dakeirhtnanbe

Editor-In-Chief & eufnaheyahdneiehen

ytodpdjebaotjeo
Divination Dept Head The Editors Deskq
Starflashfairy

h e E d i t o r ’s D e s k
Gryffindor Managing Editor

NDoraTonks
T
Hufflepuff Managing Editor
L-ily
Greetings, dear Readers!
The Quibbler! We’re back
Ravenclaw Managing Editor
ar! We lco me to the Winter 2021 edition of one year
Eldis_ Happy Ne w Ye
tha n eve r. Th is, ou r 18th issue, marks the end of
and we’re big ger and better one.
pefully much better) new
Slytherin Managing Editor
and the beginning of a (ho
Im_Finally_Free
ak up.
that I use this time to spe
Production Manager I feel that it is necessary
che, and loss. I would like
enced much tragedy, hearta
KackelDackel
we ’ve exp eri
Over the pas t yea r, the world. More than 1.5
on the lives that were lost in
Production Assistants
to take a mo me nt to reflect cribe the weight of this
VID-19. Words cannot des
Anne_Seelman
million people died of CO a mo me nt of silence in their hono
r. It’s not
Permagrinfalcon d, we wil l tak e
loss. So instea
we can do.
enough, but it’s the least
PocketPropagandist
strikeblazer

Web-Wizard [Silence.]
Oomps62
Thank you.
Archives
s handled well,
wiksry say that this pandemic wa
I would like to be able to g thr ough my
h a thing I would be lyin
but let’s face it; to say suc in my govern-
say that I am disappointed
Payroll
Marx0r teeth. As an American, to t wa s in pla y was not
ent. The administration tha
ment is a huge understatem sonally fee l con fid ent that
Art Dept Head
to han dle thi s and tha t is a devastating blow. I per g my fai th in
equipped I am puttin
SinsationalDoom
adm ini str atio n to com e will be up to the task and ssi ble mi sgi vings.
the new e their po
pe my fel low Am eri can s will do the same, despit on ly as str on g as
them. I ho “We are
us Dumbledore once said,
Castles & Burrows Dept Head
blxckfire to ban d tog eth er. As Alb mo re tha n eve r.
We need ited now
ited , as we ak as we are divided.” We need to be un do es.” Th e tim e has
we are un it when it
Classifieds
d pu t it, “W hat com in’ will come, an’ we’ll meet a ma sk wh en you
As Hagri possible. Wear
L-ily
d. Stay home as much as best of
come to do what you’re tol r dis tance from others to the
ou t. Wa sh you r han ds regularly. Keep you
Crafts, Brews, & Hobbies Dept Head must go
eful. And be responsible.
Mathias_Greyjoy
your ability. Be safe. Be car
at platforms we have while
Dark Arts Dept Head
for allo win g me thi s soapbox. We must use wh
VinumCupio Thank you
us.
we have them available to
erful contributors. I hope
nt content from our wond
Divination
of exc elle
Flabbergasted_Rhino
This editio n is cho ck- ful l . Thanks for continuing
din g it as mu ch as we enjoyed creating it for you
you enjoy rea
Education Dept Head ssible.
Starboost3 to make the Quibbler po
you !
Entertainment Dept Head May Fortune smile upon
silvertail8

Fashion Dept Head

~Madam Starflash
XanCanStand Editor-in-Chief

Magical Plants & Creatures Dept Head

Oopdidoop

News & Features Dept Head

CynicForever7

Sports Dept Head

Macallion

Travel Dept Head

mrsvanchamarch
 An Apology and a Correction:
In our Fall 2020 edition, an article titled “WizCARDS: A
New Sport Comes to Hogwarts” was published and incor-
rectly credited to /u/Silvertail8 of Slytherin. The actual
writer was /u/mjenious of Ravenclaw. Our editorial and
production team would like to issue a formal apology for
this mistake and assure everyone that our team is work-
ing hard to ensure that this sort of thing will not occur in
future. We’re sorry, MJ!

THE QUIBBLER: NO. 34862 WINTER 2021

THIS ISSUE OF THE QUIBBLER WAS CREATED, WRITTEN, PRODUCED

AND REVIEWED BY THE HOGWARTS STAFF AT /R/THEQUIBBLER.
THIS ISSUE FEATURES ARTICLES THAT EXPOSE THE TRUTH. SELLING
OVER 1,500,000 COPIES WITH OVER 29,000 DIFFERENT ISSUES, WE ARE
THE WIZARDING WORLD’S ALTERNATIVE VOICE AND REASON SINCE
1989. WE THANK YOU FOR READING AND PURCHASING OUR SMALL
INDEPENDENT NEWS MAGAZINE

4
 Welcome to OUR BRAND NEW
issue of the Quibbler. Below is an
overview of everything you can
find in this All new edition of the
Quibbler! We hope you find the
experience Both enlightening and
entertaining!

THE BIGGEST STORIES FROM THE

FRONTPAGE:
50 Anonymous Students Tell All:
The Secrets and Lies of the Hogwarts Houses

130 Sacred XXVIII Dissolved;

Amnesty for Voldemort’s Supporters at Last

158 Marten Anvelos, King of Swivenhodge

A true underdog story

jfjsdjwfksfkljklwenjkfnzwdiewghiorndgknakflenifnsdnakhwroiuwehdnmd,

BREAKING NEWS:
jfjsdjwfksfkljklwenjkfnzwdiewghiorndgknakflenifnsdnakhwroiuwehdnmd,
Castles and Burrows. .............................. 06
Crafts, Brews, and Hobbies. ................... 09
Dark Arts................................................. 22
Divination................................................ 26
Education. ............................................... 47
entertainment......................................... 56
fashion....................................................
magical plants & Creatures.................. 120
News and Features................................ 130
Sports. .................................................... 146
Travel......................................................161
Winter Art Wall................................... 165
Horoscopes. ........................................... 188
Classifieds.............................................. 189
100 Auror Logs..............................................190
Credits. .................................................. 192

STAFF: qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnmzaqxswcdevfrbgtnhyjukiloppknvgyedslieh
Editor-In-Chief: Starflashfairy Managing Editors: Im_Finally_Free, L-ily, NDoraTonks, Eldis_
Administration: Marx0r, Oomps62, Wiksry Layout and Design: KackelDackel, Anne_Seelman,
Permagrinfalcon, PocketPropagandist, strikeblazer Art: Sinsational Doom Castles & Burrows: blxckfire Classifieds: L-ily Crafts, Brews, &
Hobbies: Mathias_Greyjoy Dark Arts: VinumCupio Divination: Flabbergasted_Rhino Education: Starboost3 Entertainment: silvertail8
Fashion: XanCanStand Magical Plants & Creatures: Oopdidoop News & Features: CynicForever7 Sports: Macallion Travel: mrsvanchamarch
Contributors: 29925001838369, 7ustine, A_Syed_07, Anne_seelmann, Applewinters, Blackhammer3333, CosmicNonagon, CreativeChaosss, CynicForever7, Daniel, But I Dont Have A Reddit Account,
Deathstar1310, Demi_fighter, Eldis_, GamingBeagle, HermioneReynaChase, Hogwartsgrfindor, Icantreachtheoctave, Im_Finally_Free, Imprimis5, Jamsin_11, Jinxedkittyz, KackelDackel, Kenzlepuff , KingofCool328,
L-ily, Laughterislouder, LilyLunaP, Ljosastuar5, Meddleofmycause, Milomi10, Mjenious, Mundungousfletcher , Mylifeambitiom, New_girl2, Newgirl, Oomps62, Owlnightcoffee , Permagrinfalcon,
PingcarGaming, PingCarGaming, ProudRavenclaw24 , PseudoCow, Pseudocow, QueenCherry24, Res30stupid, Rhia1, Ria_dove, Rowdy_mouse, Silvertail8, SinsationalDoom, Sinsationaldoom, Skilik,
Starflashfairy, The_Architecht_Nurse, Tipsytippett, U/PingCarGaming, V391Pegasi, Victoire_delecour, WizKvothe, XanCanStand, ZestyXdEpArTuRe

5
QUIBBLER CASTLES AND BURROWS

Traditionally
a literal kiss bestowed
from the oldest memb
er of
e highly
the household to the for
re d m ead ar ehead of the
tu
oak-ma k like in
youngest, this blessing
ho t m ugs of d o e s this loo is represented in
r and but wh
at
, we've modern times by a brigh
lly chee eason, answer tly-lit star-shaped
Holly jo lid a y s o u t he
the ho o get y ays candle which is lit at the
cent of home? T rking d beginning of the
reminis or w iz a r d 's
ra in five wo
witch the pou
rin g tled, last day of the year and
h e av erage lle y in v e ry disgrun celebrated when
t nA 's a
in Diago ; there ed ever
y
t oo d outside h o ne st here and poll
it goes out at the strok
e
s rf e ct ly h er e )
be pe mew eir top
w (we'll lace so ll us th
of midnight. Although
in a ro a b o u t the p t o te
nocking hen ask
ed
tern k ross. W
it has caused several
soggy in m e a c
is the
result:
e n w e 've co , h er e fires in recent years,
itiz ion s
willing c ecorat
oliday d
ail8
ee h
t
t hr this problem has not
y : S ilver
B deterred many of the
more stalwart decorator
s. 88 of
our polled witches an
d wiz-
ards decorate their home
s
with this holiday class
ic.
Truly a
76
wizarding classic,
witches and
of our 100 polled
eir homes with
wizards decorate th
g and 2 secretly
a replica Dragon Eg
ey use a real one.
implied to me that th
h century, this tra-
Dating back to the 5t
g good
dition is said to brin
kissed
luck to those who
ar-
the egg either upon
departure.
riving home or upon
tradition
The origins of this
d and the
are greatly dispute
more so.
results are even
g by the
Even so, a dragon eg
d most
hearth is our first an
popular decoration.

6
 INSERT QUIBBLER

Despite the accu-

sations of rampant
infestations of Nargles,
this questioningly romantic tra-
dition persists in a whopping 90 homes
out of the 100 witches and wizards we
polled! Many find it to be a funny, quirky
tradition but most this year are putting
it up out of nostalgia for the
days when humans could
get close enough to stand
beneath such a spring to-
gether. Beyond the danger
of Nargle attacks, Mis-
tletoe is also famous for
bringing the user unwant-
ed attention. Why anyone
would want this leaching
plant in their home is
anyone's guess but
there we have it.

Is there a wizarding decoration you didn't see on our Top 3 Decorations

list? Good! We didn't think there were just three. Owl in your list of
decorations for a chance to win your very own Sprig of Mistletoe1 !

Any injuries or diseases contracted after the placement of this Mistletoe in your home is completely coincidental. By accepting the prize of your Sprig of Mistletoe,
1

you accept all liability from any possible injuries or diseases and agree not to sue The Quibbler. Good luck.

7
QUIBBLER INSERT

HOUSEWARMING
I cradled my first newborn to sleep
Humming a lullaby, hoping she’d smile back at me
Holding back tears of joy and pride as her father embraced us tightly
Everything was falling in place
The baby’s room was full of light and comfort
With paintings of fairies
To teach her to chase her dreams
And a large poster of my husband’s favourite Quidditch team
Which arrived only after pleading me for days to put it up

When she starts crying, my heart starts pounding

For I want to protect her from everything
I want to shield her from all harm
I want to be the umbrella that covers her from the rain
The tree which offers shade on a hot day
The fire that warms hearts when a chilling wind passes by
I didn’t know I was capable of so much emotion
And instead of it breaking me into pieces
It uplifts me and engulfs me in an ocean of happiness

I take her to the backyard everyday

And see her face light up at the bright flowers
Sometimes she tries to catch butterflies
Then realises her tiny hand can only clutch so much
I feel like I’m losing her at times though
Every dawn is one day closer to when she’ll leave our home
And go off into the wilderness we call life
But my husband constantly reminds me
To make the best of everything
And be happy that we have a home we can call our own
And a daughter who’s more beautiful than anyone we’ve known

Sometimes I just say a silent a prayer to someone greater than me

And thank my stars
For giving us our daughter
Who is a fierce force of nature
Along with a wish that she is always safe
That she will survive
That she too will find joy in her own way
If life tries to batter down her home
May she withstand it all
And be gifted with the power to do so

My prayers are never ending

I just want her to be safe
I don’t know how much we can give her
Since we’ve given everything we ever had
And I’m afraid we might run out
And she won’t get what she truly deserves
Whatever may happen, I hope I can be there for her
Always and forever

Written by
Milomi.

8

Are You Brave Enough To
Bake These Holiday Sweets?
Homemade Peppermint Patties
These Peppermint Patties are so good people in
every house will be talking about them. All you
need is:
• ¼ cup softened butter
• ⅓ cup light corn syrup
• 1-2 tsp peppermint extract*
• 3 cups powdered sugar
• 2 cups dark dipping chocolate**
• Chocolate jimmies/sprinkles (in the US)
1. Combine your butter, corn syrup, peppermint
extract, and
powdered
sugar in a "Come on, cheer up, it's
mixing bowl.
Mix until in- nearly Christmas."
gredients are
combined and -Hagrid
hold together.
2. Remove your
dough from the bowl and break off a small
section, about 2 teaspoons. Roll your section
into a ball and gently flatten it with your hands
(but don’t flatten all the way). Once you fin-
ished making your patties put them on a pan
lined with wax or parchment paper. Place
them on a pan, and into the freezer for about
10-15 minutes.
3. Melt your dark chocolate in the microwave for
about a minute, twenty seconds (1:20). Let it
sit in the microwave for about a minute. Once
you take it out of the microwave gently stir
it. Remove your peppermint patties from the
freezer. Take a fork or a dipping tool and dip
your patties in the chocolate.
4. Store in an airtight container. Refrigerate if
necessary.
*add 1 teaspoon peppermint extract and then mix
until the dough is combined. Taste the dough and
add more extract until you get it to your tasting.
**Dipping Chocolate works best.
CRAFTS, BREWS, AND HOBBIES QUIBBLER
Peppermint Bark
This Peppermint Bark is so good, and might even
make Slytherins nice! It makes about 12 serv-
ings, and is really easy to make, all you need is:
• 12 oz. semisweet chocolate, chopped
• 12 oz. white chocolate, chopped
• 1/2 tsp. peppermint extract
• 8 candy canes, crushed
1. Line your baking sheet with some parchment
paper. Fill a large pot with about 3 inches of
water and simmer on medium heat. Reduce
the heat to low
after boiling.
Place a heat-
proof bowl on
top of the pot.
Add your semi-
sweet choc-
olate and stir
occasionally
until your chocolate has melted. Stir in your
peppermint extract. Pour your mix onto the
prepared baking sheet and spread into an
even layer. Refrigerate until it sets (about 20
minutes), then remove and let sit.
2. Over the same pot of water, place yet another
large heatproof bowl. Add your white choco-
late and stir until it melts. Pour this mix over
your already made semi-sweet chocolate,
then top it with candy canes. Refrigerate until
it sets, another 20 minutes.
3. Remove from Refrigerator and cut into pre-
ferred pieces.
9
 QUIBBLER INSERT

By new_girl2

Want your room to reflect your Hogwarts

house? The candlelight of Gryffindor’s
common room against the warm shades
of red. Or the airy blue and bronze of
Ravenclaw is in your reach. And with the
Special Edition- options for muggles!
Read more to find out how to bring
Hogwarts into your home, starting
with the brave and chivalrous,
Gryffindor.

10
 INSERT QUIBBLER

Four poster beds are unique and hard to get. If you can't manage one, you’re done for.
I’m just yanking your wand! You can decorate your bed in other ways like a soft scarlet throw, or a
gold embroidered pillow. Emphasize your class with a silk pillowcase or a satin red and gold
canopy. Muggle malls offer throw blankets and pillows while beds can be bought at
a shop called “Ika”. Wait no, “Ikea”. Yes, that’s it.

11
 QUIBBLER INSERT

There are many options for lighting. For starters, just use your wand. Lumos! Or, as
an interesting muggle option, you can buy candles in bulk and use a levitation spell
on it. Wingardium Leviosa! That way, your room can look just like the Great Hall. You can
also simply lay them across bookshelves, dressers, and side tables. One popular muggle
product, fairy lights, can bring magic into your room! (Not literally.) Small crystal balls
that light up when plugged, and my husband Arthur’s favorite. “How marvelous!”
You can always follow Professor Flitwick’s small steps and use live fairies too.

12
 INSERT QUIBBLER

There are many decorations you can use, like a

miniature red model of the London Double Decker Bus,
or a gold rose from the Forbidden Forest. A small bottle of
Felix Felicis or some CornishPixies as a keepsake to put on your
dresser would look fascinating to family and friends, but read the Ministry
of Magic’s rulebook on Felix Felicis before getting any ideas! You can take some
origami paper and fold some Golden Snitches, and string them up into a garland. Place
a lion shaped alarm clock or a banner of Gryffindor. Pay the Chamber of Secrets a visit
and swipe a winged golden key- or go the muggle way and fish through your junk draw and
spray paint your house key. Don’t worry, you can always Alohomora your way back into the
house. Another trend muggles are caught on is creating signposts of their favorite places.
Get a couple of pieces of wood and paint your favorite magical world places like the
Burrow, Hogwarts, Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes, King’s Cross, Honeydukes,
and the list goes on! You can hang up paintings of your favorite
wizards and witches, or buy a Hogwarts poster from Etsy.
The choices are endless!

Send an owl to the Burrow if you have

any other suggestions!

13
 QUIBBLER INSERT

14
Souper easy & delicious

recipes to survive the winter

If you, like me, live in the northern hemisphere of this tiny blue planet, you have most likely spent
the last couple of months freezing and shivering and nestling next to the fireplace with a nice mug
of hot chocolate and a stack of blankets. Unless 2020 has thrown us yet another curveball, and
you’re reading this hanging by the pool and getting your tan on. Which, let’s face it, it wouldn’t be
the most surprising thing to happen that year. I’m writing this at the end of September, so there
are still three months of surprises ready to be discovered.

Regardless of whether you are wearing oversized sweaters or a bathing suit, what we truly
need in these times is comfort. And what is more comfortable than a nice bowl of home-made
soup? Soup is surprisingly easy to make and easy to adjust to taste. All of the following recipes
are completely vegetarian and vegan, as they all use a herb-based or vegetable-based broth.
However, you are free to use a meat-based broth if you prefer. Add meatballs or whatever you
wonderful carnivores do with your food.

For every single recipe you will need:

Ingredients: Supplies:
1 litre boiling water A big saucepan
Herb-based or vegetable-based stock powder, (as much A frying pan or wok
as the packaging says touse For your amount of water) Blender
Sunflower oil Something to stir with
Salt and pepper to taste

15
 SOUP
broccoli zucchini

ingredients
1 broccoli
1 zucchini
A handful of brown rice
1 small fist-sized yellow onion

directions
Cut and fry the onion.
Dice the broccoli and the zucchini
Briefly fry both the broccoli and
zucchini alongside the onion.
Add the onion, broccoli and zucchini
to the boiling water, alongside your
stock powder.
Add a handful of brown rice. pair with
Boil for 20-25 minutes.
Let cool, blend. A zucchini salad! Slice half
Add pepper and salt to taste. a zucchini using a cheese
slicer, and cut those slices
into spaghetti-like strands.
Quickly & carefully stir-
fry for 5-7 minutes, whilst
adding pesto and, in the
final three minutes, 2
quartered (or, depending on
the size, 1 cut into 8 pieces)
tomatoes. Add pepper and
salt to taste.

enjoy

16
 SOUP
carrot curry
ingredients
1 kg carrots
4 or 5 fist-sized yellow onions
A whole lot of curry powder
Chilli powder to taste

directions
Cut and fry the onions.
Add curry powder till all pieces of onion
have curry powder on them.
Put your onions in the boiling water, add
the stock powder to your water.
Let the water simmer whilst you cut up
the carrots. You might want to peel them
first by taking a small knife, holding it at
a 90-degree angle with the sharp edge
touching the carrot and rapidly - but
carefully - moving it up and down so you
rasp the peel off of the carrot.
pair with
Dice the carrots into medium-sized
Fries! I know, I always get weird
blocks.
looks when I tell people I eat fries
Once the carrots are cut, briefly fry them
as a side dish with my soup, but
in the frying pan and add curry powder
it’s absolutely delicious! Both soup
till all carrot pieces have curry powder
and fries are salty and starchy,
on them.
making it the perfect match. And
Add the carrot to the boiling water.
even though you’re eating fries,
Let simmer for 20-25 minutes, until the
you are still being super healthy,
carrots are completely soft.
since you’re drinking veggies! I
Let cool, blend.
usually bake some oven fries. Pro
Add chilli powder, pepper and
tip: instead of parchment paper,
salt to taste.
put your fries on aluminium
foil. Start baking them in
the bottom of your oven, and
halfway through the bake move
them to the top shelf in your
oven.

enjoy

17
 SOUP
pumpkin chestnut
ingredients
1 medium-sized butternut
squash
1 kg sweet chestnuts
One yellow onion

directions
Cut the butternut squash and remove the
seeds.
Dice the squash into medium-sized blocks.
Cut and fry one yellow onion.
OPTIONAL: if you want, you can roast the
squash before adding it to the soup. This is
not necessary, but go wild if you want to!
Cut crosses in the sweet chestnuts.
Microwave the chestnuts for about 4
minutes, if your chestnuts are larger you
might want to microwave them longer.
Using your oven? Preheat your oven to
200 degrees Celsius (390 Fahrenheit) &
roast them for 15-30 minutes. It really
depends on your chestnuts and your oven!
Keep an eye on them to see when they are
ready.
Peel the chestnuts - make sure you don’t
burn your hands! - and add them to the
boiling water, alongside the squash, onion
and stock powder.
Boil for 25-30 minutes.
Let cool, blend.
Add pepper and salt
to taste.
pair with
Some microwaved sweet chestnuts!
You can never have too many of
these delicious things. We have
quite a lot of sweet chestnut trees
where I grew up, and I have fond
memories of gathering them with
my mum (both of us wearing
rainboots so we could squeeze open
the prickly cupules or husks with
our toes), carefully carving crosses
in them and then roasting them
for ages in the oven. Afterwards,
we’d burn our fingers trying to peel
them whilst they were still warm!
Microwaving sweet chestnuts is a
much quicker way of roasting them,
and they turn out great.

enjoy

18
 SOUP
cauliflower leek

directions
ingredients
Cut the leek into rings.
1 cauliflower Dice the cauliflower.
1 leek Add the cauliflower and leek to the
A handful of brown rice boiling water, add the stock powder
Parsley to taste and brown rice.
Boil for 15-20 minutes.
Let cool, blend.
Add pepper, salt and parsley to
taste.

pair with
Spicy toast! Mix sunflower
oil, salt, pepper, chilli
powder and one clove of
crushed garlic. Stir and
spread on both sides of a
slice of bread, so the oil soaks
into it. Toast, enjoy! It tastes
delicious and will make your
house smell amazing as the
bread is toasting. Make sure
to clean the crumb-catcher
afterwards, as some of the
oil will drip down onto it.

enjoy

Written by Eldis_, illustrated by anne_seelmann

19
 QUIBBLER INSERT

20
INSERT QUIBBLER

21
QUIBBLER DARK ARTS

22

Dominating the World with
S.T.Y.L.E
It is well known that during
the years of 1991- 1997 there
has not been a time where a
Defense against the Dark Arts
teacher has been innocent of
an ulterior motive. From the
very beginning of the famous
Boy-Who-Lived’s schooling,
not one professor has taught
for the sake of teaching. It is
from a discussion with a toad
by the name ‘CroakCROAK’
or ‘Trevor’ that we have
started to dig into the
beginning of this conspiracy.
It turns out that while the
majority of the teachers’
associations were well known
(having consisted of only The
Dark Lord, The Minister, and
Dumbledore) we missed the
Crumple-Horned Snorkack in
the field, the Nargles in the
mistletoe, the gaping hole in
the pattern.
Every single teacher had a
society of some sort behind
them. Every teacher except
Gilderoy Lockhart. Which
begs the question, who
was the dazzling winner
of Witch Weekly’s Most
Charming Smile working for?
What secrets was he hiding
beneath his so perfect hair
and his swishy robes?
Well, Mr. Cheasley
Pimpernickle, the newest
placeholder of the very
same Most Charming Smile
award, points his finger at an
organization by the name of
S.T.Y.L.E.
“They came to me and
requested I would join them.
I asked what was in it for me.
They offered tooth whiteners,
the Darkest Arts you’d ever
learn, and the true secret to
how to work a robe.”
This quote from Mr.
Pimpernickle shines
some light on this new
organization. From just that
paragraph alone we can see
that S.T.Y.L.E also recruited
one deceased Severus
Snape, Albus Dumbledore,
and possibly even Dolores
Umbridge (who declined to
comment). Who else would
INSERT QUIBBLER
they have learned their
clothing styles from?
But this isn’t all. Why wasn’t
our former Dark Lord part
of the fray? He would have
enjoyed all aspects of the club
after all. Were he and the
head of S.T.Y.L.E estranged
lovers? Enemies perhaps?
Well, every single known
member of S.T.Y.L.E has
currently been defeated
in some way. Now, our
Dark Lord also fits the
requirements. This reporter
would ask him herself were it
not for the fact he is said to
have been ‘killed’.
That is what they want you
to think, my dear readers,
for our sources tell us that
the Dark Lord has currently
allied himself with the
infamous S.T.Y.L.E, and is
planning world domination
over tea and crumpets in the
Bahamas.
- written by victoire_delecour,
illustrated by anne_seelmann
23
DARK ARTS

YOUR FRIENDLY,
NEIGHBORHOOD DEMON

Written by Silvertail8, illustrated by anne_seelmann

W hat does a demon do to celebrate the winter

holiday season? Well, it depends entirely on
the tier. Some of us enjoy the delights of Bibbity-
Bobbity-Boo while others indulge in sugarplums and
similar candies. However, I'm entirely of the mindset
that the wonders of All Hallows Eve need not stop in
the face of pure, unadulterated, bliss. In fact, many
aspects of my favorite holiday suit winter just as well
as fall.
The donning of a costume works especially
in my favor around this time of year. Instead of
my usual glittering, glowing aura of doom, I get
my claws manicured and my horns buffed for the
demon-favored sport of ice hockey. There's nothing
quite like glamoring yourself for Muggles and the
like only to have the whole thing fall apart because
your claws weren't sharp enough to dig into their...
metaphorical hearts...
Although many of the elder demons
bemoan the disintegration of our culture, the
youngsters find the change in attitude rather
refreshing. Instead of tearing humans limb from limb
like in the late eighteenth century, demons are now
free to glamor themselves up, compete in human
sports, and even fall in love with the odd witch or
wizard (although this practice is still frowned upon
in many demon circles). While our parents and
grandparents complain about how the Statute of
Secrecy prevents them from directly contributing
to terrible events involving mass murder and the
destruction of entire nations, most demons born
past the nineteenth century are more than fond
of causing minor misunderstandings and rooting
heavily for their local ice hockey team.
This is why, in the dead of winter, you'll
find me geared up from head to toe in padding with
blades on my feet on a frozen pond rather than
shoving some unfortunate soul into a hole of the
same pond. The swoosh of cold air past my face and

24

the cheering of both my teammates and the crowd
when we score a goal can only be compared with
ripping out your first set of entrails and feasting on
them beneath the full moon.
Some may point out at this juncture that
ice hockey actually can become quite violent under
the right circumstances. They might even say that
the participating demons deliberately make barbed
remarks and trip opponents to trigger this violence.
To these naysayers, I say..."okay, you caught me."
As a being that feeds off of enmity and pain, I must
admit that demons receive visceral joy from these
kinds of clashes between humans. With that said,
most demons these days can get their fill of discord
and agony just by watching Muggle television. (For
those not aware of Muggle traditions, Muggle
television is a kind of visual radio that Muggles
broadcast from around the world for much the
same reasons as witches and wizards. There is also
the added benefit, for demons, of being able to see
the tears actually run down a person's face.)
What is my favorite show? It varies from
month to month but usually you can catch me binge
watching Muggle Korean Dramas, most reality
shows from the United States, and even a world
beauty pageant or two. I once tried to get into
watching animated shows as well (Muggles also
have a way of making moving art but it takes them a
considerable amount of effort) but the pain was just
too fake and I often get stomach aches just from a
few minutes of watching. I suppose I would liken
it to eating a cockroach cluster mixed with a sugar
quill. Sickeningly sweet but also with a strange
rotted flavor? Definitely not my cup of tea but I
know a few demons who are obsessed with the
stuff (the animated shows, not the terrible mixture
of sweets I just described for your benefit).
Can I eat normal food or must it always be
the heart or liver of a fresh doe? For the record, I've
never eaten the heart or liver of any deer, much less
specifically that of a fresh doe. When I first came
into the world, I had a taste for fresh tripe but have
since lost my appreciation for the delicacy. During
the holidays, if my family manages to get together,
I'll enjoy veal with them. I'm not especially proud
of it but it's simply too delicious to pass up. On
normal days throughout the rest of the year, I will
DARK ARTS
usually eat shepherd's pie, pudding, spaghetti, and
the usual carb-loaded goodness that witches and
wizards enjoy eating. It's not really good for me but
I haven't been able to kick the habit. Most demons
will eat the typical food made and eaten by witches
and wizards because it's just so darn delectable.
All of the grains aren't very good for our digestive
system though so it's better to pass on a plate of
pasta if at all possible.
What was all of that about demons falling
in love? Well, most of us will meet another wandering
demon at some point in our lives, fall in love, become
eternally bonded, and settle down (much the same
as witches and wizards). However, while it's very
common for a non-demon entity to fall in love with
a demon (what can I say, we're a charming bunch),
it's incredibly uncommon for a demon to find similar
love with a non-demon. This is particularly true,
although not unheard of, with witches and wizards
since we have a history of warring with them. Many
massacres in the past have either been chalked up
to demon interference or perpetuated by witches
and wizards on a "Demon Hunt". As a result, most of
us live very quiet lives on the boundaries of magical
communities.
How can you tell if someone is a demon?
The short answer is that you most likely can't. The
slightly longer answer involves an explanation of the
various concealing magical properties that demons
have in addition to their penchant for remaining
undiscovered. Although most witches and wizards
think that the showy, flashy people in their lives are
most likely to be demons in disguise, the truth is
often the opposite. The quiet, unassuming witches,
wizards, or "Muggles" around them are most
suspect because, as we've previously discussed,
there's nothing worse for a demon than being
found out by a witch or a wizard. The only reason
we're even discussing this now is because, through
owl, there's not much of a chance that you'll find
out who I am.
There's no cause for alarm though!
Demons, by and large, don't wish the community at
large any harm. So just think of us as your friendly,
neighborhood demons and it'll be best for everyone!
Don't overthink it...
25
QUIBBLER DIVINATION
Put your strand of hair in your partner's pre-
How to predict your pared cup of tea and try to decipher the

Gift?
shape your tea leaves make after your tea is
Christmas Gift? drained out.

Divination is a branch of magic often untrust-
ed by the greatest of wizards but what they
fail to see is the magic of seeing. Looking
through the stars or tea leaves or crystal balls
and predicting the unseen is not everyone
can do but restricted to only those having the
subtle art of seeing.
This Christmas Quibbler is all ready to docu-
ment the ways of predicting your Christmas
Gift which your most loved person in life will
present to you.
Your tea leaves will give you the shape of your
gift which your loved one will present to you
this Christmas. Be sure you prepare this tea
on 24th of December at 23:00 for the tea to
show effect.
Use your Crystal Ball and put it in front of your
cup of tea in case you fail to decipher the
shape of your gift via tea leaves. Concentrate
and look beyond your seer eyes and you will
find out the exact gift shown as twinkling in
your crystal ball.

The most famous Seer WizKvothe has pieced
together the art of predicting this unseen (For
a full list of WizKvothe's previous divination
works check out the witchly week maga-
zine and the highly acclaimed book "Seeing
through the Stars") knowledge on this very
Christmas month.
WizKvothe kindly hopes this Christmas will
bring joy to your family and you would be able
to predict your partner's Christmas gift via
this complex art of divination.
~WizKvothe
(Hufflepuff)

The author claims Neptune and Ura-

nus will be close to an Asteroid named
"Trickster" this month of December
which basically means "something
close to heart" in divination terms.
This points that the person may get
something close to their heart as a
gift of their Christmas.

Ask your special loved person to put

a piece of their soul in their brewed
tea with the magical Puffapod Tea
Leaves in it. Extracting a piece of
soul usually needs to commit mur-
der but because your loved one are
extracting their soul on their own
will, it will need a spell named "Sou-
lus Extractum".

26
 INSERT QUIBBLER

The Clouded Crystal

"Come a little closer," a breath upon the wind
Ice looms below us, creaking, breathing in
Not much we can say for now, just peek into the night
Dawns coldest breath does freeze frigidly on sight

"Your past is plain as day to me," a faded wheeze

We look shyly away, conscious of our sleeves
Dark and stormy are the pages of our hist'ry tomes
Full of forgotten secrets which whisper in our domes

"Still you seek your future," a long, bold stroke

The muddy canvas picture of our story still unwrote
Teases us beyond a veil of choices yet untook
Slyly they beckon onward, dangling golden hope

"Your destiny is clouded," a greedy, outstretched hand

Into which we place three galleons, one glittering band
Reluctant to part with treasure, yet yearning for more
With gold's sweet parting, we lean, backs to the door

"The path clears to your goal," a triumphantly, smug smile

We ignore this and stoke the coals, patience for a while
A flame we rear to burn the truth, to sear the very soul
Surely this is what we search for, that which they stole

"Again there are only shadows," a whisper very fast

Enraged we smash the glass, outraged by recent past
Nothing but destruction, overwhelmed by rage and fear
In the end we found naught, events impossible to steer

"Destinies are not held firm," a weak and trembling lip

At last a waver in demeanor, was it not a wasted trip?
The mighty may just yet atone, justice firm and just as slow
For terror wrought once long ago, bow at last, my mighty foe.
27
QUIBBLER INSERT

Do YOU have burning questions for our resident Seer and fairy, Madam Starflash? Got yourself in a
relationship with a Vampire and don’t know if it’s going to work out? Debating on using a love potion on
your biggest crush? Have a bully you’d love to get rid of?

Don’t hesitate to ask! Madam Starflash ALWAYS has the right answer for you! Contact her in Divination
Tower at /r/TheQuibbler now with your desperate questions!

