Cruciform Press Sampler. First 6 Books

Cruciform Sampler
Table of Contents

Sexual Detox . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Wrestling with an Angel. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
Servanthood as Worship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45
Reclaiming Adoption . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
Intentional Parenting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
The Organized Heart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94

SEXUAL DETOX
A Guide for Guys Who Are Sick of Porn
Tim Challies
Cruciform Press | Released October, 2010
This book is dedicated to my son’s generation,

a generation of boys who will avoid the allure of
pornography only by the grace of God.
– Tim Challies
© 2010 by Tim Challies. All rights reserved.

CruciformPress.com | info@CruciformPress.com
Sexual Detox
“In an age when sex is worshiped as a god, a little book like this
can go a long way to helping men overcome sexual addiction.”
Pastor Mark Driscoll

Mars Hill Church
“Tim Challies strikes just the right balance in this brief but
necessary work. His assessment of the sexual epidemic in our
culture is sober but not without hope. His advice is practical but
avoids a checklist mentality. His discussion of sexual sin is frank
without being inappropriate. In a day when it can almost be
assumed that every young male struggles with pornography, lust,
and masturbation, this book will be a valuable resource. I’m grateful
for Tim’s wisdom, candor, and grace.”
Kevin DeYoung
Senior Pastor, University Reformed Church, East Lansing,
Michigan; Conference Speaker and author of numerous books,
including The Good News We Almost Forgot, Just Do Something,
and Why We Love the Church
“In an era in which every man is online, pornography is not

just a problem for Christian men; it is THE problem. All men face
the temptation of this mind polluting, heart-hardening, soul-dead-
ening sin. Many men, young and old, in our churches need Sexual
Detox. This is a welcomed book. In a short, compressed format
Challies identifies the toxic nature of this sin and offers practical,
doable and, above all, gospel-centered hope for men. I want every
man I serve and all the guys on our staff to read this book.”
Tedd Tripp
Pastor, Grace Fellowship Church, Hazle Township,
Pennsylvania; Conference Speaker and author of Shepherding a
Child’s Heart and Instructing a Child’s Heart
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Sexual Detox
“The church, the bride of Christ, finds itself in a sexual age.

Much as we Christians might struggle to accept this, sex is very
nearly the dominant cultural currency of our day. Because we know
that this is a perversion of God’s good plan, we might struggle to
accept this reality—and to confront it as we must. Sexual Detox
is just what we need. It is clear, honest, and biblical, written with a
tone that is knowing but kind, exhortative but gracious, realistic but
determined. Those of us who work with youth—the target market
in the sex-saturated society—have been given by Tim Challies a
terrific resource for fighting sin and exalting Christ. We are in Tim’s
debt. Here’s hoping that this book and its emphasis on confronta-
tional holiness will spread far and wide for the health of the church
and the strengthening of marriages both temporal and divine.”
Owen Strachan
Instructor of Christian Theology and Church History,
Boyce College; Co-author of the Essential Edwards Collection
“Thank God for using Tim to articulate simply and unasham-

edly the truth about sex amidst a culture of permissiveness. This
book is simple and biblical in its approach to “detox” us of the lies
we hold onto in this area of sexuality. Read it and believe it.”
Ben Zobrist
All-Star Right Fielder, Tampa Bay Rays
“Tim has worked hard to express these truths simply. You

can thank us for that. He has seen from teaching us that we are
simple guys who need a simple explanation of God’s desires for
our sexuality. We are convinced that if you are a normal guy with
normal guy problems and a normal guy worldview, this book will
be helpful for you, as it has been for us.”
John Cowle, Steve Funston, Nick Mitchell, and Julian Freeman

Twenty-something guys from the church in Toronto where
Tim Challies is an elder (From the Foreword).
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Sexual Detox
Table of Contents
Foreword. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapters
One Reality. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Two Pornography vs. Marriage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Three A Theology of Masturbation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Four Four Gifts of Sex . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Five Detox in the Bedroom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Six Detox in Your Soul . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sources Cited. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Story of the Book . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Cruciform Extra
“Comfort for the Tempted” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
A Sermon by Charles Spurgeon on First
Corinthians 10:13
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Sexual Detox
FOREWORD
Why This Book?
Picture a group of 20-something-year-old guys
sitting in a room brainstorming together on how to
write a killer Foreword for an important book that
has helped us replace worldly lies with biblical truth
about sexuality. As we bat some ideas around, Steve
brings out his famous half-cooked chocolate chip
cookies and sets them before me, John, the token
diabetic of the group. Immediately I am faced with a
decision. Should I indulge and enjoy these chocolaty
delights (the memories of which cause me to slip in
and out of a mini flavour-coma) or should I resist and
do what I know is the best thing for me?
This decision, like all decisions, is based on more
than mere knowledge. It is based on belief. If I take a
cookie, it means I believe that eating it is the best thing
for me—or at the very least, that the pleasure it will
give is greater than the consequences to my health.
In Sexual Detox, Tim Challies addresses men
who know that sexual fantasies, masturbation, and
pornography are wrong, but choose to indulge in
their sin regardless. The purpose of this book is not
to get you to admit that sexual sin is wrong—you
already know that. Instead, the purpose is to move
you to believe biblical truth about sexuality and have
these beliefs determine your decisions.
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Sexual Detox
When you indulge in sexual sin, it reveals what

you truly believe about sexuality. You believe that
the pleasure of sin is better than the pleasure of
obeying God by enjoying sex the way God created
it to be enjoyed. You believe that the pleasure you
derive from your sin is greater than the consequences
your sin will have on you and those around you. You
believe that your momentary pleasure is greater than
the rewards the Lord has for you—both in this life
and in the life to come.
We all know sexual sin is wrong but we need to
understand why it is wrong and that God has created
sexuality for something greater. To help us replace a
worldly view of sex with a God-defined understand-
ing of sexuality is the reason Tim wrote this book.
Why Tim?
Many of you will know Tim from his blog or from
other books and articles he’s written. You will
already know that he is a gifted and compelling
writer, able to present the truths of Scripture with
clarity and conviction. What you won’t know is
what we have all seen through the years we have
known him as a friend, mentor, and pastor. Tim is a
man who works hard to study the truth, to apply it
to his own life, and then to teach what he has learned
and applied in order to help others. Because Tim
believes these things, lives these things, and loves to
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Sexual Detox
bless other men in his life (like us) he is especially

qualified to write this book.
Why You?
We are writing this Foreword to you to commend
this book as highly as we can. Not primarily because
it is some new cure-all, can’t-miss, one-step solution
to all your problems with sexual sin, but because it
represents what Tim has taught us that has helped us:
It is biblical truth. And that alone is what will change
your heart, your desires, your beliefs.
Tim has worked hard to express these truths
simply. You can thank us for that. He has seen from
teaching us that we are simple guys who need a
simple explanation of God’s desires for our sexuality.
We are convinced that if you are a normal guy with
normal guy problems and a normal guy worldview,
this book will be helpful for you, as it has been for us.
The bottom line is that when we believe in our
hearts that the biblical view of sexuality is better than
our sinful view of sex, we won’t cease to be tempted,
but we will stop indulging in sin. When we believe
that the joy of obedience and the rewards of purity
are greater, the draw of sexual sin will be lesser. When
we believe all that God has planned for us and our
sexuality we will, in Christ, become conquerors over
temptation.
If that sounds like something you need, then we
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Sexual Detox
encourage you to take this book, to read it, and to

have your mind and your heart detoxified, purified,
and made ready for service to God who made you a
sexual being—for his glory.
John Cowle, Steve Funston, Nick Mitchell,
Julian Freeman
Members of Grace Fellowship Church
Toronto, Ontario
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Sexual Detox
One
REALITY
I often thank God that I grew up in the years

before the Internet was in every home; I’m not sure
I would have handled it very well. It’s not like I’m
ancient, either, but my thirty-four years do mean
that I was born and raised in a different world. It is
difficult to quantify or even qualify how the world
has changed since the web tied us all together into
this strange and elaborate network of bits and bytes,
but I do know that nearly every area of life has been
touched by it. We do not have the old world plus
the Internet; we have a whole new world. Even
something as human as sex has been radically altered
by this digital reality.
Teenagers in the 90s (when I was growing up)
were not much different from teens today. We
wanted the same things—we just had to work a little
harder to get some of them. If we wanted to see por-
nography (and we did), the process usually involved
at least two kids working in tandem. One would
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Sexual Detox
distract a shopkeeper while the other tried to steal a

magazine from the rack at the back of the store. The
appointed thief would have to pick up the magazine
silently, shove it down his pants, and walk out of the
store without being spotted. This was dangerous,
high stakes work that, if anything went wrong, could
easily result in a really awkward meeting between
you, your parents, and the police.
Today, as you know, unless there are unhackable
firewalls or sophisticated filters, a guy needs only
to turn on his computer and, within two or three
clicks of the mouse, he can have unlimited access to
unlimited amounts of pornography. Porn merchants
established a beachhead on the Internet in its earliest
days, and have been aggressively building their
billion-dollar digital empires ever since. As a result,
it is actually far more difficult to avoid pornography
than it is to find it, and it would be literally impos-
sible for one person to watch all the pornography
being created today; there would not be enough
hours in the day or days in the year. Not even close.
Needless to say, teens, and teenage boys in particular,
are quick to sample this illicit feast.
Even pre-teen boys are being drawn in. From
the first awakenings of sexuality, many pre-teens
are inundated with pornography. These are not
the images of coyly posed naked women that were
common a couple of generations ago, but hard-core
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images that are often crude, base, and degrading.

The sexuality of a whole generation of children is
being formed not by talks with their parents, not
by reading the kind of book I was given as a young
man, but by professional pornographers who will do
anything—anything!—to fuel an increased desire for
increased depravity.
You don’t need to be a conservative Christian
to be deeply troubled by all this. A short time ago I
read an article by a woman who considered herself a
feminist. She insisted that she enjoyed sleeping with
men and thought little of sleeping with a continual
succession of men. Yet she shared what for her was
a growing concern. More and more, she said, the
men she slept with had no real interest in her at all.
They simply wanted her to act like a porn star for
their benefit. They were using her to do little more
than act out their porn-fueled fantasies. There was
no tenderness, no desire for shared intimacy, and
certainly no love. They simply used her body as
a means to a very immediate end. This, she saw, is
quickly becoming the new norm. What seems clear
is that a generation of men, drowning in a cesspool
of porn, has begun forming a new set of expectations
for what they want from women. They want women
to subvert themselves in order to act like porn stars.
The women walk away used, feeling like little more
than prostitutes.
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Sexual Detox
Indeed, because of porn, even prostitutes are

finding their world changing. In the bestseller, Super-
Freakonomics, Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner
devote most of a chapter to the economics of pros-
titution. One thing they have studied is the average
price of specific sex acts charged by prostitutes over
time. It seems that the taboo nature of certain acts has
always claimed a premium. Yet “taboo” is a moving
target. Acts that were once culturally forbidden
because of their exceedingly vulgar and degrading
nature are now accepted as legitimate forms of sexual
expression. Therefore, what was once the most
expensive act is now among the least expensive. In
the world of prostitution, what would by any other
standard be considered normal is now boring and
undesirable. It has been replaced by the invasive, the
degrading.
In the prices charged by prostitutes, Levitt and
Dubner have found a way to measure the speed at
which porn is warping the world’s view of sexuality.
How fast is that? Really fast. From taboo to main-
stream in less than one lifetime. It makes you wonder
what could change in your own lifetime.
Preparing for Detox

