1

00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:07,339

Worst Renaissance fair ever.

2
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,300
Please let it go, Sheldon.

3
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:13,512
SHELDON:
It was rife with historical inaccuracies.

4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,181
For example, the tavern girl
serving flagons of mead.

5
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:18,642
Now, her costume
was obviously Germanic...

6
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:23,022
...but in 1487, the Bavarian purity laws,
or Reinheitsgebot...

7
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,607
...severely limited the availability
of mead.

8
00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:27,776
At best,
they would've had some spiced wine.

9
00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:30,529
LEONARD: You're nitpicking.
SHELDON: Oh, really?

10
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,239
Well, here's another nit for you.

11
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:35,534
The flagons would not have been made
of polypropylene.

12
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,746
Renaissance fairs
aren't about historical accuracy.

13
00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:41,498
They're about taking chubby girls
who work at Kinko's...

14
00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:43,667
...and lacing them up
in corsets so tight...

15
00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:46,795
...their bosom jumps out
and says, "Howdy."

16
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:50,215
Bosoms would not have said, "Howdy,"
in the 15th century.

17
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,634
If anything,
they would've said, "Huzzah."

18
00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:54,803
I don't care what the bosoms say,
Sheldon.

19
00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:57,723
I just wanna be part of the conversation.

20
00:00:58,475 --> 00:00:59,641
Hi, guys.

21
00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:01,935
Looks like you've been
to the Renaissance fair.

22
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,063
I'm hoping.

23
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,272
Renaissance fair?

24
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,691
More of a medieval-slash-
Age of Enlightenment...

25
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:11,070
...slash-
any-excuse-to-wear-a-codpiece fair.
26
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:14,239
Okay, fine, whatever.
Um, you guys, this is my friend Eric.

27
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,533
- Hello.
ERIC: Hey.

28
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,955
So, yeah, good to see you.

29
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,666
Yeah. Yeah, it's good to see you too.

30
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,711
- We should probably go.
- Yeah.

31
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:31,131
- Bye, guys.
- Like your hat.

32
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:34,676
Thanks, my mom made it.

33
00:01:36,679 --> 00:01:40,015
Penny with a new guy. Très awkward.

34
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:43,185
It wasn't awkward.

35
00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:47,189
It wasn't fun.
Besides, what's the big deal?

36
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:50,776
We dated, we stopped dating,
and now we're both moving on.

37
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,612
By "moving on," you mean
she's going out with other men...

38
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:57,908
...and you spend the afternoon
making 15th-century soap with Wolowitz?
39
00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,035
That was not 15th-century soap.

40
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:03,247
My god, those people need to learn
you can't just put "ye olde"...

41
00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:06,375
...in front of anything you want
and expect to get away with it.

42
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:10,129
Can we please just go in?
My chain mail's stuck in my underwear.

43
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,549
You're wearing modern underwear?

44
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,301
Relatively modern.

45
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:18,554
What are you wearing?

46
00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:22,683
I fashioned historically accurate
undergarments out of linen.

47
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,184
You went and bought linen?

48
00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:27,563
Don't be silly.
I borrowed one of your pillowcases.

49
00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,067
Borrowed?

50
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:58,260
You know,
I'm happy that Penny's moving on.

51
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,262
It gives me freedom to move on myself.
52
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:03,599
Are you saying
that you've been holding back?

53
00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:06,977
Of course. Out of respect.

54
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:11,273
So how do you explain
the 10 years before Penny?

55
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,318
Who were you respecting then?

56
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:17,070
What? I've dated plenty of women.

57
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:21,450
There was, uh, Joyce Kim,
Leslie Winkle...

58
00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:25,412
Notify the editors
of the Oxford English Dictionary:

59
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,624
The word "plenty"
has been redefined to mean "two."

60
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,878
What about that girl last year
at Comic-Con?

61
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,713
- It doesn't count.
- Why not?

62
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:38,634
What happens in costume at Comic-Con
stays at Comic-Con.

63
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:41,220
You're only saying that
because of what happened.

64
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,847
- What happened to you?
- Nothing happened to me.

65
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,474
It wasn't your fault, Raj.

66
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,894
He was dressed
as a green Orion slave girl.

67
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,981
How did we get on me?
We were mocking Leonard.

68
00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:56,443
- Dude, you have totally not moved on.
- Yes, I have.

