I’ll show you

crazy

by

PRINCESS LIAN MTHIKIRA

I still remember the first day Chad joined our class. He was just the real definition of a nerd. A
little white boy with glasses on with the nerdy smile that matched his nerdy dressing. Being the
only white boy in the class, he sure got some attention to himself. Not the right kind if you ask
me.

Before long, the big lazy boys had started using him for their own advantage. Making him write
their assignments so they can get the credit like it was their own work. And since he was just a
weird looking kid in the first year trying to fit in, he endured all the nonsense.

One day as I was passing through the corridors, I heard the voices of the lazy boys in one of the
classrooms. They sounded angry. I peeped in and saw that Chad was the one being shouted at for
not finishing one of the boys’ assignment. I stood in the doorway and listened to the whole thing.
Chad was defenseless and just sat there like a little idiot taking all that nonsense.

“Can you just stop it already?” I said loud enough for everyone to hear. All the boys looked at
me.

“This isn’t your business so please get out of here or else….” One of the boys said.

“Or else what? You don’t scare me” I cut in. “Can’t you just let him be and maybe start working
on your grades yourself? You know all of you could be expelled if this dirty behavior of yours
was made known to the principle, yeah?”

“Ha-ha, you wouldn’t dare” another boy laughed

.
“Oh, you know I would. So why don’t you just leave the little boy alone and all this will be
history or say goodbye to your education and bring shame to your poor mothers back at home”.

The boys didn’t dare respond but just looked at each other and walked out.

“Are you okay?” I asked Chad.

“Yeah I’m okay. Thanks for standing up for me. That was so brave” he said.

“Don’t mention it. My name’s Thandie”.

“Name’s Chad. Mind if I join you in whatever you are doing?”

“No not at all. I just made you breakup with your old friends, you might need a new one”.

He just smiled.

And from then on we became so close. He was more of a best friend. We did everything
together. I met his parents and he met mine. But still, after all we’ve been through he still
decided to hurt me in this way.

A chill run down my spine as I looked at the blank but already signed cheque he left me to fill
whatever amount my heart desired. All this to shut me up. I still couldn’t believe Chad had done
this to me.

A rivulet cascaded down my face as I recalled what happened that night. My body shivered as I
felt the pain in between.

I had just been through a very nasty divorce and Chad being a very good friend to my ten-year
old daughter and I, paid a visit to comfort me and help me get through it. I swear Chad had
always been there for me through everything. No wonder my daughter also loved him. He treated
her like his own.

After dinner, we put my daughter to bed and headed back to the living room for a glass of wine
and some chitchat before he left.

“So, how are things holding up?” he broke the silence.

“Uuum all good we can say, lost a lot of money just to get custody for my daughter after the
divorce but I’ll bounce back eventually” I answered.
“That’s a bummer. You know you can talk to me if you need anything right?”

“Yeah but I don’t want to be a burden to you. I’ll be fine.”

“But maybe we can work something out and get you some money tomorrow”

“How much are we talking about here? And what are we doing to get it?”

“Any amount you want. I’ll give you the money and since you don’t like the idea of free money,
you’ll do something in return”.

“Something like what?” I asked, getting confused.

“You and I, you know, make love”.

“Oh dummy stop joking around” I laughed.

“I’m not joking”.

I looked at him and realized that he really was being serious. Wasn’t he supposed to be my friend
though? Why would he want to treat me like a prostitute now?

“And how is that making love if you’re going to pay me off? No, I’m not going to stoop that low
just to get money. I’d rather work hard for it”.

“Come on. Nobody will know and you’ll have your money in no time. Even tonight”.

My blood started to boil. Stomach started to churn.

“Who are you? Aren’t you supposed to be my friend?” I asked with anger.

“Yes I’m still your friend and that’s why I’m giving you this good deal” he answered.

“You call that a good deal? Chad get out of my house”. I said while standing up.

“It doesn’t have to get to that”.

“I said get out before I hit your head with this bottle”.

“Alright fine. I’m leaving”. He put his hands up in surrender and stood up to leave.
I couldn’t manage to look at his face, he disgusted me to the max. And maybe that was the
mistake I made because before I knew it, he tripped me and I fell to the floor and he pushed
himself on top of me.

“What are you doing?” I asked as I struggled to get him off me.

“I’m getting what I want. Relax” he said.

“Wait. What? Are you trying to rape me?”

He didn’t respond but continued to pin me down, with more force this time.

