ldr-works.

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 13 MISTAKES WE MAKE IN LONG DISTANCE LOVE

About the Author

Milena Nguyen is a writer, speaker, trainer, coach, creator of

LDR Works program, and founder of HER Academy.

Her Mission is to empower women to find true love, unleash

their potentials, and create the lives their hearts desire.

She runs online programs to help women experience true

love from the inside-out, find their soul mate, and create the
life their hearts desire.

Milena is a 3-time TEDx speaker, has spoken in 10+ countries

on love, well-being, living a fulfilling life.

Her self-help book on love and relationships titled "10,000

Miles for Love" will be published in July 2017.

milenanguyen.com

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Table of Contents
About the Author ......................................................................... 1

Your Story ........................................................................................ 3

My Story: 9 Years Loving Long-Distance ......................................... 4

You Are Not Alone .......................................................................... 6

13 Mistakes We Make in Long Distance Love ................................. 8

Before you're "committed." ........................................................ 9

After you're "committed." ......................................................... 11

Your LDR Reality Check ................................................................. 13

Your Power .................................................................................... 16

Begin The Journey ........................................................................ 17

Your Next Step .............................................................................. 18

The LDR 12-Step Roadmap to Happy-Ending ........................... 19

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Your Story
Let me guess.

You're in a long-distance relationship.

You met your lover (boyfriend or girlfriend) online, during a trip, at

an event abroad. Or perhaps you were together the same city for
sometimes, but one need to relocate for work or study.

Let me also guess.

You love your boyfriend or girlfriend. You had the spark. You spent
amazing time together. And now as you’re apart, you feel a lot of
worries.

Because you downloaded this book, you want to find out how to
make long distance relationship work. But you have a lot of what-ifs

What if we won’t make it?

What if I break my heart again?
What if he cheats on me?
What if we get bored of each other?

You miss him; you want this to work badly. But you can't help
noticing that your Skype chats have somehow lost its spark. And as
the days go by, you feel more and more anxious.

You look around at your friends or family. And they're not helping.
Everyone is saying "I don't believe in long-distance relationships."
Or "LDR doesn't work." If your partner is a foreigner, your family may
disapprove, or you’re hiding him from them.

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If you’re thinking to yourself: “OMG, she’s reading my mind!” You’re

right. I know your situation in the palm of my hand, not because I
have psychic power, but because I’ve been there.

Not once. But three times.

My Story: 9 Years Loving Long-Distance

My husband Raphael and I, May 2017

My name is Milena Nguyen. I’ve had 3 committed long-distance

relationships that together took up almost 9 years of my life. Only my
3rd relationship survived. My husband Rapha and I got happily
married after more than 4 years of long distance.

Our love story has inspired hundreds of thousands of LDR couples

around the world. In the past 2 years, I've had the luck to support,
work with, and teach thousands of men and women in LDR.

I also have the chance to have helped tens of thousands of men and
women around the world, who struggled with the physical distance

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in their relationships, through my blog, emails, FB support group,

webinars, and my coaching program.

Because I’ve failed twice before and have seen how thousands of
people struggle in LDR; I know LDR is hard-work.

One of the biggest mistake lovers make in LDR (you’ll find in one
chapter) is to assume that if their “love and faith” is strong enough,
the relationship will work out by itself.

I’m a relationship coach and the founder of HER Academy - an online

education program to help women find confidence, build lasting
love, and create the future they desire.

I’m also an international speaker, and I have spoken on TEDx 3

times.

I’m not saying this to impress you. I’m saying this to help you calm
down, be at ease. You’re in the right place, reading the right stuff.

There is hope. I am 100% sure that it's possible for you to find
Happy-Ending in your LDR.

Reading this tiny playbook is the first giant step.

Because here I will pull you out from the mud. This sticky mud is
made of confusion
“What’s wrong with him?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“What’s wrong with us?”
“I’m trying my best why is it still not enough?”
…

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It's a muddy, sticky situation when you can't explain why you're in a
problem. Let me help you. You're in a problem because you're
making one of the 13 Mistakes.