So, while it has never been easy being a guy,
today the challenges to guys who want to be holy,
who want to honor God with their minds and
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Sexual Detox
bodies, are tougher than ever. You live at a time and

in a culture that is largely given over to sex. It’s all
around you, and you can hardly avoid its lure.
If you are like most young men, you have
already started to give in to temptation. Perhaps
you have only just begun to look at pornography,
or perhaps you’ve been doing so for many years.
Perhaps you struggle with masturbation. You don’t
really want to indulge yourself, but somehow it’s
a whole lot tougher to quit than you would have
thought. Perhaps you are finding that, more than
ever, sex is filling your mind and affecting your heart.
This book is intended primarily for young men,
married or not, though I think there is benefit for
men of any age. For you single guys, yes, we will talk
a lot about marriage, but for three good reasons—
most of you will get married, marriage is the central
human institution, and sexuality and marriage are
obviously inseparable. So, regardless of the status on
your tax form, I want you to know that despite all the
challenges posed by pornography, there is a better
way, a way of escape. The means of grace God richly
provides can equip you to face the reality and bear the
burdens of living at this particular time in this fallen
world. This short guide can help you discover (or
rediscover) God’s plan for sex and sexuality. I want to
help you track down the lies you have believed about
sex so those lies can be replaced by truth that comes
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Sexual Detox
straight from God, the one who created sex for us. I
hope to help you reorient your understanding of sex,
both in the big picture and in the act itself, according
to God’s plan for this great gift.
I suppose you noticed the word Detox in this
book’s title. Detoxification actually takes place in
your body every day as various organs transform
or get rid of things that aren’t good for you. When
someone has been chemically poisoned or exposed
to too much radiation, the body needs some help,
and detoxification becomes more intentional, more
of a medical procedure. A third kind of detox is the
popular meaning. This kind of detox takes place when
someone is trying to be freed of addiction to drugs
or alcohol. In each case, the basic idea is the same.
Something has gotten inside you that doesn’t belong
there and needs to be removed. If it stays or builds up,
you will only get sicker. You might even die.
Detox is therefore a reset to normal, a return
to health. It’s the reversal of a corrupting, polluting
process. It gets you back to where you ought to be.
A huge percentage of men need a porn detox, a
moral and psychological reset. In fact, I suspect that
a large majority, even of Christian men, share this
desperate need. Are you among them? If so, whether
you recognize it or not, pornography has corrupted
your thinking, weakened your conscience, warped
your sense of right and wrong, and twisted your
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understanding and expectations of sexuality. You

need a reset by the One who created sex.
In this book, I want to help you detox from all
the junk you’ve seen, all the lies you’ve believed. This
is not an easy process. It is rarely a quick process. It
involves a letting go of old realities and an embrace of
a new normal, the original normal. To be willing to
go through it, you need to see how bad your current
situation really is, and how the path you are on leads
to no place good. You need to see that the path of porn
leads only to more isolation, guilt, alienation, and
pain. Whether you are single or married, such a reset
to normal is the only thing that can equip you to ever
become a pure, loving, attentive, sacrificial husband.
But then, you already know you need to change.
Few Christian men indulge in pornography without
realizing they need to quit. Every Christian guy who
looks at porn wants to stop, but many of us want to
stop just a little bit less than we want to keep going.
The problem isn’t knowledge—it’s desire and ability.
And so sin prevails.
Here’s a promise. You will never stop until you
begin to see the monstrous nature of the sin you are
committing. You will never stop until the sin is more
horrifying to you than the commission of the sin is
enjoyable. You will need to hate that sin before you
can find freedom from it. That means you need more
grace. You need to cry out to be changed so you do see
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the monstrous nature of this sin, and then you need to

act, in faith that God will meet you with grace as you
seek to cut off the pornography and begin the reset.
The Monster in Disguise

The issue of pornography is spoken about so often
in Christian circles that it is in danger of becoming
cliché. But the actual human dangers— physical,
emotional, psychological, and spiritual—are realities
we must not avoid or overlook. We simply cannot
allow pornography to become (or remain!) inte-
grated into our lives. We must recognize it for the
monstrosity it is. One helpful way to think about
pornography is to see it as inherently mocking,
violent, and progressive.
Mocking Pornography makes a mockery of
God’s intention for sex. Indeed, all the messages of
pornography go directly against God’s purposes.
Here are just a couple of examples.
• Where God says the purpose of sex is to build

unity between a husband and a wife, pornogra-
phy says it is about fulfilling any perceived need
with any partner, willing or unwilling. Indeed,
pornography teaches that sex is everything
except intimate body-to-body, soul-to-soul
contact between willing spouses.
• God says sexual desire is good in a controlled
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context because it urges a man to pursue his

wife (and a wife her husband). But pornogra-
phy says sexual desire cannot and should not be
controlled, but should be allowed to draw us to
anyone we find attractive.
Violent Pornography reshapes our very under-

standing of sex, of manhood, and of womanhood.
It is inherently violent, inherently unloving. It is not
about mutual love and caring and commitment, but
about conquests and vanquishing, about “having
your way” (a revealing phrase) with someone else.
It tears love from sex, leaving sex as the immediate
gratification of base desires. It lives beyond rules and
ethics and morality. It exists far beyond love. In this
way, it is a perversion of sexuality, not a true form of
it, and one that teaches depravity and degradation at
the expense of mutual pleasure and intimacy.
Is it possible for pornography to resemble an act
of mutual, committed love? Of course, but don’t
even think about using that as an excuse to dismiss
this point. Any honest assessment of pornography
must acknowledge that it has no intention of limiting
itself to such quasi-legitimate depictions. Why?
Because pornography is also progressive.
Progressive This is the very nature of sin, isn’t it?
Sin is always progressive, and Sheol is never satisfied
(Proverbs 27:20). It always wants more. It always
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seeks to break out beyond its current boundaries. If

you give it an inch, it soon seeks to take a mile.
Have you ever been scared by the progressive
nature of your sin? Perhaps there was a time when
you saw how a particular sin was taking you over.
You had thought you were in control of your sin but
then, almost in an instant, you found it had jumped
to the next level. You were no longer in control—sin
was leading the way and you were more and more
just along for the ride, obeying the impulses of the
flesh. It’s a terrifying place to be, isn’t it?
I know beyond doubt that many, many young
men (middle-aged and older men, as well) can testify
to pornography’s power to take control, one level
after another. A man’s first glimpse of porn may be
fleeting—intriguing but short-lived. A naked body is
all the eye needs, and a single glimpse provides plenty
of fuel for a while. But before long the heart craves
more. What was once satisfying is now boring; what
was once gross is suddenly desirable. Along the way,
a person’s whole perception of sex is changed. No
longer does sex involve simple intercourse between
a man and a woman. Instead it becomes a series of
acts, even acts that are in some ways uncomfortable
or degrading.
If you have been looking at porn for any length
of time, I know you can identify with this. Certain
things that interested you at the beginning, that got
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you going, now seem pretty bland. And things that

were once gross are already beginning to intrigue
you. This is the way sin is. This is the way sin
always is. It will always demand more of you. And
meanwhile, as you have been more or less certain that
you’ve been controlling your sin, it has actually been
controlling you. Subtly, unrelentingly, it has reshaped
your mind and your heart in very real ways.
That’s why you need a reset. A return to normal.
A detox.
Clarifying the Promises

The first message of this book, then, is that you
must see what porn is doing to your heart. You must
recognize that the corruption of pornography is
real and, despite the convenient and self-indulgent
little lies we can tell ourselves, that corruption is only
going to get worse. The sin underlying the consump-
tion of pornography will not stop escalating until it
cripples your marriage, or until you die, or until you
get too old and weak to care about sex. The only dif-
ference for single guys? The sin won’t stop escalating
until it destroys any hope you will ever get married.
I want you to hate and fear the realities of por-
nography as you ought to hate and fear the sin itself.
I want you to know that you cannot be a loving
husband, an effective husband, or a godly man as long
as your mind is filled with the lies of pornography.
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I want you to see that you do need to quit

looking at porn, and (even if you’ve already broken
free) that you need to find a new way of looking at
sex. This is because the detox comes in two parts.
This two-step process is familiar to anyone who has
studied what the Bible calls sanctification: there is the
putting off of old ways and the putting on of new—
the rejection of pornography and the embrace of a
godly view of sexuality.
So, what’s the goal? We need to be clear about
where we are trying to go. We need expectations that
make sense in two ways. First, our expectations must
be neither lower nor higher than the realities we see
in Scripture. Second, our expectations must be in
keeping with what’s possible in a short book like this.
First, remember that we are trying to reset or
detox back to a time when porn had little or no hold
on you. You cannot be reset to a state of sinless-
ness, because you were never there! You and I will
always be susceptible to temptation. No program
can deliver from the experience of sexual temptation.
And no plan, program, or discipline can guarantee
that you will never give in to temptation.
Huge, wonderful progress can indeed be made.
When this book talks about being “set free” from
sexual sin, that’s what it’s saying. God wants us to
make that kind of remarkable progress, he’s eager to
give us the grace to do it, and we should strive for it
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with every fiber of our being. But this is not about

perfection. Therefore, stumbles and struggles do
not equal failure. When properly handled, they are
simply part of the progress.
Second, my expertise is limited and this book
is short. All I can do here is try to frame the issue
for you clearly, inspire you to take it seriously, and
offer you a simple path and some next steps based
on scriptural teaching. At the end of the day, I want
you to take ownership of this issue in your own life.
If you do that—if you take seriously the directives
and suggestions in this book, and cry out to God for
grace to implement them and be shown additional
steps—you can have every confidence that God will
be pleased to hear and help you.
Think
I’m going to end each chapter with a Think section.
Especially in this rapid-fire digital age, it’s far too easy
to zip through information we truly need and then
skip on to the next chunk of information, without ever
really reflecting on what we’ve only halfway absorbed.
Pornography is an area where it’s especially
important to be honest. Whether you use these
questions in a group discussion, or just by yourself,
I’ve put them here to help you take a moment to
reflect and, hopefully, to get very real about this.
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1. Let’s get this one out of the way up-front. Have

you ever seen pornography? Yes or no?
2. That was a pretty simple question, so let’s ramp it
up a bit. How did you first see pornography and
how old were you? How many times have you
seen it since?
3. When was the last time that you saw pornography?
Did “it find you” or did you go looking for it?
4. Have you ever been frightened by your sin?
When? How did you react?
5. Have you found that the things in pornogra-
phy that interested you or excited you at first
continue to interest and excite you? Or have
your tastes changed? Be honest.
6. Do you think that your mind, your heart,
or your expectations of your wife (if you’re
married) or your perception of women in
general (if you’re not married) have been affected
by pornography? In what manner?
7. If you’re married, do you think that pornogra-
phy has affected your mind, your heart or your
expectations of your wife? How, specifically?
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Story of the Book: Sexual Detox
This is the book that helped launched an unusual little

publishing company. In fact, the story of this book
and the story of the formation of Cruciform Press are
almost inseparable. Here, in brief, is how it happened
In August of 2009, Tim Challies began a dialogue
with Kevin Meath about book editing. Before long
the conversation between the two freelancers began
to range into the intersection of publishing and
digital technology. Soon the idea of a business was
beginning to form.
In recent years the music industry had been
changed—rapidly, radically, and forever—as technol-
ogy redefined how people obtain and enjoy music.
Something similar had begun to happen in print pub-
lishing, although a little more slowly, with technology
altering how and when we read, as well as our expec-
tations about reading. So the two men decided that, if
they were to start a business, it would have to be built
around the answer to a single question:
What would a book publishing company targeted

to gospel-centered Christians look like if it began
from the realities of 21st century technology?
The idea was intriguing, but both men were too

busy with other projects to pursue it further.
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Sexual Detox
In November, Tim composed a series of blog

posts he called “Sexual Detox.” The result of
numerous long conversations with young men, this
series was used by God to help many young men
identify and deal with the sexual toxins in their lives
due to pornography. Tim subsequently compiled
the series into an ebook. He made it freely available
through his blog, from where it was downloaded
tens of thousands of times.
Responding to repeated requests to make the
book available in a printed format, Tim turned
to Kevin for help. This reignited their conversa-
tion about a company, and they soon realized they
may have already begun working together on that
company’s first book. But the more seriously they
talked about starting a business, the clearer it became
that they would need some help. In March 2010, they
turned to a mutual friend, Bob Bevington, a veteran
of many business startups and a Christian author in
his own right. Bob loved the idea, and a few weeks
later the three began the real work of establishing
Cruciform Press.
Sexual Detox is our first book. Targeted squarely at
men—and not just young men, but men of all ages—
and dealing with an issue of extraordinary scope, it
is our hope that this book will help many more men
understand God’s call on their lives to flee youthful
lusts and to pursue purity. We hope and trust also
27
Sexual Detox
that by the grace of God we will be able to continue

publishing books that are short, clear, creative, and
biblical, books that draw your heart to the unending
glories of the gospel of Jesus Christ, which has rich
application to every area of life.
Sexual Detox
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28
Wrestling with an Angel
29
WRESTLING WITH
AN ANGEL
A Story of Love, Disability and the
Lessons of Grace
Greg Lucas
Cruciform Press | Released November, 2010
To my wife, Kim, whose tenacious love, forgiveness,

mercy, sacrifice, and grace is my greatest earthly
reminder of what the gospel is all about.
– Greg Lucas
© 2010 by Greg Lucas. All rights reserved.