2828
dskfmkmksdldfdklmsklfgmkldmsklmggdkmklgm
k l f s d l n f l k n w e k l n f k l s e n d f n s d k l n s f k f d s n f
Dear Madam Starflash,
There’s a boy I like. He hasn’t noticed me. So I wanted
to make him notice me. I may have decided to brew a
Swelling Solution to apply to certain… areas. My lips
mostly, and maybe a few other places here and there
that I thought might grab his attention. But I think
I must have added too many puffer-fish eyes or bat
spleens because now my lips are half the size of my
face! I have class with him after the Holiday break!
What do I do? More importantly, how do I make him
notice me?
Sincerely,
Swollen Student
Dearest Swollen,
He’s certain to notice you now. Luckily, this boy is
kind and good at potion-making. Ask him for help
with a Deflating Draught and you’ll be well on your
way.
May Fortune smile upon you!
----------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------
dskfmkmksdldfdklmsklfgmkldmsklmggdkmklgm
k l f s d l n f l k n w e k l n f k l s e n d f n s d k l n s f k f d s n f
Dear Madam Starflash,
The Muggles next door have some downright drea-
ry Christmas decorations. I have to look at them all
day, so I added a couple enchantments and charms to
make it dazzle a little, just for an hour. An atmospheric
charm here, a floating charm there, a sprinkle of pixies;
you get the idea. Well, their wee child caught my little
show and now she waits by the window day and night
for it to happen again. Now my view is the face of a
child with crushed hopes. How can I make it right?
Sincerely,
Decorating Disaster
Dearest Disaster,
You’re going to need to brush up on your Memory
Charms. Offer the girl some peppermint eggnog and
Obliviate her. Modifying her memory won’t be too
hard, as she’s young. You won’t even have to worry
about destroying precious childhood memories, as
she has no long-term memory yet! Just use caution
and be sure there’s no other witnesses. Otherwise the
Ministry may have to send in their own Obliviators.
May Fortune smile upon you!
----------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------
29
dskfmkmksdldfdklmsklfgmkldmsklmggdkmklgm
k l f s d l n f l k n w e k l n f k l s e n d f n s d k l n s f k f d s n f
Dear Madam Starflash,
I want to pursue my dream of becoming an actress,
but my mother doesn't agree. She is convinced I will
never get a job and be homeless the rest of my life. She
wants me to become a doctor, because of ''the great job
security''. I find medicine interesting, but I really want
to become an actress! When I told my mum I'd consult
you she said that you too would See only doom in my
future if I didn't pursue medicine. What should I do?
Sincerely,
A Struggling Chooser
Dearest Chooser,
Fame is fickle, so your mother has a point. Meeting
her halfway, however, is as simple as Bamboozling a
casting director. You just need to magically convince
him to cast you as a doctor in a movie, and you’re
living out both dreams at the same time. Beware,
though, as fame comes with a steep price: your pri-
vacy. However, it’s a better price than losing all your
free time like a real doctor. Trust me on this one, I’m
dating a doctor myself and he’s just so busy all the
time. But I digress. Think carefully when making this
choice. And remember, there’s always more options
out there!
May Fortune smile upon you!
----------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------
dskfmkmksdldfdklmsklfgmkldmsklmggdkmklgm
k l f s d l n f l k n w e k l n f k l s e n d f n s d k l n s f k f d s n f
30
Dear Madam Starflash,
My cat has been acting very distant lately! He doesn't
want to be pet or picked up and when I feed him he
only eats when I'm not in the room. Is it something I
said? Has he found someone else to take care of him?
Does he not love me anymore? Please, I need your
help!!
Sincerely,
F. E. Lis
Dearest F. E. Lis,
Your kitty is suffering from separation anxiety, de-
pression, and loneliness. It’s time to get him a girl-
friend. I highly recommend heading to the Magical
Menagerie and picking out a nice female Kneazle.
Be sure to give her a cute name and have her spayed,
and then introduce them in a neutral setting before
bringing her into the house. Now your cat will have
a companion when you’re not around, and both of
them will show you how much they love you by me-
owing at five in the morning, begging for food.
May Fortune smile upon you!
----------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------
 dskfmkmksdldfdklmsklfgmkldmsklmggdkmklgm
k l f s d l n f l k n w e k l n f k l s e n d f n s d k l n s f k f d s n f
Dear Madam Starflash,
I am trying very hard to write my book, but my family
members say it is stupid. Is there anything I can do to
keep up my motivation despite their discouragement?
Sincerely,
Discouraged Writer
Dearest Writer,
Never ever give up. Remember that no matter what
anyone else says, you are writing primarily for your-
self, and secondarily to give others enjoyment. There
are no rules when it comes to writing. Recognize your
talents. And if all else fails, turn them into ferrets and
bounce them around a bit for your own amusement.
It’ll inspire you!
May Fortune smile upon you!
------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------
dskfmkmksdldfdklmsklfgmkldmsklmggdkmklgm
k l f s d l n f l k n w e k l n f k l s e n d f n s d k l n s f k f d s n f
Dear Madam Starflash,
My father is a professional Quidditch player and expects
me to join my House Team at Hogwarts. However, I've
known since I was 8 that my true passion is making
Potions. How do I tell my father that my dreams are my
own without getting a Howler?
Sincerely,
Potential Potioneer
Dearest Potioneer,
Simply write him a letter. You’ll be surprised by how
understanding he will be. Tell him about your dreams.
Once you show him your ambition, he’ll be so im-
pressed that he will not stand in your way. He will go
out of his way to nurture your budding talents.
May Fortune smile upon you!
------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------
31
 dskfmkmksdldfdklmsklfgmkldmsklmggdkmklgm
k l f s d l n f l k n w e k l n f k l s e n d f n s d k l n s f k f d s n f

Dear Madam Starflash,

My mother’s birthday is a month from now and every

time I ask her, she says she wants absolutely nothing.
The trouble is, the last time we heeded her words she got
mad at our family for not hosting a party. What should I
do?

Sincerely,
Daughter of Indecision

Dearest Daughter,

Two words: Surprise party. Just hire Millamant's Mag-

ic Marquees to cater and decorate, and you’re com-
pletely covered. And for a gift, get her the enchanted
snow globe you saw at the flea market the other day.

May Fortune smile upon you!

------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------

dskfmkmksdldfdklmsklfgmkldmsklmggdkmklgm
k l f s d l n f l k n w e k l n f k l s e n d f n s d k l n s f k f d s n f

32
INSERT QUIBBLER

33 33
 QUIBBLER INSERT
By /u/starflashfairy
In honor of my 300th birthday, I, Madam Star-
flash, have Seen what the top three items off
of the bucket lists of the Quibbler Winter 2021
season staff. Yes, I definitely Saw these things
in my crystal ball and I did not have to go around
bugging people into telling me. That is why this
is a Divination article, obviously. (You’re wel-
come, Rhino!)
I have of course provided my own bitingly sarcas-
tic and judgemental commentary.
MANAGING EDITORS
Gryffindor - /u/NDoraTonks
“[Redacted], [redacted], [redacted].”
(Madam Starflash: I can only say that the
answers here were...inappropriate...for
this magazine.)
Hufflepuff - /u/L-ily
“Go back home, hear my plants talking to me, go
skydiving.”
(Madam Starflash: Herbology has never been
Lily’s strong suit, so we’re planning on using
a Ventriloquy Charm on her dead plants. The
full story of this prank will be covered in our
Spring 2021 issue.)
34
Ravenclaw - /u/Eldis_
“Lavender tea bread, hazelnut foam cake with
mocha, ladyfingers”
(Madam Starflash: I believe this is a “bucket
list” of things she wants to bake, and not just
a “list of foods she wants to eat”...)
Slytherin - /u/Im_Finally_Free
“Go back to sleep, sleep in, and maybe sleep
some more.”
(Madam Starflash: Welp.)
ADMINISTRATION
Archives - /u/wiksry
“Break into Madam Starflash’s office (again, but
successfully). See the Muggle show Phantom of
the Opera in person. Learn the cello.”
(Madam Starflash: I do not approve of the first
item on this list! But everything else sounds
perfectly lovely.)
Payroll - /u/Marx0r
“El Cellar De Can Roca, Central, Narisawa. Or
maybe Noma. Osteria Francesca, too.”
(Madam Starflash: It’s really quite scary to
think that our Payroll Overlord forgot how to
count to three.)
 INSERT QUIBBLER

Web-Wizard - /u/oomps62 DEPARTMENT EDITORS

“Be able to reach a top shelf without a stool, be
able to buy pants that don't need to be hemmed,
other short people jokes that I'm not creative
enough to think of right now.”
(Madam Starflash: It’s not easy being small.)
LAYOUT AND DESIGN
Art - /u/SinsationalDoom
“Go back to school, I'd love it if my Twitch blew
up, and I'd really like to meet someone special.”
(Madam Starflash: Visit twitch.tv/kerusaurus
and make Sin’s dream come true!!! Don’t ever
say I don’t support my staff.)

Production Manager - /u/KackelDackel Castles & Burrows - /u/blxckfire

“Visit Japan, visit Korea, visit the UK.”
(Madam Starflash: Best get your broomstick
repaired...or maybe FINALLY get your Appari-
tion license?)
Production Assistant 1 - /u/anne_seelmann
“Magic paint, dog, live in a beautiful place.”
(Madam Starflash: Apparently Quibbler Castle
isn’t pretty enough.)
“Live in another country for a bit (currently think-
ing somewhere in the UK, but who knows), hike
the Appalachian Trail, write a book.”
(Madam Starflash: Hike the Appalachian
Trail...that’s ambitious! Fire is showing off that
Slytherin side there!)
Crafts, Brews, & Hobbies - /u/Mathias_Greyjoy

Production Assistant 2 - /u/permagrinfalcon “Take part in a farcical aquatic ceremony, where-

“Invent a scam detector for the old & gullible,
get a dog, fill a pool with balls like a giant playpit
more for me than the dog.”
(Star: I’m coming to visit! Make room in the
ball pit for me!)
Production Assistant 3 - /u/strikeblazer
“Hanging a piece of dementor shroud on my
wall, getting a better GPU to play at higher
FPS, more chocolates than ever.”
(Madam Starflash: Even I can’t
make sense of these letters, and I’m
all-Seeing and all-knowing! Now I’m
just embarrassed.)
in a strange woman lying in a pond distributes a
sword to me. Eat lunch at Stonehenge. Take part
in Grave Robbing an Archeological dig.”
(Madam Starflash: The saddest thing here is
his thinly veiled attempt to feign innocence of
grave-robbing.)
Dark Arts - /u/VinumCupio
“Graduate school and degree. Tour of Hobbiton
and banquet in NZ (damn it, plague, for taking this

Production Assistant 4 - /u/PocketPropagan-

dist
“Raise and spread awareness of pockets,
manufacture gender-neutral but comfortable
clothing (with pockets), add pockets to all
existing clothing to make pockets available
to everyone!”
(Madam Starflash: Sometimes you just
gotta live up to your username. Can’t say
I’m disappointed, because every dress
is better with pockets! The “wow, your
dress is so cute” response “thanks, it
has pockets!” is the best social interac-
tion ever, and needs to be more univer-
sal. But I digress.)

35
 QUIBBLER INSERT

from me on this of all years). Make friends with Sports - /u/Macallion

one or more crows and/or ravens.” “Have the TV series I'm writing be bought and
(Madam Starflash: Vin has since made friends made, build and move into a tiny house, and be-
with seven crows using enchantments which come fluent in Welsh, which I'm already learning.”
cannot be recommended, but she is still seek- (Madam Starflash: I have a tiny house. It suits
ing a raven to “befriend”. However, she still me fine, but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be for
has not forgiven the virus from ruining her normal-sized people.)
coming of age in Hobbit years.)
Travel - /u/mrsvanchamarch
Divination - /u/flabbergasted_rhino “Get a 19th century Banyan made. Have a photo-
“Milk, eggs, flour.” shoot in Bath with said Banyan. Channel the spir-
(Madam Starflash: He took his actual bucket its of Mr. Rochester, Lord Byron, and Xenophilius
list to the grocery store by mistake, clearly. Lovegood in said Banyan.”
He’d better be making my birthday cake.) (Madam Starflash: I approve, although I’m not
entirely sure what this all really means. On the
Education - /u/Starboost3 plus side, channeling my predecessor sounds
“Go skiing in the Alps. Get a cat. Learn German; like a good time, and therein lies the approval
currently procrastinating on that last one.” rating.)
(Madam Starflash: I know the procrastination
thing too well. I’ve been putting off writing this Oh, what’s that? I’ve forgotten my own bucket
very article for more than a year...) list? Hmm...despite all of my asking others,
I hadn’t much thought about my own. Well. I
Entertainment - /u/silvertail8 definitely want to own a library of over a thou-
“Go to a hot spring in Japan, learn how to dance, sand books and visit the Wizarding World of
go on a foodie world tour.” Harry Potter. But the deepest and most des-
(Madam Starflash: I feel it is necessary to add perate desire of my heart is to punch JK Rowl-
that when asked what kind of dancing she ing in the face. Well...as an immortal fairy, I
would like to learn, Silver responded, “Yes”.) have plenty of time!

Fashion - /u/XanCanStand What’s on YOUR bucket list? Send owls to

“Own a house, get married, have kids.” Quibbler Castle, care of Divination Tower, with
(Madam Starflash: Aww, such nice simple your personal lists. Screech owls preferred;
goals. I can’t even bring myself to make they bother Rhino the most.
a joke.)

Magical Plants & Creatures - /u/Oopdidoop

“Bring back the banned blood trade.”
(Madam Starflash: Yes, this is her entire buck-
et list, as it’s the last thing she will ever do
and she knows it. Seems a certain vampire
is still lurking in the corners of the Castle...
WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT BEWITCH-
ING THE NEW STAFF?)

News & Features - /u/CynicForever7

“Music, stories, coffee.”
(Madam Starflash: Not quite sure this is really
a bucket list, but to each their own?...Cynic
is pretty quiet so getting any answer is more
than usual I guess.)

36

Written by Milomi.
There are many aspiring witches
and wizards who wish to excel in
Divination and become Seers.
However, not many have the
talent to See, and can only
predict foggy weather (which
isn’t very helpful). After observing
this among his own students,
Professor Menos Miempri
invented magical spectacles to
help students having difficulty
Seeing.
These spectacles are designed
in a way which allows one to See
more clearly. They have colourful
lenses which are charmed to
detect more than what one
would otherwise see. These
glasses also reduce the focus
and concentration needed, and
lessen the risk of a headache
after staring at crystal balls for
too long.
The spectacles, known as
Seemores, are not meant for a
specific activity but for any task
that involves seeking
information and
knowledge about
the future. One
can wear
Seemores
w h i l e
d o i n g
things
l i k e
reading
t e a
leaves or
hands to
consulting
a crystal ball
to dealing out
tarot cards.
One should not depend
on Seemores entirely, doing
so may alter your results since
you are not putting in any effort.
Seemores should be kept in
good condition, and away from
extreme temperatures. Though
they can be fixed if broken, they
might act differently and go
up in flames. Note that you
should not wear Seemores
belonging to someone
else, however close
you are with them.
The spectacles will
notice this and make
everything seem blurry
rather than it being
clear.
Professor Miempri
firmly believes that
these spectacles will
be of a huge help to the
Wizarding World and insists
on making them a compulsory
accessory when learning
the subject. Other Divination
professors are on the fence and
still contemplating whether it is
a necessary thing to do.
Right now, Menos is
bombarded with questions such
as, “Are Seemores a sensible
thing to introduce given the fact it
Divination
you
go to
might
the store
change
itself.
how Divination
is studied?” and “Is it
being Miempri is also working on two
possible the Seemores might
variations of the Seemore. The
obstruct views instead of
first one is an invisible pair of
providing a clearer perspective?”.
glasses that will work in a similar
He has promised to
fashion, but will attract
elaborate upon
less attention and obtain
the spectacles
the same results. The
and offer
second variation is
m o r e
inspired from Muggles,
details
and called ‘Contact
once he
Lenses’. They are thin lenses
stops receiving
that are placed over your eyes
hundred owls
and follow the same principles
every day.
of Seemores. Instead of having
coloured glass, you will be having
One Seemore
coloured eyes (which are very
costs six sickles,
much in style). These variations
and customized
will be released shortly and
ones cost ten
offer witches and wizards more
sickles. At the
options to choose from.
moment, Seemores are
available at Diagon Alley in
We believe the Seemores could
Amazing Accessories, Seth’s
be a big hit, and encourage you
Seeing Spread and a couple of
to get your very own pair! Don’t
stalls around the same. They can
forget to keep them safe, and
also be ordered by owl and will
use them carefully. If you don’t,
be parceled to you. However to
well, you’ll be in big trouble. And
get the best fit, we recommend
that will be fun to see!
37
 QUIBBLER INSERT

As the blust'ry weather calls,

So too does your weary heart.
For though you whisper in delight,
Still deeper do you yearn for change.

In your future, we see mystery in foliage.

For adversity and obstacles lay in your path.
Very few can pick their way
Wandering amongst towering shadows.

But you will stand right amidst the enemy,

Cloaked in your certainty and nerves of steele.
Beware of that which creeps beyond sight
Just beyond your human gaze.

38
INSERT QUIBBLER

39
 QUIBBLER INSERT
Being a prophet is a
thankless job. When you're
right, which is often, people hate
you for it. When you're wrong, which
almost never happens, people throw it in
your face and call you a fraud. My life wasn't
always this black and white. At one time, there
were enough gradients of grey to satisfy
even the most wishy-washy neutral
party.
If you're lucky enough
to be born into a family of
prophets, you know right
away that you are one
as well. As a baby, you
would warn adults
of small misfortunes
and your whole family
would come together to
celebrate your cerebral mastery.
If, on the other hand, you're like me,
you won't know you have this skill until you go off to Ilvermorny and
have an odd episode during a particularly boring Magic in Muggle
Society class. The next day, although I didn't remember a second of
the prophecy, every student in the dining hall was whispering about
"Fall Leaves". I distinctly remember this because it was Winter and not
a leaf was in sight.
For the next few months, I was constantly on edge, wary of
another "episode" that might embarrass me even further. I somehow
thought I'd be able to feel one come on and stifle it. At the very least,
I thought that I could run away and hide as it happened. Neither of
these two strategies were at all effective.
"Why were there such big prophecies within a year of each
other?" you'll ask. The answer is that there weren't. Prophets are
largely broken up into five tiers depending on the level of prophecy
they conduct. Tier 1 is for tiny events like paper cuts and skinned
knees and Tier 5 is for universe-altering events like black holes and
exploding stars. Generally, Tier 1 prophets barely notice their gift. It's
just a small tickle in the back of their mind and they come across as
overprotective friends. Tier 5 prophets go the whole mile with
40
body shakes, rolling eyes, booming voices, and
occasionally a light show. Tier 5's are very rare, Tier 1's
are very common, and the rest of us fall into line in
descending order from there. I'm classified as a Tier 3,
middle of the road in all aspects, which is so classically
me. This means that, when I have an "episode", it usually
spells disaster or fortune for a small group of people no
larger than eight and I appear to space out.
Prophecies aren't all doom and gloom either.
The Daily Prophet and other news sources like
to shed light on the nastier prophecies
which often are a sign of bad
times to come for towns or
entire countries. However
there are just as much,
if not more, fortunate
prophecies that are
made on a monthly
basis. The most famous
of these actually came in
a set. While one "doom and
gloom" prophecy was being given
to a king in France, a "fortunate" prophecy
was being given to a king in Britain. It has been argued that the two
prophecies are actually one and the same but that is a matter best left
to historians.
"If a tree falls in an empty forest, does it really make a
sound?" This line of questioning leads us neatly into the query of
whether prophecies happen when no one is around to witness them.
As prophets have no memory of giving their prophecies, this question
has remained unanswered for hundreds of years. Just like any other
witch or wizard, a prophet will sometimes find themselves spacing
out when they're alone but no conclusive proof of non-witnessed
prophecies have yet come to light.
If non-witnessed prophecies truly do exist, will they come
true even without a witness? Or does the power of a prophecy stem
from a witness' presence? These are two of the most pressing questions
in today's community of prophets. Tier 4 and 5 prophets gather
annually to discuss these and many more unknowable unknowns
at an event titled "Propheteering: Profit or Prophet?" Although
not the friendliest name, this convention draws prophets from all
over the world to come together in solidarity and further the field.
 INSERT QUIBBLER

There's everything from serious deconstructions of famous

prophecies to philosophical discussions on important topics for
the Modern Prophet to networking mixers involving entirely too
much Firewhiskey. Prophets of all ages and levels of experience can
gather and learn from one another. There are even workshops for
deciphering a prophecy if you are fortunate (or unfortunate)
enough to witness one yourself. Many of the great prophets in our
societies world-wide have attributed their fame and fortune to
talks and networking events hosted by the convention. Most notable
names include Cassandra Fablaski, Tiresias of Greece, and The
Oracle at Delphi (although this last prophet is actually a succession of
prophets in the city of Delphi).
Being a public prophet is often dangerous work as you are
just as likely to incur the wrath of the local warlord or king as you are
to incite their favor. As prophets are not in control of their "episodes",
many choose to live quiet lives with a companion at the ready to note
any arising prophecies. Once written down, prophets with the favor
of people in power will sometimes choose to restage the prophecy if
they are certain that there will be no negative repercussions for doing
so. As with Tiresias of Greece, they are not always correct. However,
once this mistake is made, there is rarely a prophet who will repeat it.
These days, most prophets will carry out quiet lives.
They work in shops, become professors at prestigious universities, or
even go backpacking to discover new magical creatures. Some study
philosophy in high towers while others settle down and start a family.
"Are all prophets a witch or a wizard?" is the next question
my nieces and nephews would ask. The short answer is "sort of".
The slightly longer answer is, "a prophet is never a Muggle".
Usually, a prophet is a witch or a wizard but once in a very
long while, there is a prophet who is a Squib. These prophets
actually tend to have slightly more intense powers than
the average prophet and can most often be found in Tiers 4
and 5 of the Prophet Categorization list. This phenomenon
is being researched intensely by prophets largely in
Great Britain and the United States. More data and
information is consistently revealed at the annual
meeting of the "Propheteeting: Profit or Prophet?"
community so we might have a complete
answer sometime in the
next century!

This article was written by an unnamed prophet. For more information on

Prophets, the challenges they face, and tips for deciphering prophecies,
please owl "Propheteering: Profit or Prophet?" and you will most likely
receive a response within the next three Full Moon cycles.

41
 QUIBBLER INSERT

42
INSERT QUIBBLER

43
QUIBBLER INSERT
INSERT QUIBBLER

45
QUIBBLER INSERT

46
What good ever came
from Snitchcombe?

written by Eldis_, illustrated by victoire_delecour

47
 QUIBBLER INSERT
S i n t e r k l a a s
the Dutch Santa
O n December 24th, Santa gets in
his sleigh and travels the world,
giving presents to children ev-
erywhere, right? Wrong. He doesn’t quite
get everywhere, he skips two European
countries, where his predecessor still
brings joy to the children of the Neth-
erlands and Belgium, but a couple of
weeks before Santa does his round. This
man is called Sinterklaas, and he is quite
an interesting figure indeed.
Sinterklaas, just like the jolly ol’ man
Americans know and love, is based on
bishop Nicolas of Myra, a greek saint
living in modern-day Turkey, who died
on the 6th of December 342. He is the
patron saint of a great many things, but
what is relevant to our story today is that
he is the patron saint of children. In the
early thirteenth century, his popularity
spread from east-Europe into the rest of
Europe, eventually reaching the Nether-
lands too. In order to celebrate this man,
a child was elected bishop on the 6th
of December and they, alongside their
followers, would get food and presents
till the 28th of that same month. Other
children got the day off and received
some extra pocket money to spend. Since
dear saint Nick is also the patron saint of
unmarried women, a man trying to woo
the lady he had set his eyes on would buy
a ‘speculaasvrijer’, a speculaascookie in
the shape of a man, and gift it to her. If
she accepted his present, he knew the
feelings were mutual!
When, around 1600, the Netherlands be-
came more and more protestant, Sinter-
klaas almost left the country completely.
Maarten Luther (EN: Martin Luther) was
convinced that giving each other presents
was more of a Christmassy thing, but he
48
was unsuccessful: the people turned the
religious festivities into a folk festival and
continued their fun!
The oldest known Sinterklaas tradition
is ‘schoenje zetten’. Starting in or before
the 15th century, the poor would leave
one shoe in the church, which would be
filled with money by the rich. Starting a
century later, we have reports of children
leaving their shoes in the living room,
stuffed with hay or a carrot for Sinter-
klaas’ horse to eat, just like you would
leave milk and cookies for Santa and his
elves! After singing a Sinterklaas song,
they’d go to bed full of anticipation. The
next day they’d find their offering for the
horse replaced with a little treasure: some
candy, a tiny toy, an apple, pepernoten,
you name it!
What are pepernoten, you ask? These
tiny cookies are best eaten by the handful
and are made with flour, milk, brown
caster sugar, a thick syrup, butter, cinna-
mon and speculaaskruiden, the latter be-
ing a mix of cinnamon, cloves, coriander,
nutmeg, ginger, aniseeds, cardamom and
a variety of other mysterious spices.
However, not every child could expect to
receive a present from this ‘Goedheilig-
man’. He used to be quite the imposing
and scary figure, who, if you were not an
obedient and dutiful child, would punish
you and give you salt or twigs instead of
something sweet. Or worse, he would
kidnap you back to Spain, where he lives!
Sinterklaas used to deliver all the presents
alone, travelling over the rooftops on his
gorgeous white horse. However, in the
mid-eighteen-hundreds, a teacher was
the first to report about the steamship
Sinterklaas used to travel from and to
Spain, and the first to report on Sinter-
klaas’ helpers. And these aren’t like the
adorable tiny elves Santa has running
around in his workshop, oh no. This is
where the story turns from a fun, sweet
tradition where children receive presents
and candy to a political debate. The help-
ers Sinterklaas had, is called ‘Zwarte Piet’
(Black Pete) and is quite clearly a slave.
Whilst Sinterklaas himself turned more
and more into the kind, forgiving, be-
nevolent man he is perceived to be today,
Zwarte Piet became the scary punisher
who would kidnap naughty children. He
was acted out by white people paint-
ing their faces pitch-black, their lips an
exaggerated red and wearing curly wigs,
large hoop earrings and a minstrel-outfit.
Since 1850 his image, too, slowly shifted
into a kinder figure, but his look is today
still a topic of major debate. Starting in
2013, the ‘zwartepiedendebat’ has taken
over the Netherlands every single holiday
season, with people in favour and people
against Zwarte Piet hotly debating their
opinions: ‘it’s tradition!’ and ‘it’s super
racist!’ respectively.
In the past few years, the enormous
wigs, dramatic red lips and gold earrings
have disappeared, and it is rare to find
a Zwarte Piet with a truly pitch-black
face. Many celebrations nowadays prefer
a ‘roetveegpiet’, or a scootpete, where
the face remains white but is dusted and
grimed with soot, supposedly because
the Pieten deliver the presents by going
through the chimneys, which is, of
course, not a very clean job. Sinterklaas
himself, meanwhile, has had the same
look for quite a while. With his white
dress, red-and-gold cape and mitre, white
beard and gold staff, he truly looks like
a bishop. He can also often be seen car-

rying a heavy book, which contains the
names of all the children in the Nether-
lands, alongside their wishlist.
Sinterklaas, in normal times, is usually
celebrated very extensively. Most people
will have multiple celebrations with fam-
ily, colleagues, sports clubs and different
friend groups, whilst children usually
also celebrate at school. Luckily you
do not have to buy presents for every
single person in every single celebration
you attend. Most groups will draw lots:
everyone puts a piece of paper with
their name and wishlist in a hat, and
once all names are in, everyone draws
a piece of paper and has to buy some-
thing for the name they find, generally
having to stay below a certain budget
decided by the group.
Sometimes, some tinkering is required.
You don’t just want to give the present
straight, it has to be hidden in some
sort of ‘surprise’, preferably related to
either the present inside or the person
receiving it. So if you know that John
from Accounting really likes soccer,
you might hide his present inside a
paper-mache soccerball. Every surprise,
however, or every present straight,
should be accompanied by a little poem.
This rhyme, usually following a simple
aabccdd etc. scheme, pokes fun at the
recipient and hints at the contents of
the package. So if John from Account-
ing always runs in five minutes late, now
is your time to finally make your frustra-
tions known. Although not too clearly,
as the givers will be revealed after all the
unwrapping is done.
In smaller circles, everyone will buy pres-
ents for everyone, accompanying every
single present with a poem. Children will
usually receive a present in their shoes
once or twice each season (not accom-
panied by a poem), the most popular
gift being chocolate in the shape of their
initial. Of course, they only receive a
present if they sang one of the Sinterk-
laas songs the previous evening!
Sinterklaas is such a popular celebration
that there even exists a ‘Sinterklaas-
journaal’, a news bulletin to keep the
children up-to-date on Saint Nick’s
preparations for the big night on
the 5th of December, where the
INSERT QUIBBLER
family will gather together with a huge important part of Dutch and Belgian
pile of presents, snacks and many mugs culture, although each country celebrates
filled with delicious hot chocolate. The the feast on different days. Whilst the
first broadcast each year starts about a Dutch gather on the fifth of December
week before the ‘intocht’, the day Sin- to open their presents, the Belgians have
terklaas officially arrives in the Nether- a bit more patience and celebrate on the
lands. The presenter, Dieuwertje Blok, sixth. It is no wonder, then, that Santa
will contact the boat to see how things himself doesn’t have to visit every house
are going, and they are usually not going in these two countries to spread his joy,
well: either the presents are lost, or the for that would be a bit of an overkill.
horse is ill, or the big book with all the Which leaves Santa and his elves only
children's names has fallen into the 193 countries to visit on the 24th. Piece
water. Luckily, the ship always arrives on of cake, right?
time somewhere in the first two weeks
of November. He will be welcomed
by the mayor of the town he docks at,
and a whole bunch of excited children
and tired parents waiting along the
sidelines of the route Sinterklaas takes
on his horse. Het Sinterklaasjournaal is
broadcasted every weekday, so every-
one can keep close track of the most
recent developments, always resulting in
a happy end for Sinterklaas, his pieten,
the horse, the present and the children.
This year is the 20th season, where
Sinterklaas arrived in a secret location.
This year the children could welcome
him by sending their drawings to their
local mayor, who travelled in their
name to Sinterklaas’ house to hand
the drawings over. Sinterklaas is
working from home this year!
344 of the 355 mayors have
agreed to participate.
It is safe to say that
this beloved and con-
troversial feast is an
Copyright Sander van der Wel, Wikipedia
49
 D
ear readers, I bring to you an expose that
will shake Hogwarts School of Witchcraft
and Wizardry -- and therefore British
Wizarding society as we know it -- to its
very core. From the secret rooms of the
Slytherin dungeons to the mysteriously
sinister rooms of Ravenclaw Tower, from the cheerful
blaze of Hufflepuff to the watery knees of Gryffindor, this
article will expose the secrets of all four Houses, hitherto
unknown in their entirety.

Gryffindor, for example, is split on its opinion of the

House Cup. Some see the House Cup as past gen-
erations have: a collaboration between members of a
House to earn a special reward. Others, however, see it
very differently.

“It’s a suck-up contest,” one student confides in me.

“They’re trying to get us to behave by dangling a useless
reward in front of us -- we get nothing for it! We get an
old cup that our Head of House holds on to while the
people who did the work don’t see it. We get no extra
privileges, no real prize. Why bother?”

Another says, “They talk a big game about House unity,

but they don’t believe in it. If they believed in it they’d get
rid of the House Cup. All that thing does is keep us at
each other’s throats, wondering when we’re gonna get
blamed for something we didn’t do and lose points, or
sabotaging another House’s chances. Some teachers
abuse the system by giving out or taking away points for
no real reason. It’s an annoying, unnecessary distraction.”

One wonders if the real reason Gryffindor appears to be

anti-House Cup is the bullying that runs rampant through
the House. An anonymous ex-student tells me that when
Hermione Granger was still a student, she was mocked
and hexed for her initial efforts at improving the lot of
house-elves (for an in-depth look at how Ms. Granger's
one-woman campaign became its own Ministerial de-
partment, see page 7). A current student reports that the
'pranksters' of Gryffindor tower, known as Marauders2.0
for reasons known only to them, are not the lovable
jokesters they present themselves as.

"Some of us are terrified," the student admits. "We've

woken up to things in our beds, to our windows being
gone, to explosions in the common room at three in the
morning...living with them is hazardous to our health."

I reached out to Headmaster Weasley for comment. He

sent me a terse letter in reply, saying in part, "Members
of my extended family may be a bit rambunctious, and
certainly they don't always think things through. But
what does a teenager do? I will remind you that we have
had no significant injuries on Hogwarts grounds since
my disastrous predecessor, Alicora Millifiore, attempted
to revive the Triwizard Tournament as a single-school
competition, then lost control of his Fwooper. Under my
tenure, injuries have decreased by 37% in total."
50
Are injuries the only measure of a successful school?
A casual perusal of grades by House, which are sent to
the Ministry each year, shows a startling trend: Gryffind-
or and Ravenclaw have been swapping between fourth
place in academics for the past nine years.
It is understandable that Gryffindor would take the bot-
tom place occasionally; their House is not renowned
for academic prowess. But Ravenclaw, regarded as
the House for those of superior intellect, in the bottom
half of the school?
Nobody has ever made it to the top. Many have tried,
according to my sources. Some have returned to the
common room sobbing and bloody, but none have yet
made it through that harrowing maze.
"Once was enough," one student tells me. "I made it to
-- I don't know what it was. It looked like those paintings
from those Muggle artists, MC Escher and Salvador
Dali, got together and had a baby and created that --
that monstrosity up there. I barely made it out in one
piece...I'm never going back up there."

Headmaster Weasley told me, quite verbosely, that
Ravenclaws are near the bottom due to a mix of
academic distractibility and burnout. The burnout is,
frankly, easy to remember from when we all took our
OWLs and NEWTs. Who among us did their best in
that two-week haze of test after test after test, which
we were told would
decide our future more
Another student concurs: "I made it to the room with
suits of armor shaped like dragons. I thought I could
take them, but they got me instead." He shows me a
scar on his arm. "They breathed Fiendfyre."
Fiendfyre! In our most esteemed school, this is what
haunts Ravenclaw Tower
the most. It seems like

"
concretely than our own this would belong more
ambitions? It’s a suck-up contest,” in Gryffindor.

