Republic of the Philippines

Department of Education
Region IX, Zamboanga Peninsula
Division of Zamboanga City
DON PABLO LORENZO MEMORIAL HIGH SCHOOL
Stand-Alone Senior High School
Governor Ramos Avenue, Zamboanga City

MODULE ON LIFE SKILLS FOR TVL

SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS

Developed for Fundacion Concordia y Libertad and Philippine Business for

Social Progress under the project “Fortalecer competencias profesionales, el
compromiso cívico y empleabilidad de jóvenes y mujeres desplazadas en
Marawi y Zamboanga, Mindanao” (Strengthening professional skills, civic
engagement and employability of young people and women displaced in
Marawi and Zamboanga, Mindanao)
SESSION 1 UNDERSTANDING THE CONTEXT OF YOUTH TODAY

Objective: To be able to understand better where the teenagers of today are coming from.

Brief note to the facilitator: This session provides guide to the teacher-facilitator on how to
execute the session with their students.

SESSION 2 (A) ASSESSMENT

I. Introduction
For growth to occur, one must first be aware of his/her strengths and areas for
improvements. Awareness of one’s self will help the person become the best version
of himself/herself.

Objectives: To know how the students are performing in the different key
areas of their lives
II. Activity

MY PROTECTIVE FACTORS

Instructions: Review each of the following protective factors, and mark the scales to
indicate how well you are performing in each area.

Social Support

• Ability to talk about problems

• People to ask for practical help
• Feelings of love, intimacy or friendship

Weak Moderate Strong

Coping Skills

• Ability to manage uncomfortable emotions in a healthy way

• Awareness of one’s emotions, and recognition of how they influence one’s behavior

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 Weak Moderate Strong

Physical Health

• Adequate exercise or physical activity

• A balanced and healthy diet
• Medical compliance (e.g. taking medications as prescribed)

Weak Moderate Strong

Sense of Purpose

• Meaningful involvement in work, education or other roles

• Understanding of personal values, and living in accordance with those values

Weak Moderate Strong

Self-Esteem

• Belief that one’s self has value

• Acceptance of personal flaws, weaknesses and mistakes
• Belief in ability to overcome challenges

Weak Moderate Strong

Healthy Thinking

• Do not ruminate on mistakes, personal flaws or problems

• Ability to consider personal strengths and weaknesses rationally

Weak Moderate Strong

Refer to the Protective Factors to answer the following questions. Write your answers on
the box/ space provided.

1. Which protective factor has been the most valuable to you during difficult times?

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 2. Specifically, how have you used this protective factor to your advantage in the past?

3. What are two protective factors that you would like to improve?

4. Describe how things might be different if you were able to improve these protective
factors.

5. List specific steps or actions that might help to make these goals a reality.

2017 Therapist Aid LLC Provided by TherapistAid.com

Reflection/ Processing Questions:

1. How did you feel while marking the scales in your protective factors?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
2. Did you discover something new about yourself while answering it?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________

3. How will these protective factors help you in dealing with the challenges in your life?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Points to emphasize:

• It is important for us to be aware of our areas of strengths and areas for improvement.
• Given our limitations, we are reminded that we shouldn’t get stuck where we are; there
are a lot of opportunities ahead of us. We only need to discover and muster the courage
to give it a try.

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SESSION 2 (B) SELF-AWARENESS/ANALYZE STRENGTH

I. Introduction
This activity is aimed to strengthen the first activity. The students are asked to
identify more of their strengths to further build their confidence.

Objective: To be able to identify areas of strength for the students to anchor themselves

STRENGTHS EXPLORATION

Those who know their strengths and use them frequently tend to have more success in several
areas. They feel happier, have better self-esteem, and are more likely to accomplish their goals.

To use your strengths effectively, it’s important to have a clear idea of what they are, and how
they can be used. Some of your greatest strengths might be easy to recognize, while others go
unnoticed because they feel ordinary to you (even if they aren’t).

In this worksheet you will identify your strengths and ways in which you are already using them.
Additionally, you will explore new ways to use your strengths to your advantage.

II. Activity

CIRCLE your strengths from the choices below, or add your own at the bottom.

Wisdom Artistic ability Curiosity Leadership

Empathy Honesty Open mindedness Persistence

Enthusiasm Kindness Love Social awareness

Fairness Bravery Cooperation Forgiveness

Modesty Common sense Self-control Patience

Gratitude Love of learning Humor Spirituality

Ambition Creativity Confidence Intelligence

Athleticism Discipline Assertiveness Logic

Optimism Independence Flexibility Adventurousness

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RELATIONSHIPS

Romantic relationships, friendships, family

List the strengths you possess that help you in your relationships.

Describe a specific time your strengths were able to help you in a relationship.

Describe two new ways you could use your strengths in relationships.

SCHOOL

List the strengths you possess that help you in school.

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Describe a specific time your strengths were able to help you in school.

Describe two new ways you could use your strengths in school.

2018 Therapist Aid LLC Provided by TherapistAid.com

Participants will individually answer the worksheet .

Reflection/ Processing Questions:

1. What new strength/s have you discovered from the activity?

______________________________________________________________________________________________
2. How will these new strengths help you in your life?
______________________________________________________________________________________________
3. Was there anything that struck you while doing the activity? Why?
______________________________________________________________________________________________

III. Input

SURVEY ON CHARACTERISTICS OF MILLENIALS

Truth about the youth: The difference of the Filipino millennial

A new study by McCann Truth Central highlights how Filipino millennials stand out from their
global peers on their view of social media, adulthood, and social responsibility

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Nikki Natividad

Published 3:11 PM, October 26, 2016

Updated 3:25 PM, October 26, 2016

MANILA, Philippines — The millennials – also known as Generation Y, the YOLO generation, or
those born between 1981 and 2000 – are taking over.

