Sunday 18/04/2021Praise Baptist Church Ndongo-Buea

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:17-21)

This sermon aims to narrow the gap between scriptural instruction and our day-to-day
challenges.
Today, we’re going to talk about forgiveness. Perhaps nothing God asks us to do is harder than
forgiving that person who has wronged us deeply.
We’re going to talk about those deep hurts. Those painful blows we take from people we least
expect, from people we love and cherish and trust.
In the Psalms, we read the very raw personal reflections of King David, about a betrayal that
nearly took his breath away. If you have your Bible’s please turn first to Psalm 41:9 and Psalm
55:12-15
In these psalms, David speaks of the betrayal of his closest friend and advisor. This was a trusted
man who spent many years at David’s side, giving great counsel. This man’s name was
Ahithophel. Today, we’re going to learn Ahithophel’s story.
Who is Ahithophel?
Who was Ahithophel? His name means, “brother of folly, but his life was anything but that. He
was David’s most trusted counselor. He was known throughout the kingdom for his great, great
wisdom.
In fact, it says in 2 Samuel 16:23 (KJV) “And the counsel of Ahithophel, which he counseled in
those days, was as if a man had enquired at the oracle of God: so was all the counsel of
Ahithophel both with David and with Absalom.”
This man was so wise, so tuned into God, that when he spoke and when people inquired of his
wisdom, it was as if God Himself was speaking.
Have you ever known someone who has that kind of wisdom? They just exuded wisdom. They
wasted no words. And when you sought advice, you got advice.
I’ll bet this man saved David a lot of foolish choices. I’ll bet this man helped David in times of
battle, in building the kingdom, in expanding the borders. David, according the psalms, relied on
nobody more than Ahithophel.
A Stunning Betrayal
But as we open the pages of 2 Samuel, we find a stunning set of circumstances. First, we have
Absalom’s attempted coup upon David.
These were tough days in David’s life. Not only was someone trying to take the throne, but his
own son was trying to take the throne. I can’t imagine the pain David felt. Much of this was
because of David’s own sin, that his family was ripped apart.
In 2 Samuel 15, we read about Absalom’s charm offensive among the people of Israel:
And it came to pass after this, that Absalom prepared him chariots and horses, and fifty men to
run before him.
And Absalom rose up early, and stood beside the way of the gate: and it was so, that when any
man that had a controversy came to the king for judgment, then Absalom called unto him, and

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said, Of what city art thou? And he said, Thy servant is of one of the tribes of Israel. And
Absalom said unto him, See, thy matters are good and right; but there is no man deputed of the
king to hear thee.
Absalom said moreover, Oh that I were made judge in the land, that every man which hath any
suit or cause might come unto me, and I would do him justice!
And it was so, that when any man came nigh to him to do him obeisance, he put forth his hand,
and took him, and kissed him. And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king
for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel. 2 Samuel 15:1-6 (KJV)
David’s servants warned David what was going on. They said, you need to flee Jerusalem.
And there came a messenger to David, saying, The hearts of the men of Israel are after Absalom.
And David said unto all his servants that were with him at Jerusalem, Arise, and let us flee; for
we shall not else escape from Absalom: make speed to depart, lest he overtake us suddenly, and
bring evil upon us, and smite the city with the edge of the sword. 2 Samuel 15:13-14 (KJV)
If you continue to read, you’ll see that David fled. In verse 30, we see that David went up to the
Mount of Olives to weep. David loved the city of Jerusalem, but knew that the city would be hurt
in the battle. He loved the city.
People wonder why David didn’t stay and fight. I think David left Jerusalem for two reasons.
1) I think he leaves because he knows that this battle against his own sin is a result of his sin in
not confronting Ammon, his son, who had raped his daughter, Tamar (2 Samuel 13). David was
passive in not dealing with that and that is what angered Absalom.
2) David loved Absalom more than he loved anyone else. He wanted to spare his son’s life.
So David’s own son is betraying him. But it's about to get worse. Let’s switch points of view and
see what Absalom is up to.
We already know he has lined up on his side many of the mighty men of Israel. Their hearts were
turned. But who does Absalom seek out as an advisor? Who is the first person he seeks?
And Absalom sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David's counselor, from his city, even from
Giloh, while he offered sacrifices. And the conspiracy was strong; for the people increased
continually with Absalom. 2 Samuel 15:12 (KJV)
Absalom was rebellious, but he was not stupid. He sent for the best. He sent for Ahithophel. He
wanted the wisest man in all of Israel at his side.
Let’s keep reading. When David discovers that Ahithophel joined Absalom, look at his reaction:
And one told David, saying, Ahithophel is among the conspirators with Absalom. And David
said, O LORD, I pray thee, turn the counsel of Ahithophel into foolishness. 2 Samuel 15:31
(KJV)
In other words, he is saying, Oh no. Ahithophel is with them. If they listen to Ahithophel, this is
over with. That’s how wise and mighty this man was. His advice was golden. He was a veteran
of war. There was no greater counselor.
And he prayed an unusual prayer. He asked God to suddenly turn Ahithophel stupid. To suddenly
render this wise man foolish. Can God do that? Absolutely. In essence, David is desperate,
saying, “Oh, God, just this once make Ahithophel unwise.”