But academic distracti- one student confides in me. Indeed, a search of

bility, Headmaster Wea-
sley tells me, is the real
“They’re trying to get us to school records provides
evidence that prior to
culprit. He gave me an behave by dangling a use- 1547, an average of
example, apparently a 6 Gryffindor students
true story: less reward in front of us died each year. In 1547

The first year Raven-

claws were set an essay
on the uses of the Levi-
tation Charm. Out of sev-
en, only one turned his
in on time. The others all
begged for extensions,
citing kinematic laws and
-- we get nothing for it! We Gryffindor and Ravenclaw
students switched places
get an old cup that our Head -- Ravenclaw Tower be-
came Gryffindor; Gryffind-
of House holds on to while or Tower became Raven-
the people who did the work claw. After the switch,
average Gryffindor stu-
don’t see it. We get no ex- dent deaths dropped to
tra privileges, no real prize. 2 for the next ten years,

natural order perversions
that must be resolved.
Why bother?
The Transfiguration
demonstration, where
Prof. Lecroix turned her desk into a pig, drew forth an
outpouring of concerns: was the pig truly alive? If you
killed it, could you make bacon? If the pig was alive,
was it morally correct to then return it to its initial state
of being a desk? Was this an exception to Gamp's
Law of Elemental Transfiguration? (Headmaster Wea-
sley assured me the student in question phrased it as
"But I thought you couldn't Transfigure food?")
But all of this pales in comparison to the true distrac-
tion at work here. Ravenclaw Tower does not end. The
Tower continues to spiral, higher than the castle itself,
in a real-world example of a wormhole. One student
told me the rumor holds that if you make it to the top,
you'll come back out in the Slytherin common room.
"
then 0, which has held
steady since (with the ob-
vious exception of certain
outlier events).
But if that is what our brave and intelligent students
face in the air, what do our ambitious and loyal stu-
dents face underground?
Hufflepuff, it appears, has a collection of creatures for
student use. There is a boggart on which students may
practice the Boggart-Repelling Spell (and, upon occa-
sion, more difficult spells such as the Patronus Charm).
There is a grindylow in a tank it shares with a Red
Cap and a hinkypunk. (Apparently, care must be taken
in maintenance lest a hapless student be injured or
the three creatures attack one another.) For the more
adventurous students, a tunnel to the Forbidden Forest
appears on the full and new moons; in order to prove
your prowess and use the tunnel, you must defeat the
Door Guardian in battles of wits, reflexes, and knowl-
edge. Hufflepuff forbids those below fifth year from
51
even attempting to challenge the Door Guardian, and
only 3-5 NEWT students each year are able to best the
Guardian and gain access to the Forbidden Forest.
The Guardian is not the only volatile being in the Huf-
flepuff common room. The paintings in Hufflepuff are
quite snide and rudely comment upon everything one
is doing unless they judge it to be "bettering yourself"
in some way. Since these paintings date from the year
1206, some of these opinions are quite dated: girls
are often yelled at to take up weaving rather than play
Exploding Snap; swordplay is pressed upon the boys in
lieu of Gobstones. Many students have learned to tune
them out, but not all.
" It's a dreadful racket," says one. "I've got a couple
years, yeah, but I still need to prepare for NEWTs now.
If I don't do well, it'll be back to the Muggle world for
me, and without my GCSEs or A-levels, well, it'll be a
miserable life.
"It's a dreadful racket," says one. "I've got a couple
years, yeah, but I still need to prepare for NEWTs now.
If I don't do well, it'll be back to the Muggle world for
me, and without my GCSEs or A-levels, well, it'll be a
miserable life."
(The line between Muggle and Magical worlds in terms
of education has been hotly debated. I will not rehash
that argument here; perhaps another time, should read-
ers show interest.)
Another has a different take: "I've been teaching myself
Old English from the portraits. Helen Ingersoll’s taken
advantage of that, but she has the most interesting
scrolls anyway, so I don’t mind. One of the portraits
believes that books printed after the Statute of Secre-
cy fail to account for Muggle theories and advances,
and will translate anything I ask her to. I have to say,
looking at our current textbooks compared to Muggles',
she has a point. I mean, wizards still believe in the four
humors! Get with the times, people, germs can be seen
with a couple of magnifying glasses and a flashlight!"
(If you don't know what germs and flashlights are, visit
a Muggle library and ask a librarian for assistance us-
ing their catalogue.)
These two students point to an interesting trend that
has been growing: students want to marry Muggle tech-
nology with magic. Again, I won't rehash this debate
here. However, Hufflepuff seems to be the most gung-
52
ho of all the Houses. For a House based on fairness
and diligence, this seems quite fitting.
Slytherin, on the other hand, is far more divided.
"Our traditions will be destroyed," one student tells
me. "We can't say it anymore, not with the govern-
ment we have now, but Muggle-borns have been
eroding our culture. We are the last bastions of tradi-
tion and culture in this world, and we do not intend to
see it collapse without a fight."
A different student is diametrically opposed to that opin-
ion: "Some traditions are stupid," they tell me bluntly.
"Quills are more unwieldy and break easier than pens.
"
Bloodline governance and monarchies are outdated,
and most Muggles recognize that. Our government
needs to reform, and I support all efforts to destroy the
oligarchy determined to keep us all in the Dark Ages."
A more moderate opinion seems to be the norm in
Slytherin: while Muggles have historically been violent
toward Magicals, so too have Magicals been violent
toward Muggles. One need only look at how divisive
the Muggle-Baiting Ban was, at how narrow a margin
it passed (88-87, with 25 abstentions!), to understand
how true this is. Some traditions should be pruned; not
all progress is good.
Slytherin is more focused on politics than the other
Houses. As the House of ambition and cunning, many
Slytherin students see themselves going into politics.
Unsurprisingly, many of its in-House conflicts also
center around contemporary political issues (the role
of the Ministry, the value of the Statute of Secrecy, the
enforcement and creation of various laws, whether
certain passwords should be retired [this one they did
not explain]).
However, not all conflicts are political in nature, and nor
are they interpersonal. The oldest conflict in Slytherin,
according to multiple people, is who actually founded
the House.
"The history books all say it was Salazar Slytherin,"
says Hellen Imbersoll, who wished her name to be
printed. "Whatever book you look in - Great Wizards of
the First Millennium, Hogwarts A History, even A Defin-
itive Guide to Hogwarts - they all say it was founded by
old Salazar.
"But if you go back to the scrolls, back to before the
printing press, you start seeing other theories. You
start seeing Salazar listed as Head of House, but only
after someone named Orellana had died. There are
scrolls from the eleventh-through-fourteenth centuries
that speak of Orellana Slytherin as a great magician, a
political savant, and a marvelous teacher.
"But then the printing press is invented. Muggles be-
gin seeing these scrolls as they are turned into books
(remember, the Statute of Secrecy did not yet exist).
And these Muggles, seeing Orellana's name, assume
that Orellana was a woman and so they're getting a
mistranslated text, because the culture in those days
was for women to be completely subservient to men.
So they go back and they start 'fixing' these mistrans-
lated scrolls, creating a whole lot of mistranslated
books in the process. And because few people read
West Saxon anymore, these scrolls were lost. Until I
got a Hufflepuff to take the scroll into his common
room and get a portrait to translate it, I had no idea
about any of this. Puffy's been working on this with
me for almost a year, but they don't want their name
on this, so I won't say it."
I had to ask her. Who was Orellana Slytherin?
"Orellana Slytherin," Miss Imbersoll says, "was Sala-
zar Slytherin's wife."
In the astonished silence that followed as I tried to
come up with a response, Helen continued. "It's
something we see a lot after the introduction of cer-
tain schools of thought - women as servants, women
as children, women as uneducated dolts. And a lot of
women were uneducated, but so were a lot of men.
Husbands taking credit for their wives' accomplish-
ments is a time-honored tradition that needs to go.
Salazar never took credit while he was alive, but after
several centuries, this became the truth."
I asked her for her sources. She grins at me. "I found
their private journals. Dating spells place them at the
right time in history. Hufflepuff has been a godsend in
translating them."
The Lost Journals of Salazar Slytherin are supposed to
be hidden in his Chamber of Secrets. I ask her about it
and she tells me, as casually as if we were discussing
a new hair treatment, "I'm a Parselmouth. I found the
Chamber in my third year and have been going since.
I've asked Headmaster Weasley to get a proper histo-
rian in here to validate them - I'm only fifteen, no one's
going to listen to me - but he refused. There are jour-
nals from the Slytherin line dating from Orellana and
Salazar all the way to 1627, when Ferdinand announc-
es his intention to challenge another to a duel over
an insult. It must have killed him because the journals
stop. His daughter was two - I guess she never found
the Chamber."
Headmaster Weasley tells me, "Miss Ingersoll is incred-
ibly advanced, particularly for a fifth-year student. Her
drive and curiosity have led to a wondrous discovery,
but it cannot be verified until the students have left for
the summer and Ministry experts can be called in to
investigate."
Even while writing it out, my head is spinning. The
Chamber of Secrets and the Lost Journals - found?
But how? When? Is this fifth-year student telling me
"
Orellana Slytherin," Miss
Imbersoll says, "was Sala-
"
zar Slytherin's wife.
the truth? Headmaster Weasley certainly seems to
think so.
More importantly, if this is something hotly debated
within Slytherin - why has no one else been notified? Is
it the prejudice against Parselmouths? Is it Slytherin's
reputation? Is it the habitual secrecy this House prides
itself upon?
Perhaps it's all of the above. As I finish this report,
I reflect upon all I have learned. Gryffindor's prank-
sters, terrorizing their classmates. Ravenclaw Tower,
assaulting its students. Hufflepuff portraits berating its
charges. Slytherin politics that will blow the historical
societies away.
As I do, I realize that there is only one question I asked
of Headmaster Weasley that he did not answer. Per-
haps I'll never know who his favorite singer is.
53
 QUIBBLER INSERT
p
v i n g D e e
D i
Many wizards and witches have devel-
oped a new way of living called ‘Diving Deep’. To
dive deep is to look into yourself and ask yourself a
lot of questions that help discover yourself. Rather
than blaming every problem on Merlin, one should
first dive deep into themselves and understand
what they are searching for.
It might sound complicated, but Emerson Rans’
book ‘Dive Deep Into Your Soul' talks about this
very practice. Inspired by the Pensieve, as well
as modern Muggle psychology, diving deep has
proved effective on many occasions. Witches and
wizards who feel confused and lost are requested to
ask themselves why.
Why do they feel upset? Why does that particu-
lar thing upset them? What did they expect? And
more questions of the same sort. It might take you
time to answer a question honestly, but that’s the
way to go about it. You might not want to admit
something, but according to Rans, that’s what you
should do.
Before confronting life, confront yourself. Ask
yourself what is wrong and why. While doing this,
you might feel like breaking down and crying.
That is actually good because it releases all the
magical and stress energy you’ve been building
inside of you. As known, all wizards and witch-
es have magical energy which is channeled
through wands and that’s how you can cast
spells and charms. However, if something
is troubling you, more energy is built
up inside of you. This energy cannot
be channeled through wands, but
rather can be channeled out of
you via your feelings.
54
If you dive deep
into yourself and
find that knot that has
been causing so much en-
ergy, you can work on it from
there. Untangling that knot will take
time because each knot will make you
question yourself and make you under-
stand things you didn't know about yourself.
If you do dive deep, do so with caution. Asking
too many questions and seeking too many answers
can hurt you. You’ll be left clinging on to whatever
hope you have and feel like nothing makes sense.
This can occur if you let out too much energy, and
you start feeling weak and like nothing matters.
At this point, you need to remind yourself that you
have a lot that matters and that you matter a lot to
many people. The journey will be tough, but you’ll
feel better. It’s like diving deep into an ocean to
search for rumored creatures. It will be tough to
keep going for hours at a stretch, but with the
right approach, you’ll be successful. In the same
way, if you are calm and ready to face whatever
comes your way, you’ll be able to dive deep.
After you dive deep, the time to resurface arrives.
You need to accept what you’ve learned and change
your thoughts to accept that. Maybe you might
have to take on a different perspective in life or
value things more. But it will be worth it.
Witches and wizards have tried this method, and
it worked fantastically. They claimed to feel dif-
ferent and have a different outlook on life. Some
things mattered more than others, some mattered
less. They were still the same person and had not
lost nor gained any extra magical abilities. They
were able to do everything they could do before,
but their head felt lighter. Their hearts felt lighter.
Their lives felt lighter. And they were happier.
Written by
Milomi10
INSERT QUIBBLER

55
QUIBBLER ENTERTAINMENT

A Lonely Christmas
I plunge through snow and marvel
at how thousands upon thousands
of feather-light flakes create
A blanket; cold and dense.

Passing conversations, speaking

of white Christmasses, family, friends,
presents and colourful trees-

I look down and wonder

how it is back home,
where one empty chair stands.
For me here, there are three

And I cannot help but wish

That there wasn't any Christmas

This lonely, ice cold year

56
 INSERT QUIBBLER

Christmas is Still Christmas

Our lives may not be perfect
our songs are quite off-key
our wishes may not have come true
yet we’ll dance and sing with glee
We might not be too normal
perhaps a little mad
you might think we’re crazy ones
when we paint our walls bright red
But Christmas is still Christmas
which opens many doors
we send hope and peace this season
from our family – to yours.

57
 QUIBBLER INSERT

58
INSERT QUIBBLER

59
 QUIBBLER INSERT

Joy
I tasted sunlight today
It peeked out from behind clouds
Playing hide and seek with a new companion

I never had to chase the sun

Like I loved to do with the moon
On car rides gone by, I’d tap the glass
In a formal beginning of tag
I’d chase the moon home
I never won

I learned that heat can welcome you

As well as its absence
How the cold seeps into your bones
Sometimes it wakes you up
Other times it puts you to sleep
This time
It showed me the meaning of home

I greeted that same friend

Who warmed the sand as I walked it
I burrowed into the earth just a bit more
To show I was pleased

The sun rose one morning

Shone directly through my window
Woke me from slumber and gave me the strength to move
Only the sun knew how to say good morning

Have you ever felt completely new?

Not like polish on shoes
More like the mist on leaves after rain
Like the world just stopped for a moment and said
There you are! You bright beautiful you!
Welcome Home!

60
 t :
INSERT QUIBBLER

s c o t
e R o e r
a z a t
Bl e a r s L
Y
r
tche

o
sfle

Tw
ngou
/m undu 'Pixie Troubles' received mixed reviews from the magical audience; a first
By u for Blaze as all of his previous songs were instant hits. The youngest audi-
ence age group were both happy and keen on this new form of music.

“I love his new style, it gives him a whole new sexy demeanour. I hope he

S
inging sensation River ‘Blaze’ Roscott has finally returned
after a two-year-long break with his new song ‘Pixie Trou-
bles’. After the successful international concert tour of his
last album ‘Gnomes On Fire’, Blaze had announced to the dismay of his
fans that he would be taking a break from music due to personal reasons
for an undefined period of time.
Last Monday, the fans received a pleasant surprise when ‘Pixie Troubles’
hit the wizarding wireless. In a floo interview with yours truly, Blaze told us
that this song is an early release to promote his much anticipated Christ-
mas album called ‘The Snowy Dens’ (to be released before the Winter
Holidays).
'Pixie Troubles' couldn’t be more different from Blaze's regular repertoire.
His conviction in changing his style of music is quite lost on us since he
had so much success with his previous songs. Case in point, ‘Chamber
Pods’ from his last album thrice topped the musical charts according to
the magazine ‘Magical Symphony’ three years ago.
keeps making music like this,” says 17 year-old Natasha Green.
In stark contrast, the older audience age groups don't find 'Pixie Trou-
bles' as appealing as Blaze's previous songs.
“Blaze’s slow deep voice is what made his songs stand out from the
rest of the music in the wizarding world. This song however makes him
sound quite breathless and I’m not sure if I like it,” says Martha Hammer-
schmidth, 34.
When we asked Blaze if he's worried that this new album won’t quite reach
the mark that his previous songs set, he responded, “Change is almost
always met with resistance. This is just the start. I’m confident that my
forthcoming songs will change the face of wizarding music.”
All in all, regardless of your stance on 'rap', you have to agree that listen-
ing to Blaze’s voice after such a long time is indeed a treat. We don’t yet
know if this change is for the better or worse but what we do know is that
Christmas just got a whole lot better with Blaze on the wireless.

This new single is apparently a form of muggle music called ‘rap’. Blaze
told us that he has been experimenting with muggle music, even dabbling
in a dance form called 'hip hop'. Apparently, this type of dancing (which
is in no way related to bunnies) was his gateway to 'rap', the supposedly
very popular music genre in the muggle world.

'Rap' is quite unlike anything that has touched the magical community.
The song consists of a series of rhymes recited at such a fast pace that
we are almost sure that he used the ‘Speedening Charm’ on his voice
(although he denies doing so).

61
 QUIBBLER INSERT
W
e all love snow. White, bright,
cold snow. This year, a group of
pranksters decided to showcase
their fondness for the same by burying a
neighbourhood in 165 feet of snow. You
might ask how they did that since even
the experts are clueless as to how the
group of wizards were able to cast such a
strong charm.
Notting Hill is in deep snow, causing a lot
of havoc amongst Muggles and magical
folk alike. Some wizards escaped their
houses by Apparating or using Floo Pow-
der while others simply stayed put and
enjoyed their surprise igloos. Many officials
were called in to melt the snow and obliv-
iate any gawking Muggles. The Muggles,
however, were quicker than ever and used
something called the Internet to spread
the word about the surprise snowfall.
62
The Muggle weathermen were very con-
fused and came up with various excuses
for the heavy snow. It managed to make
the headlines of every Muggle newspaper
in Europe and left everyone astounded.
The Ministry is currently searching for the
witches or wizards behind this, but more
attention is being paid on getting the
snow to melt.
Every time someone attempts a Fire or
Warmth charm, it is fizzed out by more
snow. The more snow there is, the far-
ther they are made to retreat. In addi-
tion, nobody witnessed the snow piling
up in the first place. This means that the
witches or wizards who cast the spell
were quick and efficient.
Muggles are in a frenzy but they can have
the snowy Christmas many of them hoped
for. The Ministry is reaching out to more

experts for help but so far, all of their owls
are in vain. A very useful observation was
made that it only snowed more if spells
and charms to reduce it were cast. Other-
wise, the snow stayed still.
One patchy solution would be to levitate
chunks of snow out of the neighbourhood
and spread it out on the surrounding hill-
sides. If both wizards and Muggles are en-
thusiastic, they can even figure out a way
to get rid of the snow that blocks doors.
The next logical step from there is to make
snow slides, roller-coasters and transform
the place into a winter amusement park
(temporary, hopefully).
However, that solution is a last resort.
Research is currently being conducted on
the snow and how it can either be stopped
INSERT QUIBBLER
or vanished. The pranksters themselves
sent a letter to the Ministry which, once
opened, spit snow in the recipient’s face.
The letter was consequently passed
around but no one was able to identify the
sender or a way to stop the charm.
Though the spell isn’t exactly harmless,
I’d call it extremely remarkable (and fun-
ny). If you know anything about the charm
or would like to help in any way, you may
owl the Head of Charms and Spells in the
Ministry. Keep an eye out for suspicious
snow and steer away from that chunk of
weird-looking snow. If you're very unlucky,
the snow might just bury you and you’ll
become a SnowWizard!
Written by
Milomi10
63
 QUIBBLER INSERT
bunch of bananas wrapped in plastic or not, grab those without. Try to

It's Easy
It'
avoid buying hazardous materials that could pose difficulties for you to
recycle, such as freon-containing appliances or fluorescent tubes.

Simply reusing, reducing and recycling products and thinking twice

about your purchases can already substantially limit your carbon

B e i n g
footprint. The waste hierarchy is cheap, and on many occasions even
saves you money. For an even bigger change, you can introduce the
'reuse, reduce, recycle'- slogan at your place of work, school or sports
club. With the waste hierarchy, it actually is quite easy being green and
making a small, personal, positive change in the world.

G r e e n
Other tips include:

• Cutting the plastic rings your bottlecap is connected to, or your

beer is packaged with, so no animal can get stuck in it.

The issue of climate change is one that has been at the forefront of
the news for a long time, and the pictures, stats and predictions are
becoming more and more depressing each year. Many people want
to help save the environment, but they often feel hopeless. How can a
single person make a real change? Others fear that they do not have
the monetary possibilities to reduce their carbon footprint. The saying
is, after all, 'it's not easy being green'. Whilst global warming is indeed
mainly the fault of big companies, it feels good to help the environment
yourself as well. Every little bit counts! There is an easy and cheap
way to help combat climate change: the waste hierarchy. The waste
hierarchy, also known as the 'Three R's' is a simple slogan designed to
reduce your carbon footprint: reuse, reduce, recycle.
The reuse of products is often seen as limited to hipster DIY projects,
but this first point in the waste hierarchy goes much further than that.
It includes using your cup of coffee from the machine multiple times
rather than using a new cup each time, or washing your cleaning
cloths after use rather than throwing them out. It advises you to buy
clothes at a second-hand store rather than brand new at one of the
fast-fashion stores, and donate the clothes you do not wear. In the
USA, people throw away on average 4.51 pounds per person per day.
Much of this trash could have either been avoided in the first place
or reused rather than thrown out. This does not only help the environ-
ment but also your wallet!
• Save a couple of empty jars & buy loose-leaf tea: teabags are quite
bad for the environment.
• Find a local farmers’ market! That way you support your local
businesses & your food has a lower carbon footprint since it didn’t
come from that far away.
• Check your wine label: how far did it have to travel before you could
buy it? Only buy wines from your general part of the world!
• Don’t leave things plugged in when not in use! Even when the de-
vice is off, it will still use a little bit of electricity. Unplugging saves
your wallet as well!
• Meal prep! Save reusable plastic tubs (like empty buttertubs) to
put prepped meals in so you can freeze it. This way you’ll throw
away less food since it doesn’t go off!
Cycle, walk or travel by public transport instead of driving!
source: https://www.epa.gov/facts-and-figures-about-materials-
waste-and-recycling/national-overview-facts-and-figures-materials

The second point of the waste hierarchy is to reduce. This is often

misinterpreted as living on a minimalist diet in an empty home.
However, this is not the aim of this point. Instead, it encourages you
to use a ceramic mug rather than a plastic or paper cup to get coffee,
use a reusable shopping bag rather than plastic bags or to do your
laundry only when you have a full load. This point also encourages
people to think twice about their purchases. Do you need a separate
oven and microwave, or can you buy a combi-oven instead? Or,
on a smaller scale, is it not better - and cheaper - to buy a head
of lettuce rather than a pre-cut salad? Keeping this in mind can
already half your garbage output.

The third and final advice is to recycle. Sometimes, trash is

unavoidable, and you will have to throw things away. Look into
the recycling options your local government provides. Almost all
cities in the western world have options to separate glass, paper
and plastic. When purchasing items, pay attention to the packaging
they come in. The packaging will always say when it is made of recycled
products. Try to buy those products, or products packaged with easy to
recycle paper or other biodegradable material. And for many items, the
packaging isn’t really necessary! If you can choose between buying a

64
 INSERT QUIBBLER

Snow
Snow drifts toward the ground
Slowly, gently
Adheres to soil and fits around it
Remakes itself to provide
An addition to a cycle no one can control

Snow is like freedom

It cannot be contained or restrained
It adapts and shifts to new age assault

Burns like fire even on the coldest night

Creates a shroud to guide you home

Have you ever noticed?

You can always look back and see
The steps taken to get you here

Snow is a free canvas for all

Molding it like clay
Laying in it to create impressions in the deep
Fighting with it and leaving no scars

Sometimes I think snow remembers

The joy it brings
The hope it collects
The happiness it pulls from our hearts

I’ve traveled using the snow

Imagined an entirely new world for myself
I reached out to the snow
And Greeted it with open arms
Let the cold wind it travelled on
Wake me from dreams nearly forgotten

65
 QUIBBLER INSERT

Mens Erger Je Niet:

A Boardgame for the Family!

66

W
e’ve all been stuck at home for a while now,
and with the arrival of the cold, wintry days that
doesn’t look like it will change any time soon.
Which leaves the question: how can you keep yourself
entertained? You’ve binged your entire to-watch list, baked
loads of bread, scrolled endlessly through Twitter and
Instagram… So if you’re already feeling ready to com-
pletely destroy your roommates, why not do so through a
good-old-fashioned, fun for the entire family board game?
All the way from Europe, here’s ‘Mens Erger Je Niet’, AKA
‘Mensch ärgere Dich nicht’, or, freely translated, ‘Dude,
don’t be so annoyed!’
You can play this game with up to 4 people. You will need
• The board (offered to you by the Quibbler)
• 4 tokens for each player.
• one dice (a D6)
Every player chooses one of the colours in the four corners
of the board. The four circles in that corner will be their
‘home base’, and that is where their tokens start. It is con-
venient if the tokens match the colour of their home base,
or are otherwise distinctive from the other tokens. That
way each player always knows which token is whose. The
player that manages to get all of their tokens on their row
in the middle of the board, the safe haven, wins.
Once all the tokens are safely placed in their home base,
the game begins. The youngest player starts by rolling the
dice. If they roll a 6, they can place one of their tokens on
the board, starting at the letter in their colour. They can
now roll again, and move their token, clockwise, an equal
amount of spaces to the eyes on the dice. If they did not
roll a 6 on their first try, the turn goes to the next player, in
a clockwise fashion.
After everyone has had their turn, the first player gets to
roll the dice once more. If they roll a 6 and already have
one token on the board, they get a choice: they can either
move that token 6 spaces, or place another token on the
board. They cannot do both. Either action will mark the
end of their turn, they do not get to roll again.
When a player has multiple tokens on the board at the
same time, they only get to move one of the tokens
each turn. Each token only moves on the white dots,
until they arrive at their own colour’s home base, where
they are safe.
So far, so good, right? You have your tokens in your home
base, if you roll a 6 one of them goes on the board, and
from there you can move them clockwise around the
board. Sounds boring? Well, it won’t be once I tell you
the next, and the most important rule of ‘Mens Erger
Je Niet’: no two tokens are allowed on the same space.
This means that if you roll a 4, and move 4 paces to a
INSERT QUIBBLER
spot that’s already occupied, you get to send that token
straight back to its home base. That player will have to
once again roll a 6 before they can place their token
back on the board, and their token will have to start its
entire journey from the beginning, regardless of how
close they were to the safe haven.
Let’s give an example. Say Eldis_, SinsationalDoom,
Starflash and NDoraTonks are playing this game in
the Quibbler head office breakroom. After a couple of
rounds, Eldis_ has one token only three spaces away
from her blue safe haven! However, SinsationalDoom
rolls a 2, and it just so happens that one of Sin’s bright
green tokens is two spaces behind Eldis’. Which means
that Sin’s token can move two spaces forward, and Eldis
has to return her token back to her home base, and has
to start all over again.
If no movements can be made because the rolled dice
would kick the player’s own token off the board, because
they do not have any tokens, or because they do not
want to move their tokens for a different reason, they can
surrender their turn and try again once everyone else
has played.
But if you are close to your safe haven and there are no
competitors’ tokens in sight, you still aren’t safe! You
have to move your token the exact amount of eyes on
your dice. So say Eldis, after finally getting her token to
circle the board again, is standing right in front of her
safe haven. It’s the final token she has to play, all oth-
er three tokens are placed neatly on the blue B, C and
D. She’s only one spot away from A, surely her next roll
would let her in? But no! For she can only get to space
A if she rolls exactly a 1. Because she has to move her
token exactly the number of eyes on the dice, if she
throws a 5 that would be (1) A - (2) B [occupied] - (3) C
[occupied] - (4) D [occupied, end of the board so back in
reverse] - (5) C [occupied]. And whilst Eldis is rolling and
rolling and never getting a 1, Starflash is quickly ap-
proaching with her tokens to kick Eldis off the board!
Not all hope is lost for Eldis, however, for she is allowed to
move the tokens in her safe haven. Although it is not wise
for her to allow her tokens to exit the safe haven, she can,
with her 5, move the token occupying B: (1) C [occupied] -
(2) D [occupied] - (3) C [occupied] - (4) B [where it started]
- (5) A [still free!]. Next round, B will be free and she will
have to throw either a 2 or a 6 [A-B-C-D-C-B] to get her final
token safely home, as long as Starflash doesn’t kick her
off the board before then!
Like I said, fun for the entire family. Make sure all knives
are safely locked up in the cupboard and give your wands
to a non-playing person for safekeeping, just in case some-
one has to be reminded of the name of the game…
67
 QUIBBLER INSERT

68
Game Info:
• Made for 2 - 4 Players
• 4 colour-matching tokens per player
• A 6-sided Die

Goal:
• Move all tokens from the ‘home base’ to the ‘safe
haven’ first

Rules:
• Each player starts in ‘home base’ (four circles in the
corner)

• Start with the youngest player, then go clockwise

• To place a piece on the board, a player must roll a 6

• Piece starts at the letter of their colour. Pieces move

clockwise around the entire board on the white marks

• You can only move one piece at a time

• A player is allowed to have multiple pieces on the board

at the same time

• Only one piece per mark.

Another player may ‘capture’ a spot by landing on
the same mark. The captured piece is sent back to the
‘home base’ and must start over.

• After going around the entire board, a piece can attempt

to enter the ‘safe haven’.

• Players can only enter their own ‘safe havens’.

• A piece can ONLY enter the safe haven if the exact num-
ber required to get into the safe haven is rolled. Pieces
can move within the safe haven.
•Pieces can move outside of their safe haven in
order to allow more movement choices, but cannot go
around the board a second time. This also means the
piece is vulnerable to a ‘capture’.
 Toliver’s selective use of graceful yet brusque dic-
tion brings forth a sense of imperturbability that
can be seen throughout the entirety of the text of
Spectra. I found this series of poems to be emo-
tive in a way that invokes a certain complexity
of poignancy. After reading the striking premier
poem ‘Kinesis’ The ‘Housekeeping’ portion of
the book forthwith absorbed me even more as a
reader. The concept of using the same title for
a number of poems with similar structures yet
eclectic content gives the apportionment a sub-
stantial concreteness and perspicuous structure
while simultaneously refraining from circularity
and superfluity. Nevertheless, the poems posses
an unfaltering coherence that makes the body of
the ‘Housekeeping’ poems emphatic and articu-
lated. For example, if I were to adopt a single line
from each ‘Housekeeping’ poem and amalgamate
them into a single poem despite their variance, I
result in a poem in keeping with Toliver’s quintes-
sence and tenor:

“Pull all the maps aside./ There’s something

Image © Coffee House Press
we’ve left behind, but not in the way you’d
think./Inside an ordinary room our bodies
flatten and spread over the furniture like
breakers catching the last of the sun./You
move as I move, whistling measure in salt
grass, patient and guarded processions./ Say
I dry heave at luxury, placating asphalt for
rarer tricks of the light./I go on gargling with
port wine, heavy dashes of clipped lulla-
by./I’m doing it already, see me, I’m pulling
all the shredded lace down, quitting in the
middle of a song./At night I place oil all over
the door hooks to make for swifter leaving./
Awake again during cemetery hours I hunt
for our vows in all the outspoken positions./
To hear you speak is one of the finer prisms

SPECTRA
hanging the knife-board in secret./The mu-
sic comes through or it won’t, though you listen in harvest
proportions./Neck-deep in your broken-bell stature a grin
rips out to cross the chalk./Swell and a ghost between,

BOOK REVIEW like some perfected anchor leached into the drinking wa-
ter: crease in the filigree, mild grace in execution.”