By 2025, millennials are estimated to account for 72% of the global workforce. This means that
the attitudes and traits of these self-involved, selfie-taking individuals are what will be shaping
various industries, both as workers and consumers. That’s why so much extensive research is being
done to get a better picture of them.

So far, much of the research that's been done have generalized this generation. Studies tend to
summarize insights from millennials in developing and developed countries, where circumstances
greatly vary.

What about the little nuances that make Filipino millennials different?

In order to paint a clearer picture of Filipino millennials, McCann Truth Central, McCann World
group’s global thought leadership unit, conducted an original study for 2016 dubbed The Truth
About the Youth Philippines.

This is part of a larger study that consists of findings from 33,000 interviews across 18 countries
including the US, Germany, Japan, and the Philippines.

As it turns out, there are certain things the Filipino youth do or care about more than their
millennial counterparts in other countries. Here are some interesting statistics to note:

On adulthood, thanks to multi-generational homes and a highly collectivist culture, Filipinos are
more closely knit to their family.

• 83% of Filipino youth are still heavily reliant on their parents for advice, as compared to 73%
globally

•However, Filipino youth believe that 30 is the age at which it stops being socially acceptable to
live with parents – 2 years younger than the global average of 32.

Filipino millennials are more active on social media, and are more easily influenced by it compared
to their peers

• 22% of Filipino youth have written a negative comment about somebody they know, higher than
the Asia-Pacific average of 16%

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• 61% of Filipino youth feel pressured to portray themselves in the best way possible on social
media, higher than the global average of 53%.

• 1 in 2 Filipino youth say that seeing their friends post on social media can make them feel
inadequate

Filipino youth also feel strongly compelled to make an impact on other people's lives.

• 96% feel that we all have a responsibility to make a positive contribution to the community we
live in – higher than the global average (89%).

• 26% of Filipino youth want to be remembered as a person who has changed the world.

These are just some of the figures from the worldwide Youth Study conducted by McCann Truth
Central. The full results will be released at a later date.

It’s interesting to see the little discrepancies that set the Filipino millennial generation apart from
their peers. It begs to ask: how else are we different, and how are these differences relevant for
our country's future? – Rappler.com

Millennials: Understanding the Generation

This presentation will help us understand this generation and hopefully will be able to find some
common grounds to work hand in hand with them.

SESSION 3 (A) SOFT SKILLS DEVELOPMENT

10 Soft Skills for Job Readiness

Tressie William
Unlike hard skills (technical skills), soft skills are hard to quantify.

And, besides, hard skills can be easily taught or developed on the job, but soft skills are those set
of skills that employees must already possess prior to joining an organization.

Gone are the times when organizations ignored the importance of hiring employees with
stupendous soft skills. In the current times, employees with desirable soft skills such as positive
attitude and communication skills are favored highly as compared to their counterparts.

Soft skills are those set of specific personality traits that makes an employee compatible to work
with. Empirical studies indicate that soft skills are an effective indicator of someone’s job
performance just like the hard skills.

Hence, organizations leave no stone unturned in ensuring that they hire an employee possessing
the most attractive set of soft skills.

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Below mentioned are 10 of the most common online soft skill courses available for job readiness.
Read further to know more.

1) Good Communication Skills

There are plenty of job readiness training programs available online wherein they prepare
participants to develop good communication skills. Unarguably, getting a job requires one to be
good in communication skills.

Keeping in mind the pertinence of effective communication skills, organizations hire only those
candidates who can effectively present their suggestions and ideas with clarity and focus.
Therefore, look for programs that include communication skills in their soft skills training module.

________________________________________

2) Time Management

Candidly speaking, it is better to compromise on all other facets of the potential employee but
not on his or her ability to prioritize tasks and work. In other words, a candidate should be able to
use his time on the job wisely.

Managing time is an exceptionally vital soft skill that candidates need to invariably possess for
any job they wish to be hired for. The point is, getting the right things done in time is of absolute
importance, and thankfully, time management skills can be learned.

________________________________________

3) Problem-Solving Attitude

Companies are more concerned with an individual’s abilities to handle problems. They are more
interested in knowing how a candidate will behave when faced with a problem. This is where a
course in problem-solving will help.

In both classroom and online soft skills training courses, steps pertaining to problem-solving are
imparted. Identifying the problem, listing potential solutions, evaluating the solutions, and so
forth should be taught.

________________________________________

4) Assisting Fellow Workmates

A lot of surveys suggest that employers encourage a work culture where teamwork is valued. Every
time when a new employee is hired, the existing employees should take the initiative in coaching

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the new member along the way. All the members of a particular project should be seen as one
team representing one company.

________________________________________

5) Ability to Do Presentations

This particular soft skill can be quite overwhelming to a few especially if they lack confidence in
their communication skills; however, the good news is, there are some really good online courses
available to nurture an individual’s presentation skills.

All organizations demand a candidate to be able to present management, regardless of his or her
position in the company. You don’t have to be a communication specialist to know presentations,
and it is a soft skill that is expected by all employers.

________________________________________

6) Confidence

Remember confidence is a choice and it may not be entirely based on truth. It is undeniably a trait
that can be learned through practice and self-awareness.

Online courses with the right coaching will be able to help you develop confidence in your skills
and in your talent. At this point, you need to start having positive self-talk and start managing
what is going inside your brain.

