FRASER'S 

GAMSAT

ESSAY
GUIDE

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Health is not valued till
sickness comes.

Take care of the patient and

everything will else will follow.

Control healthcare and you

control the people.

Wherever the art of medicine

is loved, there is also a love of
humanity.

The central themes include

healthcare/medicine/health.

The four quotes seem to be at an

inter- and trans- personal level.
Therefore this is a Task A,
presenting us the theme in a socio-
cultural fashion.
 Essay 1: Low 50s
A big claim to make at the
beginning of the essay that is
not backed up throughout the
essay. It already shows a lack of
nuance by using broad
brushstrokes, disregarding the
complexity of the issue.
The rest of this contention has an
acceptable structure. The third
sentence offers further detail to
set up the contention and the
final sentence states the
contention. However, it is not
structure that is the problem
here, it is content. The contention
of this essay is simply that
medicine is important and we
should care about it. This is
mediocrity. The language and
expression is also quite simple
and lacks impetus and
eloquence
Apart from the mediocre
structure of the paragraph, the
content is very shallow. The
example lacks evidence and
analysis. The underlying
argument is also extremely naïve,
it lacks any level of real political,
social, historical or moral analysis.
This argument seems to
interesting, however it is cut
short. The author does not back
up his statement. The notion of
‘human nature’ and its
relationship to how people think
of health should be broken down
further.
Feedback
The structure of this essay is not too bad; however, it tackles the issue at a very
surface level. The arguments are weak, lack any compelling evidence and are
quite childish in the way they are expressed.
For all people medicine is fundamental to how their societies
work in the modern day. Medicine is part of the everyday of most
people’s lives. Whether it be reading about research and how it
affects them, on the internet or taking the drugs they have been
prescribed to make them feel better, it is clear that healthcare and
medicine is very important in current times. Therefore, it is
necessary for all people to try and know as much about medicine
as possible.
Bob Marley was a Rastafarian and people in this community do
not care about medicinal treatment as much as most people do. The example
comes out of
When his career was becoming a force in the world that was nowhere. Placing
changing the way many people thought about things, he died. the argument at
the beginning of
Thus, we can see that someone who could have made society a the paragraph is
poor structure as it
much better place had his life cut short because he did not worry does not allow the
underlying
about the toe infection he had and did not seek medical treatment. argument to be
made clearly.
It is sad that something as small as a toe infection which could
have easily been cured caused the death of a great influencer of
the twentieth century.
It is part of our nature as human beings to want long lives. Thus,
we see everywhere in the world people trying to take care of Huge logical
themselves by being healthy. Different countries have different jump here. How
can the author
forms of medicine, and this proves that all people care about their go to a “thus”
after just one
health, mainly because their nature makes them care about their sentence?
life. I saw this personally with my Grandma who was a doctor.
When she became old, she was constantly taking measures to
keep her health together. I would ask her why she would spend
most of her day in such activities and her response was always
about her purpose in this life being for her children and loved
ones.
To conclude, we can see that medicine plays a vital role in how
our societies exist. We need to be cognizant of our health for our
own sake and this will lead to a happier life for us as individuals
and communities.
 Essay 2: Mid 50s

Medicine acts specifically in relation to the human condition. Humanity is

The contention lacks any
context. The previous just a function of all things considered in the space of human will. This will’s
sentences lack any clarity
and real meaning. What functionality exists apropos to what we see in ourselves, our desires, our
is ‘human will’? How is it
‘intrinsic to humanity’s
wants and our needs. It is then obvious to see that medicine is not only a
existence’? This representation of the human condition as a whole but goes further to become
introduction needs to use
less vague language and intrinsic to humanity’s very existence. Thus, I contend that we should not just
be break down the major
components of the ideas. study medicine but seek to be it as a community as well. It should
encapsulate us and itself in one.

Again, this paragraph

On the notion of self-involvement, it is a commonality of the modern man’s
suffers from a similar collective persona. As a child I spent many an hour in the watching of one of
problem to the intro, none
of the major elements are my favorite films: metropolis. This movie explores the nature of the modern
explained. What is the
‘collective persona’? What experience. Medicine in this experience is not what it has come to be known
is this
‘interconnectedness’? as previously. The age of the enlightenment changed the conceptualization of
How is this all connected
back to the contention.
the collective around medicine, and this was furthered entrenched
The example of the movie throughout the last few hundred years leaving medicine as an individualized
is brought and then just
forgotten about. The idea component in the set of our realities. Fragmented and disjointed from
of how the enlightenment
affected the way people purpose and being, the modern functionality of medicine is drifting from
perceive medicine seems
to be interesting, however why it first existed. None of us can alleviate the inner discontents that the
it is not explained enough
for it to validate the
post-modern simulacra has infused into our reality to see the
argument. interconnectedness.

