Likely to include: Stand out moments of honesty, emotional

intensity and insight into the character of the person, services the
emotional memory, depth of character and the arc of the narrative
within the monologue.
Might include: Moments which may help to serve narrative
and/or the character, however aren’t as poignant or are too long to
be condensed and used.
Will not include: Moments that are irrelevant and don’t add any
dynamic to the overall message, plot and that are excessively long
and uninteresting to the audience.
It feels odd when I come back now, (pause) it’s odd, odd, it just feels odd. know what I
mean? (pause.)

Ahh (groaning holding back/ stretching) mwah (kiss on the forehead and hug.) Right I’ll put
the kettle on.

Yes, do you mind if there is kettle noise or.. ?

It felt very long (pause) I think (pause) the (pause) when it came to the third lockdown
(pause) that was the one that hurt the most.

(pause) (almost listing) I think (pause) it was the fact that I knew that (pause) I would have
to stay indoors even more (pause) I knew I wouldn’t be able to earn any money. Umm the
boredom (pause) tedium, the repetition, everyday just becoming the same, no Friday stops
meaning anything, weekends stop meaning anything.

Umm (pause) and I think when you have that much free time, it’s quite hard to appreciate
free time because you haven’t got anything to compare it to.
(pause) (running water) i.e. work

Umm (pause) tried to keep a positive attitude, each day tried to achieve something, so just
set myself a few tasks each day, (pause) tried not to dwell on it too much. I thought that
actually a lot of people had it a lot worse than I did, some people were dying, some people
in hospital, I felt sorry for nhs staff, I was very glad that I wasn’t in an ICU, treating people.
Have you ever used living day to day before in your life? Were there any other times where
you thought I’ll live day by day?
Yes (pause) yes I have
I think it was when I left law (pause) when I was unsure of what I was going to do next
(starts walking to the sink) and I was slightly lost as to what I was going to do after that.
(Ignites stove to place kettle on top)
(Inhale) I did it for 25 years, I felt I could no longer do it I literally felt that I could no longer
(pause) force myself to do something that I didn’t really want to do. (pause) and before I
was just forcing myself to do it and then actually I thought actually I can no longer do this.

I think each year I said right I’ll just do one more year (pause) and then just found, then it
was another year (pause) and then sometimes I’d be driving into work thinking how many
years have I done this now? (pause) And then in the end of the day I think I almost just was
forced out of it I found it very difficult to make a decision to sensibly leave it, so I was almost
forced out of it.
(pause)
I did, I think because I was so tired by it all, I think I just needed a rest (pause) (sniff) umm a
breather, collect myself and then start again.

