Living a meaningful life

Since time immemorial human beings have

been interested in the ultimate question - what
is the meaning of this existence? What is this all
about? Why are we here and what are we
supposed to be doing here? Some think that to
have a life that is fulfilling and meaningful we
need to discover answers to these questions.
They also rationalize that since there is a world
there must be someone who created this
world and this creator must have had
something in this mind when he created this
world. He must have had a purpose or reason
or meaning behind his creation. Some people
spend an entire lifetime trying to decipher this
meaning and they find this enquiry meaningful.
Assuming there really is a purpose and it was
revealed to us then it would probably do us
more harm than good. Instead what the creator
has done is to give us the freedom to choose
our own purposes and meanings. As many
people so many meanings that can be created.
Imagine if all of us were chasing the same
purpose. What a boring world it would be. That
is one of the problems with religion. They tell
you that every single human being has only one
purpose in life and that is to realize God. And
everybody has his own understanding or rather
misunderstanding of what realization means
and what God means.
Even assuming that the transformation of
human consciousness is the purpose of our
existence it may not really be of interest to all
people. It is not worthwhile pursuing something
that does not mean much to you. We are all on
a life long wild’s goose chase, forever seeking a
meaning which we think is ‘out there’ and not
‘in here’.
When each person chooses his own meaning
then we can have a Mother Teresa who found
meaning in tending the downtrodden , a
Gandhi who found purpose in liberating our
country and a Kalidasa who gave meaning to his
life through sublime poetry. Those who have
found meaning in any activity should really feel
blessed. There are millions in the world who
are struggling to find real meaning in anything
in their lives. There are millions who keep
asking others to tell them what would give
them most meaning. There are also millions
who don’t bother about such things. What
meaning weaning? Life is too short, let us have
a good time, they say. They find meaning in
‘having a good time’. But unfortunately that is
never going to fulfil them in the long run.

Meaning can be found in almost any activity.

For instance there are some who find purpose
in taking care of their families, others in
building an industrial empire, others in helping
others, yet others find meaning in studying
birds. To some taking care of sick cows is
meaningful while to others it is a waste of time.
What is meaningful to one person may not be
so for another. There is no need to go looking
for activities that are considered superior by
society which seems to be the general mindset.
Whatever work anyone is doing will always
benefit society in some way or the other. If
painting or dancing or writing software gives
more meaning, than say social work, it would
be better to pursue these. If you find anything
good which gives you meaning just hold onto it
tightly. Don’t abandon it because it is not
something superior.

What is really important is the depth of

meaning we give to any activity. The greater
the meaning the more enriching and fulfilling
life will be. The sense of emptiness many of us
feel within is largely due to lack of depth of
meaning in what we do.
Let me illustrate the power of meaning in two
very important areas of our life – relationship
and career. If we don’t find sufficient meaning
in these two areas it is unlikely that we would
be leading fulfilling lives. When meaning is
developed to a high level we will get the
necessary resources and powers for actualizing
and fulfilling that meaning. Our thoughts and
actions will be aligned to the meaning. Greater
the meaning more powerful and imaginative
will be those thoughts and actions. Meaning is
like a magnet. It draws life energy powerfully
into itself. Life rewards those who create
powerful meanings.

The teacher

Let us say you are a teacher. Being a teacher

means many things to different people. That
meaning makes all the difference between an
ordinary teacher and an empowering one.

At the lowest level teaching could mean just

another job for earning a livelihood. Then all
that will happen is you would be going to your
place of work, doing a mechanical job eager to
get back home. The clock will rule your day. You
are not really all that interested whether the
students get what you are teaching or not. You
have done your duty of teaching for which you
get paid. If the students haven’t grasped it,
tough luck for them. You may even get irritated
if asked to take on additional responsibilities.
Home and other activities have more meaning
for you than your teaching. That which has
more meaning will always have a greater pull
on us and we will naturally gravitate there. At
this level the meaning you give to your teaching
profession would not allow you to be and do
anything else. This is a level where work in itself
is meaningless, it is just a task done for the
monthly paycheck. There is no spark within.

At another level the subject you teach means

so much to you that you want your students to
be as passionate about it as you are. You impart
the teaching with enthusiasm because you love
your subject. The subject excites you. You are
at your best when teaching your subject. The
fervor with which you teach catches on with
the students. They then become as excited
about the subject as you are. You are not only
transmitting knowledge but also your
enthusiasm along with it. An animated teacher
can animate her students. This is a level where
there is a spark in you.