On reading Ashley Toliver’s Spectra I was immediately im- As engaging as the ‘Housekeeping’ poems were, my favorite
pressed with the gravity of the heterogeneity and exceptional part of the collection was ‘Ideal Machine’. ‘Ideal Machine’ is a
creativity that ignites this collection of poems. The book does synthesis that evinces a salient, self-possessed, fastidious, and
not hesitate to awe, with the first lines of the opening poem, inventive aesthetic. Toliver uses spacing between words,
‘Kinesis’, being
“I wanted to see an indeli-
“Though all bird-legged creatures ble edge
fear a line lit in-
the same distance, it is instinct side the mind-
that pulls your hands inside me
them to standing. In the museum then lemon
their bodies like sea glass, an as- braincells glittering
tonishment.” like night geodes
reeling and numinous-“

70
 which gives the text a lofty, aloof character while establishing a in a work of poetry. Toliver paints a rapturing picture of the
definitive pace and order. Not only does Toliver utilize uncon- ailments of critical illness:
ventional spacing between words, but her line breaks and line
placement on the page are visually diverting and ruminative. “singing through my brain
Toliver writes, my face
lure you wait
“I gather shadows flat under the operating
what’s left lights
legs curled to pills
one after another scissor to flower to bone”

in this universe Ultimately, I found Spectra to be an inspiring book and Toliver
several species of matter to be an inspiring person. The imaginative, introspective, con-
de- templative, bold, and daring nature of the poems in this collec-
stroy matter tion is nothing short of prodigious. Ashley Toliver has motivat-
in long conversation ed my writing and thinking a great extent as I am consistently
mosses unbraid the trees astounded at the brilliance of her craft. Her ingenuity is a
from constant inspiration that encourages my insight, venture, and
themselves zeal. I believe that part of Toliver’s brilliance is that her writing
is profoundly unlike the work of any other poet. Her artistry
earth into air into space is entirely original, eclectic, and full of innovation and pure
where something else was ingeniousness. Toliver’s work Spectra changed the way I think
about diction, content, context, and coherency, while always
we are never in admiration of her unprecedented and complex techniques.
not alone A notable poem from the SPECTRA collection that exhibits
we are never not alone” these qualities is a piece entitled “The Loomstress Loses Her
Lineage” due to its thoughtfulness and intuitive evocations.
The ingenuity of the form of ‘Ideal Machine’, written cogita- Toliver writes,
tively across the spectrum of a considerable chapter, can also
be seen in the third and final portion of Spectra, aptly titled “will he stretch the bit
‘Spectra’. ‘Ideal Machine’, however, is nonpareil in content and urchin husband
form for not only is it written so expressively at length, but when she is a bridge receding the
within the text of the poem at large are pages of dedicated river
personalization, such as the opening page simply stating
will he wade out of the bedroom
“dear daughter you lived-“. now refusing

Moreover, throughout ‘Ideal Machine’ there are illustrations of when the minute folds over and
pelvic bones and butterflies, which bear a striking resemblance she stands
to another, followed lastly by a picture of a brain. These images outside it a snap in the violin
are germane in respect to the written content that corresponds neck”
with them. For example, the author frequently uses medical
terminologies, such as, In accordance with the totality of Toliver’s unparalleled oeuvre,
it is evident anyone would find her writing salient, sagacious,
“dear optic nerve and phenomenally exquisite, qualities vital to any work of exalt-
dear crushed penny ed and awe-inspiring poetry.
in the dark I watch explosions
axons fir-
ing like mortars
I count
them” --------------------------------

Throughout Spectra Ashley Toliver illuminates her history with

medical battles which imposes an entirely new magnitude to
the substance of the content of Spectra at large. I was moved
by her riveting experience of coping with and recovering Works Cited
from a tragic ailment during a pivotal time in her life, specif- Toliver, Ashley. Spectra. Minneapolis: Coffee House
ically that of which she was arduously writing poetry. The Press, 2018. Print.
references to medical devastations produce a nuanced per-
spective on the subject matter that can artfully be constituted

71
 QUIBBLER INSERT
(Christmas Movie Recommendations)
A
recent study of Muggleborn Mages uncov-
ered a time-honored Christmas tradition of
sitting together in a family unit of any con-
figuration and watching movies that stretch
the imagination on what Christmas can or should
mean. It's a time to reflect, to think about the people
in your life that you love and to express how much
you care about them in the spirit of togetherness.It is
also a time to wear comfortable sleepwear and sip hot
chocolate while sharing stories of Christmases gone
by. Some even choose this time to share oral histories
of their families, and ensure that the memories live on
in the youth. How delightful!
It's always important to provide an avenue of adding
new types of joy into our households. Without the use
of magic, muggles have been able to provide some-
thing close to it through this medium. In the interest of
those wizards and witches who would like to adopt this
interesting concept - viewing of Muggle media in their
own homes or Burrow- we have listed our top three
picks of movies to watch during the Holidays. Take a
look and see if any of them piques your fancy: be sure
to let us know how it went!
The Polar Express
The Polar Express is an animated movie, and for
those who are unaware, animation in the Muggle
world is similar to photographs that exist in the Wizard-
ing World with an important caveat, they are moving
drawings as opposed to real figures. The movie begins
with a young boy on Christmas Eve who boards a train
called the Polar Express after hearing its sound in the
distance. He learns that the train is heading to the
North Pole- the home of Santa Claus. Santa Claus is
the Muggle way of describing Father Christmas, who
unfortunately was sighted giving gifts as he owns a
temporary Invisibility Cloak that does not fully protect a
person from view. After paying his fines to the Minis-
try of Magic, he was given a special dispensation to
provide a set number of gifts and to this day receives
new technology from the Unspeakables to continue
his yearly Gift Giving.
72
The young boy joins up with three other youths and
they collectively encounter situations that test them
emotionally. They end up meeting Santa Claus and
it is interesting to see how the directors and writers
of this movie conceptualize the idea and workings
of Santa Claus. One of the interesting parts of the
movie is that the payoff that most are accustomed to
seeing isn’t really there. Nothing particularly life alter-
ing happens to the extent of the movie forcing you to
suspend your disbelief at the conclusion, which I ap-
preciate. However, what the movie truly excels in is
the interactions, dialogue of characters, the way they
react to situations... any viewer could see themselves
in every character.
An important tenet of the movie is Belief, believing in
yourself and believing in others. It's the same kind of
belief that empowers you to complete spells success-
fully, the kind of spark that makes a potion turn just
the right shade of blue. In essence, the belief not only
of things that are seen but an enduring one that lasts
even when you aren't able to remember that you saw
it. Again, the rich storytelling makes this event suit-
able for all ages.
In terms of viewing, the movie just looks beautiful;
it takes risks and comes together in ways that are
unexpected, but still provide an immersive experience
all the same. The skill needed to pull it all off is evident
and it's obvious that artistic decisions are made to
enhance the somatic quality and bring life to objects.
It rates an Outstanding, just like the other movies we
have to share with you.
How The Grinch Stole Christmas
How the Grinch Stole Christmas is an adaptation by a
very famous Muggle author. In this case, the story is
told through the point of view of the villain. The main
character, known as the Grinch, comes off as an irrita-
ble grouch who lives in a cave. His primary motivation
is that he hates Christmas, and that is very clear from
his isolation with only a dog for company. From his do-
micile, he can hear the festivities/parties that are tak-

ing place in a town near him called Whoville populated
by the kind Whos. Partly due to his anger and annoy-
ance at being disturbed day and night, he hatches a
plot to steal all the food, presents, trees, and decora-
tions from all denizens of the town. At a certain point
in his journey, he wakes up a child while stealing her
tree. When asked about his actions, he comes up with
a convenient lie and continues on his plot to steal all
of the items from every home in the village. He goes
to the top of a mountain to toss it all into an abyss but
learns that the Whos were not sad about losing all of
their items like he expected. Instead they began sing-
ing Christmas carols. It confuses the Grinch until he
realizes that the Whos care more about being together
than feasting on food stuffs and opening presents.
After realizing this, he decides to bring back all of their
presents and participates in the Christmas feast.
Telling it from the Grinch’s point of view is the main
selling point of the film. Through the course of it, some
even empathize with the character and think more on
the events that led him on this path. While compassion
and care is not the surefire solution to bringing happi-
ness to a grouch, it sure can go a long way.
The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Nightmare Before Christmas is an interesting
movie that combines the holidays of Halloween and
Christmas into a New Age animated fantasy. The story
takes place in Halloween Town- a world filled with
monsters and other beings that are associated with
the holiday. We are introduced to Jack Skellington,
who is respected by many who live in Halloween town
and regarded as the “Pumpkin King”, and his role is to
lead the town in Halloween celebrations. What we also
learn is that he is tired of repeating the same actions
and festivities every year and is readily awaiting some
kind of change in his schedule. He spends time alone
and while reflecting on his mood, he comes across a
smattering of trees that contain doors leading to towns
representing other holidays. He enters the door that
leads him to Christmas Town. He is taken aback by
the holiday and returns to Halloween Town, sharing
what he has seen but the residents of Halloween Town
do not understand. He hides himself away and studies
Christmas intimately to find a way to explain it better to
the citizens of Halloween Town.
INSERT QUIBBLER
His final decision is that Christmas Town should not
be able to celebrate the holiday and keep it to them-
selves and that the citizens of Halloween Town should
take over Christmas that year. In hatching this plot,
Jack gives roles to all who live in Halloween Town that
are Christmas themed- such as making presents or
building a sleigh. He tasks some with abducting Santa
and bringing him to Halloween Town. He is so sure
that his plan is right that he doesn’t listen to detrac-
tors. Through some turn of events, Santa ends up in
the hands of the main villain of the movie. Some in
Halloween Town realize that what Jack is planning is
not right, but the villain captures them as well. Jack
poses as Santa and delivers Halloween style gifts that
terrify and attack the residents of Halloween Town.
The military of Christmas Town shoots down Jack and
while he survives, he realizes that he was wrong and
his idea of spreading joy the only way he knew how to
Christmas Town was ill-advised. In the end, Jack res-
cues Santa who quickly replaces the Halloween style
presents and gives Halloween Town a snowfall for the
residents to enjoy.
What really works about this film is that it also has
music that advances the story. Song is a very popular
storytelling device and can convey emotions very well.
It is also animated, giving the directors of the movie
more room to play with the actions of characters and
not be limited to human movement. In the Muggle
world, the story has somewhat of a fanatic following.
Many will either dress up as characters or play the mu-
sic on both holidays. It's very interesting to see what
kinds of media the Muggle world holds up as the peak
of creativity but I think we’re in agreement on this.
Another common theme is the idea of wanting to do
something right and when you realize that you were
wrong, adjusting your behavior. Many of these shows
and movies do their best to explain why what some-
one did was wrong and the consequences of their
actions. It imparts a life lesson of being accountable,
of making amends. It's a perfect way to wrap up either
holiday season.
by mjenious
73
 QUIBBLER INSERT

74
75
76
 life on the line. A few of the people gave in and
allowed The Dragon to work his magic and rit-
uals. The next day, the same people would walk

THE LETTER back into the Wizarding World - incapacitated

and vulnerable.

When Neil started getting the letters, he tried to

The piece of parchment read: con the man. He set up traps and charms at the
venue The Dragon was supposed to meet him at.
You are running out of time. You know what to do. Being an Auror, he thought it his duty to catch
Outskirts of the Forbidden Forest at 4:39 am The Dragon for good. Enough of the letters,
tomorrow. enough of the threats. The first time he tried do-
ing that, his house was set on fire. Neil reached
This is your last chance. it in time to extinguish it, but The Dragon had
made it clear he wouldn’t play tricks. His new
XO few attempts resulted in the same manner.
The Dragon
After jumping from coun-
try to country, he had got-
The words burned brightly
ten his fourth letter.
on the paper and dread
pulsed through Neil’s
Neil stared at the letter in his
veins. The Dragon knew
hand and watched the words
where he was, which wasn’t
slowly fade away. He knew the
a good thing. What more
routine. The words would now
did he want?
be visible a few hours before
his meeting and then disap-
The Dragon had been sending
pear forever. He remem-
letters to Neil for a month. He
bered the words of a fellow
wasn’t the first to receive such
Auror and immediately sent
letters. Many witches and
the details of their meeting
wizards across the world
to the Ministry. Hopefully
claimed to have received
there would be backup and they’d be
them too. If the letter wasn’t heeded, sometimes
able to get The Dragon.
The Dragon would track down people himself
and do what was necessary. It usually didn’t end
Neil armed up and went through all he knew
well for that person, unless a miracle was in play.
about The Dragon. He was always clad in
crimson and a black cloak. He also wore a mask
The Dragon wanted magic from people, and
(which made him look like a dragon) to hide his
he would go to any means to get it done. He
face. Nobody knew his name and he was always
believed in the myths that it was possible to
addressed as ‘The Dragon’. If you were a minute
extract magic from a person and drain them
late he’d be angrier than usual. He knew every-
from their magical abilities. Then he could
thing and could break into minds as easily as a
transfer that magic to himself, becoming more
knife slicing through butter.
powerful. To do so, one has to follow specific
instructions and perform the ritual accurately.
He was dangerous, to say the least. But the
It takes a lot of practice and The Dragon was
Aurors were well-equipped and perhaps more
able to get his share.
dangerous. If they acted at the right moment,
they would be able to get him. That hope drove
He would threaten individuals and would even
the Aurors to this meeting, the hope of saving
go as far as holding someone hostage with their
many more lives.

77
 None of them slept that night, and they were
wide awake at four-thirty. With pounding hearts,
they Apparated to a place close to the For-
bidden Forest. Neil reached the forest first.
Though it took some time to get through the
magical charms cast by Hogwarts (they asked
the school to weaken them for a few seconds),
he arrived in one piece.
His fellow Aurors blended in with Disillusion-
ment Charms. Everyone awaited The Dragon,
and, sure enough, he arrived at four thirty-nine
as promised.
“Let’s make this quick, Neil. You know
what I want.”
Neil didn’t say anything but pulled out his wand.
The Aurors around him did the same. They
intended to duel The Dragon to death, but little
did they know of his powers.
had to do was reach there and Apparate back
to the Ministry.
His legs were burning and he was aware of the
man chasing him. He’d be able to catch up but
Neil had no option. He cast an ice spell so The
Dragon would slip and a jinx that would lower
his senses. That kept him at bay for a minute or
so, but gave the other one time to sprint away.
A couple more spells and he was able to reach a
safe spot for Apparition.
Just like that both Neil and The Dragon escaped.
The Dragon is still around with a big price on his
head. Neil is off the radar, hopefully keeping low
and out of the news. We don’t know where The
Dragon is, but keep an eye out for letters. If you
do receive one like Neil’s, owl the Ministry.
A day after the incident somewhere in the For-
bidden Forest a parchment was found that said:

The Dragon shook his head and chuckled, “I Nice try. I’m impressed, Neil. I’m after you.
also know you. I can see the Aurors surrounding I’m an enemy, but here’s some advice.
me. I’m not blind, you know.” Run.

At that moment, a lot happened. Neil cried out XO

and shot a Stunner at The Dragon. The Aurors The Dragon
were temporarily blinded by a spell cast by the
man who narrowly dodged the Stunning Spell.

The Dragon started duelling Neil and cast -Milomi10

Body-Binding Spells at all the Aurors. Spell after
spell, some being shouted out, others non-verbal.
Each one flying past in a blaze of colour as the
duel became tougher to follow.

Having more magic in him, The Dragon was

starting to win. Neil had backed up to a tree
and gasped when the other man cast the Cru-
ciatus Curse on him. He screamed in agony but
nobody was around to help him. Threats es-
caped his opponent’s mouth and tears escaped
the other’s eyes.

Neil slackened as the curse wore off and start-

ed thinking on his feet. The Dragon wasn’t
going to leave him and there was no way he’d
be able to beat him. The next best thing to do
was to escape death. He started running as fast
as he could to the nearest boundary. All he

78
 INSERT QUIBBLER

The
E L E G Y
of
E L D I S
Potatoes are the grounds heart given life
Made so many ways enjoyed in just one
Eldis chooses fake and her work is done
But weep do I feel for her taste in strife
For when food to cause joy falls under knife
Exiled are the spuds she chooses to shun
She knows not the glory from which she run
The spuds missing that make joyous taste rife
know her pain her loss blind to what it wrought
Brilliant in mind yet deceived by instant
Befuddled by the falsehoods she has bought
But there is a hope for her but distant
for she is grace and nothing but brilliant
she will eat true spuds soon I insist it

Note: Eldis insists on making her mashed spuds from nothing but powder and
water. Make of this what you will.

79
 QUIBBLER INSERT

At first I’m plain and empty,

When I’ve been used I can be popular with the gentry,
You’ll eventually see me on a wall,
If I was owned by someone famous - you could receive a substantial windfall,
With me you’ll need all your creativity,
If you like my end product - it’s all based on subjectivity.
What am I?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S. however similar this may be to other riddles out there I created it myself for you!

Answer is an unused (or empty) canvas.

80
INSERT QUIBBLER

81
Fantastic Beasts 3
Updates

82
W
ith poor reviews and poor box office sales, the
third movie in the pre-series will make or break
the Fantastic Beast series. With the current
muggle pandemic still taking hold of the world, the next
film in the 5-part series has once again been pushed
back, not having the film released in 2022 for the safety
of all those involved.
However, there is more news, which many fans of the wiz-
arding world will be happy about. Johnny Depp, who played
Gellert Grindelwald in the first two films, will be stepping
down from the role. He has been losing popularity in recent
years and has been dealing with many legal issues. Warner
Bros. has said that Depp only had time to film one scene
before he was let go.
The main issue is that WB was legally obligated to pay
Depp $16 million, whether he appeared in the film or not.
This shows that there is a great deal of money going
to the film, which is already worrisome for a franchise
that does not seem to be doing well. On top of that, The
Crimes of Grindelwald made less than any of the Harry
Potter films or even the first Fantastic Beasts movie.
But with Grindelwald such a key character, and the main
villain in the 5-film series, he can’t just disappear. And
WB does not want to cut the series back down to two-
three films as that would mess up what they have going
on in the story. With Grindelwald’s story so crucial to the
series, the only option is to recast.
Enter Mads Mikkelsen, star of the NBC show Hanni-
bal, where he plays the iconic Hannibal Lecter. Fans
are hoping that he will allow the special backstory and
unique personality to come forward so that Grindelwald
can be set apart from Voldemort. Depp’s portrayal of
Dumbledore’s greatest advisory left fans feeling that the
true story was not being represented well. Grindelwald
seemed to be well versed in magic and intimidation, but
that was not all he was and certainly not what made
his story so compelling to readers. Now, Mikkelsen has
a chance to bring the charisma that he is known for to
Grindelwald and bring the true story to light.
But this brings another problem to light. How will WB and
their writers explain the sudden change to the character’s
appearance? The great thing is that there are a number
of ways to explain this away, from a potion to a spell to
a magical accident. This may mean that the scene Depp
filmed was the very scene explaining the change. However,
this is unknown at this time.
Still, fans are eagerly awaiting for the relationship between
Dumbledore and Grindelwald to finally be explored. We have
seen small glimpses into this but have yet to see the deep
relationship between the two men. Moreover, we will see
why Grindelwald and Voldemort are very different villains
within the same universe.
As many fans know, there are several differences between
the villains.
• Voldemort wanted to destroy all muggles and mug-
gle-borns. Grindelwald wanted to expose wizardkind to
the world.
• Voldemort used fear to intimidate those around him,
causing only vile wizards and witches to follow him.
Grindelwald, however, used truth that he had twisted
to gain followers, many of whom thought that he was
revealing some great, hidden mystery.
• Voldemort would not get his hands dirty, but use the
Imperius Curse to gain spies in the Ministry. Grindel-
wald was more than willing to go to the front lines and
do, himself, what was necessary.
• Voldemort was an enemy that each reader and/or view-
er could easily identify as evil. Grindelwald is more gray
in that respect… a dark gray.
• Voldemort would kill easily and often. Grindelwald
would kill, but it was not his first course of action.
• Voldemort was straight forward in his approach.
Grindelwald played a game of wizards' chess with his
decisions.
• Voldemort was frenetic. Grindelwald was calculating.
In comparing the two, we can see how they differ in their
methods and ideals. Voldemort was the terrorist and Grin-
delwald was the dirty politician - two very different kinds of
evil. While one used fear, the other used reasoning.
Fans are hoping that Mikkelsen will dive deeper into that
dark logic within Grindelwald and the relationship between
him and Dumbledore in Fantastic Beasts 3, but only time
will tell if he is a good fit for the 2022 film.
83
 QUIBBLER INSERT
<The Potter's First Christmas>
December 25, 2005
Ginny was no girly girl, but she did love wearing a little
makeup on special occasions. And of course, it always
made her heart flutter when Harry told her that her eyes
were “exceptionally brilliant today”.
This morning definitely counted as a special occasion.
Little James was just 5 months old and it was Christmas.
The newly established Potter family’s first Christmas
together. Harry, Ginny, and James. Ginny glanced at her re-
flection in the mirror and brushed a tear away. She laughed
softly to herself, shaking her head and turning away. She
wasn’t a crier.
As she opened the bathroom door, she heard a great giggle
erupt from her son’s lips down the hall in the living room,
followed by Harry’s deeper laugh. “And… peekaboo!” She
heard her husband say excitedly. More giggles.
Ginny followed the merry sounds to the living room where
Harry had James on the floor, mid-diaper change. She
leaned on the door frame and watched the pair, a smile
playing on her lips. “Who could have guessed that you
would be such a baby person?” Ginny quipped playfully from
where she stood.
He glanced up and froze, staring at her. “Merlin… Gin, you
look brilliant,” he breathed, eyes fixed on his wife.
She didn’t blush, but a twinkle appeared in her eye. “You
don’t look too shabby yourself. Although, you’d better go
84
shave. Mum’ll have a fit if you come over looking like a dog
and you know it.”
Harry quickly finished up with James and picked up the
squirming baby, standing. “I thought you liked me with a
beard,” he pouted, sticking his bottom lip out dramatically
and walking over to her.
Rolling her eyes, she pecked him on the scruffy cheek,
scooping James from his arms. “I said I’d let you try it out.
Experiment over. Go shave!” She laughed at his face. “It
isn’t just you who’ll suffer Mum’s fit. I don’t need her com-
menting on my home-making and husband-rearing, Harry
James Potter!” She hip bumped him out of the room and he
relented, heading to the bathroom.
Ginny took her wand off the kitchen counter and whipped
up a sling so that James sat tucked against her back, cosy
and out of the way.
Molly and Arthur had insisted on the family coming over
to the Burrow for Christmas, and the couple had happily
obliged. Their parent’s positively adored little James, and
took every chance possible to see and coddle the infant.
Hermione and Ron were to spend the day at the Grangers’,
much to Molly’s dismay.
“If you two were married, it would be one thing! But you
are only engaged! And you’ve been that way for the past
three years!”

Hermione was determined to be settled in her career be-
fore marrying, and Ron was fine just knowing the wedding
would happen eventually.
If it was any consolation, Fleur and Bill, as well as the
extended Delacour family, would be there today. Also
accounted for were Andromeda Tonks and Teddy Lupin,
George, Angelina and their two children, Percy and Audrey,
and Charlie, the forever bachelor. It would by no means be
an empty house.
Humming a holiday jingle, Ginny pulled the casserole she
was bringing from the fridge and placed it into a bag. Sup-
posing a gift of wine might go over well with her dad, Ginny
pulled a nice bottle from a cabinet above the stove and
placed it gently in the bag as well.
“Harry, are you rea-” she began to call, but before she
finished, his arms were suddenly around her waist and she
yelped. “You’re as bad as the twins, Harry! Don’t apparate in
the house!”
She had to admit, though, he did smell good. The after-
shave coming off of him was one of her favorite smells, and
her heart melted a little.
“Yes, I’m ready,” he grinned. “Floo powder, yeah?”
“Yeah. Will you go get the presents from under the tree for
me? The ones for the family?”
He nodded, and it was just a moment before they were off.
As expected, the Burrow was bursting with noise: bangs
and laughter, the clatter of pans and the whir of children’s
toys. James began to cry, but it was short-lived. The
Potters were stepping out of the hearth one moment and
embraced by family the next.
Fleur had taken James from Ginny’s back, comforting him
with happy coos. Ugh. She was such a perfect mother.
“Ginny! Harry, dear!” Mrs. Weasley (the original) came
bustling through the crowd of younger children to embrace
her daughter and son-in-law. “So glad the two of you could
come! Oh, Harry, dear you look wonderful! Ginny! Lost the
baby fat already! Well, I didn’t expect anything else from
our Quidditch star! Oh, Happy Christmas! Where’s James?”
She’d lost attention for the couple already and had joined
Fleur in coddling the newest grandchild.
Harry dropped the stack of presents under the giant tree
and put a hand at Ginny’s back, following her into the kitch-
en. “Arthur! Happy Christmas!” Harry said jovially, seeing his
father-in-law leaning against the counter drinking eggnog.
INSERT QUIBBLER
Ginny hurried to her dad and kissed him on the cheek as
the men shook hands. “Harry my boy, how are you? How
were the muggles yesterday? Ginny told me you went over
there to spend Christmas Eve!”
Harry grimaced, glancing at Ginny. Yes, they’d gone to see
Dudley and his tiny wife. It had been the most awkward
dinner Harry had experienced in years. He wanted to make
it work with his cousin, one of his last living relatives, but
it had been a rough night.
“Yeah, yeah we went to see Dudley. It was nice. Very
good turkey.” Harry cleared his throat and Ginny changed
the subject.
“Are George and Angie here yet, Dad? I saw the kids in the
living room?”
“Ah yes, I believe they are in the sitting room through there.
Andromeda is coming too, but she is not here yet. I’m afraid
Teddy is giving her some real trouble.”
Ginny rushed out to see her brother and Harry gave a small
smile. Teddy was perhaps the rowdiest 7-year-old Harry
had ever met. “Auntie Dromeda is a strong witch. I have no
worries she can handle him.”
“Nor do I!” chuckled Arthur, clapping Harry on the shoulder
and beginning to talk at length about work.
The day passed them by in a jolly fashion. Harry and
George led the the older kids outside to play “ground-quid-
ditch”, where the two men flew around on either side as
keepers, and the kids ran on the grass, throwing footballs
painted maroon to each other and attempting to get the
“quaffles” past their uncles and into a goal. Of course,
George and Harry went easy on them, and the score ended
with the children scoring 23 points, and little Roxanne
throwing quite the temper tantrum that she was too
small to throw a ball.
While the boys distracted them, the women sat in the
sitting room drinking tea and talking, and Arthur, Bill, Percy,
Mrs. Delacour and Charlie finished up dinner. The girls had
nearly roped Molly to her chair to keep her from the kitchen.
They’d insisted that once a year, she needed a break from
the kitchen, and that the men would do just fine whipping
up a great Christmas supper.
Ginny glanced around, biting her lip. She rubbed her stom-
ach, which was swollen and hidden beneath an oversized
Christmas jumper. How was she to tell everyone about the
little boy in her womb? It had been barely 5 months since
James was born and she and Harry had decided to wait to
tell the family (besides Ron and Hermione, of course) about
85
 QUIBBLER INSERT
baby #2 until now. And, after her mum’s outburst about
Ginny losing weight, she was lost as to how to break this
news. Standing slowly, she told the ladies she was going
to check on the boys outside and went to find Harry.
Harry was doubled over, pretending to wheeze as the kids
laughed at him.
“Harry? Can I see you? Real quick.”
Harry glanced up and his green eyes clouded with worry.
He jumped up and left the kids to Uncle George, striding
over to his wife. “Something wrong, Gin? Is it the baby?” he
whispered, glancing down at her stomach.
“In a way. I think we ought to tell the family. Now.”
Harry pursed his lips and wrapped his arms around her. “You
sure? Baby boy’ll be here before James is even walking…”
“If we wait any longer, mum’ll never forgive us. I think it’s
time. Besides, it’s getting harder to conceal this bump.”
He nodded slowly. “It’s your choice. Let’s do it then, right?”
She took his hand from her waist and intertwined their
fingers. “Let’s do it.”
Walking together into the sitting room, they called the
men from the kitchen. “Harry and I have some news,” Ginny
started, more nervous than usual.
Molly was quick to interrupt. “You aren’t moving. No, I knew
it! I knew it, you are moving away from your dear mum and-”
Ginny held up a hand, stopping her mother. “Mum. No, we
are not moving away.”
Molly pulled James closer in her lap, mouth shutting quickly.
“Harry and I are pregnant again.”
The surprise and delight in the room was tangible.
“How wonderful!”
“Another!”
86
“Boy or girl?”
“Someone was busssssyyyyy!”
Arthur was the only one silent. When he spoke, everyone
fell silent. “When is the baby due? July, like James?”
Harry glanced down at his wife and spoke. “Er- no. April.
He’s due April.”
Mouths fell open throughout the cramped room.
“Four months from now? You are teasing your mother, Har-
ry. April?” Molly clucked, shaking her head.
Ginny smoothed the jumper over her stomach, showing for
the first time her decent sized baby bump. “Harry is not
making a joke. We waited so long to tell you all because…
well, because it’s so soon after James. But we are excited
just the same. We’ve already picked out his name and we
are just thrilled. Honestly.”
Fleur was the first to rise and hug Ginny. “Ow wonderful, Gin-
ny! I am so excited for you and ‘Arry! Anozer baby on ze way!”
As if given permission, the excitement broke forth again
and congratulations filled the room. Even Molly and Arthur
could not hide their pleasure.
“Well. two children under the age of one is not easy. I think
you ought to stay here for a while after the birth so I can
help you, Ginny. Harry, dear, I insist your family stay. I will
not take no for an answer.” Molly said matter of factly,
bouncing James on her knee and smiling at the couple.
Harry and Ginny shared a look with each other.
If only 10-year-old Harry Potter could see him today. He had
a family. A loving, giant, loud, caring family. Harry would not
trade this giant family of his for anything.
As if reading his mind, Ginny stood on tiptoe and kissed
him, reaching up and putting a hand on his cheek. “I love
you,” she whispered in his ear.
“And I love you. Happy Christmas, Ginny.”
“Happy Christmas, Harry.”
INSERT QUIBBLER

87
 QUIBBLER INSERT

88
 INSERT QUIBBLER

By Meddleofmycause

89
 QUIBBLER INSERT

This book series is geared towards teen readers and follows a crime fighting young tiger and rhino as they solve some of the
most mysterious crimes in the Pacific Northwest of America. Though the two have an unconventional partnership and crime-
solving methodology, they always eventually catch the perpetrator(s). We here at the Quibbler have been lucky enough to get a
sample of the first chapter of the first novel in the series. You can read it below, and then go pick it up in your local bookstore!
Ratchet and Rhink - Sweet Slice of Justice is available now at Flourish and Blotts.

90
It was a cold, brisk Fall day when detectives Ratchet and Rhink appeared on the sidewalk in Bend,
Oregon. The sun was shining bright overhead, but a gentle breeze sent a cool chill down the detectives'
backs.
“What are we here for again?” snapped Ratchet, the smaller of the two detectives. They were shivering
and apparently grumpy at being awoken from their late-morning nap to investigate a crime scene.
Rhink, a large Rhino with saggy grey skin rolled his blue eyes, “I dunno detective. I thought it was to
investigate crime but maybe it's to pick up a cake.”
Ratchet's head perked up at that, their pink tongue darting out to lick their nose, “Cake? I love cake!”
they replied excitedly, bounding forward towards the blue house in front of them.
“Merlin's beard, how are you a detective? Yes, we're here to investigate a murder. Look at you, maybe
you should consider laying off the cake and you might actually be able to catch a criminal.”
Ratchet let out a hiss and turned to face Rhink, “Listen. I will work with you, but it is not okay for you
to insult my cake habit.”
Rhink rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement, and the two continued towards the house. When they
reached the door, it was to find it locked.
“That’s odd,” Ratchet said in confusion. “Shouldn’t whoever first responded still be here to let us in?”
“Yeah…” Rhink agreed, looking around to see if there were any other cruisers in the area. “Let me radio
back the station, make sure we have the correct address.”
Ratchet nodded their agreement before beginning to circle the house, trying to see if there were any
clues around the outside of the small home. The back door was also locked and no one answered when
they knocked. Ratchet was just about to go check on Rhink when something, moving at the corner of
their vision, caught their attention. They looked up, thinking they saw a bird’s wing, but realized the
movement was from a curtain swaying in the breeze out of an open attic window. Shaking their head,
they walked back around to the front of the house. Ratchet, now standing again with Rhink, looked
around in confusion.
“Hear back from the station?” they asked.
“Yeah, they said this is the correct address. Apparently CSU hasn’t made it out yet and the Uni who
was supposed to stay here isn’t answering her radio.” Rhink replied hesitantly, trying to look around
the house himself.
“Oh…” Ratchet said, looking around in confusion. “Should we… Should we wait? Or call for backup?”
“I mean… I don’t hear anything going on inside. It’s probably fine. It sounds like the only resident of the
house is the deceased…” Rhink said, hooves stamping impatiently.
“Alright,” Ratchet replied, “Well… I guess you should break down the door.”
“Me?” Rhink asked incredulously, “Why should I break it down?”
“Oh, I dunno. Maybe I just don’t feel like it,” Ratchet said with a roll of their eye, “Or. Maybe. Just
maybe, because I weigh 70 pounds soaking wet and you happen to weigh a literal ton? I feel like
maybe, just maybe, you have a bit more upper body strength than I do.”

91
 “Oh, so I should have to do the extra paperwork for breaking a door because you don’t believe in going
to the gym?” Rhink scoffed, tossing his head back before glaring down at the tiger cub.
Ratchet groaned, “You know that’s not what I meant. I’ll fill out the damn paperwork you lazy sod. I
just physically can’t do it.”
“Well,” Rhink said dismissively, “then I guess we’re just going to wait to find out what happened to the
Uni who was supposed to be here. Maybe she has a key.”
“You want to wait?!” Ratchet exclaimed. “That’s ridiculous! We need to investigate the crime scene! Try
to find the murderer!”
Rhink raised an eyebrow. “Really? You’re in a rush to go investigate?”
Ratchet looked down, shuffling their paw in the dirt, “Well… it’s almost lunch time. And I wouldn’t want
us to miss that. You know how grumpy you get when you’re hungry.
Rhink scoffed, “right, I’m the grumpy one. Not a certain tiger who tried to eat a suspect last week when
the investigation ran over time.”
“Mmmm,” Ratchet said, closing their eyes with a dreamy expression on their face. “He smelled like a
barbecue from that fire.”
Rhink gave them a concerned look before turning away. “I guess I’ll go call the station again and see if
they’ve heard back from the Uni.”
Ratchet thought carefully for a moment, “wait, I’ve just had a thought. There’s an open window on the
third floor!”
“Fantastic!” said Rhink brightly, “so how about you just fly on up there with those wings of yours and
go around to let me in, shall ya?”
“Why are you like this?” Ratchet asked, glowering. “I was thinking maybe, just maybe, you could come
around back and give me a boost?”
“Why am I like this?” Rhink repeated, stomping a hoof menacingly. “Why are you like this you weirdo?
Do you honestly think I’m going to let you use me as a ladder?”
“Don’t call me a weirdo!” Ratchet responded indignantly, “I’m sorry if you dislike that it’s convenient,
but it is. This way there’s nothing breaking, no extra paperwork, and we get out of here in a timely
manner and actually solve the murder!”
Rhink let out a large sigh, but eventually rolled his eyes. “Fine. Whatever will shut you up. Let’s go.”
They walked around to the back of the house, Rhink lumbering along behind as Ratchet pranced in front.
“I was thinking we could try that new pizza place for lunch!” Ratchet called back excitedly.
“You realize you’re about to climb through a window, into a house where you’re going to have to
navigate around a dead body in a minute, right? Why aren’t you more worried about how weird this
case already is?” Rhink asked, trying and failing to sound harsh. After all, it’s not like thinking with
their stomach was unusual for his partner.
Ratchet didn’t bother to dignify the statement with a response but padded a bit more briskly towards
the open window. They arrived under the window and Ratchet looked up at Rhink expectantly.
“Okay, so here’s what I think we should do,” Ratchet began, glowering at Rhink. “If you let me get up on
your head, then you go up on your back legs, I can get my paws up and through the window.”
Rhink looked around the window curiously, “Do you really want to do that? It’s pretty high up. I think
you’re gonna have to stretch since I can’t get you all the way up.”
Ratchet was determined, nodding their head. “Yes. Let’s just get this over with. I’m cold and I don’t
want to wait around anymore.” They flexed their front legs, getting a good stretch, “As soon as we go
back to the station though we’re filing a complaint against the officer who was supposed to be here. Bet
she went off for pizza and left us sitting out here in the cold.”
“Whatever,” Rhink replied before kneeling down.
Ratchet scrambled up Rhink’s back, trying to find purchase without using their claws. Rhinos might
have thick skin, but Ratchet knew there was no way Rhink wouldn’t yell about having his skin pierced.
As soon as Ratchet was settled on the top of Rhink’s head, the rhino lifted up, balancing his front
hooves against the second floor of the house as lightly as he could. He tilted his head forward, hoping

92
Ratchet would climb through the window quickly.
“Hurry, I don’t want to put a hole through the wall,” Rhink said, his voice straining.
Ratchet nodded quickly and leapt up, their front paws going through the open window. “Perfect!”
Ratchet exclaimed, trying to hoist themselves through.
Unfortunately, Ratchet did not have a good purchase on the attic wall. Their back legs dangled
uselessly, and they couldn’t get their gut over the threshold.
“Rhink!!” they called out. “I’m stuck!”
Rhink looked at Ratchet and sighed. “Well, what do you want me to do? Build a time machine, go back
four hours, and tell you that you don’t need that fourth donut? 'Cause, news flash, I tried that already
and you ate it anyway.”
Ratchet gasped in indignation, “Excuse you! Are you trying to imply I can’t get through this window
because I’m fat?!”
Rhink snorted, “No… of course not, Winnie the Pooh.”
Ratchet wanted to glare, but they couldn’t twist their head around to catch Rhink’s eye. “Just push me
up you jerk.”
“I can’t reach you!” Rhink replied. "That’s why you had to jump, remember?”
Ratchet thought very carefully for a moment before responding hesitantly. “Just get under me, get back
on your hindlegs, and let me push off from your horn,” they pleaded.
Rhink didn’t reply at first, and Ratchet lamented that they were likely going to die stuck halfway in an
attic window.
“My horn? Really? You want to put your paws on my HORN?!” Rhink asked furiously.
“It’s either that or I fall!” Ratched cried out in desperation, feeling the strain of holding themselves on
the windowsill starting to wear on their muscles.
“So?” Rhink asked, “cats always land on their feet, right?”
“You know full well that I am not that graceful!” Ratchet snapped, more out of fear than anger.
Rhink snorted angrily, but eventually got up on his hindlegs to acquiesce. “Fine,” he said, his voice
barely civil, “but next time, we just wait for backup. I don’t care if you starve.”
“Fine!” Ratchet called back, willing to agree to anything if it meant leaving the window behind. They
sighed in relief as they felt the thick keratin horn under their back paws.
Nimbly as they could, Ratchet pushed off, clambouring through the window. As soon as they felt their
back paws hit the attic floor, they sighed with relief.
“Alright, I’m coming down!” Ratchet called out the window, looking around the attic for a door.
They made their way downstairs carefully, trying to avoid looking through any doors in case the body
was there. One didn’t just find a body and ignore it as a detective. That was more traffic-cop-near-the-
end-of-their-shift’s style. Finally, Ratchet got to the front door and unlocked it.
“Come on in!” They hollered, feeling a weird, prickling sensation at the back of their neck.
“Finally,” Rhink replied, lumbering through the door.
The pair moved around the house carefully, Ratchet sniffing trying to find the scent of decay.
“What do you smell?” Rhink asked as he watched Ratchet’s face sour in disgust.
“I smell… blood… a lot of blood,” they replied worriedly, pointing their tail upstairs.
Rhink nodded, stepped in front of Ratchet, and walked up the stairs cautiously. He opened a door
and saw a leg stuck out from the other side of a bed. Rhink made his way over before he bristled and
turned to Ratchet.
“We need to get backup here. Now!” he exclaimed.
“Why?” Ratchet asked in alarm.
“'Cause I found our missing officer,” Rhink said sadly, “and she’s dead.”