You Are Not Alone

(source: internet)

I’ve helped women just like you to avoid these mistakes. Read their
stories below. You’ll see yourself in their struggles.

Anna - lives in Italy; her boyfriend lives in Bahrain. They have been in
LDR for 6 years. When Anna joins my program, she feels stuck. Her
relationship - even though established - has made progress. She
loves her boyfriend. But she holds herself back. Anna was afraid of
breaking her heart again and of losing herself and her career if she
relocates to Bahrain.

Maria - lives in the Philippines; her boyfriend lives in Singapore. Their

LDR is only 1-year-old. On the surface, there's nothing wrong. Still,
Maria can't help but feel worried. "What if we won't make it?", She
keeps asking herself. At the same times, the nay-sayers in her family
are feeding the doubt.

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Juana - lives in Malaysia, her boyfriend is Romanian. She is anxious

when she first meets me. She and her boyfriend have recently
argued. Their Skype chats were spare, and her man sometimes
canceled the call on short notice. That torments her as she feels she
wasn't important for him.

Anna, Maria, Juana are from different countries, culture, and

backgrounds. They take their relationship to the next stop on the
path to LDR Happy Ending.

Anna, Maria, Juana are not X-women. (As far as I can remember,
none of them has blue tongue or shoots laser beam through their
eyeballs.) They’re women just like you. They have the same fears and
doubts like yours. And they have cried for the same reasons you did.

The only difference is: they choose to take action. They learn the
right knowledge, train the right skills, apply the right principles. Thus,
they’re taking their LDR in the right direction.

So, sweetheart, you're not alone. We're all in this together. I'll share
with you what I shared with them. If Anna, Maria, and Juana can do
it, so can you.

Psychologist Meg Jay in her famous TED talk said: "The best time to
work on a marriage is before the marriage."

As a relationship coach, I would add to her insight.

− The best time to work on a relationship is at the beginning of a

relationship.

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You’re not at the beginning? The best time is as soon as possible.

You’re doing it long-distance? I’m raising a red flag. Please keep
calm and continue to read.

13 Mistakes We Make in Long Distance Love

(source: internet)

Because I care about you very much, I’m about to drop many truth
bombs - the radically honest stuff that I learned in 9 years of being in
3 LDRs, also from working with my growing group of students, and
from supporting my LDR Facebook community of 2,000 people.

I hope this truth bombs set on a chain of mini explosions in your

mind. They may be hard to hear; they may get your stomach churn,
and make you want to burn this book. But they are the truths I offer
to you from my heart with the only intention is to help you avoid the
mistakes I made, so you won't have to suffer the way I did for many
years.

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Before showing you how to do the right things in your LDR, let’s first
help you stop doing the wrong things. Otherwise, there is just no
space to cram in the new stuff.

Please know that most of the mistakes I tell you below I’d made
them myself. I experienced first-hand and tasted the painful
consequences that follow them.

I have no right to judge you, and that's also not what I want. I'm not
smarter than you. I simply have gone before you and have made a
truckload of mistakes. It is grace that I get to share them with you.
Remember, I love you, I want you to get to your dream.

You ready? Let’s go.

Here’s the fascinating list of 13 Mistakes We - especially women -

Make in Long Distance Love. I divide them into two parts: before
and after you’re committed.

*Committed = Both you and your partner say to each other

something along the line of "I'm here, and you are there. But I love
you, and you love me. Let's be in a Long Distance Relationship
together. We want this; we will work on it."
(Depending where you come from, this may lead to the change of
your Facebook status to In a Relationship. J )

Before you're "committed."

1. Meet someone nice at an event/trip have a great time

together. Then you have to say goodbye. He lives in another
city/country/continent. After the tearful farewell, you
immediately begin to plan how to move to where he is.

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2. Think about the guy many times during the day. Look at his
Facebook photo (just for the 5th time since breakfast.) Imagine
how it would be for you and him to reunite and together ride
towards the sunset.

3. Chat online with the guy for months without bringing up the
scary topic "So… What are we having with each other,
exactly?" In fact, he has never said: "I love you."

4. Sexting, showing your private parts to the guy on Skype,

sending sexy photos, etc. before you two are in a committed
relationship.

