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Persuasive Speakology Transcript
Persuasive Speakology Transcript
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them, so that they can justify their decision to comply with you, to
buy from you, to believe in what you're asking them to believe, to
do what you're asking them to do, etc.
Then the third part of the method is to assess the landscape. And so
I tell people all the time that even though when we talk about the
principles of influence, persuasion, the human mind, and
psychology, even though they're timeless principles. Because the
thoughts and behaviors of human beings haven't changed since the
dawn of time, and they're not going to change anytime soon. There
are certain variables that dictate how successful we can be when we
utilize a certain set of tactics, strategies, or techniques. And the
three main variables are circumstance, environment, and situation.
And so when we go to an environment, you communicate
differently with people at a funeral than you do at a wedding. You
communicate differently with your best friend than you do with
your boss. And so if you were to use a certain technique to persuade
someone, you-- Even though that specific technique is designed to
get a certain result, it might not be the best technique to use based
on the situation environment or the circumstance. And so in part
three of the method, we assess the landscape. We assess the
different types of environments and situations where you would be
utilizing the techniques and strategies and when to use them in
those particular times, which ones work best.
Next part is to merge with the audience. And so what that really
means is that regardless of how good you are triggering emotion,
how good you are captivating the mind, how good you are at public
speaking, negotiating, selling; the fact of the matter is, if you
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cannot merge with your audience and become one with them,
chances are all of that other stuff doesn't matter. And I always circle
back to something that I heard from Tony Robbins years ago. He
said people are persuaded by people that they like, and people that
they want to be like. And so merging with the audience is just
simply connecting with them in a way where they feel safe,
comfortable, and engaged around you.
And then the last part of the method is to influence behavior. Is to
then take everything that we've learned and put it all together and
then influence the thoughts and behaviors of others, to do what we
want them to do. To believe in what we want them to believe. To
launch a movement. To motivate them. To do whatever it is that we
want to do with our words.
So, let's move right into part one, which is triggering emotion. And
so we start with the psychology behind effective speaking. So, first,
I want to talk to you a little bit about what works and what doesn't
work. Emotions move people, to persuade others, and to influence
them to take action or transform you, as a speaker, must appeal to
their emotions. Now, even if you have data to support your cause,
the data will be meaningless to people unless you can wrap it up in
words that will stir their emotions and engage their spirits.
And so let's just say your message was being backed by data. So,
let's say that you were selling a microphone. I'm recording this on a
Yeti blue microphone, I bought it on Amazon. I went through tons
of microphones throughout the years, and I found this to be the
best one. It's a USB microphone, which means it plugs right into the
computer, it was about 100 bucks. It's got a couple of different
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settings on it. But what I like most about it is that when you choose
one of the settings in the back of the microphone, what it does is it
enables the microphone to pick up your voice based on the direction
that it's coming in. So, rather than picking up every single thing,
every single sound that's in the room, it picks up just my voice
based on the direction that it's going to.
Now let's say I was selling this microphone, and I wanted to present
data. And my data was that 85% of customers said that they prefer
this microphone because of the directional feature. That's good,
that's fine. That's good supportive data that ultimately supports my
argument. But if I were to instead just go back and tell you a story
about how years ago I bought a different microphone, and I created
the best product under the sun. And when I finished recording, I
realized that the microphone picked up every sound in the room.
And so regardless of how good the product was, the customers
didn't like it because of the sound quality. Which one of those is
going to resonate with you more? The second one, okay. Just
because I have data that supports my cause, my argument, my
speech doesn't necessarily mean that the message is going to stick
with people, because I haven't touched any emotions.
But if I talk about the emotion of the customers not being happy. If I
talk about my frustration, with the fact that I spent hours on end,
creating this one product and thought it was the best possible thing
I could create, only to find out that I wasted all that time because
the microphone wasn't good. When I talk about those types of
emotions, I can resonate with you a lot better. Words create
emotion. So, we need emotion, right, we need to trigger emotion
and words create emotion. Right? If I tell you that I think you are
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men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics
will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro
spiritual, Free at last, Free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free
at last.” Notice also the repetition that Churchill and King put into
these remarks. Repeating something in a slightly different way,
helps your listeners to assimilate your intent.
Now, human beings make judgments about other human beings
quickly. And these judgments are not necessarily logical. They are
based primarily on emotions. I mean, think about that. If you make
a snap subconscious judgment about somebody within the first
seven seconds of meeting them, which, that's what the statistics
tell us. It can't possibly be logical because you haven't had enough
time to know that person to make and formulate a logical opinion
about them. So, it can only be based on emotions. We follow leaders.
As a presenter, you're automatically thought of as an authority on a
subject the audience expects you to lead. But you will quickly lose
favor if you don't own that spirit of leadership from the start. And I
talk a lot about the Milgram controversial experiments which show
that it's very difficult for most people to resist authority. You can
use these findings to your own advantage.
And so basically, what the Milgram experiments told us, was, a
bunch of people were presented with the presence of an authority.
And the authority told the people that were participating in the test
or in the experiment to administer electrical shocks to people. And,
of course, the electrical shock mechanism wasn't really turned on.
It was fake, it was staged. But really, the premise of the experiment
was to see if these people would administer shocks that they knew
would ultimately be lethal, or could potentially be lethal, simply
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because the authority told them to. And what we found was that
they absolutely would.
And so what this tells us is that authority is extremely important.
You know, when you go to the doctor, and you don't feel so good,
what happens? You go to the doctor, you make an appointment for
three o'clock, they don't see you until 3:30. And then you wait in the
waiting room, in the exam room for another half an hour. So, the
doctor comes in an hour later. He examines you, he tells you you got
a sore throat, he writes you a script he sends you on your way. What
do you do? You go, you leave, you fill your script, you take your
medicine. You don't get mad at the doctor for making you wait an
hour, you don't question if he or she knows what they're talking
about. You just accept what they tell you. Right? Unless it's a
life-threatening disease that requires a second opinion, you are just
going to listen to the doctor. And that is because human beings are
hard-wired to listen to and obey authorities. And so it's your job to
start to adopt and adapt who you are, and take on the role of a
leader.
We read people quickly. We read people within a split second and we
pay attention to body movement as well as vocal tone. The past 15
years of psychological research clearly indicates that people made
an unconscious judgment within one second, as Malcolm Gladwell
explains in his book, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking.
The way that you stand with confidence, and the way that you
modulate your speech, as well as the warmth of your tone all make
a difference to whether people will let you have access to their
emotions. And I want you to think about this because as I said,
when we first started, really what this program is designed to do is
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function. Think about how you feel first thing in the morning when
you're asked to solve a difficult problem. My response is usually
slow down, I haven't had my coffee yet. And so really what's going
on is problem-solving involves use of the conscious mind. And we
don't use our conscious mind all day. When you concentrate on a
problem or you make a decision, then you're using the conscious
mind. But our brains would get exhausted if we had to do this all the
time.
Also, depending on what you're doing, it can be somewhat of a slow
process. So, your unconscious mind takes over and handles the
majority of the workload. So, one way that our brains solve this
problem is by putting actions and learn patterns on autopilot. So,
for example, when you first learn to drive a car, you had to think
about how to turn the steering wheel or how to park, or how to hit
the gas or the brake so that the car doesn't jerk back and forth. But
now that you've driven for years, your conscious mind doesn't have
to work to drive at all, unless you're jarred by something that you
don't expect, right?
So, if you've been driving for over a year, when you get in your car
and start driving, chances are you're not thinking about anything
that has to do with the function of driving at all. I mean, unless
you're in a new state and maybe you’re seeing some scenery that
you've never seen before. Nothing about the car driving experience
itself is probably even coming to your conscious mind. The entire
process is taking place, unconsciously, you are functioning
completely on autopilot until someone runs a stop sign and almost
crashes into you, then you snap and instantly start using the
conscious mind. So, really, the point of what I'm trying to tell you
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others doing the same. And we don't like to miss out when there's a
buzz about something.
Second set of influence principles are liking authority and scarcity.
Now, what these principles tell us is that we are predisposed to be
influenced or align ourselves with people that we like. As I said
when I quoted Tony Robbins, we are more likely to be persuaded by
people that we like, and people that we want to be like. So, think
about the difference between someone that you can't stand, maybe
a co-worker, or a relative that you wish you were related to, an old
friend. Somebody that you really just don't have much of a liking
for asking you to do them a favor, versus your best friend asking
you to do them a favor, right? You're more likely to do the favor for
the person that you actually like. Second is that speakers should
present themselves as authorities in order to influence others. We
talked briefly about the Milgram experiments and about how people
are more likely to comply and less likely to resist in the presence of
an authority. I actually created a whole course called the authority
code because it's that important.
And then the last principle is scarcity, which tells us that as
something becomes less available, we tend to want it more.
Diamonds. Diamonds are, “a rare type of jewel.” Well, I gotta tell
you, I've been on this planet for 38 years, and I still have not seen a
shortage of diamonds anywhere. And so my guess is that some guy
many moons ago, figured out how this scarcity thing works. And he
decided to tell people that diamonds are rare, and it's stuck. And
people to this day will pay more money for diamonds than they will
for other types of jewels because they are perceived to be rare. This
not only works with physical items, it works with human beings.
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Think about how things are when two people meet for the first time
in the dating arena. They meet, they go out on a date, they hit it off,
they text back and forth, they call each other. And all of a sudden,
one person suddenly becomes less available. What happens? I
mean, this has happened to me, it's happened to the best of us, it's
happened to all of us. What happens is you start to desire that
person more as they become less available.
Persuasion techniques are like a blueprint. Anyone can learn the
power and the proper persuasion techniques to influence, persuade,
and get others to comply in business and in life. But the measure of
how successful you will be in making others remember your
message, as well as repeat it to others is going to be based on how
effective your delivery is. That delivery is largely based on your
speaking persona, and how effectively you master the following six
persuasion power lovers. Now, this is one of those things that
makes persuasive speakology different than anything else that I've
created. Because I've never really talked about the six power
persuasion levers in one single context. I've talked about them
sporadically, but never in one single context. And they are
extremely important because these power levers are ultimately
going to dictate how successful you are in using persuasion and
influence techniques.
So, effective speaking requires that you create a persona that will
leave your audience with a favorable impression of you, as well as
the topic and message you wish to share. So, ask yourself these
questions for areas in which you can improve. What is your
awareness level? This is the first power lever is your awareness
level. In order to be persuasive, you need to establish rapport with
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others. How in alignment are you with the beliefs, thoughts, and
values of your audience? How well do you know their wishes,
desires, and perhaps most importantly, their feelings? Listen
carefully to others and ask probing questions in order to get the
inner core of what others are seeking. Then deliver it to them, or
wrap up your message in the language and aesthetics needed to
connect to your audience his deepest emotions. So, awareness is the
first power lover. How aware are you of the other person's feelings,
thoughts, desires, beliefs, whether it's a single individual or a mass
audience of a million people? How aware are you of what's going on
within them?
Second is your authenticity. Now, most people have an internal
measurement mechanism for genuineness or a BS meter. They
sense whether someone has their best interests at heart or if they
don't. Now, if they feel for any reason that the person isn't
authentic, they immediately tune out that message. Be
introspective. Do you care about your audience? Do you really want
them to be successful? Perhaps even more successful than you are.
If you don't feel secure, or authentic in what you're offering, you
may want to consider offering something else. A product or service
you believe in will make your true authentic self shine. Now, a lot of
times I see people screw this up because they sway too far to one
side. There are two sides to this coin. There's the authentic self, and
there's the persuasive self. So, the authentic self is who you are. It's
who you are as a human being. It's who you’ve been for the
however many years you've been on this earth. It's the way you
think, what you like to eat, what your beliefs are, the way you dress,
the way you carry yourself, what your beliefs and opinions are on
world matters, etc. That's your authentic self, that's who you are.
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And then there's the persuasive self. The persuasive self is the
fine-tuned version of that authentic self that will most effectively
resonate with the audience to accomplish the task at hand. A lot of
times people are either way too far on the left, on the authentic
side, and they're keeping it too real, almost. Or they're too far to the
other side trying to be too persuasive. And so let me explain what I
mean by that. There's a mantra that I see all over social media about
keeping it real and being yourself and acting who you are by nature,
and I get that. But if you sway too far to the authentic self, and it's
not conducive to what the persuasive self should be doing, you're
not going to persuade people. And so the example that I give all the
time as many years ago, I was running a fitness club. I had 50
people working for me. It was a big, huge operation in midtown
Manhattan. And I had a guy come in and he applied for a job as a
housekeeper. He came in for an interview. And he showed up to the
interview wearing a white t-shirt, a pair of shorts, and sneakers.
And when I sat down to talk to this guy, I realized he was a very
intelligent guy, very well-spoken, very articulate. We had a lot of
the same things in common and he knew how to do the job. So, by
all means, he should have gotten the job.
But when I asked him why you showed up to the job interview in
sneakers and shorts, he said, “Well, I was so confident in my ability
to get the job that I knew that you would see past the way that I was
dressed and hired me anyway.” And boy, was he wrong. He made a
big mistake. He came in too authentic. He came in, and for the sake
of being authentic, and being who he was, he lacked the tools that
he needed to be his persuasive self to persuade me to hire him. And
so I didn't hire him because what I realized is that he doesn't
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you don't. Do you own the stage? Do you use words that are
powerful and stir people's emotions? Do you have a commanding
presence? Does your voice have a richness and resonance? Do you
use gestures and pauses to give your message emphasis? All of
these things are important factors in whether your audience
perceives that you are an authority on your subject.