Yeah
So, really I just did a holding job, which was just (pause) fairly mindless, fairly easy, driving
cars.
No, no I was just (exhale) treading water I believe. But I enjoyed it none the less. I’d already,
I had always wanted to (pause) I’d always had a hankering to do something like long
distance lorry driving and just driving, driving, driving for hours and hours, and just travelling
around.
What did you do whilst travelling around? Did you listen to music? Did you just think?  
I did do a lot of listening to music if sometimes I did have another driver I’d just chat to them
and we’d just talk about all sorts of things.
What sort of music would you listen to?
Generally the radio, if somebody had left a CD in the car I’d listen to a CD, but I generally
brought a CD with me or listened to an ipod, just radio normally, radio 2 normally.
I used to listen to pop master everyday 10:30 if I could, pop master, pop quiz.
(pause)
So, before you went into law, when you were making decisions when you were my age
about what you wanted to do as a career did you immediently think of law?
No, (pause) initially I was going to do psychology, I was thinking of becoming a Psychologist.
So, I chose that as one of my, I chose that as my university thing, erm (pause) but I was
talked out of it by a number of teachers. (pause) that I respected.
So did you listen to them over yourself?
Yeah , at least two of them, said no don’t do that, do something else.
What do you think the reasoning was? Why did they say that?
I think at the time I was thinking of going into advertising and one person said you’d hate
advertising (pause) because it’s not very principled, it’s not, it’s sort of very much (pause)
conning people to a certain extent, it’s a bit half nosed (pause) someone else said, it’s the
wrong decision for you, (yawn) you’d be far off better doing something else. (pause) that
was a reverend, a reverend said that.
Why do you think you listened to other people?
I supposed I respected them really. (pause)
When you were really young what did you want to do?
(pause) I never really thought about it really, I was always outdoors and I was always
building things, making things, so my parents always thought I might go the other way and
be like a carpenter or a, do something with my hands. (pause) And I think for a while they
though I was a bit stupid because I didn’t say very much for years, I didn’t say anything.
But you were content?
Yeah, so they thought I was a bit simple I think (slight pause) (laugh, big cheeky smile)
But yes I could make things with my hands, early on.
Do you think in the future you might use that in a career or as a hobby?
I’ve used it in that, I, before what children I, we used to buy houses and then I’d do them up,
so I’ve built a whole kitchen, so I did things like that and put in wood I’ve built all the units, I
built all the doors, I used to build all the panels, when you’ve got a panel that’s hampered
like that, I used to do all of those. Ermm so I’ve made doors like that, that have to be shaved
to be shaped.
Do you look fondly back on those times?
I did enjoy it, but it was quite time consuming. (pause) and in a way like most things
in my life I said right, well I can do that so I moved on to the next thing.
So you always reach for something?
I think I’ve always said well right well I’ll try to get as good as I can get at that thing and then
I’ll move onto the next thing, that’s what I did at skiing, really. I thought I’m quite a good
skiier now, I don’t think I’ll get any better now. So I sort of stopped doing skiing, same with
woodwork to some extent.
What do you think will be the next thing?
Umm (pause) what career wise or next hobby.
Whatever you will reach for next.
I wouldn’t mind doing off-road biking actually, trials biking, going up steep hills, over
branches, all that sort of stuff, riding along with your feet on the pegs, so you’re not sat on
the seat. Doing a little bit of orienteering aswell, where you go across field to get
somewhere, so you’ve got a map, so you’re riding along looking at a map.
What is it that you like about motorbiking?
(pause) I think the adventure of it, I think A you’re outdoors, the adventure of it, it’s exciting
(pause) I think I quite like the adrenaline buzz, umm I think that’s why I like windsurfing
really because again it was outdoors.
Do you like the freedom of it?
Yes (yawn) yeah so when I was your kind of age I was on a (yawn) a moped tearing around
Dartmoor going through rivers and streams and forestry commission land, out on my own in
the middle of nowhere.
In a scooter or a motorbike?
I had an off-road it was only 50 cc; it wasn’t very powerful but it was an offroad bike with
knobbly tires.
Did you go by yourself?
Nearly always by myself, couple of times I took Jo Longstale but she was just on a moped
thing so she couldn’t really go, off road like I could go.
Would you prefer going by yourself?
Not necessarily but erm at that time I didn’t know anybody else that had an offroad bike I
suppose.
Do you think you would be content the rest of your life riding motorbikes?
No, I think I’ll do other things as well but I’m not quite sure what those things are at the
moment.
Are you just going to try and figure it out when it comes to you?
I mean I’d like to do more surfing, get better at surfing, maybe get a shorter board.
Erm because you can still surf as long as your reasonably fit you can surf probably until
you’re seventy. Wind surfing is a bit harder, starts to hurt your arms and shoulders and you