I tried to push him off, kick him and all sorts of things but to no avail. The wine I just had made
me powerless and he overpowered me. He lifted my dress up and pushed himself inside me. I
screamed and cried and as he did all that but he still wasn’t moved.

It was over before I knew it and he got off me. I sat up and hugged my knees. Not knowing how
to react. My body was shaking all over. Not from pleasure, but from pain and anger. I felt
betrayed. How does one just wake up and decide to hurt the people that love them? Thoughts
flashed through my mind, not giving me a chance to react correctly to the situation.

“I’m sorry but you gave me no choice” he said at last.

“What do you mean I gave you no choice?” I asked with tears in my eyes.

“I’ve always liked you, okay? I’ve always admired that beautiful black body. That heroic act of
yours in college turned me on but I knew I had no chance with you. I asked you politely with an
offer but you said no so I had to use my chance”.

“That didn’t give you the right to hurt me in this way”.

“I know and I’m sorry”.

“You’ll pay for this Chad. You’ll get jail time for this”.

“No, no, no, you can’t do that. I can’t afford to have my reputation ruined like that. There has to
be another way to solve this. Here’s a cheque, fill in any amount you want but just don’t bring
this out. You know you need the money”.

“What is wrong with you? So you think you can silence me with money just because I need it?”
He just looked at me and remained silent for a while.

“Well you need the money, think about it. But if you decide to take me to court, you won’t like
the consequences” and with that he left my house.

And just like that, Chad wasn’t the guy I knew anymore. My brother’s advice started to ring in
my head. The same thing he told me over and over again. He always told me that men are
unpredictable. That their ‘thing’ is unpredictable, that it has a mind of its own and that I should
never assume that a particular guy wouldn’t try to get into my pants. And sadly, I had to
experience it the hard way. The guy I thought was my best friend raped me and as if that wasn’t
enough, he offered me money for my silence and then threatened me.

“Is this the price I get to pay for being a woman?” I thought to myself. “I just have to report this.
He’s not going to get away with this”.

I staggered to my room to get my car keys ready to go to the police station when suddenly, the
sad reality of our society kicked in. This society doesn’t favor women, patriarchy always wins. I
knew the court would take his side, I mean, he’s white, rich and also he’s a man. I knew I didn’t
have a chance of getting the justice I deserve.

I threw myself on my bed and sighed, thinking of all the women that might be going through the
same thing right then.

“The same men that claim to love their mothers to death are usually the same men hurting their
mother’s gender, how hypocritical” I said to no one in particular.

“This guy has to pay one way or the other, I can’t let him go free just like that. But how? I got no
one on my side to help me” I thought.

“These people would say I seduced him anyways” I said just as I caught a glimpse of my mini
dress that showed a bit of my thick thighs. “So what do I do now?”.

………………….
Two weeks passed without any word from Chad. A part of me missed him and had to know how
he’s doing. Is he okay like nothing happened or is he so deep in guilt that he can’t even go out? I
had to know somehow so I decided to give him a call.

“Hello?” he answered on the third ring.

“Umm hi, how are you?” I asked.

“I’m great. I didn’t expect you to call me, you know?”

“I just wanted to say hi and Cynthia has been asking why you didn’t pay a visit these past
weeks.” I felt a sharp pain in my heart saying that out. So he was ‘great’ after what he did to me?
He didn’t even try to explain himself.

“Well, I thought it was going to be very awkward”.

“Don’t be silly, please come for dinner tonight. My baby misses you”

“Oh, umm, alright I’ll be there” he hesitated.

“Great. See you later.”

With that I hung up and thought how awkward it was going to be, sitting across the guy that
raped me in my own house without thinking of plucking his eyeballs off with a fork. I just smiled
and hoped for the best.

I heard a knock on the door and a happy scream from Cynthia and knew at once that Chad had
arrived. Taking one last look at the mirror admiring how the red dress accentuated my perfectly
shaped figure, I smiled. I was dressed to impress, hoping to catch the fish.

“Mommy you look pretty. Doesn’t she, uncle Chad?” Cynthia said as I walked into the living
room.

“Well yes, little pumpkin, she looks amazing” Chad answered.

I just smiled. Looking at him brought back the memories of that night making me choke on my
words. But I had to be strong.
“The dinner is already set, we don’t want it to get cold, do we?” I said at last.

“Baby, why don’t you go get ready for bed while uncle and I have a little chat hey?” I said to
Cynthia after we were done with dinner.

“Isn’t he going to take me to bed this time around?” she asked.

“No not tonight. Now move along. Don’t forget to brush your teeth”.