________________________________________

7) Having A Strong Work Ethic

Another pivotal soft skill required in employees is about having a strong work ethic while getting
the job done. Developing a good work ethic begins at the educational level, and what better way
than to enroll in an online soft skills program that teaches you the principles of work ethic from
scratch. Such amazing learning opportunities will give you the platform to develop and cultivate
your own work ethics.

Employers will appreciate those workers who exhibit a sense of strong work ethic in their daily
activities as there is really nothing better than having a dependable employee work for you.

________________________________________

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8) Flexibility and Adaptability

They say (and, rightfully so), “change is the only thing constant”. In the corporate world, you never
know what to expect as there are so many variables at work on a daily basis. And, therefore, you
are expected to remain versatile in your work approach. It is a valuable skill to be able to change
as per the circumstances.

The ability to adapt to new and immediate situations is imperative in order to survive in such a
fast and competitive environment. The role of an online soft skills course here is, help individuals
embrace the change instead of being fearful of it.

________________________________________
9) Learning to Take Initiatives

Employers love working candidates who show exuberance and passion for ideas and innovation.
It is a good idea to learn to develop an idea that benefits the company in building awareness or
increasing sales. You need to be confident about the idea and show optimism in implementing
the idea.

Nobody likes to hire a fly on the wall who merely follows the commands of the management.
Organizations favor those candidates who know how to take initiatives at the right time.

________________________________________
10) Ability to Handle Stress

Lastly, and most importantly, your ability to handle stress will ultimately define you as a likable
candidate in an organization.

Do you know that violence in companies is increasing as employees are unable to handle stress
and unneeded pressure that comes along?

It is better to equip yourself with hacks that help you remain calm even under enormous pressure.
An online soft skills training program shall do a good job of teaching you the basics of handling
work-related stress.

________________________________________
The above mentioned are 10 of the most common soft skills aspired by employers worldwide.

Thankfully, we have some amazing soft skills instructors online who offer valuable lessons on soft
skills training. These online courses play a pivotal role in helping candidates succeed in the
corporate world.

https://www.careermetis.com/10-soft-skills-job-readiness/

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SESSION 3 (B)

Teamwork: Cup Stack Activity

An activity on Communication

I stumbled across this idea on Pinterest and thought it would be perfect for my students. I often
hear complaints from students that although others "allow" them to play games at recess, they
often do not "include" them in the game. For example, in football they are on the team but the
ball is never passed to them. I used this as a springboard for discussion on what teamwork
really looks like.

The Cup Stack is a great activity to facilitate teamwork. Some groups are able to complete the
task very quickly while other groups must keep trying and trying to complete the task
successfully. It's hard not to give up when things get frustrating, and this is a valuable lesson for
students to learn in a safe environment. All you need is cups, rubber bands, and string. I decided
to put my students into groups of 6, so I tied 6 equally spaced strings (about 1-2 feet long) around
a single rubber band. Each group was given this device and 6 cups.

The challenge is for the group to build a pyramid out of the paper cups (3 on the bottom, 2 in the
middle, 1 on the top - can be adjusted for more cups). Group members cannot touch the cups
with their hands or any other part of their bodies, even if a cup falls over or on the floor. Each
person holds onto one of the strings that are attached to the rubber band and they use this device
to pick up the cups and place them on top of each other (by pulling the rubber band apart and
then bringing it back together over the cups).

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Some groups took 2 minutes to accomplish their goal, some 10 minutes, and some never
successfully built their tower. I had groups that finished early watch the remaining groups to add
a little "pressure." Afterwards we debriefed with the following discussion questions:
• Was anyone frustrated at all during the activity? If so how was it handled?

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• What did you learn about yourself or others?
• Why was teamwork so important for this activity?
• What is so hard about teamwork?
• What did you do today to contribute to the teamwork on your team?
• What are some skills needed to be good at teamwork?
• Are you ever in a situation where you must use teamwork? Is this always easy for you?
Why or why not?
• How can we use what we learned through this experience in situations outside the game?

Check out Teamwork: Cup Stack Take 2!

Posted by Unknown at 8:13 AM
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Labels: conflict resolution, cooperation, team building

FEEDBACK ACITIVITY

Print out the 20 sentences below and use the criteria for effective feedback below to debrief
after running the activity.

Instructions to participants:

Circle the number of each sentence that you think meets the criteria for helpful feedback (not
necessarily perfect, but OK) For the rest of the questions, see if you can figure out the criterion
that has been actively violated. Put that criterion in front of the sentence. You may find more than
one.

1. "I'm really confused over what you just said about my work".

2. "Now I don't want you to get upset about what I'm going to say, but...."

3. "When you interrupt me like that, it makes me want to stop talking to

you".

4. "It really doesn't matter to me, but a lot of people would really be upset
with what you just did".

5. "You're really overreacting to what I just said".

6. "Your problem is that you just don't like yourself".

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7. "I have some feedback for you and I've got to give it to you for your own
good."

8. "When you continue to talk so softly, even after I've said I have trouble
hearing you, I get frustrated and want to end the conversation".

9. "You've just offended every person in this group".

10. "You appear to be frowning, and I'm confused about what just
happened."

11. "From the way you needle people, you must have a need to get even
with the world".

12. "I could work with you more easily if you had a better sense of humour".

13. "Why do you do things like that?".

14. "Do you understand what I mean when I say you're sending me a double
message?".

15. "Charlie, how does it make you feel when Tom keeps coming late to
meetings?"

16. "I'm going to be open with you, level with you: I think you're a fathead".

17. "I wish you'd stop trying to run things around here".

18. "How do you think it makes me feel when you say things like that?"

19. "That kind of adolescent behaviour won't get you anywhere around
here".

20. "And another thing. I'm sick and tired of you calling me "Honey".

