100 Movies in 60 Minutes

This is the ultimate guide to the world of movies. You want to

impress your date, but don’t have 7 weeks time to watch all
important movies day and night? No problem. Want to play a quiz
with friends? Read the “plot” section out loud and let them guess.
You have seen all these movies and simply want to have an hour of
fun, reliving the experience? Here you go.

Here is the list of the 100 movies in this book (in order of
appearance):
Titanic – Reservoir Dogs – Back to the Future – Citizen Kane –
Amelie – Dirty Dancing – Basic Instinct – Falling Down – Forrest
Gump – American Beauty – The Godfather – Karate Kid – King Kong
– Lawrence of Arabia – Kill Bill Vol. 1 – Gone with the Wind – One
Flew over a Cuckoo’s Nest – The Lord of the Rings – Casablanca –
Raiders of The Lost Ark – Chinatown – Silence of the Lambs – E.T.
The Extraterrestrial – Toy Story – The Terminator – Taxi Driver –
Alien – Wall E – A Clockwork Orange – The Gold Rush – Star Wars
– Pulp Fiction – Once Upon a Time in the West – The Great Dictator
– The Dark Knight – Inception – Fight Club – 2001 Space Odyssey –
The Elephant Man – Up – Die Hard – Fargo – Jaws – Snatch –
Godzilla, King of the Monsters – The Wizard of Oz – Psycho – The
Matrix – The Big Lebowski – Annie Hall – Platoon – Scarface –
Trainspotting – District #9 – Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels –
The Graduate – The Life of Brian – Finding Nemo – V for Vendetta –
My Neighbor Totoro – Avatar – Gandhi – Poltergeist – Rocky –
Rambo – Kill Bill Vol. 2 – Monsters, Inc. – The 36th Chamber of the
Shaolin – Kung Fu Panda – Bambi – Brazil – Das Boot – Dirty Harry
– James Bond – Scream – M – Singin’ In the Rain – The Birds –
Duck Soup (The Marx Brothers) – Pirates of the Caribbean – It – The
Lion King – Ghostbusters – The Maltese Falcon – Mad Max – A Fish
called Wanda – Escape from New York – Wild at Heart – Men in
Black – Barbarella – Shrek – Jurassic Park – The Hangover – Cast
Away – Superman – Ben Hur – Apollo 13 – Tarzan, The Ape Man –
The Way of The Dragon – Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for
Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Titanic (1997)

Plot: Unsinkable ship sinks and some douche bag still goes for the
romantic thingy instead to try and get to his first and last real orgy.

No-No-comment: Damn iceberg. // Smart comment: It’s about the

power of love that is greater than social backgrounds or even life in
general.

Don’t ask: what you would have done in this situation.

Reservoir Dogs (1992)

Plot: Guys in black suits give each other funny names with colors so
their identities are kept secret, perform a heist and then torture and
shoot each other, due to their identities being secret.

No-No-comment: I loved the ear scene. // Smart comment: First

heist movie that could easily be a play for theatre.

Don’t ask: why that one guy doesn’t tip.

Back To The Future (1987)

Plot: Incest movie where mad professor and young guy go back in
time and the guy gets harassed by his own mother.

No-No-comment: Major kink. // Smart comment: Teaches parents

that they were young some when, too.

Don’t ask: what the professor did that whole time in the past.
Citizen Kane (1941)

Plot: Newspaper tycoon guy dies an asshole but started out as a

really nice kid.

No-No-comment: Money and power corrupted this man as it did

with modern America. // Smart comment: Money and power
corrupted this man – and did not make him happy.

Don’t ask: how the guy came to notice all this on his deathbed and
not before.
Amelie (2001)

Plot: A lawn gnome travels around the world and sends pictures
from all the sights he visits. In an equally realistic side story, the
sweetest girl ever doesn’t fall for the biggest asshole around.

No-No-comment: I dream of abusing Amelie / I fell in love with

Amelie. // Smart comment: Rated “R” must have been issued by a
blind and deaf man.

Don’t ask: Is Paris really free of debris, trash and graffiti?

Dirty Dancing (1987)

Plot: Bored chick on holidays with her family does what bored chicks
do: Hit on the dancing teacher.