Next one, is your aptitude. So, the way that I want you to think
about this is your authority is about your perceived knowledge and
expertise. But your aptitude is about your actual knowledge and
expertise that you have on a particular subject. So, no one knows
everything about their subject. But it's important to work toward
mastery in an area if it's going to be your life's work. That means
you work every day to add expertise, credibility, and knowledge in
the topics that will make up the core of your message. When you're
truly knowledgeable about a particular subject, it shines out like
rays from the sun. So, again, authority is about your perceived
knowledge and expertise. And your aptitude is about your actual
expertise and knowledge.
And so the example that I give is that you could be the greatest
lawyer on the block. You could know everything about case law, you
could have graduated from Harvard Law School. But if you can't
convince a judge or jury or at the very least your clients that you are
that good, you will likely fail to the attorney who may be less
qualified that can demonstrate that, perceive the knowledge and
expertise. And so what I want you to realize is that perceived
knowledge and expertise and actual knowledge and expertise are
two very different things. Both of which are essential, though.
Because if you don't have actual knowledge and expertise, but
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not something you just tacked on to get attention. So, this is a little
trick and a little technique that I like to share with people where
let's just say you were fishing, right? You cast the line out into the
water, and then you have the bait which is attached to the hook.
And the hook ultimately captures the fish and brings them to you.
Well, using a hook to communicate your ideas is a very powerful
way to get people drawn in just like the fish. So, what I want to
share with you are three different potential hooks.
First, you can make an outrageous claim, because that ultimately
gets people's attention. But then you have to back it up with a story
or data that's presented in an interesting unique way. Second, is to
tell a story. People remember stories, and they have the potential to
touch people's emotions, which as we said, is very important.
That's the first part of this entire process. Or show a video that's
relevant to the topics at hand. You could also ask some questions to
get people thinking and lead them to a hypnotic state. Set up an
expectation of what people can expect from your presentation, and
what the takeaway will be. Show them an interesting object that will
pique their curiosity. You could also use a quote or adapt a quote
and connect it with the topics in your speech. Begin with, “Imagine
if you could…” and connect this with the topics you'll discuss, to get
your audience to engage their thinking. You can also reference an
event such as an important moment in history that connects to
your talk.
In addition to all the power levers that you need to create an
effective speaking persona, you also need to offer the audience
something new and exciting. Novelty grabs interest and attention.
Our brains are hard-wired to look for something new. It's these
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you a feeling of confidence and enhance your tone so you can come
across as relaxed instead of nervous. One of the things I tell people
all the time is that competence leads to confidence. The more
competent you are in a particular area, subject or topic, the more
confident you're gonna be when you are speaking about it to other
people. Because you're not going to be so worried about if what
you're saying is correct. You're not going to be worried about if you
get challenged, or asked a question about something that you don't
have the answer to. When you've done your homework on
something, and you know your stuff inside out, the only logical
result is that you will be more confident about it. So, always
remember that competence leads to confidence.
Now, let's talk about the pace. When you're making a presentation
to just one person or a group of people, it's important to get a sense
of their natural pace of speaking, there's a huge difference from
region to region in terms of people's natural speaking pace. From
country to country, this is true as well. So, to establish rapport, you
want to do as the Romans do. Meaning, when in Rome, do as the
Romans do. So, you want to again be able to adapt your pace based
on what you picked up in the awareness stage of those six levers
that I mentioned before. Because if you're not aware at all, at how
the other person speaks, or how that group of people speaks, then
ultimately, you're not going to be able to adapt. So, again, step one
is being aware of the pace that they use so that you can then adapt
your pace to theirs. Most established speakers know that their pace
should be similar to a conversation they're having with someone
over dinner.
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things to get their attention, like the first thing I'll do is ask them if
they want to play a game. And of course, every one of them raises
their hands. And so then I set the expectation of what they need to
do during the class. If they want to play the game at the end. I
constantly switch things up to keep them engaged. I use a lot of
analogies and stories when explaining things to them so that it
resonates with them in a way that they can understand. He doesn't
do any of that stuff.
Now, this is not about me, patting myself on the back saying what a
better coach I am. Because he's clearly a better Grappler than I am.
He gets the best of me every time we train together. I've never
tapped this guy once and he taps me all the time. But there's
something to be said about just knowing and having information,
and then having the ability to deliver that information in a way that
engages people. So, it's very important. And volume is one of the
key parts that unfortunately he's missing. He can't seem to
overcome that barrier of projecting his voice.
Then there's overpowering volume, which I have to admit
sometimes I've been accused of but I try to be cognizant of the
environment. But the bottom line is that volume is overpowering. If
you come off too strong, you're going to turn people off. What you
want to do is get optimal volume before you reach overpowering.
This is sometimes a fine line. And because speakers fear becoming
overpowering, they don't strive for optimal. But you have to strive
for optimal no matter what.
Then there's breathing. And so what you want to do is focus on
measured breathing. A measured pace of breathing so that you can
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worked well when he was an Air Force trainer. He had to loosen up
and put some vitality into his voice to work in the corporate world.
He practiced and was soon able to let his natural personality out,
thereby, garnering a top sales job. So, again, how you speak your
pace, your breathing, your tonality, and your volume are super,
super important.
You know, just as listening to music. If you hear a song that you
really like, but it's being played either too low, or someone sped it
up or slowed it down. It's not going to have the same effect as it
does if it was played at its natural speed at a volume that you're
really like. Same as if someone woke you up out of a dead sleep
blasting that song at top volume. Even though you like the song, the
way that the song is being played is going to have a negative effect
on you. And so this is exactly what I want you to keep in mind when
it comes to your voice.
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Because since the brain, excuse me, since the arms and the hands
specifically are an extension of what's going on in the brain, the
two of them have to be congruent with each other.
When there is incongruency, other people can detect this. Now, for
people that don't study body language and don't study
communication and gesturing, sometimes if you're communicating
with somebody, you just sense that they're lying. You just sense
that something is off. Well, what you're sensing is that whole wired
ability that is engulfed in each one of us, which tells us when
somebody is not being authentic, when there's a disconnect
between their body language and their verbal language. So, it's
ultra-important that you as a presenter, as a master influencer, as a
master speaker, understand how important your gestures are when
you're communicating. Because if you're not aware and cognizant
of what's going on, your audience could perceive you as being
dishonest, anxious, or nervous.
No one gestures all the time during a speech. And all people are
often uncertain where to place their hands. It's best to put your
hands in what I call the ready position, which is in front of you at
your waistline as if you are going to open a book. Your gestures will
flow most naturally from this position. Research has shown that
your audience won't even notice where you've placed your hands
throughout your speech if you use this position. If it gets
uncomfortable, you can use the secret handshake position where
you hold your thumb. It's useful to imagine that you have a shelf in
front of you. You can place your question to the audience on the
shelf or you can use both sides of the shelf to express opposites.
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language was to give the subject the context for taking charge of his
or her own beneficial change. The Milton Model is basically two
statements: what unspecified and how unspecified. The purpose of
being vague on purpose is to allow your subject, the broadest range
of creativity to fill in, to delete, to add, to distort, or to generalize
for themselves.
So, an example of deletion is to remove what is or isn't relevant to
the outcome. So, the presenter or the listener says, as you make
sense of this on your own timeline. To generalize, it is to learn and
to classify. Where you would say something like you're able to
discover new ways. And to distort is a way of saying, or a way of
creatively developing and shifting meanings where you say, I know
that you're becoming more interested.
Now, the metamodel is the complete opposite of the Milton Model.
So, instead of working on general and vague levels, we now work on
specific levels. So, the metamodel offers you a way to help others by
listening carefully to the wording that they're using. When people
communicate using deletions, generalizations, and distortions,
they're giving you clues to their inner programming. And you can
use these clues to ask the proper questions to determine their
limiting beliefs, or their opinions, or their desires, or really,
whatever else is going on in their mind. So, remember that the NLP
method chunks to more specific. It's basically two statements: what
specifically, and how specifically. And the idea is to build rapport
through the use of vague hypnotic words and conversation to
achieve a specific outcome.
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fears, or even what types of fears we're talking about. Instead, as
soon as the audience hears that statement, their mind drifts into
their own fears, and they can't help but agree with you, because it's
a general statement that almost everyone has experienced.
You can also use words that tap the subconscious. Words like
explore, discover, imagine, suppose pleasure, wonder, and curious
can have different meanings depending on their context. For
example, if you say to an audience, imagine how you would feel if
you were going on vacation for six weeks. Each person in the
audience will start feeling and thinking about different things and
assign their own meaning to the vague statement. Some people
would think about the beach. Some people would think about the
casino. Some people would think about the pool. Some people
would think about the restaurants. Some people would think about
theme parks. It really all depends on what their version or their
definition of a vacation is.
You can also use words that spark feelings. Meanings can be
sparked or activated unconsciously. So, for example, if you wanted
to give the feeling of quickness, you could use words like running,
racing, sprinting, or hurrying even though you're not really talking
about speed. If you wanted to express the attainment of lofty goals,
you could use flight words like soaring to new heights.
So, now let's talk about again, some more case studies, some good
and some bad, and a story that will explain the use of vague
language and can be seen as a symbolic representation of the
Milton Model. There was once a small boy who played a drum until
his parents and neighbors were driven mad. When his parents tried
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to take the drum away from him, he screamed so loudly that they
were afraid the neighbors would think they were killing him. They
had given him the drum as a gift, but they never thought it would
become an obsession. They consulted with some therapists to see
what could be done to reason with the child so that they can have
some peace and quiet.
The first therapist told the boy that if he continued to bang the
drum, he would destroy his hearing and blow his eardrums out. The
child was too young to understand this so it had no effect. The
second told him that the drum should only be used on certain
special days. This also had no effect. The third therapist gave the
parent earplugs and advised them to buy earplugs for the
neighbors. This helped for a limited time. The fourth therapist had
the child listen to meditation tapes to ease his staccato nature and
make him more placid. This worked for a while, but eventually, the
child went back to his old ways. Finally, the parents were told about
a new therapist who had performed miracles with other children.
When he arrived at their house, they were shocked that this
therapist was so young. In fact, he only looked about 10 years older
than their child.
However, their parents were desperate so they allowed him to
observe the child's behavior. The young therapist walked three
times around the child and observed his behavior closely. He went
out to his car and came back with a hammer and a chisel. He
squatted down next to the boy before speaking to him. Then he
handed him the hammer and the chisel and he said, “Do you ever
wonder what's inside the drum?”
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So, here's the conclusion. A hammer and a chisel are powerful and
so are words. You can use vague words such as wonder to help
others solve their own problems or guide them to do so. Milton
believed that everyone can crack open the drum of their inner
selves to solve their own problems. That wraps up this module. I'll
see you in the next one.
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One way to do this is to think of your voice as a musical instrument.
This has been very, very helpful for me. No matter how
uncomfortable you may be with the sound of your own voice, your
voice is perceived differently by the audience. You can vary it in
tone, pace, rhythm, depth, and richness. By doing this, you're
appealing to the way that the audience perceives you through the
sound of your voice. You know, I used to struggle with this. When I
first got into the business of teaching people influence, persuasion,
human communication, I used to get a lot of feedback from people
that I had too much of an East Coast Brooklyn accent, for lack of a
better term.
And so when I started creating video trainings, I used to-- By the
way, that feedback that I was getting was neither positive or
negative. It was just simply an objective observation, but I
internalized it as something negative. And so then what I would do
is I would try to create these videos and I would try to change the
sound of my voice to sound less abrasive and less East Coast like for
lack of a better term. And when I did that, nothing but bad things
happened. So, the first thing that happened was I started getting
feedback from people saying that they missed the way that I spoke
naturally. The second thing that happened is I was breaking my
own rules. I was breaking the actual laws that I was teaching
people, the laws that I was learning, right.
One of the most important laws that I learned, one of the most
important power levers, one of the most important principles that I
learned was to be authentic. And yet, when I was changing my
voice, I wasn't being authentic. And the audience senses that. And
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you sense that. Because when you're not being yourself, or when
you're trying too hard to be something that you're not, or when
you're deviating too much from who you are as a person, what
happens is, you start to feel this imbalance within and it shows
when you speak to people. And so I immediately turned around. I
completely turned everything around, and I embraced who I was.
And one of the most important lessons that I learned when it comes
to influential communication, when it comes to marketing, when it
comes to presenting yourself, when it comes to selling is that you
always want to present something different. You don't want to be
the same as everyone else.
So, if people out there are looking for the Ph.D. Professor type of
person, to teach them about influence and persuasion, I'm not their
guy. I'm the guy who basically has spent the past 20 years
researching what works in the real world. And how I deliver it is
how I deliver it. That's who I am as a person. And ultimately, most
people have come to appreciate it, so embrace who you are by
nature.
Now, learning and applying NLP techniques can help you in a
couple of different ways. Three of them specifically are your
persona. NLP techniques show you how to feel confident and
project authority no matter which group of people you're speaking
to. Purpose. NLP Techniques show you how to make the purpose of
your presentation as transparent to the audience as possible. And
NLP techniques show you how to use language to touch the minds
and more importantly, the hearts of your audience.