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CRITERIA FOR EFFECTIVE FEEDBACK
Following are 10 criteria for effective feedback. You may not need to concern yourself with all of
them and may find yourself focusing on a cluster of 4 or 5 which are problems for you. Also, there
is a list of opposites - things we do which are not effective.
EFFECTIVE FEEDBACK
1 Describes the behavior which led to the
feedback- 'You are finishing my
sentences for me...'
2 Comes as soon as appropriate after the
behavior - immediately if possible, later
if events make that necessary
(something important going on, you
need time to cool down etc.)
3 Is direct, from sender to receiver
4 Is owned by the sender, who uses 'I'
messages and takes responsibility for
his thoughts, feelings, reactions.
5 Includes the sender’s real feelings
about the behavior, insofar as they are
relevant to the feedback- 'I get
frustrated when I'm trying to make a
point and you keep finishing my
sentences.'
6 Is checked for clarity, to see that the
receiver fully understands what's being
conveyed.
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INEFFECTIVE FEEDBACK
Uses evaluative / judgmental
statements- 'You're being rude'. Or
generalized ones- 'you're trying to
control the conversation.'
Is delayed, saved up, and dumped.
Induces guilt and anger in the receiver,
because after time there is not usually
anything he can do about it.
Indirect, ricocheted- Tom, how do you
feel when Jim cracks his knuckles? -
also known as lets you and him fight
Ownership is transferred to 'people',
'the book', 'upper management', etc.
Feelings are concealed, denied,
misrepresented, distorted. One way to
do this is to 'transfer ownership'.
Another way is to smuggle the feelings
into the interaction by being sarcastic,
sulking, competing to see who's right,
etc.
Not checked. Sender either assumes
clarity or - fairly often- is not interested
in whether receiver understands fully.
 7 Asks relevant questions which seek
information, with the receiver knowing
why the information is sought and
having a clear sense that the sender
does not know the answer.
Asks questions which are really
statements-'Do you think I am going to
let you get away with that?' or which
sound like traps- 'Do you behave that
way at home too?'

8 Specifies consequences of the behavior Provides vague consequences- 'That

- present and/or future- 'If you keep kind of behavior is going to get you
finishing my sentences I won't want to into trouble'. Or specifies no
spend much time talking to you in the consequences- 'you shouldn't do that'.
future'.

9 Is solicited or at least to some extent Is imposed on the receiver, often for

desired by the receiver. his own good.

10 Refers to behaviors about which the Refers to behaviors over which the
receiver can do something, if he wants receiver has little or no control
to.

SESSION 4. PROBLEM SOLVING ATTITUDE

Objective: To be able to help equip the students handle different emotions prevalent in their
future workplace

STRESS MANAGEMENT

While it may seem like there’s nothing you can do about stress at work and home, there are steps
you can take to relieve the pressure and regain control.

Why is it so important to manage stress?

If you’re living with high levels of stress, you’re putting your entire well-being at risk. Stress wreaks
havoc on your emotional equilibrium, as well as your physical health. It narrows your ability to
think clearly, function effectively, and enjoy life. It may seem like there’s nothing you can do about
stress. The bills won’t stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day, and your work and
family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have a lot more control than you might
think.

Effective stress management helps you break the hold stress has on your life, so you can be
happier, healthier, and more productive. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work,

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relationships, relaxation, and fun—and the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet
challenges head on. But stress management is not one-size-fits-all. That’s why it’s important to
experiment and find out what works best for you. The following stress management tips can help
you do that.

Tip 1: Identify the sources of stress in your life

Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. This isn’t as
straightforward as it sounds. While it’s easy to identify major stressors such as changing jobs,
moving, or a going through a divorce, pinpointing the sources of chronic stress can be more
complicated. It’s all too easy to overlook how your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors
contribute to your everyday stress levels. Sure, you may know that you’re constantly worried about
work deadlines, but maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that is
causing the stress.

To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:

•Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right now”) even
though you can’t remember the last time you took a breather?

•Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always crazy
around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy, that’s all”)?

•Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and
unexceptional?

Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level
will remain outside your control.

Start a stress journal

A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with
them. Each time you feel stressed, keep track of it in your journal. As you keep a daily log, you will
begin to see patterns and common themes. Write down:
•What caused your stress (make a guess if you’re unsure)

•How you felt, both physically and emotionally

•How you acted in response

•What you did to make yourself feel better

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Tip 2: Practice the 4 A’s of stress management

While stress is an automatic response from your nervous system, some stressors arise at
predictable times: your commute to work, a meeting with your boss, or family gatherings, for
example. When handling such predictable stressors, you can either change the situation or change
your reaction. When deciding which option to choose in any given scenario, it’s helpful to think
of the four A’s: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.

The four A’s – Avoid, Alter, Adapt & Accept

Avoid unnecessary stress

It’s not healthy to avoid a stressful situation that needs to be addressed, but you may be surprised
by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.

Learn how to say “no.” Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or
professional life, taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress. Distinguish
between the “shoulds” and the “musts” and, when possible, say “no” to taking on too much.

Avoid people who stress you out. If someone consistently causes stress in your life, limit the
amount of time you spend with that person, or end the relationship.

Take control of your environment. If the evening news makes you anxious, turn off the TV. If traffic
makes you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant
chore do your grocery shopping online.

Pare down your to-do list. Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you’ve got
too much on your plate, drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate
them entirely.

Alter the situation

If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Often, this involves changing the way you
communicate and operate in your daily life.

Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, be
more assertive and communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you’ve got an
exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five
minutes to talk. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the stress will increase.

Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the
same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy
middle ground.

