EL 9 / English 112 Language, Culture, and Society, NCC Module 1

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 EL 9 / English 112 Language, Culture, and Society, NCC Module 1

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Course Description
The aim of the course to practice reading literary texts, specifically texts in English by Filipinos --- both
male and female writers--- from a feminist perspective and using the lenses of Queer theory . Our
starting point will be the following definition of the “feminist reader”: The feminist reader assumes that
there is no innocent or neutral approach to literature and that all interpretation is political. The feminist
reader might ask, among other questions, how the text represents men and women, what it says about
gender relations, how it defines sexual difference. A feminist does not necessarily read in order to praise
or to blame, to judge or to censor. More commonly she sets out to assess how the text invites its
readers, as members of a specific culture, to understand what it means to be a woman or a man, and so
encourages them to reaffirm or to challenge existing cultural norms. From there we will venture on to
queer theory and explore texts within the current issues, specifically the SOGIE Equality or Anti-
Discrimination Bill which aims to protect persons with “diverse sexual orientation and gender identity”
from discrimination and abuse.
In the end, it is hoped that we will be able to develop gender sensitivity and gender respect, as part of
the Christian character that we hope to form in our students here at NCC.

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 EL 9 / English 112 Language, Culture, and Society, NCC Module 1

Introduction and Reminders Hullo, dear students! Welcome to our class on Gender in Philippine
Literature in English! I hope that you are all as excited as I am to see how we will do in
this distance education mode during the pandemic. Before we get started, there are a
few things you will need to keep in mind:

1. Deadlines are non-negotiable. Because we are not having regular classes, we need
to record your performace faithfully to monitor your progress and catch any deficiency
or difficulty at its earliest stage. If you do not meet the deadline, then your output will be a zero.
There is an IP grade during the pandemic (meaning “in progress” which you have an entire year to
remove), but please remember that this comes with such conditions as not exceeding the allowed
number of absences (for distance learning, non-submissions are equated with absences)

2. Remember that your professors prepare your modules and online lessons well in advance. This
means that our schedules are critical, and so following deadlines is crucial. Besides, you’re going
to become a professional, which means you need to know how to respect deadlines. It’s a
discipline you MUST LEARN.

3. Submit all outputs via email to louieAP13@yahoo.com. When you submit, please remember to
label your attached outputs this way: Surname, Module No., Subject , Exercise No. or title of
Output IF there is no given exercise number. E.g., Paraan Eng.121 Module 1 Pre-Test

4. My consultation hours are TWThF 4:30-5:30pm and Saturdays 9:00-12:00pm. This means that, for
those of you who chose the offline module modality, that’s when I will respond to your emailed
questions about our lessons. Those are also the times of day when I will be available for you should
you wish to have a one-on-one or group video chat to consult me.

5. Please ALWAYS put a Subject in your emails. It is theheight of laziness and irresponsibility not to
have one. In emails, the subject title should reflect the email’s contents.

6. Please remember that, as President, I am extremely busy. I will reply only to emails that have
questions relating to the work required. For questions regarding the lessons whih will require a
lengthy discussion, please set an appointment for a consultation during my consultation hours. Do
NOT delete your ‘Sent’ emails. In case I do not receive your output and call your attention to it, you
can forward your sent email to me as proof that you did indeed send it to me.

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 EL 9 / English 112 Language, Culture, and Society, NCC Module 1

Table of Contents

Course Description 1

Introduction and Reminders 2

Learning Outcomes 3

Pre-Test 4

How My Brother Leon Brought Home A Wife by Manuel Arguilla 15

Sapay Koma by Jhoanna Lynn Cruz 21

Learning Outcomes Throughout the course of this subject, you are expected to:

1. Manifest skills in close reading, textual analysis, and effective historical and cultural
contextualization of claims.
2. Express, in writing, how meanings are created through acts of critical reading.
3. Analyze the ways texts construct categories of difference, particularly differences of gender but
also those of race, ethnicity, nationality, sexuality, and class
4. Formulate interpretive, analytical, or conceptual arguments based on evidence drawn from texts
5. Organize ideas in writing
6. Use clear and appropriate prose
7. Use borrowed ideas ethically and responsibly via proper citation and acknowledgement of sources
8. Evaluate arguments
9. Identify and question assumptions
10. Describe scenario that you have personally observed where there is a need for gended sensitivity
11. Discuss your own issues with regard to our topic focus
12. Demonstrate, in your outputs, the NCCian institutional outcomes of communication competence,
ethical and responsible use of technology, critical thinking, appreciation of culture and awareness
of roles and responsibilities in society, gender respect, and Christian character.
13. Engage productively and respectfully with peers, hopefully, by the grace of God, in a face-to-face,
lively classroom interaction. If not yet possible, we can do this via video chat 😊

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 EL 9 / English 112 Language, Culture, and Society, NCC Module 1

Pre-Test
Before we start on our actual lessons, I need to check your levels of comprehension when reading

English texts. The literature that we will read are all in English, so you should demonstrate an acceptable

level of COMPETENCE in the language. You should also develop a competence in reading fine print 😊

Read the given selection and answer the questions that follow. Construct you own answer sheet

numbered 1 to 50. For each question, write the letter option (A, B, C, or D [or E, when given]) of your

answer-choice.

Email the answer sheet to louieAP13@yahoo.com by 9:00am of Friday, February 19, 2021.

THE SCIENCE OF LAUGHTER

By Nigel Praities/ 15 December 2006

1 “A day without laughter is a day wasted,” said the comedian Charlie Chaplin, and scientists

are starting to agree. Every couple of months, there are news stories claiming that chuckling

is good for your health and scientists are only just beginning to understand what happens in

the brain when we laugh. We don’t only laugh because something is funny, but also for a

range of social reasons like when we feel awkward or surprised. But for most of us, laughing

is a pleasurable experience and researchers are looking at the health benefits it could have.

2 Certain regions of the brain can cause laughter, like the supplementary motor area which is

associated with certain types of planning and motor organization. Stimulation of this area

elicits laughter and a sense of mirth. Other areas of the brain are also involved, for example

people with benign brain tumours near the hypothalamus can have uncontrollable fits of

laughter, called gelastic seizures.

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 EL 9 / English 112 Language, Culture, and Society, NCC Module 1

3 In December 2006, a paper in the Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry

described the case of a 65-year-old woman in Japan who could not stop laughing. Brain

imaging revealed that abnormal activation in a part of her brainstem explained the strange

pathological giggling.

4 Tickling is another occasion when we laugh spontaneously as a response to the stimulation

of nerve endings in the skin by another person. “If you are prone to experience ticklishness,

then your mind must be in a playful state and you are feeling secure and safe,” says Sven

Svebak, Professor of Medicine at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology. “There

also must be an element of unpredictability when you are touched.” This unpredictability is

the reason why tickling yourself is completely impossible.