“Witty... stunning...striking... humorous and heartfelt. In our

culture which is so quick to devalue life, Wrestling with an Angel
provides a fresh, honest look at one father’s struggle to embrace
God in the midst of his son’s disability. Can sheer laughter and
weeping gracefully coexist in a world of so much affliction? Greg
knows all about it. And inside these pages he passes on his lessons of
grace to us. I highly recommend this wonderfully personal book!”
Joni Eareckson Tada, Joni and Friends International
Disability Center
“I didn’t want to read this book. I knew these tear-stained but

hope-filled pages would jostle me out of my comfort zone and shake
me up. C.S. Lewis wrote that he paradoxically loved The Lord of the
Rings because it ‘broke his heart’—and Greg Lucas’ writing does the
same for me. And it’s for that reason that I heartily commend this
book—especially for dads. This is just the book many of us need to
taste afresh the goodness of God and the grace of the gospel even as
we long for the day when this broken world will be made right.”
Justin Taylor, Managing Editor, ESV Study Bible
“This is not primarily a book for parents of special needs

children. Only one disability keeps a person from heaven. It is not
physical or mental. It is the sin that lives in our hearts. Jake’s father,
Greg, is a captivating storyteller. When he writes about life with Jake,
I recognize God’s grace and loving persistence in my life. I want more!”
Noël Piper, author, and wife of pastor and author John Piper
“You will laugh; you will cry. You will feel sick; you will feel
inspired. You will be repulsed by sin’s ugliness ; you will be over-
whelmed by God.’s love Greg Lucas takes us on an unforgettable ride
on the roller coaster of Christian experience, as he extracts the most
beautiful insights into grace from the most painful experiences of life.
This brutally honest and deeply moving book helps us to see that we
all have special needs that only a special Savior can supply.”
David P. Murray, Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary
31
“It is the rare book that makes much of God and our depen-
dency on Him while also celebrating His goodness through hard
things. Using his own example of parenting a child with significant
disabilities, Greg demonstrates what relying on a sovereign God
through extreme difficulty and suffering looks like. This book is a
gift to the church, and particularly to men who need an example of
masculine, Biblical leadership in the face of complex, confusing, and
overwhelming circumstances. If you have ever confronted hardship
and questioned God’s goodness, this book provides a real-life
example of trusting in the promises of God.”
John Knight, Senior Director for Development, Desiring God
“Jesus told us that we must suffer with him in order to be

glorified with him. All of us in Christ face different sorts of trials,
but they are all shaping us up for the same purpose: conformity
with Christ. In this book, Greg Lucas gives insight into his own
experience of cross-bearing. A family facing disability, or those who
love and minister to people in such situations, will certainly benefit
from this story.”
Russell D. Moore, Pastor; Dean of the School of Theology,
Southern Baptist Theological Seminary; Author, Adopted for Life:
The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families and Churches
“Greg communicates from a heart that loves Jesus deeply

and does not shy away from the theological challenges his
family context brings. Throughout the pages of this book, Greg
has captured personal glimpses of grace in both amazing and,
seemingly, mundane ways. Amazing as seen in God’s sovereign
hand of protection. Mundane as portrayed in what would normally
be a simple task but with Jake requires great grace. It is the grace
Greg has described as amazing “grace-ability,” on display in their
son’s disability. As the father of a child with special needs, I whole-
heartedly recommend Wrestling with an Angel.”
Justin Reimer, Executive Director, The Elisha Foundation
32
Table of Contents
Chapters
One Break | Equip. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Grace breaks us with affliction in order
to equip us with comfort and compassion
Two Display | Reveal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Grace displays our sin as in a mirror, but
reveals the cross as through a window
Three Routine | Surprise . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Grace surprises us with God’s presence
in the details of our daily routine
Four Opposition | Humility. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Grace humbles us by crushing our pride
through humiliation
Five Gifted | Saved . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Grace saves us by freely and undeserv-
ingly giving what we need to be saved
Six Satisfied | Waiting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Grace satisfies our heart with answers
to prayer while we wait for the ultimate
answer
33
Seven Darkness | Rescue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Grace pursues us into the darkness of
our hopelessness carrying the rescuing
light of the gospel
Eight Protected | Imperiled . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Grace protects us through danger, not
always from it
Nine Released | Gripped . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Grace peels back our fingers to reveal
God’s greater grip of grace on our fragile
life
Ten Future | Present . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Grace walks with us into the future,
revealing the unknown darkness as the
shadowing presence of our Father
Cruciform Extras

Matthew Henry on John 9:1-3. . . . . . . . . . . . .
Two letters from John Newton on
endurance in suffering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
34
One
BREAK | EQUIP
Grace breaks us with affliction in order to equip us
with comfort and compassion
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the
Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all
our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are
in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are
comforted by God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
It sounded at first like something out of an old

horror movie. I thought maybe someone was just
playing around, but then I heard it again and again,
a loud piercing cry, and less like Hollywood every
time. The windows were down in my police cruiser
on that warm fall day, but I still couldn’t tell where
the sounds came from. I began looking around for
the unlikely sight of someone being disemboweled
in a mall parking lot on a Saturday afternoon. Seeing
nothing, and still hearing the screams, I called in a
“disturbance.” Around the next corner I found the
source of the commotion.
A small crowd had their backs to me, watching

what I could only imagine was a horrible fight
between two grown men. As I rolled up to the
scene, I notified 911 of my location and turned on
my overhead emergency lights, hoping to disperse
the brawl with a sudden display of authoritative
police presence. Not until I exited my vehicle, ready
to inflict some defensive tactics if needed, did I
comprehend what was actually taking place.
Sitting in the middle of the parking lot was
a full-grown man with his socks and shoes off,
hitting himself in the face and screaming. An elderly
gentleman was trying his best to collect the socks
and shoes and get him on his feet again. But the
seated man, the much larger of the two, would not be
budged.
It was clear to everyone that the man on the
ground was mentally disabled, and the elderly man
was his father. The onlookers didn’t know whether to
call for help, offer help, or politely walk away. They
seemed relieved that a uniformed official was there to
deliver them from their paralyzing confusion.
I immediately cleared the crowd and asked
the father if he needed assistance. The elderly man
explained to me that he had picked up his son for a
day visit from the group home where he lived.
“I knew better than to go at it alone, but
sometimes he does really well. I wanted to spend
36
some time with him so I brought him to the mall to

get him some new shoes. He was fine until we got to
the parking lot,” said the exasperated dad. “When he
gets upset he takes off his socks and shoes. His name
is Donald.”
At 6’3” and about 220 pounds, Donald was an
imposing figure even while sitting there barefoot
on the asphalt. He was in his mid 30s with a rough
complexion from many self-inflicted scars. His
emotions seemed to calm slightly when I arrived at
the scene, but his face was still contorted with anxiety
as he fumbled with his socks. Donald looked like he
could handle himself all right, along with me and his
father.
I knelt down to his level (even though he would
not make eye contact) and introduced myself. “I’m
Officer Lucas, but you can call me Greg. What’s
going on, buddy?”
Again the older man began nervously explaining
to me what was wrong with his son. I stood up
and tried to listen, but all I could focus on was the
exhaustion and defeat in this father’s eyes. My
attention came back to his words when I heard him
say in a cracked and broken voice, “I’m getting too
old for this.”
I guessed he was probably in his mid- to late-60s,
but he looked to be nearly 80. He was tall and thin
and frail-looking, white-haired and balding. He
37
wore a dark flannel shirt and blue jeans, like an old

farmer come to town for supplies. I could only
imagine the hurt, disappointment, and weariness this
man had experienced over the previous thirty years.
But I didn’t exactly have to imagine everything.
As he turned away for a moment, frustrated with
the scene his son had created, the father muttered,
“I’m so tired.” I paused for a moment to let him regain
his composure. Then I realized why I was there.
“I know what you are going through, Sir,” I said,
recognizing at the moment it escaped my mouth
how cliché it must sound.
“You do?” he said skeptically.
“Yes, I do. I have a son just like your son. He’s
much younger and not nearly as big. But he has
special needs like your Donald, and he throws very
similar fits when he doesn’t get his way. His name is
Jake, and he is my life’s great challenge.”
I placed my hand on the dad’s shoulder and
smiled, “And I know you’re tired.”
I cautiously knelt back down to Donald’s level
and picked up his shoes and socks. I wasn’t sure
how he would react to me invading his space and I
fully expected to be kicked or punched by this large,
confused man. Slowly I un-balled one of his socks
and began putting it back on his foot. To my relief, he
extended his leg in a sort of surrender to let me know
he would comply.
38
I rolled the sock gently over his toes to his heel

and then up to his ankle. His pale, crooked feet felt
cold and damp, and his long, sharp toenails were in
need of a trim.
Probably true to his lifelong routine, he extended
the other foot for me to do the same. Once both
socks were on, I unlaced his large, worn-out tennis
shoes, slipped them on his feet one at a time, and
cinched them up and gave them a double-knot like I
had done for Jake so many times before.
A stark vision from John 13 of Jesus washing His
disciples’ feet flashed across my mind, and I smiled as
I thought to myself that the Lord may have had even
this day and this parking lot in mind when He told
His confused disciples, “What I am doing you do not
understand now, but afterward you will understand.”
I was beginning to understand that there was
much more going on here than a simple police
response to an unspecified disturbance at a mall.
Once the disheveled, child-like man was ready
to get back on his feet again, I asked his dad, “What
does Donald really like?”
“Chicken nuggets and coffee,” he replied. I
turned back to Donald and slowly but excitedly
asked, “How would you like your dad to take you
to get some chicken nuggets and coffee, buddy?” He
gave a silent nod of approval and we helped him off
the ground and into the truck.
39
After buckling Donald in, the elderly man

returned to his side of the truck with a simple
expression of gratitude. He shook my hand and
thanked me in a voice drained of all emotion. I shot
back, “No problem, I do this for a living.”
Despite my official duties that day, I knew from
experience that mostly he was thanking me because
I could offer empathy and not just sympathy.
Sometimes just being aware that someone else
knows—I mean really knows what you are going
through—is enough to bring great comfort in the
midst of great despair. We both smiled with a freshly
strengthened connection as I opened the driver’s
door for him.
Just before climbing into the truck he turned to
me and said, “You know it gets worse, right?”
“What gets worse?” I asked.
“Your son,” he replied. “It gets worse as they
get older and you get older. They get stronger and
you get weaker. You still love them the same, but it
becomes impossible for you to take care of them.
Even short visits become like this—impossible.”
His words crushed me as I began to see myself
in his weary face. I struggled to find some departing
words of encouragement and hope—words for two
desperate dads living in different seasons of the same
struggling life.
“Grace is like that, you know,” I said in response.
40
“It exposes our weakness in order to give us greater

strength. I guess that’s why we all have to depend
on someone a little stronger than ourselves.” At the
moment, it was the best I could do.
“Yeah, I guess so,” he replied contemplatively as
he shut the truck door. “Thanks again, friend,” and
he drove away.
As the two men rolled off the parking lot in the
old pickup truck, I watched the weary dad lift his arm
and place it around the shoulder of his disabled son.
A prodigal never finds love so satisfying and sweet as
he finds it in the unconditional arms of his father.
I returned to my police cruiser, drove to the far
end of the parking lot, and fell to pieces, wrestling hard
against the tears of stored-up emotion liberated though
this unexpected encounter. Through force of will I soon
regained my composure, hoping no one had glimpsed
this tough, stoic, in-control cop crying like an infant.
The thought of it ever getting any more difficult
absolutely devastated me. As hard as it had been,
I had always clung to the hope that someday it
would get better; someday it would get easier. I lived
with an unspoken assumption that someday Jake
would learn to use the bathroom, someday learn to
communicate his needs, someday be less frustrated,
less combative, less compulsive, less confused. That
someday I would be able to hold it all together and
be the dad I ought to be for Jake.
41
The cold, hard truth had hit me like a storm. It

might actually get worse.
My body will get older and weaker and Jake will
get bigger and stronger and more defiant. His needs
will increase as my abilities to care for him decrease.
No matter how frail I get, Jake will never be able to
care for me—it will never be that way with us. Jake
will always need to be taken care of, and someday I
will not be able to give him what he needs.
I hear religious-minded people say all the time
with good intentions, “God will never place a
burden on you so heavy that you cannot carry it.”
Really?
My experience is that God will place a burden
on you so heavy that you cannot possibly carry it
alone. He will break your back and your will. He
will buckle your legs until you fall flat beneath the
crushing weight of your load. All the while He will
walk beside you waiting for you to come to the point
where you must depend on Him.
“My power is made perfect in your weakness,”
He says, as we strain under our burden.
Whatever the burden, it might indeed get
worse, but I know this—God is faithful. And while
we change and get old, He does not. When we get
weaker, He remains strong. And in our weakness
and humility, He offers us true, lasting, transforming,
and undeserved grace.
42
It is this grace that enables us to do more than

survive in this world. Grace enables us to thrive
in the presence of this world’s sufferings while
magnifying the One who breaks us with affliction—
that He might equip us with comfort, compassion,
and strength to give to others.
In the midst of this deep, celestial moment, I
realized I had just experienced a divine appointment.
This was not just a providential assignment for an
empathetic police officer sent to help a weary father
with his disabled son. This was more, a lesson of
grace that would stay locked in my own heart until I
would need it most in the months and years to come.
And I would need it.
In response, I stood for a moment on holy
ground praising the God of mercy and comfort,
asking for more strength and grace for the future
with my own son. My worshipful hymn and prayer
of praise sounded like this:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus

Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all
comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so
that we may be able to comfort those who are in
any affliction, with the same comfort with which
we ourselves are comforted by God.
(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
43

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44
45
SERVANTHOOD
AS WORSHIP
The Privilege of Life in a Local Church
Nate Palmer
Cruciform Press | Released December, 2010
To my wife, Steph, who through her example has

taught me more about service than anyone else. To
my friend Toby Kurth, your encouragement and
help was invaulable. To Emily James, your writing
expertise made a huge impact. To the Pastors and
members of Grace Church Frisco who model
Christian service every day.
-Nate Palmer
© 2010 by Nathan Palmer. All rights reserved.