haven’t got the same “arrgh” I’m not that excited anymore unless I’m going abroad.
So are you excited for after the pandemic?
Umm well I think it can only get better, touch wood. I’m looking forward to going into a pub
garden on the 12th next week.
(pause) so I’m going to go with Will and maybe the new flatmate, sit in a pub garden in
Exmouth, it’ll be nice to book a festival or something, I think that’s going to be a bit dodgy
this year, the government made an announcement that they are suspending all flights from
the start of June.
Do you think that a lot of people are suffering in lockdown mentally?
Absolutely umm, I think most people have always had exactly what they want, so you know
“Prince Phillip’s” died today, they were saying when he was married in 1947 so after the
second world war, nearly every- most people didn’t have a car, didn’t have a television,
we’ve all got all these things, we’re really, we’re really kinda consumerist and kinda wealthy
really. Or at least, in those days it was (exhale) umm osterity after the second world war,
lots of osteriousty, rationing you couldn’t just go and get salmon and olives and I mean they
weren’t there anyway but there was a lot of osterity, people didn’t have all these things and
they made good. People have had it too good for too longin the capitalist world, and now
they have to suffer a bit, they just don’t know how to do it really (pause) I think.
I think we’re all spoilt (laugh) We’re totally spoilt and we’ve taken everything for granted, so
I suppose the things it might remind us of our don’t take things for granted. And umm some
people have checked on their neighbours, some people have a neighbourhood attitude to
things. Some people have offered to get older people’s shopping and all of that sort of stuff.
Some people have helped people who have shielded. People have begun to realise exactly
what’s important in life, which is family, maybe being a bit nicer to each other.
Have you always thought that family was important?
Yeah, absolutely yeah (pause) and I think you know trying not to be too lonely and checking
up on people who might be living in a house by themselves.
What was it like when you started your own family?
(exhale) Umm I was very excited about it yeah, it was very exciting, scary as well, I suppose
it puts pressure on you in terms of earning money. You think right I’ve got to look after this
person. I’ve got to keep a house over their head, but I try not to think about it too much.
Is that partly why you felt so trapped into doing law?
I think yeah, it was hard for me to move into something else and immediately earn money.
When did you reach the boiling point of doing law?
Umm I had a number of times where I thought I should give this up but I suppose 2013 was
when it really, Spring, Easter of 2013 was when I thought I really shouldn’t be doing this
anymore I should be doing something else.
What made you think that?
I was getting very stressed, anxious, I didn’t want to go into work err stopped enjoying
weekends, got depressed I suppose.
(pause)
How long did that last?
Errm I think it was building up to that for a number of years, (sniff)
Who helped you or didn’t help you who sould have?
(laugh) My wife certainly didn’t help me really, yeah, (pause) I think she was part of the
problem rather than the solution, yes, ermm, ermm, no I don’t think she did help me really.
Are you annoyed that no one helped you?
No not really, no not really, I don’t feel angry about it, but I don’t feel, I just feel (pause) that
(exhale) (pause) I was slightly lost and I didn’t know how to make my life better, so I just
carried on, I just carried on, that’s what people do I think.
Did you feel slightly robbed of those years?
No, I had about ten years, I had ten good years and then the last few years maybe more was
unhappy, but lots of people were unhappy in that same firm, the firm was going bad really
as well.
The firm was starting to go down, they started to run out of money and money became a
big issue and they dumped down on all the staff, they were under pressure because they
were gonna fold, the pressure cascades down onto the staff.
So you’re sort of beating staff up emotionally, in order to try and get more money out of
them really, they call it sweating the assets, sweating the assets of the business.
So after all that did you adopt any different philosophy about life?
I think I realised that you don’t, everyone tells you you need all these things, you don’t need
them. (leans forward, laughs) You just don’t need them (little chuckle) And if you cut out
most of them you realise that actually you don’t need much to be happy and all the trinkets
in the world don’t make up for the fact that Monday to Friday or however long it is you
work, if you’re miserable Monday to Friday it doesn’t matter the fact that you’re going back
to a fancy car or a huge house (inhale) or having holidays abroad, cause you’re not able to
enjoy them anymore because you’re miserable. (pause) so all you’re doing is being unhappy
in comfort, ultimately.
You don’t need these things, I mean you get some, you hear stories you know of
people, lawyers and they’re earning phenomenal amounts of money, buying fantastic flats
and they’re never in that flat in London because they’re working, they don’t even see the
flat that they’re paying ridiculous rent for. Or a ridiculous mortgage for.
They don’t drive the sportscar because they’re actually in the office, they’ve got a beautiful
sports car outside that just sits there. They never get in it because their all they do is work.
Did you encounter a lot of people like that?