5 Type ‘laughter’ and ‘therapy’ into an internet search engine and a stack of websites appear

advocating laughter as a treatment for conditions such as stress, depression and heart

disease. A doctor in India has even developed ‘laughter clubs’, an idea which has spread all

over the world, and which allows stressed-out executives to guffaw their way back to good

health. A giggling fit will certainly work out your intercostal and abdominal muscles but is

there scientific evidence for any other health benefit?

6 Sigmund Freud famously described laughter as a release of fear, anxiety and aggression and

many think he had a point. Research presented this year at the American Physiological

Society, involving 16 volunteers, found that watching a funny video for one hour decreased

the secretion of the stress hormones cortisol and epinephrine. It also raised the levels of

immune-boosting hormones, such as beta-endorphins and human growth hormone.

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7 Researchers from the University of Maryland studied 20 young volunteers and found that the

flow of blood in their brachial artery – the major blood vessel in the upper arm – was

increased in those who watched a comedy film compared to those who watched more serious

films. Of those who watched the films which generated laughter, 19 of the 20 volunteers had

increased blood vessel relaxation.

8 So should we all start a course of laughter, three times a day and before meals?

Unfortunately, these studies were done in small numbers of volunteers and were not blinded

or randomized, so it is hard to make any definite conclusions regarding the health benefits of

laughter. It is difficult to control for individual personalities, social situations or general

attitudes to life in these trials. Dr Harry Witchel of the Department of Physiology at the

University of Bristol is sceptical about the evidence for laughter as a miracle treatment: “It is

not a cure for any disease,” he says. “There are a variety of conditions where it might improve

certain cases, for example, in psychological stress-based disorders or for people on in vitro

fertilization (IVF) programmes.”

9 Until there is good scientific evidence that regular laughter prolongs life, the health benefits

of laughter will be controversial. In social situations, however, laughter is a natural

mechanism we use to help interactions go smoothly. Professor Christie Davies, a sociologist

from the University of Reading and author of the book The Mirth of Nations, says that for

social reasons, we feel that we have to keep a conversation going and laughter is one method

we use. “It is a social noise that people are not conscious they are making,” he says.

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It does seem intuitive that laughter is a good thing and everyone feels better after a good

chortle. It may not be the magic treatment for all ills, but it does no harm and improves quality

of life. So perhaps laughter is no joke after all.

=====================================================

READING COMPREHENSION. Identify the BEST OPTION that will complete the statements below.
1. The topic or subject matter of the text is
A. laughter as a form of medical therapy B. laughter is no joke
C. laughter for relaxation D. health benefits of laughter E. reasons people laugh

2. The main idea or thesis of the selection is:

A. Laughing is usually associated with pleasure, but as scientists study what happens in our bodies
when we laugh, they are discovering that it could also have health benefits.

B. Scientists have looked into the causes and effects of laughter, and have found out that laughter is
no joke.

C. As scientists are discovering that laughter has health benefits, we should all start our own daily
laughter therapy.

D. Scientists have discovered many things that people have realized many years ago and doctors
cannot explain.

E. The reported health benefits of laughter are still controversial since good scientific evidence has
not yet been presented.

3. The author’s purpose for writing this is

A. to inform the reader about the experience of laughter
B. to entertain the reader and help him/her reap the benefits of laughter
C. to explain why people need to laugh
D. to describe what happens in the body when we laugh
E. to persuade the reader to consider the beneficial effects of laughter

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4. An acceptable paraphrase of the quotation “Until there is good scientific evidence that regular laughter
prolongs life, the health benefits of laughter will be controversial” is:
A. It is good to laugh regularly because there is scientific evidence that regular laughter will help us
live longer.
B. The link between good health and laughter will still be open to question because of the absence of
solid scientific proof that laughing regularly will help us live longer.
Explanation: a good paraphrase tries not to use the same words or replacing with mere synonyms; it
retains the essence but states it in the writer’s own words.

C. Until it has been proven by scientists that a regular laugh can help people live longer, the health
benefits of laughter will remain open to controversy.
D. The health benefits of laughter will still be controversial until there is good scientific evidence that
regular laughter prolongs life.
E. For as long as there is no conclusive, scientific proof that laughter causes people to live longer, the
question of whether or not it is beneficial to heath will remain an issue.

Logical Reasoning BASED ON GIVEN statements. Based on the text, decide if the given statement is:

A (Definitely True), B (Most Likely True), C (Most likely False), or D (Definitely False).
EXPLANATION: The key here is the phrase “Based on the text”. If it was explicitly stated in the text, then the answer
should be ‘A (Definitely True)’. If it was not explicitly stated in the text but is strongly implied, then the answer should
be ‘B (Most likely true)’. If something in the text clearly contradicts the given statement, then your answer should be
‘D (Definitely False)’. If nothing in the text supports the given statement and there is something that indicates
(although does not explicitly state) that it might not be true, then your answer should be ‘C (Most likely false).

5. The physiological effects of laughter can be scientifically explained. A – see paragraphs 6 & 7
6. The hypothalamus is somewhere in or near the brain area. A – see paragraph 2
7. All uncontrollable fits of laughter can be classified under the medical term gelastic seizures. A–
see paragraph 2
8. People who are too serious, are insecure, and do not feel safe cannot be tickled. B – see par. 4
9. Increased blood vessel relaxation is good for our health. B – combine the main ideas of
paragraphs 6 & 7
10. Prolonged giggling provides good exercise for our stomach muscles. A – see paragraph 5
11. A doctor in China started “laughter clubs”. D – see paragraph 5
12. Laughter can definitely not help women that are trying to get pregnant. B – see paragraph 8

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VOCABULARY: Taking Meaning form Sentence Context. Identify the word/phrase that is CLOSEST in
meaning or is the BEST replacement for the underscored/underlined words in the sentences that follow.
If the given sentence does not provide enough context for you to infer meaning, re-read the paragraph
(indicated) from which the sentence is taken.

13. Brain imaging revealed that abnormal activation in a part of her brainstem explained the strange
pathological giggling. (paragraph 3)

A. Strange and uncomfortable C. cute and pleasurable E. medical

B. compulsive and uncontrollable D. sad and inconceivable

14. Tickling is another occasion when we laugh spontaneously. (par. 4)

A. happily B. loudly C. unconsciously D. naturally E. crazily

15. If you are prone to ticklishness, your mind is in a playful state and you are feeling secure (p.4)
A. sensation of pleasure C. moments of laughter E. giddiness
B. expression of joy D. shades of bliss

16. There must also be an element of unpredictability when you are touched. (paragraph 4)
A. characteristic of the unseen B. characteristic of the unpleasant
C. characteristic of the untold D. characteristic of the unheard E. characteristic of the unforeseen

17. It does seem intuitive that laughter is a good thing and that everyone feels good after a good
chortle. (par. 9)
A. Unstinting B. instinctive C. unnatural D. unpredictable E. intrinsic

Inferring Meaning and Word Relationships BASED ON the TEXT. The sentences that follow are based on
statements in the text. Read carefully and choose the BEST answer.