“In an age where the church can be likened to Cinder-
ella—beautiful, but largely ignored and forgotten—Nate
Palmer’s book forces us to rethink both the church and our
relationship to her. In an age where egocentrism ensures
that we sing, ‘O say, can you see—what’s in it for me?’ on
a weekly basis, Palmer forces us to say instead, ‘How can I
best serve the church?’
Looking at the needs of others rather than one’s
own is possibly the most serious deficiency in the church
today. Reading this book will help redress the deficiency. I
heartily recommend it.”
Derek W. H. Thomas, John E. Richards Professor
of Theology, Reformed Theological Seminary (Jackson);
Minister of Teaching, First Presbyterian Church, Jackson,
MS
“Think of these pages as a handbook. Put this handbook

into the hands of your people and you will give them a
sustainable, practical vision for serving in the local church that
is powered by grace. Along the way, they will also pick up a
mini theological education”
Justin Buzzard, pastor, San Francisco Bay Area; author,
BuzzardBlog.com
“In our media-crazed, me-first culture, the art of the

basin and the towel has been shoved off onto those who get
paid to serve—certainly a call to serve in humility can’t be
God’s will for all of us, or could it?
In this helpful book, Nate Palmer gets at the heart of our
resistance and portrays our dear Savior’s humiliation in his
acts of service for us—not only as our example but also as our
righteousness. I strongly recommend this book.”
Elyse Fitzpatrick, author of Because He Loves Me
Servanthood as Worship
Table of Contents
Chapters
One Servanthood. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Ministry of All Believers
Two Lineage. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Service Began with God in Christ
Three Context. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Local Church is Our Base for Service
Four Glory. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
God’s Character and Works
Five Appreciation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I Can Serve Because I Appreciate Who
God Is, Who I Am, and What He Has
Done for Me
Six Adoration. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I Can Serve as I Desire and Enjoy God’s
Active Presence
Seven Affection. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I Can Serve Motivated by Love for the
Saved and Unsaved
48
Eight Subjection. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I Can Serve Because I Do Not Belong
to Myself
Nine Perspective. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Building the Church Eternal

Appendices
A Comment on Sanctification. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
A Brief History of Service in the Church. . . . .
Notes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
About Cruciform Press. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

49
One
SERVICE
The Ministry of All Believers
“Can you serve in the nursery this morning?”

As you try to pick one of the more plausible excuses
that have popped into your head, you secretly hope
the pastor’s question was theoretical. You know
you should say, “Sure, I will serve anywhere!” but
you just can’t. The last place you want to be is with a
bunch of screaming babies, having to change diapers
and dodge spit-ups while your friends enjoy the
sermon. Why you? Can’t someone else do it?
You’re awakened by an obnoxious alarm clock.
It’s 5:30 Sunday morning, and outside the rain is
coming down in sheets. You must get up, but you
don’t want to. This is what, the third week in a
row? The thought of once again going to help set
up the auditorium in the school where your church
meets is paralyzing. Picking up the van, hauling the
equipment into the building in the rain—you’ll need
to bring extra clothes. You wonder if it is possible
50
to catch the flu before it’s time to leave. Why you?
Can’t someone else do it?
If these situations are at all familiar, I know how
you feel. When I became a Christian at age twenty-
five, I was so happy and energized by the wonder of
my salvation that I didn’t mind serving on Sunday
mornings. I enjoyed it. It seemed only natural that, as
a new member, I would help with the chores. Doing
odd jobs before church seemed like a way to pay for
all the joy and benefit I was receiving. Plus, as part of
a new church plant that met in a school, there were
far more tasks than there were people to do them.
Someone had to serve or we couldn’t “have” church.
And so, week after week, I did my duty.
During those early months of my Christian walk,
however, serving gradually became a mixed bag of
emotions and competing motivations. What started
out as a way to express my joy soon became, in my
mind, a way to manage God. My service was like the
volume knob on a car stereo—I could amplify God’s
opinion of me by serving more. If I’d had a bad week,
frequently giving in to temptation or not reading the
Bible, I would just go to church early and serve. In my
mind, the exchange rate was something like one act of
service for one sin. God will have to like me again once
he sees how hard I’m trying to make up for my failures.
This form of atoning for sin was easier than actually
facing my problems and trying to work on them.
After a few short months I had completely

flipped salvation upside down. I was managing
God and serving myself instead of managing my
responsibilities and serving God. I had rewritten the
rule book to put myself in charge. I had exchanged
Christ’s service on the cross for the merit of my
serving in the church.
As serving became a tedious process of self-
justification, it took a toll on my affections for God
and the church. It became harder and harder to
show up. Hooking up audio cables became pure
monotony. Every Sunday I would do the same thing
and nobody ever thanked me or acknowledged my
effort. No one seemed to care that I got up insanely
early to haul heavy stuff around, only to have to
change out of my completely sweaty shirt. Everyone
else enjoyed their weekends while I toiled. It didn’t
seem fair. I actually began to dread Sundays. The
whole concept of serving became thankless and
meaningless, a colossal waste of time and—let’s not
forget—talent. I constantly asked myself, Why me?
Can’t someone else do it?
It was at this point in my life that I became
addicted to a drug: leadership. I saw that maybe
there really was an upside to serving. Eventually the
church leaders will notice, right? Isn’t it those who
are faithful in the small things who are given greater
responsibilities? Servanthood took on a useful new
52
role—a springboard to leadership in the church—

and mysteriously my vigor for serving returned.
Sure, I was subtle about it, but now all those audio
cables were a means to a new end. Once you’re
already using your serving (you imagine) to manage
God, how much easier is it to manipulate men? As I
served to gain attention, the church leadership would
see my works and place me in some important
position. Serving as a vehicle to advance my personal
ambitions? Let it rain!
In a few short months, my attitude toward
serving had gone from thrilled to ambivalent to
resentful to selfishly ambitious. Why the roller
coaster ride? Largely because I had no clear idea
what the Bible teaches about serving. I didn’t know,
from God’s perspective, why I was doing it. So I did
it for my own reasons.
I know that some churches have essentially zero
expectations that members will pitch in to help.
Other churches have enough resources that there is
little or no need for the average member to serve in
practical ways. But a great many churches follow
the biblical model, which values servanthood in
itself. Are you in a church like that? Then at some
point you will definitely struggle with serving. You
probably have already. Service, of course, can come
in many forms—building maintenance, children’s
ministry, worship music, local outreach, tech
53
support, missions trips, and a hundred others. But

if you don’t really know why you are called to serve
in the church of Jesus Christ, your attitude will be as
unstable and unhealthy as mine was.
In this book, I want to provide the theological
framework that Christians need to understand what
serving in the local church is really all about. When
we are informed by a biblical understanding of
service, it changes everything.
The first thing we need to see is that service is
inescapable. Literally.
Full-Time Servants
Do you realize that serving is a constant activity?
It’s like breathing. There is never a moment when
we are not serving someone. None of us are ever
on the sidelines, waiting to get into the game of
servanthood. Since birth, every one of us has been
actively serving.
Most of the time we are simply serving
ourselves—pouring our energy and hope for
happiness into the nurture of our own desires. But
at each moment, we are serving either the desires of
our flesh or the desires of God. As Paul Tripp states,
“Each of our lives is shaped by the war between the
kingdom of God and the kingdom of self.”1
The conflict is that we don’t want to be
subservient to anyone else’s wants and needs. Not
54
even God’s. This poses a problem, as Jesus points

out, for we cannot obey both God and our own
interests at the same time: “No one can serve two
masters, for either he will hate the one and love the
other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise
the other” (Matthew 6:24). Either we labor for God
or for an entirely different master. This isn’t always
the kind of servanthood I want to embrace. Often I
prefer my own kingdom—the one where I am the
object of worship and I get to define servanthood
(usually as me serving me and others serving me). We
always serve who we see as the king of our kingdom.
That’s why servanthood and worship are essentially
the same thing.
But biblical service requires that we prefer others
over ourselves, that we sacrifice willingly, giving time
and energy that could have been used for personal
benefit to benefit others. Biblical service calls us to
direct our focus outward. In this we imitate Christ,
who served others to the point of death. As I will
emphasize throughout this book, serving God as a
grateful response to the gospel is the calling of every
Christian.
The Vision and the Need

All healthy churches, regardless of size or resources,
seek to integrate their members into the life of
the church through service. These churches see
55
servanthood as both biblical and essential to

church life. There are a lot of established evangelical
churches that take this view, and new ones are started
every day. Approximately 4,000 churches are planted
each year in the United States alone.2Many of these
new churches are started through networks like Acts
29, which saw overall attendance double in 2009
while planting fifty-five churches.3
Regardless of a church’s age or size, a biblical
vision for serving is vital to building a healthy
church. Who are the servants in a particular church
actually serving? What are their motivations? Are
they more interested in serving God’s purposes or
their own? Many churches succeed or fail on the
answers to such questions.
Given the number of existing churches, plus the
explosive growth in the creation of new churches,
there is a huge need for people to serve, and serve
for the right reasons. Pastor and author John Stott
wonders when Christians will recover “the ministry
of all believers”4 in which each Christian exercises his
or her gifts in ministry to others.
Serving in the church is not just the privilege of
the few. It is the call of every Christian’s life. (The
Appendix addresses this subject more thoroughly,
although I suggest you read it later.) Paul writes,
“There is one body and one Spirit—just as you
were called to the one hope that belongs to your
56
call—one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and

Father of all, who is over all and through all and in
all. But grace was given to each one of us according
to the measure of Christ’s gift” (Ephesians 4:4-7).
While roles may be formal or informal, creative or
mundane, physical or intellectual, the goal is the
same: to glorify God and magnify the gospel to the
benefit of others.
Each of us has been given gifts, and each of us
are called to use our gifts as a light before men. When
biblical, gospel-centered service in Christ’s name
is present at the center of a local church, it forms a
brilliant nucleus radiating out into a dark world.
This brilliance is something the church must recover.
That recovery starts with a theological foundation of
servanthood. The purpose of this book is to present
a biblical vision of service so that believers from all
sorts of churches can say, along with Joshua, “But
as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord”
(Joshua 24:15).
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57
58
RECLAIMING
ADOPTION
Missional Living through the Rediscovery
of Abba Father
Dan Cruver, Editor

John Piper | Richard D. Phillips
Scotty Smith | Jason Kovacs
Cruciform Press | Released January, 2011
To my son Daniel, who through his three years of

unrelenting suffering and his untimely death taught
me not merely how to care for the weak and
vulnerable, but how to care for others in and through
my own weakness. Together, my son Daniel and
I eagerly await our adoption as sons, that is, the
redemption of our bodies (Romans 8:23).
– Dan Cruver
© 2011 by Dan Cruver. All rights reserved.