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Then David gets smart. He sent his own trusted advisor Hushai to try to infiltrate Absalom’s
inner circle:
So Hushai, David's friend, came into the city, and Absalom came into Jerusalem. 2 Samuel 15:37
(KJV)
Now let’s fast forward to 1 Samuel 16.
And Absalom, and all the people the men of Israel, came to Jerusalem, and Ahithophel with him.
And it came to pass, when Hushai the Archite, David's friend, was come unto Absalom, that
Hushai said unto Absalom, God save the king, God save the king.
And Absalom said to Hushai, Is this thy kindness to thy friend? Why wentest thou not with thy
friend?
And Hushai said unto Absalom, Nay; but whom the LORD, and this people, and all the men of
Israel, choose, his will I be, and with him will I abide.
And again, whom should I serve? should I not serve in the presence of his son? as I have served
in thy father's presence, so will I be in thy presence.
Then said Absalom to Ahithophel, Give counsel among you what we shall do.
And Ahithophel said unto Absalom, Go in unto thy father's concubines, which he hath left to
keep the house; and all Israel shall hear that thou art abhorred of thy father: then shall the hands
of all that are with thee be strong.
So they spread Absalom a tent upon the top of the house; and Absalom went in unto his father's
concubines in the sight of all Israel.
And the counsel of Ahithophel, which he counseled in those days, was as if a man had enquired
at the oracle of God: so was all the counsel of Ahithophel both with David and with Absalom. 2
Samuel 16:15-23 (KJV)
Essentially now Absalom has two counselors. Hushai and Ahithophel. But Ahithophel was the
more trusted counselor. But listen to his advice to Absalom.
Remember that this was David’s closest friend and trusted advisor. But something happened and
now he’s giving Absalom advice to go after David and not only shame him, but kill him.
At the end of chapter 16, he tells him to go in and take over his father’s harem. Now this was a
gross and despicable act. But in those days it was especially egregious. It meant that Absalom
was asserting himself and saying that He now had rights to everything that was David’s.
It was the ultimate slap in the face. From a man who once loved and worked with David.
Amazing.
But it doesn’t stop there. After Absalom does this, he turns to both men, Hushai and Ahithophel
for advice on how to fight this coming civil war, how to defeat David’s armies.
Moreover Ahithophel said unto Absalom, Let me now choose out twelve thousand men, and I
will arise and pursue after David this night:
And I will come upon him while he is weary and weak handed, and will make him afraid: and all
the people that are with him shall flee; and I will smite the king only:
And I will bring back all the people unto thee: the man whom thou seekest is as if all returned: so
all the people shall be in peace.

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And the saying pleased Absalom well, and all the elders of Israel.
Then said Absalom, Call now Hushai the Archite also, and let us hear likewise what he saith. 2
Samuel 17:1-5 (KJV)
You can hear the bitterness in Ahithophel’s voice. “I will go into him in the dark of night and I
will take him out myself while he is weak and weary.” This man wasn’t betraying David out of
convenience.
He clearly had revenge on his mind. It was personal. He said, “I will smite the king myself.”
Wow.
God’s Hand
But as we continue, we see God’s hand on David’s life. Remember David’s prayer that just once
Absalom would ignore the advice of Ahithophel. So Absalom turns to Hushai and says, “What’s
your plan.”
We don’t have to read it, but Hushai, empowered by God, gives great advice. He says,
essentially, “Hey, Absalom, you’re new at this. You’re father is a seasoned warrior. He knows
how to hide, he hid from Saul for years. And if you look weak, the people will turn on you.”
He counseled him to instead go before the people, to recruit more in the army, and lead the battle
himself. Well, Absalom listened. If you read on this story, you’ll know that this bought David a
lot of time and eventually David was victorious and Absalom was killed. In chapter 18, we read
of David’s sorrow over the death of his son.
But what happened to Ahithophel? Let’s read:
And when Ahithophel saw that his counsel was not followed, he saddled his ass, and arose, and
gat him home to his house, to his city, and put his household in order, and hanged himself, and
died, and was buried in the sepulchre of his father. 2 Samuel 17:23 (KJV)
So this once-proud man, who had been an advisor to the King, who had loved David, ended his
life in disgrace and dishonor.
What happened? What had made this guy Ahithophel so bitter?
I want to walk you back a little bit.
Turn with me to 2 Samuel 23. This is a list of David’s mighty men, those men who stood tall by
David.
I want you to read verse 34.
Eliphelet the son of Ahasbai, the son of the Maachathite, Eliam the son of Ahithophel the
Gilonite, 2 Samuel 23:34 (KJV)
Eliam, the son of Ahithophel. Eliam was his son and was one of David’s mighty men.
Now turn with me to 2 Samuel 11. This is the story of David’s adultery with Bathsheba.
And David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter
of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite? 2 Samuel 11:3 (KJV)
Let’s put this together. Bathsheba was Eliam’s daughter. What does that make her?
Ahithophel’s granddaughter. Think about this. This man had served faithfully alongside David,
supporting him, loving him. His own son had fought faithfully alongside David as one of his
mighty men.

