ENGLISH 1A

DIRECTED LEARNING ACTIVITY

GETTING STARTED ACTIVITY

OBJECTIVE: In the Getting Started Activity you will demonstrate what you already know
about reading and writing processes. Your performance on this activity will enable tutors to help
you improve as a reader and writer.

LESSON: Read the following essay, entitled “Women in Combat.” Pretend that this is the first
draft of a research paper that you are writing and trying to improve.

Comment on the strengths and weaknesses of each paragraph and the works cited page. When
commenting on the paragraphs, think about content instead of grammar and punctuation
errors. Use the following questions as a guide for making comments.

● What is the main idea of the paragraph?

● Is the idea supported by convincing facts, reasons, examples, and details?

● Does the paragraph tie in with the overall point of the paper?

● Is the word choice appropriate?

WOMEN IN COMBAT
Paragraph 1

In today’s modern military, women play a vital role. In this paper, I hope that I am going

to explain this role. During the current war in Iraq, military women have proved this point.

EXAMPLE COMMENTS: THIS PARAGRAPH IS REALLY SHORT COMPARED TO

THE REST OF THE PARAGRAPHS IN THE ESSAY. THE FIRST SENTENCE DOES

CATCH MY INTEREST THOUGH. I’M CURIOUS TO KNOW WHAT VITAL ROLE

WOMEN PLAY IN THE MILITARY, BUT I REALLY DON’T SEE A THESIS

STATEMENT THAT CLEARLY STATES THE POINT OF THE PAPER.

Paragraph 2

The opposition to this idea argues that women cannot handle the pressures of war this is

obviously a comment from people who don’t know anything. The opposition feels that women
won’t be able to cope with the harassment and tension caused by the men, another kind of

pressure is physical ability. A woman can’t manage the physical aspects of the job. Such as

enduring extreme heat, carrying heavy equipment, and the handling emotions. All of the

opposition’s points are thoughtful but they don’t relate to the modern world or Armed Forces.

MY COMMENTS ON PARAGRAPH 2 ( )

Paragraph 3

Women today deal with stressful situations in their everyday lives similar to combat.

Every time a woman is heckled by a man while walking down a street alone she must handle her

anxiety and stress of what the man might attempt to do. Women deal with the situation by

ignoring the man and walking on. Of course women are not known to be as physically strong as

most men however, if women are properly trained in combat and can pass all of the physical

demands, then they deserve to fight in combat.

MY COMMENTS ON PARAGRAPH 3 ( )

Paragraph 4

To begin with, many demanding and stressful occupations are held by women. First

many major corporations have female CEOs or presidents. Second, some countries in the past

have women leaders such as Indira Gandhi and Margaret Thatcher. Both of these women make

critical decisions that affect hundreds of thousands of people. Other occupations like lawyer and

doctor are held by women also. Women in these fields literally decide whether or not a person

lives or dies. Furthermore many policemen and firemen are women. According to James

McClearly, 30% of policemen are women. Policewomen must face combat on the streets every

day. Firefighters must face death and destruction every time they go out on a call, the same as a

policewoman. Thus, the constant pressures and physical requirements of the women in these
occupations obviously deflect all opposition as unjustified.

MY COMMENTS ON PARAGRAPH 4 ( )

Paragraph 5

Another reason women deserve to fight in combat is that it is a given right by the US

Constitution. “All men and women are created equal.” This country was founded on principles

of freedom and justice. “The Constitution protects men and men equally. If women are not

allowed to serve in combat, then that is unconstitutional” (Howard, page 22). If women are not

allowed to serve in combat, then this country is a lie. We need to protect the right of everyone to

pursue happiness. And for women that means the ability to serve in the military in combat. If

women are willing to risk their lives for their country, then why should we stop her?

MY COMMENTS ON PARAGRAPH 5 ( )

Paragraph 6

The Iraq War is another justifiable proof that women should be allowed to fight in

combat. In this war, women played many crucial roles. They risked their lives when they flew

support missions into the combat zone for the fighting men. They also loaded and unloaded

heavy weaponry off of the planes, ships, and trucks. In addition government websites show that

women controlled electronic radar and communications to and from the commanders.