I saw a bit of it, yeah, in London, I saw a bit of it.
Do you think they realised or do you think they were blinded by the money?
I think they lose their priorities, they allow work to take them over, they let everybody
down, so things like, it happens quite a lot with the younger people, so you’ve got a 25 year
old their friend’s gonna meet them on a Friday night and they say Oh I’ve got to work long
so turn up at six, so they go to reception and they’re sat at the office at six and they’re still
sat there at seven and they go where the hell are you I’ve sat here for an hour, they say oh
I’ll be just a bit longer, just a bit longer.
How would you descibe yourself ?
Tired, emotionally tired. (slight chuckle) tired. I suppose (exhale) I suppose I’ve always been
relatively laid back on the whole, generally, I’d like to think that I was quite kind, ermm I
have been a bit naïve in my marriage, I think , I perhaps comprimised too much umm but I
suppose now (breath) I more just ( pause) accepting that people are what they are.
(pause) And that you have to go along with it really , I suppose you tend to think that
everyone roughly thinks the same as you (breath) and that people will do the same thing in
the same situation as you get older you realise that actually they don’t and that people are
very different (sniff) and also a lot of people are extremely false (pause) so, they’re saying
one thing in to your face and actually they think completely different.
Do you ever feel quite betrayed by people?
I do, yeah (pause) I think on the whole most people will let you down, to be honest. (chuckle
more of an exhale) I do (chuckle) I do. I don’t think that many people are, well I think it’s
more a modern thing, the more modern world is that people just live for themselves,
regardless of the consequences, so very egotistical, very self centred and it’s very rare to
find somebody that’s actually quite kind, supportive and wants to help people, selflessly, I
don’t think there’s that much of that around, and the people that are like that are generally
like care workers that work for charities and they’re in that job because in a way you’ve got
to be slightly selfless because you’re working really hard and you’re not getting paid very
well, so I think, I think that it’s odd that society doesn’t reward people like that and yet they
reward somebody that is vertically gambling with money and is making loads of money,
why, I don’t get it and I don’t understand why they reward a footballer who can kick a ball
around, yes I can see it’s a short career but why are some of these people getting paid
hundreds of
thousands of pounds a week, for kicking a football about and yet someone else who’s a
neurosurgeon who’s got all these amazing skills isn’t getting paid a hundred thousand
pounds a week.
Do you think society’s got it’s priorities wrong?
I do, I think it has gone wrong and I think that capitalism has gone very wrong, and I think
that capitalism can only work if you, if you , yes I don’t think that pure socialism works-I
don’t think it does, I don’t think it works to say, everyone’s going to go down to the same
factory and get paid the same wage (inhale) Umm… that doesn’t work, but I certainly don’t
think that capitalism, it’s got to the point now where it doesn’t work either because it
doesn’t carry enough people. (pause) There are too many people left behind, there are too
many people (inhale) who can’t afford to live (breath/pause) And then you’d say well
actually if capitalism is working, we can afford to help those people who are on low incomes
but actually we’re saying no you’re on your own now (inhale and exhale) there is a well fair
state but you make it so difficult that people can hardly claim it , what you can claim is
meaningless.
Do you think that the Poor will get poorer and the rich will get richer?
Right now, yes I do unless we change the system, yes.
Do you think the system will change?
(sips tea) I think there’s more social unrest, it’s only because of social unrest they’ll change
it. Because those people with loads of money don’t give a shit. (pause) they don’t give a shit.
A flying f. (breath) umm and I think there are too many politicians who literally just don’t
want to make the world a better place they just want to make themselves more money
(pause) I think there are politicians who want to make it a better place but I don’t think they
last long and I think that they leave. (pause)
How would you change it if you could?
Christ that’s a big one (laughter)
Oh wow
If there was just one thing that you could say and everyone would listen?
Bloody hell (laughter)
(inhale) I think I’d encourage people to maybe somewhere along the line, I don’t know how
you would do it to stop thinking that the internet and social media is everything and start
actually just living life again and stop having such a virtual life and actually start living life
again.
And limiting the amount of time you spend on these gadgets, because I think it cocks you up
eventually, I think it wrecks your life and you know these people who, that Flack woman
who killed herself, she killed herself because she’s looking at these things and its making
herself really miserable, you should actually just say well actually I’ll spend ten minutes a
day just catching up with people, but you don’t need
to, you know I was brought up in a generation where I didn’t have a phone, I didn’t have a
mobile phone. We had one phone in the house (breath) if I went out for a cycle ride for four