59
Reclaiming Adoption
“Jesus protects the fatherless and the widow. And Jesus

isn’t dead anymore. The Spirit of Christ is afoot in the
churches of the Lord Jesus all over the world, pulling us
into Jesus’ mission for the orphan, the stranger, the margin-
alized. This book is part of that pull. The authors writing
here are some of the most fearless thinkers and activists in
the Christian orphan care movement. Read.
Be empowered. And then join Jesus for the orphans of the
world.”
Russell D. Moore, Author of Adopted for Life
“There is no greater need in our day than theological

clarity. We live in a pragmatic, hype-driven, emotionally
manipulated spiritual landscape. We need the ancient wisdom
of the Bible, not another business book or glory story from
some cool church. Dan has brought us near to the heart of
God, who by His Spirit cries out in our hearts, ‘Abba, Father.’
As you read this book, you will sense the need to embrace
your own acceptance as God’s adopted child.”
Darrin Patrick, Author of Church Planter
“Reclaiming Adoption captures the heart and soul of

what it means to be a child of God, walk as the feet of Jesus
on this earth, and live for eternity with our loving Savior.
Make no mistake, this isn’t simply a book on adoption. It’s
about the reason we were created and how we are to spend
the rest of our days loving others.”
Tom Davis, Author of Fields of the Fatherless
“Reclaiming Adoption is the best kind of theological

work: it sings and it sends! As I read, I wanted to praise
the Triune God for his great love. Then I felt the urgency
of the call to live that love among the world’s orphans.
Completely accessible, Reclaiming Adoption is thoroughly
grounded in Scripture and flows from the great heart of the
60
Church’s historic understanding of the Word. The authors
have uncovered new depths and fresh passion in expressing
how adoption clarifies the meaning of our union with Christ.
Reclaiming Adoption expands our vision to the fuller glory
of the whole narrative of Christ’s work. Thus, this book can
transform the worship, education, and mission of any church
bold enough to explore its truth.”
Gerrit Dawson, Author of Called by a New Name
“A stirring call to be involved in the ministry of adoption

for Jesus’ sake. Gospel-centered. Prophetic. Practical.
Reclaiming Adoption addresses an issue that has transformed
our church as much as any other.”
J.D. Greear, Lead Pastor, The Summit Church, Durham,
NC
“Many Christians today would not invest much

time toward thinking about adopting an orphan. It is not
unrelated that the doctrine of adoption is sadly one of the
most overlooked doctrines amongst Christians today. It is
into this void that Reclaiming Adoption speaks so powerfully
and reclaims the central place that adoption must take in the
thinking of any child of God. Reclaiming Adoption is a must
read; it will tell your head who you are and move your heart
to live in response.”
Steve Chong, Director, Rice movement, Sydney,
Australia
“I am grateful for the work that Dan has done to lift our
eyes to the grand story of adoption. With spiritual insight and
effective teaching, Reclaiming Adoption will help believers
better understand our place with Christ and work in His
kingdom.”
Ed Stetzer, President, LifeWay Research
Reclaiming Adoption
“I can’t recall ever hearing about, much less reading, a

book like this before. Simply put, this remarkable volume fills
a much-needed gap in our understanding of what the Bible
says both about God’s adoption of us and our adoption of
others. I highly recommend it.”
Sam Storms, Author of The Singing God: Discover the
Joy of Being Enjoyed by God
“If you want your church to be a church for the great

commission and for the orphan, reading Reclaiming Adoption
is where you need to start.”
Matt Carter, Lead Pastor, The Austin Stone Community
Church
“The wonderful good news of our adoption by God

is such an important truth for Christians today. Too many
of us live as slaves, distanced from God because we do not
embrace him as our loving Father. As a result our obedience
is reduced to mere duty instead of being animated by joy.
How can we put this right? This book is a great place to start.
Enriching theology and missional application are beautifully
interwoven. The result is a book that will warm your heart
and might just change your life.”
Tim Chester, Author of You Can Change and Total
Church
“Reclaiming Adoption consistently reminds the

evangelical orphan care movement that it always must be the
love of Christ that compels us. Any lesser motivation will
ultimately run dry. It is the gospel alone that can carry us
forward to ‘defend the fatherless’ through adoption, foster
care, and orphan care across the globe.”
Jedd Medefind, President, Christian Alliance for
Orphans
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Reclaiming Adoption
Table of Contents
Chapters
One Adoption of the Prodigals. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Dan Cruver
Two Adoption and the Trinity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Dan Cruver
Three Adoption and the Incarnation. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Dan Cruver
Four Adoption and Our Union with Christ . . . . . .
Dan Cruver
Five The Good News of Adoption. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Richard D. Phillips
Six The Freedom of Adoption. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Scotty Smith
Seven Adoption and Missional Living . . . . . . . . . . . .
Jason Kovacs
Eight Adoption: The Heart of the Gospel. . . . . . . . .
John Piper
Endnotes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Editor’s Acknowledgments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
About the Authors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
63
Reclaiming Adoption
One
ADOPTION OF THE
PRODIGALS
Dan Cruver
One of my dreams is that when Christians hear the

word adoption, they will think first about their adoption
by God. I am far from alone in this dream. I share it with
the co-authors of this book, with those who have attended
Together for Adoption conferences, and with innumerable
other Christians, beginning with the Apostle Paul.
The word adoption is rooted in an ancient Greco-
Roman legal practice, and until Paul everyone understood
it as referring to human adoption, what we might also
call horizontal adoption. But Paul gave the concept a
theological underpinning by grounding it in vertical
adoption—God’s adoption of sinners. Paul knew
something that much of the Church today seems unaware
of—if we learn to first think vertically about adoption,
and only then horizontally, we will enjoy deeper
communion with the triune God and experience greater
missional engagement with the pain and suffering of this
world. That’s what this book is about. We believe:
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Reclaiming Adoption
• the doctrine of adoption has been widely neglected

within the Church historically;
• it remains neglected within much of the evangelical
church today;
• a proper theological grounding of horizontal
adoption within vertical adoption has profound
implications for our understanding of both aspects,
and therefore;
• to the extent we can recapture theological balance
regarding adoption, the Church will be transformed
and our witness to the world will be radically redefined.
Why is the theology of adoption so neglected? It’s a

matter of where Christians have put their attention. It is
generally believed that the Church has created thousands
of creeds and confessions, with more than 150 being
created during the Reformation period alone. Yet in
scouring almost 1,900 years of Church history, Philip
Schaff found only six creeds that contain a section on
theological adoption.
To be fair, there are some good reasons for this. The
early Church was primarily concerned with defining
and defending the doctrines of Christ and the Trinity.
Similarly, the Reformation and post-Reformation Church
focused largely on defending the doctrine of justification.
We can be eternally glad and grateful these battles were
resolutely fought and won. At the same time, the tight
focus on a relatively small number of doctrines uninten-
tionally prevented the Church from developing thorough
scriptural teaching on vertical adoption.
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Reclaiming Adoption
This is largely why Christians tend to interpret the

word adoption first (and often only) in terms of adopting
children. This is also why vertical adoption is not on the
Christian community’s radar to the extent it ought to
be; why God’s Fatherhood and our status as his beloved
children are not a regular part of our vocabulary; and why
the Church’s missional engagement in the world is not
informed and shaped—to the extent it can and should
be—by Scripture’s teaching on our adoption by God.
Our prayer is that this book will contribute to changing
all that, for God’s glory and our good.
Our Prodigal Race

Few stories have the ability to pierce us as deeply as Jesus’
Parable of the Prodigal Son from Luke 15:11-32 (I suggest
you read the passage now unless you are already very
familiar with it). In recent years, Tim Keller’s teaching on
this parable has served the Church well by rightly focusing
our attention on the father and his relationship, not merely
with the younger son, but also with the older son.1 As Jesus
makes clear at the start, this parable is about both sons, and
both are estranged from their father.
The younger son manifests his estrangement by
breaking the rules, and the older son manifests his
by keeping them. The older son may have been “on
mission” with the father externally—doing what he was
“supposed” to do—but he certainly wasn’t on mission
with him internally. His heart was not aligned missionally
with the heart of the father. Once it became clear to him
that the father dealt with his sons according to grace and
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Reclaiming Adoption
not according to merit, his emotional capital and missional

commitment evaporated. No longer was he capable
of “serving” the father. Nor did he have any interest in
aligning himself with the father’s agenda of welcoming
home lost sons. Thus, both sons are prodigals, neither one
living in loving communion with the father.
Deep underneath the differing externals of these
two sons’ behaviors is the fact that both were “sons of
disobedience” and “children of wrath” (Ephesians 2:2-3).
But the beauty and wonder of the Parable of the Prodigal
Son(s) is that it puts the father’s love on display—a love
that embraces the younger son with uninhibited joy
(Luke 15:20) and goes out to entreat the older to come join
the celebration (v 28). In both cases, the father comes to
the rebels to bring them into his joy, his home. This father
loves prodigals.
We are the prodigals whom Jesus, the true and eternal
Son, came to bring home. Some of us are more like the
younger brother, and some the older. Look closely
enough, however, and most of us from time to time can
resemble either one.
All of us were created in the image of God so that we
could participate in the communion of love between the
Father and the Son (as we will explore at various points
in this book), but we were cut off from that communion
because of our sin and rebellion. We became an entire
prodigal race, sons of disobedience and children of wrath.
As a result, all of us have what C.S. Lewis calls a “longing
to be reunited with something in the universe from which
we now feel cut off, to be on the inside of some door
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Reclaiming Adoption
which we have always only seen from the outside.”2

The door that seems so impenetrable is the eternal
communion of love between the Father and the Son. The
story of the Bible is that God the Father sent his only true
and eternal Son on a mission, and that mission was to
bring many wayward and rebellious sons home to glory
(Hebrews 2:10). That is the Story behind the story of the
Prodigal Sons. That is the only story that gives our stories
any meaning or significance.
The Story of Adoption

If we consider the Parable of the Prodigal Sons within
the larger context of Scripture, we find that it is really
the story of adoption—the adoption of humanity as a
prodigal race (Genesis 3:6). Maybe you are thinking,
Jesus’ parable in Luke 15 can’t be about adoption. The
two brothers were already the father’s sons; they were just
estranged. Adoption is for orphans, not sons.
That would be a reasonable response, but a misguided
one, because the logic starts from human adoption. It
takes adoption as we understand it horizontally and tries
to force the definition of vertical adoption into the same
mold. Yes, the Apostle Paul borrowed the term adoption
from the Greco-Roman horizontal practice, but he altered
and expanded the word, filling it with rich redemptive-
historical meaning. When Paul says adoption, he does
not mean it the same way we usually do. We should not
try to export the attributes of human adoption to divine
adoption, because that is not what Paul was intending to
communicate. Instead, we should import into our view of
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Reclaiming Adoption
human adoption Scripture’s teaching that those who are

outside the Father are without hope or home. Let us allow
Scripture to remold our concept of adoption, so we can
take on a God-centered view rather than a man-centered
one.
Paul is the only writer in Scripture to employ the
term adoption, and he does so in four separate passages.3
Looking at each passage in turn transports us to four
crucial events in the grand story of redemption. Together,
these events reveal the adoption of sinners to be God’s
ultimate purpose. They also have the power to completely
overhaul our understanding of adoption.
Before Time: Ephesians 1:4-5 In this passage, Paul
states that God the Father “chose us in him before the
foundation of the world, that we should be holy and
blameless before him. In love he predestined us for
adoption as sons through Jesus Christ.” Thus, we see that
God’s first work of adoption happened even before he
created the universe. God did this, Paul emphasizes, “in
love.” Before the first molecule was formed, God marked
us out with incomparable care—he predestined us—for
the great privilege of being his beloved children through
adoption. Adoption was not a divine afterthought. It was
in God’s triune4 mind and heart before the first tick of
human history’s clock. Adoption therefore predates the
universe itself. Only God and his triune love are “bigger”
than adoption.
Israel: Romans 9:4 Here, Paul identifies adoption
as one of the great privileges Israel enjoyed as God’s
chosen people: “They are Israelites, and to them belong
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Reclaiming Adoption
the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the