No-No-comment: The abortion chick was hotter. // Smart

comment: Dancing is just a metaphor to show how important it is to
free your mind and live your dreams.

Don’t ask: where the “dirty” is in the dancing.

Basic Instinct (1992)

Plot: Super duper hot and mega intelligent bisexual orgy loving chick
writes novels about murders and commits them afterwards, banging
the brains of the investigating cop out and gets away with it.

No-No-comment: Talk about that “no underpants” scene. // Smart

comment: The hotter the chick, the more she can get away with.

Don’t ask: why there had to be a sequel.

Falling Down (1993)

Plot: Guy runs amok during which his glasses break.

No-No-comment: Refer to Koreans in general. // Smart comment:

It’s society’s fault, again.

Don’t ask: about some kid’s birthday coming up.

Forrest Gump (1994)

Plot: Dumb dude makes the world go round but can’t find love.

No-No-comment: The guy’s an airhead. // Smart comment: Shows

us how we walk through life blindly.

Don’t ask: how the real creator of the smiley reacted to the movie.
American Beauty (1999)

Plot: Perfectly understandable suicide of a guy who ended up with a

bitch wife and unloving daughter, too old to score with hot chick at
work.

No-No-comment: It could happen to all of us! // Smart comment:

We learn that we shouldn’t lead a life to satisfy other’s expectations.

Don’t ask: how the guy can still be the narrator after his death.
The Godfather (1972)

Plot: Old guy runs family business but two of the three sons are
unable to take over. The youngest has to pitch in, and the content
father can peacefully die while growing tomatoes and playing with
his grandson.

No-No-comment: Inventing “Don Something” names for you and

your friends. // Smart comment: Ultimately a movie about power
corrupting people, no matter if illegal or legal.

Don’t ask: how they know that a fish refers to Luca Brasi and not
someone else.
Karate Kid (1984)

Plot: Lonesome loser guy becomes personal slave of an old dude,

but in return gets to learn weird fighting technique with which he can
beat up all the other kids.

No-No-comment: I do karate myself and that move doesn’t exist. //

Smart comment: Reactionist story trying to tell kids to be good
pupils.

Don’t ask: why the old guy doesn’t use his skills for sexual
adventures.
King Kong (1934)

Plot: Huge ape goes apeshit over unfulfilled love to human chick.

No-No-comment: Don’t talk about assumed genitals sizes. // Smart

comment: Shows how love is the strongest emotion, even in the
animal kingdom.

Don’t ask: what the ape imagined to do with the lady.

Lawrence Of Arabia (1962)

Plot: English dude in a burka leads Arab army in war against Turks.

No-No-comment: Brits have always been imperialist f*cks. // Smart

comment: Smart criticism of the “my enemy’s enemy is my friend”
attitude in politics.

Don’t ask: why anyone thought the story could carry someone’s
attention for three and half hours.
Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003)

Plot: Extremely cool broad kills a bunch of other super cool broads.

No-No-comment: It aroused me. // Smart comment: For once, girls

fight in a movie and it is not over a lame dude.

Don’t ask: where the hell Bill was.

Gone With The Wind (1939)

Plot: Selfish bitch is selfish and gets what she deserves.

No-No-comment: Talk about Clark Gable’s mustache. // Smart

comment: It is more a love lesson than a history lesson.

Don’t ask: what Martin Luther King would have said about the
movie.
One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)

Plot: Convict guy pretends to be mad and learns that mad is not so
bad.

No-No-comment: The nurses where hot, somehow. // Smart

comment: Metaphor for some societies being mental patients
oppressed by ruthless dictators.

Don’t ask: why we feel with a rapist and nut jobs when watching the
movie.
The Lord Of The Rings (general)

Plot: Guy saves the world by destroying magic jewelry.

No-No-comment: I know it is not history, but it might as well have

really happened. // Smart comment: The ultimate proof that with
modern technology, there is no book that cannot be translated into
film.

Don’t ask: why scumbag Gandalf can fly around anywhere but lets
his friends walk for months to reach Mordor.
Casablanca (1942)

Plot: Realistic story of a former freedom fighter who lost his first love
in Paris, meets her again while running the best nightclub of an
African town and is chased by Nazis.