Let us go to yet another level of meaning. At

this level teaching could mean not just teaching
but an urge to contribute to the existing body
of knowledge in the area of your specialisation.
This will motivate you to engage in research
and think independently instead of accepting
what others have said about the subject. At this
level you will automatically get more energy
from the universe to fulfil your meaning. You
would be willing to spend more time and invest
more energy on research and both time and
energy will become available to you
mysteriously. It is almost as though the
universe is saying – give more meaning to what
you do and I will give you the necessary
resources. You look at the subject with
enormous respect. You literally live with the
subject and it envelopes your whole being. At
this level the spark is becoming a glow.

Let us proceed to the highest level of meaning.

At this level you are not merely concerned with
transmitting information to a group of
students. Teaching means much more than that
to you. You are as much interested in the
students themselves than in what they are
learning of the subject. The students mean a
lot to you. You become a ‘teacher’ not in the
sense of being a specialist in the subject but
also in developing the students potentialities.
Their growth and development is your concern.
You are ruthlessly committed to making a
difference in their lives. You then operate at
two levels- on the level of subject and on the
human level. When there is the human touch
then there is a different quality to your
teaching. It has, what one may call, ‘soul’ to it.
It is just not imparting bits and pieces of
information to pass an examination. Knowledge
fuses with being and transmission at this level is
the highest attainable. The subject emanates
from you effortlessly. There is tremendous love
and passion in your teaching and it is felt by all.
At this level of meaning your entire being
transforms. The role of teacher has taken a new
dimension altogether. Everyone looks up to
you. You empower people around you and they
empower you too. Here the spark has become
a flame.
The Family

To the majority of people family means the

most to them. As far as relationships go we
operate from a very limited circle. Beyond
family, relatives and friends the rest of the
world means very little to us. If every human
being meant a lot to us the world would be a
very different place altogether.

At a very selfish level the family could mean a

place where you are with familiar people whom
you can take for granted and order around. You
can be your nasty little self and drop all the
masks and pretenses required in the outside
world. At this level the spouse and children are
looked upon as social obligations. They are
there because you got married and you got
married because your mother pestered you to.
You will not participate in the household chores
as well as in the homework. That is for the
others. You are there only to bring in the
money and watch television. Your work cannot
be sacrificed for family. If they disturb your
peace you will oblige by shouting at them. You
will go where you want without informing
anyone and come home any time you want.
Your friends mean more to you than your
family. Communication with the family
members is very limited. The family is there
only as a means to an end for your needs.
There are still a few people who live at this
level of meaning.

At the next level you do everything out of the

textbook. You are ‘nice’ to everyone in the
family, very pleasing and good natured. You
don’t rub anyone on the wrong side. Yet the
notion of ‘family’ has not really gotten into your
head. You are unable to anticipate their
expectations. You will do something for the
family if asked to. It is more a reactive
relationship than a proactive one. The meaning
of family is not powerful enough for your
imagination to think up new ways of keeping
your family happy. So also your communication
is not powerful enough to empower them. The
time you spend with them is more because that
is what you are supposed to do and that is what
the seminars and self help books say. Disputes
and disagreements put you off. You would
rather not have them. Many people live at this
level of meaning. It is a fairly good level of
meaning but not deep enough.

At the highest level of meaning thoughts of

family occupy your mind at various times
during the day. You call up at least once to find
out what is happening at home. You are happy
to hear the voice on the other end.
You come home with eagerness and are happy
to see the faces of your loved ones and they are
happy to see you. You spend time together,
discuss things together and play games
together. You are constantly creating
memorable moments for them. You
consciously make it a point to talk to everyone
at home everyday. Nothing profound is
discussed but you make your presence felt that
they mean something to you. This is conveyed
through your body language and emotional
language. The manner in which you talk to
them and the choice of words makes them feel
that they mean a lot to you. You frequently hug
them and actually say it out loud that they
mean so much to you and you would be at a
loss without them. You are perceptive enough
to know their expectations without them telling
you and you surprise them by fulfilling their
unspoken wishes. You are careful while
speaking and don’t fling words carelessly
causing hurt and bruised egos. You resolve
conflicts with maturity. When you say
something you keep your word and your family
knows that you say what you mean and will do
what you say. You also keep in touch with the
extended family of relatives on a regular basis.
You make your wife feel like a queen, your
parents feel blessed to have a son like you and
your children think they couldn’t have asked for
a better father. All of them mean the world to
you and you mean the world to them.