Cari Burkholder

CO 300
12-3-04
What do I Want to be Now that I am Grown Up?

We’ve all been asked the question a dozen times over ever since we mumbled our first coherent

sentence about our poopy diaper. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Well first, as I’ve recently

discovered, to answer this question one really must grow up. Second, I’ve also discovered that growing up is

over-rated and I’m just now coming to understand the adage “Youth is wasted on the Young.” And third, I’ve

come to realize that after all these years all my wishful thinking, all my role-play/dress up/pretending, and all

my work towards the goal of college graduation- that I still have no frikin’ clue as to what I want to do with the

rest of my short, insignificant life.

Then this assignment came along. So now, in order to meet my college graduation goal I will now have

to complete a career path choice goal. Who says I don’t have my priorities straight?

I will have, in a short one week’s time, a sparkly new Bachelor’s degree in Psychology. And I have

been told by many psychology professors such as Melissa Dakin, M. S., and other psych professionals such as

Laura Burlingame-Lee, M. S, that it is one of the most ‘useless’ degrees; next to History, Foreign Literature and

Liberal Arts. (No offense to any of those currently holding or earning these degrees, and by the way, happy

job-hunting).

So now what shall I do? I am too tired, poor, and lazy for graduate school and yet I’m destined for a job

in either a prison or a preschool without the bigger, better version of a Bachelor’s-- a Master’s! Jobs for

Bachelors’ in Psychology are few and far between, not to mention fought over like the last Pillsbury crescent

roll at Larry the Cable Guy’s Christmas parties. There is very little I can actually do with this fresh and minty

piece of paper. Most psychology jobs that make you any kind of a survivable wage are Master’s positions. The

best ones are Doctorate level but let’s not get carried away.

I know what I like to do. I like inventing, being creative, writing, reading, tv, movies, kids (usually),

helping people, laughing, making others laugh, and talking for very long periods of time about myself. So, with
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this whimsical combination I am suited for a career in being a languid, yet funny, street bum. There is no

monetary value in being a good-natured, egotistical clown. I’m not entirely money centered, but I have a movie

habit and a cat to feed. So, need money, have degree. The most obvious thing is to search for a job that

requires me to have it.

To start my job search I went to the obvious place for any information I could ever want of any kind, the

Internet. I started with a general MSN search for psychology jobs, found a few sites like Monster.com and

Job.com, and went through what they had. Neither site helped much. The site www.ihirementalhealth.com

seemed like a good bet until I saw I had to pay to post a resume or get any kind of service at all. So I guess you

really do have to have money to make money.

I looked all over the CSU student job site as well. The best I found that I’m qualified for was nanny

jobs. I applied to them all anyway. We’ll see what happens there. I’m not getting my hopes up for a stellar job

with only a Bachelor’s anyway.

While rummaging around some of these job sites I did find one or two beacons of hope. I say they

didn’t help because there was more ‘rough’ than ‘diamond’. Nursing jobs were in the most abundant supply, so

anyone reading this going into that field, congrats. I ended up applying for a few things like ‘residential

counselor’ and ‘toddler teacher’. Now the counselor thing isn’t what it sounds like. It’s sitting in front of a

security camera screen from 6 pm to 6 am making sure a bunch of ‘bad’ kids don’t make trouble during the

night (basically a really smart security guard). Then the toddler thing is just a glorified nanny, again, not really

my thing. I’m the oldest of four kids; I’ve had enough of them. I don’t even plan on having any of the little

monsters of my own, Goddess save me.

The site www.sciencejobs.com seemed like the jackpot by the tagline “Looking for Psychology jobs?

Look no further than New Scientist.” Then I saw all the jobs were in the U.K. Now, I did make a vow that if

Bush got re-elected I’d leave the country, but I kind of have to have money first, so England is out of my

league.
 Cari Burkholder
CO 300
12-3-04
Then there was www.socialpsychology.org/career.htm#academiclistings, the on-line psychology career

center. Here, at least, I felt there was hope. After much exhaustive searching I found that being the egotistical

clown might not be a bad idea. Even www.collegegrad.com wasn’t much help.

Then I found something kind of cool, a place to evaluate the current job market in psychology;

stats.bls.gov/oco/ocos056.htm. Some facts from the site: More than 1 out of 4 psychologists are self-employed;

nearly four times the average for professional workers. Most specialists, including clinical and counseling

psychologists, need a Doctoral degree; school and industrial-organizational psychologists need a Master’s

degree. Opportunities in psychology are limited for those with only a Bachelor’s degree. Basically, it said

everything I already knew.

But here’s some stuff that was kind of new: Psychologists held about 139,000 jobs in 2002.

Educational institutions employed about 3 out of 10 salaried psychologists in positions other than teaching, such

as counseling, testing, research, and administration. Three out of 10 were employed in health care; primarily in

offices of mental health practitioners and in outpatient care facilities, private hospitals, nursing and residential

care facilities, and individual and family service organizations. Government agencies at the State and local

levels employed 1 in 10 psychologists, primarily in public hospitals, clinics, correctional facilities, and other

settings.

Some psychologists work in research organizations, management consulting firms, marketing research

firms, religious organizations, and other businesses. After several years of experience, some psychologists—

usually those with Doctoral degrees—enter private practice or set up private research or consulting firms. In

addition to the jobs described above, many psychologists held faculty positions at colleges and universities, and

as high school psychology teachers. As interesting as all of it was, there’s not a whole lot in there that I want to

do.

Research is out. I hate doing research-- all the books, and citing, and, well, research. Ick. Then there’s

clinical. I can be a great friend and a good listener, but sitting in a room for eight hours listening to some rich
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kid bitch about how their parents’ don’t understand them just isn’t my thing either. I wouldn’t mind teaching,

but I need a higher degree. Most of what I can do with my degree I don’t want to do.

So in short, I don’t think I made a fantastic choice of majors. I liked learning about psychology, but

doing it is very different. I went through it because I thought it would offer more chances for jobs than a

creative writing degree, which is what I really like doing (and have been told I’m rather good at in thanks to my

unique voice and so forth). So far, I’m feeling like I might have made a mistake. I’m not out of ideas yet

though, it’s very hard to discourage me. I’m going to keep looking and eventually I will find my place. I’m too

stubborn not to.

References

Burlingame-Lee, Laura. Interview given on December 8, 2004.

career.stuser.colostate.edu/. Accessed on December 4, 2004.

collegegrad.com. Accessed on December 4, 2004.

Daikin, Missy. Interview given on December 5, 2004.

ihirementalhealth.com. Accessed on December 4, 2004.

Job.com. Accessed on December 5, 2004.

Monster.com. Accessed on December 4, 2004.

msn.com. Accessed on December 6, 2004.

career.stuser.colostate.edu/. Accessed on December 4, 2004.

sciencejobs.com. Accessed on December 4, 2004.

ses.colostate.edu. Accessed on December 3, 2004.

socialpsychology.org/career.htm#academiclistings. Accessed on December 7, 2004.

stats.bls.gov/oco/ocos056.htm. Accessed on December 6, 2004.