No-No-comment: Did you know the real Casablanca is a shithole? //

Smart comment: Interesting to see World War II depicted during
World War II.

Don’t ask: why actors and director thought the movie was lame but
became a classic.
Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981)

Plot: Science guy with a whip steals treasures from bush people in
South America and is chased by Nazis who do the same.

No-No-comment: Is this a true story? // Smart comment: Like

Superman and Clark Kent, Indiana Jones changes between
professor and adventurer.

Don’t ask: how the guy speaks a hundred ancient languages.

Chinatown (1974)

Plot: A private detective gets his nose cut and exposes incest,
corruption and murder tied to the water supply of some city.

No-No-comment: I knew how the story would turn out after 10

minutes in. // Smart comment: There’s black and white, good and
evil, and nothing in between.

Don’t ask: why exactly the film had to be called Chinatown.

Silence Of The Lambs (1991)

Plot: Young and inexperienced FBI agent needs the help of a killer
who ate human livers to find another killer who skins his victims.

No-No-comment: There’s an incest angle missing in the story. //

Smart comment: Psychology is the most powerful means of
criminal investigation.

Don’t ask: why they put a rookie on a case like this.

E.T. – The Extraterrestrial (1982)

Plot: Super cute alien makes friends with some kids but it still
doesn’t want to stay with them.

No-No-comment: I cried at the end. // Smart comment: A movie

about how we treat anything that is different to our standards.

Don’t ask: how one poor cute little thingy travels alone in a
goddamn spaceship.
Toy Story (1995)

Plot: Toys who come to life when no one watches are jealous of
each other, but then bond as their “life” is threatened.

No-No-comment: Imagine this with sex dolls, coming to life when

the owner is not there – hilarious! // Smart comment: Toys will be
boys.

Don’t ask: why Woody doesn’t gun down the astronaut prick right
away.
The Terminator (1984)

Plot: Robot covered with human flesh travels back in time to kill the
mother of a guy who gets on the robot owner’s nerves in the future.

No-No-comment: We cannot let computers take control of our lives.

// Smart comment: If the Terminator would have been successful,
the future wouldn’t have been what it was, so the present wouldn’t
have been what it is, so of course it doesn’t succeed.

Don’t ask: why they didn’t travel back to kill his great-great-
grandfather.
Taxi Driver (1976)

Plot: Guy falls in love with a whore, realizes that life is a bitch and
runs amok.

No-No-comment: I feel like this sometimes. // Smart comment:

Civilization will eventually destroy itself.

Don’t ask: you’re talking to me?

Alien (1979)

Plot: Bad corporation try to capture evilest creature in the universe

that wipes out entire crew of a spaceship except for that stick-to-the-
rules bitch on board.

No-No-comment: Funny the evil guy is called an “Android”. // Smart

comment: There are things that we as humans don’t need to
explore.

Don’t ask: Will they really be smoking like two packs a day in the
future?
Wall E (2008)

Plot: Cute mini-robot has to clean up Earth from garbage, falls in

love with a female spybot named EVE, and then stages a mutiny on
the evil spaceship that carries the remains of mankind and makes
them inhabit Earth again.

No-No-comment: Wall E should have been named A Dam. // Smart

comment: The most unrealistic thing in this vision is a robot saving
us from ourselves.

Don’t ask: why a cool chickbot would fall in love with a garbage
dude.
A Clockwork Orange (1971)

Plot: Scumbag violent youth is violent, gets cured violently, faces

violence and has to violently be cured from his violence cure.

No-No-comment: Movie about violence. // Smart comment:

Governments care about themselves more than about people.

Don’t ask: why a psychiatrist has to have blue hair.

The Gold Rush (1925)

Plot: Guy looks for gold, finds love, and in the course of it needs to
eat his shoe.

No-No-comment: Love is more powerful than money. // Smart

comment: Werner Herzog also ate his shoe.

Don’t ask: why he doesn’t dump the indecisive bitch.

Star Wars (general)

Plot: Good guy turns evil, so evil that he doesn’t support his kids and
destroys planets, and is taken down by his own son in the end.

