in the cor-
ner of the guest room.
Here are a few ways you can redesign your environment and make the cues for your preferred
habits more obvious:

• If you want to practice guitar more frequently, place your guitar stand in the middle of the liv-
ing room.
• If you want to drink more water, fill up a few water bottles each morning and place them in
common locations around the house.
If you want to make a habit a big part of your life, make the trigger a big part of your envi-
ronment. By having triggers throughout your surroundings, you increase the chance that
you’ll think about your habit throughout the day.

How to Stick With Good Habits Every Day by Using the “Paper Clip
Strategy”
Trent Dyrsmid, a young employee began each morning with two jars on his desk. One was filled
with 120 paper clips. The other was empty. As soon as he settled in each day, he would make a
sales call. Immediately after, he would move one paper clip from the full jar to the empty jar and
the process would begin again. “Every morning I would start with 120 paper clips in one jar and I
would keep dialing the phone until I had moved them all to the second jar,” he told me.
Within eighteen months, Dyrsmid became the most successful salesman of the company.

67
Trent Dyrsmid’s story is evidence of a simple truth: Success is often a result of committing to the
fundamentals over and over again.
Why did Trent’s paper clip strategy work so well and what can we learn from it?

The Power of a Visual Cue

The “Paper Clip Strategy” works particularly well be-
cause it creates a visual trigger that can help motivate
you to perform a habit with more consistency.

Making progress is satisfying, and visual measures—like

moving paperclips or hairpins or marbles—provide clear
evidence of your progress. As a result, they reinforce
your behavior and add little bit of immediate satisfac-
tion to any activity. Here are a few reasons visual cues
work well for building new good habits
• Visual cues remind you to start a behavior.
• Visual cues display your progress on a behavior.
• Visual cues can have an additive effect on motivation.

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What is self-control, and how much does it matter?
Self-control is being able to regulate yourself.
Can you Inhibit impulses? Delay gratification and plan ahead?
Young children with poor self-regulation skills perform poorly in academics and are at higher risk
for poor health.
So how do we foster self-discipline in children?
Help kids avoid temptation: Out of sight, out of mind
Teach them how to identify temptations on their own, and take the necessary action to elimi-
nate them.

Create an environment where self-control is consistently rewarded

The famous “marshmallow test.”
Preschoolers were given the choice between eating one treat now or two treats later. The kids
who demonstrated the capacity to wait performed better on scholastic achievement tests.

Turn "must do" tasks into "want to" tasks

A student who is not cooperating in the classroom will focus well on his favorite set of Legos or a
beloved video game.
He doesn't lack self-control. He lacks motivation. He needs to find enjoyment in the things he's
asked to do.

69
Nimansh-Arjav Grid of Good Habits
Select one activity from grid below everyday and complete the activity. To select the activity, close
your eyes and move one finger on the grid. Stop the finger on count of 10. The activity your finger
is pointing to is your “GOOD HABIT” for that day. Do complete it and select another the next day.
Study Maths No chips for No TV for Walk 3000 No ice-cream
for 1 Hr to- today Today steps today today
day
No biscuits Do a house- Write 1 page Clean your Make a do-
today hold chore today room nation

No gaming Exercise 30 Study Sci- Learn a No internet

consoles to- mins/day ence for 1 Hr new topic for today
day today
Play with Conduct an Plant a Yoga for 30 Donate food
your parents experiment Sapling minutes

No tablet / Read 10 pag- Help an hour No anger No sweet /

mobile es today in the kitch- today Chocolate
today en today

No fried Cook for Meditation Water your No games on

Food your parents for 10 min- plants phone
today utes Today

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 11. SAY NO TO DISCRIMINATION
This is a true story.
On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a
middle-aged, well-off white South African Lady has
found herself sitting next to a black man. She calls
the cabin crew attendant about her seating.
"What seems to be the problem Madam?" asks the
attendant. "Can't you see?" she says. "You've sat
me next to a black man. I can't possibly sit next to
this disgusting human. Find me another seat!"
The airhostess replies. " 'll go and check to see if we
have any seats available in club or first class."
A few minutes later the airhostess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady,
who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and self satisfied grin.
"Madam, I've spoken to the cabin services director, and we do have one seat in first class."
Before the lady has a chance to answer, the airhostess continues .........
"It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade and I have had to get special permission
from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it is outrageous that some-
one be forced to sit next to such an obnoxious person."
With that, she turns to the black man sitting next to the woman, and says...
"So if you'd like to get your things, Sir, I have your seat ready for you."
All passengers stood and gave a standing ovation while the black guy walked up to the first class.