Further looking at the motifs of this movie we see that it is a plotting of

This paragraph lacks any
tangible explanation.
What are these
intersections. How does
any of this look in the real
world? Where did
immortality come from?
intersectionality of essential thematics. Vertices of the notions are
disregarded as to further accentuate the importance of centrality. This central
intersectionality for us should be how medicine is used for the creation and
maintenance of the species. We are not immortal in the sense of the
individual. The negligible senescence of lobsters and tortoises are this
individual immortality. However, the human condition centered on medicine
has a greater immortality, that is the immortality of the collective persona.

Confucius once said, ‘it is not how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop.’
This phrase highlights the projection of this purpose. Medicine slowly births
from the vertices, leaving its tracks along the way, and when it reaches the
center it cuts its metaphorical umbilical cord to perceive the light of a new
world where it guides the collective to a heightened immortal consciousness.

Feedback
This essay is extremely confusing. At a surface level it looks like the Author might
be saying something very interesting, however when we read deeper, we see
that there is no clear contention and the logical progression is pretty poor. The
expression is extremely verbose as well. Thus for entirely different reasons, this
essay scores quite a similar to the first essay.
 Essay 3: Low 60s

This introduction has Violence is inherent too many systems. A structure that permeates
interesting ideas that
could build a really high violence in the modern day is medicine as it results in most people not
scoring essay. However,
the introduction is a bit having the chance to be properly healed. For us to clearly understand
fumbled and vague.
Structural violence and
this we shall look at disenfranchised people and how medicine relates to
health care need be them. Medicine being a core element of the modern day, having
broken down more. The
relationship between the institutions placed throughout society. Thus, the structural violence that
two should be made
clearer to set up the body medicine carries out is an extremely polarizing one as it is not
paragraphs. There are
grammatical mistakes as something that most people recognize and try to change.
well.

It is unfair what we see today. Healthcare is now just a means of

The first three sentence
are strong. However from
there the rest of the
paragraph becomes both
thematically irrelevant and
structurally incoherent.
The example and evidence
does not clearly relate to
healthcare/medicine.
categorizing classes in society. Structural violence is a form of violence
that is normalized in society because it is so embedded. It is clear that
most healthcare system cause structural violence. Violence has
purveyed many of the social structures in society because we no longer
have a sense of identity and understanding of the rights that belong to
us. For this reason we see people everywhere facing the embedded
violences of society. Sometimes homeless people have no where to go,
other times women are not taken as seriously, racism prevents many
people from living out their dreams. These structures have become a
means of privileged people enjoying life at the expense of those are
exploited. We must consider and ponder on the nature of these types of
structural violences.

Healthcare should be a right to all people. Those people who do not have
Again, the first two
sentences are strong. this healthcare are disadvantaged in life. How can anyone become
However, from there the
links to the theme are
better and move forward if there are barriers stopping them from
non-apparent. The becoming who they need to be. Their destiny and desires in life are
example is completely
irrelevant and healthcare unattainable as there are huge impediments that stop them along the
seems to just be
shoehorned in because it way. These and legitimized and normalized in society and thus are
is the theme.
difficult to fight against for most people. A clear example of this are
people who are victims of the racism of the drug war in America and
were sent to jail where there are no opportunities and the healthcare is
not great.

Thus, it is necessary for us to see these forms of violence built into

society and work against them as many of them influence and affect
healthcare and many other things in society, creating many forms of
injustice.

Feedback
This essay has heaps of potential; however, it falls very short as it seems the
author spent no time planning. There are two major flaws in this essay: 1. The
logical progression is terrible. 2. The paragraphs do not stay on theme enough.
There are too many tangents. If the author took some time to plan and clearly
show how healthcare functions as a form of structural violence, the essay could
have gone up 10-15 marks.
Essay 4: Low/Mid 70s
Overall a good idea.
However, there needs to
be more context to build
the foundation for the
introduction to the ideas
of eminence and evidence
based medicine. This will
allow the contention and
arguments to have more
of an effect. In addition to
this there are a few
grammatical mistakes
Good paragraph, however
for it to reach higher levels,
there needs to be two
major adjustments. Firstly,
the political and economic
phenomena need to be
explored in a more
constructive and analytic
fashion. “Where do these
issues stem from?” is the
key question.
This is a strong paragraph,
its major weakness is that
it is too short. Both the
argument and the
contention need to further
be developed and
analysed.”
For most of us Medicine is something we come across every day.
However, very few of us know the systems of knowledge and
methods of research that has resulted in medicine looking like how it
does in the modern day. Historically majority of medicinal research
has been eminence based, however lately it has shifted to a more
evidence-based methodology. Thus, by showing the evolution of
medicine along this trajectory and looking at the elements of
different methodologies I will aim to prove that the general direction
that the field of medicine is heading in is one that best fits the
outcomes it desires.
Eminence based medicine has long been central to the system of
medical research. It refers to clinical decision making that is heavily
reliant on the opinions of prominent medical and health
practitioners in the specific area. Historically due to the high level of
asymmetry in information in relation to health, many people were
happy putting absolute trust in those individuals who were well
known and had prestigious positions. However, this form of progress
in the knowledge base of medicine is inherently problematic as it is
built on basic logical fallacies of appealing to authority. In addition to
this, there is also the plausible reality of medicinal research being
plagued by political and economic influences. In the case of
eminence-based medicine this can happen quite easily with no one
taking notice. A prime example of this is Thalidomide. Thalidomide
was built primarily on eminence based and when people started to
notice problems around it, pharmaceutical companies paid to keep
central figures in the medical community talking positively about it.
It was only after the many extremely harmful consequences of
Thalidomide became obvious that people disavowed it. Thus, further
clarifying the way that eminence-based medicine is not as factually
secure and easily politicized and taken advantage of.
However, in current times medical research is clearly shifting
towards evidence-based procedures. Evidence based medicine
influences more than just the space of research, it goes further out
into the way medicine is practiced as a whole. This is because
evidence based not only uses critically appraised and peer reviewed
medical processes, it also studies patient values and preferences in
order to make the best decisions. This extra layering of context is
important as it has allowed for medicine to become something more
accessible for historically disenfranchised communities. A clear
example of this is the development of medical diagnostic procedures
that are specific to indigenous people. This procedure has an extra
layer of understanding as they have to take into account the
historical context pertaining to the relationship indigenous people
have had to hospitals and Western medicine.
Essay 4: Low/Mid 70s
... continued

