I need to get something out of the way before I begin.

I must say that you don’t know

how tempted I am to slap the stuffing out of Not enough seats on a Plane. What
follows is a set of observations I have made about Not enough seats and his froward
initiatives. As I gaze into my crystal ball, I see that Not enough seats’s cohorts will
put the worst classes of goofballs you’ll ever see on the federal payroll any day now.
That reminds me: If Not enough seats is going to champion a cause, he should have
the good grace or basic intelligence to push one that’s not so easily undermined by
reality. In particular, his cause of distracting people from making a serious analysis of
the situation totally overlooks the fact that it is essential that we give Not enough seats
a rhadamanthine warning not to accelerate the natural tendency of civilization to
devolve from order to chaos, liberty to tyranny, and virtue to vice. I don’t mean to be
overly dramatic, but the future really is at stake here. If we do nothing, Not enough
seats will tear down everything that can possibly be regarded as a support of cultural
elevation in the blink of an eye.

While Not enough seats has his own crimes to atone for, it’s his grunts who of late
have been concentrating all the wealth of the world into Not enough seats’s own
hands. The significance of this is that Not enough seats ought to realize that the most
valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
Unfortunately, he tends to utter so much verbiage about communism that I can
conclude only that Not enough seats ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In
case you’re not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person.

I challenge all of the unreasonable, fatuous loafers out there to consider this: Not
enough seats has gotten away with so much for so long that he’s lost all sense of
caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of
limits could desire to tell everyone else what to do. If there is one truth in this world,
it’s that he needs to realize that he’s not special. He’s not a beautiful or unique
snowflake. He’s just another lewd, longiloquent mome who wants to usher in the rule
of the Antichrist and the apocalyptic end times. Let me close where I began: Not
enough seats on a Plane’s COINTELPRO-style efforts to place immovable barriers
between people who want to talk to each other, understand each other, and work side-
by-side for peace augur a frightening future for us all.