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confidence level. And so how you project yourself non verbally, how
you carry yourself, your body language, is going to determine how
people feel about you, and how they make judgments about you. But
here's what's more interesting. It also shapes our own feelings
about ourselves.
So, for example, Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy has shown that if
we practice power movements, that will eventually change our
perception of ourselves. So, stretch out, lift your arms, and own the
space that you're in. Our minds change our bodies, but our bodies
also change our minds. So, adopt power poses in private for a few
minutes each day, and it can change your level of confidence and
your life. If you haven't seen Amy's TED talk, I would highly
recommend that you check it out. It's got a couple of million views.
I'm a big fan of it. So, if you just go to YouTube, and type in Amy
Cuddy TED Talk.
What I found most interesting about her talk, and we're going to
actually talk about this in later modules is the power of novelty. The
power of presenting something new that the brain hasn't seen or
heard before, that's how you catch people's attention. That's how
you engage them. And that's how you keep them talking about what
you present it to them long after you've even made your
presentation. And Amy did that exceptionally well in her TED Talk.
Because for people that study human psychology, influence,
persuasion, human behavior, they understand the power of body
language, and the effect that it has on other people. Most people in
the world of influence and persuasion talk about that stuff. But
what most people do not talk about is the impact that it has on
ourselves.
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So, the mind and body are very interconnected. And as I just said,
our minds change our bodies, but our bodies can also change our
minds. And Amy was one of the first people to actually talk about
that, which made her presentation different than everyone else's.
So, she didn't change the psychological facts about body language,
right? Because you can't change those. Those are time tested and
proven to work for years and years and years so you can't change
that. But you can change the context of the conversation, which is
exactly what she did. You also don't want to accept failure.
Confident people truly believe that the failures in their lives can
point the way to significant improvement. They also believe that
failures are just temporary setbacks. They don't allow negative
self-talk to keep them from their dreams and goals. They assess a
situation and they figure out, they ask themselves, what can I do
next? How can I make this work? And they figure out a solution.
And this is something that is proven in my personal life to help me
time and time and time again.
Last night, I was out with a couple of friends, we went out to dinner.
And I have this one friend who's in the jewelry business. And
there's two aspects of his business. One involves a one on one
interaction with very high-level customers that come in and they
buy diamonds from him. They meet with him in his private office,
and they buy very expensive diamonds from him. The second part
of his business is his online business. And we went out to dinner
last night, and he said, “You know, my online business is down
90% from last year.” Now, this is a guy that I care about, I consider
him a close friend. We had picked them up from his brand new
house that he just purchased two years ago. His wife was outside
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with their two beautiful children. And so when you have a friend
that's that close to you, when you see their family and their house,
and you know that they got bills to pay. And they’re telling you that
their business is down 90%, me as a person, I want to try to help
him.
So, I started asking him questions to determine if maybe I could
figure out where something went wrong in his business. So, he
explained to me that in August of last year, he was up 90%,
compared to August of this year. And so I started asking him
questions like, was your traffic different? Was the amount of
visitors different? Was the product features, the product catalog
different? What was different? What did you change? And so once
we got through with those questions, we determined that the
majority of his traffic was coming from SEO traffic. So, SEO traffic
means that people organically find your website. So, they type in,
for example, diamond ring with a skull on it, and your website
comes up number one in the search rankings. Well, that changed
this year. And so Google changed its algorithm and he was no
longer number one in search engine optimization in Google
rankings.
So, I asked him about paid advertising. So, now we're switching the
context of the conversation. We're going from people finding you
organically to now you paying advertising dollars to get people to
your website. And his immediate answer to me was, “That never
works.” And I sat there shocked. And I said, “Really?” And he said it
with such passion and conviction that I knew immediately that he
had a very, very, very strong belief system that coincides with the
past. He's hooked on the past. He's hooked on last year. He's
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hooked on the way things used to be. And so at that point, I have to
ask myself a question. Do I want to continue this conversation and
now try to convince him to think otherwise? Or do I want to just let
it go? And so I could tell by the way that he said it, I made that the
determination at that point that I was just going to let the
conversation go because I don't want to be that guy who's giving
unsolicited advice and telling people how to run their business.
So, I kept my mouth shut, and I let it go. And he stayed silent for
about 15 seconds. And then he said to me, “Well, what would you
recommend?” So, now he opened up the line of communication
again. And so I started talking to him about why SEO by itself is not
a healthy way to run a business for the exact reason of why his
business is hurting now. Because if you place all your eggs in one
basket, and that basket is SEO, and Google changes its algorithm,
you instantly lose your business. Whereas if you utilize paid
advertising, and you know all your key metrics, and you know how
much you can pay to acquire a customer, now it's simple
mathematics, you know how much money you can spend to acquire
a customer and still make money. And he didn't want to hear any of
it.
And so the point of this example that I'm giving you is that he was
accepting failure. Like his business was down 90% from last year.
And he's accepting that by not asking the question of, what can I do
differently? Or how can I make paid advertising work? And so that's
a key differentiator between the way he thinks and the way I think.
And I'm not saying that the way I think is better than him or that
I'm smarter than him. But what I will say is that I think that the way
that I think serves me better than the way he thinks. I am a ‘how
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options you offer a person, the less likely they are to buy anything
because options confuse people.
And so I told him that, my suggestion would be instead of having
100 products on your website, to identify your top three to five
selling products, and make standalone dedicated pages, sales pages
that sell only that particular product. That way, you can increase
your conversions and acquire more customers. And then you can
remarket to those customers down the road and build your
business. But you can't build that business if you don't first acquire
the customers. And you're going to have a problem acquiring the
customers if you're sending traffic to a page with hundreds of
products on it because years of consumer psychology tells us that
the more options you offer, the less people are likely to buy. Well,
again, he refuted that. But then I have to start citing case studies
and examples.
And what I'm trying to tell you is that I've mastered this topic. And
it's not because I'm talented or I'm super intelligent or educated or
any of those things. It's just because I've put in the work. I've put in
20 years of studying consumer psychology, human psychology,
human behavior, how people are influenced, how they're
persuaded, what makes them say yes. And so if we're going to get
into a debate about that, you best believe that I can go all night and
I can give you proof of why what I'm saying to you is correct and
right. And so I would urge you to do the same exact thing. Become
an expert in your topic and in your field.
There are also certain key strategies that you can employ to become
more charismatic and once you practice these strategies, they
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You also want to use three part lists. Now, this technique is based
on the fact that people tend to remember things that are presented
to them in this way. Three part lists can be announced or they can
fly under the radar, but will still be picked up subliminally by your
audience. So, a few famous examples are “Government of the
people, by the people, and for the people.” “This is not the end. It's
not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the
beginning.” Veni, vidi, vici. “I came, I saw, I conquered.”
You want to express moral convictions, don't be afraid to do this
when appropriate. So, who wouldn't be stirred by Patrick Henry's
give me liberty or give me death, or FDR’s he only thing we have to
fear is fear itself. If you're passionate, if you're educated, if you
believe in it, express moral conviction.
Now, you want to meet people where they are, but then bring them
up to the next level. So, to do that, you first have to acknowledge
their thoughts and feelings, but then bridge the gap to a higher
level of inspiration and positive action. So, you want to reflect on
your audience's sentiments, then pause and then move forward. So,
for example, after a disappointing sales quarter, the manager of a
sales team wanted her people to regroup. Here's what she said, “We
all feel disappointed and unmotivated. There have been sleepless
nights and tensions within the team. We feel that success has
slipped from our hands. However, this is a temporary setback. And
before we leave this room, we're going to construct a plan with
everyone's best ideas for getting back on track.”
So, she starts where they are now, empathizes with them, connects
with them, lets them know that she understands where they're
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So, you can prime people's mindsets by introducing words or
images that have universal associations. For example, in an
experiment, people were introduced to words that related to the
elderly. And when they got up to leave, they walked more slowly
than usual. In another experiment, people were exposed to two
logos, Apple's, and IBM's. Apple is associated with creativity. The
group that saw Apple's logo first found more creative uses for a
brick than the group that was primed with IBM's logo.
All judgments that people make are based on comparisons. If you
can influence those comparisons in your speech presentations,
then you can influence their compliance on the request or actions
you want them to take. So, for example, let's say your goal is to get
people to sign up for your course, after your speaking presentation.
Offer them two or three options. Option A is a one-hour
consultation for $150. Option B, the course in its entirety $295. Or
Option C, the one-hour consultation plus the course for 295. Now,
presenting the options in this way will increase your chances of
having more people select option C since when option B and option
C are compared, option C is the obvious choice.
The way that you describe a person, an event, or an item makes a
major difference in how your audience will perceive the same. So,
for example, if you describe a person as cold, aloof, and
self-serving, before introducing them to someone, the person
you're introducing will react in a certain way toward the person
you're introducing them to because it's how their expectation has
been set. However, you might choose to describe that same person
as warm, friendly, and fun. The person then being introduced will
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You know, I have bad posture, I know that. I have something that's
called internal rotation, which means that my shoulders rotate
forward causing my posture to be broken down. Now, because my
posture is this way, that's the way that I feel more comfortable
sitting and standing. But I know through all the research and all the
studies that I've basically spent the past 20 years of my life
determining that people will perceive me as less confident and less
intelligent if I walk around slouched. Conversely, I will feel less
confident about myself if I hold that position.
And so I usually catch myself doing it in the morning when I'm
walking my dog. So, I usually wake up at 06:30 in the morning, and
the first thing I do is I walk my dog. And as I'm walking him, I will
find myself in this kind of hunched over slouched position, and I
immediately stop it and I roll my shoulders back, and I straighten
up my back, and I change my posture. Because in the morning, I
actually do a couple of different things. So, the first thing I do when
I walk my dog is I say a morning prayer where I'm just basically
thanking God for everything that I've been given. I don't really ask
for anything, I just give thanks.
And I have some affirmations that I run through my mind that it's
going to be a good day, that I'm smart, that I'm intelligent, that my
business is thriving, that opportunities, luck, and resources attract
themselves to me, things like that. And so it's important when you
state affirmations to yourself, not to turn this into a
self-improvement program or go off on a law of attraction tangent.
But when you're stating these affirmations to yourself, you have to
actually believe and feel that they are real and that it's going to
happen. And so I know that I have to change my physical state,
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from a weak one to a strong one. That's a very important part of my
day. If I'm doing all this work to make sure my day starts correctly,
right, I'm saying the right things to myself, I'm waking up early,
I'm exercising, I'm eating the right foods. I also have to get my
body into a strong positive state. Otherwise, it's going to counteract
everything else that I'm doing. And so body language is one of the
most effective ways to do that.
I also want to give you a couple of strategies to form consistency in
behavior. If it's your goal to get people to form or adopt a particular
attitude, you should guide them to display behavior that matches
with that attitude. So, for example, if people who were asked to put
a small sign in their yard that said be a safe driver were more likely
to say yes when they were requested to display a much larger sign
with a similar message. This technique, which is essentially getting
a foot in the door was popularized by Robert Cialdini, the guy who
wrote the book I nfluence who over the past 30 years has taught us
how people are influenced and persuaded. Consistency is a very
powerful thing.
Micro commitments play into this. If you can get people to make
smaller commitments that really don't involve much, you're kind
of building them up to make larger commitments where more
things are at stake. And we use this in marketing. If you've been on
my email list for any number of years or any amount of time, it's
very likely that you came onto the email list because I offered you
something of value for free. Well, after you commit to giving your
email address, I will then make you a small low dollar offer for
something else that's very valuable, but for a very cheap price,
usually seven to 10 bucks. And then from there, if you say yes to
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statistically that person was more than - 50% more likely to return
the survey. What's interesting is that when the surveys were
completed, not one single person who sent back the survey cited the
similarity in the name as the reason why they sent it back. Right?
So, this all happens on a subconscious level. People are not
consciously sitting there and analyzing you and saying, “Wow, this
person seems very similar to me. So, let me agree with what he or
she is saying.” It's not happening on that level. It's happening on a
deep, subconscious level. But statistics and studies have shown us
that people are more likely to comply with people that they feel
similar to. Or that they feel like they have a lot in common with. So,
you want to try to identify those things and express them while you
speak.
You want to use numerous exposures and de-emphasize negative
messages. Repetitions are very powerful, because they increase a
cognitive response called cognitive fluency. In other words, if
something or someone or an image is repeated, often even if it's
flashed before us, and we're not consciously picking it up, it
becomes more familiar to us. And that familiarity means we can
process it more quickly. The speed at which we process information
also increases whether we like the information or not. If we can
process something quickly due to repeated exposure, we tend to
like it more. So, to de-emphasize the negative aspects of a message
that you know your audience will find objectionable, you can
desensitize it by habituating it.
This technique is most effective if one, you can introduce the
changes in very tiny gradual increments so that they're not overtly
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noticed. And secondly, that your audience can't make a side by side
comparison. Thirdly, that the audience isn't expecting changes to
occur. And fourth, that you combine whatever's unfavorable or
unpleasant with something that is favorable or pleasant.
There are two ways that an individual makes a judgment about a
particular issue. They use a type of systematic processing for
decisions that are important and a type of heuristic processing for a
decision that's not as critical. With systematic processing, the
individual will be influenced by the quality of the content. He or she
will evaluate the content step by step. On the other hand, heuristic
processing is a quick judgment that is often swayed by a massive
amount of information that shows support, the way the message is
presented, or the aesthetics of the message. The rapport with the
presenter in terms of his or her attractiveness, confidence, and
expertise.