She left, running to her room and I was just there, looking at the guy in front of me. Not knowing
how to start the conversation.

“So, how is everything?” I finally broke the silence.

“Everything is fine just that I don’t know why you’re suddenly being all nice to me. Inviting me
over for dinner after what I did” he answered.

“Well for starters, if I remember clearly, you apologized and I forgave you. Isn’t that what a
Christian woman should do?”

“I guess so”.

“I also have something to talk about. Something you said on that night.”

“Go on” I saw the panic in his eyes and how his breathing changed.

“You mentioned about liking me since college and that really got me thinking. I thought about
all the moments we had together. The tough times and the good times. You were always there for
me no matter what. You always comforted me every time I had a fight with my ex-husband. And
on top of that, you were the only one that came when I was in labor. How did I not notice that
you had feelings for me after all those signs?” I said with tears mounting my eyes.

“Do you have a gun or knives nearby? Because this is really weird and I feel like you are trying
to pull a surprise attack or something” he moved inches away from me, inspecting me.

“Ha-ha-ha no silly, I’m not trying to attack you. I’m just saying how foolish I’ve been over the
years. Maybe you might be the man for me”.
“Are you being real right now?”

“Yes. I mean, Cynthia likes you so much. I bet she would be happy if we started dating”.

“Are you asking me out?”

“Duh don’t be slow. If you are not comfortable with going all the way, we can just try a few
dates and see how that goes”. I smiled at him hoping he wasn’t about to turn me down.

“I guess a few dates wouldn’t hurt” he answered with hesitation.

I just smiled once again not knowing how to react. Was I supposed to hug him? was I supposed
to kiss him? or just sit and wait for him to do something? I didn’t know.

After a few drinks, he decided to leave. He said goodbye to Cynthia and then left.

The next three weeks Chad and I went on a number of dates and damn was Chad a good guy. He
took me to places my ex never took me to and spoiled me like nobody’s business. I really do
recommend a guy like Chad to all the single ladies out there.

So one night after dropping me off at home, he finally made it official. We were now in a
relationship thanks to my courage and feminine charm of course.

When we were just casually dating, Chad kept asking if he would spend the night at my place but
I being a real Malawian lady, I kept saying no. But since we were now in a relationship, I figured
letting him spend the night wouldn’t be a bad idea.

“Hey Thandie, how are you?” he answered on the third ring.

“Oh I’m alright and how are you?”

“I’m great now that you called”.

I rolled my eyes at his dorky flattery.

“Just wanted to ask, will you be busy tomorrow night?” I asked.

“No not really, why?”

“I really wanted you to come over and maybe spend the night” I hesitated at that.
“Really? I’d be a fool to say not to that. I’ll be there at seven”.

“Good then. Talk to you later”.

I hung up and smiled. He was so excited to come over I couldn’t help but feel great at how good
I got him hooked.

I woke up the next morning feeling so good about the day ahead.

“The weather is just perfect” I said to myself just as I got kissed by the morning sun.

Got back home from work in the evening and started making sure I had everything I needed for
the big night before Chad came over.

Chad arrived and we had dinner and a little chat together with Cynthia. I looked at how these two
people clicked and felt bad for my little daughter. After it was her bedtime, I put her to bed and
made sure she had gone to sleep before I went back to Chad.

“Oh my, you look so fine” Chad exclaimed when I walked into the room while wearing a sexy
red lingerie.

“You think so?” I asked while twirling, giving him a better look of this ‘fine’ young woman.

“I know so. I knew I had to expect this but knowing how unpredictable you are I….” he started
to stammer reminding me of how nerdy he used to be.

“Sssh”. I silenced him with a light kiss.

“I have another surprise” I said.

“You do?”

“Uh-huh. Did you like fifty-shades of grey?”

“Yeah I guess”.

“Well, funny story, my ex-husband loved it so much he designed our own sex dungeon”.
“Really?”

“Yeah it has all toys and stuff and that is where we’ll be in the next couple of hours”.

His face lit up. “Then what are we waiting for?”

I took him to the sex dungeon that my ex-husband made to spice up our bedroom life and now I
was about to spice up Chad’s imagination. He was as excited as a puppy that just saw its owner
after a long time. He got into bed ready for the perceived best night of his life.

“But maybe I’m making a mistake. Does he really deserve this?” I thought to myself

“You know I’m getting impatient right?” Chad said.

“Just give me some time I got to find the handcuffs first” I said to turn him on more.

“Oh girl you’re freaky. Who’s getting cuffed?”

“You sure do talk a lot” I said softly as I approached him.