18. The benefits of laughter remain controversial (par.9) because Science has not yet provided
incontrovertible proof that regular laughter prolongs life. The synonym for the underlined word is:
A. unchanging B. undeniable C. incomplete D. incontroversial E. introverted

19. In the text, the following are used as synonyms for ‘laughing’ and ‘laughter’:
A. giggling, chortle, sense of mirth C. giggling, chortle, gelastic seizure
B. giggling, chortle, guffaw D. giggling, guffaw, ticklishness

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20. If you type the words “laughter” and “therapy” on Google or Yahoo on the Internet, you will see a
profusion of articles, websites and other sources advocating laughter as a treatment for stress,
depression, and heart disease (paragraph 5). Obviously, an advocacy means:

A. a support for something C. an advertisement for something

B. a case of something D. a policy for something

GRAMMAR AND MECHANICS. Choose the grammatically correct option that will answer the question
or complete the given statement:

21. There (A. has been, B. have, C. will be, D. will have been, E. shall have been) a number of studies
that yielded positive results about the benefits of laughter.
Ooops; none of the given choices is correct. The grammatically correct sentence should read: There
have been a number of studies that yielded positive results about the benefits of laughter. My
mistake, so Bonus point for you!

22. Certain regions of the brain such as the supplementary motor area could be
(A. involve, B. involves, C. involvement, D. involving, E. involved) in laughing.

23. According to a study, each participant who watched a funny video increased (A. they’re B. their C.
his/her D. one’s, E. there) secretion of stress hormones.

24. Ticklishness (A. indicates B. is indicated C. indicate D. was indicated E. is) a playful state of mind

25. Since the science of laughter remains controversial, (A. they, B. its, C. it, D. you, E. one) should be
studied further.

26. (A. Although, B. Since, C. However, D. Because, E. In spite of) there are studies showing the
health benefits of laughter, Dr. Witchel cautions that laughter is not a cure for any disease.

27. Which sentence does not contain an error? (same question/instruction for 28-32, meaning choose
the answer that is most accurate--- does not contain an error)
A. Therapeutic for heart conditions, people who laugh increase the relaxation of their blood vessels.
B. Therapeutic for heart conditions, the benefits of laughter are increase in blood vessel relaxation.
C. Therapeutic for heart conditions, laughter is claimed to increase relaxation of the blood vessels.
D. Therapeutic for heart conditions, relaxation of the blood vessels increase when a person laughs.
E. Therapeutic for heart conditions, laughter in people increases the relaxation of the blood vessels.

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28. According to the study, what are the possible benefits of watching comedy?

A. Watching comedy can increase immune-boosting hormones and blood-vessel relaxation.

B. Watching comedy can increased immune-boosting hormones and blood-vessel relaxation.
C. Watching comedy have increased immune-boosting hormones and blood-vessel relaxation.
D. Watching comedy increases immune-boosting hormones and blood-vessel relaxation.
E. Watching comedy shall increased immune-boosting hormones and blood-vessel relaxation.

29. Who have contributed to the study of the benefits of laughter?

A. Researchers from the University of Maryland; the American Psychological Society; and
professors from different universities have studied the science of laughter.

B. Researchers from the University of Maryland, the American Psychological Society, and
professors from different universities have studied the science of laughter.

C. Researchers from: the University of Maryland; the American Psychological Society; and
professors from different universities have studied the science of laughter.

D. Researchers, from the University of Maryland, the American Psychological Society, and
professors from different universities, have studied the science of laughter.

E. Researchers from the University of Maryland, the American Psychological Society and professors
from different universities have studied the science of laughter.

30. What do several websites say about laughter?

A. Laughter is therapeutic for heart conditions, stress, and depression.

B. Laughter are therapeutic for heart conditions, stress, and depression.
C. Laughter was therapeutic for heart conditions, stress, and depression.
D. Laughter were therapeutic for heart conditions, stress, and depression.

31. What personal factors cause laughter?

A. Either attitude or personality cause laughter.

B. Either attitude or personality caused laughter.
C. Either attitude or personality are cause laughter.
D. Either attitude or personality causes laughter.

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32. What external factors can cause laughter?

A. A social situation --- like when we feel awkward, afraid, or surprised --- cause laughter.
B. A social situation --- like when we feel awkward, afraid, or surprised --- causes laughter.
C. A social situation --- like when we feel awkward, afraid, or surprised --- caused laughter.
D. A social situation --- like when we feel awkward, afraid, or surprised --- causing laughter.

Spotting and Correcting Errors. Identify type of grammatical error in each numbered line by writing the
letter (A, B, C, or D) corresponding to the nature of the error beside the number. If no error, write ‘E’.

A. Sentence Fragment B. Subject-Verb Agreement error

C. Preposition error D. Wrong verb form E. No error

I have also highlighted the part that has the error and provided
explanations when necessary

33. People who laugh heartily with a regular basis have lower blood pressure than the average person.
C – the correct preposition is ‘on’
34. Which is why people experience health benefits when they have a good laugh. A – this is not a
complete sentence.
35. The blood pressure increases initially, then decreases over levels below normal. E – no error

36. Breathing became deeper, which sends oxygen-enriched blood and nutrients throughout the body.
D – the two verb tenses do not match: one is in the past tense and the other is in the present tense

37. This results to a decrease in stress levels. C - correct preposition is ‘in’: ‘results in’, not ‘results to’

38. And, an overall feeling of well-being in the body. A – this is not a complete sentence

39. Laughter, along with an active sense of humor, may helps protect you against a heart attack. D –
‘may help’, not ‘may helps’

40. This is based from a study at the University of Maryland Medical Center. C – the correct preposition
is ‘on’: it should be ‘based on’, not ‘based from’.

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Paragraph Organization. Each number has a series of numbered sentences that, when arranged in
correct sequence, will make up a coherent, cohesive paragraph. Circle the letter with the correct
sentence sequence

41. A. 1-3-2-4-5 B. 1-5-2-3-4 C. 1-5-3-4-2 D. 5-1-3-2-4 E. 5-3-4-2-1

1 The most famous story of laughter as medicine is that of Norman Cousins.

2 He began to research the effects of stress on the body, and learned that it could be detrimental to
the immune system.

3 He was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, a collagen illness that attacks the connective tissues
of the body, most likely due to exposure to heavy-metal poisoning.

