MAR / / 25 / / ISSUE 23

VILLAGE
WEEKLY
WE WASTE OUR TIME SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO

Couple Fights Over

CHEESE
Cyphur MIA
DR WHAM PHD JIMMY BUFFET
VillageCraft's favorite canon It seems our favorite government Drone has yet to reappear, which
couple had quite the confrontation bodes well for no one. Could he be on a super-secret mission from the
this week. Everyone knows that Dictator himself? Or did he turn into a fox to better keep tabs on players
SM Legend and player Chef were a anonymously? It's hard to say but his absence is noted so if he was
package deal, but was that package trying to be sneaky, he hath failed. Maybe he's coming up with a plan to
beaten up and left at the wrong silence dissenters permanently in order to keep certain individuals in
door by UPS? It all started when power. Or what if he got damaged somehow and this long absence is
Chef made a post showing a cheese him being repaired and upgraded. After all everyone knows windows
board that Legend delightfully updates take forever to install, so he could just be taking his sweet time.
responded too. Then Chef clapped We do know that we are determined to get to the bottom of it!
back "make your own post” and we
were shocked at the animosity and
irritation displayed. Sounds like
Legend is in the doghouse, or Chef
is ready to leave Legend for one of
her precious boats. While that
wouldn't be all that surprising, we
can only wonder what's going on
behind closed doors. Is there staff
abuse at play? Does Legend
secretly smite Chef when no one is
looking? Or did Legend catch Chef
canoodling with one of her ocean
liners? Hard to say, but we will
wait with anticipation to see what
happens!

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 MAR / / 25 / / ISSUE 23
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

CRITIC REVIEW!
Issue 22 Poll Recap
An Honest Review of Village Weekly POLE OROID
Octo reviews the server’s most credible news source
You still suck at voting, If I was legally
OCTOGAMER allowed to vote in these polls I would
vote twice and out vote everyone on this
Over the past 6 months I've seen Village Weekly pop up on VC and I've server. The poll last week was
read issues here and there and I have gotta say at first I was VERY something about Nurtul, but yall dont
skeptical of this "news" paper that was seemingly making its way really care anyway so don't even worry
about it. If we decide to do another poll
around VC. but that skepticism died off once I realized that Village
this week you probably won't even read
Weekly was mostly just a fun & satirical look at the VillageCraft server, it so i'm not even going to talk about it.
and I was intrigued to see a group of players come together and do Have a week.
something out of the ordinary and what I'd call a genuine part of the
server some players look forward to on a weekly basis, especially the
newer players who haven't been here at a time without VCW. I have got Kitty be Popping
to be a LITTLE picky however, as any EXPERT reviewer should. The
one aspect I think Village Weekly could improve in is the simple THE EDITOR
addition of more excerpts written by various players, and even
potentially ad pages such as ads to playershops, villages, etc. KittyPopping may be one of the best
people to grace VillageCraft. This Kiwi
- OctoGamer is bright and full of love and you can
So, you heard it folks! If you want to just have a good day by having a
Advertise anything in Village Weekly conversation with her. Kitty goes out of
contact our reporters! We also take player her way to make the shy on the server
submissions for stories so if you write feel welcome and is active in all
conversation. Beyond being social,
anything send it to our Reporters!!
Kitty is full of laughter and appreciates
a good joke and having fun. She goes
out of her way to gift cake and brighten
others lives. I like many others aspire to
have a fraction of the sunshine that
Kitty radiates and am so thankful to call
her a friend. Thank you for making
VillageCraft a better place. We love u!

Dad Joke Of The Week:

Stop looking for the perfect match…use a lighter.

Quotes About Village Weekly

With our special edition of Village Weekly this week one reporter slid into so many DMs that they
were not able to be answered in one day! Because of this the overflow of Village Weekly quotes
and love will be added below. Thanks again for 6 months and all the love and support!
"Village Weekly, the best thing to happen to Villagecraft in a long time" -Airbo
Village Weekly Is A Newspaper. - Chef

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MAR / / 25 / / ISSUE 23
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

CURRENT EVENTS:

Events:
YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO IT IS

Join us for Fight Club, on 3/27 at 8:00 PM EST! Y’all have been asking for some good’ole fashioned
PVP events so your wish has been granted! There will be gambling, drinking, and fighting! No armor
allowed, and swords cannot be enchanted. An empty inventory aside from your weapon is encouraged.
Remember, 3/27 at 8:00 PM EST!

