Characters ASHLEY OLLIE This text went to press before the end of rehearsals and so may differ slightly from the play as performed. 1 ASHLEY ‘Tracey has thrush. At least, I'm pretty sure she has. She wants me to have a look but she knows Iwon't so I don’t know why she asks. Tis for Thrush. ‘Vaginal thrush is a yeast infection that is usually caused by a type of fungus that lives naturally in the vagina, ‘Typical symptoms include itching and soreness, pain during sex (Trace reckons it killed when she shagged Chris Chambers, and he’s not that big apparently) and cottage-cheese discharge. So it seems like a textbook case, Thrush. She's not happy when [tell her she can’t have sex tll t clears up. I's not an STI, but you can stil. You can still pas it on if you You can pass it on. Do I need to. Maybe I should... No. No. write down the name of the medication she needs (Caneston Combi is the one everyone on the forum recommends) and take three quid off her. ‘Trace is always reluctant to pay, cos this surgery was kind of her idea, but she gets aten-per-cent ‘cut of the takings so she’s only cheating herself by not paying. Why am I giving out sexual-health advice?GERM FREE ADOLESCENT ‘Well. A few months ago Trace had chlamydia and I diagnosed it See, I'd read ~ Td read a Jot about it Cis for Chlamydia, ‘THE most common sexually transmitted infection in the UK. Passed on from one person to another through unprotected sex. In 2018, two hundred and eighteen thousand, and ninety-five people tested positive for chlamydia in England. Sixty per cent of those were under ‘twenty-five years old ‘Older people shouldn’t be smug though, because the largest proportional increase in diagnoses ‘came in the over-sixty-five age group. Yeah. I's easily treatable with antibiotics. That's what told her, Tracey, Because itis And she was appreciative. ‘Then she suggested I could make a bit of money giving this kind of advice out. As I know so much, About About ‘And I know people can go to the ‘sexual-health hub’ at Clover Street but — ‘You know. Can be a bit awkward, So Tun my clinic three lunchtimes a week. People can come and ask me anything. h— OLLIE ONE Ilay out my leaflets, four on each subject and let people look through them, They're not allowed to take them away though. ‘There needs to be four of each. After she pays (reluctantly), Tracey asks me if I'm ready for tonight. ‘The big night. ‘Nudge nudge, wink wink ‘The night that me and Ollie are going to. Me and Ollie are going to... When me and Ashley first started going out I got ‘a message off Mike Reeds. Well it was anonymous but [knew it was Mike, cos he’s the only twat who'd send something like that It said ‘Your girlfiend’s dog rough.” ‘My dad reckons I should've knocked him out. Twanted to, But- didn’t. know some people think Ash is abit. funny. Abit But I think she’s gorgeous Always have. ‘To be honest Didn't have the guts to tell her though Not for ages. ‘The thing is right, she’s never been in a group, if ‘you know what I mean. ‘She weren’t in school enough. She was hardly in tall in Year 10. People said it was cos she was