4 Cousins questioned the diagnosis because his wife had been with him but experienced no symptoms

5 In 1964, Norman Cousins returned home from a meeting in Moscow experiencing severe joint pain
and with fever.

42. A. 6-8-7-10-9 B. 7-6-8-10-9 C. 7-8-6-10-9 D. 6-7-8-10-9 E. 6-7-8-9-10

6 Cousins, battling his ailment, was being treated with high doses of painkillers, which he realized
were harmful to his body.

7 Cousins read of the theory that negative emotions can be harmful to the body, and so
hypothesized that if the negative emotions were detrimental to your health, then the positive
emotions should improve health.

8 This realization motivated him to prescribe himself a medication of a different sort.

9 This proved to be effective, as in very little time, Cousins was off of all painkillers and sleeping pills,
as he found that laughter relieved pain and would help him sleep.

10 He hired a nurse who would read him humorous stories, and play for him Marx Brothers movies,
starring the most famous comedic pair in American history.

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43. A. 11-12-13-14 B. 12-11-14-13 C. 13-11-14-12 D. 11-13-12-14 E. 11-14-13-12

11 Cousins published his story and his claims of the benefits of laughter, but was much criticized.

12 In 1989, it was finally acknowledged in the Journal of the American Medical Association that
laughter therapy could help improve the quality of life for patients with chronic illnesses, and that
laughter has an immediate symptom-relieving effect.

13 The increase in threshold for pain during laughter that Cousins experienced has been confirmed in
laboratory studies.

14 Ever since Norman Cousins declared that he "laughed himself out of" a deadly disease, scientists
have theorized that laughter has the ability to strengthen the human immune system.

Analogy/ Reasoning. Complete each given analogy. Circle the letter of the BEST answer. Here, you
needed to choose the answer that shows the same relationship as the given sample, and in the same
sequence/order, with the same nature of the components. So, if it was verb and noun, the answer also
had to be verb and noun. If there is a cause-effect relationship n the given sample, so should there be in
your answer. If currency and country, your answer can’t be currency and city. And so on…

44. laughter : stress :: calcium __________

A. good teeth B. strong bones C. milk D. bone density loss

45. Tarsier: Philippines :: Koala Bear : _________

A. Australia B. America C. Africa D. New Zealand

46. car : garage :: airplane: ________

A. airport B. runway C. airstrip D. hangar

47. peso : Philippines :: ________ : ________

A. yen : Japan B. England: pound C. rupiah: India D. ringgit: Kuala Lumpur

48. haiku : three :: sonnet : _______

A. twelve B. fourteen C. sixteen D. seven

49. David : Saul :: Cory Aquino: ______

A. Fidel Ramos B. Ferdinand Marcos C. Emilio Aguinaldo D. Joseph Ejercito

50. America: Americans :: Australia: Australians :: Bacarra: __________

A. Bacarranians B. Bacarrans C. Bacarreňos D. Bacarranans

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 EL 9 / English 112 Language, Culture, and Society, NCC Module 1

Read two English texts written by Filipino authors, both of them Ilocano

How My Brother Leon Brought Home A Wife by Manuel E. Arguilla

Manuel Estabilla Arguilla was an Ilokano writer in English, patriot, and martyr. He is known for his widely
anthologized short story "How My Brother Leon Brought Home a Wife”. It has been included in syllabi in
schools, college, and universities all over the world.

[1] SHE stepped down from the carretela of Ca Celin with a quick, delicate grace. She was lovely. She
was tall. SHe looked up to my brother with a smile, and her forehead was on a level with his mouth.
[2] "You are Baldo," she said and placed her hand lightly on my shoulder. Her nails were long, but they
were not painted. She was fragrant like a morning when papayas are in bloom. And a small dimple
appeared momentarily high on her right cheek.
[3] "And this is Labang of whom I have heard so much." She held the wrist of one hand with the other
and looked at Labang, and Labang never stopped chewing his cud. He swallowed and brought up to his
mouth more cud and the sound of his insides was like a drum.
[4] I laid a hand on Labang's massive neck and said to her: "You may scratch his forehead now."
[5] She hesitated and I saw that her eyes were on the long, curving horns. But she came and touched
Labang's forehead with her long fingers, and Labang never stopped chewing his cud except that his big
eyes half closed. And by and by she was scratching his forehead very daintily.
[6] My brother Leon put down the two trunks on the grassy side of the road. He paid Ka Celin twice the
usual fare from the station to the edge of Nagrebcan. Then he was standing beside us, and she turned to
him eagerly. I watched Ka Celin, where he stood in front of his horse, and he ran his fingers through its
forelock and could not keep his eyes away from her.
[7] "Maria---" my brother Leon said.
[8] He did not say Maring. He did not say Mayang. I knew then that he had always called her Maria and
that to us all she would be Maria; and in my mind I said "Maria" and it was a beautiful name.
[9] "Yes, Noel."
[10] Now where did she get that name? I pondered the matter quietly to myself, thinking Father might
not like it. But it was only the name of my brother Leon said backward and it sounded much better that
way.
[11] There is Nagrebcan, Maria," my brother Leon said, gesturing widely toward the west.
[12] She moved close to him and slipped her arm through his. And after a while she said quietly.
[13] "You love Nagrebcan, don't you, Noel?"

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[14] Ca Celin drove away hi-yi-ing to his horse loudly. At the bend of the camino real where the big
duhat tree grew, he rattled the handle of his braided rattan whip against the spokes of the wheel.
[15] We stood alone on the roadside.
[16] The sun was in our eyes, for it was dipping into the bright sea. The sky was wide and deep and very
blue above us: but along the saw-tooth rim of the Katayaghan hills to the southwest flamed huge
masses of clouds. Before us the fields swam in a golden haze through which floated big purple and red
and yellow bubbles when I looked at the sinking sun. Labang's white coat, which I had wshed and
brushed that morning with coconut husk, glistened like beaten cotton under the lamplight and his horns
appeared tipped with fire. He faced the sun and from his mouth came a call so loud and vibrant that the
earth seemed to tremble underfoot. And far away in the middle of the field a cow lowed softly in
answer.
[17] "Hitch him to the cart, Baldo," my brother Leon said, laughing, and she laughed with him a big
uncertainly, and I saw that he had put his arm around her shoulders.
[18] "Why does he make that sound?" she asked. "I have never heard the like of it."
[19] "There is not another like it," my brother Leon said. "I have yet to hear another bull call like Labang.
In all the world there is no other bull like him."
[20] She was smiling at him, and I stopped in the act of tying the sinta across Labang's neck to the
opposite end of the yoke, because her teeth were very white, her eyes were so full of laughter, and
there was the small dimple high up on her right cheek.
[21] "If you continue to talk about him like that, either I shall fall in love with him or become greatly
jealous."
[22] My brother Leon laughed and she laughed and they looked at each other and it seemed to me
there was a world of laughter between them and in them.
[23] I climbed into the cart over the wheel and Labang would have bolted, for he was always like that,
but I kept a firm hold on his rope. He was restless and would not stand still, so that my brother Leon had
to say "Labang" several times. When he was quiet again, my brother Leon lifted the trunks into the cart,
placing the smaller on top.
[24] She looked down once at her high-heeled shoes, then she gave her left hand to my brother Leon,
placed a foot on the hub of the wheel, and in one breath she had swung up into the cart. Oh, the
fragrance of her. But Labang was fairly dancing with impatience and it was all I could do to keep him
from running away.