No-No-comment: Like Yoda you must not talk. // Smart comment:

Luckily, they did not leave room for three sequels to the prequels.

Don’t ask: why super modern lasers that kill without blood or pain
miss their target all the time.
Pulp Fiction (1994)

Plot: Big bold black dude gets screwed over by four kids and a
boxer, hires two really cool killers who shoot the kids, but the boxer
kills one of them and gets away.

No-No-comment: Wonder about what is in that case. // Smart

comment: If you have to make Travolta dance in his comeback, do it
like that.

Don’t ask: if acts of God really exist.

Once Upon A Time In The West (1968)

Plot: Guy with a harmonica protects hot widow from badass and
gets help by other strange guy.

No-No-comment: I would love to be in a stand-off myself. // Smart

comment: For nearly three hours, the plot is relatively thin.

Don’t ask: if there was rape involved.

The Great Dictator (1940)

Plot: Dictator guy hates Jews but looks like one who holds a speech
to his whole Empire disguised as him.

No-No-comment: Is this a true story? // Smart comment: You

wonder why we entered the war years after the movie was shot.

Don’t ask: why the southern fascist country is called “Bacteria”.

The Dark Knight (2008)

Plot: Batman wants to wipe out all criminals for altruistic reasons,
but a badass named “Joker” makes it really, really personal.

No-No-comment: Does Gotham stand for a city on Earth? // Smart

comment: Can a knight really be that dark?

Don’t ask: why you see a six-pack when Wayne is Batman.

Inception (2010)

Plot: Sleeping dudes engage in all kinds of weird fights while

dreaming.

No-No-comment: Why don’t they just dream that they win? // Smart
comment: In a realistic version of the movie, we would stare at
sleeping guys.

Don’t ask: who does what in which level of dreams.

Fight Club (1999)

Plot: Insurance guy loses it and literally beats up himself from time
to time. Others join to beat others up, so things get out of hand.

No-No-comment: So did IKEA sponsor the movie? // Smart

comment: The things you own end up owning you.

Don’t ask: if the book was better.

2001 Space Odyssey (1968)

Plot: Short ape documentary followed by long science-fiction movie

where some computer controls them all.

No-No-comment: I still think that God created Earth some 5000

years ago. // Smart comment: Everyone knows that you have to
reboot a computer if it gets on your nerves.

Don’t ask: why this should have happened ten years ago.
The Elephant Man (1980)

Plot: Ugly guy is ugly and becomes cool dude when un-uglied by
mad professor.

No-No-comment: I didn’t see an Elephant in the whole movie. //

Smart comment: Shows us how society is focused on looks.

Don’t ask: how the real story the movie is based on turned out.
Up (2009)

Plot: Old dude is tired of being old and flies away with his house.

No-No-comment: He should have lived his dreams when he was

young. // Smart comment: Inspires us to live our life to the fullest.

Don’t ask: why we don’t care about the dead granny after 5 mins.
Die Hard (1988)

Plot: L.A. needs a New York cop to deal with German terrorists led
by Hans Gruber.

No-No-comment: Bruce is Chuck Norris’ heir. // Smart comment:

Nothing to learn here, that’s real entertainment.

Don’t ask: what our hero would have done if his wife wasn’t
involved.
Fargo (1996)

Plot: Pregnant small-town cop chick can’t stand to have unsolved

murders in her district.

No-No-comment: Woman with a gun and a star on her fur cap in

the snow reminds me of Soviets. // Smart comment: Blood looks
more red in the snow.

Don’t ask: why the shredder scene was necessary.

Jaws (1975)

Plot: Huge fish decides to eat humans, because it can.

No-No-comment: Why didn’t they call the Marines in? // Smart

comment: Cop, fisherman and marine scientist team up to show the
superiority of collaboration.

Don’t ask: why it takes so long for the first jaw to show up.
Snatch (2000)

Plot: Gypsy boxer loves his mother and could have been world
champion in boxing if it weren’t for smoking, drinking and being a
moody bitch. Misses out on a huge diamond, too.