So, I usually tell people that there are two ways. The other way that
I explained this is the way that we process information. There's the
central way of processing information and the peripheral. So, there
are two different routes that we take; the central route and the
peripheral route. So, during the central route, we're talking about
systematic processing. This is when the person is scrutinizing
everything that you're putting before them and making a logical
decision based on the quality of the content itself. During the
peripheral route, they're not doing that. They're instead using
these heuristics. They're using these mental shortcuts, which is a
way of filtering lots of information. So, instead, they utilize these
mental shortcuts and they look for support. They look for things in
the way that the message is being presented. And they also look for
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the rapport that they have with the person presenting the message
to make a decision about the content itself.
So, to ensure that someone is going to judge your message
regarding systematic processing, provide them with some caffeine.
Enhance the aesthetics of the message with your graphics or other
visually appealing presentation. State your request in an unusual
way. Enhance the personal relevance aspect of your message. In
other words, why is your message of particular importance to that
specific audience? You can enhance personal relevance of the
message. By using you frequently throughout your message. You
can tell a story to engage your audience in a more personal way that
will touch their emotions. You can also use rhetorical questions that
will guide them into asking themselves deeper questions.
So, if you instead want your subject to judge your message using
heuristic processing, so now you want them to take the peripheral
route, there are also things that you can do to increase that
likelihood. Surprisingly, if you increase the complexity of your
message by using difficult to read font. Or something else that
makes it more complicated for the subject to process, they will
equate it with the uniqueness of your offer and also consider your
offer more valuable. If you want your subject to make a quicker
decision, you can do something to put your subject in a good mood.
When we're in a good mood, we tend to be more optimistic about
decision making.
Next, you want to refine your message. So, you'll encounter
situations where you won't be able to change someone's evaluation
style, right? In the world of human communication, there are
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that part out on your own, just as if you were back on that deserted
island. And because of that, most of what you probably think in
terms of communicating effectively doesn't. And so what I just
shared with you is an excerpt from what I call an Indoctrination
Email. So, an indoctrination email is an email that someone gets
when they first subscribe to my email list. And it basically
indoctrinates them into the world of Paul Mascetta influence
persuasion, hypnotic language, body language negotiation, NLP,
etc. And so what I'm doing when I give that analogy, is I'm
explaining the importance of getting an education when it comes to
influence and persuasion. Sure, I could sit there and I can cite off
case studies, and talk about all sorts of logical reasons why you
should do it. But instead, I just give an analogy. And then the
analogy is that when it comes to the game of life, we're given
everything that we need. We're given all the tools that we need,
with the exception of the ability of getting people to buy into the
fact that we actually have those skills.
So, another example that I give us, you can be the greatest lawyer
on the block. You could know everything there is to know about case
law. You could graduate from Harvard Law School. But if you can't
effectively communicate that to a judge, a jury, or at least your
clients, you will likely fail to the lesser educated lawyer who can
communicate effectively. And so these three things that I'm going
to share with you here, storytelling metaphors, and analogies are
the three most effective ways that you can do that. So, your
presentations are going to be far more effective in capturing
people's emotions if you use storytelling metaphors and analogies
to wrap up your messages.
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Now, the very first thing that you need to do is capture attention,
right? You have to capture your audience's attention and their focus
within the first 30 seconds of your presentation. You know, rule
number one in any kind of communication is to capture attention.
Because without attention, there is no communication. You're
talking to yourself. So, again, the example that I just gave you, I
could have sat there and gave you all sorts of logical reasons why
you should educate yourself when it comes to influence and
persuasion. But instead, I used an analogy.
Well, another thing you can use is a story. Now, stories are
oftentimes the easiest and most effective form of communication.
The reason why is the human mind is hard-wired for story. We've
been hearing stories since the dawn of time. 200,000 years ago,
men were catching prey with their bare hands. This was
time-consuming and required a lot of energy, not to mention the
threat of injury or death. So, one day, some guy figures out that he
could set a trap and catch an animal instead of chasing it with a
spear. He creates a booby trap and goes to sleep. He wakes up the
next morning and finds a little rabbit in the trap. Rabbit stew it is.
What does he do next? He goes to his tribe, and he tells them the
story. I was out hunting, I saw a spider web with a bunch of bugs
trapped in it. So, I thought to myself, if spiders can use traps so can
humans. I got to thinking. I found a rock. I held it up with two
sticks. I put a piece of fruit under it and tied it to the stick. The plan
was simple. The animal takes the fruit, the rock falls on it. It worked
like a charm. And when I woke up, I found this rabbit. Best part, I
caught it while I was asleep. The trap did all the work.
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You see what he did? He told a story. And so did I once again. Stories
are the oldest form of teaching. And that's why the Hollywood
industry generates billions of dollars each year. It's because we
cannot resist a good story. So, anytime you can take your message
and wrap it up in a story, what you've done is you've created a
method where people will remember what you're saying, they'll
engage in what you're saying, and they won't resist in your
persuasive speech. So, don't bore your audience with introductory
comments. Instead, engage their hearts, minds, and emotions with
a story. Work the other information into the rest of your
presentation in small bites.
Since the earliest days of mankind, as I just mentioned, our brains
have used stories to remember and learn. We're hardwired to listen
to remember, and react emotionally to stories. A well designed and
masterfully presented story takes your listeners on an imaginary
journey where you want to take them. This gives you, the speaker,
the golden opportunity to convey a message or teach a lesson
without preaching. Now, conflict is what drives a story. So, don't be
afraid to share stories that are personal to you. Your audience is
going to be captivated when you offer them a story that has a
dramatic conflict. The more dynamic the conflict is, the more
engaged your audience will be. To evaluate whether your story is
working to achieve your goals, judge its elements to determine
whether it touches on the primary emotions. Get your audience
curious. Tell the story in a way that makes your audience curious as
to what happens next. If your story has strong conflict, the
audience will be moving ahead mentally to determine what the
outcome will be.
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Now again, the two analogies that I just gave you, secondly with the
caveman, and the first one about how we, as a human race were
robbed of the education of effective communication are really all
part of this big storytelling email sequence that I use, where I tell
multiple stories to demonstrate points. And usually, at the end of
each email, I will ask a question, or I will create something called an
open loop. So, an open loop is basically a cliffhanger. It's when you
create something but then you don't fulfill on it. You don't provide
the answer. So, what I will do is at the end of each of these emails,
I'll create a cliffhanger, which causes the person to want to open up
the next email. So, I'm utilizing the curiosity in that aspect with the
stories.
You also want to use sensory details. So, again, if we go back to that
caveman example I just gave you, I talked a lot about how the fish
tasted, and what it looked like, what the preparation of the fish look
like. So, be specific so that your audience can experience the
different sensory experiences and imagine the characters. These
types of details keep your story alive to the audience. Visual,
auditory smell, taste, and touch, that's what you want to think
about. What do you want them to see, hear, smell, taste, and touch?
How do these experiences make them feel either emotionally or
physically?
Clarity and consciousness are important. So, even if you will be
providing a big description, work to make your descriptions concise
and on point. You want to be specific, and consistent. For example,
saying that he was taller than everyone else in class is not as
effective as saying he was 18 inches taller than everyone else.
Specificity leads and really reinforces credibility. You want to
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don't have any interest in public speaking. So, if you don't have any
interest in public speaking, then you can skip this part of the
program.
But if you do, then I would urge you, especially if you've never done
public speaking before, that you want to start out with small gigs
that don't require a ton of work, or a ton of time, or a ton of effort
to be put into the actual speech. And you should be prepared,
especially if you've never done this before to speak at public events
at least 10 times before you ever get paid a single dollar to do so. So,
essentially, what I'm saying is that you need to start out speaking
for free. Because what you want to do is you want to create a
reputation that precedes itself. That you deliver real value at your
speaking events. And in the beginning, the fact of the matter is that
you're kind of on a value ladder, right? And so the people that
provide the most value that are at the top of the ladder are the
people that get paid lots of money.
People like Anthony Robbins, people like Gary Vaynerchuk. These
are the people that get five to six figures to deliver a half-hour
speech, right? Because they've proven that they and they've - and
they've demonstrated that they provide tremendous value. So,
they're at the top of the value ladder. When you're just starting out,
you're at the bottom of the value ladder. And the only way to get up
the value ladder is to demonstrate and prove that you deliver
exceptional value in your speeches. The problem is, you're never
going to get the opportunity to do that if you're trying to charge
from the very beginning. So, you have to be prepared to again,
speak at least at a very minimum. I'm talking about bare-bones
minimum 10 times for free. And then if you're really exceptional at
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what you do, and you start to create a reputation for yourself, then
maybe you can start charging. But in the beginning, you gotta be
ready to demonstrate your value for free, so that you can climb up
that value ladder.
The next spot or the next couple of places that you want to look at
are educational institutions and schools. So, there are colleges,
universities, state schools, technical schools, and high schools
all-around your local area. Students in all fields and at all levels
need inspirational messages. So, these are very good places to start.
You also want to go from university to community. At universities
and colleges, you can contact a professor or department head to
offer a forum or presentation on a subject that's relevant to you and
to the educator’s special interest groups. Invite the larger
community as well so that you can make valuable contacts for other
talks. If you're interested in speaking at colleges, the National
Association for Campus Activities and the Association for the
Promotion of Campus Activities are both organizations that offer
opportunities for speaking. Speakers that get hired have a very
heavy emphasis on wrapping their educational messages in an
entertaining package.
You also want to go to local associations, clubs, and special interest
groups. Every city has organizations and clubs such as Kiwanis,
Lions Club, the Chamber of Commerce, and Rotary that meet
regularly and need speakers. If your topic is appropriate to these
groups, contact the programming chair to offer a presentation.
Don't hesitate to tap your friends, neighbors, and colleagues to
approach them about connecting you with these local
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TEDx and TED. If you don't know, I'm a very big fan of TED Talks. If
you don't know what they are just Google TED Talks. You'll be taken
to their YouTube channel. And what I love most about them is that
these are some of the most highly viewed speeches that range from
anything. They could range from world hunger, to weather
conditions, to self-improvement, to body language, to music. And
so what they do, these TED Talks, they feature experts in any given
field. They're only limited to 18 minutes of talk time, which is great
because you're never put in a situation where someone's droning
on and on and on more than 18 minutes. What's also great about the
18-minute factor is that it forces the speaker to condense their
absolute most vital best information in that specific speech. So,
obviously, if you can get into this arena or into this area, your
message is going to be received by a lot of people.
So, if you don't know exactly what TED is, it began in 1984, for
short speeches on technology, entertainment, and design. But as I
said, today, it covers everything from new frontier science topics,
to trending business, and pressing global issues. TED is a national
as well as a global stage. In 2009, the TED franchise launched a
regional version of their national program called TEDx. So, if you're
just starting as a speaker, it makes sense to begin regionally, and
then become established before pitching to the national event. To
get booked, at a TEDx conference, first research future TEDx
events, then research the process of application. Some events have
open call, some don't. Number three, dovetail into the event’s
theme. Next, make sure you're easy to find. You can make contact
through a connection or through a proposal. But another way to be
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very active is in social media in your field so that you can be found.
Five, focus on the value that you can give to others.
So, when we talk about social media, I mean, social media can be
such a powerful tool, if you use it correctly. For me, YouTube has
always been my favorite channel, if you will, or my favorite segue
into social media. I'm very comfortable on video. I like YouTube. I
like the way that their algorithm works. I like the way that their
marketing works. And most of all, like I said, I'm just comfortable
getting in front of a camera. I think at this point, I have close to
12,000 YouTube subscribers. I can't tell you how many
opportunities have come my way because of my YouTube channel.
People come across my videos, certain videos that I have, I've
gotten close to 100,000 views. And then what happens is those
videos become suggested videos, to videos with similar topics.
So, for example, if I shoot a video on how to use hypnotic language
to reduce resistance, and that video starts to get a lot of views, it'll
be chained together with similar videos that also have a lot of use.
So, now I'm able to open up and gain exposure to an audience that I
would not have necessarily gotten exposure to before. I've gotten
LinkedIn invitations. I've gotten speaking gigs. I've gotten
invitations to come and deliver speeches at people's places of
employment, essentially to train their teams. So, the more of
yourself that you put out there in social media, it doesn't have to be
YouTube. It can be Facebook. I'm just using YouTube as an example
because in the context of this conversation, we're talking about
speaking. But the more you put yourself out there again, the more
value you provide, the more likely you are to get speaking gigs
without really even trying.
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Next, we have conferences, trade associations, trade shows, and
other special events. There are over 17,000 state, regional, and
national trade associations in the US alone. They all have speaking
opportunities. Columbia books offers useful directories in both
print and online form for tracking down these leads. Three such
directories are The National and Professional Trade Association
Directory, and The Directory of Association Meeting Planners, and
Directory of Corporate Meeting Planners. There are a number of
online conference directories where you can customize a profile
and potential events will be sent to your email for review. You can
check out A
llConferences.com and C
onferize.com.
Another valuable resource is EventsinAmerica.com for finding
potential trade shows, and conferences for your presentation.