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[25] "Give me the rope, Baldo," my brother Leon said. "Maria, sit down on the hay and hold on to
anything." Then he put a foot on the left shaft and that instant Labang leaped forward. My brother Leon
laughed as he drew himself up to the top of the side of the cart and made the slack of the rope hiss
above the back of Labang. The wind whistled against my cheeks and the rattling of the wheels on the
pebbly road echoed in my ears.
[26] She sat up straight on the bottom of the cart, legs bent together to one side, her skirts spread over
them so that only the toes and heels of her shoes were visible. Her eyes were on my brother Leon's
back; I saw the wind on her hair.

[27] When Labang slowed down, my brother Leon handed to me the rope. I knelt on the straw inside
the cart and pulled on the rope until Labang was merely shuffling along, then I made him turn around.
[28] "What is it you have forgotten now, Baldo?" my brother Leon said.
[29] I did not say anything but tickled with my fingers the rump of Labang; and away we went---back to
where I had unhitched and waited for them. The sun had sunk and down from the wooded sides of the
Katayaghan hills shadows were stealing into the fields. High up overhead the sky burned with many slow
fires.

[30] When I sent Labang down the deep cut that would take us to the dry bed of the Waig which could
be used as a path to our place during the dry season, my brother Leon laid a hand on my shoulder and
said sternly:
[31] "Who told you to drive through the fields tonight?"
[32] His hand was heavy on my shoulder, but I did not look at him or utter a word until we were on the
rocky bottom of the Waig.
[33] "Baldo, you fool, answer me before I lay the rope of Labang on you. Why do you follow the Waig
instead of the camino real?"
[34] His fingers bit into my shoulder.
[35] "Father, he told me to follow the Waig tonight, Manong."
[36] Swiftly, his hand fell away from my shoulder and he reached for the rope of Labang. Then my
brother Leon laughed, and he sat back, and laughing still, he said:
[37] "And I suppose Father also told you to hitch Labang to the cart and meet us with him instead of
with Castano and the calesa."

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[38] Without waiting for me to answer, he turned to her and said, "Maria, why do you think Father
should do that, now?" He laughed and added, "Have you ever seen so many stars before?"
[39] I looked back and they were sitting side by side, leaning against the trunks, hands clasped across
knees. Seemingly, but a man's height above the tops of the steep banks of the Wait, hung the stars. But
in the deep gorge the shadows had fallen heavily, and even the white of Labang's coat was merely a
dim, grayish blur. Crickets chirped from their homes in the cracks in the banks. The thick, unpleasant
smell of dangla bushes and cooling sun-heated earth mingled with the clean, sharp scent of arrais roots
exposed to the night air and of the hay inside the cart.

[40] "Look, Noel, yonder is our star!" Deep surprise and gladness were in her voice. Very low in the
west, almost touching the ragged edge of the bank, was the star, the biggest and brightest in the sky.
[41] "I have been looking at it," my brother Leon said. "Do you remember how I would tell you that
when you want to see stars you must come to Nagrebcan?"
[42] "Yes, Noel," she said. "Look at it," she murmured, half to herself. "It is so many times bigger and
brighter than it was at Ermita beach."
[43] "The air here is clean, free of dust and smoke."
[44] "So it is, Noel," she said, drawing a long breath.
[45] "Making fun of me, Maria?"
[46] She laughed then and they laughed together and she took my brother Leon's hand and put it
against her face.
[47] I stopped Labang, climbed down, and lighted the lantern that hung from the cart between the
wheels.
[48] "Good boy, Baldo," my brother Leon said as I climbed back into the cart, and my heart sang.
[49] Now the shadows took fright and did not crowd so near. Clumps of andadasi and arrais flashed into
view and quickly disappeared as we passed by. Ahead, the elongated shadow of Labang bobbled up and
down and swayed drunkenly from side to side, for the lantern rocked jerkily with the cart.
[50] "Have we far to go yet, Noel?" she asked.
[51] "Ask Baldo," my brother Leon said, "we have been neglecting him."
[52] "I am asking you, Baldo," she said.
[53] Without looking back, I answered, picking my words slowly:
[54] "Soon we will get out of the Waig and pass into the fields. After the fields is home---Manang."
[55] "So near already."

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[56] I did not say anything more because I did not know what to make of the tone of her voice as she
said her last words. All the laughter seemed to have gone out of her. I waited for my brother Leon to say
something, but he was not saying anything. Suddenly he broke out into song and the song was "Sky
Sown with Stars"---the same that he and Father sang when we cut hay in the fields at night before he
went away to study. He must have taught her the song because she joined him, and her voice flowed
into his like a gentle stream meeting a stronger one. And each time the wheels encountered a big rock,
her voice would catch in her throat, but my brother Leon would sing on, until, laughing softly, she would
join him again.

[57] Then we were climbing out into the fields, and through the spokes of the wheels the light of the
lantern mocked the shadows. Labang quickened his steps. The jolting became more frequent and painful
as we crossed the low dikes.
[58] "But it is so very wide here," she said. The light of the stars broke and scattered the darkness so
that one could see far on every side, though indistinctly.
[59] "You miss the houses, and the cars, and the people and the noise, don't you?" My brother Leon
stopped singing.
[60] "Yes, but in a different way. I am glad they are not here."

[61] With difficulty I turned Labang to the left, for he wanted to go straight on. He was breathing hard,
but I knew he was more thirsty than tired. In a little while we drope up the grassy side onto the camino
real.
[62] "---you see," my brother Leon was explaining, "the camino real curves around the foot of the
Katayaghan hills and passes by our house. We drove through the fields because---but I'll be asking
Father as soon as we get home."
[63] "Noel," she said.
[64] "Yes, Maria."
[65] "I am afraid. He may not like me."
[66] "Does that worry you still, Maria?" my brother Leon said. "From the way you talk, he might be an
ogre, for all the world. Except when his leg that was wounded in the Revolution is troubling him, Father
is the mildest-tempered, gentlest man I know."