No-No-comment: Could we have an American remake where they

actually speak English? // Smart comment: Has all the makings of a
comedy while being a brutal crime-story thriller.

Don’t ask: why the guy who made that movie married Madonna.
Godzilla – King Of The Monsters (1956)

Plot: Atomic-bomb-testing wakes up lizard-dinosaur that decides to

f*ck up Tokyo for good.

No-No-comment: The poor thing is just misunderstood. // Smart

comment: We should never experiment with nuclear power.

Don’t ask: why the American reporter in the movie is named “Steve
Martin”.
The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Plot: Shoe-fetishist girl teams up with three freaks to win over bigger
freak.

No-No-comment: It wasn’t a dream, was it? // Smart comment:

Everyone has qualities.

Don’t ask: if anyone you know was aroused by the witches.

Psycho (1960)

Plot: Guy goes nuts over killing his mother, therefore killing others in
a small motel.

No-No-comment: The shower scene is historic. // Smart comment:

There was enough said about the shower scene.

Don’t ask: why everyone only remembers the shower scene.

The Matrix (1999)

Plot: Cute, young and handsome hacker nerd hacks reality-

producing supercomputer to save humanity from virtual reality.

No-No-comment: We live in the matrix already. // Smart comment:

Neo and Morpheus are branded terrorists by the government.

Don’t ask: what hackers really look like.

The Big Lebowski (1998)

Plot: Weed-smoking bowler loses rug that really held the room
together.

No-No-comment: I have an “Autobahn” record at home. // Smart

comment: It is true, the rug really held the room together.

Don’t ask: why the rug was so important.

Annie Hall (1977)

Plot: Neurotic guy is neurotic and even talks to the camera.

No-No-comment: I think he is rather narcissistic. // Smart

comment: Masterpiece of an innovator.

Don’t ask: why Woody Allen plays a neurotic comedian.

Platoon (1986)

Plot: Story about the fact that war might suck.

No-No-comment: We need soldiers to defend us. // Smart

comment: War sucks.

Don’t ask: why war sucks.

Scarface (1983)

Plot: Greedy guy gets so greedy he is eventually killed by even

greedier guys.

No-No-comment: Say hello to my little friend. // Smart comment:

Don’t know if rise or fall was more spectacular.

Don’t ask: how a cokehead gets so far.

Trainspotting (1996)

Plot: People on drugs f*ck up their and others’ lives.

No-No-comment: I have my drug usage under control. // Smart

comment: It plays in Scotland and not New York, to make it relevant
to all of us.

Don’t ask: how anyone can love movies that make you feel bad.
District #9 (2009)

Plot: Mistreated aliens turn out to be not so bad after all.

No-No-comment: They remind me of Zoidberg, sometimes. //

Smart comment: Aliens are treated like all other refugees on most
places on Earth.

Don’t ask: why it had to be cat food.

Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

Plot: Friends lose half a million in a poker game to gangsters but get
away since they make all gangsters in town kill each other.

No-No-comment: Is it a comedy or a crime movie? // Smart

comment: The blueprint for “Snatch”.

Don’t ask: how the guys could ever turn the guns into money.
The Graduate (1967)

Plot: Cinematic invention of the MILF.

No-No-comment: I thought there would be more sex. // Smart

comment: The teenage daughter will always be the ultimate
seduction.

Don’t ask: if Simon and Garfunkel’s “Mrs. Robinson” has to do with

it.
The Life Of Brian (1979)

Plot: With a little luck, guy could have made his way into the bible.

No-No-comment: Shoe-jokes. // Smart comment: Strong atheist

statement.

Don’t ask: why female role is casted with man.

Finding Nemo (2003)

Plot: Unfunny clownfish saves his kid and learns his lesson.

No-No-comment: We should set all fish free. // Smart comment:

The son finally educates the father by disobedience.

Don’t ask: why he didn’t hit on that blue chick every 5 minutes until
it worked.
V for Vendetta (2009)

Plot: Guy with a mask impresses girl by fighting against a fascist

state.

No-No-comment: Why do the Anonymous hackers use this mask?

// Smart comment: In a totalitarian society, terrorists are freedom
fighters.

Don’t ask: why he reminds you of the Phantom of The Opera.

