Nguyen Khanh Quang Vinh - Portfolio Writing Task 2 - 2nd Draft

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School of Languages & English

Advanced: Reading & Writing

Writing Feedback Cover Sheet 2: SECOND DRAFT

Student
Name: Nguyen Khanh Quang Vinh S3891972
number:
Writing and
Mr Cipho 24/3/2021
Class: Reading Teachers: Date:
Word
631
Count:

Click on the box to ☒ Changes I made after feedback:


cross it
I have used Arial. ☐ Response - ideas ☐
I have used font size 12 ☐ Organisation ☐
I have double spaced ☐ Grammar ☐
Vocabulary ☐

Student self – assessment: Select Good OK or need to improve for each area

Response & Revision Grammar


A full description Click here to select Range of structures Click here to select

Correct sentence
Used teacher Click here to select
structure, subject Click here to select
feedback to improve verb agreement
and punctuation
Structure & Planning Vocabulary
Logically ordered,
cohesive (linking Click here to select New vocabulary Click here to select
words, pronouns)
Made and followed a Click here to select
Spelling & Word Click here to select
plan. Forms

I confirm this is my own work……………………………………………………


School of Languages & English
Advanced: Reading & Writing

Name Nguyen Khanh


Quang Vinh
Student Number
s3891972

Public Place

There are a lot of public place around ho chi minh city, but the place that I visit the
most is Ho Xuan Huong sport center. It locate in distrist 3 which very near my
house, this Is the place that I spent most of my time practice basketball, recover
after my surgery. Althought is already very attractive to people live in the area but I
also thing that it can improve to make the center more appealing.

Ho Xuan Huong basketball stadium is the home court for HCM citywings, it have
been our home for 4 years, at first the quality of the stadium is very good . For
years without any maintenance the court is now terrible. In the last 3 month the
temperature of the court have been increase, the heat in the court is so
uncomfortable beside that the facilities of the stadium like basket, seat, even
marker for practice were being lost. This is the big problem that the team manager
should solve it because it effect the player badly. I think they should spent more
money and attention to the stadium, big tourment is coming up but with this
facilites is not good for the team practice.

The center is locate in very crowded distrist, this is the place where big event took
place, beside basketball event they were tennis and taekondo event also took
place here. Ho Xuan Huong is not a very big center so that the parking area is not
very large , when we have an event it tooks us an hours to get out of the center,
for example is the last VBA game took place here , its took the team 2 hours to get
the last person to go home, the parking area have only oneway in and oneway out
also the management of those area is not good they let the guest park their vehicle
whever they like. I think this is the small problem that they can fix to help the
center users not to get stuck for hours just because of the bad management and
inadvertent of the stuff in parking area. The solution of this problems is take back
the area that they give to cafeteria and tranning the stuff to run the parking better.

Coach and staff is very important for evaluate a good of bad sport center, like I
already mention this is the complex center which take basketball at the main sport,
with a lot of facilites supporting this sport like gym, recovery center. Althought
being the main focus one but the coachs and staff is not enough to run the team.
For basketball there are 3 teams of city practice in the center, youth team, VBA
team and u23 team. In the last 2 years we share the same court, coaches, with
minimal staff around 3-5 for 3 teams. Dispite the quantity of coach and staff the
quality of those is not at the highest level, this is very solid problem that we can not
School of Languages & English
Advanced: Reading & Writing

solve, beside the quality , salary is also one of the problems is stuff and coach
when for some person sacrifites so much for the team but earn not thing near their
recognition they should have. I personaly think that they should recuit more staff,
asking the player what they need to play as the best, focusing more and spent
more attentiong to injury to players. Those are the think that is very crucial to
Basketball teams and the centers.

For conclutions, the center will stand for along time where all sport event in district
3 took place, it already very atracttive to young people who injoy sport, I belive that
those are some criteria that the center could improve to make it more appealling.

Word
631
s:

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