 Buddhist guidance to select the right partner & to have a

happy marriage

1) Before marriage its important to keep your both eyes open and after marriage
keep one eye closed.

2) Couple should not look at one another, but should look together at common
goal. Don’t make someone the centre of your life, make only the Gohonzon
the centre of your life.

3) It’s very important not to lose sight of pursuing your own personal
development. Live your life to the fullest.

4) Your Ultimate goal is to attain Buddhahood.

5) If you are neglecting the things you should be doing, forgetting the purpose in
life then you are on a wrong path.
6) Love must be a positive impetus in your life. Love must not make you weaker
or make you suffer.

7) Its important for you to become strong, because when you are strong, then
even your sadness will become the source of nourishment, and things that
make you suffer will purify your life.
8) There are two kinds of happiness;- Relative and absolute happiness. It’s
important to seek absolute happiness.

9) Nobody else can make you happy or unhappy, because then that means you
are making the person the centre of your life and that’s a Huge Responsibility
to put on another person. The Gohonzon should be centre of your life. Eg:
Even on the Gohonzon, NAM-MYO-HO-RENGE-KYO is written down the
centre, and every thing else is written on the side of Nam-Myo -Ho Renge
Kyo on the Gohonzon. Similarly in our lives, the Gohonzon should be in the
centre and our relationships, career and everything else should be on the
side. Then we can attain true, lasting happiness.

10)We should not be affected by the UPS and Downs of our Life. We cannot
develop in a Vacuum; we can’t develop in a static state. We need difficulties
and challenges to manifest our Buddhahood and forge our character. It’s
important to be calm and serene and have confidence in the Gohonzon.

11)Have the attitude,” I am practicing to the Gohonzon so how can I fail to attain
Happiness??” Keep faith! ! Pray to the Gohonzon to be able to Judge things
wisely.
12)You may be chanting for the perfect man, but then he may be looking for the
perfect woman. Chant,” I want to get married to a person through whom I can
really develop myself and we can contribute to others as a couple, a man
whom I like and my parents like.” But this doesn’t mean that he has to chant
 as well or he is wrong for you.

13)Dialogue is a Must:-
Physical (Beauty)-You like him and he likes you.
Material (Benefit)-The abilities, talents, and education, social standings a
person has.
Goodness (Good)this marriage should be good not only for him, or me but for
many other people.

14)As a couple we should be able to contribute more.

15)We must expand each other’s mission rather than narrowing it.

16)How to know that he is right for you?

17)You like him, he likes you, commitment is involved, and parents are
supportive and happy about your relationship. It’s ok if the siblings oppose the
relationship, but don’t make your parents unhappy. Parents do not need to
wildly ecstatic about him, but they must be positive. Now you need to decide
whether you want to get married to him or not.
18)Remember, all obstacles are there to make a person chant more. Its
important to see things in positive way. Don’t chant in Low life condition, but
instead see things, from a higher, more positive perspective.

19)Have the attitude: Through this challenge I am going to become stronger in

faith and have a happy marriage. If something goes wrong then we should not
get scarred by it and crushed by our circumstances.

20)Remember there are no guarantees in life. We should do out Human

revolution in both good times and bad times as Human Revolution is the
essence of our practice. Use the victories of the present as momentum for
your future victories.

21)Either way you must continually advance as their will always be good or bad
things happening to you. Nothing is forever! We can’t hold to anything or
anyone forever. Don’t be a slave to your emotions.
22)But just because you are chanting doesn’t mean that you need to be as cold
as a stone either. Example, look at Sensei, he chants and he a warmest,
friendliest person. The important thing is when something goes wrong, how
fast can we bounce back to a higher state?
23)When you need to explain to your partner or his family about your practice,
please be wise. You could say, ” I m doing something that has really helped
me to improve myself. I have been able to change myself into a better human
being through this and it has given me a strength and wisdom to overcome
many problems. Because of the regular morning and evening Gongyo
Daimoku and the meetings that I attend, I am becoming a better person a
happier person. OR you could say, “My practice helped me find you” When
you use your wisdom and say this then why should anybody object. But if in
spite of suddenly enshrining your Gohonzon at your partner’s home, going out
for many meetings and according to them you are doing this strange
 Japanese prayer that they don’t understand every morning and evening and
all this is making no difference to your life. You are still an unpleasant person
or are perhaps getting worse as a person then obviously people will object,
make fun and criticize your practice. It all depends upon you eventually!!

24)To sacrifice our faith and practice for anything is wrong. We need to have
very strong feelings about our practice, otherwise it’s like ordinary stones for
precious stones or Expensive rice for mud.

25)When you feel that your prayers are not getting answered by a certain
deadline or date that you have set then please trust the Gohonzons sense of
timing, provided you are doing your best in your faith, practice and study.
Don’t just passively wait for your prayers to get answered but instead
CREATE CAUSES. Don’t leave any stone unturned in faith, practice and
study.

26)Remember that emphasis is onA Happy Marriage and not Just a Marriage to
only that person that you have in your mind.  May be he isn’t the right person
for you. Trust the Gohonzon.If your partner refuses to commit then that
means the there is lack of good fortune in your life and you need to
accumulate much more good fortune. You need to polish your life and change
your karma more due to the lack of good fortune.

27)Famous Gosho Quote,” A woman will die for a man, A man will die for his
Honor, but none of them will die for Buddhism, so no wonder they do not
attain Buddhahood”.

28)Shortcut to your happiness:  Follow the Gosho and Sensei’s Guidance

blindly. It is necessary to go through sufferings to become Compassionate.

29)Spirit of Bodhisattvas:What is the use of getting enlightened if I can’t help

others get enlightened.

30)What are the causes you need to make?

31)HAVE  FAITH AS  POWERFUL AS  SUN  THAT  IT  ILLUMINATES 

EVEYTHING.
Eg: Stars are still there in the sky during the day time, but the sun’s rays are
so powerful that the stars don’t show up and loose their power, similarly liken
stars to your problems sadness in life and Sun to your faith.

32)Be a part of SGI Movement:

33)What kind of report we can make to the Gohonzon and Sensei about our
victories and about how much we have contributed to kosen rufu? How many
people have we made happy?

34)use your Karma to work for kosenrufu. Make your Karma into your mission
35)Don’t see your Karma as something bad, but instead use to show people the
Gohonzon`s power.

36)Don’t pay much attention to karma but pay more attention to mission

37)We have to show people that we can overcome our karma through our faith.

38)Remember Buddhism equals winning! Through making causes we have to

overcome our Karma and transform our unhappiness into Value creation.

39)We should continue to pray till our prayers are answered. In case of delay in
your prayers getting answered, please be convinced that your prayers will be
answered in an even bigger way then you can ever imagine. For a happy
marriage you need to accumulate a lot of good fortune, which will happen in
proportion to the extent you exert yourself in faith, practice and study.

40)Keep Nichiren Daishonin and 3 President of SGI as your ideals. After all they
are also Human Beings who have gone through so much and overcome all
their sufferings, challenges, problems and won and created value out of every
situation. Please study their lives!!!

41)Lastly, please remember in case of arranged marriage if it turns out that your
parents like the person and you don’t like him/her then its ok for you to
decline from marriage, as it’s eventually your life.

42) You are marrying the guy/girl and you will be living with him/her for rest of
your life. Parents know the best, but the Gohonzon is also your parent.
Please chant for the best solution, decision and happiness for all of you.