law, the worship, and the promises.” Scholars believe that
Israel received adoption—that is, officially became God’s
corporate son—when God declared them a nation at Mt.
Sinai, three months after he delivered them from Egypt.
Thus, God redeemed them before he adopted them. He
redeemed them in order to adopt them.
Of course, Israel repeatedly failed in its sonship by
rejecting the Father’s love, replaying the story of Adam’s
rebellion. God’s mission to bring many wayward and
rebellious sons home to glory seemed doomed. Yet
through Israel, God’s corporate son through adoption,
the eternal and perfect Son would be sent to redeem
humanity, thereby preserving God’s perfect plan.
Jesus: Galatians 4:4-6 “When the fullness of time had
come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under
the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that
we might receive adoption as sons.” Here, Paul identifies
adoption as the grand purpose or objective of redemption,
and he could not have written it more clearly: “…so that
we might receive adoption”! Once again, adoption shows
up at a watershed moment within the unfolding story of
redemption. Just as God redeemed Israel in order that he
might adopt them, so also has God redeemed us in order
that he might adopt us! Redemption is not the end of God’s
work. Adoption as sons is.
New Heavens & New Earth: Romans 8:15,22-23
Finally, adoption is central to the end of redemption’s
story. In verse 23, Paul writes, “And not only the creation,
but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit,
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Reclaiming Adoption
groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons,

the redemption of our bodies.” Paul identifies the glo-
rification of our bodies as a final outward manifestation
of our adoption. When the story of redemption reaches
its intended goal, the Bible calls it “adoption.” On that
climactic day the heavens and the earth will be trans-
formed into our Father’s house. The renewed earth will
become the place where we forever enjoy our Father’s
love as his sons and daughters. Paul’s use of adoption in
Romans 8 teaches us that missional living is not direction-
less living. Missional Christians daily fix their eyes on
the climax of God’s work of adoption—God’s renewed
heavens and earth.
So we see that Paul teaches that God does not merely
redeem us—through adoption he brings us into the
warmth, love, and gladness of his own family. Redemp-
tion was never intended to be God’s “be-all and end-all”
work of grace. God redeemed us in his Son so that he might
love us and delight in us even as he loves and delights in his
eternal Son. As we shall see, adoption is God’s act of making
room within his triune love for prodigals who are without
hope, and providing them with homes in this world and the
world to come. This is the story of adoption.
Now it is easier to see why the Parable of the Prodigal
Sons is truly about adoption. From God’s perspective,
adoption is not essentially about orphans at all. It is
essentially about estrangement. Adoption is about God
taking into his home those who have rebelled against him.
All humanity is naturally estranged from God. We are
all rebels, all disobedient sons, for we are all made in his
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Reclaiming Adoption
image and created to worship him, yet we have rejected

him—as did Adam, as did Israel. Adoption is about the
reconciliation of the rebellious. Our confusion comes
when we look at human adoption and end up focusing on
the fact that a child needs parents. God focuses on the fact
that a lost person needs saving.
As we shall see later in this book, the ultimate purpose
of human adoption by Christians, therefore, is not to give
orphans parents, as important as that is. It is to place them in
a Christian home that they might be positioned to receive
the gospel, so that within that family, the world might
witness a representation of God taking in and genuinely
loving the helpless, the hopeless, and the despised.
Adoption and Mission

Today, God seems to be awakening his people to the
importance of Scripture’s teaching on this subject. The
authors of this book are convinced that such an awakening
will strengthen the Church’s involvement in God’s
mission in the world. When Christians rediscover God’s
extravagant love for and delight in them, they begin to live
differently. They begin to live missionally. Our goal here
is not to define or explain the mission of God in any detail.
We want to further equip you for sustained, joyful engage-
ment and participation in that mission. These first four
chapters, therefore, explore the interwoven stories behind
God’s work of adoption in the world and its implications
for Christian mission. The chapters by Scotty Smith,
Rick Phillips, Jason Kovacs, and John Piper then focus on
various implications of adoption for missional living.
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Reclaiming Adoption
To live missionally means to live each waking moment

in light of the gospel so that it increasingly affects every
part of our lives for the glory of God’s grace in our fallen
world. Our hope for this book is that Scripture’s teaching
on adoption will better equip you to live daily in the good
news of the gospel.
As believers, particularly in the West, it is easy for us
to look at the decline of Christianity’s cultural influence,
the spread of a secular mindset, a volatile political climate
globally, and our own internal struggles with sin, and
conclude that the sky is falling. It’s easy for us to look at
the world and ourselves through the narrow lens of what’s
wrong with both, rather than through the wide-angle lens
of what God has done, is doing, and will do in the world for
his glory and our good. The narrow lens hinders Christian
mission. The wide-angle mobilizes and serves it.
Making sure that we are looking at our world and
ourselves through the proper lens is critical for Christian
mission. I would contend that adoption is the proper lens
through which to view the entire story of redemption.
Few things hinder action within the Christian life
more than being unsure of God’s love for us personally.
Returning for a moment to the story of the prodigals, in
Children of the Living God, Sinclair Ferguson sheds a par-
ticular kind of light on the prodigal son who left home. As
he was returning to his father, the prodigal planned to say
that he was no longer worthy to be called a son, which was
certainly true. Convinced that, in the depth of his rebellion
and rejection of the father, he had lost all hope of receiving
the father’s love, he intended to offer himself as a slave,
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Reclaiming Adoption
hoping merely to survive. Little does the prodigal know,

however, that his father eagerly awaits his return.
Ferguson sees something in the prodigal’s thinking
that parallels how we as Christians often think of God and
his fatherly love for us:
Jesus was underlining the fact that—despite assump-

tions to the contrary—the reality of the love of God
for us is often the last thing in the world to dawn upon
us. As we fix our eyes upon ourselves, our past failures,
our present guilt, it seems impossible to us that the
Father could love us. Many Christians go through
much of their life with the prodigal’s suspicion. Their
concentration is upon their sin and failure; all their
thoughts are introspective.5
When the prodigal son says, “I will arise and go to my

father, and I will say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against
heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called
your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants’” (Luke
15:18-19), he is thinking in terms of wages earned rather
than extravagant love and grace received. It’s as if he is
thinking, “I ended up in the far country by squandering
my father’s wealth, so maybe I can earn my way back into
his house.”
When we as believers relate to God the Father as this
prodigal son relates to his father, we are slow to return
to God after we sin. We don’t anticipate—let alone
expect—his fatherly embrace. And when we do return to
him, we think of him primarily as our master and not our
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Reclaiming Adoption
Father. As a result, real Christian joy is absent, passion-

ate Christian living is lacking, and Christian mission is
severely hindered.
Christians who doubt God’s love for them will
not mobilize for mission. Unless we know the Father
delights in us even as he delights in Jesus, we will lack the
emotional capital necessary to resist complacency and
actively engage in missional living. The only people who
can truly turn their eyes outward in mission are those who
knowingly live within and enjoy the loving gaze of their
heavenly Father.
I believe that a biblical understanding of God’s
Fatherhood will cause us to be better able to look outside
ourselves in service to others. If we are not confident of his
love, our eyes will turn inward, and our primary concerns
will be our needs, our lack, our disappointment, rather
than the needs of those around us. As a result, we’ll be
afraid to take risks or do the hard things even if they are
necessary. Or we will do the externals of missional living
as an attempt to earn God’s acceptance or to keep him and
our fellow-Christians off our backs. We will relate to him
as if we are wage-earners rather than as his dearly beloved
children, the ones in whom he delights.
The logic of wage-earning does not flow out of
the gospel of grace. The gospel is joyful news because it
speaks to us of the Father’s love that has come to us freely
in Jesus Christ.
Reclaiming Adoption
$8.45 Print $5.45 Mobipocket PDF ePub
$5.99 Kindle
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Reclaiming Adoption
76
INTENTIONAL
PARENTING
Family Discipleship by Design
Tad Thompson
Cruciform Press | Released February, 2011
This book is dedicated to Abby and Josiah.

My greatest prayer is for you to treasure Jesus more
than anything else in this world.
– Tad Thompson
© 2011 by Tad Thompson. All rights reserved.

The Organized Heart
“Here is a practical page-turner that encourages fathers to

engage the hearts of their families with truth and grace. In an age
when truth is either ignored or despised, it is refreshing to see a
book written for ordinary fathers who want their families to be
sanctified by the truth . Thompson writes with a grace which
reminds us that parenting flows from the sweet mercies of Christ.”
Joel Beeke, President, Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary
“As parents, we know God has given us the responsibility to

train our children in his ways. But many parents don’t know where
or how to start. Tad has done us all a favor by identifying seven key
categories of biblical teaching we can utilize in teaching our children
godly truth and principles. This easy-to-follow plan will help any
parent put the truth of God’s Word into their children’s hearts.”
Kevin Ezell, President, North American Mission Board,
Southern Baptist Convention; father of six
“Need an introductory text for parents to the topic of discipling

children? Here is a clear, simple book on family discipleship, centered
on the gospel rather than human successes or external behaviors.”
Timothy Paul Jones, Ph.D., Professor of Discipleship and
Family Ministry, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary
“Are you doing what you can to make sure the coming gen-
eration will praise the Lord? This book can help you in that great
task. May the Lord use it powerfully.”
James M. Hamilton, Ph.D, Associate Professor of Biblical
Theology, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary
“This approach is creative, thoroughly biblical, and a must

read for any parent who desires for their children to love God with
all their heart, soul, and might. This is a great strategy for anyone
looking for a way to pull their family together around God’s Word.”
Blake Gideon, Senior Pastor, First Baptist Church, Inola,
Oklahoma
78
Table of Contents
Chapters
One The Need. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Look
Two The Mirror. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
See
Three The Kitchen. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Ingredients of Family Discipleship
Four The Living Room. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Contexts for Teaching and Learning
Five The Bedroom. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Speaking to Our Children’s Hearts
Six Time to Engage. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Endnotes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Recommended Reading. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Intentional Parenting
One
THE NEED
Look
I can see the room as if it were yesterday. Metal

folding chairs, flannel board, musty carpet, and all
my church buddies gathered for the weekly ritual of
Sunday School. As I leaned back against the wall in
my chair, I had no sense there was anything unique
about this particular lesson. It was simply another
hour with my friends, listening to a story I had heard
a thousand times before. And this is no exaggera-
tion; I had heard the simple gospel message at least
one thousand times. My dad, a Baptist pastor, was
faithful to share the gospel, my mom was faithful
to talk to me about the gospel, and our church was
faithful in its proclamation of the gospel. I had heard
the message of the cross time and time again, so when
my first-grade Sunday School teacher began to tell
it again that day, it seemed like an old, broken-in ball
cap, very comfortable and familiar.
But something was unique about this particular
80
lesson; the Holy Spirit began to work in my heart.

From one moment to the next, something changed.
I realized in an entirely new way that the cross was
about my sin, and that this all-too-familiar story
demanded a response. I was undone, convicted of
my sin. I spent the rest of the day thinking about
Jesus hanging on the cross, dying, his sacrifice paying
for what I had done. I vividly remember lying in bed
that evening praying a simple, child-like prayer to
God, asking him to forgive my sins. This was not
the grandest of all confessions. It was not theologi-
cally precise or soteriologically accurate. But it was
wrought by the Holy Spirit, who had gently and
persuasively led me, a six-year-old boy, to the cross
of the Savior.
I reflect often on that Sunday, and cherish it as the
day I was born again by the power of the Holy Spirit
working through the proclamation of the gospel.
When I ponder that day, it is obvious to me that two
groups were vital to my conversion and subsequent
discipleship: my parents and the local church.
God intends for a beautiful partnership to exist
between the home and the local church. As a matter
of fact, God intends for the Christian home to be the
body of Christ in microcosm. As George Whitefield
once put it, “[E]very house…a little Parish, every
Governor a Priest, every Family a Flock…”1
But historically it has been rare for the Christian
81
home to function even remotely like a little church.