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[67] We came to the house of Lacay Julian and I spoke to Labang loudly, but Moning did not come to
the window, so I surmised she must be eating with the rest of her family. And I thought of the food
being made ready at home and my mouth watered. We met the twins, Urong and Celin, and I said
"Hoy!" calling them by name. And they shouted back and asked if my brother Leon and his wife were
with me. And my brother Leon shouted to them and then told me to make Labang run; their answers
were lost in the noise of the wheels.
[68] I stopped labang on the road before our house and would have gotten down but my brother Leon
took the rope and told me to stay in the cart. He turned Labang into the open gate and we dashed into
our yard. I thought we would crash into the camachile tree, but my brother Leon reined in Labang in
time. There was light downstairs in the kitchen, and Mother stood in the doorway, and I could see her
smiling shyly. My brother Leon was helping Maria over the wheel.
[69] The first words that fell from his lips after he had kissed Mother's hand were:
[70] "Father---where is he?"
[71] "He is in his room upstairs," Mother said, her face becoming serious. "His leg is bothering him
again."
[72] I did not hear anything more because I had to go back to the cart to unhitch Labang. But I hardly
tied him under the barn when I heard Father calling me. I met my brother Leon going to bring up the
trunks. As I passed through the kitchen, there were Mother and my sister Aurelia and Maria and it
seemed to me they were crying, all of them.

[73] There was no light in Father's room. There was no movement. He sat in the big armchair by the
western window, and a star shone directly through it. He was smoking, but he removed the roll of
tobacco from his mouth when he saw me. He laid it carefully on the windowsill before speaking.
[74] "Did you meet anybody on the way?" he asked.
[75] "No, Father," I said. "Nobody passes through the Waig at night."
[76] He reached for his roll of tobacco and hithced himself up in the chair.
[77] "She is very beautiful, Father."
[78] "Was she afraid of Labang?" My father had not raised his voice, but the room seemed to resound
with it. And again I saw her eyes on the long curving horns and the arm of my brother Leon around her
shoulders.
[79] "No, Father, she was not afraid."

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[80] "On the way---"

[81] "She looked at the stars, Father. And Manong Leon sang."
[82] "What did he sing?"
[83] "'Sky Sown with Stars.' She sang with him."

[84] He was silent again. I could hear the low voices of Mother and my sister Aurelia downstairs. There
was also the voice of my brother Leon, and I thought that Father's voice must have been like it when
Father was young. He had laid the roll of tobacco on the windowsill once more. I watched the smoke
waver faintly upward from the lighted end and vanish slowly into the night outside.
[85] The door opened and my brother Leon and Maria came in.
[86] "Have you watered Labang?" Father spoke to me.
[87] I told him that Labang was resting yet under the barn.
[88] "It is time you watered him, my son," my father said.

[89] I looked at Maria and she was lovely. She was tall. Beside my brother Leon, she was tall and very
still. Then I went out, and in the darkened hall the fragrance of her was like a morning when papayas are
in bloom.

Sapay Koma
Nonfiction by Jhoanna Lynn Cruz | September 14, 2008
This won 3rd prize, Essay in English, Don Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature 2008
“I looked at Maria and she was lovely. She was tall…and in the darkened hall the fragrance of her was
like a morning when papayas are in bloom.”
–Manuel Arguilla

[1] On our first Valentine as a couple, he gave me a bowl of white nondescript flowers. They had a
distinctly sweet but faint scent. I had never been a fan of Valentine’s Day nor of love like a red, red rose;
but that day, I became a believer. He told me they were papaya blossoms from his mother’s garden. At
that moment, I knew I would one day marry him. We had started dating only three months ago, but I
knew I would be Maria to his Leon. Why, he even had a younger brother the same age as Baldo! And
even though they didn’t live in Nagrebcan nor owned a carabao, the town of Itogon, Benguet was
remote enough for me.

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[2] I have always enjoyed teaching the Arguilla story for its subversive take on the role that one’s family
plays in a marriage; but having been born and raised in Pasay City, I had no idea what papaya blossoms
smelled like. I imagined that my new boyfriend had read the story in his Philippine literature class and
meant for me to recognize his gift as an allusion. In fact, I imagined we would defy societal norms and
prove that love conquers all. Instead of a “theme song,” our relationship had a story to live up to. It was
a disaster waiting to happen.

[3] In the story, Leon brings his city-girl wife, Maria, home to meet his parents for the first time. His surly
father orchestrates several tests of Maria’s suitability through Leon’s younger brother Baldo, who is
quickly won over by her papaya blossom scent.
[4] The first time I met his parents was on the wedding day of his eldest brother. By then, we had been
seeing each other discreetly for seven months, somehow knowing that no one would approve of our
relationship. In the midst of the beating of gongs and best wishes, his Kankanaey father only wanted to
know two things about me: where I was from and what language I spoke.
[5] I gave the wrong answer on both points. I was a Manileña and I couldn’t speak Ilocano yet, having
only recently moved to Baguio City to rebuild my life after becoming disillusioned with the institution
that had once nurtured my desire to excel. But no love lost, I was only their son’s “gayyem” (friend),
after all. It didn’t help that I was wearing a leopard print spaghetti-strapped dress, which exposed the
tattoo on my back. I reasoned that the Cordillera culture has a long tradition of body art; so they should
appreciate the significance of mine. None of us knew at that time that I was already carrying a half-
Igorot child in my womb (which, I imagined, somehow made me an acceptable quarter-Igorot for the
nonce).
[6] Against better judgment, we decided to get married. We were under the influence of hormones, of
pregnancy, of the Catholic church, of Manuel Arguilla. We would have gotten a quickie secret wedding if
he were old enough, or I, wais enough; but by law we needed his parents’ consent. Which they refused
to give. For perfectly good reasons.

[7] They could have said, “You shouldn’t marry because he is too young” (and you are ten years older).
Or “You shouldn’t marry because he is still studying” (and you were even his teacher). Or “You shouldn’t
marry because he has a calling” (and you are snatching him from God).

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But instead his mother said, “We can’t give you permission because his brother had just gotten married.
In the theology of the Cordilleras, if siblings marry within the same year, one of the marriages will fail.
The community will blame us if we allow you to marry.”

[8] So I called my mother, who promptly came to my rescue, writing them a demand letter based on a
fallacy: “If your child were the woman in this situation, you would rush to marry them!” I’m sure she was
so eager to get me married off because she knew it was a fluke.
[9] What was most ridiculous (though I refused to see it at that time), was that I was a self-proclaimed
lesbian feminist. Despite all the tragic relationships I had had with women, I still believed that it was
worth fighting for the right of a woman to love another woman. What business did I have getting
married to a very young man? And for all the wrong reasons. Must have been oxytocin overdose
sponsored by the baby in my womb. Or a planetary alignment exerting mysterious forces on my
consciousness. Or, gasp—Love!