Meeting planner magazines also offer information that can be
mined for contacts, and events. I'll give you a perfect example of
this. I have a number of different businesses. But this business is a
digital publishing business where we teach people, strategies, and
techniques that improve their communication skills specifically
designed around influence and persuasion. Well, there are two sides
to my business. There's the teaching aspect of the business. And
then there's the marketing aspect of the business. So, the teaching
aspect of the business is what I'm doing right now. The training,
the tips, techniques, strategies, the delivery of the training
information. The marketing aspect of the business is everything
that leads up to this point. It's everything that leads a prospect
down the path of becoming a customer.
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very seldomly, did I ever come across someone that was actually
great at both. Someone that could train and motivate salespeople to
perform at their peak level, but also wasn't afraid to get down and
dirty into the trenches and close someone if they needed to. So, if
you can become that person, you basically magnify your value by
100 because you now become one of the rarest types of people in the
sales world.
So, what you want to start with is pre-training. You want to align
the sales training methods that you will use to the corporation's
strategies, mission, and goals, right? You don't want to be teaching
people or utilizing methods that directly contradict what the
company stands for. Because then you're going to run into a
problem. Second thing is you want to have the right mindset. Sales
training shouldn't be just a once a year event. If you plan
strategically, you can keep your team striving for improvement
throughout the year. Three, you want to evaluate where your buyers
or clients are. Has there been a shift in their perspective throughout
the year? Ask yourself that important question again. What value do
we bring to our customers?
The time that sales reps spend in a room listening to your
presentation is valuable time that they are taking out of the field.
So, you want to make the presentation and the training that you
present relevant and actionable. And by all means, make it
inspiring, they need to have the motivation in order to go out and
sell. The challenge is to unlock the expert knowledge from subject
matter experts in your organization. Or in other organizations and
package it in a clear concise manner so that reps can become
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before. Most of the sales managers that were coming in were just
former salespeople. They knew how to sell themselves, but they
didn't know how to motivate other people to sell.
Fortunately, for me, I never really needed anybody to motivate me
to sell because I would just look at my rent, know that my rent bill
was due every month. And that was motivation enough for me to
make sure that I was selling. And so when I would see these
managers come and go, I would almost sit and laugh and wonder,
oh, how long is this guy going to last? I'll give him a month. I'll give
him a week. And let me tell you, one of the biggest key indicators
that a sales manager would not last long, is inconsistency. So, once
I saw that a manager was becoming inconsistent in his behavior, or
in his words, I knew for a fact that they wouldn't last long.
So, for instance, the new sales manager comes in, they give you the
rah-rah speech, they talk about how they're going to implement
new techniques and strategies. How they're going to meet with us
every single morning to make sure that we're on track. How we're
going to have a special kind of meeting every week, and then
another kind of meeting every month. And then slowly, but surely,
none of those things start to happen. Right? The meeting that
you're supposed to have at 09:30 in the morning doesn't happen
because the sales manager is tied up doing something else. Or the
monthly meeting that was supposed to happen doesn't happen
because they went on vacation. And so what starts to happen is
inconsistency slowly creeps its way in. And then the salespeople
begin to lose respect for the manager, because they see that the
manager is not someone with integrity.
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And I'm not saying that the manager is a liar. But they're not being
consistent in their actions or in what they say they're going to do.
So, it's essentially an extremely important that you be consistent in
everything that you say you're going to do. You want to have a
standard agenda. Peer pressure works. It's been psychologically
proven. Make sure the reps report on what they sold during the
week. Also, have them discuss their processes throughout the week
in terms of customer interactions. What went well, what didn't.
Next on the agenda is what's in the pipeline. Is there enough in the
sales funnel, to make or exceed the quota. Make a note of lessons
learned and inspirational stories. If there's time left, train on new
selling skills.
But when we talk about peer pressure, what we're really talking
about is the power of commitment and the power of public
commitment. So, people, again, circling back to the laws of
influence, commitment, and consistency. People do not like to fall
short on their commitments, right? That's something that's
frowned upon in the general world. People that commit to doing
something and then back out of it are not highly respected people.
And so because most people understand that, once you get a person
to make a commitment, they're generally going to want to follow
through on that commitment.
Now, when they make that commitment publicly, in front of other
people, they're 10 times more likely to want to follow through on
that commitment. And so when I talk about the concept of peer
pressure, really, what I'm talking about, is having all of your
salespeople together in one place, each making public
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probably heard me talk about the GRIPS Method. And so what the
grips method is, is simply a five-step process for effectively
influencing people. So, the G stands for gather intelligence, the R
stands for reduce resistance, the I stands for initiate control, the P
stands for Position yourself, and then the S stands for sustain your
position.
Well, the very first part of that process is to gather intelligence. And
so when I talk about gathering intelligence, it's exactly what I'm
talking about here before the presentation. It is trying to learn
about the people that you're going to be making your presentation
to, especially with decision-makers. And then if possible, getting to
know them on a personal level before you make the presentation.
Why? Because statistically speaking, that person, well, every single
person that you're presenting to, is going to make a rapid
subconscious decision and a judgement about you within the first
four to seven seconds of meeting you. So, if you don't meet any of
them beforehand and you just come on stage, they're going to make
those decisions about you. And unfortunately, when you're on
stage, because it's a one-sided communication situation where
you're really the only one doing the talking in the beginning, you
don't really have an opportunity to ask questions. And then based
on the answers to those questions, create the best possible scenario
for them forming a good judgment about you in their mind.
So, let me explain what I mean by that. Scenario number one, when
you don't meet anybody before the presentation is you get on stage,
or you get in the middle of the room, and you start presenting to a
group of people. And every single person in that group makes that
rapid subconscious decision about you. Within seven seconds, they
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cross-reference you with everyone else that they've ever met in
their life. And then they try to file you into a draw that matches
somebody that they've met before. And they make a decision about
you. Because if they're comparing you to somebody that they had a
good experience with, then they're going to generally look at you as
a good person. If, however, they make a connection between you
and somebody that they've had an unpleasant experience with in
the past, they're going to make a bad judgment about you. And
because you're up there speaking, and it's not an interactive
conversation as of yet. You're kind of just left out there to the
wolves. They're just making these judgments about you.
If however, you go to scenario number two, where you meet up with
the people ahead of time, maybe a half-hour, an hour before you
make the presentation, so that when they make that subconscious
decision about you because it's going to happen no matter what,
right? It's going to happen, whether you meet them before or
whether you're giving the presentation live. In both cases, they're
going to make these decisions about you. But the differences in
scenario number two, you have the opportunity to make it an
interactive conversation. So, in scenario number two, let's say you
meet two or three people that are going to be part of the group. And
they're making their rapid subconscious decisions about you.
You can also start an interactive conversation with them by asking
them how long they've been with the company, where they live,
what their commute is like, what made them come to the company,
if they have a wife, if they have children. And you can then start
utilizing the answers to these questions to create rapport with
them. And then what happens is, if you create a strong enough
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rapport with them, the subconscious decision that they made about
you earlier, if it was a bad one, the rapport will start to override
that. And what they'll begin to say to themselves is, maybe this guy
isn't so bad, after all. So, it's essential that you try to meet people in
the group that you're presenting to ahead of time so that you can
establish rapport with them, especially the decision-makers.
During the presentation, make sure that you refer to the problems
and issues of the group and show how what you're offering is going
to solve their problems or fulfill their needs. And as you describe
the benefits of your products and services, make sure you use the
VAK model as much as possible: visual, auditory, and kinesthetic.
You want to appeal to everyone in the audience, and most
importantly, engage their emotions. So, circling back to the world
of NLP, the VAK model tells us that generally speaking, people
make sense of the world in three different ways. They either use
their eyes or what they see, those are visual people. There are
people that make sense of the world using their ears or based on the
way they hear things. And then there are people that make
decisions based on the way things feel to them.
Now while it's true that we all use a combination of these things at
times, the reality is that most of us have a default leading one that
we use most of the time. And so you want to be able to appeal to all
three, as people in the group are going to be utilizing one more than
the other. After the presentation, if possible, get the group
participants to provide you with feedback. Engage them in
conversation and pay careful attention to their responses. Active
listening is just as important as speaking.
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like this. You first identify questions that you think are going to be
asked. Then you categorize the questions into top categories such
as competition or industry. Then you divide the categories among
your Annual General Meeting team. Then you create broad answers
for every category of questions. And then, during the meeting when
questions are being asked, you listen for trigger words that align
with a category. Then you look the questioner in the eye, and you
answer the question confidently.
So, what this does is, it's just really a super effective way to prepare
to answer questions. Because the reality is, if you can't answer a
question effectively and efficiently and with confidence, people lose
respect for you. This is a rock-solid, airtight way to make sure that
you're prepared to answer any and all types of questions.
One-on-one sales. So, everything we do in life has an element of
sales to it, all right. You need to sell yourself, your products, and
your services. You need to sell your teenager on why it's important
to call in if he's late. You need to sell your spouse on the idea that
it's time to take a vacation. You need to sell your ideas and your
causes to get buy-in from others. So, one thing that we want to
remember is that people make emotional decisions. So, many
people think that selling the features and benefits of a product or
service is what's going to convince someone to buy. But the reality
is that people make decisions for emotional reasons that are largely
subliminal. Speaking and selling is about appealing to emotions, in
direct and indirect ways.
So, the two most important words in sales, according to Jeffrey
Gitomer's Little Red Book of Selling. The first of them is you. Have
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you ever tried to buy a car but couldn't stand the salesperson who
was trying to sell it to you? You may have driven a considerable
distance until you found a salesperson that you could talk to before
you brought up the very same car that you were looking at when
you're at the previous dealership. People want to like the people
they buy from. As a salesperson, that means you need to establish
rapport first. Sell yourself first with your speaking skills and
demeanor.
You need to get at the why. The second most important word is
why. It's going to take a skill set to get at the real reason why
someone is looking or not looking to buy something. People don't
buy for your reasons. They buy for their reasons. However,
sometimes those reasons aren't obvious. And sometimes people
will go to huge extremes to cover up the real reason because they
may be embarrassed about it. So, you need to ask three to four
probing questions before you get at the real reason why.
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the scenario. So, the two people in the party will begin to identify
with the two people in the scenario or the analogy that you give
them.
How about negotiating to get a higher salary for a startup job? It's
getting more and more difficult not to reveal your salary before
someone makes you a job offer. However, it's an essential part of
the deal in ensuring that you get the salary that you want. So, first
things first, let the potential employer make the first offer when
you're at the end of the job interviewing process until that point,
salary should not be discussed. Use what I call the four-second stall.
When the employer makes the offer, repeat the number, and then
stay silent for a few seconds. This will put some pressure on the
employer to revise the offer. Just make sure you have a thoughtful
pensive look on your face instead of an annoyed look.
Make a counteroffer. If the employer doesn't come back with an
offer that's workable for you then make a counteroffer. But be sure
it's based on the homework that you've already done about the
market, the company, and what you bring to the table. Once the
employer has said yes to your counteroffer, negotiate for additional
benefits, such as extra vacation, or a company car.
Now, this was a big problem that I used to have with negotiating. I
like to think of myself as a very fair person. And so I don't like to
make statements that make me appear as an unfair person. But one
of the key rules in negotiating and any smart negotiator knows this
is that you have to give yourself some breathing room when you
negotiate. So, you have to absolutely start with a number that is
either higher or lower than you're willing to pay or willing to be
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paid. So, that you can sooner or later reveal the real number. So, if
your bottom line number, let's say for selling something is $100.
You have to start at 150, 175, 200, depending on the context,
depending on what you're selling, but you do have to start at a
higher point. And because I never really wanted to insult anybody,
and I wanted to, you know, feel like I was giving the best possible
offer and being fair, I would give my best possible offer right out of
the gate. And I would never leave myself any breathing room.
And so when you deal with a person that is a good negotiator that
understands the concept of breathing room, which I often did,
because they gave themselves breathing room, and I didn't. That's
the reason why most of the time, I would walk away from the
negotiation with the short end of the stick. So, you have to utilize
breathing room. And within that breathing room is where you make
your counteroffer. And I want you to realize that if you're dealing
with a smart negotiator, such as an employer, the employer has
probably created breathing room for themselves. So, that first offer
that they made you, they've probably created some breathing room
and are prepared to accept a reasonable counter offer, if you make
it.
Timing is everything when negotiating a raise after working at a
company for a while. Have you closed a valuable contract for your
company recently? Have you saved your company money? Have you
received a great yearly evaluation? These are the times when you
should put your speaking skills to use and ask your boss for a raise.
Remember, the recency factor, that people often remember things
that happen to them recently. And so if you do something valuable
for the company today, but then ask for a raise in 90 days, the value
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that you added to the table, unfortunately, lost most of its potency
by the time you ask for the raise. So, maybe even if your good deed
or value proposition took place at a time when you weren't due for a
raise, you should still bring it up at that point and have it
documented so that you can revisit it when it is time to evaluate for
a raise.
But I remember reading a case study many, many years ago that has
to do with influence and persuasion. And I forgot what the exact
case study was. But what the case study showed was that when
people do favors for each other an amazing thing happens. So, if
one person does somebody a favor in exchange for another favor,
and they don't get the favor back from that person. So, you have
Person A who does a favor for Person B and then Person B is
supposed to do a favor back for Person A. So, let's say it's lending
money. This is a classic example. So, I lend money to my good
friend John. And my good friend John has to pay me back the
money, but he doesn't pay me back the money.