As I think about my childhood friends who were
with me in that Sunday School class, I do not believe
many of them were afforded the blessing of being
discipled by their parents. Few of them are active in
the church today.
The Situation
I have served on a church staff as a student pastor, as
an associate pastor with oversight of adult education,
and now as a lead pastor. At every stage of my
seventeen-year experience in ministry, the discon-
nect between parents and children with respect to
the discipleship process has become increasingly
evident. The hard fact is that fathers and mothers
are not taking on the responsibility to disciple their
own children, and churches are doing very little, if
anything, to challenge this reality. One look at my
Facebook page demonstrates the painful fact that
many young adults who were once quite active in
student ministry programs have left the church and
are questioning their faith. A young man found my
Facebook account and wrote, “I just want to let
you know that I don’t believe in organized religion
anymore. I’m not even sure I believe in God.”
Personal experiences do not prove societal
trends, but current research demonstrates that this
young man’s experience is not uncommon. Polling
82
has shown that, of adults in their twenties who

attended church as teenagers, 61 percent no longer
do so.2
During the past thirty years, the Church has
become increasingly geared towards the consumer.
Pastors and church-growth experts have thought of
every way imaginable to compel the masses, through
attractive facilities and programs, to at least walk
in the door. Often the motive is a genuine desire to
share the gospel with those who need to hear it—and
who presumably would not come to church absent
video screens, concert-hall sound systems, or wacky
children’s sets complete with slime machines and
fire truck baptisteries. The results of these efforts
may look good at first, with some churches boasting
increased attendance. The data, however, demon-
strate otherwise. Alvin Reid, professor of evangelism
at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary writes,
Over the preceding twenty years the number

of full-time youth pastors had grown dramati-
cally and a plethora of magazines, music, and
ideas aimed at youth has been birthed along the
way. Meanwhile, during that same time span,
the numbers of young people won to Christ
dropped at about as fast a rate.3
The lesson here is that the church’s emphasis
83
on attracting the unchurched through entertain-

ment and child-centered programs has not only
not helped, it has hurt. Another researcher concurs,
“Sugarcoated Christianity, popular in the 1980s and
early 90s, has caused growing numbers of kids to
turn away not just from attending youth-fellowship
activities but also from practicing their faith at all.”4
So while the church and parents alike want to
raise up spiritual champions, the discipleship model
in which church professionals essentially replace
parents as the primary agents of discipleship is just
not working. One key reason for this was revealed by
a comprehensive study on the religious and spiritual
lives of American teenagers, which concluded,
When it comes to the formation of the lives of

youth, viewed sociologically, faith communi-
ties typically get a very small seat at the end of
the table for a very limited period of time. . . .
Religious communities that are interested in the
faith formation of their youth simply must better
address the structural competition of other, not
always supportive institutions and activities. This
will likely require developing new and creative
norms, practices, and institutions appropriate to
specific religious situations and traditions.5
That is, the Church must change course. For
84
one thing, we must recognize that a few hours a

week of consumer-oriented church events cannot
successfully compete for the hearts of young people
if those hearts are not being attended to spiritually
in the home. The spiritual futures of children must
be placed as a matter of primary importance back
into the hands of the people who have the greatest
opportunity to influence them for the Kingdom of
God—their parents.
The idea that fathers and mothers should be the
primary agents of discipleship in the lives of their
children is hardly a “new and creative norm.” It is
a scriptural and historical norm. “Fathers, do not
provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in
the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians
6:4). In the Book of Psalms the author writes, “He
established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law
in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach
to their children” (Psalms 78:5). Richard Baxter,
the Puritan pastor famous for his disciplined watch
over the flock placed in his care, wrote in his classic
work to pastors, “Get masters of families to do their
duty, and they will not only spare you a great deal
of labour, but will much further the success of your
labours.”6 What Richard Baxter wrote in 1656 can
and should serve as an important paradigm shift for
many churches today. Fathers and mothers must be
equipped to fulfill their scriptural duty, partnering
85
with the local church to disciple a new generation of

faithful and devoted followers of Christ.
It is my desire that this book will help the local
church equip parents to engage in the discipleship
task. If you are a parent, I am writing this book
for you in the hopes that your children, and your
children’s children, might be afforded the same
experience I had as a child—to grow up in a home
that loves the Lord and his gospel and demonstrates
that love practically, overtly, and consistently. My
childhood home was not perfect. Neither is the
home I lead, nor any home I know of or have ever
heard of. How good it is to know that perfection is
not necessary—simply a desire, a plan, prayer, and
a regular reliance on God to equip us with the grace
and strength to be faithful.
The scriptural and historical record combines
with the current research to show that the Church
must return to the basics. The Church must again
turn its attention to parents, equipping them to both
disciple their children and to model for them how to
reach other families with the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Now Make It Stick:

1. Take a moment to reflect on your exposure to
the gospel as a child. In what ways, if any, did this
gospel exposure help you come to faith in Christ?
86
2. In what ways does your family function as a

“little church”?
We pray together as a family:

daily | weekly | monthly | rarely/never
We read the Bible together as a family:
We talk about spiritual matters as a family:
We share the gospel with others as a family:
3. Read Ephesians 6:1-4 and Psalms 78:1-8 and

describe in your own words your scriptural
responsibility to disciple your children.
87
Two
THE MIRROR
See
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I

reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish
ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.
Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been
fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but
the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:11-13)
On the wall in our master bedroom hangs a full-

length mirror. Of all the places in the house, it never
occurred to me that this spot would be so frequently
occupied. At least, not until I connected two salient
facts—it is the only full-length mirror in our home,
and we have a seven-year-old daughter.
Abby likes fashion. How much of this may
be genetic I just don’t know, but I am certain her
obsession with clothes and accessories has been
fostered by her two grandmothers, both of whom
are certified professional shoppers. Abby has more
outfits than a seven-year-old really needs, and as she
88
studies her stylishness in that bedroom mirror, it

seems to me that all she can see is perfection.
Children like the mirror. Me, not so much. I
noticed this morning that I am getting more and
more gray hair. My physique is not like it was in my
“playing” days, and honestly I’m glad I met my wife
fourteen years ago and not today. What I see in the
mirror is decay; imperfection on the march.
Paul writes something in 1 Corinthians 13:11-13
that will serve us greatly as we begin our family
discipleship design project. He alludes to the fact that
maturity brings with it the realization that we don’t
have it all together, that we don’t understand every-
thing perfectly. He says, “We see in a mirror dimly,”
and “We know in part.” I find it intriguing that he
makes this statement after a passage about giving up
childish ways of thinking and reasoning. It is as if
Paul is saying, “When I was child, I thought I knew
everything and saw myself for who I really was, but
now I have left that foolishness behind and recognize
I am not as put together as I imagined.”
Seeing our own imperfection and vulnerability
is vital to the process of family discipleship. That is
why we begin our design project with the mirror
of Scripture. Like a mirror, the Bible exposes us
and tells us the truth about ourselves. As you read
through this book you will be confronted with how
often you fall short of God’s design for discipleship
89
in the home. Trust me—while writing these chapters

I was more than once forced to the floor by the
Holy Spirit in repentance for my failings as a father,
husband, and pastor. So please be encouraged that
not one parent who reads this book will honestly
be able to approach the content like my daughter
approaches that mirror in our bedroom. All of us
will be confronted with our flaws and failures. This
is the indispensable starting point, the place where
hope begins.
Paul writes in I Corinthians 13:12b, “Now
I know in part; then I will know fully, even as I
have been fully known.” As you read, treasure up
these words in your heart: “even as I have been
fully known.” This is such an amazing statement
of the grace of God. Although we can only know
him and understand him in part, he has known us
fully and completely. He knows all of our blind
spots, struggles, and fears. He knows our laziness,
arrogance, and pride. He knows every point of
failure in our lives, and he knew all of these things
before he laid the foundation of the world. He knew
us fully before he died as our substitute! He knows
us today, and makes his grace available to bind up
every wound.
Discipleship by Love
A few weeks ago I sat across from a dear friend
90
telling him a little about this book project. All his

children are young and I know his heart is to see
them follow after Christ. He told me how much
he needed this kind of help because he had no clue
where to start in leading his family spiritually. I have
written this book for him, and for so many parents
just like him who desire with all their hearts to
disciple their children, but no one has ever shown
them how. I have written this book for me, so that I
might be able to disciple my own children and equip
the parents in my local church to do the same. The
aim of this book is love. Love for my children, love
for my church, and love for the body of Christ.
Paul concluded 1 Corinthians 13 with these
words, “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these
three; but the greatest of these is love.” The reason
we ought to pursue family discipleship is love! Love
for our children, no matter what age they may be.
I will tell you right now that if you have teenagers
and this is the first time you have considered family
discipleship, the material in this book is going to be
very challenging for you. True discipleship is a long,
steady process, and you have fewer of those espe-
cially formative years left to work with. But please
do not be driven away by guilt or fear. Don’t doubt
for a moment that God still desires to work through
you in powerful ways for the good of your children.
Be motivated by love to capture the years that remain
91
for Christ. Remember that our Lord Jesus is able

to do “far more abundantly than all that we ask or
think, according to the power at work within us”
(Ephesians 3:20).
Look in the mirror with me. Let’s gaze for a
moment at all of our flaws and imperfections, and
admit them freely to ourselves. Then let’s put down
this book, get on our knees, and thank the Lord that
despite all of our ugliness, he has redeemed us. He
died in our place and for our sin on the cross, even
while we were sinners. Let us thank the Lord for our
salvation and ask him to do a work in our homes for
his glory. The Sovereign King of heaven and earth
has the power to transform your home. Let’s get
started.
Now Make It Stick:

1. Get alone with God and ask him to search your
heart, exposing areas of weakness pertaining
to parenting and family discipleship. List your
failings, and bring these items to Jesus in repen-
tance.
2. Share your list with your spouse and spend time
in prayer together, asking the Lord to transform
your home for his glory.
3. Set aside an extended period of time to discuss
the spiritual condition of each of your children.
92
4. Write down some specific areas where your

children need to grow and develop spiritually,
and begin praying together over these items.
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94
THE ORGANIZED
HEART
A Woman’s Guide to Conquering Chaos
Staci Eastin
Cruciform Press | Released March, 2011
For Todd, who knows my faults and loves me

anyway. And for Adam, Elise, and Jacob. May you
always rest in the grace of our perfect Savior.
– Staci Eastin
© 2011 by Staci Eastin. All rights reserved.

95
“Staci Eastin packs a punch with this short book. But it’s a
gracious punch, full of insights about our disorganized hearts and
lives, which is immediately followed by the balm of gospel-shaped
hopes. The Organized Heart is ideally crafted for use with account-
ability partners and small groups. Because of the Holy Spirit’s active
presence, there is always hope for change. Open this book with that
great truth in mind and you’ll find much to ponder!”
Carolyn McCulley, fellow procrastinator, is a blogger,
filmmaker, and the author of Radical Womanhood and
Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?
“Unless we understand the spiritual dimension of productivity, all

our techniques will ultimately backfire. In this book, Staci Eastin
has provided that all-important spiritual perspective. Instead of
adding new rules, she explains how to keep leisure, busyness,
perfectionism, and possessions from becoming idols. Encouraging
and uplifting rather than guilt-driven, this inside-out approach can
help women who want to be more organized but know that adding
another method is not enough.”
Matt Perman, Director of Strategy at Desiring God,
blogger at whatsbestnext.com, and author of the forthcoming
book, What’s Best Next: How the Gospel Transforms the Way
You Get Things Done
“Organizing a home can be an insurmountable challenge for a

woman. The Organized Heart makes a unique connection between
idols of the heart and the ability to run a well-managed home. This
is not a how-to; instead, Eastin looks at sin as the root problem of
disorganization, and strives to help the reader understand biblically
how to overcome this problem. She offers a fresh new approach and
one I recommend, especially to those of us who have tried all the
other self-help models and failed.”
Aileen Challies, Mom of three, and wife of blogger, author,
and pastor Tim Challies
Table of Contents
Chapters
One Our Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Two Perfectionism . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Three Busyness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Four Possessions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Five Leisure. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Six Difficult Circumstances . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Seven Where to Begin. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sources Cited. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
About Cruciform Press. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Organized Heart
One
OUR STORY
Just two days before Christmas, and I was

terribly behind. We expected to leave town in thirty
minutes and I had just started packing. Todd, my
husband, went to get gas, hoping that by dividing the
chores we could still get away on time. Meanwhile,
I frantically dug through baskets of clean laundry,
hoping to find enough matching pairs of socks to see
my preschool-age son through the week. Each glance
at the clock revealed that I would not finish in time.
I began a mental list of all the reasons I wasn’t
ready. I don’t remember now what they were, but
I’m sure I drew from the stock of excuses I always
used: unexpected events, needy children, unreason-
able demands from others. But as Todd returned,
conviction washed over me. None of my excuses
were lies, but I wasn’t being completely honest.
Because while my week had brought a few surprises,
I had still managed to find time for plenty of other
things—less important things.
98
The Organized Heart
When Todd returned home and walked into our

bedroom, I looked him in the eye and told him the
truth. I was running late because I hadn’t prepared. It
was all my fault.
I must have eventually finished packing, because
we did make it to our parents’ homes for Christmas
that year. And Todd, who has always been incredibly
patient with my slapdash housekeeping, spent the
rest of his vacation cheerfully helping me return the
house to order.
I wish I could say that my story of holiday chaos
was just that—a season, and an unrepeated one—but
I can’t. One year later I was running errands and
half-listening to a Christian radio program about
New Year’s Resolutions. Listeners called in and listed
the changes they wanted to make in the coming year:
lose weight, quit smoking, spend more time with
their families. At each stoplight I glanced at my to-do
list, checking off anything recently accomplished,
but also adding new tasks as they occurred to me.
As the uncompleted items piled up faster than the
completed ones, I once again felt the pressure of too
much to do and too little time to do it in. Suddenly I
heard the host ask the radio audience to think of our
own resolutions, and I tearfully whispered, “I want
to be more organized.”
You may think I was being too hard on myself.
Christmas is a busy time, and it’s only normal to feel
99
The Organized Heart
stressed and rushed then. But that season simply

placed a spotlight on a constant reality. My problem
with disorganization seemed more apparent during
Christmas, but the problem was always there. In
fact, my entire adult life could be described as a series
of unfinished good intentions: notes and cards never
sent (or even bought), dinner parties never thrown,
kind words never spoken, calls never made, help
never given.
So I come to you as someone who must fight to
stay organized every day of her life.
In Pursuit of an Organized
Home
My mother and my grandmothers were industri-
ous women who showed me that organization is
possible. They managed to keep clean houses, work,
volunteer, and still have ample time for family, rest,
and leisure. In an effort to be more like them, I have
read countless books on home organization, and
I own more planners than any person could ever
need. I’ve tried lists, notebooks, note cards, and filing
systems; I’ve posted schedules and spreadsheets; I’ve
bought drawer organizers and closet systems. While
all these things helped for a time, none brought the
lasting change that I sought.
The systems, after all, require implementation,
but my disorganized heart can corrupt a perfect rule
100
The Organized Heart
and refuse a generous teacher. I can shove unfolded