[10] Whatever it was, it came to pass. My mother didn’t have to bring my grandfather’s rifle. But I had
to do it all on my own: filing the license, finding the Judge, buying the rings, reserving a restaurant,
paying for everything. It was a good thing his parents didn’t allow us to tell anybody about the marriage
– that way I didn’t have to invite anyone — which lessened my expenses. I had to understand that they
had spent all their savings for his brother’s recent wedding, where they had butchered eight pigs for a
traditional Igorot wedding feast. And after all, lest we forget, we were getting married against their will.
But hey, there they were, on hand to sign the marriage certificate in the sala of the Honorable Judge
Fernando Cabato of La Trinidad, Benguet.

[11] The ceremony itself was quick – but peppered with omens. First, when the court clerk asked for my
mother-in-law’s name, I told her “Constancia” – because I figured that was where her nickname
“Connie” came from. When I asked my nervous groom, he agreed. When the Judge confirmed the
information, “Constancia” objected because her name is actually “Conchita.” Judge Cabato made the
correction and lectured us about how important it is not to make errors in a legal document. Then,
when it came to my father-in-law’s name, the Judge refused to believe that “Johnny” was his real name.

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[12] When he asked for the rings, my groom gave him the little box, but when the Judge opened it, it
was empty. The elderly honorable Judge sat down and asked, “Is this a prank?” It turned out that the
rings had slipped out of the box and were floating in my groom’s pants’ pocket.

[13] When it was time for the wedding kiss, the Judge “got even” with us. He pronounced us husband
and wife and then said, “No more kissing, it’s obvious there’s a deposit in there!” Then he laughed
hearty congratulations. I wonder now how many times he has regaled a party crowd with our story.

[14] At the reception in a Chinese restaurant, we occupied only one round table, with only ten guests.
The pancit canton was very good. We didn’t get any gifts, except for a framed copy of 1 Corinthians
13: “Love is patient, love is kind… love does not keep a record of wrongs…” It wasn’t the wedding of my
dreams, but the whole event cost me only Php 2,500. It was as do-it-yourself as DIY could get. That
didn’t include the cost of the wedding rings, for which I had to sacrifice some of my old gold jewelry. The
irony of it escaped me at the time; but for a modern woman on a budget, there was no room for finesse.
Thus we began our married life: full of contention, confusion, and concealment.

[15] We couldn’t live together immediately; nor was I allowed to be seen in their little neighborhood,
where everyone knew everyone. A very pregnant stranger ambling up and down the steep Upper
Mangga Road would have been a conspicuous mystery. I continued to live alone in my apartment, with
my husband staying weekends, and I pretended in school that my husband is from Manila. I’m not sure
anyone actually believed the drama, but I was bathing in first-baby-love, so I couldn’t care less.

[16] My other Igorot friends assured me that when the baby is born, my in-laws would finally accept me
as the mother of their grandchild. But as I said, I couldn’t care less. I was a Manila girl – I truly believed
that our marriage would succeed even without his parents’ approval of me. I was used to flouting norms
and not needing anyone. And for his part, my husband argued existentially that we should live by the
integrity of our own little family. You see, he was a Philosophy major under the tutelage of two young
Jesuit-educated instructors, who had come to the mountains from Manila to indulge their fantasies
about love and teaching (in that order). We, the migrant teachers, smiled at each other in the College of
Human Sciences silently acknowledging each other’s foolishness; ignoring the fact that most of the other
“native” faculty members looked askance at the three of us.

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[16] When our daughter was born, we decided it was time to move into the family home. In the
innocent presence of the new half-Igorot baby, all would be forgiven. It seemed the most practical thing
to do. But I soon realized how naïve we were. We didn’t take into account all the new wrongs that could
be committed while sharing one household.

[17] Before I got married, I had a dog – a black mongrel I had named “Sapay Koma,” which is Ilocano
for “sana.” It is both a wish and a prayer – difficult to translate into English, unless in context. Koma was
my companion throughout the two years I had lived in my dank, quirky apartment – the mute witness to
the drama and dilemma preceding my decision to marry. We took him along with us in our move, of
course. But the five other dogs in the new household didn’t like him all that much and they all raised
such a nonstop racket, none of the humans could sleep, particularly the newborn baby.
The neighbors offered to buy him for Php 500. Igorots like black dogs because the meat is tastier. I was
aghast. He was my dog, my loyal friend. If anyone was going to eat him, it should be family. So my
husband invited his friends over to put Koma out of his misery.

[18] I locked myself in our little bedroom with the baby, while they did it. But despite the closed
windows, I could still smell the burning hair and later, the meat cooking. The putrid scent seemed to
stick to my nose for days after, accusing me of betrayal. I wept for Koma and for all that was dying in the
fire – all the wishes that had no place in my new life. I decided that this was the price for what Filipinos
like to call “paglagay sa tahimik.”
[19] It took two hours for the meat to be tender enough to eat and when we all sat down to dinner, I
was glad they didn’t expect me to partake of the canine feast. Yet I did. I took one mouthful, which I
swallowed quickly without chewing, so I wouldn’t have to relish the flavors. I may have had the stomach
for it, but I didn’t have the heart. I only wanted to show them that I respected their culture, even though
in fact, I would never belong. Also, I was hoping that this way, Koma would forgive me for having failed
him, for offering him as a sacrifice at the altar of my marriage. This way, we could be truly together.

[20] For weeks after, every time I overheard my husband reply “Aw, aw” to his father, I would shiver at
the prospect that we would have dog for dinner again. They had five other dogs, after all. Luckily, it
turned out that “aw” only means “yes” in their language, Kankanaey. Besides, they only butcher dogs on
very special occasions. Ordinarily, there was always the savory chicken soup dish, Pinikpikan, which

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features a similar charred skin aroma and taste. I was quite relieved to learn that his father did not
require beating the chicken to death with a stick before cooking, as is customary in the Igorot culture.
To this day, I have not been able to care for another dog. I do, however, have another child. By the same
man. Accidentally. It happened on Father’s Day, when we thought having sex was a nice distraction from
the confusion that arose from our growing discontent with the marriage. When we found out about the
pregnancy, we agreed, albeit reluctantly, that it was Divine Intervention – a sign that we should keep
trying to save the marriage.

[21] It was not just the food that was strange. I couldn’t understand why every day, some relatives
would come over and expect to be fed. I had not been raised in an extended family, and even within our
nuclear family, we pretty much kept to ourselves. In my mother’s house, we were trained to share
through “one for you, one for me, then stay out of my bag of goodies.” You can imagine how I felt the
day they served my Gardenia whole wheat bread to the “relatives,” who promptly wiped it out, because
my peanut butter was delicious.