I handcuffed him to the bed, got on top of him and started kissing him.

“Wait I forgot something” I broke the kiss as he started to heat up. “Another toy I love using”.

“Are you going to stop surprising tonight?”

“Oh you have no idea” I smiled and left.

“This is one of the toys we’ll be using baby boy” I said while I held a knife up.

“What is that for?” Chad’s eyes widened with terror.

“This thing will get you talking”.

“Talking about what?”.

“Why you raped me. I was your best friend”.

“Can’t we talk about this without the knife and please remove these handcuffs” he started to feel
uneasy and I liked it.

“So you’re going to listen to me this time?”

“Yes”.

“No, you stay handcuffed and I keep the knife. Now talk, how do you sleep at night knowing you
hurt your friend like that?”

“I’m not proud of what I did too and it does hurt me”.

“Liar. You didn’t even give a sincere apology. You offered me money instead and then
threatened me”.

“Yeah well I couldn’t afford to tarnish my image like that and you needed the money, you have
just been through a nasty divorce and you’d use the money”.

“So you don’t see what you did wrong?”

“To be fair, I did you a favor”.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you”.

My blood boiled so much that I walked over to him and grabbed his left nipple and pulled it.
“What are you doing?” he asked me.

“Teaching you some manners. Maybe then you’ll learn how to respect women”.

I pulled it up and cut it off. He screamed his head off that I started to feel bad for him. But I
wasn’t done with this disgusting man.

“Aww poor baby, you know nobody can hear you, right? This room is sound proof.”

“Thandie, why are you doing this? This isn’t you, you weren’t brought up like a monster”.

“Yeah you are right I wasn’t brought up like this but you made me a monster by raping me and
then offering me money for my silence. But look on the bright side, I did keep my mouth shut”.

“But how is this better than being taken to court” he flinched in pain.

“Well my grandfather used to tell me that a woman is supposed to be seen and not be heard. I
listened to him and thought it would be better if you saw me in action other than waste my
energy complaining about a lost cause. And also, this world is so full of misogynists. They can’t
help me. They will find a reason to blame me for your behavior one way or the other. I hate this
world” I said tearfully.

“So you decided to play devil now?”

“Don’t you think I’m a little better?”

“You’re crazy”.

“Ha-ha I’m crazy? Yeah I’ll show you crazy” I said softly and nibbled on his earlobe gently.

“Please stop. Think about what will happen if I get to report this and you go to jail, who is going
to take care of your daughter?”

“And who said anything about you getting out of here? You won’t get out of this place alive”.

“Ha-ha now I know what you are doing”.

“Really?” I asked, surprised.

“You are just playing with me. You’re not going to kill me”.

“You think I’m joking huh?”

He just laughed and that angered me more than I already was.

“I’m not playing” I said and cut his left ear off. And again he cried so loud it made me smile.

“I’m done being scared of you. Show me your worst” he said.

“Don’t dare me, you should be begging me for your life”

“Hah no. I know you aren’t going to kill me. You just want to feed on my suffering and then let
me go”.

“Stop dreaming baby boy. I can kill you in an instant”.

“Kill me then”.

I just stood there and looked at him.

“See. You can’t even come forward. You don’t have the guts. You are a coward. Scared that the
society won’t take your side which is true. They would never take the side of a woman who has
no name in society”.

My blood boiled to the maximum at his brutal truth. I was done being patient with him, I stabbed
him in his chest and started moving to his stomach. I kept stabbing him, venting all my hurt and
anger on him, doing it for all the women out there who are going through the same thing. I cried
knowing God wasn’t proud of me but at the same time I was satisfied. I was still stabbing at the
already dead man when my daughter screamed from the doorway.

“Mom what are you doing to uncle Chad?!” she screamed.

I panicked knowing my daughter has seen the savage side of her dear mother.

“How did you get here?” I asked her.

“I woke up to pee and saw that the light was on in here and the door was open. I saw you hurting
uncle, I saw you cut his ear off. I called the neighbor and she called the police”.

“How could I forget to close the door” I asked myself.

“Go wear your shoes we need to get out of here fast” I told her.

“But mom what about uncle Chad?”

“Let’s leave” I snapped at her.

She run to her room to get the shoes and I went to dress up before the police arrived. When we
were done, I grabbed my keys and headed for the door. The police arrived the same time we
were leaving.

“Hello ma’am, I was informed something bad is taking place here” one of the officers said.

I just looked at them, sweat dripping down my back with fear. I knew it was over for me.
SAY NO TO RAPE