Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh dear brothers and sisters, may Allah

S.W.T Bless all of you.

Im sorry this is probably going to be a long post but i feel like i have to address
this.

My name is Harun and im 15 years old. Ever since i started practicing islam (about
7 or 8 months now) my life has been VERY different. And I don't know maybe it's
because I basically turned my whole life around within a week and this change is
still taking effect on my mind and body, but (and i feel bad to say it) it's been a
huge struggle. Right now im going through such a depressing time, I don't know if
what im doing is right or wrong, i don't spend 1 minute of my day without thinking
about Islam and Allah S.W.T. When I sit down at my computer to play video games or
when i go outside to play basketball, i feel guilty, it's like I have some business
that I haven't discussed with my Lord and that always leads me to feel sad and
anxious and I can't really enjoy my life right now because I feel like im supposed
to be in Ibadah to Allah S.W.T almost all the time. I've quit music, i've quit
watching explicit content because it made me feel wrong, I pray my five daily Salah
on time and I'm staying away from sin for the sake of Allah S.W.T... I don't talk
to alot of people, the friends that I have online can't really understand what Im
going through, my amazing parents I love them but i can't talk to them about this
either because they would be too worried about me. The only person I can really
connect to and talk to about my problems is my sister, but I don't talk to her
about my problems with Islam because maybe she would look at me differently. I was
only muslim by name and one day I tried to pray my 5 daily Salah, I love Salah but
sometimes I see it as a chore, and when I try to connect with Allah S.W.T I get
ugly thoughts that make me feel sad, as if i have committed them. I know this is
waswas of shaytaan and i've reread so many of the same articles and sometimes it
gives me calm but a little while later my problem worsens, I have amazing Salah
maybe like 2 times a week, after this my heart feels so much at ease and usually
what ends up happening is when the next Salah approaches, it ends up being really
bad and gruesome. When im not praying im usually laying around watching islamic
lectures, but when I want to take my mind off of these thoughts I usually go to
some sort of entertainment, which is most of the time my computer and video games.
When I sit down to try to play, i get a bad feeling in my chest, and I can't relax
without not having that feeling, to compensate for not being able to play video
games I just sit around and wait for the next Salah, most of the time im on my
phone watching islamic cartoons or something. My parents think I take it too far
sometimes but I feel like this is what I have to do if I want to be a proper
muslim. Some friends say i've changed because I don't send the same texts anymore,
I would really think before replying to someone how it would affect them and if
it's ok for me to say that. (its not anything explicit, simple conversation). Maybe
im thinking about this too much?

Thank you so much for your time,

Jazakallah Khair.
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PODCASTS FROM SEEMIKEDUNN : impact theory joe rogan jocco flow session
<---------- The hound of Baskervilles is a creature of supernatural origin,
basically what it means is it has ties and relations to ghosts and other
supernatural beings. Its characteristics are that it has dark red eyes and its true
look was never revealed, instead Holmes and his partner Watson only see a dark
figure with a fearsome stare with red eyes.

Dr. James asks Sherlock Holmes to investigate the death of his friend Sir Charles
Baskerville, and pleads with him as he is worried about Sir Charles nephew, the
reason behind Sir Charles death is a heart attack. But Dr James was suspicous
because he saw a expression of pure horror on his face. Dr James also noticed the
gigantic footprints of a mysterious beast, and with this he presented the case to
Sherlock Holmes and his friend/partner in crime Dr Watson to investigate.
The Baskerville family was supposedly under a curse. After a family member called
Hugo Baskerville offered his soul to the devil in exchange of successful abducting
a woman. He was reportedly clawed to death by a giant hound. Sir Charles deeply
belived in the family curse and was apparently running away from something when he
fell into the grace of deaths hands. At first Sherlock didn't really believe in the
case, but after being presented a few more factors he was intruiged and decided to
take the case. Holmes meets with Sir Henry who came from Canada. Henry brings some
scary news, he brough Holmes a anonymous news print that warned him of staying away
from the Moors. One of the more comedic sides of this story is that Sir Henry also
reports that he lost a boot in his London hotel room. It's found out that Sir
Charles was the oldest(eldest) of the three brothers. The youngest one was Rodger,
who's story is belived to end in South America. Childless. While Sir Henry was the
only son of the middle brother. Henry ignores the warning and heads straight
towards the creepy ominous hall. Sherlock and Watson decide to follow Henry, while
following him they noticed a man with a beard following him in a cab, Sherlock and
Watson go after the man but he escapes giving Sherlock and Watson a sad look on
their faces.

BDU-609-72976316124