An amazing thing is said to happen psychologically between these
two people as time goes on. So, as time goes on, the favor actually
becomes more important to the person who did the favor, and less
important to the person who received the favor. And this is very
similar to what happens when you are negotiating to get more
salary. If you close a valuable contract, if you save the company
money, if you get a really good evaluation, if you do something
amazing, but you don't strike while the iron is hot and ask for the
higher raise at that point. What's gonna happen is as time goes on,
it's gonna become more important to you, but less important to the
person who's in the position to actually give you that raise.
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You also got to know your value. So, review online sources like
PayScale and Glassdoor to get a sense of your worth to the company
at the level you are today. If you've been in an organization for a
while, they may not realize the professional growth you've attained
while you've been there. You have to speak up and toot your own
horn a little bit in a nice way to let people know your
accomplishments. Praising others in an authentic way shines on
you as well. You also want to use speaking opportunities to network
within and outside your company. Keep in touch with potential
mentors, who can help you as you gain influence and salary.
Negotiating to buy a house. Most of us have been there or probably
will be there at some point in our lives. I know I have. And
sometimes speaking up can mean the difference between whether
you're able to get the house of your dreams or not. An older couple
was looking to sell their family home. The home had over 30 years
of memories in it. They had started there as a young couple and
raised their children there. The husband was ill and his wife was
caring for him. It was an emotional and difficult decision for them
to leave their home, which they loved. Their home was in a hot
market, and they knew they would sell quickly. Instead of making
them feel good, this was actually making the decision harder. The
home was already paid for and they were interested in getting a
good price. But it wasn't the only factor in terms of selling their
home.
Within a week they had five offers on the home. In talking with
their real estate agent, they've discovered that most of the people
who wanted to buy their home were actually planning to remodel it
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than across the table from each other. Work to find out the
motivation as to why your child wants or feels they need
something. Getting something sometimes means giving something
else up.
So, let's say your preteen wants to play for a soccer team that
travels. That's going to tap your wallet and your time and you don't
feel that they need another activity on their already full list. So,
instead of saying a firm no, ask them why it's important and get a
feeling for their commitment. Then find out what on their list
they're willing to sacrifice. Even if they're not happy with the final
result that they had to give up something to get what they wanted,
end with a hug or a smile so that you reinforce your emotional
connection.
Be willing to put the smelly fish on the table. Every good negotiator
establishes authority while maintaining good relationships with
their opponents. A business negotiator once said, “Collaboration is
as they say, in Denmark, the willingness to put smelly fish on the
table.” Your 10-year-old wants the same privileges as your
15-year-old. Instead of offering her a watered-down swap, which
isn't what she wants you to say. Instead, you should just say your
sister didn't get that privilege until she was 14 and neither will you.
Just make sure to keep those privileges and when you reward them
straight because the kids will remember. That wraps up this
module. I'll see you in the next one.
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And since I've put in so much time, money, energy, and resources
into creating these programs, you better believe that I am going to
promote them. Because number one, I'm confident in them.
Number two, I know they can help people. Number three, I offer
them at a fair price. Most importantly, number four, I have a ton of
free training videos that I offer on my YouTube channel. And so
while I may do heavy promotion on my email list, you can access a
lot of my material absolutely free before you decide to buy
anything. It's one thing when your salesy you're promoting stuff
and you're never giving anything away for free. It's another thing
when you balance that out. In the context of giving video
presentations and sharing content, they should be less about
promotion. There's a time to promote and there's a time to give free
quality content.
You also can do a short post and share a link to your presentation
video that goes back to YouTube or your website. What I like to do is
I like to upload my videos to YouTube, and then embed the YouTube
video on my website. Because that way, I get the best of both
worlds. I get the love from YouTube because I'm sharing quality
content on YouTube. But because the video is embedded on my
website, when I send traffic to the video, they're going to both
YouTube and to my website and they have an opportunity to explore
the website and maybe buy something else from me. You can also
add a demo video to your personal profile. I have this on my
YouTube channel. It's basically an introduction video that explains
what it is that you stand for, what it is that you teach, and how it
can help people.
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You can also do long-form posts. So, when you write long form
posts or content on LinkedIn, you can embed videos directly into
your post. Currently, LinkedIn supports embedded videos from
YouTube, Getty, Vimeo, TED, and live stream.
Courses. If you enjoy creating content for specific audiences, you
can create your own course using video presentations as a major
component. One of the advantages of courses is that you can edit
your presentation and it works for you while you're doing
something else. If you're careful with your planning, you can create
modular pieces that can be put together for different types of
courses. And so that's exactly what I am doing here. I'm creating
this course using nothing more. I mean, aside from the time that
was spent researching with my team, everything that we were
going to be putting into this course. But in terms of the actual nuts
and bolts of creating it, I'm using Keynote, which is basically
Apple's version of the slideshow presentation software. And I am
using a Yeti blue microphone, which I paid 100 bucks for on
Amazon, and I'm using a laptop computer, a MacBook Air. But you
could realistically use any computer.
Like I said in the beginning of the module. Nowadays it is faster and
easier to share video content with people than it has ever been
before. And it will only get easier and faster. I happen to love
creating courses. It's the one part of my business that I absolutely
love more than anything else more than the research. More than
the marketing. More than the design. More than figuring out
customer lifetime value and acquisition costs. I love sitting down
and actually delivering the value through the courses that my team
and I work hard to ensure are there to help people.
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You can offer your courses on sites like Udemy, Teachable,
LearnWorlds Skillshare, CourseCraft, or Thinkific. It takes time to
research these platforms to discover which might work best for the
type of audience who wants and needs your materials. On your own
website. If you're already driving traffic to your own website, you
can offer your course as a package with video presentations.
So, again, the difference between these two things I would say is me
personally, I would probably never share my courses on something
like Udemy or Skillshare, or any of those platforms. Simply because
those platforms are designed to connect you with people who are
interested in your courses. And you pay heavily for that. I think I
read on Udemy that the average teacher on Udemy earns about
$8,000 a year. And for me, that's just not sustainable. I can make a
lot more money than that selling the products on my own website
because I know how to drive traffic to my own website. But if you're
just starting out, and you aren't a marketing expert and you don't
know how to drive traffic to your website just yet, you can definitely
start with a platform like Udemy or Teachable or LearnWorlds just
to get your content in front of people until you are able to drive your
own traffic.
You can also use video at least two ways from this location. You can
offer an introductory promotional video as well as offer a video
course package that customers can purchase, and either download
directly after purchase or you can ship to them. Webinars.
Communication is always enhanced when you see and are able to
connect with the speaker. Online tools like GoToWebinar or
Webinar Jam, give you the ability to integrate video into your
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more about what it is that you have to offer. When they've clicked
on the button, it's a behavior that reinforces their behavior is
consistent with their attitude. Remember, one of the laws of
influence is commitment and consistency. Then later in the
description, it could say want to learn how and XYZ. And this gives
the audience a chance to once again display their behavior by
clicking the button a second time. The more you can guide them to
reinforce their behavior, the more chances you have to persuade
them to purchase what you have to sell. That wraps up this module.
I'll see you in the next one.
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that those mosquitoes were infected with malaria, when in fact they
weren't. But he did a damn good job of capturing their attention. Dr.
Jill, who's a neuroanatomist, brought a real human brain to her
talk. Many people were disgusted and squirmed in their seats, but at
the same time, they were fascinated.
In 1984, Steve Jobs offered the first Macintosh computer to his
audience, a group of 2,500 employees, analysts, and media. After
discussing the product, he told the audience that everything he'd
shown them was in the bag on the table. He walked into the middle
of the stage where there was a black canvas bag and took out the
Macintosh SE. He inserted a floppy disk and then walked away. The
Macintosh showed images and type something that had never been
seen on a computer before. The final wow was when Macintosh
spoke for itself. It told a joke about IBM and the crowd roared with
laughter and excitement. Jobs was visibly moved at the audience's
reaction. The audience was left with never trust a computer you
can't lift.
You also want to prime their mindset, you want to give them
guidelines on what you're going to tell them in your presentation,
then make the presentation, then summarize so they'll know what
the most important takeaways are. This is a time tested three-part
formula called Aristotle's Triptych. But it doesn't have to be
formulaic in the way that you do it. So, first, you tell them what
you're going to tell them. So, what do you want to say? What does
your audience needs to hear? Too many presenters focus on the
first question, but not the second. Right? They focus too much on
what they want to say and not as much as what the audience needs
to hear. And that's again, another reason why I love the TED Talks.
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modules or video modules? Well, each audio and video module has
an introduction and it also has a closing. It also has an intro video
and a video that goes at the end of the module. So, that forces the
brain to have to take a break, right? You have to stop this video, you
have to go and find the next video and replay it. And that gives your
brain a chance to reset.
I learned this from another expert marketer many many, many,
many years ago, when I started creating online programs. I wanted
to create these hour, two-hour-long video training modules. And
he told me, “Paul, it's a waste of time. People have short attention
spans. Break your stuff up into 15 to 25-minute content and deliver
it that way.” And what's interesting is this. I've also went back and
watched a lot of my YouTube videos. And what I found is that even
what I believe to be my best YouTube videos where I'm delivering
the best possible content, the average watch rate is still around 10
minutes. And so I no longer make my YouTube videos longer than
10 to 15-20 minutes at the absolute most.
So, step one is to draft a headline that's Twitter-friendly. So,
challenge yourself to explain your key ID or message in 140
characters or less. The shorter and more specific, the better. The
next step is to support your headline with three major messages.
You can use a message map to organize your talk. Dr. Jill, a popular
presenter at TED divided one of her talks, a stroke of insight into
three sections. Brain circuitry, the day of the stroke, the insight
gained from the experience, and the impact on her life. Steve Jobs
gave a famous 2005 commencement speech about do what you love
that can be mapped out on a diagram in three pieces. His early
experiences, love and loss, and facing death.
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Step three, reinforce the major messages of your talk with three
bullet points that provide a trigger for the story or anecdote you will
tell to support that message. For example, under the Steve Jobs talk
for love and loss, the stories he told were about Apple garage, fired
from Apple, returned to Apple. Your entire message map for your
talk should fit on one page.
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than what you see on the map, right? The map is just a visual
representation of the actual territory. And so the classic NLP
presupposition that we have to always keep in mind is that the map
is not the territory. And so what that means is that the territory is
life. The territory is reality. The territory is everything around us as
human beings.
But the truth of the matter is that each person's representation of
that reality, each person's mental map of that reality is different.
And so if you put an apple in front of a room of 20 people, it said
that each person would perceive that apple slightly differently.
Now, an apple is a pretty objective thing. It's a fruit, it's red, we
know what it tastes like, we know what it feels like. Most of us have
eaten one at some point in our life. Yet, every single person in the
room would perceive that apple slightly differently. And an apple
was a very objective thing.
Well, you can imagine how differently people perceive things that
are more subjective. Things like opinions, things like tone of voice,
things like beliefs, things like the way you project yourself. And so
the point is that in this program, my goal is to give you the tools,
techniques, and strategies that you need to become the best version
of your persuasive self when speaking to other people. Yet, when
you speak to groups of people, there's a caveat. And the caveat is
that because each person has a different mental map of the world,
each one of those people is going to perceive you slightly
differently. Some may perceive you as confident, others may
perceive you as fake, phony. Because that's just how our minds
operate.
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And so that's exactly what I want to cover in this module. How do
we address groups of people as individuals, so that we have the best
possible outcome? Every individual is different. And yet, we can all
be categorized by learning styles, the way we take in sensory
information, ethnicity, social level, gender, and age. By being
sensitive to these differences and similarities, you can address
individuals even though you are speaking to a group. So, you want
to cater your presentation to the types of learning styles with these
tactics and techniques.
First, we talk about visual learners. So, they prefer to see
information and visualize relationships between ideas. These
people need charts and infographics, make your presentation very
visual. Show the relationships among the various points in a visual
way. You don't have to use charts and infographics. You can use
physical objects as well. Physical objects can be very impactful to
people who are visual learners.
Auditory learners prefer to hear information rather than reading it
or seeing it in visual display. So, you want to give them ways to
recite the information out loud, or give them a chance to repeat key
points back to you by asking questions and calling for audience
answers. You can use music and your tone of voice. Those are going
to be your best tools for gaining advantage.
The next is kinesthetic learners who learn best by doing things.
They are hands-on experiential learners. So, get them to move
around and demonstrate an experience. Role-playing works very
well for these kinds of people. Ask them to write things down so
that they'll remember. You always want to use the VAK Model, the
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So, I talked about this in an earlier module where I said that it's
very easy to pinpoint someone who's being dishonest. Because
when someone's being dishonest, there's a disconnect between
their nonverbal language and their verbal language. So, there's a
disconnect between what they're doing with their body, and what's
actually coming out of their mouth. And that's because the body is
just an extension of the brain. And so if you're saying something,
that's not true, your brain knows that it's not true. So, the body
can't help but signal that there's a disconnect. And so if your
gestures are not in alignment with what your words are saying, or
with what you are saying, your audience is going to sense a
disconnect.
Now, they might not necessarily think that you're lying to them or
being dishonest with them, but they are going to experience some
sort of a disconnect. And when the disconnect happens, you've now
moved them from listening and being engaged and persuaded by
what you're telling them to trying to figure out where the
disconnect is. That's not what you want them to be doing.
