Descriptive Writing Faishal Amrullah Effendi

Describing Place A / 2041038

The Galaxy-Themed Bedroom

I spend a lot of my time studying and sleeping in my bedroom. I want to make my

space more exciting because I can focus more on learning and enjoying my own time. The

key to realizing it all lies in my galaxy-themed bedroom. It gives the atmosphere of outer

space that will make my bedroom more alive and colorful.

When you enter the white door, the first thing you feel is a dense gray fur carpet, and

you will see half of the light blue wall and underneath, there are three columns of different

wall colors such as blue, yellow, and red. When you are in front of the door, you will see

five-planet decorations hanging on the roof of the room. The top of the room is covered with

blue galaxy-themed wallpapers surrounded by stickers of stars around the entire roof, and the

sun stickers right on the light. It will give the atmosphere of a wide-ranging impression.

Under the roof is a comfortable bed and pillows covered with galaxy-themed sheets;

above the mattress is back, there is a photo of an astronaut. Beside the bed, on the left side, is

a wooden closet with three small bulkhead lines and three large underneath, and there are

several books and lighting aids above the cabinet. On the closet is upper back wall, there are

four hand-painted frames with the abstract-themed. To sum up, My bedroom will be alive

when my favourite for the galaxy can be connected.

Word Count : 248

Descriptive Writing Faishal Amrullah Effendi
Describing Place A / 2041038

DESCRIPTIVE WRITING RUBRIC

Advanced—4 Proficient—3 Needs Improvement—2 Not Yet—1
Idea Length of paper is Too much or not enough Too much or too Paper is too long/short, has
Development appropriate. elaboration in some part simplistic writing no focus because of
Ideas flow smoothly making paper seem overwriting and or no
from one to the next. choppy elaboration
Organization Paper has excellent Paper has structure and Paper has some Lack of structure, interfering
structure and is well organization but lacks structure evident but is with reader’s ability to
organized unity because of hard to follow or is not understand piece
confusing details well organized
Word Choice Paper uses rich and Paper uses good word Paper has simplistic Paper has too simplistic
sophisticated word choice and some varied word choice and at times word choice and is far too
choice and varied wording repetitive repetitive
language throughout
Sensory Details Paper is rich in sensory Paper has some sensory Paper has too few/many Paper is lacking in sensory
details creating a vivid details but there may be sensory details causing details and tells rather than
picture too few or not enough reader to lose interest shows
details
Closing The final sentences The ending is good but The ending is too simple There is no real ending
clinch the piece well does not fully clinch the —it doesn’t fit the flow leaving the reader
leaving the reader paper, leaving the reader leaving the reader unsatisfied
completely satisfied wanting more confused
Sentence Paper is well written Papers has a few Paper has many Paper is difficult to read
Structure using a variety of sentence errors and/or is fragments and is because of too simplistic
simple and complex lacking in variety or beginning to be difficult sentence structure and/or
sentence structures complexity to understand many fragments
Paragraph Strong paragraph Paragraphs are generally Paragraphs are only Paragraph placement is
Placement placement throughout appropriate throughout somewhat evident almost entirely or lacking all
paper though at times are too throughout paper together
long and/or short
Spelling, Paper is proofread well Paper has between 3 to Paper has between 6 to Paper has more than 9
punctuation, with only 1 or 2 errors 5 errors 8 errors as proofreading errors and shows little to no
grammar, and was not done well evidence of proofreading
capitalization
Verb Tense Verb tense remains Verb tense is mainly Verb tenses are Verb tenses are so
consistent throughout consistent inconsistent affecting inconsistent, paper is
reader’s understanding difficult to understand
of paper

Comments:
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Total score: ( _______ /36) x 100 =

Word Count : 248