Futhermore they had to survive in the squelching heat of the day and freezing temperatures of the

night in the desert. The women had to deal with everything men did. Plus the pressures that the

American people put on them to prove themselves worthy. These women did a hell of a job as

did the men, and they deserve to be recognized as completely equal.

MY COMMENTS ON PARAGRAPH 6 ( )

Paragraph 7
 Therefore, this issue of women fighting in combat deserves to be looked at carefully.

Hopefully if the government will put aside its prejudices against women the Armed Forces can

finally become fully integrated and equality of the genders will be one step closer to being

accomplished. Besides, today the world is a much different place than it was fifty years ago

women are no longer expected to stay in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. While women may

not see combat duty soon. Congressmen may be warming up to the idea. Maverick legislators

like Patricia Schroeder feel that the military should “open the ranks of the infantry to women”

(http://web5.infotrac.galegroup.com). Given enough time their maverick opinion may become a

mainstream one.

MY COMMENTS ON PARAGRAPH 7 ( )

Works Cited

1. James McCleary. “The Emergence of Women in Police Academies.” The Expanding Role of

Women in the 20th Century. New York: Bantam Books, 1995.

2. Howard Jones. Women in Combat. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2002.

3. “Women in Battle.” National Review v43 n2 (1990): p18-19. Expanded Academic ASAP.

January 7, 2007.

MY COMMENTS ON THE WORKS CITED PAGE ( )

ACTIVITY A:

1. What is the weakest paragraph in “Women in Combat?” Why do you think so?

( )

2. Write a well-developed paragraph to take the place of the weakest paragraph.

( )

ACTIVITY B:
1. In a few words, summarize the main idea of each body paragraph (paragraphs 2-6).

(Example) Paragraph 2 Opposition: Women can’t cope with mental and physical stress

Paragraph 3 ( )

Paragraph 4 ( )

Paragraph 5 ( )

Paragraph 6 ( )

2. The essay “Women in Combat” does not have a clear thesis statement. Using the summaries
you wrote for the body paragraphs as a guide, create a new one-sentence thesis that expresses
the essay’s main argument.

THESIS: ( )

3. A good thesis not only gives the main argument of the paper but also raises questions about
the argument in the reader’s mind.

Think about the thesis you wrote in #2 like a reader would. After reading the thesis, answer
the following questions.

a.

What is a question that a reader might have about your thesis?

( )

What are key ideas from the essay that would answer the reader’s question?

( )

What ideas need to be added or developed to better answer the reader’s question?

( )

b.

What is another question that a reader might have about your thesis?

( )

What are key ideas from the essay that would answer the reader’s question?
( )

What ideas need to be added or developed to better answer the reader’s question?

( )

c.

What is one more question that a reader might have about your thesis?

( )

What are key ideas from the essay that would answer the reader’s question?

( )

What ideas need to be added or developed to better answer the reader’s question?

( )

ACTIVITY C:

Make changes to the paragraph below, correcting grammar and punctuation errors.
Put angle brackets < > around any changes you make.

The opposition to this idea argues that women cannot handle the pressures of war this is

obviously a comment from people who don’t know anything. The opposition feels that women

won’t be able to cope with the harassment and tension caused by the men, another kind of

pressure is physical ability. A woman can’t manage the physical aspects of the job. Such as

enduring extreme heat, carrying heavy equipment, and the handling emotions. All of the

opposition’s points are thoughtful but they don’t relate to the modern world or Armed Forces.

REVIEW: Once you have completed this exercise, post it to the appropriate drop box. If you
need help with posting, watch the video “Submitting a DLA to the COW.”

In 1-5 days, a tutor will give you feedback on your DLA. To view the tutor response, click on
Grades in the Administration box and then on the drop box that you submitted your DLA to.
After your receive feedback from a tutor on the Getting Started Activity, explore the options for
your next supplemental learning activity by looking on the Resource Guide for English 1A on the
COW.