My Neighbor Totoro (1988)

Plot: Two girls and magic forest spirits magically live through
magical adventures.

No-No-comment: I would so take one of those as a pet! // Smart

comment: Home is where your heart is.

Don’t ask: Where’s the magician?

Avatar (2009)

Plot: Blue forest creatures would rather die than leave their magical
holy tree, but white army guy goes in there trying to convince them
that they should, anyway.

No-No-comment: Are they blue to be neutral to minorities? // Smart

comment: I have seen this movie 80 years ago as a “Western”.

Don’t ask: where the General Custer analogy is.

Gandhi (1982)

Plot: Bold peace dude non-violently fights an army.

No-No-comment: There were only 350 million Indians these days?

// Smart comment: This man inspired peaceful revolutions years
after he was gone.

Don’t ask: what we as a society learned from it.

Poltergeist (1982)

Plot: Ghosts haunt house, simple as that.

No-No-comment: Why do the ghosts turn evil again? // Smart

comment: Historic special FX in this one.

Don’t ask: why it had to be the television.

Rocky (general)

Plot: Underdog Italian boxer beats them all, no matter how big and
scary.

No-No-comment: Adriaaaaaaaaane! // Smart comment: The

original movie from 1976 took less than 1 m$ to produce and won 3
academy awards.

Don’t ask: why it went from art to blockbuster crap.

Rambo (general)

Plot: Underdog ex-Green Beret beats them all, no matter how big
and scary.

No-No-comment: Have you seen “Tropic Thunder”? // Smart

comment: The original movie from 1982 was only called “First
Blood” after a great novel.

Don’t ask: why Rambo III is dedicated to the Taliban.

Kill Bill Vol. 2 (2004)

Plot: Super cool broad that killed a bunch of other broads now kills
Bill.

No-No-comment: Eye-snatching is cool. // Smart comment: It is

incredible how you see “Kung Fu” and forget that he is “Kung Fu”
within a minute.

Don’t ask: if the five pointed palm exploding heart technique really
exists.
Monsters, Inc. (2001)

Plot: Monsters scare kids, but secretly fear them. In the end, they all
love each other.

No-No-comment: Animation films are so unrealistic these days. //

Smart comment: Laughs are stronger than fear.

Don’t ask: if the movie tells us to question collective fears stoked by

the government.
The 36th Chamber Of The Shaolin (1978)

Plot: Good bold guys impressively fight against bad bold guys.

No-No-comment: They shouldn’t mess with Chuck Norris. // Smart

comment: Did you know there is a real Shaolin Buddhist monastery
in China?

Don’t ask: if this is a true story.

Kung Fu Panda (2008)

Plot: Overweight Panda is mocked by super Kung Fu pupils but

overtakes them soon enough.

No-No-comment: That turtle dude bailed on them! // Smart

comment: There is no secret ingredient.

Don’t ask: why there’s no love story involved.

Bambi (1942)

Plot: Young deer loses mother to hunters and is brought to safety by

Daddy.

No-No-comment: Movie could have been called “The Deer Hunter”,

eh? // Smart comment: An anti-hunting film without even showing
hunters.

Don’t ask: how you can produce something like this during World
War II.
Brazil (1985)

Plot: Guy tries to do the right thing but has to experience that no one
is interested in that, claiming he does the wrong thing.

No-No-comment: Been there, done that. // Smart comment:

Bureaucracy eats its bureaucrats.

Don’t ask: what kinds of shrooms Terry Gilliam collects in the

woods.
Das Boot (1981)

Plot: Crew of Nazi submarine guys is doomed.

No-No-comment: Sing “Yellow Submarine”. // Smart comment: Of

40,000 Nazi submarine soldiers, only some 10,000 survived.

Don’t ask: about the music that one German main actor produces in
his primary career.
Dirty Harry (1971)

Plot: Hardcore cop seriously wants to catch crazy sniper.

No-No-comment: Society should allow more cops like him. // Smart

comment: Archetype of that modern “I don’t care about rules, I
deliver results”-cop.

Don’t ask: why crazy killers must have a crazy laughter.