69
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:59,863
It's just a matter
of actually making a date with someone.

70
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:03,742
- Like who?
- Well, there's Joyce Kim.

71
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,329
But she defected back to North Korea...

72
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,415
...so it's a little
geographically undesirable.

73
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:14,086
- What about Leslie Winkle?
- Oh, no.

74
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,672
- Why?
- Her research methodology is sloppy...

75
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,675
...she's unjustifiably arrogant
about loop quantum gravity...

76
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:23,053
...and to make matters worse,
she's often mean to me.

77
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:26,181
- I think she's smoking hot.
- I'd hit that.

78
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:31,061
You'd hit particulate soil
in a colloidal suspension.

79
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:33,397
Mud.

80
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,609
Look, I like Leslie,
but she's not interested in dating...

81
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:40,362
...as much as using men as tools
for stress release.

82
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,031
Yeah? So? Be a tool.

83
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:47,369
Go get yourself
a little rebound stress release.

84
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:51,373
It would only be rebound if he and Penny
had actually engaged in physical intimacy.

85
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,710
You mean like you
and Richard the slave girl?

86
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:59,548
I bought him dinner and we kissed once.
That was it.

87
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,676
And he told me his name was Kimberly.

88
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:10,600
You know how I know
we're not in the Matrix?
89
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:15,397
How?

90
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:19,151
If we were, the food would be better.

91
00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:21,403
Hey, Leonard.

92
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:24,323
- Hey, Leslie.
- Hey, dummy.

93
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:28,744
Hello to you,
insufficiently intelligent person.

94
00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:31,997
Ooh, rush me to the Burn Unit.

95
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,918
Do you have a second?
I need to ask you something.

96
00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:39,463
- Yeah, sure.
- Well, if you'll excuse me...

97
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:43,091
...I'm going to go do work
that promises significant results...

98
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:47,387
...as opposed to what you do,
which does not.

99
00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:50,307
Yeah, you heard me.

100
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,487
Wow.

101
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,449
So I heard your relationship with Penny
crashed to the ground...
102
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,452
...like blue ice
falling out of an airplane lavatory.

103
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:15,874
- Where'd you hear that?
- Actually, I read it. Wolowitz texted me.

104
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:20,128
"Like blue ice
falling out of an airplane lavatory," yep.

105
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:23,882
Yeah, I thought it was a pretty good one.
I gave him an "LOL."

106
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,509
Anyway, it got me thinking.

107
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:29,638
Now that you're unattached, maybe
we can revisit our previous attachment.

108
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:33,225
Are you suggesting another bout
of stress release?

109
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,935
No, I'm all done with casual sex.

110
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,979
I'm fully committed
to the traditional relationship paradigm.

111
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,147
Really? What changed?

112
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:41,650
There's just a time
in every woman's life...

113
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,111
...when she gets tired of waking up
on a futon...

114
00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:46,530
...with a bunch of people
she doesn't know.

115
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:50,826
Yeah, I can see how that would...
A bunch of people?

116
00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:53,495
Anyway, I just figure
it's time to slow things down...

117
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,706
...and who better to slow things down with
than you?

118
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,334
I'm flattered.

119
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,338
So how do you suggest we proceed?

120
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:07,008
Your place. We'll order Chinese.
You'll rent a movie, artsy but accessible.

121
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:09,177
Then light petting, no coitus.

122
00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:13,723
- Sounds fun.
- I'll leave the details up to you.

123
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:17,018
I think it's better
if you assume the male role.

124
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,689
Thank you, that's very thoughtful.

125
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,858
Great.

126
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,693
Call me.

127
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:34,077
Hey, great news.
My mom sent me my old Nintendo 64.

128
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,454
LEONARD:
Oh.

129
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,166
- Terrific.
- You know what this means, don't you?

130
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:43,545
Break out the Red Bull.
It's time to rock "Mario" old school.

131
00:07:44,922 --> 00:07:47,382
- I kind of have other plans tonight.
- But it's Friday.

132
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:51,261
Friday's always vintage-game night.
Look, Mom included the memory card.

133
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:55,891
We can pick up right where I left off
in 1999 when I had pernicious anemia.

134
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,059
The thing is, someone's coming over.

135
00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:01,521
Well, no problem. I have three controllers.
The more the merrier.

136
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:04,316
Sheldon, it's a date.
I have a date coming over.

137
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,692
Oh.