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Create a balanced schedule. All work and no play is a recipe for burnout. Try to find a balance
between work and family life, social activities and solitary pursuits, daily responsibilities and
downtime.

Adapt to the stressor

If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain
your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.

Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than
fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite
radio station, or enjoy some alone time.

Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it
will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If
the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.

Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself
up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and
learn to be okay with “good enough.”

Practice gratitude. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things
you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy
can help you keep things in perspective.

Accept the things you can’t change

Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors such as the death
of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with
stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier
than railing against a situation you can’t change.

Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control, particularly the
behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control
such as the way you choose to react to problems.

Look for the upside. When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for
personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and
learn from your mistakes.

Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes.
Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.

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Share your feelings. Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s
nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation. Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment
with a therapist.

Tip 3: Get moving

When you’re stressed, the last thing you probably feel like doing is getting up and exercising. But
physical activity is a huge stress reliever—and you don’t have to be an athlete or spend hours in
a gym to experience the benefits. Exercise releases endorphins that make you feel good, and it
can also serve as a valuable distraction from your daily worries.

While you’ll get the most benefit from regularly exercising for 30 minutes or more, it’s okay to
build up your fitness level gradually. Even very small activities can add up over the course of a
day. The first step is to get yourself up and moving. Here are some easy ways to incorporate
exercise into your daily schedule:

• Put on some music and dance around

• Take your dog for a walk

• Walk or cycle to the grocery store

• Use the stairs at home or work rather than an elevator

• Park your car in the farthest spot in the lot and walk the rest of the way

• Pair up with an exercise partner and encourage each other as you work out

• Play ping-pong or an activity-based video game with your kids

The stress-busting magic of mindful rhythmic exercise

While just about any form of physical activity can help burn away tension and stress, rhythmic
activities are especially effective. Good choices include walking, running, swimming, dancing,
cycling, tai chi, and aerobics. But whatever you choose, make sure it’s something you enjoy so
you’re more likely to stick with it.

While you’re exercising, make a conscious effort to pay attention to your body and the physical
(and sometimes emotional) sensations you experience as you’re moving. Focus on coordinating
your breathing with your movements, for example, or notice how the air or sunlight feels on your
skin. Adding this mindfulness element will help you break out of the cycle of negative thoughts
that often accompanies overwhelming stress.

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Tip 4: Connect to others

There is nothing more calming than spending quality time with another human being who makes
you feel safe and understood. In fact, face-to-face interaction triggers a cascade of hormones that
counteracts the body’s defensive “fight-or-flight” response. It’s nature’s natural stress reliever (as
an added bonus, it also helps stave off depression and anxiety). So make it a point to connect
regularly—and in person—with family and friends.

Keep in mind that the people you talk to don’t have to be able to fix your stress. They simply need
to be good listeners. And try not to let worries about looking weak or being a burden keep you
from opening up. The people who care about you will be flattered by your trust. It will only
strengthen your bond.

Of course, it’s not always realistic to have a pal close by to lean on when you feel overwhelmed
by stress, but by building and maintaining a network of close friends you can improve your
resiliency to life’s stressors.

Tips for building relationships

1. Reach out to a colleague at work

2. Help someone else by volunteering

3. Have lunch or coffee with a friend

4. Ask a loved one to check in with you regularly

5. Accompany someone to the movies or a concert

6. Call or email an old friend

7. Go for a walk with a workout buddy

8. Schedule a weekly dinner date

9. Meet new people by taking a class or joining a club

10.Confide in a clergy member, teacher, or sports coach

Tip 5: Make time for fun and relaxation

Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by
carving out “me” time. Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to
take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. If you regularly make
time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors.

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Set aside leisure time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other
obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge
your batteries.

Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it
be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.

Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps
your body fight stress in a number of ways.

Take up a relaxation practice. Relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep breathing
activate the body’s relaxation response, a state of restfulness that is the opposite of the fight or
flight or mobilization stress response. As you learn and practice these techniques, your stress
levels will decrease and your mind and body will become calm and centered.

Tip 6: Manage your time better

Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and running
behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. Plus, you’ll be tempted to avoid or cut back on all the
healthy things you should be doing to keep stress in check, like socializing and getting enough
sleep. The good news: there are things you can do to achieve a healthier work-life balance.

Don’t over-commit yourself. Avoid scheduling things back-to-back or trying to fit too much into
one day. All too often, we underestimate how long things will take.

Prioritize tasks. Make a list of tasks you have to do, and tackle them in order of importance. Do
the high-priority items first. If you have something particularly unpleasant or stressful to do, get
it over with early. The rest of your day will be more pleasant as a result.

Break projects into small steps. If a large project seems overwhelming, make a step-by-step plan.
Focus on one manageable step at a time, rather than taking on everything at once.

Delegate responsibility. You don’t have to do it all yourself, whether at home, school, or on the
job. If other people can take care of the task, why not let them? Let go of the desire to control or
oversee every little step. You’ll be letting go of unnecessary stress in the process.

Tip 7: Maintain balance with a healthy lifestyle

In addition to regular exercise, there are other healthy lifestyle choices that can increase your
resistance to stress.

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Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful
of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear
with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.

Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary “highs” caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a
crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar
snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed and you’ll sleep better.

Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy
escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal
with problems head on and with a clear mind.

Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase
your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.

Tip 8: Learn to relieve stress in the moment

When you’re frazzled by your morning commute, stuck in a stressful meeting at work, or fried
from another argument with your spouse, you need a way to manage your stress levels right now.
That’s where quick stress relief comes in.

