When a car starts to get old, its parts begin to malfunction.

Many of the symptoms of a breaking

down car are obvious to the driver, but sometimes, only a mechanic will know the true cause.
The same is true of our bodies. Sometimes our bodies start to break down and we know
exactly what is the reason, like a broken arm. But other times the symptoms and causes of our
malfunctioning organism aren’t so clear. Here are twenty bizarre ways that our body can break
down, some for obvious reasons, and some for not so obvious reasons that even physicians
may be hard pressed to diagnose.

1. Disseminated intravascular coagulation: This is worse than finding sand in your gas tank.
This condition is a result of massive trauma or infection and has the effect of causing blood to
coagulate in arteries throughout the body. In some instances, the chemicals that cause clotting
are used up, and massive internal or external bleeding may occur.

2. Barrett’s Esophagus: When you don’t change the water in your radiator, your cooling
system can get all clogged up. Barrett’s esophagus is what happens when your get too much
acid reflux in your throat. The cells in the esophagus start to corrode, and are replaced with
cells that are normally found in your stomach. This condition is considered to be a precursor to
esophageal cancer.

3. Keratoconus: When your windshield is pitted or cracked, you can’t see well enough to
drive.. Keratoconus is a degenerative condition of the cornea that makes it difficult to see. The
cornea assumes a cone shape that doesn’t allow images to focus correctly on the retina. This
condition sometimes requires a cornea transplant, which is a lot more costly than a new
windshield.

4. Peyronie’s Disease: Have you ever had a crooked dipstick that makes it hard to check your
motor oil? Peyronie’s disease is a fibrosis of the penis that causes it to be crooked. Some
cases are so severe that intercourse is nearly impossible. The condition is difficult to treat, but
fortunately, it sometimes responds to physical therapy. In the case of car, most people would
just choose to get a new dipstick.

5. Palilalia: Sometimes our significant other will nag, “The car is broken, the car is broken, the
car is broken” He/she might be suffering from palilalia, which is the tendency to repeat phrases
over and over like a parrot. The disorder can result from several psychiatric disorders, or from
brain trauma. Hearing it from a significant other who doesn’t have a disorder may cause one to
want to inflict brain trauma.

6. Rosacea: Leaving a car out in the sun year after year will result in dimpling or fading of the
paint. Acne rosacea is a chronic skin condition that is exacerbated by sun exposure. The
condition resembles acne with small pimples except there is an associated reddening of the skin
due to inflammation of skin blood vessels. The condition will respond to some types of
antibiotics and other creams, unlike a ruined paint job on your cherry red Porsche.
7. Hypospadias: A burst radiator hose can leave a mess of antifreeze in your garage.
Hypospadias can leave a mess in your bathroom. In this condition, there is a hole in the urethra
on the underside of the penis, sometimes causing urine to spray out. Some men find it easier to
sit on the toilet to avoid this from happening. The defect is usually curable through surgery if it
is diagnosed as a newborn.

8. Squamous cell carcinoma of the tongue: Spilling too much vodka on your car’s new
upholstery isn’t a good idea, nor is smoking too many cigarettes good for the interior of your car.
The same is true for your tongue. Squamous cell carcinoma of the tongue is one of the more
common types of mouth cancer that can occur, and is one of the most disfiguring and potentially
deadly. Smoking and drinking alcohol have a combined effect that make this cancer much more
likely.

9. Hematemesis: A hole in your fuel line will leak precious gas from your system and keep
your car from running correctly. Hematemesis is the vomiting of our own precious life blood
from our system. Vomiting red blood is a sign of an active bleed somewhere in the upper
digestive tract such as the stomach or the esophagus. A doctor with use a scope to visualize
the tract to find the source of the leakage of blood. A massive leak of can empty our blood
reservoir, and we all know what happens when a car runs out of gas.

10. Hematochezia: A malfunctioning car might spew gas out the exhaust pipe. A
malfunctioning digestive system will sometimes spew blood out our exhaust pipe.
Hematochezia, or defecating blood, usually means that bleeding is occurring in the lower
digestive tract, somewhere in the intestines, colon, or the anus. Colon cancer is a common
cause, but there may be other reasons as well. Once again. the doctor will use a scope to
detect the source of the bleeding.

