4/10/2021 Celebrate...

While You still can - The Chronicle

OPINION

Celebrate... While You still can

By Patrick Rutter
October 22, 2015 | 10:12pm PDT

I wasn't a morning person back then. I took too long in the shower thinking about my job interview the next day, and I got
out to a waiting Drew Everson who naturally chastised me for being too focused on my appearance. Instinctively, I
responded by making fun of him for using John Frieda Sheer Blonde shampoo. He laughed and told me that I'd kill my
interview. I said thanks, and that was that.

This was the last interaction I ever had with my best friend.

My name is Patrick Rutter, and I lost Drew Everson, my best friend and roommate, ve years ago today at Duke
University. Five years. I ended up getting that job, and I never had the chance to tell him, even though I feel like I owe him
a thank you due to his help preparing me for it. The passage of time is hard to comprehend but the stark reality of it is
impossible to ignore today. Since his death, his friends and I have graduated, moved to new cities, moved away from
those cities, had relationships, broken them o , gotten engaged, gotten married (one earlier this month!), switched jobs,
pursued dreams, made new friends and re-membered. I use a hyphen between "re" and "membered" is a nod to the Rev.
Dr. Sam Well's sermon at Drew's Memorial Service, who told us all that day that even though Drew had burst out of life,
we could and should "re-member."

I consider myself extremely lucky because I had the privilege of living and interacting with Drew at Duke, and I recognize
that none of you undergrads reading this ever had that privilege. And my, oh my, what a privilege it was. "Viking Guy" was
perpetually wearing a smile along with a ridiculous play-doh keychain that always hung from his designer jeans, and he
was more than happy to greet friend and stranger alike with a hearty greeting and a slap on the back. His smile, and
goo ness, was infectious; he was a part of the Inside Joke comedy group where he o ered up new takes on the hip songs
of the time, such as an "I'm on a Broom" Harry Potter parody of "I'm on a Boat" and showcased his truly awful singing
ability when he ruined my favorite Usher song (in a parody inexplicably about $5 foot-longs). In the original Chronicle
remembrance I wrote in 2010, I mentioned that due to the decibel count and recurring nature of his laugh I believed I
would become hard of hearing in the coming years. However, it's the silence of the last ve years that haunts me more
than any impact on my hearing. While Drew certainly was one of a kind, I think all of us at one point in our lives have
known someone like Drew, someone so overtly positive and so full of life that it is a cool slap to the face, indeed, an
a ront, that he is no longer with us.

Over the past ve years, many of our friends adapted a line from his last Chronicle op-ed (which I encourage you all to
read) in his remembrance—"whatever you do, don't ever, ever take life too seriously." It is a simple yet e ective line that
conveys the essence of Drew's philosophy on life—it represents someone so bursting of life that no one thing would ever,
or could ever, bring him down. After all, isn't life more than just DSG, Duke Debate, Psy11 or cheerleading? Drew never
took life too seriously (he used John Frieda Sheer Blonde Shampoo for crying out loud!). So why should we? Those who
knew Drew appreciated his refreshing view on life, and many of us took it to heart. Or to the hair, as today also marks the
fth anniversary of my daily use of John Frieda Sheer Blonde Shampoo (which, thanks to Drew, I now just publicly
admitted for the rst time). However, it's beyond the shampoo; it's the thought of sharing something in common with
someone we love. I have learned in the past ve years that what de nes us is the relationships that we build and that we
are only as good as the companions we choose to lift us up when we are down and to celebrate with us when we
succeed.

After ve years of re ection, and all of the subsequent sadness and happiness, love and heartbreak, successes and
failures since then, I'd like to add one more line to our favorite Drew-ism: "Don't you ever, ever take life too seriously and
don't you dare ever, ever take it for granted." Indeed, one of Drew's favorite quotes in his last Chronicle op-ed hints at
this; Drew cited the New Yorker Magazine writer Brendan Gill who stated in 1975 that "not a shred of evidence exists in
favor of the argument that life is serious." What a cold irony that Drew left out the next part of Gill's sentence, which read
"though it is often hard and even terrible." Because it can be — but Drew's spirit is telling us EXACTLY what we need to do
to live our lives with the glass half full and be able to drink it too.

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4/10/2021 Celebrate... While You still can - The Chronicle

So what can we learn from Drew? How can we "re-member"? And how can you, a member of the Duke community
reading this who may have never heard of Drew before ve minutes ago, come away from this column any better than
when you rst picked it up? It's quite easy; nd your own Sheer Blonde to share with a loved one. What it is frankly
doesn't matter—it can be sharing in a love for Duke Volleyball, Chipotle, WoW, Bud Light(s), books, co ee, instagramming
yellow bugs — anything. Because when time's up, it's up. And sometimes it isn't at graduation—Drew and I never got
there. Life's darker side can encroach even in the best and most carefree years of life—college. So cherish what makes
you di erent (or similar) by cherishing it with someone special. After ve years, I believe I've found my voice to say that
when a community, especially one that you actively contribute to, can galvanize itself around any one activity or shared
passion, it can be what saves you... and everyone else.

In loving memory,

Pat Rutter

Trinity '11

P.S. Today is Mole Day for chemists, Chulalongkorn Day in Thailand, the Day of the Macedonian Revolutionary Struggle in
Macedonia and Drew Day for us. Join me in celebration.

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