The fastest way to reduce stress is by taking a deep breath and using your senses—what you see,
hear, taste, and touch—or through a soothing movement. By viewing a favorite photo, smelling a
specific scent, listening to a favorite piece of music, tasting a piece of gum, or hugging a pet, for
example, you can quickly relax and focus yourself. Of course, not everyone responds to each
sensory experience in the same way. The key to quick stress relief is to experiment and discover
the unique sensory experiences that work best for you.

Get more help

Authors: Lawrence Robinson, Melinda Smith, M.A., and Robert Segal, M.A. Last updated: October
2019.

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SESSION 5 LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST AS A TEENAGER!

Objective: To highlight essential life skills for the students to be able to manage their lives to the
fullest

21 Essential Life Skills For Teens To Learn

Clinically Reviewed by Michelle Bowyer (MSW)

Written by Sagari Gongala (BSc)
December 2, 2019

Essential Life Skills for Teens to Learn

Life passes by quickly. Before you know it, your little ones will grow up into adults with a life of
their own. And when they do, you would want them to be ready for life. Education gives your
children the knowledge they need about different subjects, but it does not necessarily equip them
with essential life skills.

Mom Junction takes you through the list of a few basic life skills your teenagers should know
before they leave the nest and how parents can help children acquire these skills.

Essential Life Skills for Teens

Life is full of surprises, both pleasant and unpleasant. To make your child ready to face anything
in life, you should help them acquire these basic life skills as a youth.

1. Money or Budgeting Skills

Money may not be the most important thing in life, but it certainly is vital for a comfortable life.
That is why financial discipline is an important skill to learn as a teenager.

Budgeting skills help teenagers learn the value of money, conscious spending, as well as planning
for the future.

The important financial concepts that you can help them learn to include:

Make a budget and stick to it. Your children should know when to spend and when to save.

Every teen must know how to open a bank account, use the ATM, transfer money online, and write
a check.

Apply for a credit card, how to use it, and how not to get into debt using a credit card. The most
important lesson your child should learn here is how credit works and how quickly they can get
sucked into a whirlpool of debt if they are not careful.

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Save money to buy or invest in something for emergencies.

Give money to charity without going overboard.

Maintain financial records.

Assess the basic market value of goods.

2. Cooking or Food Skills

Knowing how to procure food or cook food is one of the primary life skills for teenagers. Teach
them the below basic food skills so that they can survive in any part of the world.

Buying groceries is essential to cook. One of the important skills here is to be able to identify
different ingredients and know where they are available.

Using kitchen appliances like microwave, coffee maker, dishwasher, and toaster, among others.

Knowledge about utensils, cutlery, and how to use them.

Being able to prepare a healthy meal with the ingredients available. Teach your teen the basics of
cooking a decent meal using simple ingredients.

Storing food in the right way. You want your children to know where and how to store different
food products like fresh produce, packaged food, and liquids.

Besides knowing about the importance of having nutrient-rich food every day, they should also
be able to read food labels for nutrition and ingredient information.

They should be aware of the health hazards of eating too much junk food.

3. Dress Sense or Clothing Skills

Your teenagers might change their style completely owing to external influences, but the chances
are they may get influenced by the wrong people. So, here is how they get one of the everyday
skills right.

Picking the right-sized clothes, a decent outfit.

Choosing the right kind of clothes for the right occasion.

Sewing is a skill both men and women can benefit from.

Iron a shirt, trousers or suit. What is more important is to distinguish between clothes that need
ironing and those that don’t (we don’t want them ironing their jeans now, do we?).

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Do the laundry. Teach your teen to wash clothes by hand or using a washing machine and to deal
with simple stains.

Fold clothes and put them neatly in their cupboard. You do not want a messy closet when they
are at home or away.

Pack a suitcase.

Read and understand fabric labels.

Gently tell your teen what their clothes say about them and the level of respect they would get in
certain situations such as interviews or among the opposite sex.

4. Personal Grooming

Grooming is a skill that children need to learn early on. Personal grooming is important to stay
healthy and also have a good social or romantic life.

Teach them healthy habits like brushing and bathing daily.

Explain the importance of keeping their bodies clean. They must know how to care for their skin
and hair.

Boys should know how to shave or maintain facial hair in a hygienic way.

Teach girls to stay clean during their periods, proper disposal of sanitary pads, etc.

5. Cleanliness and Hygiene

Cleanliness is one of the tenets of hygiene. Teach your children to keep themselves as well as their
surroundings clean and tidy. This is part of their grooming and home management skills. Some
of the basic things that your teen could do include:

Dusting and vacuuming.

Mopping floors and getting rid of cobwebs.
Keeping bathrooms and toilets clean.
Keeping the kitchen clean.
Clearing garbage regularly.
Eliminating clutter from time to time.
Knowing how to clean dishes by hand, not all homes come with a dishwasher.

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6. Personal Healthcare and Basic First Aid

Among the critical things that teens should learn, as part of taking care of themselves, is to take
care of their health. Important points to remember here are:

Knowledge of personal health and over-the-counter medications that can come in handy.

Knowing when to go to the doctor.

Taking proper care of self, through proper diet and environment, in the case of illnesses like
common colds, fever, or the flu.

Health insurance and how it can help them. Teach your teenager to keep track of health insurance
payments to ensure they get aid when needed.

Handle medical emergencies, like calling 911 or the emergency number in your country.

Get your teen to learn basic first aid skills like how to clean a wound, use bandages, and other first
aid in case of medical emergencies, which may enable him to save a life, should such a situation
arise in the future.

The best way to teach your child about these everyday living skills is to help them take care of
themselves when they are at home. Avoid doing everything for them.