71
Diversity
“Diversity” refers to the ways that we all are different from one another. Some differences can be
our gender, ethnicity or culture, religion, how much money we have (our social standing), age,
body size, and ability.
Discrimination
Discrimination is unfair treatment of one particular person or group of people. Usually the differ-
ent treatment is because of the person’s gender, religion, nationality, ethnicity (culture), race, or
other personal traits.
Unfortunately, discrimination is something that's still happening every single day. Discrimina-
tion happens throughout the world. It is worse in some countries than in others. Discrimination
strikes at the very heart of being human. It is harming someone’s rights simply because of who
they are or what they believe.
We all have the right to be treated equally, regardless of our race, ethnicity, nationality,
class, caste, religion, belief, gender, language, age, health or other status.
Types of Discrimination
Racial and ethnic discrimination
On June 7 1893, Mahatma Gandhi was evicted from a train in South Africa’s Pietermaritzburg
station because the compartment was reserved for “whites only”.
More than 125 years later, even today, this is one of the most common forms of discrimination.
When people are treated differently or unfairly because of their race; this is called racism. A per-
son's race is a classification based mainly on what you look like, like skin color (white or black,
for example).Racism affects virtually every country in the world. It systematically denies people
their full human rights just because of their colour, race, or national origin.
72
Ousting of Rohingya people in Myanmar is an example of racial discrimination. In India, members
of the Dalit community are targeted, by members of dominant castes, for a range of human rights
abuses.
Martin Luther king, Jr.
Martin Luther king Jr. was an African
American born in Atlanta, America during
a time when black people did not share
their equal rights with white people. This
is known as racial discrimination. He
experienced this first-hand when his
white neighbours refused to play with
him because he was black. One day, he
and his teacher were travelling in a bus.
When the bus filled up, the driver asked
them to give their seats to the white people. It was a law then. This incident hurt Martin as it was
injustice to black people. During his college years, he began reading about Mahatma Gandhi and
his teaching of non-violence. Martin believed that this was the only solution for his country’s un-
fair treatment towards black people. He saw this method of non-violence as the perfect answer
for the discrimination in his country.
On 1 December 1955, Mrs Rosa Parks, an African American woman refused to give up her seat on
a public bus to a white passenger. She remained seated. The police came and she got arrested as
it was against the law. Soon a revolt began and people boycotted the use of buses completely and
started walking or using bicycles for transport. Peaceful marches were held all over the country
and police kept arresting those involved in the march.
73
Martin Luther King and more than two lakh people led a march to the capital of America, Wash-
ington, D.C. in 1963 where he delivered the very famous speech - “I have a dream!”

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be
judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”
“I have a dream today!”

Racism laws were changed in 1964 in America and he was awarded the Noble Peace Prize in
1964 for his efforts to bring equality for the black people.

Gender discrimination
Another of the more common types of discrimination is gender based. In many countries, in all
religions of the world, customs and beliefs exist that deny women and girls their rights.
By law, women cannot dress as they like (Saudi Arabia, Iran) or work at night (Madagascar) or
take out a loan without their husband’s signature (Equatorial Guinea). In Saudi Arabia, they
called for an end to the driving ban, and in Iran, they demanded an end to forced hijab (veiling).
Women worldwide are paid less, on average, than men. Much of this is due to social norms that
consider women and their work to be of lower status

Discrimination based on caste

Discrimination based on work and descent (also referred as caste discrimination) is widespread
across Asia and Africa, affecting over 260 million people. Owing to their birth identity, people
from these communities are socially excluded, economically deprived and subjected to physical
and psychological abuse.
74
APARTHEID
Sometimes even governments have discriminated against whole groups of citizens. South Africa
had a system of discrimination against the non-white people of the country for many years. The
system was called apartheid.
Apartheid policy defined rights of white and non-white people in South Africa. It restricted access
to work, education and travel to non white South Africans.
During South Africa's period of apartheid blacks and whites were kept apart in many ways. A sign
from that time says that a beach is for whites only.