To find out what happens next, pick up Ratchet and Rhink available exclusively at Flourish and Blotts.

93
 QUIBBLER INSERT

This November, several exchange students dragged their bags through the Hogwarts halls (No magic in the
hallways!) to their temporary beds in a different house. Amongst these students was u/SinsationalDoom,
who entered Ravenclaw with a secret plan: kidnapping all the Ravenclaw artists and forcing them to produce
stuff for the Quibbler. As Sin sat in the corner u/oomps62 noticed that this strange Snake surrounded by art
looked a bit like Tamatoa, the enormous crab from the Muggle movie Moana.

94

Well, this Quibbler hasn't always been this glam
It was a drab little mag once
Now I know you can read happy as a clam
Because it’s beautiful baby
Did your Word file say, "Listen to your pen"?
"Write what you hear on the inside"?
I need four words to tear that argument apart
Your Word file lied
INSERT QUIBBLER
I'd rather be Sin-y
Like a painting in a fancy mansion, lush
Scrub the brush and make it look Sin-y
The Quib will sparkle like a wealthy woman's neck
Just a sec, don't you know?
Words are dumb, dumb, dumb
They don’t even glitter, such beginners
Oh, and here they come, come, come
Just some black-and-white submitters,
Mmm, prompt printers
I just love free art
You look like you see art
Well, well, well
Little Quibbler’s having trouble with its look
The little semi-real-life magazine
Ouch! With so many people reading
this online book! (Y’know?)
You don’t write it like you used to, man
Yet I have to give you credit for Quib's length,
And that fun text on the inside
But without me it wouldn't be a work of art
I'll never hide, I can't
I'm too Sin-y
Watch the Quib dazzle like a diamond in the rough
Strut that art, that art is so Sin-y
Send your writers but they'll never be enough
My paint's too tough, come on guys,
You could type, type, type,
But you can't expect an editor
To beat an art-getter (that's a fact)
You will write, write, write
'Til it's time for me to set apart
My stunning art
Every edition I gather the artworks
And praise those who submit their gorgeous
creations
You try to be cool
But without my art you'll never rule
Quibbler! Now it's time to kick your scribbler
Ever seen someone so
Sin-y?
Soak it in cause it's the best you'll ever see
C'est la vie mon ami, I'm so Sin-y
Now I'll paint you art for all your written words
Bye, you nerds
You'll never be quite as Sin-y
You wish you were nice and Sin-y
The Quibbler wants you to know that this is simply
a parody, and we welcome any and all written
articles. Neither art nor articles are better than
the other and we are grateful for all submissions.
95
 QUIBBLER INSERT

96
INSERT QUIBBLER

97
 QUIBBLER INSERT

98
INSERT QUIBBLER

99
QUIBBLER FASHION

100
 INSERT QUIBBLER

Release
I have seen great heights
Looked out into the deep blue sea
Touched the horizon and tucked the memory close

I noticed one day

That everything is always different
That I was always shifting my perspective
That I was accommodating all in my space

It's easy
To want more for yourself
To dream more for yourself
To know that you deserve
Because who is undeserving?

The only thing that is undeserving

Unrelenting
The mass inside of you
That seeks to invade your space

I looked into the horizon

A Collection
And it looked into me
Told me secrets that I should’ve known
Told me that I was worth it

of Poems by
I never imagined the sky the way you do
The way it seemed to bend
Letting clouds bend and snap
Figuring out where they fit in
Let them cleanse the earth with their burdens

mjenious
Finding release the only way they know how

Have you dreamed of paradise?

Of course you have, you remember
The taste of freedom
The knowledge of joy
The crackle of fire
The reimaging of a new dawn

I found that taste

And forgot it when I awoke
I still search for it now
In the hope of passing it on

101
 QUIBBLER INSERT

Yes Sweater

Every questions has an answer The coziest sweater in the world

Some of them are so simple Lets you sink inside
Did you hear that? Lets you curl into a ball on the couch
Did you feel that? Lets you dream of hot chocolate in your mouth
Do you know who I am?
My favorite sweater
Some answers are actually so hard Smells like home
Did you hear that? Smells of Grandma’s hold
Did you feel that? Lets me remember her in years that have gone
Do you know who I am?
I think of emotions like sweaters
What if I don't want to answer? They contain so much
What if the words are actually too hard? Emotion, memory, feeling
You’ve changed my life in so many ways What a blessing to receive so much
You’ve made me feel like a person as I wake up each day From an object infused
With the joys and pains of many
I’ve always apologized
Because the words hurt too much Have you ever made your own sweater?
Hurt just enough to make me feel it Took direction from a master
To know that I’m still alive Learned the art of crafting a message
I’ve always wanted to know how Took the time to tie it together
Someone is able to shift themselves around the pain
To make a home out of it Mother knitted me a sweater one day
Pricked her fingers once a day
I heard an answer one day Gave me her love the only way she knew how
When no one else would tell the truth Gave me a piece of her before I knew what it meant
When no one had the ability
It’s true My sweater is a blanket
Of course it’s true It keeps me warm and safe
And isn’t that the miracle of life? It protects me from spills and thrills
To know that there is truth Reminds me of what matters most

Give me the ability I gave my sweater away one day

To filter through my mistakes Gave it to the one person I loved
To make a change Pricked my fingers everyday
Say Yes And hoped it meant as much to her
Say it's going to be alright As the sweater she gave to me
Tell me that I’ve got it all wrong
Tell me that you’re here
With me

102
 INSERT QUIBBLER

Action Power
Is it possible to work too hard? So much energy in the palm of my hands
To know your limits? Coursing through my veins
To say, there it is Made me feel like I was
To exert so much energy that it works against you? Maybe even that you were with me

I recognize my limits I rooted myself into the ground

Saw them clear as day Let the power travel through the cracked earth
Watched you all make another lap around the track and said Let it heal the tilled soil
That's enough for me Let it replant itself

Pace yourself as they run circles around you I went home

Make a new way after they abandon you To the roots of my power
Learn that forgiveness includes To where the cycle began
Giving that gift to yourself And learned the real magic

Brisk runs in the morning Everything is infinite

Cold air entering my lungs In the way that I remember it to be
Makes me feel alive In the way that I pass it on
Makes me feel wanted I have seen so much
And learned so little
I learned from the best About the way things actually work
How to run and jump and sideswipe
Learn myself the best way I know how Maybe if I shift this way
Contort myself into another position
My heart Learn the ancestors way
Worked overtime to catch up to my actions How they protected themselves against the rolling waves
To understand why I needed to make it pass the finish line
I am so lucky to be
We worked so hard To be here?
And came so far To be there?
To receive the fruits of our labor Or maybe that's it
To burn the image of glory into our minds That the magic is within me
Just because that's the way it is
There is freedom in winning And that's fine by me
In reaching my goals and dreams
In realizing that there is an after I have enjoyed the power
That the story has only just begun Of knowing that I am a person too
Maybe you’ll learn the same
I learned to make a name for myself
To announce to the world I’m very hopeful
Here I am Of the future
Of the power we have
Of the ways we plan to use it

103
 QUIBBLER INSERT

Fly Time
I took a flight one day What a wonderful thing it is
Traveled over half a day to find a new path To spend time with someone
Decided to see something entirely new To take up space in their lives
Maybe what I was looking for To know that there are memories you both hold
Was another part of myself That are the same and different

I found out that there was something hidden How gorgeous a concept is that?
Something that I have never known To have time with each other
That I could be happy To calculate what you’ve given to another
That I could be the best version of myself
Just by learning more about who I am Hours, minutes, seconds
They are just words
I’ve been thinking about what it means to be weightless Simple and grandiose
To close my eyes and just be They say to me
To become something different and still the same I can give this much
To change the way that I thought about myself
What is time?
I have been so thankful But an expression of love
For the promise of the future A measurement of hope
For what it holds in its hands A ruler of patience
For what it imparts on all of us
I have never been so grateful I figured out what I was looking for
That I was just looking for time
Imagine flying More of it to spend with you
Just imagine the idea of doing it All I wanted to say was
Being in the air and free Hello
Nothing holding you down or back You've changed my life
Just pushing you further and upward You brought me to higher heights
To places I’ll never imagine
We will know peace
The power and relentlessness of hope That you would spend time with me
The image of glory emblazoned in my mind What a thing to do
To take what has been given To share what time you have left with me
And float away
Forever is not really a concept
Nothing lasts forever
Forever just means time
A section of the tape recorder of the universe
Rewind to a certain point
Learn that there is more to what was already seen

You saved my life you know

With that call and that text
You gave me time
Forward

I have moved in the direction of freedom

Faced the sun with open arms
Embraced it eternally with the hopes of becoming
More of the same and changed

I took a bite of an apple

Tore into it until I reached the other side
Learned from my mistakes and made anew

104
 INSERT QUIBBLER
The idea of coring an apple Downward
Of taking out its heart and saying
I’ll preserve you, I’ll bring new life through this Into the earth
How thankful are we to create something entirely new out of a We dig for a new life
past iteration We dig for the possibility of finding something new
I lay my shovel on the ground
Maybe it will change I tell myself it's not possible
Maybe I can decide that this new way brings light To give up
I think it will bring love as well I told myself
To the people who have been holding me close Something’s hidden there
To forge a new way A secret treasure for me to find
I figure out that there's something else
We trudged through the mud That I need to know
Struggled as it attempted to pull us downwards That I am learning more about why
Watched others fell behind and continued on That the truth is an inescapable thing
Learned how to fight against the current Holds onto your heart
I decide that’s the right thing to do
I have never been more proud I dig deeper
Of your resilience and guidance I uncover soil and rock
The way you learned the ropes I uncover stones rich with texture and color
And kept them out of my view I learn that this earth is not for me
The way you twisted and changed To dig into but for it to dig into me
Casted spells to inure me from pain I realize there's so much more to this life
Made me realize that there's no such thing as regret That I should not be going downward but instead forwards
How you showed me the way forward But it's the only thing that I know
What can I feel in the air?
It's just so thin
It just doesn't feel the same
I can't crumble it in my fingers
I can't learn more about what it is or how it came to be
But maybe that's the point
Nevertheless, I dig

105
 QUIBBLER INSERT

Crimson React
There's a vivid color that I can see in the corner of my eye Let me tell you a story
It infuriates me at every turn An interesting story about standing still
It reminds me of things I can't remember And connecting with yourself so totally
Childhoods filled with misunderstandings and grief That you can hear the turn of the universe
That you can watch the stars burn themselves into your eyes
I wonder what it's like to be unmade That you can see and hear and know so much more than any
To learn that your insides don't match your outsides other person could
To figure out who the core of your being truly is
I wonder what they say about you
I wonder if you're really able to take it
Sometimes the thoughts in my mind grow like leaves on trees
In the fall as things do
I watch them turn Crimson
I watch them fray and fall apart and gain sentience
I watch them realize there is more to life than life itself
What a joy
To take a color and say this means something
More than war and death and pain and grief
I’ve just seen a new assortment of colors
But there's also more than that
There is apples and sweaters and tables where we all sat
together
And that they were just as important as anything else
But meant so much more
That made me feel so much better
What a Time to be alive

Ever
Let me tell you a story about learning
About reacting to everything and nothing at all
About cementing yourself in the fabric of time and space
Of knowing that every moment that you have ever lived
Is quite possibly a moment no one will ever have ever
How frightening is that?
To know that every step you take
Is one that no one else can

I react to the tides

I watch them ebb and flow
Watch them tickle my feet
And realize that so many things are going on at the exact same time
Billions upon billions of people are living watching watching knowing
And I am just here reacting to what I see
How delightful

106
 INSERT QUIBBLER

Pleasant Presence
Some Notes on pleasantness from a wayward traveler Everything takes up space
I learned very quickly what it meant to be pleasant Where one thing is
I learned what it meant to never offend Another cannot reside
Not to rock the boat You are there and I am here
I learned that there are so many things And we are together
That people love and adore and want to keep close In this place
And I wanted those things too Sometimes I wonder
I deserved those things If I could shrink myself
I promise you If I could make space for something else or someone else
Being pleasant is a case study in putting on a mask But who would ask me to do such a thing?
It's a way of saying I know what you want I'm so thankful for space for being able to
Here you go Separate myself from everyone else
No From having the ability to choose
I deserve something in recompense Who is within and outside of my circle
Something to assuage the pain
Maybe you just don't get it, maybe they don't want you to know I wonder sometimes why I waited so long
To say the way that I felt
Pleasantness is a new way of taking a breath for air That my needs mattered as well
After being submerged That I had every right to assert myself
And being told to be thankful for the reprieve But now I know

The true pleasantness for me isn't changing my mind Now I see

It’s saying I think I'd like something more I am present I am here
It's an interesting way of saying I prove that to myself every day
I think it should also be this way I say to myself this is the time that I am alive
What if the right thing is something I still can’t conceptualize This is the moment when I inherit what the world looks like
Something less pleasant This is the time for me to say
Something more real No you move
Something that can't be changed
Something nice This is my place
How nice it is to speak your mind This is where I stand
To tell the truth And it will be the place where I thrive
To shame your detractors And I have no problem with it
No qualms knowing nothing about the future
Just armed with the everlasting hope and prayer
That others will taste the same fruit of the work
From the ancestors that got me to this place

107
 QUIBBLER INSERT

Incredible Rumor
It's incredible I heard a rumor
The joys of life I heard that it was about you
The flavors of spirit That it was about the things you've done
The imagination of children I heard a rumor about what happened that day
The ideas that are created I heard that it was not your fault
Every second of every day I hope that you know that we care about you
That spring new life That we are waiting for you to come back home
New joy That you have always been loved
New ways of thinking That you are more than anything anyone could possibly say about
I think of imagination you
Of the creation of something Sometimes I wonder what words really mean
Out of nothing If the things that I've said and done and thought about you mat-
Maybe even the creation ter that much
Of the things that I've already seen And it does
My words and the words of so many have done harm
You thought to yourself I wish I could apologize
This may seem great but this is greater I wish there were words
Here's a space that we have Valuable enough
We can say this will do better Heavy enough
This will serve us better That meant enough to express the feelings I have
This is the best thing that ever happened to you Maybe they don't exist
And it's OK to just be Maybe they don't mean anything
No rules no regulations just vibes But for me
Just drifting along in love with yourself I'll just have to accept that sorry truly is not good enough
When you're down and it feels like there's no other way out
Maybe the thing that you've been looking for has existed all this I think that's the time to say fine
time I give in
You just didn't know what to call it I have no more energy left to give you
You just didn't know that it was yourself You deserve nothing more and all I have already done
And I'm fine with that and you should be too
There are other ideas that are festering in your mind I heard a rumor that you got everything you deserved
Hoping that you can put a name to it And I just wanted to let you know that I did too
Begging to be put on paper
To be fully realized and accepted

Did you know that you can find yourself in your own words?
That your emotions, your feelings are so valid and so needed
That even if you don't put them on paper
Even if you don't let us know
Even if it only ever resides in the deep quiet corner
At the back of your brain chilling in silence
Having drinks with your medulla
I think it is absolutely OK to say stop
To tell your mind to slow down
That you have
Done enough
Worked enough
Lived enough
To just let yourself be

108
 INSERT QUIBBLER

Music
I listen to music on the radio
The sound vibrates in my mind
They uplift me they keep me sane
I listen to the sound of years gone by
Reminds me of dancing in the kitchen
Of sitting on the floor as my mom braided my hair
Took me from one place to another like magic
We traveled using the melodies
We found ourselves using the music
To discuss and talk about how we were feeling
Sometimes it was a “put your records on” day
I just needed to sway with someone
Maybe it was a “get the hot comb ready and plait your hair” day
Today it was a “cleanse your spirit and your roots” day
It was a “find yourself in the tapestry of your own skin” day
And we danced together
We delighted in the glory of having each other
We learned more about each other
Reached a new level of realization
I came from you of course
We would be one in the same
Of course you would know me better than I know myself
And I'm so thankful to have been here with you
To continue to be here with you
And I can only hope that you feel the same
Transition
There's a lot of change coming
And I've never been so scared
I got comfortable where I was
I got comfortable knowing where I stood
I should've known better
Of course things have to change
Why do they have to change for me?
Is awful for me to contemplate by own faults
To be exposed in the face of shifting standards
To know that I went so far and have thrown myself into work
Then have nothing to show for it
I am changing
Growing and becoming more than I am
Learning as I am prone to do
Fixing the cracks made in my own psyche
Making new strides after repairing myself
I healed after the harm wrought upon me
I figured out what you were actually looking for
I brought a change to the world and it was unexpected
Change is not only inevitable
It is the way things are
And now that I have gained the understanding
I can traipse through life
With no fears, and no anxieties
Just a constant awareness of the world

Decide that now is the time

To refuse to stay still
To chart a path
And travel it

109
 QUIBBLER INSERT

z
j i n x e dkitty t hat t
he
u
By u /
b u t fi n d
w h e n yo
hat ook
u r l i t t l e a w e i rd l e a r i n g a
yo u w
Love s give yo icnic? Tr y
l e p
mugg out for a
it ch
we a r h a t ! h a t . A wit
et et gle
buck o f a buck the mug as
e o r st
a n imag tlandish f dy and ju
e is ou ren
Abov ht be too et hat is t
ig ck
hat m ut the bu
o r l d b
fo r m ing to in
w le ! con live
or tab g not ? Do you joy a
comf we a r i n
iety en
e y o u are ns of soc tting you worry!
t rob tatio for le t to
Is tha der expec forgiving vates? No ongst the
en un pri m
the g try that is und your s arised a ats!
n ro a rco
a cou breeze a vement h and ove
hy mo ers g
healt esthetic eed blaz o r n durin
a tw yw
A new s to wear t . U suall ou will be
l e o a ,y
mugg a n overc ituations shionable
e is al s fa
o v e imag and form an overly izard!
b r s w !
The a ld weathe society a you are a your wand
o i n t
the c conform ill suspec ts to hide
to w ke ts
able
l e ! N o one ough poc r s o r pan
n use
mugg are also e i ng tro h essent
ial
r e e a r
The w
ed to is very m r table wi
uc th
e u s o
tb t it f .
e m ay no r kind, bu re not com s or skir ts
W u a r t
gst o If you h sho
amon ar them. ar t off wit d
o u w e a n s t h s k ir t tie
y c ng t n
, you ee-le of fashio
pants a k n e
e of tom e
a n imag is the epi one of th !
e is is is ies
Abov blazer. Th gles. This e celebrit
a g l
with st the mu s by mugg o get you
n g e t
amo orn cloth e be able
w r
most tfit will su oks!
o u l o
This admiring s!
itche t
much o w w s
i t , m y fell n among
ve e
hat is bly, e m th
A n d t f a s h i o n a s h ow t h e r
s d u
D r e s g g l e s a n u g h ) o f yo
u o
the m (cough c sense!
i c n
m a g n g fa s h i o
i
amaz

110

HOW TO BLEND IN AT
Muggle Winter Festivities
By SinsationalDoom
With Brainstorming Help by
Permagrinfalcon, Silvertail8, and Saraberry12
ife as a mage is becoming more
difficult as we begin to integrate more
with Muggles and Muggle technology.
More mages are spending their vacations
in Muggle areas and Headmistress
McGonagall at Hogwarts has petitioned
With snow globe robes being all the rage
this year in the Wizarding World, it’s no
surprise that we need help to blend in with
Muggles.
“They don’t have the ability to use magic
to make their clothes comfortably room
temperature. Muggles wear layers to
stay warm, the more layers the better!”
He suggests that as soon as the first
leaves begin to fall, to pack on the
layers. “Sometimes Muggles wear extra
layers simply because it is fashionable.
Women in particular seem to wear several
layers, despite the weather conditions.”
One of the best places to see how Muggles
dress for winter any time of year is at Ski
Resorts. Marcellus explained that ‘skiing’
is a Muggle hobby where they strap two
planks of wood to their feet and gracefully
fall down the mountain. He’s still working
out how they manage to do so, and
promises a future article once he’s
completed his research. While some
Muggles participate in the sporting
event, it seems most people go to
Ski Resorts to sit in cabins wearing
multiple layers and drinking cocoa.
the Minister of Magic to allow Muggle
technology on school grounds. The need to
blend in has never been stronger, so we’ve
once more turned to the Ministry’s resident
expert, Mr. Maximus Marcellus.
Marcellus works for the Department of
Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. He’s
been integral in such cases as the Raining
Fish in Dundee, Scotland; the Confetti Frogs
“It’s the perfect place to study Muggle
winter wear,” he explains. “There are no
robes, no mage hats, and no moving
fabrics. Kids don’t have kitten mittens,
so there isn’t the sound of meowing cats
everytime children fold their hands.”
The thought of winter without the sound
of kittens seems rather odd, but Marcellus
says that’s part of why
this discussion is so
important. “The clothing
that we’re used to is
simply impossible in the
Muggle world. It’s a
difficult adjustment to
make, but not impossi-
ble.”
Marcellus is determined
to show that it is
possible, and arrived
to our interview in
traditional Muggle winter clothing.
The outfit is brightly colored and
all one piece, but also oddly puffy.
It seems to be the opposite of the
robes we’re used to, but Marcellus
insists that it’s comfortable to wear
despite how tight it looks.
INSERT QUIBBLER
in Swansea, Wales; and recently assisted
the Italian Ministry of Magic on the
international ‘Flying Grey Wolves’ case.
However, instead of focusing on fixing
catastrophes, Marcellus wishes to educate
mages to help prevent potential problems
in the first place. The best place to start?
“Fashion,” he explains as we sit together for
a second interview at the Leaky Cauldron.
“Each of these pouches,” he explains as he
touches one of the poofy areas, “is filled
with bird feathers. Muggles have discov-
ered that using bird feathers in clothing can
help keep them warm. I’m sweating
right now!” The pleased proclamation
doesn’t stop him from continuing on
about Muggle brilliance.
“The belt around the
middle keeps it tight
around my
waist and
allows me
to attach
pouches
full of my
Muggle
items.”
Opening
one of the
pouches, he
pulls out his
own mittens.
They don’t meow, yowl, or
list what items you have in your
pockets. In fact, they seem to
do nothing but keep Muggle
hands warm.p is a large poof ball.
Marcellus explains the poof of the
ball is to match the poof of the
outfit. The long ha
111
 QUIBBLER INSERT

112

To help Marcellus layer his clothing, he’s
wearing several items of clothing under
the puffy onesie, along with very tall boots
named “Oogs.” They are long enough to
go from shoulder to foot, but are bunched
up all the way to his upper thighs. “These
keep my legs nice and toasty. In the 2000s,
shorter versions of these boots were very
popular. They’ve since made a comeback,
but to keep with the latest fashions, there is
a lot more boot.”
“The last place to accessorize is the top of
your head. Accessories are very important
to Muggles.” Instead of wearing pointed
hats with wide brims to keep the snow
off of your face, Muggles seem to prefer
warmth to function.
Much like the Oogs boots, the hat is
very long. At the top is a large poof ball.
Marcellus explains the poof of the ball is to
match the poof of the outfit. The long hat
is placed on the head. He says muggles
either pull the hat down and allow it to
bunch on the head to keep warm, or the
Studying them ourselves will help us mimic
them and blend in.
The Muggle Fineries store in Diagon Alley
will be hosting an event through winter to
help prepare us for these study sessions.
They’ve put together another winter kit for
mages that include:
Puffy Onsie that will adjust
to fit any mage
Oogs that are magicked to maintain
the perfect bunching ratio for optimal
warmth
4 Beejies with various poofs
and accessories
Plain mittens
Muggle mug with snowflakes
that keeps your hot drink hot
INSERT QUIBBLER
hat is tugged up -- mimicking the pointed
hat that us mages are used to. These hats
are called Beejies and come with their own
puff accessories so you can accessorize
your accessory.
A few final tips from Marcellus include not
using any magic on the clothing. Water
repelling spells, warming spells, and
magicked items will all stand out. While
we’re used to the comforts our magic gives
us, it’d be good to temporarily forsake
them to help ensure small accidents,
which can be overlooked for larger cases,
don’t happen.
Where are some places to try out these
tips? Muggle winter sports locations. Ski
resorts and lodges and ice skating rinks
(where Muggles attached metal rods to their
feet and slide across ice) are Marcellus’s
main suggestions. If a mage doesn’t wish
to spectate the odd Muggle sports, he
recommends Muggle malls or places to find
warm drinks. Cafés in particular are an easy
way to sit for a long period of time to watch
Muggles and study them.
After purchasing your kit, every Sunday at
4pm they’ll host a practice café and ski
lodge immersive experience. Wizards will be
able to wear their new gear, drink their hot
Muggle drinks, and ‘talk shop’ about skiing.
Marcellus himself will be at the event, giving
a presentation on proper Muggle slang to use
throughout your winter vacation experience
along with lessons on Muggle winter sports.
During the presentation, mages will be able
to order various Muggle drinks and treats
that can be found at cafés, ski lodges, and
ice skating rinks.
Marcellus’s favorite is the ‘peppermint latte’.
Our resident expert is particularly thrilled
with the drink, saying he starts his day off
stopping at every café along the way to work
to grab one. “I’ve had 8 so far this morning!
They’re addicting!”
Be sure to visit Muggle Fineries Sundays
at 4 to learn more about Muggle winter
immersion and try Marcellus’s new favorite
beverage.
113
 QUIBBLER INSERT

114
INSERT QUIBBLER

115
 QUIBBLER INSERT

116
INSERT QUIBBLER

117
 QUIBBLER INSERT

118
INSERT QUIBBLER

119
QUIBBLER MAGICAL PLANTS AND CREATURES
Nature has a way of surprising us. Every expedition,
every exploration, brings something unexpected to
light. This leads us to connect stories of great wizards
and witches to nature’s phenomena. Nature’s phenom-
ena include the Auroras, volcanoes, frozen lakes and a
whole list which is being updated as you read this.
The midnight sun is literally the sun in the night sky at
midnight. It occurs in the Arctic Pole, usually in June
and July. It is a beautiful sight and leaves you spell-
bound no matter how many times you see it. I got the
opportunity to see the same last year, and I found it
quite intriguing.
It was bursting with magical energy and I was witness
to a phenomena never heard of. I decided to call it
The Nightly Ritual. As everyone knows, the midnight
sun brings an urge to rush and speed it up. Plants start
growing furiously and animals become more enthu-
siastic. It’s as if there’s a new burst of motivation and
suddenly nature is awakening from its sleep.
The midnight sun lights up the night sky and also
illuminates the land which led me to the discovery of
the Nightly Rituals. The Rituals take place every night
in a huge meadow which is usually deserted during
the rest of the year. Animals of all kinds gather at this
meadow an hour or so before midnight and come
together in a formation.
They stand in concentric circles and hum a low song.
When they start humming, their circles start glow-
ing with light and it seems as if the midnight sun has
120
halted to comment upon their beauty. Birds, perched
on branches or the backs of other animals, chirp their
throats out and flap their wings at the sky. The rest of
the animals sway from side to side, lost in the song,
lost in life. The group of animals slowly start moving in
those circles, and the sight is mesmerizing. With that,
the Ritual begins.
As the animals start moving, the glowing land can be
seen more clearly. Their song doesn’t stop, but be-
comes louder by the minute. It’s neither a prayer nor a
performance. It is simply there, and we can appreciate
it. It is a way of nature acknowledging nature.
I’m currently conducting a research on these rituals,
and we are uncovering a lot more than what we initially
thought was behind these rituals. There’s a lot to see, a
lot to explore, a lot left to discover. If you want to wit-
ness this event, I’d suggest you take a trip to the Arctic
Circle and keep your eyes open for the Rituals.
It is beyond anything we’ve ever come across, and we
hope we can understand the entirety of these rituals.
Nature does have a way of surprising us, and leaving
us searching for explanations, when they are usually in
front of us.
-an extract from Dr. Vekinase’s new book titled The
Midnight Sun- A Harbinger Of Secrets
Written by
Milomi10.

Ravenclaw
Pets Spotlight
Being in the Ravenclaw Discord Server is
always an adventure. Cults rise and fall, heated discus-
sions about mashed potatoes are held and the topic
often jumps between several severely unrelated topics.
But arguably the best part of it, aside from the amazing
people of course, are the pictures people share of their
pets. So many good bois and good girls and fuzzy little
adorable beings. Seeing pictures of and hearing stories
about dogs and cats is just instant serotonin. And be-
cause I am a kind and generous Managing Editor, I have
forced asked my fellow Eagles to share a bit about their
pets, so the Quibbler’s readers (you!) can also enjoy their
adorable goodness.
/u/GamingBeagle spoke to me about her cats, Socks
and Nyx. Socks is somewhere between 4 and 7 years old.
His exact age is uncertain and a heavily debated topic in
the family, but regardless of him being 5 or 6, he is an
adorable being anyways. His adoptive sister Nyx is about
5 months old. She joined the family when she was a tiny
little kitten, only 8 weeks old. Nyx is named after the god-
dess of the same name in Greek mythology, where Nyx is
the primordial goddess/personification of the night. Both
fluffy, adorable cats arrived in the family through adoption.
Socks was adopted as a companion for GamingBeagle’s
grandmother, who lives with her, but Socks ended up
being her cat, or maybe GamingBeagle ended up being
his human. Don’t worry about her grandmother though,
because Nyx is most certainly her cat. To my request to
unashamedly brag about them, I was told that they are
“both complete, utter, brats”. As, in my humble opinion,
every good cat should be. GamingBeagle told me that
“Socks is a terrible influence on Nyx. And they have devel-
oped a habit of barging into my online classes. But they're
both sweet little demon spawn and I love them. Though I
would appreciate it if they didn't feel the need the tear up
and down the hallway all hours of the night.”
/u/KingofCool328 shared about their two adorable dogs!
Beaux is a male, 5.5 years old dog that was already
KingofCool’s fiancée’s dog when the two started dating.
He was a side of the road dog and got picked up and
brought home. Minnie, a 9 years old female, had started
her life as a breeding dog, though luckily not as a puppy
mill breeding doggo. “She was there for 5 years, after
which she was 'retired' and sent to a Veterinary
School to work as a 'lab dog',” KingofCool told me.
“After a year as a lab dog, she retired from a life of
work and came home to her new family.” And what
a loving family it is! A happy ending after all. The two
dogs feel so loved that they are always SUPER excit-
ed when KingofCool returns home, regardless of how
long they’ve been separated from their lovely owner. 20
minutes? 2 days? It doesn’t matter, the boss is home
and all is well. Beaux also has a side-job as a therapy
dog, making not only KingofCool happy, but also people
in schools, libraries and hospitals, causing them to forget
about their problems for a while. And in return, Beaux
gets treats and love, so it’s a pretty sweet deal!
/u/ProudRavenclaw24 told me about Agnes, a good girl
who turned 1 last September. This adorable poodle mix
was adopted into a family where some are allergic to
dogs, but luckily not to her specific breed! When going
out for ice cream, a family friend mentioned that one of
her friends was having a litter of golden doodle/Aussie
doodle puppies. ProudRavenclaw’s family brought Agnes
home in November 2019, so it all worked out great. “But,”
ProudRavenclaw added, “Please adopt responsibly. If you
are getting a puppy, go to a responsible breeder.” Agnes
is pretty laid back, and matches her mood to the people
around her. “If you feel energetic and want to go in a walk
or play, she’ll sprint around the yard, but if you just feel
like sitting in the couch cuddled in a blanket, she’ll sit
with you.” She isn’t just emotionally intelligent though,
she is a true genius! What would you expect, from a pet
owned by a Ravenclaw. Agnes learned how to sit, stay,
lie down, dance and wait within a week, and the mo-
ment any of her owners mention ‘outside’ or ‘play’ or the
121
 I needed it. Through depression, anxiety, parents divorce,
moves, health scares and loss- it’s always been us against
the world.” And plenty of grief there was. Blackham-
mer’s father died in a tragic car accident, after which
Precious also fell extremely ill. “I stayed in the animal
hospital for 48 hours until she was conscious again
until I felt that I could even leave her there. I couldn’t
imagine losing someone else in my life. After that vis-
it, it was determined. When she needed surgery and
weeks of round the clock care and medication where I
stayed up for weeks on no sleep and checking on her in
my arms. After this experience, we have become incredibly
close and have a much more affectionate relationship-
now more than ever.”
At first, Precious was pretty feisty, and even whilst she was
loved to death, Precious was known as the ‘crazy cat’, re-
fusing to be cuddled or manhandled. “ I learned the hard
way that a cat’s love and affection is definitely earned,
but when I learned to let her choose her time with me we
became much closer.” Now, Precious has turned from a
feisty kitten into a lovey-dovey lapcat. “My biggest brag
is that we are bonded at the hip now because of all the
things we’ve gone through our whole life together but also
just this year alone. I’m so proud and happy to be where
we are.”

/u/Jumatsuga’s cat Remi is 3 years old, and, no joke,

born on April Fools Day in a litter of 7 kittens. I am sure
names of any of her toys, like her old stuffed animal she’ll the Weasley twins would be proud! Her parents are former
drag up the stairs to lie down and chew on it, it is clear show cats, genes that must definitely have transferred into
she understands what they mean! She is supper cuddly this gorgeous Ragdoll kitty! Jumatsuga’s sister is tech-
and doesn’t mind being picked up or hugged. “I really nically Remi’s owner, “but we live together, and I am her
don’t know what if do without her,” ProudRavenclaw told packmate, family member,
me. “There’s just nothing better than coming home after a and co-caregiver.” Out
long day and having a pup sit with you.” I 100% agree. of the 7 in the litter, the
two siblings chose Remi
/u/blackhammer3333’s cat was adopted because of her con-
when Blackhammer was 10 years old. Before stant purring and the
he long-haired Calico feline named Precious fact that she enjoyed
came into their lives, Blackhammer’s family had chin scratches. They
only had dogs. Blackhammer was even afraid of visited her often,
cats! However, when their older brother showed so when Remi
up with a crate and asked them to guess what
was inside, the tiniest little fluff ball inside
immediately stole the family’s heart. “My mom
picked her out of her friend’s litter her cat just
had. I stayed up all night to watch her and
awkwardly take care of her because I had no
idea what to do with her. But just like that, I
had a cat!”
Precious is now 12 years old, and she is pre-
cious indeed. Having been with Blackham-
mer for so long, the two have formed an
unmatchable and unbreakable bond. The
two of them have gone through so much!
“She’s relied on me to take care of her
when she was sick and I’ve relied on her
to be someone who’s there for me when

122
was finally old enough to be brought home, she was
welcomed by people she already knew to be sweet and
loving!
Remi is the Queen of the house, although not
always the most gracious one: she has jumped
in the toilet twice! That hasn’t stopped her from
becoming the Sun of the entire family, “even our
grumpy dad, who was adamant that he would not
allow a cat in his house, now baby talks to Remi and
looks forward our visits with her.” And, as a true Queen
should, she is incredibly spoiled. “She is also a spoiled
baby. She drinks from a cat drinking fountain and goes
to walks with us in a harness and a leash. She hates
the fact that we have to wash her from time to time, but
loves brushing.” She does bite ankles, but, Jumatsuga
freely admits, that is kinda their own fault, for they wres-
tled with her with their feet when she was still a kitten.
Remi also has a favourite colour: green. All her favourite
toys are green, except for the ice cubes, which are also
very popular with this radiant Queen.

