Your

m in d s e t m ak eover

LOOKBOOK
 WHAT IS A LOOKBOOK?
A lookbook is what a stylist uses to collect her ideas, inspirations and
“looks” for the future season. It’s a creative way to tell the story of
your brand.

What story do you want to tell?

This lookbook is your guide to designing your life — one thought,

feeling and action at a time.

What “look” do you want for your life?

And, most importantly ...

What mindset looks best on you?

You get to choose what you believe about yourself and your life, the
same way a stylist chooses her looks for the new season.

You get to CREATE the look you’re seeking, and it all starts in the
mind.

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 Your Makeover
YOUR BEFORE AND AFTER

I’ve always been fascinated with makeovers.

Seeing a woman transform with a new hairstyle, a flattering outfit and
complimentary makeup is a testament to the possibilities of “before”
and “afters.”

The best makeovers are the ones of

the mind, because what you think
determines your entire life.

The biggest mistake I see clients make is trying to change their

“outer” world first — their relationships, careers, body, financial status
— without changing their “inner” world.

Your inner world consists of your thoughts and feelings.

Most people believe that it’s their circumstances (“outer” world)
creating how they feel, but it never is.

What you think determines how you feel.

The reason why you desire anything is because you want to feel a
certain way.

Yet, the way most women go about feeling better is to attempt to
change their circumstances, which never works long term.

Have you ever created what you thought would make you feel better
only to feel the same (or maybe even worse)?

It’s like the time I starved myself down to a size 2 and was more
insecure and miserable than ever.

My weight changed; I didn’t.

True change comes from styling your inner world — your thoughts
and feelings.

In order to makeover your life, you must makeover your mind to
create an amazing and lasting “after.”

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Here’s a peek into my mental “before:”
I’m not good enough.
A girl like me doesn’t do things like that.
I’m stuck and confused.
I’ll never find a good man.
I have no control over my future.
I’ll never have enough money.
There’s not enough time.
I’m not a good mother.
I never follow through.
I hate my body.
I’ll always struggle with my weight.
Life is hard.

You can probably imagine a typical day in the

life of my “before” self.
• I was overweight (at one point I wore a size 18).
• I dressed like I had given up on life.
• “Overwhelm” was my favorite word.
• I woke up each day with dread and anxiety.
• I let myself down day after day.
• I avoided looking at my bank account.
• I tried to control everyone around me to feel better.
• I selected partners that didn’t bring out my best.

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For years, I tried to “fix” my life by taking a lot of action —
trying the next new diet, getting organized, swearing that I’d
start a budget, changing jobs, joining the gym, looking for better
relationships — but everything felt so hard. Inevitably, I’d come
back to my old ways of being.

However, when I started focusing on styling my mind,

EVERYTHING started to change.

I felt better. I took better action.

I literally recreated myself from the inside out by giving myself a

mindset makeover.

Here’s a sample of my mental “after.”

I am smart and capable of doing incredible things.
Life is a wonderful playground filled with opportunities.
I am clear and know exactly what I want.
I love taking care of my body.

Outer WorldChanges
Money is fun and easy.
I’m an amazing mother.
I can do hard things.
My future is bigger than my past.
People get to be who they are.
Each day is amazing.
It’s okay to fail.
I love learning and growing.

As a result, here’s my “outer” world today:

• I maintain a size 6 body with ease.
• I wake up each day excited about what’s on my calendar.
• I have a wonderful relationship with my daughter.
• I think about my future way more than I ponder my past.
• I can be around people who use to trigger me with no drama.
• I have a thriving company that offers me financial freedom.
• I love the work I do in the world.
• I’m learning French and other interesting things every day.
• I travel at least 2 months every year.
• I have loving and supportive relationships.

My outer world didn’t change first.

I styled my mind for what I desired, and it
started appearing everywhere.
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When I consider the “before” Tonya — the girl who grew up in the Deep South
in a religion that denounced all things “worldly,” lived in a trailer, worked at
Walmart, who thought self-care was rewarding herself with a box of Dunkin
Donut Munchkins after taking care of everyone else, and believed that the
“good life” didn’t happen to girls like her — it’s MIND-BLOWING to think
about my “after.”

I am unrecognizable to the woman I was. I see the world through a different

lens, but more importantly, I decide what I choose to believe about myself, and
that has made all the difference.