The Apartheid policy ended in 1993 but the social and economic effects are still visible.

Discrimination is against the law as many countries now have laws to end discrimination.

75
In India, the right to equality is an important right provided in Articles 14, 15, 16, 17 and 18 of
the constitution. It is the principal foundation and guarantees:
• Equality before the law
• Social equality and equal access to public areas
• Equality in matters of public employment
• Abolition of untouchability

What can you do?

If you face or see discrimination of any form in school, home or at any other place, do the follow-
ing-
• Stand up for yourself (if safe) and tell the person their behaviour is NOT ok
• Find a trusted friend to talk to about your feelings
• Get support and tell a teacher, parent or another trusted adult

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 12. OBSESSION WITH INTERNET
Internet is the most powerful invention and if used in
the positive direction, the internet can prove to be
very productive. Use of the internet is a big part of a
student life. According to a survey, 92% of teens age 13
to 17 go online daily and 71% of teens use more than
one social networking site. Social media platforms —
such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Goo-
gle+ etc along with gaming sites and instant messaging,
allow teens to have 24/7 access.

THE POSITIVES
The internet provides many opportunities to teens for
connection and information gathering. They get
information about news and current events. Access to a wide variety of resources helps them
with school projects, as well as pursuing personal interests such as sports, and music. Other ben-
efits include developing thinking and writing skills as they post to blogs or other online forums,
and connecting with others to discuss shared interests.

THE RISKS
Just as parents are encouraged to monitor where teens are going, who they are with, and what
they are doing, parents also need to be knowledgeable about teens’ internet activities, and talk
with teens about the potential dangers of sharing personal information online (e.g., phone num-
ber, address, passwords). Here are examples of risks the internet poses.

77
ADDICTION
Online games on the internet can be addictive to teenagers and children. This can take away your
precious time that should be used for other things more productive.
In addition, they are addicted to an extreme level to the internet for videos, chatting and other
non important activities. This internet addiction can result in disruption of the development of
their mental abilities at such young age.

CYBER CRIMES
Unsuspecting internet users may easily become a victim of criminal elements who interfere with
the emails or do something with the credit card information. Fooling or phishing other people
into believing that websites owned by criminals are legitimate resulted in millions of money lost

Phishing is a cybercrime in which a target or targets are contacted by email, telephone or text
message by someone and sensitive data such as personal information, banking and credit card
details, and passwords are taken posing as a legitimate person.

CYBER BULLY
One of the negative effects of internet on children and students is cyber bully. Students get easi-
ly trapped into it. They are harassed and have to face embarrassment but they still cannot share
such serious experience with anybody. The extremely regular explorations of the sites of social
networking make the cyber bullies easier to do. The cyber bullies always expose and demoralize
these victims. As a result, this will cause students to give a rise in suicidal attempts.

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LACKING CREATIVITY AND DEPENDENCE
Instead of thinking about any things you want to know by yourself, the fastest way they can do is
searching the internet or asking Google. Therefore, the ability of thinking and creation are limited.
They just search on the internet to find the information they need without working their mind.
They are being depended with things they would have to get to work and they rely on internet
search results.

INACTIVITY AND PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT

Physical exercise has become scarce. Students spend most of their leisure time sitting at one
place in front of their computers and very less movement is done by their body. Lack of any kind
of activity is one of the root causes of all the problems occurring to the body. Even at night, in-
stead of sleeping they spend time on internet.

PRIVACY IS DISTURBED
Hacking the internet has become very common these days. Not only the basic information, but
some of your most confidential details might get into the hands of hackers if you do not use the
internet safely.

INSOMNIA
Due to the presence of internet, some students shorten their sleeping hours. They sit on their lap-
tops late at night, chatting with their friends or playing games on the online gaming sites. It might
affect your mental and physical growth.

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Protecting your child from internet safety risks
We need to build the skills and knowledge to identify and manage internet safety risks. Here are
some basic things you can do to protect yourself from internet safety risks:

• Create screen-free areas in the house and keep the use of mobile/laptops limited to open areas.

• Stay in touch with what your child is doing online and how much time she’s spending online.

• Keep Your Privacy Settings On:These settings are sometimes (deliberately) hard to find because
companies want your personal information for its marketing value. Make sure you have enabled
these privacy safeguards, and keep them enabled.