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That’s why the servant questioned David, when David demanded to have Bathsheba. Do you
know whose daughter this is?
Imagine the hurt and pain Ahithophel felt? You did what to my granddaughter? You wicked old
man, you ruined her marriage, killed my son-in-law? Also think of this. Because of David’s
arrogance and sin:
Ahithophel’s grandson died. And then when Solomon was born, every time Ahithophel looked at
him, he was reminded of David’s sin.
I can imagine his anger. I will get David. This is not right. You can touch anyone, but not touch
my granddaughter.
So that’s why Ahithophel wasn’t in Jerusalem anymore. He went back home. But he didn’t leave
his bitterness behind. For years he plotted and stewed with anger.
Then when Absalom summoned him and told him his plan, he seized the chance. He told
Absalom, I will go myself with an army. I will humble David and get revenge for what he did to
our family. Blood is thicker than anything. I will kill him. This will be my chance.
Real Hurt, Real Bitterness
See when we talk about forgiveness, we’re talking about real hurts. We’re talking about
honest-to-goodness hurts when people you love betray you. But what did this bitterness do?
It didn’t hurt David. It hurt Ahithophel. Someone wise once said: “Bitterness is like drinking
poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

How to Forgive
So the question is, how to forgive when someone hurts you deeply. It’s not easy, but here is what
the Bible says:
1) Remember that bitterness kills. That was the warning we receive in Hebrews.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up
trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Hebrews 12:15
How do we fail the Grace of God, by being bitter, by letting it hurt us and poison us and defiling
us. And it’s a root of bitterness. It doesn’t happen all at once. It festers and grows and soon gets
out of control. We want to live by Grace, God’s grace.

2) Our Pattern is Christ.

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's
sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 (KJV)
You know Christ hasn’t asked us to do anything He hasn’t done. You say, “but I haven’t done
anything to Him that this person did to me.”
Oh yeah? Have you read the first part of Romans? How sinful and wicked our hearts. Did you
know that we are only one step away from dong the same thing. But the Scriptures say that
‘while we were yet sinners’ Christ died for us.
You see, our forgiveness is only possible because of the forgiveness we receive in Christ. It’s a
supernatural forgiveness. It’s His forgiveness.

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3) Don’t return evil for evil.
Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. [18] If it be
possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. [19] Dearly beloved, avenge not
yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay,
saith the Lord. [20] Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in
so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. [21] Be not overcome of evil, but overcome
evil with good. Romans 12:17-21 (KJV)
As much as you’re flesh wants to score points, to come up with the creative comeback, God says,
“don’t return evil for evil.” Let God fight your battles for you. And He will. He really will.
David realized this:
As for me, I will call upon God; and the Lord shall save me. Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and
he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:16, 22 (KJV)

4) Give it to Lord—every single day.

Then came Peter to Him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive
him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until
seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21-22 (KJV)
Do you know what this means? It means that every day, you’ll be reminded of that hurt and
every day, you’ll have to give it to the Lord. You may have to give it to Him several times a day.
And sometimes it will kind of fade, and other times it will just come roaring back. And you’ll
have to give it to the Lord again.

5) Try to Move forward in time.

Forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight. There is no magic pill. Only daily surrender to the Lord.
Paul said this, in time we need to put our past behind us.
Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things
which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, Philippians 3:13 (KJV)
Oh, how I want to dwell on the past hurts. There is something almost addicting in dwelling in our
pain. But God calls us to put those things behind. Notice Paul said, “Not that I’ve got this
mastered.” As if to say, “Look, I still struggle with this, but this is what we need to do.”
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you,
with all malice: Ephesians 4:31 (KJV)