I hope that my “before and after” will inspire you to create your own.

This is YOUR new season.

What “after” story do you want to create?

For your lookbook, I recommend that you think about a specific area of your life
that you want to makeover.

Your health
Your career
Your relationships.
Your finances
Your career/business
Your stress levels

You can always choose another later, but part of the “after” I see with clients is
their ability to make decisions and focus, so let’s practice that now.

What area of your life do you want to focus on?

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 MINDSET MAKEOVER #1:
1
st y l e yo u r f u t u r e

Make your future bigger than your past.

For your first mindset makeover, let’s take a trip to the future.

But, first …

Are you past-focused?

Style Your Future

Do you spend more time wallowing

in the past or thinking about the possibility
of your future?

Here’s how past-focused people think:

Well, I’ve never been able to do it before.
I tried that once and it didn’t work.
I didn’t graduate from college.
He left me.
I’ve never been organized.
I’ve always struggled with money.

When you are focused on the past, you’re recycling old thoughts
and beliefs over and over, feeling the same ways day after day and
experiencing the same outcomes.

Even when you try to take a new action, with past focused
thinking, you’ll inevitably come back to your baseline — what you
believe to be true about yourself and the world.

If you want to be the artist of your life, you must start thinking
and living from your future.

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 So, let’s jump into my time travel device and take a trip to the future where you’re
living your “after” version.

Meet your future self.

Imagine that you are living the “after” of the area of your life that you’re focused on.

Ask yourself:

What did I create in this area of my life?

How did you have to think differently to create it?
What actions did you take to get here?
How are you feeling now that you’re living your “after”?
How do you dress, eat, walk into a room?
Who do you hang out with?
What are you thanking yourself for?
What 3 words describe this area of your life?


Write yourself a letter from your future self. Let that
wise, fun and inspiring part of you guide you.

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 a n ot e f r o m
YOUR FUTURE SELF

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 2

Style your Present

MINDSET MAKEOVER #2:
st yle your prese n t

You are not a problem to be fixed; you’re a

woman to be created.
In life, I’ve realized that there are two types of people: carpenters and
artists.

Carpenters are those who look for problems to fix. They are reactive
and typically go through the motions of what they know.

I tried to “fix” my weight, my bank account, relationships, everything.

In my mind, I was broken, so I walked around life with a hammer in
hand looking for what needed repairing.

Artists, on the other hand, see life as a canvas of possibility where
each thought, feeling and action is an act of creation. They have a
vivid imagination and think beyond current circumstances. They
bring ideas to life.

When I realized the truth, that I wasn’t

broken and that I could create myself on
purpose, I put down the hammer and
picked up the paintbrush.

I began to paint my life with brighter and beautiful thoughts. I
practiced confident and empowering states of being. I took bigger
and bolder risks.

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No longer was I reacting to the old, familiar patterns and trying
to fix them. I started to imagine things that had never been and
practiced believing them even though I couldn’t see them yet.

I became defined by my future, not my past.

To create a future you’ve never had,
you must become someone
you’ve never been.

You must think in ways you’ve never thought, feel in ways

you’ve never felt and act in ways you’ve never acted.

You must embody your future self NOW to create your

“after.”

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Read your letter from your future self and decide what 3
things you’ll start embodying now.

Here are some ideas:

Is your future self full of gratitude? Start a gratitude journal.

Is your future self thanking you for being courageous? What’s one courageous act you
can make today?

Does your future self dress well every day? Go invest in an outfit that you imagine
yourself wearing in the future.

Is your future self wealthy? Practice thinking wealthy thoughts, such as “I am capable
of creating money.”

Does she dance? Sign up for a local salsa class.

Is your future self running a multi-million dollar company? Show up everyday as the
CEO of your business even if you currently have one client.

Does she feel confident? Practice one confident thought and take one confident action
TODAY!

Does she speak fluent French? Sign up for a French class.

Does she have a life full of loving friends? Reach out to a friend and invite her to coffee.

What are 3 ways you’ll embody your future self this

week?

1. ____________________________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________________________
3. ____________________________________________________________________

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 MINDSET MAKEOVER #3:
3
st y l e yo u r q u e st io n s
Style your Questions

The quality of your life is determined by the

quality of your questions.

Our mothers were onto something when they told us to mind our “P’s
and Q’s.”

However, I’m not speaking of your manners.