7. Social Skills and Manners

Teaching your child skills and manners that they would display in a social setting is essential for
them to have a smooth social life.

A few social skills that might help them include:

Exploring and pursuing hobbies, recreational interests and activities to meet like-minded people.
Learning how to develop and maintain friendships.
Valuing relationships and people in their lives.
Teach them how to maintain healthy family relationships.
Learning party etiquette, including how to be host and guest.
Respecting people and their views, regardless of what they think about others.

8. Organization skills

Lack of organization is one of the factors that lead to poor time management. A poorly organized
person is almost always searching for something. Sounds familiar?

Here is how you might help your teenager stay better organized.

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Teach them the simple rule of Kaizen – a place for everything and everything in its place. Help
them implement this rule, and they will not have to ‘search’ for something the next time.

You can help them use an organization tool or system to arrange their books, clothes, and other
things.

Organization also helps declutter a room and makes it easier to find something in less time.

Explain to them that they can avoid making blunders when they are more organized.

9. Domestic Skills – Managing A Home

Imagine your pampered little child finally finishes college and starts a life of their own. But they
might hate every moment of it if they do not know the basic home management skills. It is better
if all teenagers learn these life skills early on.

Teach them how to find the right accommodation or housing options.

Manage utilities, pay bills.

Basic maintenance of the house. Teach them to vacuum, dust, and clean the house.

Simple things like fixing a broken circuit, locating a water furnace and turning it off or on, and
addressing the basic plumbing issues might help them to manage their house better.

10. Driving and Auto Maintenance Skills

Driving is one of the most important life skills for teenagers to be self-dependent. But knowing
how to drive a car is not enough. Your teenager should also know about road safety, auto care,
and what to do when there is vehicle trouble. Teach them to:

Buy a car and insurance.

Registration of the vehicle.
Have important vehicle records and documents like driver’s license, registration papers, etc. while
driving.
Pump gas and change oil for maintenance.
Change a tire using different tools.
Know and follow traffic rules for the safety of self and others.
Teach them the importance of wearing a helmet and a seat belt.
Also, make sure they are aware of the dangers of speeding and rash driving.

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11. Navigational Skills

Basic navigational skills are more important so that even if they do not have a car, they will be
able to travel from one place to another. Some things they could learn include:

Being able to read bus, train or flight schedules, and timetables.

Read maps to go from point A to point B.
Understand directions – north, south, east, and west; left, right.
Know traffic and road terms like curves, exits, freeways, highways, etc.
Be aware of information about the different transport options to reach different places.

12. Communication Skills

Communication may seem more like a business skill. But think about it, won’t your teenager need
to communicate in his personal life? Teaching your teen how to get his or her message across
without offending another person is important. Communication is a critical skill that your teenager
will need to master for interpersonal relationships in personal and professional lives.

Try Talking to your teen about these important skills when it comes to communication.
People are different, and all don’t speak the same language.
There is a need to understand the individual’s temperament before determining how to
communicate with them.
Nobody likes being told what to do. Even your teenager does not appreciate that.
Explain to them the importance of listening skills in communication.
Empathy and the importance of understanding another person’s perspective are necessary.
Negotiation skills to create win-win situations.
Different forms of communication, like writing, talking, and non-verbal behavior.
Using different modes of communication like a telephone, letters or email, etc.

13. Behavioral Skills

The character of an individual shows in the way they behave. Help your teenager build a strong
personality by helping them develop healthy behavior. Here are a few basic things you could
consider teaching them.

Accepting a mistake, admitting a mistake, and taking responsibility for their actions are perhaps
the first things you can teach your teen.

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Most teenagers have a problem apologizing. Teach them to say ‘sorry’ and not feel embarrassed
about it.

Teach them to be polite and say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when needed.

Morality is a concept that you should introduce to your teenagers early on. That teaches them to
stand up for what they believe is right, conscientiousness, and a sense of responsibility for the less
fortunate.

Teach them to stay true to themselves and others. This can be done by making them explore the
values that are most important to them. Honesty is a trait that teenagers should be encouraged
to develop.

Teach them to ask for help when needed. It is important to be self-reliant, but there are times
when we all need help. Explain to them that it is ‘okay’ to ask for help.

The only way to help your teenager learn about moral behavior, honesty, and character is through
practice. Parents should guide children through their growing years to inculcate healthy
behavioral traits.

14. Skills to Stay Safe

When your teenage children are out in the world all by themselves, it is important to know how
to stay safe. In fact, staying safe is one of the most important life skills for teenagers. Here are a
few pointers that might help your teen to stay safe on the physical plane as well as the virtual
plane (online).

Stay safe on the road when alone. Teach your teen to use their common sense and avoid secluded
parking lots, deserted roads, and empty plots away from civilization.

Teach your teens what to do if they get a flat tire in the middle of the highway or the car breaks
down at night on a deserted road. Encourage them to call for help and avoid venturing on their
own at night.

Avoid traveling with strangers or picking up hitchhikers when traveling alone.

Ask your teen to get a ride at night always or have someone meet them on the way.

Keeping someone posted about their whereabouts is a good idea.

Carry extra cash just in case they need to take a taxi.

15. Coping with Emotions

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Teaching teens to cope with emotions will allow them to see both sides of a situation. Coping and
self-management skills that you could teach your teenagers are mentioned next.

Self-management or control, this allows them to set the pace to how they react to different
situations, people, and things in life.

Teens will have to cope with loneliness and being away from their loved ones when they go to
college. It can be a difficult time for them if they do not learn how to deal with the change.

Avoiding impulsive decisions that can have severe consequences, mostly negative.