James Bond (general)

Plot: Super slick dude saves mankind from crazy guy with world
domination fantasy and gets laid several times in the process.

No-No-comment: Reminds me of Austin Powers. // Smart

comment: The modern movies lost that elegant ease of bringing
down villains.

Don’t ask: why all the chicks fall for the guy.
Scream (1996)

Plot: Killer kills loads of teens until they remember all the movies
they saw.

No-No-comment: Talk about Ghostface Killah albums. // Smart

comment: Was important for that Scary Movie series.

Don’t ask: why most bloodbaths occur in small peaceful towns.

M (1931)

Plot: Police can’t catch a child murderer, so other murderers try to.

No-No-comment: No wonder the movie is German. // Smart

comment: Probably the first movie about a serial killer.

Don’t ask: if anyone would name a movie with a single letter in

times of Google.
Singin’ In The Rain (1951)

Plot: Silent film couple does not do so well in musicals.

No-No-comment: There’s a serial killer missing to spice up the

story. // Smart comment: No one credits Gene Kelly for also
directing it.

Don’t ask: if “G’s” must have been rare those days: Singin’ Swingin’
Glorious Feelin’.
The Birds (1963)

Plot: Birds attack people, because they can.

No-No-comment: Would have loved to see some budgies in there.

// Smart comment: Anything can turn against humanity at any given
time.

Don’t ask: if you can teach a parrot some lines from the film.
The Marx Brothers: Duck Soup (1933)

Plot: Freak dictator of freak state declares war on other freak state
that sends freak spies.

No-No-comment: Comparisons with Charlie Chaplin. // Smart

comment: A comedy that unfolded influence for decades.

Don’t ask: if there is any connection to “Freaks”.

Pirates of the Caribbean (2003)

Plot: Pirate captain fights his former crew that now consists of
zombies, together with a blacksmith who is in love with the
governor’s daughter. Classic story.

No-No-comment: Sparrow is pretty gay. // Smart comment:

Reinvention of a genre.

Don’t ask: if a reinvention of the Zombie or Pirate genre.

IT (1990)

Plot: Evil badass clown terrorized a town and comes back 30 years
later.

No-No-comment: There are no evil clowns. // Smart comment: No

one understands why this one of Stephen King’s books didn’t make it
on the big screen.

Don’t ask: what a TV movie does in this book.

The Lion King (1994)

Plot: Young lion prince chooses exile over thinking to have

contributed to his father’s death, then comes back and becomes
king.

No-No-comment: Why is there no deer hunting scene? // Smart

comment: It is about the circle of life.

Don’t ask: why they sing African songs.

Ghostbusters (1984)

Plot: Bunch of funny nerds chase cute ghosts that slime people,
gaining experience that lets them beat an ancient god ghost in the
end.

No-No-comment: We should set up a ghost removal service of our

own! // Smart comment: The sequel sucked, which proves the
originality of the story.

Don’t ask: what Ray Parker Jr. does today.

The Maltese Falcon (1941)

Plot: Private detective gets lured into complicated case by hot chick
that of course is not who she said she was.

No-No-comment: What is “Maltese” anyway? // Smart comment:

“Kasper Gutman” and “Joel Cairo” must be two of the coolest movie
criminals of all time.

Don’t ask: how much “Chinatown” was influenced by this one.

Mad Max (1979)

Plot: Cop’s family is murdered so he takes his super cool monster

car and chases down a gang of biker assholes.

No-No-comment: Could only happen in Australia. // Smart

comment: When society degenerates, it needs degenerated people
to provide justice.

Don’t ask: why they used a 1974 Ford in a future movie.

A Fish Called Wanda (1988)

Plot: Four people team up for a diamond robbery but then everyone
tries to betray the other. Fish is merely involved.

No-No-comment: I should try carrying French Fries in my nose. //

Smart comment: International comedy that makes fun of the
Britons.

Don’t ask: if there really are chicks with a foreign language fetish.
Escape From New York (1981)

Plot: Badass dude is sent to Manhattan that now is a prison to save

the president who flew over there and crashed.

No-No-comment: I want a car like “The Duke”. // Smart comment:

Like in 99% of all action movies, the hero is betrayed by those who
pretend to be the good ones.

