WHEN I LOOKED ON YOU

FOR THE FINAL TIME

YOU ASKED ME
TO L O V E Y O U

BY ALEX WILCOX
 WHEN I LOOKED ON YOU
When the ship was made, there was
a first component, a beam or a rivet
maybe. Something never thought of
again. This was fused into the second
piece with blistering fire. Piece by piece,
a ship was made to shield the body from
the shattering pain of exposure to space.

Starting there, at the original piece of

the ship, there is a growth. No, it’s more
than that? It’s The Growth, it’s singular
and purposeful. It’s as if it knows the
ship’s history and is travelling, part by
part through it’s time. It travels through
each material fact of this ship.

What is The Growth? Answering this

question gives you the thematic
backbone of this game. The Growth
could be invasive, destructive, and
horrifying, its conciousness irrelevant,
or it could be a species reaching out,
talking to you while changing what’s
around it. Use one of the options below
or invent your own.

• The Growth is akin to what we

thought of as hell when we still lived
on earth.
• The Growth melts meaning. It drains
substance and leaves a null in its place.
• The Growth is like silence. What
it touches becomes quiet, audibly,
visually, physically.

It’s your job to stop The Growth, but

you feel it looking back at you.
 FOR THE FINAL TIME
As its mechanic, you were the first to know
the ship and you’re the first to notice The
Growth. You felt it in a dream. You saw
it in small changes in distant memories.
A rust on childhood bedroom walls that
you know were brick and wood and
paint; something in the mirror on your
first day in the ship. Then you notice it,
persistent beyond your dreams. You see
it in the joints of the ship.

Mark out 10 empty circles, each an

integral part of the ship. Label the
names of each of these next to each
circle. Opposite, or in some other way
corresponding to the 10 systems, mark
another 10 empty circles. Do not label
these yet. These are your memories.

Roll 2d10 and mark the corresponding

systems and memories in pencil, if
the memory is unmarked then label
the memory as you have the system.
If the dice repeats on a pencil marked
circle then mark it in pen and mark the
surrounding circles in pencil.

The Growth does not move

chronologically through your
memory, maybe by neurons or cells,
but that’s impossible to know now.
Equally, however, it appears to have
a logic, passing from significance to
significance.To label a memory, do
not describe it in full. Give only a
touchstone, so that you may return to
it if need be, then explore it.
 YOU ASKED ME
You explore a memory by moving
through it in your mind, as if playing
out one of your own. These memories,
however, have been touched by The
Growth. When you see The Growth’s
influence, know that it was once
different, but fail to think how. Feel
The Growth observing you, attempting
to communicate. If you are exploring
a memory for a second time then see
it changed further. Write none of this
down, only let it pass in your mind.

Play passess in days with 3 actions on

each. You may spend an action to try
to remove The Growth from a pencil-
marked system or memory. It’s too late
for anything pen-marked.

To attempt removal, choose to either

repair the ship or your memory, roll
1d10 then remove The Growth from
the corresponding circle or 1 higher.
Alternatively, to remove The Growth from
a specific pencil-marked system, you
may mark the corresponding memory
in pen and mark any surrounding circles
in pencil. You may not do this if it is
already marked.

After you have completed your actions,

roll 1d10 and mark the system and
memory that result corresponds to.
If it is empty, mark it in pencil. If it is
pencil, mark it in pen then mark the
surrounding circles in pencil.
 TO LOVE YOU
After you have completed your actions,
roll 1d10 and mark the system and
memory that result corresponds to.
If it is empty, mark it in pencil. If it is
pencil, mark it in pen then mark the
surrounding circles in pencil.

When The Growth is marked in every

system, the ship falls apart. You and
any crew are exposed to the vacuum of
space, but your memories are still your
own. One day the wreck will be found,
The Growth will be dead, but those that
find it will look on it and its death wail
will haunt them.

When The Growth is marked in each

of your memories, you are no longer
who you were. The Growth will stop
spreading through the ship, because
it has you now and you are enough.
Retreat into a final memory, fully created
by The Growth, that demonstrates that
it was always a part of you.

If you manage to remove all the

pencil-marked Growth, only pen marks
remaining, then it will cease to spread.
The pen-marked systems must be
destroyed and rebuilt. The pen-marked
memories are haunting reminders. As
the last mark is erased, The Growth
speaks to you. It is wordless, but you
understand it. You have a last chance to
accept it if you wish.
HOW TO PLAY - REFERENCE SYSTEMS MEMORIES
• Answer ‘What is The Growth?’ and label
all of the systems.
• Roll 2d10, marking the Systems and
Memories they correspond to in pencil. Label
those memories and explore them.
• Play out days, each day making 3 actions
to remove The Growth. Remove it by choosing
Systems or Memories and rolling 1d10, erasing
any corresponding pencil marks, or removing a
system by marking the corresponding memory
in pen if it is unmarked.
• At the end of each day roll 1d10, marking
the corresponding System and Memory in
pencil. If a pencil mark is repeated then it is
marked in pen.