138
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:09,404
Well, you can't blame me
for not jumping to that conclusion.

139
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,909
Why? What's so unusual
about me having a date?

140
00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:16,703
- Well, statistically speaking...
- All right, all right.

141
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:18,330
Nevertheless, I have one now...

142
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,917
...and I'd appreciate it if you would,
you know, make yourself scarce.

143
00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:24,878
I am a published theoretical physicist
with two doctorates...

144
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,464
...and an IQ which can't be measured
by normal tests.

145
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,925
How much scarcer could I be?

146
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:34,304
You know what I mean.
Could you just give us a little privacy?

147
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,806
- You want me to leave the apartment?
- Yes.

148
00:08:36,974 --> 00:08:39,392
You mean just go someplace else
and be...

149
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,102
...someplace else?

150
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:43,063
- Yes.
- But why should I leave?

151
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,273
- This is my apartment too.
- I know it is.
152
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:48,235
If science ever discovers a second member
of your species...

153
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:52,280
...and you two would like some privacy,
I'd be happy to get out of your way.

154
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,451
Well, all right, then.

155
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:02,874
Sheldon? What are you doing?

156
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:08,505
Playing "Super Mario"
on a poorly coded Nintendo 64 emulator.

157
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,799
But why are you doing it on the stairs?

158
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:14,636
I am a modern-day Napoleon
exiled to the Elba of the staircase...

159
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,889
...because Leonard, get this, has a date.

160
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:21,893
Oh. Oh, well, good for him.

161
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:25,772
Yeah, but why are you sitting here?
Why don't you go to a movie or something?

162
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,649
Alone?

163
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,235
- Yeah, why not?
- What if I choke on my popcorn?

164
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,737
Who will administer
the Heimlich maneuver?
165
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:35,824
- Then don't order popcorn.
- No popcorn at the mov...?

166
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,075
Listen to yourself.

167
00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:41,413
- Why don't you go to a coffee shop?
- I don't drink coffee.

168
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,665
They have other things.

169
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:47,127
- What do they have?
- I don't know. You know, cookies, pastries...

170
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:50,338
- Pastries such as bear claws?
- Yeah, sure.

171
00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:52,215
I don't like bear claws.

172
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:56,553
Hey, Penny. Dumb-ass.

173
00:09:58,222 --> 00:09:59,931
Leslie Winkle.

174
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:03,184
Of all the overrated physicists
in all the labs in all the world...

175
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:06,354
...why does it have to be Leslie Winkle?

176
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:09,858
Well, they have a lot in common.
I mean, they're both scientists.

177
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:12,944
Please. The only way she could make
a contribution to science...
178
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:15,864
...would be if they resumed sending chimps
into space.

179
00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:19,868
Okay, well, I have a date too,
so I'll see you.

180
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:24,664
Everybody has a date.

181
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:29,210
Even you, Mario,
going after Princess Peach.

182
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,797
And what am I doing?
I'm just enabling you.

183
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:40,055
- This is pretty good orange chicken.
- Yeah, it's from Chang's.

184
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:41,389
- Not Chow's?
- No, Chang's.

185
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:44,100
- What happened to Chow's?
- It changed.

186
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:49,230
So how many children
do you think we should have?

187
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:50,774
[COUGHING]

188
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,653
I'm sorry, that was a little abrupt.

189
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,112
A little.

190
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,324
There are so many things to talk about
before reproduction.

191
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,242
I sure hope so.

192
00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:06,081
Besides shortness, what genetic
weaknesses run in your family?

193
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:11,252
I'm sorry to interrupt.
Battery's dying. Continue.

194
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:15,965
Uh, genetic weaknesses, right.
Um, there's the lactose intolerance.

195
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:18,760
Don't forget the male-pattern baldness.

196
00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:23,765
When his uncles sit around the dinner
table, they look like a half-carton of eggs.

197
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:44,911
Okay, yeah, my uncles are bald...

198
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:49,290
...but my Aunt Edna is one of the hairiest
women you'll ever meet, so, you know...

199
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:53,378
Sweet lady.
It always tickles when she hugs me.

200
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,423
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

201
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,969
- What now?
- I have to make pee-pee.

202
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,935
I'm sorry
about all of Sheldon's interruptions.

203
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:10,979
He can be a bit of an eccentric.

204
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:12,188
If by "eccentric"...