/u/city17_dweller’s house is graced by the presence

of Willow and Giles, two 3 year old cats adopted from a
multi-cat shelter as kittens. What are their favourite things
about these two babies? “Giles' perpetual derpiness (of-
ten found upside down) and Willow's strong Professor Mc-
Gonagall impressions when she's unamused.” Both Willow the tattoo shop he used to go to! The two became instant
and Giles know that every worldly thing is below them, and friends, and John welcomed Knuckles into his home.
they, therefore, like to be up high, although WIllow, being “Knuckles is a knucklehead. But this boy is the most loyal,
steadfast friend anyone could ask for.”

/u/itsawonderfularia is twice blessed, for they have both a

dog and cat in their household! Vellu is a 16-year-old male
cat, Dina is a 3-year-old female dog. Vellu was adopted
after the family cat of itsawonderfularia’s aunt gave birth
to some kittens in their barn, all the way back in 2004. Al-
though their dad did not really want a cat, Vellu got adopt-
ed into the family anyways. Now, so many years later, Vellu
is an old man, who likes to just chill and sleep. Although
he has never really been a cuddly cat, he is now slowly be-
coming more affectionate. “Lately, he’s actually slept next
to me, and he has let me hold him more.”
Dina was adopted in December 2017, from an old lady
tiny, needs some who raised Chodsky Pes dogs. “We first met her on 6th
human help to reach when we went to talk with the lady who sold the puppies.
higher surfaces. Next day the lady brought Dina to the hotel we were stay-
Willow loves cuddles, ing at before we left. She said goodbye to Dina and took a
and Giles makes picture of us with our new puppy.” Dina is very intelligent,
kneading fists in the even learning how to open the door! Nowadays, the doors
hair when his head in itsawonderfularia’s house have vertical door handles,
is fussed when rather than horizontal ones. She can’t help it, she’s just
he’s resting. super welcoming! She wants to meet every person she
sees, even if that means she has to invite them in herself.
/u/jeepin_ This enthusiasm originally did not go over well with Vellu,
john5280’s dog however, who hissed at Dina when the two were first intro-
Knuckles is a duced to each other. However, now that time has passed
10-year-old man, the two have learned to co-exist. “Every now and then you
born on John’s can find them sleeping next to each other,” itsawonderfu-
birthday in laria told me.

123
And last, but certainly not least (but I might be
a little biased), is my own darling Goose. My
orange tabby cat came into my life this March,
right before the huge ‘let’s adopt an anima in
these quarantine times’-surge. I wanted a cat for
quite a while already, but I knew I had to wait till
I finished my semester abroad. So the moment I
set foot in my home town, I started looking for a
fuzzy baby to adopt! Goose was a perfect match:
he’s an indoor cat, who loves to cuddle but also
appreciates his independence. He doesn’t
mind being manhandled, and purrs so. loudly.
Honestly, it’s ridiculous. He
also likes to drink from the
shower or from the tap,
and he will yell at you
if you lock him out of
the bathroom.
I adopted him on
a Thursday, and I
remember joking with
the lady at the shelter
that we weren’t allowed
to shake hands anymore -
this was before COVID had truly
hit in my area. When we were both just
home, I got the email from my university that all
physical classes were cancelled until further notice. This
did give me plenty of time to try to coax Goose out of the
litterbox, where the poor boy had taken shelter! The first
three months I barely saw him, he was so afraid of ev-
erything. But now he has stolen my heart and my couch,
and demands attention when I have been gone for any
period of time. He has stolen the show in plenty of online
classes. When I adopted him, he was severely overweight
(or was the Tesseract just inside his belly?) but
now he is a healthy, if a bit heavy, floofy boy.
He knows how to open cupboards, which I
learned the hard way, meaning that his
food is on the highest shelf I could find.
Overall he is incredibly
well-behaved though.
He always goes in the
litterbox, he doesn’t
scratch the furniture,
hasn’t attacked the
Christmas tree and
he doesn’t jump on the
table or kitchen counter
- or, well, he doesn’t jump on
the latter when I am there to see
it, but I do sometimes hear a suspi-
ciously loud landing coming from the
kitchen when I’m in another room.
He has been a huge support for me
in these COVID times, and I love
him so much.

124
INSERT QUIBBLER

125
 Boggarts
Since 2017, Pennywise the Dancing Clown has
been compared to a rather frightening being
in the Muggle in the magical world. This demented clown

Mainstream
is but one of the forms the entity can take,
as it can change its shape. It takes on the
Written by Rhia1 image of what its target fears most. Just like the
Boggart. Yes, it appears that the evil clown
may be a very nasty Boggart,
one that targets children
and seems to be malicious
in nature by the fact
This one is iffy at best, but it also works on that it kills its targets.
some levels. That level being that the town,
namely the residents of Elm Street, are afraid But is this the only form that
of him. However, he was not always depicted popular Boggarts can take? Here are some that
as a simple horror movie villain. In Wes would suggest otherwise, some surprising and
Craven’s New Nightmare, Freddy is described others not so much.
as an entity that took on the villain’s form to
torment the cast and crew of past films. It is
then revealed that this entity is the same one
that took on the form of the old witch from
the Hansel and Gretel fairytale, and while While it resembles a Dementor, even feeding
he can’t be killed, the entity that is Freddy like one, this one tends to strike while the
Krueger can be trapped in fictional worlds. victim is asleep. Fearing an unknown
figure shrouded in darkness is a
common fear for some, making this
a possible Boggart.
Because of this one movie within the
franchise, it can be said that Freddy Krueger
is a type of Boggart. As some Boggarts have
been known to fixate on special forms, Freddy Many people suffer
could be seen as one that picked up the form from sleep paralysis
from moviegoers and the knowledge of the and see evil creatures sitting
character thereof. Because of this, the Boggart on their chests attacking
began to target those close to the films for the them or making it difficult
slight fear that they may have developed by to move and breathe. This
working on the films, allowing those more is a fear-inducing thought
strongly affected by the film to be the main and experience that can give
targets, even the original female protagonist power to a Boggart,
being subject of its fixations. However, this especially one that
would require a level of sentience and magical might enjoy the
ability never before seen in Boggarts, as it form of demonic
would have to live exclusively in the dreams creatures over
of its targets and maintain the form of Freddy other fears
Krueger while in a person’s subconscious and the target
conscious mind. may have.

126

This is a rather strange one, but it still works.
There are many versions of Jack Frost. Some
say it is the name of a man turned snowman,
the embodiment of winter weather, or the
antagonist of some wintertime horror movies.
He also has many different looks from a man
to a snowman to a type of spirit. However, we
will be looking at the scary version.
This could be a combination of two things: an
unknown image of evil and irrational fear of
snowmen. Because children hear the name
Jack Frost, they now think of winter and
snowmen, they may think of an evil entity in
the shape of a snowman, a rather frightening
version at that when tied to an evil person,
such as a killer as depicted in the 1997 film.
This would lead to fears of killer snowmen
for children and just killers for parents. If
the fear is strong enough, or vivid enough,
in multiple individuals then a Boggart could
get stuck in such a dark form and cause many
problems.
Boggarts can appear any time of the year, in any form.
But they can be seen by Muggles. Just because they choose
not to acknowledge them in everyday life does not mean
they don’t notice. They have adapted them into nursery
rhymes, folklore, myths, legends, literature, film, and
video games. And there are several types that were not
named here or yet undiscovered. No two Boggarts are the
same, and the way they react to our fears can differ from
Boggart to Boggart as well. So, when you feel Jack Frost
nipping at your nose this winter, just be glad it’s not the
Boggart version.
Similar to the bogeyman (or bogeylady in
Coca’s instance), this possible Boggart is one
that is attracted to children. In fact, Muggles
in Spain, Portugal, and Latin America all
have stories of el Coco, and tell them to their
children to get them to behave.
This is not a typical Boggart as it does more
than just scare children, but can take the
child’s souls or the entire child away. The
main defining feature is that it can change its
shape to represent what the child fears most.
However, it appears to stand upon the roofs of
the houses of the town, patrolling for naughty
girls and boys, which is not typical Boggart
behavior.
127
 QUIBBLER INSERT

128
INSERT QUIBBLER

129
QUIBBLER NEWS AND FEATURES

130
Sacred XXVIII
Dissolved;
Amnesty for
Voldemort’s
Supporters at Last
By A_Syed_07
On Friday, October the 2nd, Narcissa Malfoy (nee.
Black) invited over twenty women to her Manor for
tea. The people invited ranged from family to close
friends to sworn enemies (for complete invitation
list, see below.)
Over the weekend, we questioned many people to
find out what happened that evening. Molly Weasley
gave us a knowing smile but no comment. Augusta
Longbottom shooed us away from her estate. Ginny
Potter said, “you’ll find out soon enough, you bloody
reporters.” Clearly, something had happened, but
nobody was going to tell us.
On Sunday, House Malfoy released an official state-
ment about the events of Friday, taking to Twitter.
“I lost my sister [Bellatrix Lestrange] that night
[Battle of Hogwarts]. I lost my niece [Nymphadora
Tonks] - I’ve never met her. That fight was about
blood purity; it always has been. But no more.
On Friday, all the living daughters & wives of the
Sacred 28 signed a document declaring [the Sacred
28] void. Let us turn over a new leaf and meet the
realities of today - a reality where blood spilt is
unacceptable, purity be damned.”
Twenty-one women, including Justice Amelia Bones
(on behalf of Delphini Riddle), signed this document.
It has been registered with the Ministry of Magic to
be framed in the Hall of Memories. Mudblood is now
a taboo word - one can go to Azkaban for a month
just for uttering it under their breath.
The Dissolution of the Sacred XXVIII was a gesture
of peace and harmony, but what followed warmed
even the coldest of hearts here at The Quibbler.
Edward “Teddy” Lupin, son of Nymphadora Tonks
and Remus Lupin, posted on Twitter: “I was touched
by Sacred 28’s dissolution. It is high time for us to
move on - to forgive (but never forget.) In this spirit,
I have written a Declaration of Amnesty, signed by
Aunt Granger, Uncle Harry, Uncle Ron, Uncle Neville,
Grandma Weasley, and Mr Aberforth Dumbledore,
with the hopes that we can leave this horror behind
us at last.”
The Declaration of Amnesty is framed in the Hall
of Memories as well. Narcissa Malfoy and Edward
Tonks are to receive Orders of Merlin, Third Class.
Minister Hermione Jean Granger tweeted: “The ex-
change between the Sacred 28 and Edward marked
a new beginning for us all. The Ministry of Magic
has approved a Memorial in the shape of a phoenix
inscribed with the Fallen Fifty and the War Heroes
of Voldemort’s first and second reign. We hope to
unveil this by May 2nd next year.”
The dawn of a Wizarding World not wracked by the
horrors of war is imminent. Let’s “forgive (but never
forget)” and rise like a phoenix from the ashes. We
deserve that much, don’t we?
131
 QUIBBLER INSERT

132
INSERT QUIBBLER

133
 QUIBBLER INSERT

The Peculiar Way

Japan Deals with
Secrecy Breaches
by Werner von Weedledink

134
 INSERT QUIBBLER

I
t's never a good sign when a dementor Just when this fearless reporter thinks he'll
has taken up residence in a muggle jew- have to intervene, a red rose slices through
elry store, particularly one located in the the air with impossible accuracy and distracts
busy city of Tokyo. If this happened in the the dementor.
UK we'd simply swoop in, neutralize the
offending creature, and obliviate all wit- Dear readers, if you think this story is weird
nesses. The Japanese Ministry, however, enough already then I must warn you that it's
has a different and rather unique tactic. about to get much weirder. I glanced up to find
the source of the floral projectile and standing
A young woman enters the store, her attire in the rafters there is a tall man in a ...tuxe-
eyebrow raising and her hairstyle even more so. do? A three piece tuxedo at that! He too has a
The outfit she wears bears a passing similarity prepared speech about love and justice which
to a muggle sailor uniform, if that sailor also ends with a pep talk to our now besotted her-
wore a dangerously short skirt, and her hair is oine. I begin to suspect I've found myself in
what the Japanese refer to as 'odango' style the middle of some nutty couple's date night
with two buns perched on either side of her routine, except our masked tuxedo man leaves
head and flanked by pigtails. (For our western as abruptly as he appeared and 'pigtails' is fo-
readers I'm sure it is more reminiscent of spa- cused once again on the offending dementor.
ghetti and meatballs.)
With some of the fanciest wand flourishes this
She pauses for a second, takes a deep breath, journalist has ever seen, the dementor turns to
and begins a strange speech about love and dust. Hardly believing my eyes I trot up to our
justice. The dementor is unfazed, not even bubbly savior and ask her one simple question,
glancing up from the poor soul it is draining. "How?", but she gives me a frustratingly cheeky
It is then that the young woman takes out the answer, "Magic."
oddest wand I have ever seen: bright pink with
a large gold crescent moon on the end. The At this point several of the muggles have start-
strange wand looks like something designed by ed to rouse and I assume our friend will begin
a toy maker to appeal to children. the obliviation process. What actually occurs is
something of a fan club meet and greet. These
Now she has the dementor's attention and it is muggles clearly recognize her and I catch half
gliding lithely towards her, its previous victim of a nickname being excitedly whispered. It's
now abandoned. At this point you would think something that ends in "Moon". I take an awk-
our pigtailed heroine would make quick work of ward glance at the tiny skirt. Moon indeed.
it with a well aimed patronus, but embarrass-
ingly she fumbles her wand and scoots back- And then with great flair, our sailor suited hero-
wards with haste. In her panic, she has fallen ine disappears in a flash and leaves behind the
squarely and painfully on her backside and effervescent chatter of the now giddy muggles.
tears are welling up in her eyes. I decide to take my leave as well.

135
 QUIBBLER INSERT
I'm sure you're now very confused about
what has transpired. Where are the aurors?
Why is the Japanese ministry sending a
clearly inexperienced witch to deal with a
breach? Why haven't they altered any mem-
ories? And how in Merlin's beard did she
completely destroy a dementor?
Well that last one has to remain unanswered
for now. It's something of a proprietary secret
I'm afraid, a bit of experimental magic unready
to be exported to the rest of the world. Howev-
er, I am free to answer the other questions.
The fact is our pigtailed pal IS an auror, just
not the kind you're used to and the scene I
described is actually standard routine. Since
1992 memory spells have been highly re-
stricted in Japan after a study concluded that
overuse can be detrimental to the recipient's
health. So how do you deal with breaches of
secrecy if you can't use a memory spell? Well,
you lean into the spectacle of course! What
we've witnessed is actually carefully crafted
theater. The threat was indeed real, but the
rest was all pantomime.
You may be wondering how that is supposed to
work. How are muggles supposed to keep quiet
when they've literally witnessed magic? The
answer is even more surprising. A representa-
tive of the Japanese Department of Magical
Law Enforcement, Setsuna Meioh, had this to
say, "There's a certain refuge in audacity. When
the ridiculous becomes commonplace, it also
becomes unremarkable."
136
What's happening here is a concentrated effort
to normalize strange occurrences so muggles
cease to question them. It turns out our auda-
ciously dressed auror is actually the head of
her own team (Yes, they all dress in a similarly
saucy fashion) and they're not the only ones.
Japan has over 400 auror teams as part of
their 'sentai program', each with their own over
the top theme. Miss Meioh was kind enough to
show me some of the more outrageous ones
including an all male team of fantastical sa-
murai and another group that appeared to be
mermaid pop stars.
This is what Miss Meioh means by 'refuge in
audacity'. Every time a colorful group shows up
to fight a 'monster' the muggles seem to regard
it as a publicity stunt. The elaborate outfits and
over the top behavior just confirm it.
As for the muggles' reactions, well, they usually
fall into two categories: either they're a huge
fan of these spectacular teams and crazy "pro-
ductions" or they're ambivalent to the antics of
a desperate "marketing team". Either way the
result is the same: blatant magic is completely
rationalized away and the muggles' minds are
left untampered.
Could such a strange tactic be imported to the
west? I would say it's unlikely, but I can't help
but giggle at the thought of the famous Mr.
Potter wearing spandex and striking flamboy-
ant poses.
INSERT QUIBBLER

137
 Troublemaker Wizards
Manage to Blast an
Entire Continent
with the
Confundus Charm
by u/deathstar1310
M uggles affected with this charm throw away safety and
try to get attention
“Poor dear, she’ll get that wretched muggle disease if she
doesn’t wear that piece of cloth.” -says one Julie Goggler
when she spots a muggle arguing with an authority that mug-
gle masks cause death by suffocation.
As you all may know, there has been a dangerous spread of a
muggle disease all over the world. The muggle world was and
is still shut down due to this epidemic. Luckily, this malady
does not affect us wizards.
The disease is spread through the air apparently and muggles
must wear pieces of special cloth known to them as “masks”
to stop its spread. However it extracted mixed responses
from muggles and wizards alike when a few muggles started
acting as if they got their brains switched with a goose and
saying that “masks” can apparently suffocate people to death
and stopped wearing them, often arguing pointlessly with the
muggle authorities who have a strict rule to wear them. Many
laughed at such people and didn’t look more than once in their
direction, while others were genuinely concerned for their
physical and mental well-being.
“Hahaha...look at that fool. I don’t think he’d be able to tell
the difference between chairs and dung if he saw them...
Hahaha...” -says Dan Fruildo, laughing uncontrollably as he
saw a muggle being thrown out of a shop screaming to lodge
a hearing in muggle courts.
“They should call a muggle healer...it really breaks my heart to
see these folks in such a state...without any magical help.”
-says Baker Angelina, as she watches a muggle lady shout at
an old man (who just didn’t seem to care and wanted to move
away from said muggle lady lest he caught the disease.)
Upon further investigation by our Quibbler team, we found out
that Dedaulus Diggle and Mundungus Fletcher, both infamous
138
troublemakers since the time of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named,
had enchanted a wizarding firecracker with a Confundus
Charm and enlarged it to the size of a small hill using very
simple spells. Their goal being to find out how many people
they can confund with only one spell. Under cover of the
sound of the huge muggle flying-machines at a very big and
open space that would usually have many muggles in it, the
firecracker was burst, affecting nearby residences and every
muggle at that place, who were soon to spread throughout
and outside the continent by the said flying-machines.
What is even more absurd is the fact that the confunded
muggles managed to convince some non-confunded muggles
that their protective devices were useless and they shouldn't
wear them either. Wizarding authorities do not know if the
aforementioned Confundus Charm is spreading from muggle
to muggle or the said muggles are just in possession of less-
er brainpower.
Muggles also use potions known as “vaxxines” to prevent
their diseases. The confunded muggles have started saying
that these preventive potions can cause “autism” (a muggle
malady that changes the thinking pattern of the afflicted,
external symptoms may include less social activity with high
brainpower) in children. They also are saying that muggle
higher authorities put small machines in vaxxines to control
them like puppets.
“This just proves how stupid these muggles are...I never asso-
ciate with such people ever.” -comments an unnamed Leaky
Cauldron patron, who was unknowingly under the effect of a
ministry-approved Veritaserum in his butterbeer.
Wizarding authorities are trying to control damage but it is
too spread out, and we risk exposing ourselves once again
due to two troublemakers. One of which, Mundungus Fletcher,
upon arrest said that he was paid 450 Galleons by Diggle to
assist him in this deed. Upon being asked to pay them to the
Ministry treasury as a fine (combined with a lengthy sentence
in a Ministry dungeon), he made the statement that it was
leprechaun gold and disappeared after the day when Diggle
fled, who is still on the run and has a reward of 200 Galleons
on his head. He said that their goal was not to particularly
confuse the afflicted about “masks” and “vaxxines” but the
Confundus Charm was strong, so it directly went for the
stupidest and most self-destructive statements that can be
made by muggles. The only two wizards afflicted by the fire-
cracker were riding on their brooms and crashed into a tree.
Fortunately, with no injuries at all.
Rest assured, we do believe that the crisis will be solved
soon and those who were not at the flying-machine muggle
place and still believe in such wacky things will come to their
senses after getting the disease themselves.
 INSERT QUIBBLER

Reasons to join, reasons to fear.

An article by Nine.
MLAP
What’s MLAP?
Well that’s not the question you should be asking, you silly old duck. The right thing to ask would be...

Who’s MLAP?
But that doesn’t matter now, does it?

Let’s cut to the chase and list the reasons why you, as many others before you have, should join.

• MLAPs to join reasons:

• You like pie, yes?
• How many times have you filed your nails this week?
• It’s better than the bee’s knees.
• MLAP for the Christmas season.
• Bees are going extinct, and maybe we can do something about that.
• Hey, you’re that one guy, whatsyourface? Mike, from accounting?
• Nobody asks you what you do when you say you’re an accountant.
• Where there’s a will…
• I’ve just written a song about tortillas.
• REDACTED

But what KIND of MLAP would bE liST without a fear to reAson. I now, like the
foUNding fathers before us, present thY FACE with an unequivOcally mind FRICKY
bullet consider oF LIst tO MLAP the fear, yes? Yes, ok:
͒
͋̈́̿ ̋
̏ ̄̌
̓̚ ̐̂͒ ̈͗͛̾͗ ̓̐͌͐ ̍̐̈́͊ ̀ ̊̊̚ ͌̏ ͂ ͗ ̏ ͂ ̌ ̍ ͐
̀ ̎͆̓͌ ͋̓
̑
̔͊ ́ ͆͒̈ ͑ ́ ͆͐ ̈́ ̎͆̆ ̆̒ ̉ ̎̎͆ ̾ ̋ ̑̿ ͛
̏ ͊̐ ̓͌ ̈́̿̿̓
͆ ̈́ ̚ ̾ ̈́
͑̊ ̔͋ ̓͂̅̿ ̃ ͆̐͌ ̂̆ ́ ̾̓̾ ̈͐̍ ̉ ̃ ͛̈̊͗ ̂̿̒͐ ̃ ̒̽͗̄ ͑̐ ̈́ ͗ ͐̑ ̀ ̈ ̋ ̿͗̚ ͑͗ ͛̾̍ ̑̒͑̑ ͛̚ ̀ ̈́̈̑
̾ ̅ ̑ ̓ ̂ ̓
͑̑͊͛ ̓̔ ͛ ̀́ ͒ ̀
͋ ̏ ̋
͛
̋ ̄ ̄ ̆ ̔ ͒̐̈́͗
͂
̾̽͆ ̃ ͂̈̿ ́ ̔̑ ̃ ̈́̐ ̉ ̊̈́͐ ̀ ͆ ͆͋ ͒̌ ́ ̄̏ ̋ ̐̊̐ ̏̓ ̽̚ ͛̊ ̉ ̇̐̈́ ̄͋ ͑͂ ̾̍̅̓ ̀ ͛ ̃ ̋ ́̈̓̉ ́ ̒͆̌ ̒͗͂ ͗ ̒̽͒ ̈́ ̆ ̀ ̓ ̈̒ ̉ ̃ ̎͐ ̉ ̇͆̆ ͆̓ ͑̎̍ ̎ ̓ ́ ͛̆̽̈́ ̃ ̎̒ ̔̓ ̋ ͒̓ ̐̔ ̌ ̋ ̂ ̄ ̚ ̽ ̃ ̐ ͗ ̒̎̈́͗
̔̍ ́ ̈́͐ ̋ ̑̅̌ ̈́͛ ̎̍ ̓̏ ͑̇̎ ̉ ̿͐ ̇̄̓ ̉ ̆̅͋ ̇̓ ̐͗ ̀̋̉ ̈́͌ ̎̚ ̆̔̄̾ ̉ ͌̔̅ ̌̊̽ ͊̄ ͂ ̋̎ ͊ ̆̿̚ ̌͂͑͛͋ ̀̉ ̓̿̂̆ ̂͛͋ ͆͒͐ ̀ ͋̔͊͒ ̉ ̍͗͒ ͆̐͛ ̓͂͊ ̏͒ ̂̈́̈́̚ ͌͌͑ ̔̇ ̏͌̽͐ ̆̑̔̂ ̉ ̅̇͋ ́ ̎͐̚ ̒̔̑ ̅̓ ̒̈́̏͒ ͗̂ ̇͊ ͗ ́̉ ̐̈́͂̓̃͆̑ ̈́ ͆̽ ̃ ̊̄̌ ̓͋ ͋̋͒ ̇ ̅ ̍
̅̄̽ ̌ ͑̈́ ̿̚ ̐ ̉ ̃ ̍ ̊͐͒ ̊ ͆̆̽ ̽ ̓̚ ̀ ͌ ̎̇ ͂ ͌̒ ̀̉ ͛̿͌ ͐ ̋͆ ̄̇ ̔̿ ̈́̂̅ ̏͐ ̒͐ ̐̐ ̔̾ ̾̎̆͐͐ ̑̓ ̒͊ ͑̐͊̏ ͛̈́̃ ̓̍ ̎͒͛͌ ͌̎͆͒̚ ͑ ̔̽ ͑̒̄ ̚ ́͒̓ ́ ͑ ̉ ̊̓ ̔̋ ̈̎̌͛ ̾ ̇̚ ̅̐̓̿ ̐͌̍ ̽̇ ̄̔̈́͗ ̀ ͊̇ ͋ ͛̑͒̅ ̋ ̆̌̎̿͌̔̿ ̑̇͐ ̒ ̈́ ͑̓ ͑̅̔ ̃ ̈́ ́ ̈́ ̂ ͆ ͊̆̊ ̓͌ ͌ ̒
̈́̌̾ ̎̆̿̿ ͊ ̒̅ ͋͗ ̾͌̈́̋͆ ̈́̾̔͐ ̽ ̈̊̂͛̚ ̓ ̓͛̈͒ ̾ ̓̋ ̂̽̊͒ ̀ D̸ ͂͊͒ ̓ ͠ è̴̹̊̚ ̇̑ ̄a̴
̧̨͖̀́́̒͜ ́ ͋͊ ̄̋ ͠͝ẗ̶̹́͗͘ ͌̈́ ̱ h̷̯̎͝ ̀͐ ̕ S̵ ̢̨̛͈̀͋͘ ́ ̃ ̧͆͊̅ ̒̌ ȉ̴̡̢ ̔̅ d̷
̷̡̛̰͌̕͜͝ ́ ̏̑ ͝ t̵̥́͊̎͜ ̾ a̴ ̬́̊͆̈́͗͠͝ ̓ ̎ ̧̹̈́̄͐͘̕ N̶ ͕̈͊̀̍̕͘͝ ́ ͌ ̋ ̾ ͋̿ ̢̡t̵̛̐ ͈̍͊̐͋̕͘ ̛̣͋̒̀͆́̎̕͝͠A̵
̷̨̧̛̞́̅͛̓͜ ̃ ̄ ̏ o̶ ̴̢̨̐ ́ ̆ ́͠͝ ̢̤̀́̓͘͝ ̏ ̢͜C ̵̡̧̛̻̈́̋̑͜͝ ̀ ͛͐͋͠͝ n̵
̷̨̧͚̍́̒̄͝ ̈́̐ ̄͗ ͝ ̇ ̕ a̶ ̢̨͍̀͋͜ ̉ ͝ ̽ ̅ ̉ ͠͝ȉ̸͈̃͘͝͠ ̽͠ ͅ ̕ ̀ n̷ ̢̨͔́̏̃͘͜ ̑̆ ̫̆̐ ́ ̢ ̑C̸
̡ ̎̚ e̶ ̴͙́̅̀̌̇͋̆̕͝ ͛ ͑̍ ̢e
̨̧̻̀̔͑͊͗̕͠͝ ̧̿͒͝ ̨ ̕ l̶̸ ̧̛̱̈́̅ l̶̊͊͗ ̡̝̆́̚ ̷̧̛̘̽̕̚͝ ̓ ͗ ̈͐ ̇ ̾͑ ͗̈́ ̐ ̋͂ ͌̎ ͒ ̓
̔̋ ̾ ̈̋ ͠ ͋̏ ͊ ͐͛ ͂ ̈́ ̈́ ́͊͆̈́ ͠ ͂͋ ̏ ͑̆̌̿̒ ͠͝ ͋ ̉ ͝ ̚ ̈́̇ ́ ̃ ̎̎̚ ̃ ͌̚ ̎̋ ̌̿ ͂͛̈́̆̇͛̌͋̐ ̎̓͑̏ ̊̽̆̚ ̕ ̫̠̱ ̈ ͎̥̲͓ ̑̇̾̂ ́ ̘͎̲̮̪ ̔ ̫̯͎̝̳ ͜ ̦͍̤̬ ̊͗ ͆͛̄̏̅ ̾̄̈̎͛ ͉̳̟̬̕ ́ ͛̐̊ ̍̀̉ ̲̜̩̭͕ ̈́̿̊͋ ͎̰͙̭ ̛͛ ̕ ͙̯̖̜̤ ͂ ̽͂̏ ̓̑ ̋ ͖̪̺͙͑̅̑̚͠ ̕ ̈́͂̓ ͓͔͓̞ ̩̘̹̥ ̎͆͝ ̯̟̯͓̼ ̊̌͗̆ ̻̙̠̦͇̿ ̉ ͛͆͐̅͠͝ ̣́ ̫͙̻̲͔ ̈́̔̊͗ ͇̱̜ͅ ̍̇ ̳̼̟̠͇ ̈́̈̎ ́̉ ͋̑͗ ̉ ̰̙̻͓̕ ͛͋͊̂ ̓̈́̍̏ ̃ ̀ ̳̝̟̜̤ ̽͒͋͗ ̛́ ̭̻̮̖̠ ̫̺̟͓̓͗ ͝ ̣ ̃ ̹̞͓ͅ ͆̅̾͛ ̆̈́ ̠̰̜̬̤ ̣͜ ̂ ̞͇ ̈̄̏ ̇ ̀ ̜̺̱̭ ̫̤̺̖͈̩̣̏͊̽͝ ́̉ ̛ ̰͎͎̬̱ ̾͊͊͛̅ ͍̙͉̖̳ ̏ ͑ ̝͇͓ ̈͛̿͌ ́ ͝ ͂͑̆̋ ̃ ͋̾̇͛͝ ͠ ̑̋ ͠ ̑̿͒̓͌ ͊̍̔ ̃̐ ̋͂͐̈ ̇͌͗ ̕ ̓̈́̚ ̋ ͌̎̓ ͠͝ ̔͛̓ ̈́̈ ͠ ̆͒̊̂͐ ̆̈́̾͋
̸̔͝W̸
̢̧̺͚̪́ ̙̯͠h ́̆̉̀͑ ̀ ̿ ̷̀͛i̶̧̢͓̖̱͒̕͠ ̀ t̴͙̭͕̒̀̂͘͜͝ ͆́ h̷
̧̢̨͚́͆ ̑ ę̸̢̡̗̀̋̍́̆͘͜͠ ̉ ̧̤͗ ̨ r̴̡ ͌ A̶ ̵̨̡̩̀͆͝ ͎ ̢ S̴ ̷̡̧̨̻̀̌̕͜͝ ̚ ̨̢̡̛͕́͑̾̕͘͜͠ṱ̴̨̡̀̉̕͜a̧͂ ̨ ̢g̵
̶ ͙ ̾ n̴ ̛͇͑͘͝ ̖ ͍̃͛ ̨ a̵͕ ̈́ ţ̷̢̨͉̀̀͜ ̛ e̴ ̡ ͗ d̵̪̀́́ ̳ ̩ ̨̣ ͙ S̴ ̵̳́͋̀̐̉͛ ̃ ̠̈ ̛́ į̵̖̾ ̳ n̸ ̛ ͍ ̹͗ n̷͌̍͘e̸ ̨̛͖͝ ̪ ̧ ̨ r̸̢ ̫ ̨̜ ̢ ̵̡̛̭͒͂W̵ ̧͜ ͖ ̋ ̳ h̵ ̺́̀ ͆ ̜ ̳o̷ ̀͌ ̧̨̣̓ ̲ ̢ ̡̝́N̷ ̴̚͠ ͅ ̗͊ ͕̈́́̈̾͝a̵ ̧͜ ̰ m̸ ̱̀̀̊͘͠ ͉̰ ̀ ̈́ ̨ ̡ȩ̴̫͌ ̡d ̢ ̲ ͈ ̨ ̴̧̀ ̥ H̸ ̸͓̍ ̠̩ e̵ ̢̨̜̀͆͝ ̠̾ ̕ a̷̹ ̕ v̵̼̏ e̴̢̨̡̟̓̀̆̀̎͘͜͝ ́ D̴
̴̱͑ ͉̑ e̸
̧̢ ̗ ̀ ̕ ĭ̸̲̚ t̷y̴ ̛͍́̑͜ ̃ ̍ ̧͚̈̋͘͜͝͠
̙̪̱ ̙̮͙ ̲̬ ͖̜̤̘̼ ̣ ̛ ̤͙͚ͅ ͎̝̯̦̼ ͙̻̖̼͉ ̀ ͖͔͇ͅ ̟̹̞ ̭͚͖ͅ ̩͎̟̟ ͍͇̖̲ ̥͇̰̜̖ͅ ̣ ͜ ͙̳̼̪̹ ̰̟͈̰̺ ̥͔̞ ̬ ̫͇̯̱̻ ̦̥̘̼̘̼ ̹͙̘ ̩͍̭ ̖̙̮̪ ͕̭̯͚ ̣ ͇̞͖̭ ̪̙̖̩̜̠̟ ̟͍̙̝̅ ̯̞̹͎̖ ̣̭̞͙̞ͅ ̠͙̟͈ ̺͎̪̥̯ ̫͇̗͙ ͔͍͍͉̰ ͖͙̙̤̞̿ ͜ ̛ ̞͉̥̞̗ ̲̟̮̟̯ ̿ ̞͍͍̮ ̘͍̟̗ ̻͓̯͔ ̠̤̦̺͎ ̣ ̰̠͉̪̼ ̹ ͚̯͙̲͓ ͜ ͇̹ ͉̠͎̰ͅ ͈͇̮ ̱̜ ͍͖̟ͅ ͕̬̤͉͈ ͈̟͓̤̰ ̗̭̺̱ ͕͓̙͉͔ ̭͍͓̘ ́ ̺̤̮̳̺ ̫̭̟̖ ̯̩̤͍ ͜ ̣ ̟͎͚̠̱ ̰͚̰̩̭ ͎̙̭̗̠ͅ ͓̹̳̺ ̖͕̭͕ ͈͖̬̈ ̛ ̣ ̲̯͖͕̮ ́ ̛ ̭̗̘̯͉ ̻̱͉̞͇ ̫̺̮̞ ͕̜ͅ ̣ ̯̲̰͍̭ ̹̺̹̩ ͚̖̯̝
͎̟͕̩ ͎͉̳ ͚̘͙ ̗͍ ̮͕̤ ̲̝ͅ ̫̰͈̻ ̩̳̯̼ ̗̫͕̰ ̠͓̥ ̝͖̞ ̲̖̤̯ ͚̜̞ ̜̥͙ ̫̭͖ ͖̳̹̲ ̭̟ ̠̭͎̙ ͔̭̗ ̤̬̦ ̰̭̪ ̼̞͓ ̱ ̩̤͉ ̝̲͎ ̬͎͇ ̭͈̻͇ ̠͉ͅ ̰̭̳̬ ͚̞ͅ ͔̦̖̝ ̲͉͙ ̺͉̬ ͍̝̹ ̮̜̭ ͇̘̳͎ ̯̝̰ ̹̗̯ ̫͉̝̱ ͈̤ͅ ͍̺̯̖ ̦͔͖ ̥̖̯͍ ̘͚̭͔ ͙̳͕ ̰͕ ̺̺̣ ̙͉̲̠ ̯̠͖ ̝͉̠̲ ̹͙ ̣ ͕̗̺ ̻̲̘ ̭͈̘̼ ͎̲͚̱
̹͎ ̻̟ͅ ̪̜̹ ̻̬͉ ͙̮̦̭ ͓̩̮ ̱̦͎ ̫̺̥ ̱̼ͅ ̻̪̹ ̥ ̣ ͙̮̦ ͔̘ͅ ͓͓̱ ̯͖ ̱̬̲̹ ͉̙̳ ̣ ͇̯̥ ̫͚͓ ̳̮ ̩͎͈ ͙̰͚ ͙̦ ̤͍ ̙͓͇ ̣ ̮̟̹̰ ͖̼̲ ͍̳͔ ̣ ͓̗̘ ̳̼̘ ͓̪̖ ̮̹̗ ̣ ͎͔̞ ̙̦ ̣̝̺͈ ͙͖̩ ̖̰͕ ̬̘̪ ̫̩ͅ ̬͎͔ ̙̮̪ ͉̦ ̳̼̻ ̤ ̣ ̭̖͓ ̥̰͎ ̟͕͉̘ ̱̘͇ ̩̻ͅ ͚̲͔
̥͈̞ ͎̭͚ ̰̦̰ ͖͙ ̥̟ ̤ ̜͓ ͙͔̘ ̞̙̙̖ ̪ ͙̲ͅ ̭̥̤ ̯̳̞ ͕̞͓ ̮ ̪͍ ̩̙̹ ̹̞͕ ͓̰ͅ ̠̘̠͍ ̩̘̥ ̠̹̥ ̤̘͙ ͕̼ͅ ͍͍ ̥͙ ̠̜͍ ̖̪ ͍̗̺ ̭̤̳ ̜̼̜ ͍͎̺ ̜̹̦ ̫̤̞̗ ͓̯͈ ̙͙͎ ̯̻ ̻͈̹̱ ͖͙ ͙͕͍ ̬͓̺ ͎͙̻ ̳̲͚̤ ̫̩͓̮
̫̱͓ ͖͖ͅ ̬͕͍ ̣ ̘͉̰̱ͅ ̖̙̮̰̩ ͙̥̖͍ ̟͉̭ ̯̠ ̫͍̠̳ ̩̠ ͙̳̜ ̳̯͖ ͙̭͉̳ ̞͓̪ ̥͕̠ ̣ ̼̯̗̜ ̦̻̤̬ ͚̖̭ ͇̯̲̙̣ ̬̟͓ ̣ ̫̙̺͔ ̳͚͚ ̫͓̥ ̫̙̠̙ ̥͙͔ ͎̼͉ ̮̻͇ͅ ͚̤̯̤ ̫ ̩ ̫̺̮͔ ͔ ̣ͅ ̙
̫͉̪̝ ̣ ̩̲̠̩̞ ̬̰̠̺̜ ͍̠͉̩ͅ
͔̘͓ ̝̜ ̞͈̲ ̺̭̻ ̤͖̥̗ ̟ ̟͖̦ ̪̩ ̠ ̜̗ ̣ ̻͕ ̭̩ ͅ ̦͚̬ ̞̜̻ ̪͎ ̣ ͓̟ ̣̝̯̤ ͔̘͕ ̫̞ ͎̰͉ ̲
͎͖ ͇͕ ͈̤̺ ̫̺̜ ̖ ͚ ͈ ̗̼̳ ̰ ̜̗̖ ̥̬ ̗̱ ̮͓̯
̝̙ ̪͍̱ ̰̜̥ ͓͉̲
̲ ̩ ̺ ̣ ͉̜͕̻ ̱ ̻̘ ̮̰ ͍͎
͇ ̩͖̩
͙

