A PAPER PRESENTATION PREPARED AND DELIVERED

BY
PASTOR (MRS) IBUKUNAYO BAMIDELE

ON
FIX YOUR HEART II

VENUE
BIBLICALRULESAGAINSTDIVORCE
(BRAD)WHATSAPPPLATFORM

DATE
WEDNESDAY, 29th APRIL, 2020

TIME: 8:00PM

CONVENER
JOSHUA A. OWOJORI (FIREMAN)
Brief profile of Pastor (Mrs.) Ibukunayo Bamidele

Pastor (Mrs.) Ibukunayo Bamidele John is a co-pastor with her husband at the
Capstone Dominion Church Nigeria and their marriage is blessed with a beautiful
girl. She is a relationship expert and the convener of Single to married a group
dedicated to building a divorce proof marriage.

She is also very passionate about women and this makes the convener of the
winning women network which is dedicated majorly to raising triumphant women
in all areas of life. She is also the proprietress of Ayobami Nursery, Primary and
Comprehensive High School Nigeria. She has authored several books including
Diary of a wise woman, Greatness pills for teenagers and young adults, before
you say I do among others.

She is a doctoral student of Lead City University. She had Masters in public health
from the University of Ibadan and had her First degree in Human Anatomy. She is
skillful in ultrasound sonography and experienced in both gynecology and
obstetrics sonography
Text : Luke 8:5-15

[5]A sower went out to sow his seed: and as he sowed, some fell by
the way side; and it was trodden down, and the fowls of the air
devoured it. [6]And some fell upon a rock; and as soon as it was
sprung up, it withered away, because it lacked moisture. [7]And some
fell among thorns; and the thorns sprang up with it, and choked it.
[8]And other fell on good ground, and sprang up, and bare fruit an
hundredfold. And when he had said these things, he cried, He that
hath ears to hear, let him hear. [9]And his disciples asked him, saying,
What might this parable be? [10]And he said, Unto you it is given to
know the mysteries of the kingdom of God: but to others in parables;
that seeing they might not see, and hearing they might not understand.
[11]Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. [12]Those
by the way side are they that hear; then cometh the devil, and taketh
away the word out of their hearts, lest they should believe and be
saved. [13]They on the rock are they, which, when they hear, receive
the word with joy; and these have no root, which for a while believe,
and in time of temptation fall away. [14]And that which fell among
thorns are they, which, when they have heard, go forth, and are
choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no
fruit to perfection. [15]But that on the good ground are they, which in
an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring
forth fruit with patience.

OUTLINE
 Introduction*

 The weak heart*

 The offensive heart

 The failing heart

 The right kind of heart

THE OFFENSIVE HEART

The offensive heart stands for the one that fell on the rock and our case study is
Tamar the sister of Absalom

The story is found in 2Sam 13. The Bible says offenses will come so there is no
way you won't be offended but the problem comes when you allow the offense to
take root in your heart. It makes your heart hardened, so much that the word of
God can no longer penetrate.

Do you know how many people have stopped going to church because of one
offense or the other, or countless of people that are just going to church for going
sake. Tamar in the bible was raped, and that was the end of her story not because
that was GOD plan but because she couldn't let go of the offense. This makes her
heart hardened that the word of God became unprofitable in her life and she died in
the shadow of herself just because of offense.

The story shows us that even revenge can't soften our heart once we allows offense
because the death of Ammon did not soften her heart, I posted an article sometimes
ago on what offense did to me and I will like to share with you:

The Offensive/Touchy Heart

After the meeting I was so blessed that I decided to connect with the
minister to mentor me. When I heard that one of my friends was so
hosting her, I was so excited and I decided I would visit her the next
day so that we can have ample time to discuss. I wore one of my best
cloth and I was the first person she attended to the next morning. She
was so warm and we got chatting like we've always known each other.
She addressed my dressing that I was not dressed in a lady like
manner, she took out her pedicure purse and started working on my
foot nails. She picked all the tiny dirt's around my nails and filed my
brown nails till it became white. Nobody has ever done that for me in
my life. The sight of my white polished nails were unbelievable for me
because I have always believed they were naturally brown in color.
She advised me to always scrub my nails with sponge whenever I
bathe. She was so blunt and straight forward that the truth coming
from her out was piercing my heart.

I went home sad, rejected and depressed. I felt offended that she was
too harsh on me. I withdrew from someone that was willing to mentor
because I had an offensive heart. I judged her from the offences I had
in my heart; that nobody likes me. I didn't even appreciate all I
learned from her. She hurts me anytime she corrects me on something
I did wrong. Later I left the relationship with someone that is
passionate about seeing the best in me. I should have seen the
humility it took her to scrub my dirty foot, I was busy interpreting that
as rejection. Offensive heart makes me see offense in everything
including compliment, just the way it does for all her victims. It makes
one suspicious of love when one is suppose to enjoy love. It makes one
view friendly correction as rejection.