5. Feeling hurt or uncomfortable with how things are going on

between you. Keep those things to yourself, afraid of annoying
the guy with your problems. Or bring up the problem with
anxiety, paranoia, tearful confessions. End up in a fight.

6. Feeling stuck in this unidentified relationship for months or

years but just keep going. Telling yourself "Maybe he's just not
ready." "He doesn't know how to express his feelings."
"Everything will turn out, in the end, I believe in love."

7. When you and he are not yet openly committed to each other,
you pack your bag, buy the ticket, eagerly offer to visit the guy.
Telling yourself: "I'd love to travel anyway. I've never been to
his country!" Show up at the guy's apartment, have a lot of sex.

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(source: internet)

After you're "committed."

8. Thinking non-stop “What if this doesn’t work?” “What if he

isn’t the one?” “What if I’m wasting my time?” Just about 19
times a day. Worry until sick. Get so anxious that it affects your
work or study.

9. Have not relocated or no clear idea of relocation plan after 2

years in a committed LDR. Afraid that moving to another
country will destroy your perfect career and life plan. Feel
protective whenever the conversation about relocation is
brought up.

10. Talk to each other randomly once per week or 2 weeks.

Occasionally one person cancels the chat because “I’m so busy
with work.” Have no idea when you will see each other next,
and where.

11. Imagine he cheats on you. Especially after your mother warns

you about "men' nature." Try to text him during the day to

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know what he does, who he is with. Can’t sleep on nights when

he goes out late. Get paranoid when he doesn’t text you back.

12. Try to reassure yourself” We only need good faith. Our love is
so strong. Love conquers all.” Meanwhile, wondering why
you’re “losing the spark” and fighting more often. (In your
Skype chats you have nothing to say other than your cat’s
latest hairball and your nasty boss.)

13. Your dad becomes the lead character in Rambo, and your
mom has a nervous breakdown when hearing about him. You
have to hide or lie about him. Secretly plan a romantic escape.
At the same time, you feel guilty about being a bad daughter
and try to accommodate their demands.

Do you see yourself in any of the above? If not, wow, you're free to
stop reading this book now and begin to write a book on LDR. By
the way, which planet are you from? Which indigenous group do you
belong? Can I visit?

If you see yourself doing a few or many of the mistakes above,

congratulations! You're a mortal human.

Firstly, know that you're not alone. I have never met a single person
in LDR that didn't make that mistake.

Secondly, let’s do now what us human do most often: breathe.

Take 3 deep breaths.

It's not the time to panic or to have a shame attack.

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It's time to face the truth, to put your feet firmly on the ground to
step ahead. (Girl on fire has “her head on the cloud and her feet on
the ground”, remember?)

Your LDR Reality Check

(source: internet)

To help you plant your 10 toes more firmly on the ground. Take this
simple quiz below. Please rate where you're now on the left-hand
column. 0 being DO NOT agree – 10 being COMPLETELY agree.

Please do this quiz this with unflinching honesty. You're not doing
this for a teacher; you're doing this for yourself. Thus, do not rate it
as how you'd like it to be or how you think it should be. Give a
genuine evaluation of how you and your relationship is at this
moment.

Where you Long-Distance Love Reality Check

are now 0-10 0 being DO NOT agree – 10 being COMPLETELY
agree.

I am totally happy with how my relationship is currently.

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I am 100% confident that my relationship will eventually

become long-lasting, despite the temporary long-distance.

I know where I am going in life and understand how my

relationship fits in the picture.

I have the right beliefs to create healthy happy love.

In spite of the distance, I know exactly the level of

compatibility between my partner and I. And I use this
knowledge to be deliberate in loving him.

My partner and I share clear goal and expectations in our

LDR.

My partner and I can connect deeply through online

communication. We can share everything to each other
with total openness and honesty.

My relationship is safe, respectful, nurturing, and

liberating.

My partner and I enjoy our LDR. We find it fun, exciting,

alive.

My partner and I are intimate and passionate. We keep the

fire burning despite the distance.

My partner and I have clear travel plan. We know how to

use the trips to fall even deeper in love.