139
QUIBBLER INSERT

140

A
new group has risen from the ashes
of 2020, ready to take over the world.
They have apparently targeted those of
wit and learning in the hope of getting
them to join their, what can only be
described as, cult. We here at the Quibbler want
to warn anyone and everyone tempted to get
involved, because it seems that once you are in,
you can never again get out.
Although the cult acts in great secrecy, there are
some tidbits of information known. It looks like
they attempt to lure people into a false sense
of security by offering them pie and telling them
about their good causes, like saving bees from
extinction. Although these sound like very pos-
itive activities, nothing could be less accurate.
They are, in fact, a very dangerous and highly
influential group. When they speak of ‘gifs’, you
should know this is not some fancy slang for
‘gifts’. They are, in fact, horrifying moving imag-
es. One member, who wants to stay anonymous
but whose name is known at the editorial office,
reported that describing them might make them
sound like the regular moving pictures in any
wizarding newspaper, but that the truth was
much more horrifying than that. They refused to
elaborate any further, but the traumatised look in
their eyes said enough.
INSERT QUIBBLER
MLAP’s influence has already spread to Hog-
warts, rapidly gaining popularity with the inno-
cent students, and, reportedly, even some of the
staff. It is wise for parents and teachers alike to
be vigilant and recognise the symptoms, which
include, but are not limited to:
• Mlap
• Wearing anything with a bee-pattern
• Saying they want to become an accountant
• Not explaining what an accountant is
• Smiling
• Singing Christmas songs
• Doing homework
• REDACTED
When you notice any of these symptoms,
please talk to your child about the dangers of
group-pressure and wizarding cults. The leader of
MLAP is currently shrouded in mystery, but it is
reasonable to fear that we have yet another dark
wizard on our hands.
As always, we will keep you updated as the
situation progresses. In the meantime, we
urge you to be careful, lest we end up in a third
wizarding war.
- written by Eldis_
141
EXPOSING MLAP AND ALL ITS LIES
Mlap started out as an innocent name and turned into
something much bigger very quickly. Thousands of
people in the wizarding world are becoming victims to
this malicious cult. On digging deeper into this situa-
tion, some interesting truths have been found.
How Mlap came to be
Mlap started out as a discord nickname when mylifeam-
bitiom (MLA) changed to mylifeandpresents (MLAP)
Certain leaked files also suggest that Mlap corpora-
tions™ want to replace all the products and elimi-
nate other competitors, making it the only company
from which we buy anything. They have already start-
ed buying product making companies.This will make
them extremely hard to remove and they’ll be able to
raise up the prices with no alternatives for us.
The leaked files also show that they have been sell-
ing their products to muggles, violating the Statute
Of Secrecy.

This got very popular instantly. Some people saw its Mlap’s hypocrisy
popularity as an opportunity, and made a cult named
‘Mlap’. The cult got very popular and gained many Mlap corporations™ stated very clearly that they are
members rapidly. transparent in their ways and they have got nothing
to hide. Recent events have shown how they have
taken down any and every criticism against them and
Mlap’s objectives they have silenced multiple employees who have tried
to speak out against them. “I recently tried to speak
Mlap’s first objective was to change their language. out against the unjust treatment of the employees at
The people in the cult are taught to converse in only Mlap corporations™ and they silenced my voice, just
one word- ‘mlap’. This is in an attempt to separate the like countless other people,'' says Penelope Evans, a
victims from the rest of society. former Mlap corporations™ employee. She states that
Its second objective is to “optimise” people. Mlap employees are required to follow many rules which are
corporations™ have been working on a potion that very extreme and controlling and just one violation can
modifies the genetic structure of wizards and witches. cost them their job.
One of the potion masters said that they wanted to
make a potion that “helps wizards and witches reach What can we do?
their full potential.” The potion is in testing as of now
and they make the witch/wizard sign a contract which Fortunately, we can still stop them. We have to spread
states,“you are taking the potion on your own risk and awareness about them and help people who have be-
the corporation would not be held responsible for any come victims to this malicious cult. You will be able to
mishaps that might happen.” The people who have distinguish the victims easily, all of them have Mlap in
taken this potion have reported- their usernames. Don’t buy any products from the Mlap
corporations™. The Ministry Of Magic should look into
• Loss of appetite this matter immediately.
• Lessened amount of sleep
• Violent mood swings

142
INSERT QUIBBLER

143
QUIBBLER INSERT

144
 INSERT QUIBBLER

us
o dangero
e C h im aera is to
tell him th
at th ean, she
d . “N o way! I m
about girlfrie n or
o knows to be his arm once
udent wh gled my
As any st re one ve m a n sa id ,
gy, Chima
eras a might ha fun!” he
Magizoolo sts in it ’s a ll in good d
rous bea twice, bu
t admitte
st dange s he was
of th e m o
aeras are to th e 46 time for
orld. Chim referr in g (hospital
a g ic a l w Hastanesi
the m n’s head, into M a g ic a l
b e a st s with a lio
vicious ’s tail, juries).
a dragon magical in
o a t’ s body and try
a g the Minis ish Ministr
y
a re cl a ssified by X ily a n d the Turk
and vel XX XX
Mahmut’
s fa m
concerne
d for
g ic a s danger le , seriously
a l)
of M nd letha of Ma g ic w e re r the
gerous a rtment fo
(extrem e ly d a n
able so The Depa
Non-Trad his safe ty ,
of Magic
al
d a s Grade A zy to a n d Control
a n a n n house
ne would
be cr Regulatio put him o
d s. A n yo , le t decided to
Goo himaera a tu re s the
ach a C Cre much to
willing ly a p p ro
this m a n la st Saturday,
ay it; but arrest
hbours.
empt to sl taken it f his neig
alone att rkey, ha s dismay o
m G e yi k bayırı, Tu
fro ! All day
xt level. lling you
to the ne s te rr ib le, I’m te t his
“It’ ies abou
y believe
s
a ll n ig ht, he cr their
of Turke and out how
Mahmut
Ç ılg ın
tionship la th e ri ng on ab s
antic rela Ateş.. b
crazy!” M
h e is in a rom , he n e ve r die… he’s
tha t Specifically love will porter.
himaera. to our re
with a C
era, wh o he’s
e re n S ir in cried
th e Chima C
ren.
believes
th a t
girlfriend
”. dly so, Ce
is his “fiery Undoubte
te ş” ,
named “A
_11
d in an by jamsin
ornly state - Written
in lo ve ,” he stubb (2018),
“We’re Prophet
w it h T he Daily ts to
interview nt attemp
re p o rt e r’s consta
e
despite th

145
 c
QUIBBLER INSERT

Ma g i
w

146
INSERT QUIBBLER

147
QUIBBLER SPORTS
Upcoming Quidditch
Games Cancelled?
Q
uidditch, the much beloved (and
only) sport at Hogwarts has been
a unique source of joy for stu-
dents. For those who have been
living under a firecrab; here are the rules of
Quidditch. Two opposing teams are made
up of seven players: three Chasers, two
Beaters, a Keeper, and a Seeker. The Keep-
er and Chasers are responsible for defend-
ing the three ring-shaped goals and scoring
them respectively. The Beaters are tasked
with using bats to direct Bludgers away
from teammates and towards opponents.
The Seeker locates and catches the Gold-
en Snitch, which leads to the end of the
game. Even while flying in the air, Quidditch
is a very physical game and requires a high
level of commitment - not only to training
your body but also the mind. For spectators,
it's an opportunity to rave in delight or growl
with disdain as you watch members of your
house compete against other students to
win matches and possibly win the Quidditch
Cup. It's so important that some students
hold it in higher regard than the House Cup!
It's such a high point in the Hogwarts expe-
rience that students of all status write to
their parents and guardians in letters writ-
ten, primarily, around holidays, where they
feel contractually obliged to inform about
how they are faring.
148
In a new twist of events, these letters may
feature a wildly new development: Quid-
ditch is in danger of having the amount
of games played in a season decreased if
new restrictions put forward by concerned
parents on the Board of Governors are
implemented. This would follow in the
string of discussions happening during
convenings of the Board of Governors, to
reimagine a well-rounded education at
Hogwarts. With the backdrop of the Battle
of Hogwarts, among other unfortunate sit-
uations that have occurred at the school in
its long and storied history, the Board feels
empowered to make the environment as
safe as possible, even if the efforts are not
asked for by the students.
Some of you may be asking: What gives
the Board of Governors the right to
make these kinds of decisions? Who
are these people?
Well, the answer is that we may never
know. Some members of the Board are
appointed by the Ministry of Magic while
others are appointed by the Headmaster
of Hogwarts. The only notable exception
for the revealing of a member of the Board
of Governors is Lucius Malfoy, who took
great pains to ensure that all knew of his
status. Many suppose that the reason for
this shroud of secrecy is to prevent retribu-
Our source within the Board of Gover-
tion from those who are not appointed to nors for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft
the position, and to dissuade the possibil- and Wizardry spoke with an investigative
ity of outside forces making negotiations journalist of the Quibbler to share this
or different forms of blackmail/bribery radical development and the root of the
to advance reforms that could harm the concern. “The fact of the matter is, Quid-
students of Hogwarts or provide material ditch games played when it’s snowing
gain. The view of the ministry is that hav- result in poor visibility and a thirty-five
ing this structure in place has provided forpercent increase in injuries. Students
students since the founding and will con- should be leaving the school with spells,
tinue to do so. It is unfortunate that therenot stretchers.” After confirming this
were times in our history where the Board information with a mediwitch who com-
of Governors was seemingly absent in the pleted a rotation at Hogwarts, we at the
face of ministry overreach. Quibbler are still stunned by the stats. In
a follow up with our source, we asked if
While the Board of Governors were able the Board of Governors were considering
to be overruled by Educational Decrees in other forms of inclement weather possi-
the past, relevant bly warranting the
laws have been “Based on the reports we’ve same treatment.
passed by the received, snow is the most
Ministry of Magic dangerous condition to play “Based on the
to prevent it from in by far. The Board is still reports we’ve re-
happening again. considering what to do about ceived, snow is the
The harm that heavy rain but the topic of most dangerous
Dolores Umbridge snow had less detractors condition to play in
was able to wreak than any other.” by far. The Board
during the 1995 is still considering
year of schooling what to do about
could have caused irreparable harm to heavy rain but the topic of snow had less
the standing of the school for generations detractors than any other.”
to come. The sentencing that Umbridge
received after the fact (Azkaban for life) There’s no question about it, Quidditch is
and the ability for the Board of Governors a very physical sport. The risk of broken
to intercede on these matters, gave par- bones, bruising, being attacked by rogue
ents to peace of mind needed to send bludgers, choking on a Snitch, and faint-
their children back. Which brings us to the ing off of a broomstick are all heightened
possibility of the Board coming to a unan- when playing in conditions that make it
imous decision on the state of Quidditch difficult to see even a meter in front of your
and making a memorandum that shifts face. An accumulation of snow on the body
the future of play schedules in Hogwarts. can upset equilibrium causing even the
most trained broomstick riders to turn into

149
first years at their Beginners Flying Les- "For some reason, at least a quarter of
sons, struggling to stay upright. games played in the winter season have
inclement weather. Rescheduling is possible
Playing in winter weather is also ex- but it would inevitably run up into the spring
tremely unpredictable - what seems like season and lead to some drop off of games.
a flurry of snow can easily become a bliz- I try my best to have the season games
zard if you're not careful. For some, the structured in a way that don't detract from
belief of “Better to be safe, than sorry” studies, as that is the most important part
holds true especially in a hands-on game of attending Hogwarts. As an instructor, it is
such as this. After consulting with profes- my belief that we should allow students the
sional Quidditch players on the feasibility opportunity and the ability to play hard, work
of Hogwarts students continuing to play hard and study hard. Giving them an oppor-
Quidditch in the snow, they remarked tunity to build leadership, time management
that the coaches of their teams held and social skills, will mold them into up-
special training sessions on dealing with standing members of Wizarding Society. For
the snow, as well as using a different set the future of Quidditch, we will overcome any
of broomsticks for them (Hogwarts stu- changes, no matter what, and as long as it's
dents do not). It is also known that the in the best interest of the students, I am will-
training of players is “The last time I played in
ing to abide by edicts
up to the Team Cap- the snow, part of me knew submitted by the Board
tain, not a member that it may be one of the of Governors.”
of the faculty. last games I would play.”
Some players re-
Off the record, a pro- sponded to the news
fessional player of the Chudley Cannons by sharing personal anecdotes of their
said that at the end of the day, if the in- injuries while playing in the snow this past
clement weather was to a specific degree, season. They reported difficulty maintain-
games would be canceled and resched- ing the speed of their play, crashing into
uled. Of course, rescheduling is difficult. teammates and opponents alike.
But for students who are preparing for
N.E.W.T.S, among other exams, on top of "Something that we’re usually told to do is
the schedule of official matches being so to use the impervious charm on ourselves
limited at its outset, the work to resched- before we go to play in the snow. It's sup-
ule them is proving very difficult for the posed to keep the snow off of us and not
game masters at the school. Rolanda weigh us down, but for those of us with
Hooch, the flying instructor at Hogwarts, weaker magical cores, it's not gonna stay
believes that there is space to resched- on the entire game. So sometimes you
ule but it would still lead to a shortening catch yourself not being able to fully and
of the season, because of the amount adequately protect yourself from the ef-
of inclement weather Hogwarts students fects of the snow. It's really unfortunate."
seem to face.

150
Other Quidditch players agreed with the
ineffectiveness of the impervious charm
during gameplay. While it is useful for
keeping rain off of your glasses, the lon-
gest a team has been able to play while
using the impervious charm is close to an
hour, as reported by the Gryffindor Quid-
ditch team.
One of the most heartfelt pleas for change
came from a high ranking member of the
Hufflepuff Team.
“The last time I played in the snow, part
of me knew that it may be one of the last
games I would play.” A sixth year Hufflepuff
confided to the Quibbler. They continued
by saying “I tried to break hard to avoid
crashing into our Chaser and couldn’t.
The next thing I knew we were both in the
Hospital Wing and our team had to forfeit
because we didn't have enough players!”
The frustration in their voice was palpable,
dear readers. At its core, I feel that the stu-
dents agree that actions should be taken
to reduce the harm students face through-
out their seven years at Hogwarts. How-
ever, decreasing the amount of Quidditch
games without including information about
how to reschedule games amongst other
considerations was a careless choice on
their end.
We are extremely lucky that our Medical
Magic field, from spellcasting to potion
creation, has advanced to the point that
players genuinely believe that they are
invincible on the field.
The reactions to the idea of curtailing
a specific amount of games for times
when the weather allows for easier play-
ing were varied.
“I understand the concerns of the Board,
but all Quidditch players are aware of the
risks and can sit out if they want to,” Sly-
theirn’s captain went on to say, “Getting
physical is a part of the fun! Sometimes
you just want to see people risk it all in the
hopes of getting that trophy. We train very
hard to play around every circumstance.”
We give the final word to a fifth year Raven-
claw who would only speak off-the-record.
“The issue for me is, where will the Board
draw the line? Of course they’ll start with
the snow, because it's the most extreme
example. However it's only a matter of time
until a fine mist of rain becomes the dif-
ference between Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw
getting the Quidditch trophy. That’s mad!”
I couldn’t have phrased it better myself.
If any restrictions are put in place, they
should be administered in such a way
that the line is drawn and clear for all to
understand. Of course we do not need to
hold students to the same level as profes-
sional Quidditch players, but we should
try our best to respect the hard work, ded-
ication and drive they put into perfecting
their craft.
- written by mjenious
151
 QUIBBLER INSERT

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it’s finally happened. Yoichi Mitsuo, the
captain of the Japanese National Team as well as the Okinawa Onis,
has been issued one of the harshest bans in the sport - a complete
and irreversible ban on any participation in official Quidditch
business outside of his home country of Japan.

A BRIEF RACAP
Yoichi Mitsuo (28) received widespread condemnation
across the world due to his blatant racism against Muggleborns
as well as severely damaging the local spirit of the game. Not only
did he racially accost British Minister of Magic Hermione Granger
whilst dressed as a Death Eater prior to the 2018 World Cup,
which resulted in him being banned from that year’s competition
and for making the sign of Gellert Grindelwald appear during a
friendly match in 2019, but he also attacked the Japanese winner
of the Colin Creevey Young Photographers’ Award - a competition
open only to Muggleborns, and tried to prevent her from taking
pictures of the Japanese side despite this being the expressly-
stated prize of the competition.
His actions as well as the Japanese Magical Games
Department’s refusal to do anything regarding his actions - if
anything, Head of Magical Games Coda Yodo was defending Mitsuo
- has seen not only widespread condemnation from other teams
who refused to play against the Onis and the Japanese team
in friendlies and league matches, but also protests from other
Japanese players.
In our Spring issue, we reported how Japanese players were
refusing to play local matches and were instead petitioning for
Mitsuo’s removal as captain of both teams, including an interesting
cosplay-based protestation including women dressed as Power
Rangers and men dressed in maid’s outfits during a conference
where the M.G.D. attempted to strong-arm the players into

152
 INSERT QUIBBLER

returning to the field and

obeying Mitsuo’s commands.
This was three days after he
expressly stated he intended
to threaten professional
players.
Previously, our
estimates as to Mitsuo’s
punishments from
international sources were
that Mitsuo would be ineligible
for a place in the Quidditch
Hall of Fame. Overseen by the
International Confederation
of Wizards Quidditch
Committee (I.C.W.Q.C.)
to serve as a diplomatic
and authoritative name in
international Quidditch, plus
the Federation Internationale
de Quidditch Association
(officially abbreviated as
FIQA) which directly oversees
and organises the Quidditch
World Cup, the Hall of Fame
Committee’s head Mentor
Metaxas has heavily hinted
that they would be involved
in action against Mitsuo last
year after Japan’s shortlist of
athletes to named as eligible
for a place in the Hall of Fame
was not included.

153
 QUIBBLER INSERT

It was only
three words. JOURNALISTS
AND PUNDITS SHAKEN

'The Death

In a statement written by the I.C.W.Q.C.’s Wellness
Authority, the I.C.W. has managed to shock

Penalty!'
international pundits of the game by issuing a
punishment that has only been rumoured to be in the
official rulebooks and spoken of in hushed whispers
by fans.
It was such a shocking development that the
I.C.W.Q.C. has had to take out a full-page spread in
several newspapers including the Daily Prophet, Le Cri
de la Gargouille, the Wizard’s Voice and - in particular -
Kyoto Hitogami to confirm this was indeed their ruling.
Sports pundits within each newspaper were the first
to learn of this development. I was visiting a relative
when I received word, courtesy of a Howler from my
colleague in America. It was only three words.
‘The Death Penalty!’
This is the nickname as it’s known in America
and which has already entered the Quidditch
vocabulary in the mainstream as of today.
The nickname comes from the National Collegiate
Athletic Association’s punishment of the same name
which is used for when schools break the rules so
extensively that the only real punishment is to ban
them from competition for a set period of time.
It’s known as the Death Penalty because when
issued, no school’s sports program ever recovers.

THE OFFICIAL WORD

FROM

THE I.C.W.Q.C.
The following is a direct quote taken from said notice
and comprises the full ruling against Yoichi Mitsuo;

154
 INSERT QUIBBLER

“Fans and enthusiasts of the game of Quidditch,

Recently, the International Confederation of Wizards’ Quidditch Committee has become aware
of serious actions and incidents involving one player in particular. Under normal circumstances,
we rarely if ever get involved in a player’s conduct unless it were during a Quidditch World Cup.
However, the actions of Japanese Quidditch Captain Yoichi Mitsuo are anything but ordinary.

Mitsuo’s repeatedly open racism and hostility including verbal attacks against heads of
states with coaches of other teams are now well-documented, as his actions involving Sasaki Akio, a
young Muggleborn witch who he attacked. These actions have spurred the Wellness Committee - which
normally punishes coaches and event organisers for going against the spirit of the game - into
action.

Since we were asked to investigate this player last January, we have spoken to several
athletes within Japan and abroad in order to build up a closer image of what action is to be
appropriate. We have since determined that the situation is not as many fans have feared - it’s
worse than any could imagine.

Incidents that were not reported by Kyoto Hitogami but which were known to many within the
professional Japanese Quidditch community - including the Magical Games Department - was that Mitsuo
used threats of violence against players and their families in order to cement his authority.

Three players admitted they were hospitalised as a result of beatings or attacks. Four
players state that Mitsuo had presented them with photographs of loved ones unaware that there was
a person nearby with a knife ready to strike at them. Eight admitted to being beaten in punishment
after speaking in private confidence with Head of Magica Games

Yodo about Mitsuo’s abuse. And one admitted to being forced to sign a letter declaring
themselves a disgrace using a Blood Quill because they weren’t up to Mitsuo’s standards.

We take threats of violence against anyone involved in the game with the upmost seriousness.
The fact that this was not only allowed to happen is disgraceful. The fact that evidence shows that
this was not only acknowledged by Kubo but fully endorsed by the Head of Magica Games as a willing
participant is deeply worrying to the committee.

At this point, we would ordinarily wish to have a private word with the individuals in
question at the centre of these allegations. During these trying times of a global pandemic, we
even risked infection to travel to Japan in order to speak with Messrs Mitsuo and Yodo. We expressly
gave a notice of forewarning that the Wellness Committee would be meeting with the Magical Games
Department, the Japanese Minister of Magic (during this time Muranaka Tashiaki) and the private
owners of the player’s team - in this case, the Okinawa Onis. Part of this forewarning was so that
the accused would be able to explain his or her actions in a controlled, precise manner.

Neither Yoichi nor Yodo showed up. In his embarrassment, Minister of Magic Tashiaki issued
a warrant for Mitsuo to be summoned to our presence. Not only was the warrant ignored and resisted
with extreme violence, Mitsuo threatened to do harm to Muggles if they attempted to serve the
warrant again.

Our hand is forced. Our decision is clear. And our ruling is final.

155
 QUIBBLER INSERT

From this moment on, Yoichi Mitsuo is;

• Banned from competing in any official league overseen by a member-state of the International
Confederation of Wizards’ Quidditch Committee in any capacity whatsoever, including but not
limited to friendly matches; the Oceania League; and the Quidditch World Cup;

• Forbidden from the grounds of any Quidditch pitch that is host to any official league or
match overseen by a member-state of the International Confederation of Wizards’ Quidditch
Committee;

• Permanently ineligible for a place in the Quidditch Hall of Fame from now until the end of
the official nomination process. This includes being forbidden from nominating another person
or voting for who is eligible;

• Banned from any coaching position involving the game of Quidditch. This includes both
professional teams as well as school teams;

Should any team attempt to hire or play with Mitsuo within their line-up, be aware that they
will also be subjected to these punishments. If you attempt to bring a team with Mitsuo in its line-up
to any competition, you will be disqualified in an instant. Your wins for the season will be vacated and
expunged from the record. The coaches involved in attempting to sneak Mitsuo into any team in order to
compete risk a permanent ban from the game.

And while we cannot officially rule in this capacity, we strongly discourage any form of media
from hiring from hiring Mitsuo as a sports pundit.

However, he isn’t the sole person being punished. Minister Tashiaki has assured us that he would
be having strong words with Coda Yodo about his behaviour. We also have strong words.

Coda Yodo will also be subject to the same punishments as Yoichi Mitsuo, with a few others.
These include;

• Having no say or vote in international committee decisions such as rule changes and adoption,
deciding new Hall of Fame nominees or diplomatic position in foreign sports competitions

• No longer permitted within the Quidditch Committee offices in the I.C.W. headquarters.

• Will no longer receive free tickets to give out to Quidditch games including but not limited
to the Quidditch World Cup or Oceanic League.

We also extend punishment to the Magical Games Department of the Japanese Ministry of Magic. The
Department must shutter for the rest of the current Quidditch season and the entirety of next season.
The Japanese league, players and teams will be overseen by the I.C.W.Q.C. until the department is
reinstated. We strongly recommend that all past allegations we have brought to light be investigated by
the Magical Law department else we will extend the shutdown.

We have been in talks with Yodo-san to give every chance to fix this mess since the open letter
signed by every player in Japan. And we have discovered that he and his department have been sabotaging
our efforts from the very beginning. We are absolutely disgusted with Mitsuo, Yodo and the conduct of
everyone involved.

Do not attempt to appeal as you will be ignored. Do not bow before us as you will be tread upon.
Do not write a letter of apology as it will be burned. Do not cry for forgiveness as it will fall on
deaf ears.

With Grave Concern,

Chairman of the Quidditch Hall of Fame Committee

156

PUNDITS’ REACTIONS
Almost immediately after the news broke,
I was fortunate enough to be around Ginny Weasley,
formerly of the Holyhead Harpies and the current
sports editor of the Daily Prophet, has had a few
choice words to say.
‘Mitsuo turned up at a friendly attended by
Hermione in a Death Eater’s outfit,’ she began in a
voice of nothing but pure hatred, alluding to the fact
she is Minister of Magic Granger’s sister-in-law.
‘He directly attacked the winner of a competition
dedicated to a classmate- a friend of mine. He is so
lucky that we’ve never met because I’d cut off his
b****** and make him eat them.’
Viktor Krum, who had previously gotten into
a physical altercation with Mitsuo due to his antics,
was reported to have started laughing when he
heard the news. Please note, this following quote is
a transliteration as Krum was speaking in his native
Bulgarian and according to sources, what he said was
far ruder;
‘Play stupid games, get stupid prizes!
If he wants to mess around like that, he’d better
understand that the dog will end up neutered.’
Josuke Tachibana of the Kyoto Hitogami even
wrote a damning article in the paper the very day
that this statement was released.
‘There are plenty of people that say that
Yoichi Mitsuo was the Viktor Krum of his generation,’
he began, ‘a highly talented player who could elevate
any team he will play on to great success. But
unfortunately for Mitsuo, he is an example of being
too much talent with a massive ego and this was
mixed in with a horribly-toxic attitude that meant
INSERT QUIBBLER
that no-one would dare associate with him. So much
skill and talent and no-one will even look at him.
‘There is now open condemnation of his
past actions and his entire Quidditch legacy is
forever a mark of shame. Even before the news broke,
Japanese fans were aware that things were serious
as the Okinawa Onis had fired Mitsuo the evening
that the Committee had shown up, long before they
gave a verdict of his actions. Official merchandise
- Quidditch robes, memorabilia, toys - were being
recalled and fans were being notified that they could
swap them for another team member’s equivalent.
Collectors’ values for anything related to Mitsuo
went from fifty-to-a hundred Galleons to Knuts.
‘And while fans are relieved that such a
horrible influence is gone, the poison lingers. Under
the I.C.W.Q.C. ruling means that while Japan can have
a team compete in the World Cup, it’s more of a case
of… should we be sending a team? Who’s going to be
the new captain? Nobody wants to do it. And who’s
going to be the one going with them and the Minister?
‘He could’ve been someone who could’ve
led Japan to a new golden age. We could’ve won the
Quidditch World Cup for the first time - we had a
team with better stats than Ireland in ‘94! But as
far as many people are concerned, we won’t be at the
‘22 World Cup and Mitsuo’s legacy won’t be a grand
moment in sports history that will be brought up year
after year; it will be around the top of a list of most
disgraceful moments in the game.
‘At least people will stop talking about the
time two beaters started snogging in the middle of
the pitch.’
157
 QUIBBLER INSERT

KING OF
SWIVENHODGE Written by XanCanStand

The air was bitter in Herefordshire on the November afternoon in question. An occasional icy
blast of wind would rustle the central hedge in Whitney-on-Wye’s Holloway Dell and disperse the
warm breath of the spectators as it rose intermingled to the grey steel sky. No sound of joy or
anguish arose with it during the down-time between matches, only a silence of anticipation and
mounting tension. And as play resumed, still nothing could be heard from the billowing mouths of
the transfixed crowd. The only accompaniment was the swish of the brooms and the slap of the
inflated bladder. These were the 2020 All-England Swivenhodge Semi-Finals.

A game of class and skill, Swivenhodge remains the pinnacle of refined sportsmanship. Played
one-on-one, the competitors sit backwards on broomsticks and hit a pig’s bladder expanded with
air back-and-forth with the bristled end of their brooms. Points
are gained when a volley is not returned across the dell’s central
hedge. Fifty points secure a match, with five matches taking the
ONLY TRUE set. It takes speed and reflex but also endurance. Only true athletes

ATHLETES MAKE make it to the top of the mountain and take home the title Suzerain,
and true athleticism was on display at Holloway Dell this autumn.

IT TO
THE TOP
The final set was a long-anticipated grudge match involving the
brash and bold Leland Striker of Woofferton, the fiery up-and-

OF THE comer whose short temper and wild antics on and off the green
had earned him many headlines during the past year. Due to many
MOUNTAIN flagrantly unenforced penalties and an unaccountably lucky streak
of opponents forfeiting from an alarming number of unexpected
illnesses or injuries, Striker had glided through this season with
very little resistance on his way to the main event. Rather than showing humble gratitude for his
good fortune rising above more established Swivenhodge players, Striker’s confidence ballooned
after each victory, leading to more and more outlandish and highly-printable antics. The Tuesday
before the semi-finals, Striker held a ninety minute press conference at the Titterstone Clee Hill Car
Park for the sole purpose of trash-talking his next opponent, to fair attendance.

158
 INSERT QUIBBLER

This lambasted opponent, the next person standing between Striker and his self-prophesied
inevitable title is of course defending champion and local hero, Dolcie Corless of Hereford. Daughter
of Emmalina and Enoch Corless, purveyors of the Bay Horse Inn, and four-time titlist, Corless
is a juggernaut in the Swivenhodge world. Second youngest player to ever be called Suzerain,
Corless has been playing the game since the age of four. Indeed,
her parents say she was flying before she could walk, with her
signature power and speed even then. Power and speed that was
REALLY, YOU fully on display two years ago at the Hereford Regional Qualifiers

COULDN’T ASK when Corless broke the world record for shortest Swivenhodge set,
a blistering 171 minutes from start to finish against crushed hopeful
FOR A MORE and current MP Starling Papworth of Leominster. Corless has deep

DYNAMIC PAIR ties to the community that supports and adores her and in fact just
last month the Boarbloat Green was renamed in her honor. Really,
OF ADVERSARIES you couldn’t ask for a more dynamic pair of adversaries for this

FOR THIS dramatic event!