Everybody is careful around you because they don't want to offend

you.

When people post on social media you get offended, when someone
does something better than you, you get offended. I was in this
address for a longtime until the Holy Spirit addressed the issue in my
life.

How did it start? A lot of people had offend you in the past but you
didn't let it go, you meditate on their offences and it became a
stronghold in your life. After a while it shaped your heart and
becomes the perspective from which you see and judge everything and
everyone.

Can you be delivered from an offensive heart? Yes you can if you
want

Lately I was with my mentor and he asked me during an intense

discussion ‘am I too harsh on you’. I was surprised to find out I
wanted him to correct/ rebuke me more because I am no longer in
that
 address. I saw everything he was saying from the angle of love; that
he loves me and he wants the best from me.

So how can you be delivered? All you need is to follow this simple process.

The first step to take is what you just did by acknowledging that you need help and
not trying to justify yourself for being touchy (getting offended easily).

The second step is to sincerely tell the Holy Spirit to search your heart and reshape
your heart from every offense that kept clouding your judgment.

The third step is to forgive everyone that had offended you in time past; forgive
yourself for always making mistakes/ doing some silly stuffs that you think is
responsible for your present predicament. Forgive God for all the way you have
thought he was unfair to you, you may not understand why you went through what
you went through but be comforted that He loves you and has your best in mind, if
you will allow Him, He will work everything for your good. Forgive your parents
and others that needs your forgiveness. You may need to call some people and tell
them you have forgiven them

The forth step is read, study and meditate on the love poem(1cor13), insert your
name wherever you see the word love and make it into your personal confession.
That means where you have love is not easily irritated, you will say- I am not
easily irritated. Remember if you are a born again Christian the love of God has
been shed abroad in your heart so you are capable of loving, it’s your nature you
just have to allow it.

The next step is to do away with every friend that helps you in picking offenses

Lastly repeat all this step consistently because it is a process that may take time.
But the good thing is that; at last you will delivered from an offensive heart that is
targeted at destroying your life.

A good example of somebody that let go in the bible is Joseph. Offense will not
only harden ones heart it also make our life stink and smell, yes Joseph in the old
testament, he forgave his brother despite what they did.

Another example in the New Testament is prophetess Anna in the New testament,
she didn't allow offense despite losing her husband seven years after marriage even
though she was a virgin before marriage, one easy way to forgive is to pray for the
offender Just like Jesus did, You can't hold grudges and pray at the same time for
the same person, yes! You can try it

I pray for everyone with an offensive heart in this group that the HOLY
SPIRIT will help you to let go

In Jesus name.

And some people need to pray that God should search your heart and open your
eyes to offenses you harbor because some of us are not even aware. May God heal
every heart tonight in Jesus name.

THE FAILING HEART

The failing heart is represented with the seed that fell on the thorny ground. The
children of Israel in Old Testament were a good example of someone with a failing
heart. A failing heart is an unbelieving heart

Let me share a personal example of how God dealt with me in that regard:

After I finished my first degree in anatomy I couldn't proceed for my masters, not
because of money but majorly for two reasons. The first reason was — I don't
know what course to do for my masters that will be in line with my passion and I
would be able to make the profit I desired. I already promised myself that I would
never do anything that is not relevant to my calling, gifting and purpose and since
I was yet to discover fully well where I fit in, and I believe I have wasted enough
time pursuing the irrelevant just because I wanted to keep up with the goons. So, I
had to wait till I got clarity.

The second reason was — I was afraid of failing, I was very brilliant in the
secondary school until I got admission into the university and the school system
started frustrating life out of me. By the time I was in 300level I had already lost
every confidence I had in myself. Yeah! My 100level was not bad until I got to
200level and Anatomy started dealing with me mercilessly.
To memorize anatomy terms was an issue, and biochemistry pathways were not
helping matters either. When I heard ‘E’ in biochemistry my friends would
congratulate me for the narrow escape. I prayed, read and cried to no avail till I
had a turnaround in 300level second semester. I got used to just getting by and
having a little result to show for my effort that I lost every sense for trying
anything new because of fear of failure.

Unfortunately even when I started excelling in my academic, failure had already

shaped my mind. After service, I became afraid of applying for big jobs because of
fear of failure/rejection. Failure became the first thing I think of when I saw any
opportunity.