11. Hematuria: In a severely malfunctioning car, motor oil can sometimes get mixed with the
radiator coolant, causing havoc in the engine. Hematuria is when blood is found in the urine.
Blood cells can leak through the membranes in a malfunctioning kidney, or there may be
lesions, kidney stones, or infections along the ureters that lead from the kidneys. Blood in the
urine is never normal and the doctor will run a battery of tests to find the source of the bleeding.
A urinalysis might show signs of infection, or a cat scan or ultrasound might find kidney stones
in the ureters leading from the kidneys.

12. Necrotizing fasciitis Cars used to rust so fast in the midwest from salt that there would be
nothing left but four tires and the seats. Necrotizing fasciitis is caused by a bacteria that literally
eats its way through the body like rapidly spreading rust. The disease is also known as flesh
eating bacteria. Most cases are found in people with compromised immune systems due to
illnesses or cancer, but rare cases occur in health individuals. Just like a rust spot, sometimes
the only way to get rid of the infection is to surgically remove it. The bacteria that cause this
bodily malfunction are often resistant to antibiotics.
13. Aortic rupture Sometimes the wheels will simply fall off an old car, with catastrophic results.
Aortic rupture is a catastrophic rupture of the main artery that leads out of the heart. Without
radical surgical intervention, it is nearly always fatal. Aortic rupture can be caused by trauma, or
through the rupture of aneurysms in the aorta.

14. Meningitis: Meningitis is akin to getting the computer wires wet in your car. None of the
central control features that make the car function normally will work Meningitis is when the
protective lining around the spinal cord and brain becomes infected with bacteria. Symptoms
will be a severe headache, fever, and body aches that are similar to a terrible case of the flu. If
the infection is left untreated, organs vital for life such as the lungs and heart can malfunction. A
physician will take a sample of cerebrospinal fluid to diagnose this dangerous condition.

15. Jaundice When you don’t wash your car, it won’t shine like it used to. Jaundice is a
yellowing of the skin caused when the liver doesn’t wash the toxins out of our bodies. When the
liver malfunctions, by-products can build up in our bloodstream and begin to be deposited in our
skin and the whites of our eyes, tinting them yellow. Jaundice is a sign that the liver isn’t
working correctly due to ingesting too much alcohol, infections like hepatitis, cancer of the liver,
or problems with the bile secretion ducts that leave from the liver and go to the gall bladder.

16. Hemiparesis: Having two flat tires on one side of your car won’t let it respond the way it
should. Hemiparesis is a paralysis on one side of the body. This usually results from some kind
of trauma to the brain, spinal cord, or a lack of bloodflow to the brain called a stroke. Depending
on how severe the injury is to the nervous system, the body may recuperate part of its
functioning. However, in severe cases the paralysis can be permanent. Just imagine trying to
drive with permanently flat tires on one side of your car!

17 Brainerd Diarrhea: Imagine the smoke and noise coming out your exhaust if you put diesel
fuel in your tank instead of regular gas. Brainerd diarrhea is form of unusually violent and
gaseous diarrhea that can afflict people after eating contaminated dairy products. It doesn’t
respond well to antibiotics, but usually self corrects after several weeks or months.

18. Pica: When you don’t have enough money for gas, you might be tempted to put something
else less expensive in your tank. Some people who do not ingest enough iron develop an
appetite for clay, chalk, paint or even dirt, as a compensatory mechanism. Other psychological
factors may be a cause of pica as well. But if you get a craving for a mud pie, check your iron
levels.

19 Mastitis: When the dimmer switch on your car malfunctions, you can end up driving around
with your brights on. Mastitis is an inflammation and redness that can affect women’s breasts
due to infection or to over engorgement with milk when initiating breast feeding. Cold
compresses and massage can do a lot to relieve this condition.
20. Anosmia If you let your car get moldy on the inside, no amount of air freshener will get rid
of the odor. In that case, you may wish you suffered from anosmia, which is a lack of the sense
of smell. This condition usually results from inflammation and congestion of the nasal
passages, but may be related to brain injuries.