Thus, we can see through the exploration of one of the major ways
medical practice has evolved, that the trajectory that modern day
medicine is taking is a positive one, and if this progress carries on
many of the problems that have historically plagued medical practice
will eventually disappear.

Feedback
All things considered, this is a pretty strong essay. There is a clear contention. The
logical progression and structure are neat. It shows the author is well read and
empathetic. However, it falls short in a few things that prevent it from being an
amazing essay; 1. The expression is very basic. and 2. When it starts to talk about
politics the explanations are very shallow
Essay 5: 80+

In the current politico-economic landscape of most nation states, health and healthcare are
contentious issues. It is this very discourse that lead me to both research the realities and
explore my own values and beliefs in relation to the notion of health. This surveying of my
mental landscape led me to one unwavering belief: “healthcare is not a privilege, it is a
right.” When this statement became core to the way I understand the human condition, I
started to question why is it that the societies I live in have come to embody the opposite of
this belief in practice. This line of questioning led me to understand one of the most
fundamental mechanisms in the way modern societies function. This mechanism is the
domineering politico-economic ideology: Neoliberalism. Through observation we can see it
functions to commodify most aspects of the human experience and does so very drastically
in the case of healthcare.

The current dominant perception on the notion of healthcare is to simply see it as medicine.
This reductive narrative on the nature of healthcare disregards the complexity and multi-
factorial reality of healthcare. Thus, for us to truly understand the change in how healthcare
has functioned we must first understand some of its core components. Currently, healthcare
exists as a set of systems and structures that function to convey generally curative
procedures to members of the population that are deemed viable. These systems and
structures function in the tangible through institutions and bureaucracy, and procedures
and methods that are often perceived as apolitical are backbone of this reality. However, we
can ask ourselves in the words of Michel Fouccault, “ Are there truly any apolitical facts?”
and come to the answer that any realm of inquiry and thought exists in relation to the
knowledge production in and around it, which is clearly a political reality.

Coming to the realization that healthcare has always been a deeply politicized notion, we
must understand the historical evolution of its political positionality to understand where it
is situated in the current context. Roughly speaking medicine and healthcare used to be
more fragmented in most pre-industrialized societies, where individuals in communities
would use the tools they had to best help people with diseases. However, with the scientific
and industrial revolution, medicine and healthcare as a practice became more systematized.
It is not this systemization that is the cause of healthcare no longer being viewed as a right.
Rather it is the fact that this process of systemization happened both simultaneously and
together with the development of capitalism, and in recent times Neoliberalism. Thus, we
see that this systemization builds procedures and institutions that function with money
central to its purpose.

This commodification acts to remove access to healthcare as a right and rather establish it as
privilege only afforded to those who can afford it. A very clear example of this is the
defunding of hospitals in rural areas, especially areas inhabited by indigenous people. Since
these hospitals are generally unprofitable, they are deemed unnecessary. It is clear to see
from this that healthcare has become deeply commoditized, to the point where in some
countries such as America it is almost completely privatized. Taking something that has
historically been seen as a right and stripping it from those who need it most.
Essay 5: 80+
... continued

To conclude, I would like to re-emphasize my central belief that healthcare should be seen
as a right and not a privilege and implore you to resist the politico-economic ideologies that
have resulted in society believing that it is a privilege.

Feedback
For the time allocated, this essay is pretty much perfect. It is deep, clear, logical,
empathetic and compelling.
Notes:
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