You also want to use universal metaphors. Whichever metaphors
you use need to be relevant across cultures. For example, a traffic
jam, a great meal, or a lesson in school might be universal. But
certain sports metaphors, like a homerun or a double play may not
make sense at all to people who have never experienced baseball in
their life.
Men and women. You need to treat this delicately. Now listen, I
realized that some of you may be thinking that doing these types of
things makes you biased. Or it makes you prejudice. Or it makes you
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terminated after he did that. And this just displays a complete lack
of awareness in a communication skill. This is the epitome of a poor
communicator.
Remember, I always talk about the three types of communicators,
poor communicators, average communicators, master
communicators. This is the epitome, a prime example of a poor
communicator. Poor communicators only have the ability to see the
world through their map. So, circling back to that presupposition
that the map is not the territory. If I were to sum up the one main
difference between poor, average, and master communicators, it's
the ability to see the world through other people's territories or
through their maps rather. To see the territory through other
people's maps. To see the world through the lens that other people
see it through. Poor people cannot do that. Average people can do it
to some extent. Master communicators can do it elegantly.
And so a poor communicator never takes the time to think about
how somebody else might interpret what they're saying. They don't
really even care. They just say what they say. They don't have a
filter. If you get offended, it's your problem. And so that's not
something that you want to be. Remember, our goal is to always
strive to be the master communicator.
Women are not the only ones that can be alienated in an audience.
Men can be too. Women speaking to predominantly female
audience have to be careful about what they say when there are a
few scattered men in the audience. There's always that landmine of
mentioning something that is more of a stereotype than real data.
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Age also makes a difference. So, you need to ask yourself, are your
audience members close to your age? Or are they 20 years younger?
Make sure you tailor your talk to the age of your audience. If your
audience is of all different ages, try to stick with references that
they can all relate to. You want to think about the baby boom era,
you want to think about Generation X, you want to think about
millennials. You also want to think about Generation Z, the digital
natives, a fragmented society of those with birth dates, from 1997
to 2012. They've had a lifelong use of technology for
communication. So, you want to be cognizant of all of these
different things when you speak to groups of people.
You also want to think about the motivational triggers that impact
these people. So, each generation has its own set of motivational
triggers. For example, it's well known that most millennials are
very socially conscious and tend to favor businesses that have
philanthropy as part of their model. Every generation has its own
slang terms that reinforce its social identity. Review the language
you plan to use closely to ensure that everyone will understand
what you are communicating.
Technological influences. Suppose you use the term
communication skills in your presentation, a baby boomer may
think this means formal writing and speaking abilities. But
someone in their 20s hears that same phrase, they may be thinking
about emailing and texting. Again, be cognizant of the groups of
people that you speak to and tailor your presentation the best way
you can.
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either wrap up the conversation if it's just a casual talk that I'm
having with them. Or if there's a point that needs to be made. I then
decide how I'm going to pivot, capture their attention again, drive
home the point, and then wrap up the conversation.
The cohesion of sound. So, there should also be a cohesion of sound.
You can think of sound as a bell curve. There will always be some
outliers. But the majority of your audience should be responding to
your major points. Like, great jokes, interesting stories, rhetorical
questions, with some responding sounds in unison. In a speaking
bootcamp, the trainers had the audience put on blindfolds. They
were given drums and drumsticks and then asked to beat the drums
in sync with each other. At the start, they were hopelessly out of
sync. But after a while, even without seeing each other, they were
able to get in rhythm with one another. When the rhythm changed,
they were able to adapt as well. When groups are changed, they
respond in unison.
Listen to the sounds that the audience makes. Depending on the
forum for your talk, the sounds an audience makes while you're
speaking, or while there are downtimes can provide you with clues
as to the effectiveness of your talk, question and answer sessions
provide information for sound and vocal feedback as well.
I'll tell you an interesting story. Way back in the day before, I was in
the business of training people with communication skills. I worked
for a fitness company, a pretty big one. And I worked in a Midtown
Manhattan location. I had about 50 employees working for me. And
I was operating a $5 million dollar a year operation. We had about
3,000 gym members. Most of them were corporate members. We
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because they think they can make themselves look smarter, or
make you look dumber. Either way, if their questions are not on
point, they usually just make themselves look dumber. So, don't
worry about it.
No matter what happens in a Q&A session, always try to bring their
questions and your answers back to the main points you presented
in your talk, so that you don't get side railed and deviate from the
topic at hand. You also want to get direct feedback. So, if you can do
it in a comfortable way, get direct feedback after your presentation
by having your audience members fill out an evaluation form. Have
the audience respond on a sliding scale to these statements or to
ones that are more appropriate. The speaker got my attention right
away. The speaker gave me something of value for my professional
life. The speaker stimulated and maintained interest. My questions
were answered. I'll remember this presentation and received
long-lasting value from it.
Then continue with these three essay questions which you can use
to improve your presentation. What was the highlight of this
presentation? What takeaway will stay with you? What was the low
point? Is there anything you wish the speaker had done differently?
Is there any other topic you wish the speaker had a dress that they
did not?
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you're not. And I broke that flow state when the teleprompter shut
down on me. And so I said, “You know what? I don't ever want that
to happen again.” So, what we did as a backup, was we put bullet
points of the transcription on index cards. And we surrounded the
studio with them, around the camera around the lights, you know,
within view of the camera. So, if I needed to look at a bullet point
really quick on an index card, it wasn't so far away that I was
deviating from the camera.
So, once again, about six months later, the same thing happened,
the teleprompter went out. But this time, I had these little index
cards with bullet points very close to the camera. And I was able to
use those to get myself back on track. But the point of the story is
that eventually I just stopped using the teleprompter and I found it
easier to just use the index cards. And I'll give you two reasons why.
The first one is, even though I do fairly well with the teleprompter, I
don't make a lot of mistakes with it. The truth of the matter is that
you always come across more sincere when you're not using a
teleprompter. The caveat is you have to actually know your stuff. If
you don't know your stuff, and you're trying to just go off the top of
your head. And you're using a lot of vocal fillers like ums and ahhs.
And it seems like you just don't really know what you're talking
about, yes, you're gonna run into a problem, you need a
teleprompter.
But if you know your content inside out, while the teleprompter
may make you appear flawless, having a natural conversation with
somebody always feels better. And for me, that's what the bullet
points do. And that's the reason why I do a lot of my teaching and
my presentations in the format that I'm using here. I mean, what I
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a stickler for being on time. Always make sure you have extra
commute time.
Email slides or other notes. Send your notes to someone else or to
your office so if needed, they can be sent back to you at a moment's
notice. Pack a printed copy or use what I consider to be the greatest
development in the history of my generation, Google Documents. I
absolutely love Google Documents. Sometimes when I tell
non-tech-savvy people about Google Documents, they get scared
off and are like, “Oh, my God, what is that? How do I use it?” So,
simple to use. All you have to do is open up a Google account. You
could start with a Gmail account, JohnDoe@gmail.com.
And then, once you open up your Google account, in the top
right-hand corner next to your picture, if you have one, you'll see a
series of dots. I think it's about - or little squares, actually. I think
there's about nine or 12 of them up there. And when you click on
that, it opens up all of your Google applications. So, any application
that you use from Google will be there. So, YouTube will be there,
your Google Calendar will be there. But most importantly, your
Google Documents will be there.
And so what Google Documents enable you to do, they're just like
Word Documents, but they're dynamic and they're always with you.
So, what that means is I used to write stuff in a Word Document or
in a Pages document years ago. And I would write it down at my
house and then if I needed it at my office, I would have to email it to
myself. Well, what Google Documents allows you to do is access
those documents from any device at any time. So, you create the
document at home, the document is the same when you get to work.
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stride. You got to learn how to see the humor things. Things will
happen and over time, you'll come up with ways to handle any
situation with ease. Your current disaster may make for a great
story for a future talk.
The rambling question or the impossible question. So, you've heard
these before during a Q&A session. One of the participants stands
up and spends two to three minutes with a preamble before asking
their question. If you've done a great job with your presentation,
you're even more likely to get an impossible question. How do you
deal with an impossible question?
So, is it X or Y? Rephrase what you think you heard and interrupt
the person if necessary, to guide them into being more concise.
Provide two alternatives so the person chooses before you proceed
to answer. If the person seems to be wandering, you can politely ask
them to rethink the question and come back to them. Most
members of the audience dislike when someone does this. So, if you
handle it with charm, most people will be pleased. Don't be afraid to
say, I don't know. Take down the question and follow up by sending
an email, or posting the response on your blog, or on your Facebook
page, your YouTube channel, or any way that you can
re-communicate with these people. This gives you an other
opportunity to interact with them,
Offer the question to the audience. Now, depending on the group of
participants, there may be someone who can respond and provide
quality information. You may risk your authority by doing this, but
depending on the circumstances, it might be a way to interact with
the audience and be of service to them, which is ultimately your
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Over 700,000 children die each year because they don't have clear
water. He was able to influence his audience to take action and
participate in solving this problem by developing a plan to get these
machines where they are needed most.
By violating his audience's expectations and drinking water that
was formerly feces, Gates was able to generate publicity, gain
attention, and get people to take action for his worthy cause. It
worked because the human brain is attentive to novelty. As I said
before, human brain loves novelty. It said that the same neurons
are fired in the human brain, when we learn something, as when we
experience extreme pleasure. So, people like to learn stuff.
Second thing is that novelty gains attention. As I said before, the
human mind functions on autopilot most of the time, it's a
cognitive miser, doesn't like to utilize most of its resources. It saves
the resources for the more important things. Well, how does it
decide whether or not something is important? If it comes across a
piece of information, it subconsciously cross-references it with
similar information that's come across it before. If it decides that
it's the same, then it files it as irrelevant because it's been there
before. Right? You don't need to read a book on how to learn how to
ride a bike if you've done it before. But the minute something new is
introduced, and it can't be filed away into the “Yes, I've heard this
before category,” the brain wakes up and becomes attentive.
A group of experts in deterring terrorism were discussing what
needed to be done to make a United States city more secure. They
were preparing a presentation to take two local officials. In
preparing their presentation, one of the photos they had decided to
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present was a photo of a rusty broken lock. The lock had been found
on the entrance to a power plant. Instead of just showing that
photo. They brought rusty locks with them and placed them on the
roundtable where they were having the discussion. Audience
members passed the rusty worn-out locks around. At the end of the
presentation as they gave feedback on the speech, state officials
said those locks made an impression on us. They were moved to
take action and improve their infrastructure, not because of a well
presented slide, but instead because the speakers violated their
expectations with rusty locks.
In 2009, John Chambers, the CEO of Cisco was introducing a new
type of technology his company offered called TelePresence to an
audience of Indian entrepreneurs and businessmen. Chambers
began to explain the product which is a series of high definition
monitors and cameras designed so that people can experience
meetings as if they're in the same room, even though they're 1000s
of miles away from each other. He mentioned his vice president of
video, Martin Debir. On cue, Martin appeared on stage and took his
place next to John. Except that Martin wasn't really there. He was
over 14,000 miles away. The two men proceeded to continue the
presentation while Chambers was on stage, and Martin was on
telepresence. They discuss the possibilities for face-to-face
collaboration over long distances for industry and healthcare. The
goal was sales, but also to educate others on how technology can
make distance between people disappear. Amazing.
A lightbulb moment helped Sara Blakely turn a $98 pair of pants
into an empire. Sara had a pair of $98 white pants in her closet for
eight months. Every time she tried them on she didn't like what she
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New York City in the spring or the summer, you will see lines
hundreds of feet long of people getting their lunch at Shake Shack.
Danny Meyer is always looking for new ways to tell stories in his
presentations that will educate his employees and participants on
what consumer service really means.
Someone can be taught how to set a table with a flair, but
developing a high HQ, hospitality quotient, isn't as easy to do
because it requires flexibility and attention to details. So, he used
this story in one of his presentations. Meyer was on a business trip
to Florida. When he got to his hotel, he was exhausted. He just
wanted to order a cheeseburger and watch his hometown Cardinals
play the San Francisco Giants. He went down to the lobby bar and
ordered his meal. The Jets vs. Patriot pregame was on but no one
was in the bar. So, the waiter switched the channel for him. He was
enjoying the Cardinals game but after several bites of his burger,
the television switched back to the Jets vs. Patriots.
When the waiter came back, he noticed that the game had been
switched. Meyer said it was okay. He would take his burger to the
lobby bar in the hotel. But the waiter said no, that's not fair. You
were here first. Then the waiter said let me fix this for you. The
waiter came back with the remote control, switched the channel
and handed the batteries to Meyer. Meyer told his audience that the
burger wasn't superior, but that he would never forget those
batteries and the experience of customer service he received.
Through his storytelling and presentations, Meyer is able to create
high HQ, culture among his employees. Not only do his employees
learn and adopt his attitude, they're also motivated to teach it to
others.
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So, really the key here is you want to violate people's expectations.
You want to give them the complete opposite of whatever they were
expecting, provide something novel, gain their attention, tell great
stories and connect with them emotionally. I'll see you in the next
module.
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the operator would come back on the line and interrupt his pitch,
which would destroy his credibility.