I’m speaking about your language. More importantly, your questions.

Most of our thoughts are based off of the unconscious questions
we ask ourselves. Unfortunately, most women are asking the same
habitual questions day after day, styling their minds with negative
responses.

Questions such as:

Why did that happen to me?
Why am I so fat?
Why can’t I make more money?
Why can’t I find a man?
Why can’t I get it together?
What’s wrong with me?

These types of questions keep you stuck in patterns of the past,

because the brain will always provide the answer you’re looking for.

Do you really want the answer to “Why am I so fat?”

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Most likely, your answer will be something like:

• Because you love food so much.
• You have no willpower.
• You’re lazy and hopeless.

Do these answers inspire you? Do they get you excited about your future?

Not. At. All.

C’mon! You’re a creative woman. Ask creative

questions.

The future you who is flaunting a size 8 dress and feeling amazing styled her
questions to receive better answers.

She asked:

How can I learn to deal with my emotional life?

How can I take excellent care of my body?
How can I love my body the way it is right now?
How can I create more fun and excitement in my life?

To create your “after,” you must style your questions to provide the answers that will
get you there.

“Why am I so broke” becomes “How can I create more money?”

“Why can’t I find a good man” becomes “What type of man am I excited to meet?”

“Why is my marriage so terrible” becomes “How can I appreciate this man more?”

“Why did that happen to me” becomes “How can I learn and grow from this?”

“Why is this so hard” becomes “How can I make this easier?”

“Why can’t I grow my business” becomes “How can I provide so much value that
people are dying to work with me?”

“What if I make the wrong decision” becomes “How can I feel great about whatever
decision I make?”

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It’s time to style your questions to create your amazing “after.”

BEFORE QUESTIONS
Think about the area of your life that you want to change.

What types of questions are you currently asking that’s created your “before”?

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AFTER QUESTIONS
Fast forward to you living your “after.”

How did your questions change? What types of questions provided you with more
empowering answers?

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If you’ve created a loving, passionate marriage, maybe you
asked questions such as:

• How can I love this man more?

• How fun would it be to have a date night once a
week?
• How can I feel sexier?
• What if he didn’t need to change in order for me to
feel in love?
• What do I appreciate about him?
• I wonder what’s possible if I drop all my beliefs
about him and just love him?

It’s time to step into possibility my friend.

For a moment, drop what you think you know about life and
think from your future self.

What questions are you currently asking about this area of your
life?

What questions does your future self ask?

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 EXTRA INSPIRATION
because a stylist can never have
too much of it!

In order to create a future you’ve never had, you must constantly remind yourself of
the “after” you crave. If not, your mind will slip into old, familiar patterns.

Mind makeovers require

consistent practice and commitment.

When you’ve thought a certain way for a long time, you must be diligent in
reminding yourself of where you’re going. You must rewire your mind with new
ideas and experiences.

You must work on inspiring yourself daily.

Here are some prompts for extra inspiration:

Quotes Your Future Self Swears By

What are the quotes that picked her up when she was down, reminded her of her
own beauty and greatness and kept her inspired?

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 Create a Visual Lookbook

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.

When you read your letter from your future self, what images are part of your
“after”?

Collect them and look at them often to remind you of the woman you desire to be
and the life you want to create.

Here are different ways of creating your visual lookbook:

• Create a book filled of images. Think of it as your next collection.
• Create a board of inspiring images that embody your “after.”
• Create a Pinterest board. You can also create sub-boards for different
areas of your life.
• Create a collage of images as a screensaver on your computer

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About
TONYA
In a world that encourages women to push, prove and
pressure our way to success, French Kiss Life offers an
enticing alternative:

Make your life a work of art.

As a lifestyle brand for the modern woman,
at French Kiss Life we offer practical advice,
inspiring conversations, a vibrant community, and
transformational experiences to elevate the everyday
lives of women.

We are creating lives that our 90-year old selves will

raise a glass of Champagne to one day and say, “Well
done, darling.”

As the Founder and CEO of French Kiss Life, Inc.,

Tonya Leigh Rising has worked with Oprah and the
IKEA Life Improvement Project and has spoken
to audiences around the world on a wide array of
topics ranging from being a woman in today’s world
to embracing entrepreneurship as a fun and spiritual
journey.

To learn more, please go to FrenchKissLife.com

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