DRAMATIC But the drama began long before anyone set foot within the dell.
In the wee hours of the morning before the semi-finals, three
EVENT! muscular thugs broke into Corless’ cottage for nefarious purposes
of an unknown nature. One shudders to speculate. Thankfully,
though, Corless casts a Silent Alarm Charm on all her windows and doors and keeps her Nimbus
2000 leant against the bedside table. One can hardly imagine what the trespassers thought when
they saw Suzerain Corless javilining down the dark corridor at them. Reports from St. Mungo’s say
the unnamed assailants are being treated for “impalement-related injuries” until they are collected
by Magical Law Enforcement.

Striker appeared thunderstruck when Corless jaunted up to the players benches to rapturous
applause and shouts shortly before the opening of the semi-finals. One might assume he foresaw
another unchallenged win. And his mood did not improve during the second half of the event,
where Corless simply outclassed him in their face-off. During the first set, points scored by Corless
were constant and inexorable, while Striker’s were frenzied and intermittent. Striker was simply
swept away. The first set went to Corless 50-16. The second set, Striker tried to curse Corless
about halfway through after a particularly stunning botched return. Referees blocked the hex and
stunned Striker, who was unceremoniously dragged off the green to the sound of hearty boos.
Victory was awarded to Corless and her return to the final Swivenhodge set of the season, a
seventh for her, was assured. Yesterday word came down that Striker was “disqualified for illegal
wand use”, was fined 200 Galleons for “unsportsmanlike comportment” and had also been given
a lifetime ban in Swivenhodge by the Department of Magical Games and Sports. It truly was a
stunning end to such a remarkable showdown - one for the storybooks.

But you’ll notice neither the names Corless or Striker were featured in the above headline, and that
is simply because the second half of the All-England Swivenhodge Semi-Finals will forever be a
footnote to the first half, the set between Kane Walmsley of Monnington Court and Marten Anvelos
of Twigworth, which was one for the record books.

159
QUIBBLER INSERT

Neither Walmsley nor Anvelos garnered as much media attention as the other two would-be
champions, nor as much fan support. Walmsley has gone as far as the Quarter-Finals the last three
years and received accolades for finally breaking that barrier, including a character write-up on his
history with the sport and the area. But Anvelos was always a sort of afterthought in the reported
lists of the names of the undefeated Swivenhodge finalists, even as the list shortened set after set.
A newcomer to the sport, he is perhaps most notable in his unremarkableness. He stands 5’11’’,
brown hair and eyes, somewhat paunchy, with a faraway and distracted demeanor. Excerpts from
the only interview of his that could be found in print before the semi-finals said he most enjoyed
“dark ale and pasties'' and his favorite place was “the air over the Cotswolds''. Nothing to indicate
that Anveos would soon be a legend of history.

After the opening ceremony for the semi-finals, the first set between Walmsley and Anvelos began
promptly and 7:23AM, with the slap of the bladder echoing through the dell. And wherever Walmsley
sent it, Anvelos was there. Walmsley served with vigor and skill, but Anvelos was always there to
answer. Walmsley was also thorough in his defense, he comported himself like a true athlete at
the top of his game. But bladders were of course missed, points were let through. It happens to the
best Swivenhodge players. It happens to all Swivenhodge players. Except one.

Incredibly, the first set ended 50-nil. The attending crowd was astonished. It is unheard of to complete
a set without surrendering a single point. But their astonishment would be further tested that day.
The second set ended 50-0. As did the third. At that point, the referees called for a suspension of
the game and took 85 minutes to test everything from Anvelos’ broom to his hat for anything that
might be enhancing his capabilities. No sign of cheating or even questionable assistance could be
revealed and play resumed. Anvelos won the last two sets undefeated, to stunned silence. After
seven and a half hours, Anvelos scored 250 unanswered points and shattered a record that never
existed before. It was a performance that defies reason and makes one question the accounts
of the 130+ eyewitnesses. It is simply astonishing.

Marten Anvelos will face off against Dolcie Corless in

the All-England Swivenhodge Title Finals in the
coming new year, and may or may not achieve the
title of Suzerain at that time. But regardless, he
will always and forever be known as Lord and
Protector of the Realm, King of All Swivenhodge.

The All-England Swivenhodge

Title Finals will take place starting at
9:05AM, 02 January 2021 at Corless
Green, Aylestone Park, Hereford,
and will broadcast in its entirety
live on WWN3, rebroadcast
at 3:33PM, 11 January 2021.

160

THE
MYSTERY SPOT:
THE TRUTH
For centuries, wizards and witches have made
sure to exclude Muggles from any kind of magic
they perform. Whether it is Apparition or casting
a simple spell, we have been brought up to act
like a Muggle in front of a Muggle. We have
our own stories and many of them overlap with
Muggle myths and theories. However, we tend
to leave marks and residue after a fight which
takes eons to fade away.
The Mystery Spot is a very similar situation.
Two witches dueled to death, and caused so
much havoc that there was a disturbance on
earth. This kind of disturbance is quite dan-
gerous, and we found the story behind it all
extremely interesting. The last time such a
disturbance was caused was when Merlin
the Great was dueling his enemy, and he
emerged victorious. How could two witch-
es dueling in the 20th century manage to
cause the same amount of damage?
The witches in question are Brigid Carter
and Tabitha Ogg. Both of them were skilled
in dueling and had dueled each other
many times before. They grew up a block
away from the other, and had their own
differences. Filled with competitiveness
and envy, each one strived to be better
than the other.
The real reason for their final duel was
something more complicated than two
women fighting for the title of queen.
After finishing school, Brigid decided to
go to India for defense training. Tabitha
joined the Ministry and was given the
job of helping track down criminals. Lit-
tle did everyone know that she herself
was a criminal.
Before leaving for India, Brigid had
visited the Minister for Magic and
silently stolen his magical boots that
helped him fend off thieves, shot
out spells and acted as a channel for
magic, served the wizard, could curse
TRAVEL QUIBBLER
someone, could kill someone with
a kick, and allowed him to fly. The
boots were carefully made by an ex-
perienced engineer and cost a fortune
(and even more). These boots were his
most prized possession and once he
realized he’d lost them, his team was
in a frenzy to calm their boss down. No
one was able to make a second pair,
or locate the originals. Brigid knew that
Tabitha would suspect her, so she ran
off to India.
Tabitha, who wanted the boots just as
badly, cast Fiendfyre on Brigid’s home
in London. Raged after returning, Brig-
id tracked down Tabitha and cursed her
vision. Tabitha was then half-blind in one
eye, and could see only in gray in the oth-
er. They played games as such, till there
came a point when Tabitha was about to
cast a spell on Brigid’s fiance. That was the
final blow.
Brigid challenged Tabitha to a duel and
Apparated to the place we now call the
Mystery Spot. There was a small hut and
forest all around. Anyone present would’ve
seen only coloured bursts of light. The two
did not tire, but found strength in every
bruise and every deflected spell. The final
spell was cast in the hut by both of them,
the Killing Curse. They had their backs to ei-
ther wall and determination set in their eyes.
This was the end.
After casting their respective spells, they were
lifted in the air and started vibrating. The air
looked as if it were shaking and time seemed
to slow down for a moment. Everything was
distorted and the magical energy was slowly
absorbed by the surroundings. Nothing was in
line and making sense.
Over years, the distortion reduced and was
discovered by Muggles. They are still coming up
with more stories as to why that spot in Santa
Cruz, California did not adhere to science and
logic. In fact, it shouldn’t even exist or be phys-
ically possible. It puzzled many experts and still
does. Of course, they will never know the truth
behind the Mystery Spot.
Written by
Milomi.
161
 Christmas with a

By WizKvothe

162
Tears spilled from my eyes as I watched the passing trees sprinting across my way. I buried my face
in the Knight Bus window to hide those tears from the passengers looking intently towards me.
Snow was dripping outside, forming a tremendous layer on the huge trees, and I kept wondering
when this time would pass. I was heading back to my house from Hogwarts for Christmas Holidays.
But was this Christmas the same as last year? I questioned myself. A part of my mind was lost
outside the bus, but a tiny part answered: "No". Because Mike won’t be there with me this year. He
had gone somewhere from where he could never return.

"Thomas, guess what I have for you." Mike came rushing to my bedroom on the very morning of
Christmas. I seldom thought having a close friend as your neighbour was the best thing you could
ever have.
"Don't tell me, you’ve brought ear pads for me again," I said, unwrapping the gift, wondering what I imagined
it could be this year.
the driver
" Eh! Not ear pads! My friend, I have got something interesting for you this year," Mike said,
excitedly. was drunk
- firewhisky
I woke up with a blast as the Knight Bus took a sudden turn. I imagined the driver was drunk -
firewhisky was, after all, quite popular during winters.
was, after all,
quite popular
"A Two Way Mirror," I exclaimed. "Wow! We could talk to each other if we ever got separated, I
during
guess." I grinned.
winters.
Memories pained me as they came rushing through my mind like a high speed rocket. It struck the
peak of my sanity and numbed me from thinking about anything but my best friend Mike.

"My dear, why have you chosen this place?" an old lady beside me asked, pointing her finger
around the Knight Bus.

"I prefer the Knight Bus than the Hogwarts Express," I mumbled, though hardly anything would
come out of my mouth. I was dying to tell the old lady that it was because my friend Mike preferred
this, not me. I wanted to tell her that Mike liked the rushing sound of the Knight Bus. He liked its
fancy beds compared to the Hogwarts Express. But not a single word would pop out of me.

"My Christmas Tree looks better than yours to be honest." Mike smirked.
"Oh, really! Just because you’ve hung Toby’s dirty socks on it? Or because your tree is two inches
longer than mine?" I laughed.
Mike was outraged. " Not funny, I had to convince Toby - with huge effort - to give me his socks
because he was adamant on following my father's orders. Beat himself twice on the head with the
frying pan for disobeying my father." Mike giggled.
"Why socks, Mike?" I asked. "They don't look that good with your tree."
"These socks symbolize that the Clearwater Family believes in equality. They depict that house
elves are no less than us. They, too, deserve a break from work during the Christmas Holidays."
Mike smiled.

It was unstoppable. The tears would not stop as I remembered what Mike said that Christmas
about House Elves. He won my heart with his single concern.

163
 Soon, trees were replaced by looming Muggle buildings. They twinkled with fancy colored lights
and bulbs, and crackers were being burned out in the streets of London.

Crackers...

I immediately turned away from the window, and shifted my mind from crackers, and that night
- when these crackers took a vital piece of my life - when my friend shouted through the Two Way
Mirror for help, and when I ran towards his house. That night, I lost him. The night ended, and with
its darkness, ended my friend's life.

I saw him. I saw him sprinting through his house, which was on fire. He was wrapped in orange
flames shouting for help. The flames devoured him like a crocodile feeding on its prey. I could do
nothing but stare. I cried. He was sent to St. Mungo’s, but it was too late. He took his last breath on
25th of December, last year. And today, a whole year had passed, but I couldn't forget him.

Tears spilled, again, from my eyes as I watched the same old lady who had asked me a question,
get off the bus, and a tiny figure climb aboard, with a black hood around his face. The bus took off
at full speed.

The figure came towards me and pulled down his hood. I was shocked. It was Mike.
It was like
a sword It was like a sword penetrated my midbrain. The pain was unbearable. It was a commotion of
happiness and sadness to see my close friend. The feeling of celebrating Christmas with him was
penetrated overwhelming. I couldn’t bear to speak.

my midbrain.
Was he a ghost? Did he refuse to move on?
The pain was
unbearable. Mike came closer. "My friend, thank you! You’re dead," he said.

It was a I was speechless. “I’m dead?”

"Yes, you are, Thomas. This bus was in an accident and you decided to move on. You chose this
commotion of bus.

happiness and "Thank you for choosing this bus to move on."
"I...I’m what?" I mumbled.
sadness to see "I saw you were having difficulty moving on. You were hooked to this earth, thinking of me. You
my close wanted to celebrate Christmas with me but it wasn’t possible." He stopped. "At least not while we

friend. were alive."

I cried. The tears wouldn’t stop. But it wasn’t because I was dead and this whole journey had ended
way too earlier than I had expected it. It wasn’t because I had lost my parents. It was because I
could celebrate Christmas with my friend Mike.

I brushed my tears away and sat beside Mike.

He smiled.
I could only say a few words.
"I'm moving on."

164
 INSERT QUIBBLER

WINTER
ART WALL

IM_FINALLY_FREE
165
 QUIBBLER INSERT

IM_FINALLY_FREE

166
INSERT QUIBBLER

IM_FINALLY_FREE

167
 QUIBBLER INSERT

IM_FINALLY_FREE

168
 INSERT QUIBBLER

IM_FINALLY_FREE

169
 QUIBBLER INSERT

IM_FINALLY_FREE

170
INSERT QUIBBLER

IM_FINALLY_FREE

171
 QUIBBLER INSERT

IM_FINALLY_FREE

172
INSERT QUIBBLER

IM_FINALLY_FREE

173
 QUIBBLER INSERT

IM_FINALLY_FREE

174
INSERT QUIBBLER

IM_FINALLY_FREE

175
 QUIBBLER INSERT

IM_FINALLY_FREE

176
 INSERT QUIBBLER

IM_FINALLY_FREE

IM_FINALLY_FREE

177
 QUIBBLER INSERT

IM_FINALLY_FREE

178
ZestyXdEpArTuRe
INSERT QUIBBLER

PingCarGaming

179
 QUIBBLER INSERT

PingCarGaming

180
INSERT QUIBBLER

PingCarGaming

PingCarGaming 181
 QUIBBLER INSERT

Laughterislouder
182
INSERT QUIBBLER

Owlnightcoffee
183
 QUIBBLER INSERT

imprimis5

PingCarGaming
184
INSERT QUIBBLER

PingCarGaming

PingCarGaming
185
 QUIBBLER INSERT

PingCarGaming

PingCarGaming
186
INSERT QUIBBLER

pseudocow

187
 HOGWARTS HORror-SCOPES
Madam Starflash Sees what (mis)fortunes will befall you this (holiday) season!

CAPRICORN TAURUS VIRGO

THE THESTRAL THE WEREWOLF THE UNICORN
(DEC. 22ND — JAN. 19TH) (APRIL 20TH — MAY 20TH) (AUGUST 23RD — SEPT. 22ND)

You don't need a lot for baking, but there’s a
couple things you do, you won’t need any baking
powder, magic cooking is for you, but you must be your way (ha ha ha)!
extra careful of the law of Golpalott, magic bak-
ing is allowed, but trying to conjure food is not.
AQUARIUS
THE KELPIE
(JAN. 20TH — FEB. 18TH)
Have a merry cup of cocoa, and add some pep-
permint, it’s a way to fix your day after the way it
went. After all those mistakes you made on that
potion, you’ll need bandages and lots and lots of
murtlap lotion!
PISCES
THE MERMAN
(FEB.19TH — MARCH 20TH)
Here comes Voldemort, here comes Voldemort,
right down Knockturn Alley, with his thestrals
and Death Eaters and a body tally, he’s so evil
and so scary, but he has no nose, so Colloportus
all your doors and hope away he goes!
ARIES
THE HIPPOGRIFF
(MARCH 21ST — APRIL19TH)
Riding through the snow, in a one thestral It's the most horrible time of the year, with the
sleigh, watch out for the gnomes that will get in house-elves rebelling, and everyone yelling, you
quiver with fear, it's the most horrible time of
the year!
GEMINI
THE VEELA LIBRA
THE DRAGON
(MAY 21ST — JUNE 20TH)
(SEPT. 23RD — OCT. 22ND)
Broomstick hell, broomstick hell, broomsticks
don’t rock, brooms sway and swing and broom You'll have a pink walrus upon you, you'll be so
falls can sting, flying and dying is not so much fun, blue with bruises all on you, so watch your wand
leave the broomstick and go for a run! movements and be sure to say all incantations in
the proper way!
CANCER
THE FIRECRAB SCORPIO
(JUNE 21ST — JULY 22ND) THE VAMPIRE
(OCT. 23RD — NOV. 21ST)
Hurry up now, make dinner and some cheesecake
and more; it’s been an awful long time since you It's beginning to look like your potions are nearly
went out, so hurry to the grocery store! out of date, head for the apothecary, but always be
wary, and try not to think about what you just ate!
LEO
THE SPHINX SAGITTARIUS
(JULY 23RD — AUGUST 22ND) THE CENTAUR
(NOV. 22ND — DEC. 21ST)
Oh the weather outside is frightful, but tea-vee
is so delightful, and since you’ve no place to go, Playing around with your feisty tree may cause you
watch a show, watch a show, watch a show! quite a bop, Whomping Willow limbs everywhere,
and you can’t get it to stop!

Oh, there's no place like Hogwarts for holidays,

‘cause no matter how much you hate Jo, it’ll always
be here, so near and so dear, yes, Hogwarts will
always be your home!

188
Classifieds Reach your Prospects First
MISSED CONNECTIONS
To the girl in the green dress: I
saw you passing by in Diagon
Alley. You were wearing an
emerald dress and a vibrant
purple cloak and mask. You
hair was wild and your laugh
filled my heart with longing. If
you see this, please know you
are beautiful and I hope we get
to meet again. Yours, the girl
in the plaid dress
Missing: The holiday spirit.
I feel so lonely this holiday.
Would anyone be interested
in being a penpal? Owl Darius
Owens
Who was that lad with the
stunning blue eyes & weird sis-
ters facemask at Honeydukes?
Even from a 2m distance I
could feel our connection. If
you felt it too, please owl to
Anastasia o'Malley
COMMUNITY EVENTS
Join the Music Society for
socially distanced Christmas
caroling. We will meet in
Diagon Alley and sing for 3
hours. BYOB!
Contributors: l-lily, XanCanStand, CreativeChaosss, CynicForever7, WizKvothe, mjenious, ria_dove, rowdy_mouse, Eldis_
BUSINESS/OFFERS
Offer: Smiling Winky's half
off drinks TO GO. Enjoy the
holidays with hot spiced cider!
Need to rent winter clothes?
Lola's Winter Shop is just
for you! Hats, scarves,
gloves, stockings- you name
it, we've got it
Who cursed you? Does your
spouse seem distant and it’s
not a confundus charm? Miss-
ing a favorite dark artefact?
Missing a favorite person? For
discreet mystery solving, con-
tact FLINT & BONES, Pri-
vate Aurors, where your prob-
lem is our problem.
HELP WANTED
I NEED LAST MIN-
UTE GIFTS ANYTHING
WRAPPED AND SENT
BY NEXT OWL PLEASE
THANK YOU BUDGET
20 GALLEONS KENT
THWIPPLE CHESWICK
ARMS APT 32 TOWN YE-
THOLM
Hi! I am considering creating
a fan film based on Nymph-
adora Tonks! I have made a
community, which is r/dont-
callmenymphadora, and if
anyone would like to help or
just discuss, please feel free to
contact me!
Help Wanted! A death day
day party is being organised
at a private place. Need help
from volunteers to decorate
the place. Best interns might
get recommended to Puke's
Party Organiser.
Looking for assistance in re-
moving an Acromantula from
a windowsill- visit a certain
bookstore in Diagon Alley.
Payment rendered after com-
pletion of task.
Looking to rent a Remembrall,
as I seem to have misplaced
mine and can't remember at
all where I left it! Will happily
return the borrowed Remem-
brall once I have located mine.
Please send an owl to: 11 High
Street, Hogsmeade.
FOR SALE
pecunareo qui daedire sabet
exemptis tibi solvio patinavi.
destinemus pro icarum ex-
tricemur tempera solevi. cor-
robores senae! illare candide
mur socibus tabernere sed ax-
ens, ubi et deprerunt hic titire
respirave emporens inpudant
tablanantis. indecet avit vos
aspireo equinis! Camila adel-
marus ex durnovaria
Offered: I will make masks
with any pattern! 5 sickles for
the first mask, 4 sickles for any
additional mask with the same
pattern. Completely govern-
ment approved & safe. Get 10
masks for only 35 sickles!
189
QUIBBLER AUROR LOGS

LAW ENFORCEMENT REPORTS

BREAKING NEWS:

MLE is pleased to announce live reports of some of these logs on Wizard

radio station, "Twitch.tv/powergamersdandd" every other Friday at
6:30PM PST
MAGICAL LAW ENFORCEMENT
PATROL:
◊ 11/4/20 5:45 PM - Unidentified
flying object reported by Muggles
to local authorities. Bludger located
and confiscated.
◊ 11/17/20 7:20 PM - Illegal “fire-
works” set off at Muggle band “Fall
Out Boy” concert. Perpetrator de-
tained.
◊ 11/26/20 11:23 PM - False reports
of stolen cauldrons traced back to
underage Hogwarts student. Warn-
ing issued.
DEPARTMENT FOR THE
REGULATION AND CONTROL
OF MAGICAL CREATURES:
◊ 11/1/20 6:45 AM - Muggles com-
plain of “three-headed sand snake”
at a local ski resort. Slope combed
but no sign of runespoor.
◊ 11/30/20 11:11 AM - Unicorn
spotted amongst regular horses on
Muggle farm. Owners Obliviated and
unicorn relocated.
◊ 12/25/20 5:22 PM - Doxies found in
dilapidated Muggle building. Doxies ◊ 12/19/20 10:12 AM - Jinxed “mood
Immobilized, eggs disposed of. rings” reportedly sold to Muggle
tourists at Christmas market prove
DEPARTMENT OF INTOXICAT- to discolor fingers. Auror dispatched;
ING SUBSTANCES seller was Muggle, rings were not
magic. Auror became distinctly dis-
◊ 11/9/20 9:17 PM - Report of two gruntled.
youths attempting to smoke gilly-
weed behind the Hog’s Head. Sus-
pects were given a stern warning, DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES
though their activities were not
◊ GDFGDFGDSGDGDSFGSDGFD-
illegal.
FGDFGDGDGDGDFGDFG
◊ 11/15/20 4:02 AM - Butterbeer
◊ DGFDF;SDIGP[DFIGDSFIGDSP-
reported to contain unidentified hal-
FGDSFGDFGDGF
lucinogenic substances. Entire batch
Vanished; all consumers taken to St.
◊ KLGFSJLDKFGJLFD JDFJGLK-
Mungo’s for detoxification.
DJGDFGDFGDFGSDFSDSDFSFSD
FSFSFSDSDFSFSFSDFSDF
◊ 12/14/20 12:38 PM - Report of
four intoxicated wizards exposing
◊ HAHA, THIS LAST ONE ACTU-
hindquarters at Christmas market.
ALLY SAYS SOMETHING.
Muggles Obliviated; fine issued.
◊ KACKELDACKEL IS A WEIRD
IMPROPER USE OF MAGIC
PERSON.
OFFICE
◊ SDFSADFSADFKSFDSJDSKJD-
◊ 12/4/20 2:33 PM - Wizard calling
FLSFJOFDJIOWEIORUEWOIUER-
himself a “magician” makes objects
UIWEIRUWEOIRUWSFSDFSDFS-
disappear at Muggle birthday par-
DAFSADFSAD
ties. Taken into custody; released on
technicality.

The Minister of Magic and The Head of Magical Law Enforcement would
like to thank the Auror Headquarters, Wizengamot Administration
Services, Hit Wizards, Investigation Department, Ministry of Magic
Witch Watchers, Office for the Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit
Defensive Spells and Protective Objects, and all others that keep our
world safe.
GICAL LAW
MA E
OF
N
NT

FO
EPARTME

RC
EMENT *
* D

E
N
M

DI O
A D I VISI

190
INSERT QUIBBLER

191
QUIBBLER CREDITS

Ads Cover
Pumpkin Juice Holiday Layout:
Illustration: KackelDackel
permagrinfalcon (Using a template made by u/Mathy16)
Photo:
"Black Family Tapestry" - Bill Peloquin - Wikipedia
r/Eldertree • upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/90/
r/blackthorn Black_family_tapestry_as_seen_at_Harry_Potter_
r/woodmarket Experience.jpg/800px-Black_family_tapestry_as_seen_at_
Harry_Potter_Experience.jpg
r/elmtree
Illustration:
7ustine
Castles and Burrows
Kerusaurus Housewarming
Author:
Illustration:
Milomi10
sinsationaldoom
Layout:
KackelDackel
Spectrespecs for the New Year Illustration:
Illustration: Milomi10
permagrinfalcon
The Top Three Wizarding Holiday Decorations
MLAP Propaganda Author:
Illustration: Silvertail8
CosmicNonago Layout:
permagrinfalcon
WoodMarket
Illustration: Illustration:
HermioneReynaChase SinsationalDoom

Starflash Stitchery Crafts, Hobbies, and Brews

r/Slytherinbookclub
Layout:
KackelDackel Are You Brave Enough to Bake These Holiday
Sweets?
Author:
Auror Logs demi_fighter
Author: Layout:
starflashfairy KackelDackel
Layout:
KackelDackel Molly Weasley's Guide to Scourgifying Your Home
(Using a template made by u/Mathy16) - Give Your Room That Hogwarts Charm Part I:
Gryffindor
Author:
Classifieds new_girl2
Contributors: Layout:
permagrinfalcon
• l-lily Illustration:
• XanCanStand laughterislouder
• CreativeChaosss anne_seelmann
• CynicForever7
• WizKvothe Souper Easy & Delicious Recipes to Survive the
• mjenious Winter
• ria_dove Author:
• rowdy_mouse Eldis_
Layout:
• Eldis_ anne_seelmann
Layout: Illustration:
KackelDackel anne_seelmann
(Using a template made by u/Mathy16)

192
Dark Arts Illustration:
anne_seelmann
Your Friendly, Neighborhood Daemon victoire_delecour
Author:
Silvertail8
Layout: Ask Madam Starflash Winter 2021
anne_seelmann Author:
Illustration: starflashfairy
anne_seelmann Layout:
KackelDackel
Dominating the World with S.T.Y.L.E
Author: The Quibbler Staff Bucket Lists
victoire_delecour Author:
Layout: starflashfairy
anne_seelmann Layout:
Illustration: KackelDackel
anne_seelmann Illustration:
"Bucket" - pixel2013 - Pixabay
• pixabay.com/photos/bucket-forget-me-not-flower-
yellow-2156655/
Divination
How to Predict Your Christmas Gift?
Author: Education
WizKvothe Sinterklaas, the Dutch Santa
Layout: Author:
KackelDackel Eldis_
Illustration: Layout:
Kackel Dackel KackelDackel
Source:
The Clouded Crystal • Reasearch
Author: nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas
Silvertail8 Image
Layout: Sander van der Wel, Wikipedia
KackelDackel
Photography: What Good Ever Came from Snitchcombe
Im_Finally_Free Author:
Skilik
Hogwarts Horoscope Layout:
Author: anne_seelmann
starflashfairy Illustration:
victoire_delecour
Destiny: Forests and Lakes
Author: Anonymous Students Tell All: The Secrets and Lies
Silvertail8 of the Hogwarts Houses
Layout: Author:
permagrinfalcon 29925001838369
Illustration: Layout:
anne_seelmann KackelDackel
GamingBeagle Texture:
"Paper Old Texture" - Chris Fiedler = Pixabay
Magical Spectacles for Non-Seers • pixabay.com/photos/paper-old-texture-
Author: parchment-1074131/
Milomi10
Layout: Diving Deep
anne_seelmann Author:
Illustration: Milomi10
Milomi10 Layout:
KackelDackel
Propheteering: A Modern Conundrum
Author:
Silvertail8
Layout:
permagrinfalcon

193
Entertainment Mens Erger Je Niet: A Boardgame for the Family
Author:
Which Elective Courses Should You Take? Eldis_
Author:
Layout:
oomps62
KackelDackel
Layout:
Illustration:
oomps62
CosmicNonagon
A Lonely Christmas
Author: Snow
Eldis_ Author:
Layout: mjenious
KackelDackel Layout:
Photo: KackelDackel
Free-Photos - Pixabay Photo:
• cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/03/09/09/21/ Jill Wellington - Pixabay
snowflake-1245748_960_720.jpg cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/03/04/16/03/
snowflakes-1236247_960_720.jpg
Blaze Roscott: Two Years Later
Author: Spectra Book Review
mundungousfletcher Author:
Layout: V391Pegasi
KackelDackel Layout:
Photo: KackelDackel
StockSnap - Pixabay Image:
cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2017/08/02/01/30/ "Spectra" - Coffee House Press
people-2569551_960_720.jpg • coffeehousepress.org/products/spectra

Christmas Movie Reccomendations

Buried in Snow Author:
Author: mjenious
Milomi10 Layout:
Layout: KackelDackel
KackelDackel
Illustration:
Milomi10 How To Be A Rockstar
Author:
Christmas Is Still Christmas Milomi10
Author: Layout:
Eldis_ KackelDackel
Layout: Illustration:
KackelDackel KackelDackel

It's Easy Being Green

Author: Ratchet and Rhink
Eldis_ Author:
Layout: meddleofmycause
KackelDackel Layout:
permagrinfalcon
Illustration:
Joy permagrinfalcon
Author:
mjenious
Layout: Sin-y
KackelDackel Author:
Photo: Eldis_
Pexels - Pixabay Layout:
cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/03/09/09/30/ permagrinfalcon
woman-1245817_960_720.jpg Illustration:
Eldis_

194
The Letter I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
Author: Author:
Milomi10 29925001838369
Layout: Layout:
KackelDackel strikeblazer
Illustration:
Milomi10
Texture:
"Parchment" - geralt = Pixabay Fashion
• pixabay.com/illustrations/paper-stationery-parchment- Style Guide
old-68829/ Author:
hogwartsgrfindor
Layout:
The Spider KackelDackel
Author: Illustration:
Eldis_ hogwartsgrfindor
Layout:
strikeblazer A Collection of Poems
Illustration: Author:
7ustine mjenious
Layout:
KackelDackel
What Does Your Spell Style Reveal About You?
Author:
oomps62 An Ensemble for Pets
Layout: Author:
oomps62 Milom10
Illustration: Layout:
oomps62 strikeblazer
Illustration:
The_Architect_Nurse
The Elegy of Eldis
Author: How to Blend in at Muggle Winter Festivities
Ljosastaur5 Author:
Layout: SinsationalDoom
KackelDackel Layout:
permagrinfalcon
Illustration:
Quick Riddle permagrinfalcon
Author:
Applewinters
Layout: How to Blend in with the Muggles: A Wizard's
KackelDackel Guide to Conformity Through Fashion
Author:
Fantastic Beasts 3 Updates jinxedkittyz
Author: Layout:
Rhia1 KackelDackel
Layout: Photos:
KackelDackel Bucket Hat:
Illustration: images.pexels.com/
KackelDackel photos/5822457/pexels-photo-5822457.
jpeg?auto=compress&cs=tinysrgb&dpr=2&h=650&w=940
The Potter's First Christmas Overcoat:
Author:
images.pexels.com/
Kenzlepuff
photos/5932276/pexels-photo-5932276.
Layout:
jpeg?auto=compress&cs=tinysrgb&dpr=2&h=650&w=940
KackelDackel
Photo:
Blazer:
"Christmas Garland" - monicore - Pixabay
images.pexels.com/
• pixabay.com/photos/christmas-decoration-xmas-
photos/4071424/pexels-photo-4071424.
holiday-2937873/
jpeg?auto=compress&cs=tinysrgb&dpr=2&h=650&w=940

Skirt:
images.pexels.com/
photos/4937449/pexels-photo-4937449.
jpeg?auto=compress&cs=tinysrgb&dpr=2&h=650&w=940

195
Charm Away the Christmas Gift Blues!
Author:
Magical Plants and Creatures
XanCanStand
Boggarts in the Muggle Mainstream
Author:
Layout:
Rhia1
strikeblazer
Layout:
Illustration:
permagrinfalcon
tipsytippett
Illustration:
icantreachtheoctave

Independent Art/Winter Art Discoveries of Corbin Hediadar: Galloping Gulpers

Wall Author:
Rhia1
Fall Photography Layout:
Artist: pernagrinfalcon
Im_Finally_Free Illustration:
Milomi10
Uncolored Penguin
Artist:
ZestyXdEpArTuRe The Midnight Sun- Nightly Rituals
Author:
Milomi10
Nature and Architecture Photography Layout:
Artist: KackelDackel
PingCarGaming

Ravenclaw Pets Spotlight

Luna Lovegood Author:
Illustration: Eldis_
Owlnightcoffee Layout:
KackelDackel
Illustration:
Happy Christmas Ya Filthy Muggle Eldis_
Illustration:
laughterislouder
News and Features
Newt Scamanber Sacred XXVIII Dissolved; Amnesty for Voldemort's
Illustration:
imprimis5 Supporters at Last
Author:
A_Syed_07
Layout:
Potted Mandrake
KackelDackel
Illustration:
Illustration:
pseudocow
A_Syed_07

The Peculiar Way Japan Deals with Breaches of

Secrecy
Author:
KackelDackel
Layout:
KackelDackel
Illustration:
KackelDackel

Man Believes He is in a Relationship with a

Chimaera!
Author:
jasmin_11
Layout:
permagrinfalcon
Illustration:
CosmicNonago
196
Muggles on Magic
Author: Marten Anvelos, King of Swivenhodge
Milomi10 Author:
Layout: XanCanStand
permagrinfalcon Layout:
Illustration: permagrinfalcon
Milomi10 Illustration:
victoire_delecour
Troublemaker Wizards Manage to Blast an Entire
Continent with the Confundus Charm
Author:
deathstar1310
Travel
Layout: The Mystery Spot: The Truth
KackelDackel Author:
Milomi10
Layout:
KackelDackel
MLAP: Reasons to Join, Reasons to Fear.
Author:
CosmicNonagon Christmas with a Close Friend?
Layout: Author:
KackelDackel WizKvothe
Layout:
permagrinfalcon
Stop MLAP: The Danger of the Decade Illustration:
Author:
7ustine
Eldis_
Layout:
KackelDackel
Illustration:
Eldis_
Image Sources:
• knowyourmeme.com/photos/1360849-you-know-i-had-to-
do-it-to-em
• unsplash.com/photos/qWXPMu5SGsA
• unsplash.com/photos/WXX_DhjlmD4
• unsplash.com/photos/9fmJQHDdB0A
• unsplash.com/photos/pvf_-SOhyfw
• unsplash.com/photos/h73jxsQweccC

EXPOSING MLAP AND ALL ITS LIES

Author:
mylifeambitiom
Layout:
KackelDackel

Sports
Upcoming Quidditch Games Cancelled?
Author:
mjenious
Layout:
KackelDackel

IT'S OFFICIAL - YOICHI MITSUO HAS BEEN

BLACKLISTED FORM QUIDDITCH WORLD
CUP
Author:
res30stupid
Layout:
permagrinfalcon
Illustration:
SinsationalDoom

197
 QUIBBLER INSERT

198
INSERT QUIBBLER

199
All Articles were Written by Quibbler Staff and Owned by Special Conspiracy Productions
Productions except ones that are noted. For use of any articles in The Quibbler, Please
contact Special Conspiracy Productions Copyright ©