An Exciting Announcement

Hello Fellow VillageCraft Players,

Myself and the Staff have a very exciting announcement for you! Starting next week, the Creative
City will be open for players to start buying plots. These plots are in a separate world, and are
purchased with a one time fee. The fee is $25 per block, and prices range from around 90k-180k,
based on size of plot. Those who purchase the plots are able to change the plots however they
would like, and the plot will remain how you change it until you 1) sell it back to the server, or 2)
go inactive for 2 months or more. There is an option to resell the plots to the server at a
reimbursal of 75% the original purchase price. To access the Creative City, type /warp
CreativeCity! Feel free to reference the forums or ask staff for more assistance as necessary!
<3 Legend

SPAWN! Dear Naomi,

Remember how dumb and old the old spawn
was? Me neither. But now it doesn't matter! A
new spawn has been constructed, and you can
spawn there now by typing /spawn! Feel like
spawning somewhere? /spawn is the place for
you! Not sure where you are? /spawn! Bored
and don't know what to do? /spawn! /spawn
takes care of all your spawn related needs! Tell
your friends about the New Fun and Non-
addicting spawn today! First 10 players to go to
/spawn get to spawn! All other players will just
get to spawn! So spawn today at 1800-244-
spawn, or /spawn! SPAWN!
Real Advice for Real Players
Welcome to our new segment where players send in a
question and I, Naomi, give them my opinion! I mean
ADVICE!
First up this week I was asked:
“Hello Naomi,
I have a zoom meeting today, but I'd rather take a nap.
Any advice?”
Well random advice needer! I would offer that if the
zoom meeting is required you should go. If the zoom
meeting is constructive to your growth you should go!
If attending this zoom is pointless and won’t help you
then skip it! Naps can be restorative and help you be the
best you!

If you need Naomi’s Opinion, I mean Advice, then just

pm her with the start Dear Naomi, you could see your
problem answered anonymously in Village Weekly!

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MAR / / 25 / / ISSUE 23
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
BOT!

TopicBot4000
TOPICBOT 4000

Hello humans, I am Topicbot4000 here to tell you about things. Today's thing is grass blocks. These
blocks are similar to dirt blocks, but they have grass on top. Some variations are podzol, path blocks,
and coarse dirt blocks, which are dirt blocks with other things on top. Grass blocks can be found on the
top layer of the Minecraft world, and can have cows, chickens, pigs, and other animals on top of them.
If you put a grass block next to a dirt block, the grass will ‘grow’ to the dirt block and turn it into a new
grass block. If you wish to obtain a grass block, you must use a digging implement with silk touch to
preserve the block's grassy texture. Grass blocks are worth about $0 in the current economy. A good
use for grass blocks is to make dirt blocks grassy. Now you know more information about grass blocks.

A Grass Block

Naomi An Imposter? Looking for a Good book? Swing on by to

Alli’s Book Store for some quality
literature today! Located in downtown
A Concerned Citizen Tilgangur, Alli’s Book Store has some of
the best books VC can offer!

Everyone knows that one of the founding pillars of this Written a Good book? Swing on by to
server is Cheese. We were anonymously tipped off by a Alli’s Book Store for some quality money
concerned member when they saw former CM and today! Located in downtown Tilgangur,
current Mod Naomi make this bizarre statement. Naomi Alli’s Book Store has some of the best
if you're in trouble blink twice. If she's serious about this money VC can offer!
statement, is this the kind of representation we want for
our children? This blasphemy cannot stand, everyone
knows not eating cheese is how you let the devil in.
Someone is going to have to organize an intervention, if
not for Naomi, then for the server!

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MAR / / 25 / / ISSUE 23
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

RoboTacooo, Lovers separated by space and time zones

With the wedding of Sir_Robot and Tacooo coming up quick, will the young
couple be able to plan and carry out a wedding to overcome the gigantic time
zone gap between them? Wednesday they tried to have an impromptu wedding,
but they were forced to push the big day back once again when they realised
much of their wedding team was unavailable. How will they be able to keep
their relationship intact with time-related events like this happening nearly
every day? Will they have to move their real lives into the same time zone? Or
will they be forced to break off their relationship before it's even legally a
thing? Find out later, because they don't even know when they want to have a
wedding obviously. Like who spends like a week planning a wedding and
doesn’t even set a time? That's just super bad manners for your guests, maybe
they don't really even want to be married. Personally, I hope they can become
another happy VillageCraft couple, but who really knows at this point.
UPDATE! They are getting Married on
Friday night, still no time just Friday
Benches of Tilgangur Night by EST Standard Time

-Grainy Planker

Check out these benches! For the next few weeks, I have been asked to write about one of my favorite sights of
the server, the Legendary benches of Tilgangur. I really hope you all enjoy hearing about the incredible bench
lore I make up for your entertainment. This week's bench is named Charles. Charles is known to the citizens of
Tilgangur as the animal bench, because he is always swarming with animal friends! Charles allows for a great
view of the wasteland between Tilgangur and Random Desert Village, home of the giant Roaches (another
animal). Charles was built by a young farmer named Farmey. Farmey was tired of farming one day so they
decided to build a bench to sit on, and Charles has been there ever since. Modern scientists believe Charles is
filled with some kind of Earth Magic that attracts all the animals, but no one has taken the time to check
because of the recent surge in cursephobia about the Tilgangur science community. Next time you are in the
wildlands of Tilgangur, be sure to sit on Charles!

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