205
00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:15,316
...you mean "passive-aggressive
East Texas blowhole," I agree.

206
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:19,028
Well, I think tonight
was a very good start.

207
00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:22,157
Me too. You're sure you're okay
postponing intercourse...

208
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:25,326
...until our relationship
is past the initial viability test?

209
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:28,830
No problem.
I'm very skilled at postponing intercourse.

210
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,877
I guess I'll call you
and we'll arrange another evening.

211
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:37,130
I believe protocol dictates
that you wait a minimum of 18 hours...

212
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:40,341
...before you call so I'm not repulsed
by your cloying eagerness.

213
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,845
- Sure.
- Again, it's your decision. You're the man.

214
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,221
PENNY:
No, it wasn't my cat.

215
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:49,142
It was an experiment designed
by this guy named Schrödinger.

216
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,021
From the Charlie Brown cartoons?

217
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:57,692
No, he was some kind of scientist.
Let me start again.

218
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,486
- Oh, hey, Leonard.
- Hello.

219
00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:01,738
- Leslie.
LESLIE: Hi.

220
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:08,453
Okay, well, good night.

221
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:12,874
Okay, well, good night.

222
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:17,045
That ain't gonna make your point.

223
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:31,392
Okay, okay, that's enough.

224
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,437
Call me.

225
00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:37,899
Right.

226
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:39,609
[DOOR CLOSES]

227
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:40,944
Well, okay, good night.

228
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:43,363
- What?
- Had a great time. Ciao.
229
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:49,452
I'm sorry, I am not going back
to the Renaissance fair.

230
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,662
Come on, Sheldon.

231
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:54,874
There are so few places
I can wear my jester costume.

232
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:59,587
I don't care. There are far too many
historical anomalies for my comfort.

233
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,130
Oh, okay, how about this?

234
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:04,008
You can go dressed
as a Star Trek science officer...

235
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:07,929
...exploring a planet similar to Earth
in the 1500s.

236
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:09,764
You mean like Spock?

237
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,100
Sure.

238
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,769
Fascinating.

239
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:19,440
- Hey, fellow scientists. Sheldon.
LEONARD: Mm.

240
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,028
Why don't we move there
so Leslie can join us?

241
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,321
Yeah, let's do it.
242
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:33,204
If you're having trouble
deciding where to sit...

243
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,123
...I suggest One Potato, Two Potato...

244
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:39,335
...or as I call it, the Leslie Winkle
Experimental Methodology.

245
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:44,966
- Don't make this hard for me.
- It's not hard. It's simple.

246
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:48,177
You can either sit with me,
your friend, colleague and roommate...

247
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:52,140
...or you can sit with an overrated scientist
you might have sex with.

248
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,226
You're right, it is simple.

249
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,650
- Hey, Sheldon.
SHELDON: Penny.

250
00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:05,820
Third floor tonight. Mixing it up?

251
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,281
Oh.

252
00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:12,493
I still don't understand
why you don't just go to dinner.

253
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:15,038
All right, let's say I go to dinner alone...

254
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:17,498
...and during the meal
I have to use the restroom.
255
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:20,752
How do I know
someone's not touching my food?

256
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,090
Good night, Sheldon.

257
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,301
Penny, hold on.

258
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:31,262
You sure things can't work out
with you and Leonard?

259
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:32,472
Excuse me?

260
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:36,517
I'm just wondering
if you really gave it the old college try.

261
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,688
Or in your case,
the old community-college try.

262
00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:44,776
Okay, where is this coming from?

263
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:48,780
Leonard is upstairs right now
with my archenemy.

264
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:53,201
- Your archenemy?
- Yes, the Dr. Doom to my Mr. Fantastic.

265
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,203
The Dr. Octopus to my Spider-Man.

266
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:59,082
- The Dr. Sivana to my Captain Marvel...
- Okay, I get it, I get it, I get it.

267
00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:02,210
It's amazing how many super villains
have advanced degrees.

268
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:07,215
Graduate schools should do a better job
of screening those people out.

269
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,217
Sheldon, come back. You're losing me.

270
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:12,762
It's Leslie Winkle, Penny.
She belittles my research.

271
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:15,139
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.

272
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:17,600
She called me "dumb-ass."

273
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,727
I know, I heard.

274
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:21,354
Given the situation...

275
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,315
...I have no choice
but to withdraw my previous objections...

276
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:27,568
...to your ill-considered relationship
with Leonard.