Managing feelings in a healthy way. Teach your teen to think and act rather than react. Reactions
can result in negative consequences, but thoughtful action seldom does.

As an adult, your teen will have to deal with stress at work, home, in personal relationships, and
so on. Coping with stress is an important skill you should help your teen acquire.

A critical skill that you should help your teenager with is accepting their emotions. Tell them that
no emotion is bad or good, and it is okay to feel happy, sad, afraid, angry, aroused, silly, jealous,
and even guilty. The trick is not to dwell on a particular emotion.

Teach them different ways to deal with their emotions, such as physical activity, meditation,
listening to music, or just by talking about it.

Spirituality can also help in coping with major changes in life.

Remember, teenage brains are going through a major change. Therefore, empathize with them
where possible and understand that they are still learning to manage emotions and stay calm.

16. Problem-solving Skills

Among the main life skills for youth is problem-solving. You cannot expect your children to come
back to you for help every time they have a problem. What you could do is teach them to deal
with problems like mature adults.

Teach your children to face problems rather than run away from them.

When your teen comes to you asking for advice, try not to jump in and resolve the problem for
them. Ask them what they think they should do and help them work through possible options.
This will help break the habit of coming to you.

The first step to problem-solving is identifying the problem. The key is to find out exactly what is
bothering them and why it is a problem. Help them narrow down their problem by asking a simple
question: “Is my current situation different from how I would want it to be?”

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Once they pinpoint the problem, help them come up with a list of possible solutions to it.

Analyze each solution to know which option gives you the desired result, or something close to
it.

Once they shortlist the options, your children will have to use their decision-making skills to pick
an option they think is best for them.

Then they can apply the chosen solution and check if they are right.

17. Basic Educational Skills

Education is essential for living a comfortable and healthy life. There is no dispute about it. Your
children would have learned to read, write, and speak at home. But they might also need to know
how to use a computer, a phone, and other gadgets.

Usually, children tend to understand digital technology faster than their parents. But they may not
understand all things analog. Also, the use of smartphones and instant messaging has also
changed the way they use their language skills. You might encourage your children to:

Write in complete sentences. They cannot use shortcuts and slang when they write their papers
in college or send business emails.

Read to understand, not just skim through the text.

Write letters, maintain a journal, or just make notes to improve their language and communication
skills.

To stay safe online, remember these tips:

Use passwords that aren’t easy to guess.

When browsing online, it is safe to use a VPN to protect personal information.

Avoid accessing banking accounts using public networks.

Avoid talking to strangers or sharing personal information and photos with them.

Alert you if someone makes sexual overtures online.

18. Goal Setting – Knowing how to prioritize

Teach your children to identify their skills and set goals that can give them personal gratification
as well as professional success. You could teach them to:

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Figure out what they want to do and where they want to be in a few years’ time. Help them gain
clarity.

Set realistic goals, or else they will end up disappointed sooner than later.

Focus on their goals and chalk out a plan to achieve them in a realistic manner.

Identify resources that can help them achieve their goals.

Change goals or modify them if needed. Goals can be changed or adjusted to suit the changing
needs of a person. Your teenager may also change, as an individual, which can lead to changes in
their personal or professional goals.

Eventually, you can guide your teenager to a position where she or he can set bigger goals, paving
the way for a more meaningful and purposeful life.

19. Time Management

How often have you heard your teenager complain about not having enough time to do all that
they want to? We all have 24 hours in a day. How we manage it makes a world of difference in
what we achieve. Essential skills that your teen might need for better time management include:

Start by modeling good time management habits. If you are always wishing for ‘more time’ and
doing things in a hurry, chances are your children will learn to do that too.

Teach them to organize their time using a simple timetable or a planner.

Let them create a schedule and stick to it. Even the slightest deviation from the plan can leave
them crunched for time.

Teach your children to prioritize their tasks to use their time responsibly. Help them identify
important tasks and differentiate between what is important and what is urgent.

Developing a routine makes it easier to manage time.

Encourage them through model behavior, but do not nag them about wasting time.

20. Decision-making Skills

Your teenager will have to make decisions, make a choice at every step of their adult life. From
something as simple as what to eat for dinner to making a significant career move or marrying a
person they love, everything is a decision.

The first step to teaching your teenager to decide is to stop making decisions for them. However,
you should not leave any major, life-changing decisions in the hands of an adolescent.

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Rather than telling them to do something, give them choices. Let them choose.

Also, emphasize that every choice they make comes with a consequence. That way, they will learn
to take responsibility for their decisions.

Help them make the right choices by weighing the pros and cons and determining what the
outcome of their decision would be.

You could also teach them to make a list of options first and then evaluate each to make the right
decisions.

21. Employability Skills

To be employable or be noticed by potential employers, a person needs to have more than just
credentials on the wall. Here are a few skills you may encourage your teenager to develop for
better career opportunities.

Communication skills.
Thinking and analytical skills.
Work ethics and integrity.
Ability to value and use the available resources.
Knowledge and application of technology.
Adaptability to adjust to new work environments and coworkers from diverse backgrounds.
Willingness and ability to learn new skills. Teach your child to be open-minded.
Ability to evaluate their own skills and identify weaknesses.
Willingness to rectify faults to deliver better.

These are only a few among the list of life skills for teenagers they need to learn before beginning
the journey as an adult. The key to a happy life is to sustain two key skills – the willingness and
ability to learn new things, unlearn skills that are not useful and relearn them with a new
perspective. Agreed that teaching life skills to teenagers is not easy, but if you can do that, you
will have done justice to your job as a parent.

https://www.momjunction.com/articles/everyday-life-skills-your-teen-should-
learn_0081859/#gref

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