My partner and I have clear relocation plan. We know how

to find the balance between our relationship and career.

The people that matter to me (family, close friends)

support my relationship.

I know the proven way and have the right skills to grow my

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long distance relationship.

I have what it takes to create a love that lasts a lifetime.

Look back at the left column, if you cannot give a resounding 8

to all statements, there is room for more love in your love story.

If you’re feeling sorry for yourself, you’re missing the point. We don’t
have time for that. Doing this exercise is like pressing “find my
location” button in your Google Map - the tiny icon with the shape
of a compass.

After knowing where you are, you can begin to navigate to the
destination.

Now, look again at the quiz result and accept it.

Accept doesn’t mean you won’t do anything about it. Acceptance is

a beautiful attitude when you acknowledge that something is true,
and when you no longer try to avoid facing the truth.

Take three deep breaths. Sit with this reality, with this truth. Know
that everything is alright, your heart is beating; your lung is
breathing. The ground is beneath your feet. The sky is above your
head. Your relationship is imperfect, so are you. And that is fine.

− Life is never about becoming perfect. Life is about becoming whole.

And you, my dear, can bring wholeness in your relationships.

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Your Power

(source: internet)

Have you, even for just a moment, felt that you have the potentials
for an amazing life? That you have the potentials for love and
freedom and happiness? That you have the potentials to build a
happy family, give back to the community, create beauty for the
world?

If you’ve ever felt that way, even just for a fraction of a second, I'm
telling you that feeling is true. You have the potentials to do
anything and become anyone. You just need to know what is
blocking your potentials.

Do you know what’s holding you back? The answer is clear. It’s you.

What a great news! This means it's totally up to you to stop holding
yourself back and unleash the love warrior within you. It's your
responsibility. Your power.

No matter how your relationship is at this very moment. No matter

how matter how many miles are in between you and your partner.

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My dear, you're enough to turn a long-distance relationship into long

lasting love.

One step at a time, start from exactly where you are.

− Are you ready to let go of who you are to become who you can be?

Begin The Journey

(source: internet)

Stand up, shake those stuff off: those unwise actions, fears,
unhealthy thoughts, toxic feelings… Jump up and down with your
arms and head let loose.

I'm serious. This physical action sends a loud and clear message to
your mind with its sticky habits that you mean business. That you're
DONE with the old destructive way of thinking - feeling - doing. That
you won't stand to watch your past dictate your future.

If you’re afraid that people will arrest you for inappropriateness, do

this: Put this book down and shake your hands with your fingers and
wrist completely loose. Shake as hard and fast as you can. Shake with
all your strength like your fingers would fly away.

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It’s time to commit to something big: to become a different person -

think different, act different, feel different.

This doesn't mean that there's something wrong about you now.
When a pair of shoes no longer fits the feet of a toddler - and
toddlers change shoes faster than growing teeth - you simply find a
new pair.

I want you to become a toddler again and grow FAST. This old way
no longer serves you. The woman I am today is completely and
entirely different from the one I was 4 years ago.

Now know that everything happens to you and in your relationship

happen for your ultimate good. This happens in life because you're
meant to learn something.

It’s about time, my sweet little caterpillar, for you to fly. The reality
around you is not permanent. It’s just the cocoon. This cocoon
belongs to a grand process.

Even if it feels safe in there. You’re not meant to be in the cocoon

forever. You’re meant to break free from it. Sweetheart, your wings
will be beautiful. And real soon, you’ll be free to fly on the big sky of
true love.

Your Next Step

Now that you:
ü know about the 13 Mistakes
ü have a genuine evaluation of your relationship
ü feel inspired to take actions to unleash your potentials for
fulfilling love.

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Take the Next Step and Join my upcoming WEBINAR ...

The LDR Road Map to

Happy Ending
I can’t wait to show you the
12-Step Roadmap to Happy Ending
so you can begin to
create long-lasting love.

Sign up Here at No Charge

Ldr-Works.com
FemininePower.co

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Copyright 2017 by Milena Nguyen Her Academy

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or

reproduced in any form whatsoever, without written
permission by the author, except in the case of brief
quotations in articles and reviews

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