277
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:30,905
Oh, gee, well, thank you for that.

278
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:34,117
But, um, I think for now
Leonard and I are just gonna stay friends.

279
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:37,245
No. That response is unacceptable to me.

280
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:41,749
- You are a smart guy. You must know...
- I'm smart?
281
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:45,920
I'd have to lose 60 IQ points
to be classified as "smart."

282
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,589
- Are you gonna let me talk?
- I'm sorry.

283
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:52,093
You must know that if Leonard and Leslie
wanna be together...

284
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,429
...nothing you can do is gonna stop it.

285
00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:58,307
You continue to underestimate
my capabilities, madam.

286
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:02,020
Okay, let me put it this way.
If you're Leonard's friend...

287
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:05,273
...you will support him
no matter who he wants to be with.

288
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:08,776
Wait a minute.
Why am I doing all the giving here?

289
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:10,945
If Leonard's really my friend...

290
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:14,615
...why doesn't he have to support me
in my hatred of Leslie Winkle?

291
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:18,953
Because love trumps hate.

292
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:22,040
Oh, now you're just making stuff up.

293
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,001
Okay. Good night, Sheldon.

294
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,463
Oh, Mario.

295
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:32,467
If only I could control everyone
the way I control you.

296
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:37,472
Hop, you little plumber, hop, hop, hop.

297
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:46,147
When the two of you reach a natural
stopping point, I'd like to have a word.

298
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:50,151
If the word is "pee-pee," just do it.

299
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,449
Leonard, you're my friend...

300
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:59,494
...and friends support their friends,
apparently.

301
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,704
So I am withdrawing my objection...

302
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:05,333
...to your desire
to have a relationship with Leslie.

303
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:08,044
- Thank you.
- I will graciously overlook the fact...

304
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:10,630
...that she is an arrogant,
subpar scientist...

305
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:14,092
...who believes loop quantum gravity
better unites quantum mechanics...

306
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:17,678
...with general relativity
than does string theory.

307
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,348
You kids have fun.

308
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,141
Hang on a second.

309
00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:26,062
Loop quantum gravity clearly offers more
testable predictions than string theory.

310
00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:29,524
I'm listening. Amuse me.

311
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:32,443
Okay, well, for one thing,
we expect quantized space-time...

312
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:36,364
...to manifest as minute differences
in the speed of light for different colors.

313
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:40,576
Balderdash.
Matter clearly consists of tiny strings.

314
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,539
Are you gonna let him talk to me
like that?

315
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,629
Okay, well,
there is a lot of merit to both theories.

316
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:55,716
No, there isn't. Only loop quantum gravity
calculates the entropy of black holes.

317
00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:57,218
[SNORTS]

318
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:02,056
Sheldon, don't make that noise.
It's disrespectful.
319
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,892
I should hope so.
It was a snort of derision.

320
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:06,978
You agree with me, right?

321
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,730
Loop quantum gravity
is the future of physics.

322
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:14,610
Sorry, Leslie, I guess I prefer
my space stringy, not loopy.

323
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:18,489
Well, I'm glad I found out the truth
about you before this went any further.

324
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:20,116
Truth? What truth?

325
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:23,536
We're talking about untested hypotheses...
Look, it's no big deal.

326
00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:24,745
Oh, it isn't? Really?

327
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:27,582
Tell me, Leonard,
how will we raise the children?

328
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:34,922
I guess we wait until they're old enough
and let them choose their own theory.

329
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:38,134
We can't let them choose, Leonard,
they're children.

330
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,637
Wait, where are you going?

331
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:43,431
I'm sorry.
332
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:46,976
I could've accepted our kids
being genetically unable to eat ice cream...

333
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:49,437
...or ever get a good view of a parade.

334
00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:54,442
But this? This is a deal breaker.

335
00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:07,955
Look on the bright side.

336
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:14,629
- What's the bright side?
- Only nine more months to Comic-Con.

337
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,673
Oh, yeah.

338
00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:26,515
[WHIRRING]

339
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:33,356
Captain, I'm getting an unusual reading.

340
00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:35,816
Yeah, that's great.
You guys want corn dogs?

341
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:37,318
Yeah.

342
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,320
That's a temporal anomaly.

343
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:44,575
Corn dogs didn't come into existence
till the first half of the 20th century.

344
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,354
[English - US - SDH]