• Practice Safe Browsing:Cybercriminals use lurid content as bait. One careless click could expose
personal data or infect your device with malware. By resisting the urge, you don't even give the
hackers a chance.

• Be Careful What You Download:A top goal of cybercriminals is to trick you into downloading
malware—programs or apps that carry malware or try to steal information. This malware can be
disguised as an app: anything from a popular game to something that checks traffic or the weath-
er. As PCWorld advises, don't download apps that look suspicious or come from a site you don't
trust.

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• Choose Strong Passwords:Passwords are one of the biggest weak spots. The problem with pass-
words is that people tend to choose easy ones to remember (such as "password" and "123456"),
which are also easy for cyber thieves to guess. Select strong passwords that are harder for cyber-
criminals to demystify.

• Make Online Purchases From Secure Sites:Any time you make a purchase online, you need to
provide credit card or bank account information. Only supply this information to sites that pro-
vide secure, encrypted connections. You can identify secure sites by looking for an address that
starts with https: (the S stands for secure) rather than simply http: They may also be marked by a
padlock icon next to the address bar.

• Be Careful Who You Meet Online:People you meet online are not always who they claim to be.
Indeed, they may not even be real. Fake social media profiles are a popular way for hackers to
cheat web users. Be as cautious and sensible in your online social life as you are in your in-person
social life.

• Keep Your Antivirus Program Up To Date:Internet security software cannot protect against ev-
ery threat, but it will detect and remove most malware—though you should make sure it's up to
date. They provide a vital layer of security.

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Solve the crossword of cyber safety and be always safe

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 13. JAPANESE VALUE SYSTEM
Once, Swami Vivekananda was travelling in
Japan. He wanted to eat fruits but couldn’t
find any. He said to himself, may be we
dont get the fruits here. A boy standing
nearby heard him. He ran and got a basket
full of fruits. Swami Vivekananda thanked
him and asked “how much I need to pay
for the fruits” The boy said never say to
anyone that you don't get fruits in Japan.

Japanese are proud of their country and

the local value systems remain strong.
Japanese culture is very collectivistic. Individuals often perceive themselves to be members of
'groups' rather than autonomous. It is important to note that over 98% of Japan shares the same
Japanese ethnicity.
They have been described as being “one nation, one civilization, one language, one culture and
one race”
Sharing a common heritage, history, culture and identity, people in Japan broadly anticipate their
perceptions to be consistent with the other Japanese people around them. Japanese culture puts
heavy emphasis on participation, diligence and performance in people’s professional lives.

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Human Relations
In Japanese mythology, the gods display human emotions. In these stories, behavior that results
in positive relations with others is rewarded. Honesty and empathy is highly valued.
On 11 march 2011, a powerful earthquake struck in Japan’s north east coast, triggering a mas-
sive tsunami. The earthquake and ensuing tsunami killed thousands and left many more without
shelter and electricity.
Widespread looting is common when such disasters occur. But this did not happen in Japan.
Amid chaos, foreign journalists have remarked on the calmness and the honesty of the victims.
One of the employees of a restaurant wrote this to a friend – “after the earthquake struck, peo-
ple in the restaurant started move out swiftly. In their hurry, I thought people would rush out of
the place, but almost everyone stopped to pay before they left. Even those who had panicked
and ran away, came back next day and paid their bill.’’
Core Japanese Values
The most important Japanese cultural and family values revolve around working together and
living in peace. Some of the biggest Japanese values are:

• Interdependence
Japanese children learn from their earliest days that human fulfillment comes from close associ-
ation with others. Children learn early to recognize that they are part of an interdependent soci-
ety, beginning in the family and later extending to larger groups such as neighbourhood, school,
community, and workplace.

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• Harmony & Politeness
Harmony remains a guiding philosophy in Japan that affects many features of society – especially
that of family and business. Working in harmony is viewed as the crucial element for productiv-
ity. The Japanese are gentle and courteous even if they disagree with what you are saying. This
ethos of cooperation is impressed upon Japanese children at young ages.

• Respect
The remarkably hospitable nature of the Japanese is associated with the term “teinei”, from
the terms “tei” which means elaborate, and “nei” which stands for peaceful. The Japanese peo-
ple do not tolerate any kind of disrespect. Thus, they show their respect for others as much
as they could. The ultimate sense of teinei is about being correct in one’s manners and being
warm-hearted always. Originally, it meant finding inner peace through offering beautiful flowers
to appease the gods. In the modern world, this inner peace is achieved through good manners
and correct conduct.