T-shirts into beautiful closet shelves or justify
fudging on a sensible daily schedule. But the systems
I tried don’t get to the heart of why I do that. Most
of these books and tools assume that disorganiza-
tion stems from lack of skill. If I would just follow a
certain system, I could enjoy a life of organized bliss.
I could float through my spotless house, sail to all
my appointments on time, and never feel stressed or
rushed again.
Other books blamed my disorganization on
childhood traumas or family dysfunctions. Surely
my parents had loved me too little (or too much),
had praised me too little (or too much), or had dis-
ciplined me too little (or too much). If none of those
things applied, perhaps I had a chemical or hormonal
imbalance. Regardless of the cause, it certainly wasn’t
my fault.
Other books tried to tell me how lucky I was to
have a house to clean. Housekeeping could be such
fun; I just didn’t know it yet.
I’ve come to see my disorganization as not due
to a lack of skill or knowledge. I know how to keep
a home, as I watched that done well all through my
growing-up years. And since I already lacked the
self-discipline to organize the tasks I knew needed
doing anyway, the additional task of filling out a
chart or planner just became one more thing to
101
The Organized Heart
distract me from my priorities. Failing the system

seemed inevitable.
Pop psychology didn’t help either. Blessed with
a happy childhood and loving parents, I can’t blame
anyone else for my failures: I know my parents
taught me better. Nor could I blame any physical
problem, for I am in the best of health, and I’ve
always managed to find lots of time, energy, and
ability to complete tasks I want to complete.
As for housekeeping being fun? Some of my
friends like to vacuum and others enjoy ironing. I
have one friend who thinks cleaning out a closet is
a fun way to spend a free afternoon (I worry about
her). I’ve always taken great satisfaction in dusting—
as long as I don’t have to clear clutter beforehand.
Pleasure in housekeeping seems subjective, then. It
is a necessary task, and some enjoy some pieces of
it but simply do the rest. Just as we have different
abilities and talents, we will always find some tasks
more interesting than others. Why cleaning the
toilets must be fun is beyond me, but they still must
be cleaned, and organizing my days so that such
tasks can be accomplished is important.
So the real question is why I don’t organize my
days to do what I believe is important and what I do,
in fact, have the skills and training to do. The answer
is that I have a motivation problem. I do what I do
not want to do—and I do not do what I want to do.
102
The Organized Heart
In Pursuit of an Organized
Heart
Naturally organized people gain satisfaction from
getting their work done quickly without procras-
tinating. They have learned to budget their time so
that they don’t take on more commitments than they
can handle. They can easily whittle down their pos-
sessions to fit the amount of storage in their homes.
When unexpected things come up, they prioritize
between the urgent and non-urgent.
And then there is the rest of us. We know we
shouldn’t put required tasks off until the last minute,
but something more pressing (or more fun) always
seems to come up first. We know we shouldn’t take
on yet another commitment, but everything seems
so important, and we don’t want to let anyone down.
Our closets, drawers, and garages overflow with
extra stuff, but when we try to clean out, we can’t
part with any pieces. Some of us may even have
spotless homes, but we’re exhausted. We feel like we
work all the time without any free time to relax and
enjoy life the way other people do.
Secular psychologists tell us that we do these
things because in our minds the payoff for disorga-
nization is greater than the benefit of organization.
We procrastinate because we don’t want to do what
needs to be done now. We overcommit because
saying No hurts. We gain excess possessions because
103
The Organized Heart
we prefer the certainty of having too much to the

possibility of not having enough. We seek perfection
because contentment feels like compromise. In other
words, despite the fact that our lives are spinning out
of control, in our twisted minds we believe that living
this way is more pleasurable than taking steps to fix
the problem.
I think those psychologists are partly right. The
disorganization in my life was not due to lack of
knowledge or skill and it was not due to a problem
in my childhood. Rather, it’s a broken belief system:
a heart issue, a sin issue. At the end of the day, it’s
idolatry.
That may sound awfully harsh. You want this
book to help you organize your life, not lay more
guilt and shame at your feet. Being disorganized may
be unhandy, but it’s just your personality, right? It’s
certainly not a sin.
Or is it? Disorganization steals your joy. It causes
you to go through your life frazzled and stressed. It
causes friction with your husband and makes you
snap at your children. It makes you perform ministry
tasks grudgingly. It prevents you from developing
friendships, because you’re always rushing from
one task to the next. You don’t feel like you’re doing
anything well, let alone to the glory of God.
The Bible is clear that as Christians, we have
tasks appointed to us by God (Ephesians 2:9-10).
104
The Organized Heart
We should do everything we do with all our heart

because we do it for the Lord (Colossians 3:23). As
women, we are instructed to care for our homes and
families (Titus 2:3-5). Whether we want to refer to
our disorganization as personality quirks or sin, we
must fight against anything that interferes with our
relationship with God.
We never conquer sin by adding more rules.
That’s what the Pharisees did, and Jesus chastised
them for it. Jesus is interested in more than just
outward works; he wants us to perform good works
from the overflow of a loving and pure heart. My
attempts to get organized always failed because I
tried to change my habits without letting the Holy
Spirit change my heart. It was only when I saw the
sinful motivations behind my bad habits that I could
see lasting change in my life.
Starting to Start the Pursuit:

Naming the Idols
This book will be different than any other book on
organization that you’ve probably read. I have no
schedule to offer you, I won’t tell you what day to
mop the kitchen floor, and you don’t need to buy a
timer. Your standards for an organized home and a
reasonable schedule will vary with your personality,
season of life, and the needs and preferences of your
family.
105
The Organized Heart
What I hope to do is to help you examine your

heart and discover things that may be hindering
your walk with God. My goal is not necessarily for
you to have a cleaner home or a more manageable
schedule—although I certainly hope that is the case.
Rather, my hope for this book is that it will help you
serve God and your family more effectively, more
fruitfully, and with greater peace and joy.
I can’t promise that the change will be instant
or total. The salvation we receive when we accept
Jesus as our savior is instant and total, but sanctifica-
tion—the process of becoming holy, or more like
Christ—is a lifelong process. Christ’s death on the
cross saves us from the penalty of sin, but we still
have a sinful nature that we must battle daily. We
shouldn’t fall under the impression that holiness will
automatically come to us while we sit and watch
television. Holiness is something we must strive
for (Hebrews 12:14), and we must start in the heart.
Identifying the heart issues behind your disorganiza-
tion will enable you to repent of them. Through the
strength of the Holy Spirit, you can rid yourself of
these idols (Romans 8:13).
It’s unfashionable these days to talk about sin,
and it’s even less fashionable to talk about idolatry.
The world likes to tell us that we’re beyond that now.
When we honestly discuss the sinful attitudes behind
our actions, we are often shushed: “You’re not that
106
The Organized Heart
bad! Everyone does those things! You need to have

better self esteem!”
But the human heart is the same now as it was
in biblical times. We don’t have to bow down to a
golden statue to worship idols. When we trust in
anything other than God for peace and happiness
we are essentially practicing idolatry. Only when we
see the idols yet in our hearts can we truly “put off
the old self” and “put on the new self” (Colossians
3:5-10).
In this book, I have identified four idols that
seem to particularly hinder women from serving
God effectively. They are leisure, busyness, perfec-
tionism, and possessions. You may find that you
only struggle with one or two, or you may discover
that your problems have their roots in all four. I will
examine all of them so that you, by the grace of God,
can identify where your weaknesses lie, and begin to
experience a more joyful walk with the Lord.
Explore
1. I’m going to step out on a limb and assume
that if you are reading this book, you struggle
with staying organized. Which of these areas
describe your problem (more than one may
apply):
107
The Organized Heart
___ Lack of knowledge (not knowing what to do)

___ Lack of skill (not knowing how to do it)
___ Lack of action (just not doing it)
2. In Romans 7:18-20, Paul discusses his desire
to do what is right, coupled with his apparent
inability to carry that out. What does he say is
the cause of this struggle? Where do you see
the same struggle in your own life?
3. We tend to think of idols as items or statues
that we physically bow before. In Colos-
sians 3:5, what does Paul call idolatry? What’s
similar between the idols in that list and a
physical statue?
The Organized Heart

$8.45 Print
$5.99 Kindle
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108
The Organized Heart
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Cruciform Sampler

This book is dedicated to my son’s generation,

© 2010 by Tim Challies. All rights reserved.

Pastor Mark Driscoll

“In an era in which every man is online, pornography is not

“The church, the bride of Christ, finds itself in a sexual age.

“Thank God for using Tim to articulate simply and unasham-

“Tim has worked hard to express these truths simply. You

John Cowle, Steve Funston, Nick Mitchell, and Julian Freeman

When you indulge in sexual sin, it reveals what

bless other men in his life (like us) he is especially

encourage you to take this book, to read it, and to

I often thank God that I grew up in the years

distract a shopkeeper while the other tried to steal a

images that are often crude, base, and degrading.

Indeed, because of porn, even prostitutes are

Preparing for Detox

bodies, are tougher than ever. You live at a time and

understanding and expectations of sexuality. You

the monstrous nature of this sin, and then you need to

The Monster in Disguise

• Where God says the purpose of sex is to build

context because it urges a man to pursue his

Violent Pornography reshapes our very under-

seeks to break out beyond its current boundaries. If

you going, now seem pretty bland. And things that

Clarifying the Promises

I want you to see that you do need to quit

with every fiber of our being. But this is not about

1. Let’s get this one out of the way up-front. Have

Story of the Book: Sexual Detox

This is the book that helped launched an unusual little

What would a book publishing company targeted

The idea was intriguing, but both men were too

In November, Tim composed a series of blog

that by the grace of God we will be able to continue

To my wife, Kim, whose tenacious love, forgiveness,

© 2010 by Greg Lucas. All rights reserved.

“Witty... stunning...striking... humorous and heartfelt. In our

“I didn’t want to read this book. I knew these tear-stained but

“This is not primarily a book for parents of special needs

“Jesus told us that we must suffer with him in order to be

“Greg communicates from a heart that loves Jesus deeply

Seven Darkness | Rescue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It sounded at first like something out of an old

A small crowd had their backs to me, watching

some time with him so I brought him to the mall to

wore a dark flannel shirt and blue jeans, like an old

I rolled the sock gently over his toes to his heel

After buckling Donald in, the elderly man

“It exposes our weakness in order to give us greater

The cold, hard truth had hit me like a storm. It

It is this grace that enables us to do more than

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus

Wrestling with an Angel

To my wife, Steph, who through her example has

© 2010 by Nathan Palmer. All rights reserved.

“Think of these pages as a handbook. Put this handbook

“In our media-crazed, me-first culture, the art of the

About Cruciform Press. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Can you serve in the nursery this morning?”

After a few short months I had completely

role—a springboard to leadership in the church—

support, missions trips, and a hundred others. But