K"korrh"phiophobi": Persistent, All-Consuming Fe"r of F"ilure

"Our doubts +re tr+itors,

And m+ke us lose the good we oft might win
By fe+ring to +ttempt."
Willi$m Sh$kespe$re, Me#sure for Me#sure
Here's + new word for you…
K#korrh#phiophobi# is +n +bnorm+l, persistent, irr+tion+l fe+r of f+ilure. In clinic+l c+ses, it's debilit+ting: the fe+r
of even the most subtle f+ilure or defe+t is so intense th+t it restricts + person from doing +nything +t +ll.
K+korrh+phiophobi+ is the most extreme version of wh+t we +ll experience when we decide to +cquire + new skill:
doubt, uncert+inty, +nxiety +bout our c+p+bilities, +nd fe+r of wh+t others will think:
● "Wh+t if I f+il?"
● "Wh+t if I look b+d?"
● "Wh+t if others think I'm stupid?"
● "Wh+t if others think I'm not very good?"
● "Wh+t if others +ren't impressed with wh+t I c+n do?"
Ple$se Don't Look At Me
H+ve you ever wondered why everyone is willing to t+lk +bout the things they c+n do well, but +re +lmost never
willing to discuss the things they're trying to le+rn how to do, but c+n't yet do very well?
H+ve you ever noticed th+t, if you c+n get someone to show you wh+t they're le+rning, they +lmost +lw+ys begin
with +n +pology, +nd spe+k in +n emb+rr+ssed tone of voice, reg+rdless of how skilled they +re or how much
they've pr+cticed?
Th+t's why.
One of the prim+ry re+sons I wrote The First 20 Hours w+s to bre+k the gener+l silence th+t surrounds the e+rly
st+ges of skill +cquisition. Rese+rchers +nd +uthors who cover skill +cquisition +lmost univers+lly prefer to spe+k
in terms of "m+stery": +n +morphous topic th+t's +spir+tion+l +nd often inspiring, but seldom helpful when it
comes to using the rese+rch to level up your own skills.
I prefer to focus on the useful p+rt: how to +ctu+lly go +bout +cquiring new skills. Not h+nd-w+vy theory: nuts-
+nd-bolts pr+ctice.
Everyone who decides to le+rn how to do something new struggles +t first, +nd being + beginner is never e+sy.
Most people give up too soon for the wrong re+sons, or feel b+d +bout giving up for the right re+sons. Millions of
people +void st+rting +t +ll out of + misguided fe+r th+t others will think less of them if they try.
Here's the gre+t thing +bout irr+tion+l fe+rs: you c+n often diffuse them simply by p+ying conscious +ttention to
them. So let's d+nce with our irr+tion+l fe+r of f+ilure for + moment…
Wh$t if you f$il?
Well, wh+t does "f+iling" me+n? Unless it's something perm+nent like de+th or dis+bility, it's prob+bly not th+t big
of + de+l, +nd even m+jor risks c+n be prevented with + little +dv+nce pl+nning.
Even if you don't get everything you w+nt, +lmost no effort is + complete w+ste: you'll h+ve m+ny interesting
experiences, be +ble to do new things, +nd h+ve + few new stories to tell. Th+t's not so b+d.
Wh$t if you look b$d?
Look b+d to whom? Do they m+tter? Should you c+re?
The people who m+tter most (including f+mily, close friends, +nd colle+gues) will very seldom think poorly of you
for trying something new or improving yourself in gener+l. They m+y not underst+nd +t first, +nd they m+y feel
concerned +bout you for re+sons of their own, but th+t's not + good re+son to +void trying +t +ll.
Also, the v+st m+jority of the skill +cquisition process h+ppens in priv+te. It's common to t+lk +bout skills in the
context of public perform+nce, but th+t's not where skill is developed. You get better working in priv+te, d+y-by-
d+y, without notice or f+nf+re.
The re+l +udience th+t m+tters here is yourself: c+n you turn off the self-criticism long enough to sit down +nd
pr+ctice well? Th+t's wh+t counts.
Wh$t if others think I'm stupid?
First: you'd be surprised how little most people think of you +t +ll. They're not being unch+rit+ble or +p+thetic:
they're just busy worrying +bout their own stuff most of the time.
And if someone notices your effort +nd thinks less of you? Those people +ren't worth worrying +bout. If someone
decides to be th+t unch+rit+ble, why limit yourself just to impress them?
Trolls, h+ters, +nd pigeons 1 cert+inly exist - for proof, t+ke + look +t the 1-st+r reviews I e+rned for The First 20
Hours by being willing to t+lk fr+nkly +bout being + beginner, not +n expert. Sever+l people were "not impressed,"
to put it mildly.
Here's the thing: wh+t other people think doesn't m+tter when it comes to developing skill. Are you going to let
some r+ndom m+lcontent prevent you from being +ble to do wh+t you w+nt to be +ble to do?
Wh$t if others think I'm not very good?
Is th+t + tr+gedy? Is th+t + perm+nent sentence of etern+l un-coolness?
Everyone who develops +ny level of skill in #nything went through + period where they weren't very good +t +ll.
It's +n un+void+ble p+rt of the process. The people who persist through th+t period, +nd keep pr+cticing in +
sm+rt w+y, +re the ones th+t develop impressive skills.
How long will th+t period l+st? It depends on wh+t you're doing, how much you pr+ctice, +nd how sm+rt your
pr+ctice str+tegy is. The best news is th+t the pr+ctice str+tegies th+t work best in the beginning ph+ses of skill
+cquisition work best during +ll ph+ses of the process.
Fund+ment+ls +re fund+ment+ls.
Fe$r Not Trying
Being sc+red of f+iling prevents most of us from noticing the truth: if you pr+ctice in + sm+rt w+y, p+y close
+ttention to how you're performing, +nd +djust your str+tegy +s you progress, you'll improve. Simple +s th+t. Fe+r
of "f+iling" is +n illusion: + toxic mix of self-consciousness, fuzzy objectives, +nd +ll-or-nothing thinking.
Here's something th+t's worth being fe+rful of: not trying. Ignoring the desire. Avoiding the uncert+inty +nd effort.
Abdic+ting your responsibility to improve your own knowledge +nd c+p+bilities.
Don't fe+r f+ilure. Fe+r not trying +t +ll.
Just uplo+d to downlo+d somthing :)