Branson feels that this forever changed the way he thought about
communication. He believes, and so do I, that complexity is your
enemy. Any fool can make something complicated, but it takes a lot
of work to make something that's complicated simple. Branson's
communication style, clear, concise language that uses ordinary
languages at the core of his mastery of how to influence others. And
I'll tell you what, before I got into the business of training people on
communication strategies, I was a copywriter, a professional
copywriter. And essentially, my job was to write the words on a
page that sold people's products. Write the words that make the
person take out their credit card and purchase the product.
And one of the earliest lessons that I learned in copywriting from
the great Gary Halbert, who's widely recognized as arguably the
greatest copywriter of our time, Gary said that it's not what you
write, it's how you write it. And so a lot of times, it's not about
using fancy words or jargon, complicated sentences, or even having
the best punctuation. It's more about the actual message. And using
simple, easy to understand language is your best friend when
writing sales copy. It's also your best friend, when communicating
with people in person. There's really the only difference between
writing copy and communicating in person is that one's on paper,
and one's done face-to-face.
Steve Jobs was a master of taking complicated ideas and putting
them into accessible simple ideas that people could understand and
relate to. Look at the devices. I mean, when he unveiled the iPad,
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which I think was in 2010. I mean, if you rip this thing open, you
know, the complexity of what makes it function and do all of the
different things that it does is pretty wild. But on the surface, if you
look at it, what does it have? It has the central button on the
bottom. It has the power button at the top. I think it has a lock
button and a volume button. That's it. So, aside from
communicating complex things into simple ideas, he also believed
in simplicity when it came to ease of use. He wanted people to be
able to use his devices easily and not get overwhelmed and get
confused. He knew that most people have no idea what five
gigabytes means. They can't get their arms around it.
In 2001, he crafted one sentence about Apple's new product that
told a complete story. When he launched Apple's first mp3 player,
the now famous iPod, he described it simply to his audience. He
said that five gigabytes was equal to 1,000 songs. But the reality is
that there were other mp3 players already selling on the market
that could hold this many songs. But no company had a product
that was the tiny, portable size of the iPod. He completed the story
when he said that the iPod was 1,000 songs in your pocket. What an
amazing metaphor. Apple has sold over 400 million iPods to date.
Jobs once said, you have to work hard to get your thinking clean to
make it simple. But it's worth it in the end, because once you get
there, you can move mountains.
You might not know the name Jorge Mario Bergoglio, but he's one
of the most sought after presenters on the planet today. That is the
birth name of Pope Francis. During his visit to the Philippines in
2015, over 6 million people congregated to see him and hear him
speak. Pope Francis delivers his message with humility and
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Because it's going to have the same impact on your brain. So, when
you see that picture, you're going to instantly remember what your
point was, rather than trying to remember what the words on the
slide were. They offered their revised presentation to a large oil
firm and secured an $875 million contract. When asked why they
hired the company, one of the oil executives said, “Their
presentation made me see new possibilities. It was the type of
thinking that I want to invest in.” The takeaway is to use visual
storytelling to simplify your message.
Charles Michael Yim, nets the biggest deal in shark tanks history $1
million from all five sharks with a simple explanation of a
complicated product. Yim had been an entrepreneur since the age of
six, and he learned a lot before he founded the company, and the
product that he would pitch to Shark Tank. His product was a breath
analysis platform. It was essentially a non-invasive way to obtain
data on the clinical state of an individual by analyzing the organic
compounds in their breath. However, Yim didn't tell the shark
investors any of this. In fact, his presentation wasn't technical at
all. Yim began by giving the sharks a glass of wine, and giving them
a hypnotic suggestion to imagine how you would feel at a get
together or sports event where you've had some food and a few
drinks. You're ready to go home, but you're not sure if you're fit to
drive.
He then pulled out a police size breathalyzer. After they had that
picture in their minds. He pulled out the breathometer, the first
breathalyzer that can fit in your pocket. He demonstrated how to
plug the small device into a smartphone, and then use an app to test
your breath by blowing into the device. Yim's device and his simple,
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And what I told him was that in 2003, I was involved in a serious car
accident, where I basically broke my right hip. I dislocated my right
hip, to the point that my leg was basically laying next to my body
inside my skin, of course, but it was laying next to my body. And so
I had to have two surgeries on my hip. I had to have an extensive
rehabilitation process. And if you've ever watched Jiu-Jitsu, the
hips are probably the part of the body that you use the most. And so
I have the same reservations and apprehension when I first started
that he had. I used to tell myself, I'll never be really good at this, my
hips weren't designed for it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
But as time has went on, again, this is not to turn this into a
self-help program, I really begin to study the topic of
neuroplasticity. And what neuroplasticity is, is the science of the
brain, forming new neural pathways based on the way that we
communicate with the brain. So, what scientific research is now
finding is that the brain basically changes itself, based on the way
that you speak to it. So, you have two options when you speak to
yourself. You can either speak negatively, or you can speak
positively. And so what I learned was I began to train myself to
eliminate negative words from my vocabulary. I practice
affirmations every single morning when I walk my dog. I say all
positive things to myself. I've paid very close attention to the way
that I speak about things when I'm communicating with other
people. I don't use words like I can't, or that's impossible. I replaced
them with things like it's challenging, so on and so forth.
And so anyway, to make a long story short, what I did was I changed
the story that I used to tell myself about my hip. I used to tell myself
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man was very critically injured and would not have lived had he had
been left to swim to shore on his own. Kennedy took a strap from
the life jacket the man was wearing and grasped it between his
teeth. He swam for four hours with his crewmate in tow to a tiny
island that was 70 yards wide. Kennedy survived the battles of
World War Two to become president. The man he saved lived until
he was 84 years old. So, imagine telling this story to a child in a
hospital bed, knowing that someone else who was sickly was able to
overcome that and become stronger is a powerful motivator.
Inspiration is just as powerful as medicine. Inspiration can help
someone overcome sickness.
Dr. Rich Guerra is a cardiologist at Walnut Hill Medical Center in the
center of Dallas, Texas. Walnut Hill isn't just any hospital. Their
health and wellness model involves the level of customer service
you would find at a Ritz Carlton or a Disney Resort. In order to get
his employees to understand the level of customer service needed
and expected there, and to motivate them to make it a part of their
DNA, he presents this story. Imagine you're living in medieval
times. You're traveling down a dusty rocky road and you see a man
with a sledgehammer breaking up rocks. When you ask, “What are
you doing?” He replies, “I'm breaking up rocks.” You continue a
few miles and you see a second man doing the same type of work.
When you ask, “What are you doing?” He replies, “I'm making a
living.”
A few hours later you come across a third man. Even though you
feel very tired and leg wary from traveling, something about this
man makes you feel better. He seems different than the other two
even though he's doing the same thing. When you ask, “What are
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hotel for the customer at 07:00 AM. Do you think that the
customers will remember the marble and hand-woven carpets in
the hotel? That doesn't mean anything to them. But the bellman’s
customer service is priceless. Wynn believes that if employees are
being treated fairly in their jobs, the next thing they desire is to feel
that their jobs have meaning. They want to be celebrated. Positive
self-esteem is one of the most powerful forces for motivation on
the planet.
Herb Kelleher and Rollin King hatched the idea for Southwest
Airlines on the back of a napkin in 1966. From the very beginning,
Herb felt that if you ain't got culture, you ain't got shit. Part of
Herb’s over the top commitment to Southwest corporate culture
was to put his employees first, his customers second, and his
shareholders third. When a reporter who was interviewing Kelleher
asked him why it seemed impossible for competitors to emulate
Southwest’s success. He spoke up and told this story about the
importance of corporate culture and power of people to make a
difference. The difficulty for them is the cultural aspect of
Southwest. The United Shuttle went after our business in Oakland.
They had lots of advantages, including First Class seats, global
frequent flyer program, and a $30 million advertising campaign.
But, I have 1,000s of letters in my office that say something like, “I
tried them, but I like your people more so I’m back.” The takeaway,
successful leaders use their speaking and management skills to
create and motivate an award-winning culture. Publicly sharing
those stories inspires and motivates people to provide the best
customer service possible, and to enjoy their work at a very high
level. Their work has meaning and that meaning resonates with
their emotions and souls.
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Winston Churchill. As a young man of 29, Churchill was thought to
be senile. In one of his first speeches, he completely lost his train of
thought and was silent for nearly three minutes. After this fiasco,
many would have remained silent forever. But instead, Churchill
promised himself that he would become so practiced and natural at
speaking, that it would never happen again. To this day, the entire
world benefited from Churchill's decision. History has almost
forgotten that the British almost made a deal with Adolf Hitler.
Through a series of inspirational speeches, Churchill changed the
tide of history and helped the British people understand the
consequences of allowing the evil of the Nazi Empire to march
forward. As the British were beaten down by the Nazis, he
continued to speak to the British people to keep their spirits up
during that dark time. At a critical time during the Battle of Britain,
all available British aircraft were in the air attempting to prevent
the Nazis from getting close to London.
Churchill sat in his car with his military secretary as he gazed at the
Battle overhead. He told his secretary not to disturb him and he
remained quiet for a full five minutes. He was very moved by what
he was witnessing. He then wrote down this thought to share with
the British people in a later speech. “Never in the field of human
conflict has so much been owed by so many to few. The so much
stood for the priceless freedom, liberty, and democracy of the
British lands, and those of their allies. But so many represented the
population of Britain as well as the countries that Hitler had
invaded, if not the entire free world. For so few signified the brave
British pilots, many of whom died defending that liberty.” The
takeaway is that inspirational speakers are able to motivate large
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since it was in conflict with the advice she was giving women about
leadership roles. After telling the story about her daughter, Sheryl
gave the women three pieces of guidance. Sit at the table, make
your partner a real partner. Don't leave before you leave. Sheryl
meant that many women stay by the sidelines in business instead of
taking an active part. Even in homes where the husband and wife
both have careers, women do twice as much housework and three
times as much child-rearing. Also, women are more apt to leave
their heads and hearts way before they actually leave their jobs.
Which essentially means they're not engaged in pursuing
leadership opportunities. The takeaway? You don't move
mountains with an Everest of data, you do it by sharing personal
stories from the heart. Much debate followed Sheryl's talk and the
Lean In Philosophy became a movement with women everywhere,
sharing their difficulties in rising to the top and coming up with
strategies to do so.
Pooja Sankar came from a traditional Indian background. She is the
founder of Piazza, an online platform for students to share so they
can overcome their shyness and get help as they are trying to learn.
Educated at the prestigious Indian Institute of Technology in India,
Pooja had earned one of the 2,000 students spots out of 2 million
applicants. She was talented and smart even though there had been
a cultural pressure for her to follow a strictly traditional path of
becoming a wife and mother. She found that she had to overcome
her shyness in order to, her mostly male colleagues and college
professors questions about the material so that she could progress
in her studies.
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John Lasseter loved the Disney Company until they fired him. Then
his life came full circle. John Lasseter filled notepads upon notepads
with sketches when he was a boy. As a teenager, he read The Art of
Animation that told the history of Disney's animators. He worked
hard to become an animator at Disney. He was in his 20s when he
got a job there. John saw the potential in computer animation and
tried to present it to his boss and colleagues at Disney. Then, there
was the day that one of his supervisors said to him, “John, we don't
want to hear about your ideas. Just do what you're told.” When he
talks about that day, John's I still get watery. John was fired from
Disney. He was heartbroken. But he still loved animation, so he
didn't give up.
Fast forward to 1983, John got a position at Lucasfilm’s computer
division, where they were developing computer animation
technology. In 1986, Steve Jobs bought the division and established
it as an independent company called Pixar. John had to pitch an idea
for a story to Steve. It was a short film called ThinkToy. Jobs
listened, but he stared off as if he was looking into the future. At the
end of the meeting, Jobs looked directly into John's eyes and said,
“John, make it great.” ThinkToy won an Academy Award for Best
Animated Short, and became an inspiration for all of Pixar's
subsequent films. After a rocky relationship between the two
companies for several years, the Disney Company changed their
mind about the ideas percolating Pixar. Disney eventually bought
Pixar, where Lasseter is now Chief Creative Officer of both Disney
and Pixar. Those three words of advice from Jobs forever resonated
in Lasseter's ears as he was inspired to make every frame in every
film great. Lasseter's work. And the work of his team at Pixar
launched an entirely new industry that has brought joy to families
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because since you have nothing to compare it to, you don't really
know what your resistance level is when somebody puts a
submission on you. So, you tap pretty fast. All of us go through it.
And he asked me how he can get better. And I said, “The only way
that you can get better is you just have to keep coming.”
And so what I explained to him is that when you train Jiu-Jitsu, it's
like you're starting a savings account. And every time you show up
to class, and every time you train, it's like you make a small deposit
into that savings account. And while it may not seem on the surface,
that that savings account is growing at a rapid rate. If you just set it
and forget it and keep saving and keep making deposits, one day,
you're going to have a huge savings account that you're now going
to be able to make withdrawals from if you need to.
And so my point was that if you keep investing the time in bettering
yourself at Jiu-Jitsu, one day, you're going to have the ability and
the skill set to draw upon to actually submit somebody else, or to
defend from being submitted, or to elevate your skill level. And so
the same is true with everything that I taught you in this program.
If you really want to become a master of persuasive speech, you
have to keep studying, you have to put in the work, and you have to
make those deposits into your communication education, for lack
of a better term. So, don't give up. Keep studying, keep practicing,
and keep getting better. I wish you the best.
Paul Mascetta
influenceacademy.net
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