• Formality
The Japanese language is very formal and observant. It has different styles of speech for people
depending on their status. For example, natural speech changes to be more respectful when
people speak to someone older than them.

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Bowing, Formalities, and Showing Respect
Formalities are important in Japanese culture. How you address others is a sign of respect and
reverence in Japan. This is evident through body language and speech. Greeting someone with a
bow, for example, is comparable to shaking someone's hand.
• The eshaku is a semi-formal bow used for greetings and meeting new people. It involves bow-
ing at a 15-degree angle.
• The saikeirei bow is a 45-degree angle bow used for showing the highest form of respect.

Here are some Japanese greeting words

Ohayou gozaimasu good morning
Konnichiwa good afternoon
Sayounara Bye-bye
Ogenki desuka? How are you?
Gennki desu I’m fine
Arigatou gozaimasu thank you
Gomennasai I’ m sorry
Sumimasen Excuse me

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 14. TIME MANAGEMENT IN JAPAN
It became a big news when a Japanese railway company apologised for allowing a bullet train to
depart 20 seconds earlier than the scheduled time.
Japanese people are strict with time. Trains are always scheduled on time and even when they
will be late 1 minute, you will hear announcements from station staff to let people know that
trains are late.
Punctuality has been one of the important factors in building the country after the World War II.
Japanese are educated to do things punctiliously in school and trained to do jobs punctiliously in
company.

How to stay punctual? Act ten minutes earlier

There is a phrase that Japanese people use — “juppun mae koudou”, which means “act ten min-
utes earlier”. The idea is that you have to aim to be there ten minutes earlier to ensure you’re on
time.

Kanban
Nowadays, students are faced with an overwhelming list of things to do: Taking on too many tasks
at any given moment stresses a person out, making them less susceptible to learning. The best
way to avoid this is to use a system that effectively organizes your tasks and helps you accomplish
them.
One of the best management systems for this is the Kanban System.

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What Is Kanban?

The word Kanban (看板) comes from the Japanese language and its literal meaning is a “bill-
board” or a “signboard”. It was originally designed to increase the efficiency of workers in the
manufacturing industry. It was designed by Toyota industrial engineer Taiichi Ohno in order to
maximize the amount of output their factory can do in a day.

How It Works
For students, Kanban can be used to keep track of all schoolwork, from assignments and essay to
review books and quizzes. Kanban helps you accomplish all these tasks by separating them into
three categories:
• Unfinished Tasks
• Current Tasks
• Completed Tasks
For students, Kanban can be used to limit the number of things you need to do now, which pre-
vents you from being overwhelmed.
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Students can use Kanban to list down all the tasks they need to do for the day, then move individ-
ual items one at a time during the study process. This helps you remain organized because you
can see what your progress is every step of the day, while helping you keep track of all your re-
sponsibilities and breaking them up into smaller and easily-accomplishable tasks.
Applying Kanban To Your Studies
One of the key benefits of the Kanban system is that it’s very visual. This is crucial because our
brains recognize and process visual data more efficiently than written data. Kanban can help orga-
nize and increase the efficiency of how we process everything.
The first thing you need to get started on a Kanban system is a board. This will help you keep track
of all your tasks. For this, you can use:
• A chalkboard or a white board
• A poster-sized piece of paper
• A corkboard where you can tack on paper notes
• An electronic Kanban app
Consistency and discipline are key to the Kanban system and can greatly help you in your studies.

Using Kanban
The Kanban system can be applied to single tasks, or multiple tasks. For example, if your task is to
do an essay, you can break down the steps into the following:

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Using Kanban
The Kanban system can be applied to single tasks, or multiple tasks. For example, if your task is
to do an essay, you can break down the steps into the following:

UNFINISHED CURRENT COMPLETED

TASKS TASKS TASKS
Write Conclusion Write Body Write Outline

Proofread
Edit

Alternatively, it can also be used to organize multiple tasks, for example:

Unfinished Tasks Current Tasks Completed Tasks
Do Calculus Homework Study for Math Finals Write Essay

School is such an important part of every person’s life, not just because it teaches them crucial
skills they’ll need in adulthood, it also provides the basis of how they socialize with other peo-
ple. With the Kanban system, students can learn early on how to balance their work with their
social life, helping them become holistically developed adults.