[22] Not that I was being selfish. Aside from the fact that I didn’t have any bread for breakfast the next
day and the house being a ten-minute hike uphill plus ten kilometers to downtown Baguio City, I fumed
about not even being introduced to these relatives as the wife of their son. They would introduce my
daughter and her yaya, but I remained a “phantom of delight” flitting about the house.

[23] When I confronted my husband about the bread, he explained that in the Igorot culture, everything
belongs to the community. So I took a permanent marker and wrote my name on my next loaf of bread.
It was a Saussurean signifier of sorts – and it was unforgivable.

[24] My father-in-law was a man of few words. In fact, my daughter was already two years old when he
decided it was time to acknowledge my existence and say something to me. In the past, he would use an
intermediary (usually my husband) if he wanted to get information from me. It wasn’t too difficult
because by this time we had already moved to Manila and were living in my mother’s house – which was
another disaster and another story. It was Christmas Eve and we were spending the holidays in Baguio
City. He was watching a replay of a boxing match and I was playing with my daughter in the living room.
He asked, in Ilocano, “Do you have a VCD player at home?” I was so shocked I couldn’t reply
immediately. He repeated the question in Tagalog. It turned out he was giving us the VCD player he had

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won in a barangay raffle. That night, as the entire family sang their traditional “Merry Christmas To You”
to the happy birthday tune, I felt I was finally getting a fair chance to prove that I was worthy of being in
their cozy family.

[25] In our six years together, I can think of more instances in which our separate worlds collided and
caused aftershocks in my marriage. But none of it rivaled what I thought was the worst affront to me.
My mother-in-law is Cancerian, like me, so her house is a pictorial gallery of her children and their
achievements. She had a wall with enlarged and framed wedding photos of her children. Through the
years, her exhibit grew, and expectedly, I and my husband didn’t have a photo on this wall. I figured it
was because we had not had a church wedding. In fact, when we told them I was pregnant with our
second child, they requested that we hold a church wedding already. They even offered to share the
expense. But I preferred to save my money for the birth of the baby. However, given my theater
background, I once tried to convince my husband to just rent a gown and tuxedo and then have our
“wedding” photo taken so we’d finally get on “The Wedding Wall.” But he has always been the more
sensible half of our couple.

[26] One day, though, a new picture was added to the wall. It was a studio photo of his eldest sister, her
American husband, and their baby boy. It wasn’t “The Wedding Wall” anymore; it was now the “Our
Children and their Acceptable Spouses” wall. It was their version of the Saussurean signifier. The
message was loud and clear – to me and to other people who came to visit.

[27] I wonder now why it so mattered to me to be on that wall. I guess I felt that after all those years,
we had been punished enough for defying the culture. Maybe I actually believed in 1 Corinthians 13. Or
perhaps I also needed to be reassured that I was indeed happily married.

[28] I confronted my husband about it and demanded that he finally stand up for me and our family.
And he did – he wrote his parents a letter that made his mother cry and beat her breast. We each tried
to explain our sides, finally coming to terms with the bitter past. They told me that they are simple folk
and didn’t mean to ostracize me; that when they agreed to the marriage, they accepted me as part of
the family, no matter what. I believed them. I told them I was never going to be the woman they had
probably wanted for their son; but that I am a perfectly good woman, most of the time. We tried to
make amends. Our family picture was up on the wall within three days. Our kids were quite pleased.

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[29] But it was too late. By then, my husband and I had been grappling with our own issues for the past
five years. He had gotten tired of my transgressions and sought solace with his friends. After coming
home late from another “Happy Hour” with them, I screamed at him, “What happy hour? Nobody is
allowed to be happy in this house!” It was then we both finally realized that we had to face the truth
about our marriage. By the time his parents were willing to start over in our journey as a family, we had
given up on ours.

[30] Most couples find breaking up hard to do. It was particularly hard for us because we had to
convince his parents that it was not their fault. On the other hand, I had to deal with the fact that maybe
my marriage did fail because of the “curse” of the superstition “sukob sa taon” – that maybe we were
wrong to insist on our choice. Yet on good days, I am pretty sure it was a perfectly “no fault divorce,” if
there ever was one.
[31] “Kapag minamalas ka sa isang lugar, itawid mo ng dagat” goes the Filipino proverb. Perhaps the
salt in the sea would prevent the bad luck from following you. So today I live with my two Igorot children
in Davao City – fondly called “the promised land.” Everyone is astounded when they learn that I had
moved even though I knew only one person here – who didn’t even promise me anything. I just wanted
a chance to start over. When we moved into this house, it had a small nipa hut in the backyard. The kids
enjoyed staying there during the sweltering hot Davao afternoons, especially when their Daddy called
them on the phone. But it was nearly falling apart and was host to a colony of termites that had actually
begun to invade the house as well.

[32] My generous landlady soon decided it was time to tear down the structure. When I got home one
day, it was gone. All that was left was a dry and empty space in the yard; yet everything looked brighter
too. We missed the “payag;” but soon the grass crept into the emptiness and we began to enjoy playing
Frisbee in the space that opened up. It was a Derridean denouement of sorts.

[33] Last year, we spent our first Christmas without any family obligations. It was liberating not to have
to buy any gifts for nephews, cousins, in-laws. All the shopping I did was for my children. I was
determined to establish my own Christmas tradition with them. I wanted to show them we were happy.
I wanted them to grow up never having to sing “Merry Christmas To You” ever again. I decided to
cook paella for noche buena as if my life depended on it. I thought it was simply a matter of dumping all
the ingredients in the pan and letting it cook – like the aftermath of a failed marriage.

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 EL 9 / English 112 Language, Culture, and Society, NCC Module 1

[34] The recipe was so difficult I ended up crying hysterically, asking myself over and over, “what have I
done?” My kids embraced me and said, “Nanay, stop crying na.” But I couldn’t. It seemed as if it was the
first time I had let myself cry over what I had lost. I noticed though, that the kids did not cry.
Embarrassed with myself, I picked myself up from the river of snot that was my bed and finished what I
had set out to do – as I always have. It even looked and tasted like paella, despite the burnt bottom. But
next year we’ll just order take-out from Sr. Pedro (Lechon Manok).

[35] That night, my mother-in-law sent me a text message saying they are always praying for us to get
back together, especially for the children’s sake. I do not know how to comfort her, except to keep
saying that we had all done the best we could at the time; that we are always trying to do the right
thing; that despite what happened, or perhaps because of it, we will always be a family. Of a kind. We
are, after all, inextricably linked by a timeless story and “sapay koma.”
Each of us in this story nurtures a secret wish to have done things differently – to have been kinder,
more understanding of each other’s quirks and shortcomings. But it takes less energy to wish it
forward. Sapay koma naimbag ti biag yo dita — to hope that your life there is good.

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