Marriage: Role of husbands and wives

https://bible.org/seriespage/lesson-3-what-do-you-mean-submit-ephesians-521-24

NOTICE: There will inevitably be questions which an unmarried person will be unable to answer
about marriage! Paul, who was unmarried, described marriage as a 'mystery' (Ephesians 5:32).
The Greek word interpreted as 'mystery' here is referring to something that remains a secret until
one is initiated into it. I am unmarried; therefore, marriage is still a mystery to me!!!

Ephesians 5:21 – In Ephesians 5, immediately before Paul gives specific instructions to husbands
and wives, children and parents and slaves and masters, Paul's instruction to ALL believers is to
'submit to one another out of reverence for Christ' (Ephesians 5:21). So
this idea of submission characterises ALL relationships with others, not just a wife towards her
husband.

Ephesians 5:23-30 – Paul's instruction to husbands are that they are to love their wives 'just as
Christ loved the church' because Christ 'gave up his life for her [the church] to make her holy and
clean washed by the cleansing of God's word' (Ephesians 5:25). Husbands are also to love their
wives 'as they love their own bodies' (Ephesians 5:29). So it is clear that the commands to
husbands are very great - they have to:

1) love their wives as much as Christ loved the entire church;

2) give up their lives for their wives (personally I think giving up one's entire life for another is
a more onerous and selfless requirement than submission to another); and
3) love their wives as they love their own bodies.

A woman on the other hand is to:

1) submit to her husband 'as to the Lord' (Ephesians 5:22). Wives should submit to
their husbands the same way that the church submits to Christ in everything (see
Ephesians 5:24); and
2) Respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33).

So both husbands and wives are required to give themselves up and put the other spouse's needs
first. This is part of what a Christian marriage is about and it produces unity between the husband
and wife ('two united into one' just as 'Christ and the church are one' – see Ephesians 5 v 31-32
and Genesis 2:24 – see also Revelation 19:7-9 for an example of the church being depicted as the
bride of Christ - there are repeated references to this in the last book in the Bible).

The process of mutual submission / serving each other helps both husbands and wives to be
united as one and become more like Christ.

Christ is the one who demonstrated submission in its true form – whether married or unmarried, we
all need to have the 'mindset' of Christ in all our relationships / dealings with each other (see
Phillipians 2:1-11 pasted below). Inevitably this involves submission because, in order to have a
harmonious relationships with others, the individuals in the relationship will sometimes have to give
up what he / she wants and submit to what the other person wants. This is all most apparent in a
marriage situation.

• Phillipians 2:1-11:

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort
from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,
2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in
spirit and of one mind.

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others
above yourselves,

4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

6 Who, being in very nature[a] God,

did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;

7 rather, he made himself nothing

by taking the very nature[b] of a servant,

being made in human likeness.

8 And being found in appearance as a man,

he humbled himself

by becoming obedient to death—

even death on a cross!

9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place

and gave him the name that is above every name,

10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,

in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father.