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The Lazy Man
This is the story of a lazy man who was a friend of a king. One morning, the lazy man asked the
king
“why everyone says that I can’t do anything? and even when I go to get a proper job, everyone
refuses me. My enemies have told everyone that I never do any work on time.“
The king said,
“Let’s make a deal. before sunset, you come to my treasury and collect as much gold and pearls
as you can. They will all be yours.“
The man rushed towards his home to his wife. He explained everything and then after hearing
the husband, the wife said, “Go and get the gold and gems now. Time is gold for you”
The lazy man sat down and said, “I can’t go now, give me lunch first.”
after having lunch, he decided to take a nap but instead, slept for 2 hours. Then, late in the after-
noon, he picked a few bags and went towards the king’s treasury. On the way, he felt hot. So, he
sat down under a tree to rest and ended up sleeping for another 5 hours.
When he finally reached the palace it was already late in the evening, it was the time for sunset.
Therefore, the palace gates had been shut before he could reach there.
He lost the golden chance to get rich just because, he didn’t know the value of the time.

Time is precious. Spend it wisely and stop wasting time on unimportant things.

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 15. IKIGAI: SCERET OF HEALTH AND HAPPINESS
“Only staying active will make you want to live a hundred years”
The proverb comes from Japan, the origin of the concept of ‘Ikigai‘.
IKIGAI – meaning ‘purpose’ or ‘raison d’etre’ – is the Japanese secret to a long and happy life.

Japan is indeed a good place to look for longevity. At 74.9, it has the highest healthy life expec-
tation at birth. The share of centenarians (people with above 100 years of age) is far above the
global average.

The happiness of always being busy

Ikigai, is ‘the happiness of always being busy’.
In Japanese, it is written as 生き甲斐. It can be broken down in 生き, life, and 甲斐, to be worthwhile.

Long lives in Okinawa, Japan

Lets find out how Okinawans live to a hundred years and more, and how we can find our personal
purpose following their lead.
• Healthy Diet - based on green tea, large amounts of vegetables and fruits, soy products such as
tofu, and low sugar consumption. Also, people tend to eat from smaller plates, and until their
stomach is 80% full.
• Closely tied communities. Individuals are part of a moai, or a support group of people with sim-
ilar interests who look out for each other.
• A good dose of daily activity of low to moderate intensity: Lots of walking around, and people
spend time to tend their gardens.
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Want to find your Ikigai? Ask yourself the following four questions:
1. Your Passion - What do I love?
Everyday, keep aside time for something you love to do.
2. What am I good at?
Identify your skills and talent
3. What can transform into my future?
Earning money will keep your worries
at rest. A passionate following of your
goals which contributes towards
financial stability is a way for happy
life
4. What does the world need?
Do social work and offer services for
voluntary work. This will improve your
knowledge about real world needs and
make you feel good

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IKIGAI is seen as the convergence of four primary elements
Discovering your own ikigai brings fulfilment, happiness and make you live longer.

Ten rules that can help anyone find their own ikigai
1. Stay active and don’t retire
2. Leave urgency behind and adopt a slower pace of life
3. Only eat until you are 80 per cent full
4. Surround yourself with good friends
5. Get in shape through daily, gentle exercise
6. Smile and acknowledge people around you
7. Reconnect with nature
8. Give thanks to anything that brightens our day and makes us feel alive.
9. Live in the moment
10. Follow your ikigai

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What you deeply care about can unlock your ikigai
Follow your curiosity. Albert Einstein encourages us
to pursue our curiosities. He once said: “Don’t
think about why you question, simply don’t stop
questioning. Don’t worry about what you can’t
answer, and don’t try to explain what you can’t
know. Curiosity is its own reason. Try to
comprehend a little more each day. Have curiosity.”
A classic example is Steve Jobs’ curiosity for
typefaces which led him to attend a class on
typography and to develop his design sensibility.
Later, this became an essential part of Apple
computers and Apple’s core strength in the market.
We are born curious. Our insatiable drive to learn,
invent, explore, and study deserves to have the
same status as every other drive in our lives.

What is the one simple thing you

could do or be today that would be
an expression of your ikigai?
Find it and pursue it with all you have.

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