This reflected in one of my interviews to the point that my interviewer asked me

why I thought I couldn't get to the peak of my clinical career. I had gone on and
told him how they started telling us from 200level that my course is not relevant in
Nigeria. Meanwhile, I used to defend my course before but I don't know when I
finally accepted their submission about the course I did for 5years with all my
efforts and still made me look like a failure. It was the mercy of God that got me
the job because my interviewer moved from interviewing me to building my self-
confidence on how brilliant I am and how relevant my course is before he finally
appointed me for the job.

When i couldn't get the break i desire after service, I prayed, fasted and sow seeds,
but God kept telling me that the solution to my problem was nothing but my mind.
Even then I did not understand what was wrong with me why I couldn't just get the
break I desired.

Until sometimes ago when the Holy Spirit started dealing with me on the failed
heart. This is one of the issues affecting a lot of Christians. One thing we all have
to be careful of when we encounter a temporary failure/rejection in life is not to
allow it to shape our mind so much so that we can no longer break forth from our
cocoon because of fear of failure.

Past experience is one of the things that makes people have a failing heart, you find
it difficult to believe God's word because of your experiences, you should not
lower the bible to fit into your experience instead you should increase your
expectations to fit into the word of God.
If you noticed that you are always afraid of trying something new, then you are
most likely struggling with a failing heart.

If you noticed that when you failed you are not disappointed, you subconsciously
expect to fail even before trying, then you are most likely dealing with a ‘failing
heart’.

If you find yourself disobeying every/most instructions from your mentor/coach

because you feel they don't understand how many times you have failed trying then
you are most likely dealing with a ‘failing heart’

This also affect relationships, when you meet a new person instead of you to open
up yourself to new opportunities, you are scared of giving it a chance because you
are afraid the relationship may fail just like every other relationship.

You are afraid of standing your ground in a relationship because your sense of
success is now attached to that relationship and you want to do everything to make
it work not minding loosing yourself in the process. That is why some people
endure an abusive relationship even when its obvious they ought to let go

It was obvious that he developed ‘a failing heart’ because when nothing

spectacular was recorded about him after the event. More so, the bible confirmed
that it was the news of Joseph being alive that revived his heart. That means
something went wrong with his heart after the demise of his son.

Everybody often starts out in life with a daring heart but as we approached
adulthood after failing in so many things, if care is not taken failure enters our sub
consciousness until it became a mindset. The annoying thing is that it doesn't just
stop you from thriving it also stops anybody around you that listen you from
succeeding because it’s contagious.

Key Word: Let me tell you something analysis will always lead to paralysis.

Stop negative analysis of the bible, in case you don't know in unbelief means you
are calling God a liar

That's why it is called the wicked heart of unbelief

Key Word: Negative analysis leads to paralysis.

It means you believe in human theories than you believe GOD's truth
Remember one of Jesus question was if He will meet Faith on earth

The next question is how I overcome a failing heart that has made me a failure just
because I had failed before.

You have to start receiving and believing the simplicity of the word

First, you have to change your perception about failure, how do I mean? I will use
the law of polarity to explain this. Law of polarity states that there are two sides to
a thing. That is if there is outside then there is inside, if there is a front then there is
a back that mean whatever is very good can be very bad and whatever is very bad
can be very good. That means if you have been viewing the negative side of your
experience, you need to change your perspective, and start seeing it from the
positive side.

Generally, there is no one that has never encountered failure in life but the different
is in how we perceive it. For instance God of the universe created the devil and
lifted him so much that he became one of the archangels, but he rebelled against
God and there was war in heaven, and God pushed the devil down to the earth
along with other rebellious angels.

Yes, the devil lost his position, but it affected other creation of God which was the
reason the earth was void and without form in Gen 1:2. If men were to look at that
they are most likely going to view it as a failure, something like ‘why did I
empower devil so much? I should have known that he is a rebel. I created this earth,
how come it is now void and without form and covered with darkness? Why can't
my spirit that is hovering the face of the earth change the darkness to light?’
Instead, he saw it as an opportunity to create a new earth.

He started calling forth things that be not, and they started appearing. At the end of
the day, nothing was a waste because light came forth even in that darkness. The
same thing when Jesus couldn't do much miracle in his place of birth. Instead of
him to start thinking his ministry was a failure, he picked a lesson from there that it
was their unbelief that prevented him from doing much. Even when it looks there
is nothing positive, the lesson learnt is enough positive that can make you a
blessing to others and save you from future pain.
Secondly, expose yourself to new opportunity. The first step to take here is to
expose yourself to the word of God. In case you don't know which scripture of the
bible to hang on.