hours or something I’d have ten p in my pocket to make a phonecall in a phone book if I had
a puncture or I got lost, something like that, you don’t need all these things, it’s just not
necessary.
From being a child in that generation and experiencing that when you see children now
using it, it’s a different world and it’s strange?
I do, I can’t relate to it at all, and I don’t think it’s for the best .
When you saw your own children with devices did you feel scared for us?
I think it can run out of control and you can get addicted to it quite quickly.
And I think it can make you depressed. And yunno some people are even killing themselves
cause their cyberbullying and their in a room and their parents don’t really know what’s
going on and (breath) in the old days you couldn’t really reach somebody, you could have a
horrible time at work or a horrible time at school and then go home and then you’re safe,
whereas now people can reach you in their bedroom, they can send you horrible, horrible
things one after another, beat you up effectively in your own bedroom, virtually beat you
up, make you miserable, you’d have to knock on somebody’s door and say can I speak to
Peter, but you know you wouldn’t do that so (pause).
Do you think the internet is disconnecting families and people from the real world?
I do, I think it’s created probably more problems than it’s solved. And I think that’s lack of
control. (deep breath)
Umm And people are abusing it and it’s the biggest source of fraud now, so it’s being
misused, the most fraud that’s occurring is on the internet, and people doing transfers of
money, something they call ermm romance fraud, where you’re getting a woman who’s sort
of whoever it might be, woman who’s say sixty and then there’s somebody who’s say forty
who’s saying I really love you and actually can you just transfer me some money, so they
work them and then say send me twenty thousand pounds, these people are sending them
twenty thousand pounds.
And they know they hardly know that person, and they’re doing it because they’re lonely I
think. People are lonely. I think, I think, yeah, unfortunately I think that the internet has
slightly just stopped people from meeting in real terms and talking to each other, they’re
just texting each other.
(pause)
And the same with the internet dating thing, in the old days people met through work or
they went to a party, or they went to a coffee bar and now they’re sending each other CVs
ultimately and then maybe meeting up and I also think some people aren’t valuing
relationships because they’re just thinking well it’s almost like shopping on amazon for a
girlfriend you know. And you’ll see what they’re like on Friday night and then you don’t like
them so you go out with someone else, it’s almost become like
retail, getting a girlfriends like retailing, buying something .
Having another possession .
So rather than actually relating to somebody they’re just thinking, this is fun, this is exciting,
and almost getting addicted to it, so I think the addiction thing is what these devices tend to
encourage and the gambling ones in particular that’s really dangerous.
I think it’s just because it’s so accessible and so easy that, before you know to gamble you
had to go down to the book makers in the highstreets, walk in, so it had to be open in the
first place, whereas now you can gamble at four in the morning, I think that’s the danger of
it, so if you are out of control, you can destroy your life quite quickly really, if you’re out of
control and it does become addictive.
Do you think that your grounded in the sense that you like natural things like surfing and
motorbiking you appreciate nature?
Yeah, that’s always been the things, yeah, that’s always been the things that I’ve been
excited about. Ummm I suppose just as you get older you get slightly less excited by things
because you’ve done a lot of them- things, that you want to do.
(pause) umm
Do you think that the excitement ever runs out and you think I’ve done everything that I
want to do?
I think for some people it does , I think for some people it does, for others no, ermmm
(pause) I mean even somebody like Tom Jones, so he’s eighty years old, he’s still gets
excited about doing music, I think if you enjoy what you do whatever it is that you’ve
decided, it doesn’t have to be, obviously at eighty you’re retired really so he’s not doing it
for money, just as the lead singer of chic you know he hasn’t done it for money, for thirty
years, he’s doing it – he’s only turning up because he likes to do it he’s doing it cause he
wants to do it.
(pause) ummm (pause)
I’m doing motorcycle instruction, I’m not earning I mean I do need to earn money but I’m
not earning that much money, but it’s not really (pause) desparately hard work and I’m
happy doing it and it’s sort of worthwhile, I mean I don’t know if it will be worthwhile in ten
years time, but right now , it’s fine (yawn) yeah (pause) umm I suppose in ten years time I’m
sixty five anyway so I’ll be heading towards retirement.  
After being in both extremes, from earning lots of money but hating what you’re doing and
not earning much money nut really enjoying what you’re doing which one would you pick?
I would tell anybody to do something that you enjoy (pause) yes, you always have a day
where it’s not so much fun, but if you really yunno ultimately, I didn’t want to be in an office
really errmmm I think if you force yourself to do something you don’t particularly want to
do for long enough you will get quite miserable about it.
Ermm and money isn’t everything, it’s not.