Don’t ask: why we wouldn’t choose some Tundra land in Alaska for
a prison.
Wild At Heart (1990)

Plot: Guy named Sailor knocks up chick named Lula. Freaks that
were hired by Lula’s mom to kill Sailor don’t give a f*ck.

No-No-comment: Talk about that jacket. // Smart comment: Small

period in his career where David Lynch was actually sane.

Don’t ask: why we feel with Sailor who is a murderer himself.

Men In Black (1997)

Plot: White and black dudes are super secret agents who save
Earth from outer space terrorists.

No-No-comment: They look like the Blues Brothers. // Smart

comment: Should have been the real Ghostbusters sequel.

Don’t ask: why the credits say the aliens were in no way mistreated;
since they are the scum of the Universe.
Barbarella (1968)

Plot: Super hot fur lingerie wearing chick does the Universe.

No-No-comment: A pity that sex in future will be holding hands. //

Smart comment: Finally a sci-fi movie that is properly situated: in
the 41st century.

Don’t ask: if any adult versions of the movie exist.

Shrek (2001)

Plot: Ugly and stinking but nice and lovable ogre gets the princess.

No-No-comment: About how smart the princess is. // Smart

comment: A modern fairytale.

Don’t ask: why the donkey talks black.

Jurassic Park (1993)

Plot: Scientists clone dinosaurs and then lose control over them.

No-No-comment: Unrealistic because there were no dinosaurs

when God created Earth. // Smart comment: Thou shalt not clone.

Don’t ask: why “a power breakdown” was such an uncalculated risk

that set free the dinosaurs.
The Hangover (2009)

Plot: Four guys get so wasted they lose one of them and spend the
entire next day reconstructing what happened.

No-No-comment: I loved the kid wanker scene. // Smart comment:

‘Memento’ as a comedy.

Don’t ask: if you and your friends could do the same.

Cast away (2000)

Plot: Super lonely guy is lonely and gayishly falls in love with a
volleyball.

No-No-comment: “Wilson” is a volleyball brand, right? // Smart

comment: A tale about what makes us human.

Don’t ask: if Wilson is the most famous ball in Hollywood history.

Superman (1978)

Plot: An alien orphan from Krypton somehow turns out to be a smart

handsome superhero instead of a slimy man-eating monster.

No-No-comment: Batman would beat the shit out of him. // Smart

comment: Spiderman would beat the shit out of him.

Don’t ask: why they couldn’t wait another one or two decades until
real special FX were developed.
Ben Hur (1959)

Plot: Jewish prince gets betrayed and imprisoned by Roman friend,

but manages to come back for revenge.

No-No-comment: Horse carriage races somehow feel gay. // Smart

comment: Today, they would have cramped the close to three and a
half hours into 90 minutes of CGI horse races.

Don’t ask: if the story is from the bible.

Apollo 13 (1995)

Plot: Astronaut dudes do astronaut stuff that goes unplanned ways,

but they save the day.

No-No-comment: Where are the Aliens? // Smart comment: A true

story.

Don’t ask: how Kevin Bacon made it into the cast.

Tarzan, The Ape Man (1932)

Plot: Guy grows up in the jungle, then realizes humping trees wasn’t
the real thing when he meets Jane and rescues her from violent
dwarfs.

No-No-comment: Do violent dwarfs really exist? // Smart

comment: In its remake from the 80’s, Bo Derek was the hotter
“Jane”.

Don’t ask: if “Jane” is a good pick up line.

The Way Of The Dragon (1972)

Plot: Guy works in restaurant and fights off street gang, which all
serves as an excuse to stage an epic fight between Chuck Norris
and Bruce Lee.

No-No-comment: Didn’t they shave their chest hair back then? //

Smart comment: The Colosseum has seen no greater fight, even
200 years ago.

Don’t ask: why the good guy wears black and the bad guy wears
white.
Borat – Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit
Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan (2006)

Plot: Third world sends dude to learn from first world.

No-No-comment: Greet everyone with “Yakshemash”. // Smart

comment: Borat reveals how sick we are.

Don’t ask: where to get a swim suit like his.