Have got a word of God for you tonight, which is from the book of Is a 43: 18-19,
the Lord told me to tell you that ‘you should remember not the former things, don't
consider the things of old. Behold, I(Lord) will do a new thing; now it shall spring
forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in
the desert. Keep meditating on this word because your story is the next success
story that the world will hear about. The next step on exposing yourself is to begin
to expose yourself to real life opportunity so that another image can be formed in
your heart.

Here, I will use the story of Abraham, after God told him he would have a child, he
had to take him outside to count the number of the stars that were to create an
image of his next break because of the failure in childbearing that has dominated
his heart. You can do that by using the picture of those that have the break you
desire to create an image of your own break. That means you have to stop
criticising successful people because doing that will make it impossible for you to
see yourself in their successful position.

The third thing to do is to confront your fear by trying new thing. Trying new
thing has the capacity to increase your chances of succeeding. But you must make
sure you take it one step after the other by starting from your smallest fear for
instance I started by going to swim, I moved to posting on social media (because I
used to be afraid of posting on social media). You have to keep doing this regularly,
this year alone I have tried more than 5things I have never done before and I
succeeded in all of them.

Don't forget to stop setting unachievable goals. Because, in doing that you have
already set yourself up for failure. Remember there is a big difference between a
prayer point and a goal. For instance preaching the gospel can be a goal while
winning a soul is a prayer point because the later involves other factors apart from
you.

Also don't make what supposed to be a long-term goal a short term one. Imagine
God making the plan of redemption a short term goal. Great things take time, so
don't be in a rush. Instead, concentrate on doing small things consistently by the
time you do it for a long time it has the magic of making you a success effortlessly.

Remember seven times a righteous man falls, he will rise again. So arise and shine
for your light as come

Bible. James 1:21: Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness,
and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.

How many people here thinks they are hearing this message for somebody, if you
think you are hearing this message for somebody then you probably have an
unrepentant heart. Even me that God is using to preach this message am hearing it
for myself too because an unrepentant heart is another dangerous place to be. It's
still part of the seed that fell on a thorny ground. An unrepentant heart has
destroyed a lot of minister, when God speaks to them and they think is a message
for the church

RIGHT KIND OF HEART

That is talking about the seed that fell on a good ground characteristics of the right
kind of heart

A compassionate heart ( a heart that empathize and forgives) Jesus is a great

example of this he was able to do many miracles of earth because he was and
compassionate and not judgemental critical like most of us an humble
heart(broken, contrite and repentant)

David is an example for that despite being a king and warrior he never at any time
lift himself beyond the word of God

Isa 57:15 and Isa 66:2 is a good reference point for that

A courageous and confident heart

David still an example

A WISE HEAT

A wise heart is a heart that fears God because the fear of God is the beginning of
all wisdom. Joseph is an example of a man with a wise heart because he fear God
even when there was no reward. The sin of the heart is a terrible sin because God
looks at our heart so we must be care flu and make sure our heart is right with
GOD

Bible. 2 Chronicles 16:9: For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the
whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect
toward him. Herein thou hast done foolishly: therefore from henceforth thou shalt
have wars.

While we all seek God ,God is seeking those whose heart is right meanwhile the
eye and the ear is the major gateway to our heart so to have a perfect heart we need
to guard our eyes and our ears

I pray that God will purge our heart

If nobody is telling you the right thing use your mouth to confess the right thing to
yourself…

Read the bible and books that will help your

heart Listen to messages that will help your heart

Stop reading the news every time if you don't want to be negative. (Note I
didn't say we shouldn't listen to news!) but make sure is not the first thing
you do and not the last thing you do everyday

Meditate on the word of God not on your problems

Bible. Philippians 4:8: Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever
things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure,
whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any
virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

You are a product of your thought because as a man think in his heart so is he.
 Think majorly about your past and you become stuck
  Think majorly about your strength and people's praise and you become
proud

 Think majorly about your weaknesses, mistakes and failings and you
develop low self esteem

 Think majorly about your friends you become judgmental/critical or fall

into comparison mode and become envious
 Think majorly about politics and you become hopeless and
discouraged

 Think majorly about news and you become fearful and depressed

 Think majorly about your future and you become worried and anxious

 Think majorly about your problems and you become doubtful

 Think majorly of what people says and you become indecisive and
unstable

prayerful,
Think majorly on your vision/purpose/life goals and you become more
disciplined and have more strategies

cheerful
Thinks majorly about your testimonies and you become more thankful and

wiser
Think majorly of the word of God and you become hopeful, full of faith and

 Think majorly of Jesus and you become more humble and anointed
optimistic
Think majorly on God and everything becomes possible and you become

I pray that more than what has been shared the HOLY SPIRIT Himself will
give us understanding and help us to be doers of his word in Jesus name