My Box of Chocolate: A narrative of my life

By Marissa Mallahan

3/21/201
ARIZONA STATE UNIVERSITY
OGL 482
INTSRUCTOR ROBERT WILSON
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My Box of Chocolate

My Box of Chocolate

In the movie 'Forrest Grump' the main character gave his insight into the quote about life.

Forest states, "My momma always said – Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what

you are going to get …. I admit that if you are getting a box of chocolates gifted to you, yes, you

will know what is inside, life is a gift after all, so it makes sense." I agree with Forrest Gump that

life is a gift; some parts are sweet, soft, and very delicious. While other parts of one's life might

be complex and crunchy, those are the rough patches in my work. The story presented within this

paper is a personal narrative of my own life. Thus far, the life I have lived has not been too

glamorous, sweet, and soft at times, while crunchy and rough at other times. Nevertheless, it is a

gift.

Mother’s Gift
Early Age

I was born July 27, 1983, in Phoenix, Arizona, state of the rising sun. My mother was

single when she gave birth to me, even more, so she was just a baby herself, at the age of only

15-years old. My biological father nor his side of the family wanted to be in the picture at the

time. However, as the old proverb goes, "it takes a village to raise a child." My mother was

fortunate to be surrounded by the love of her side of the family. My mom's small village

included my grandmother, aunt along with other members of the family. The assistance and

involvement of my mother's family allowed her to complete high school while raising a young

child.

To understand my life, you must understand the strength I received from individuals like

my grandmother, mother, and aunts.

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My Box of Chocolate
My Grandmother

My grandmother was a single mother herself, a hard worker, and consistently placed her

family first. There have been many lessons that I have taken from my grandmother that

exemplified her strength and grace. My grandmother taught me at a young age to be strong,

determined, and spiritual. We were remarkably close when I was little, and my fondest memories

of her are every night we would recite 'The Lord's Prayer,' something that I still do every night at

the age of 37-years old. My grandmother taught me at a young age about commitment and

determination. I remember her car had broken down one day. Unable to find transportation and

buses not running until the morning to make her shift, she decided to walk to work. She did not

live close to work. She was not going to let anything stop her from providing for her family.

My Aunt

My aunt was always so compassionate, loving, enjoyed cooking, and has a pure heart.

She would open her door to anyone hungry and always put everyone else first before herself. She

still does to this day, and she is 71 years old. She used to babysit me as a small child, and every

morning she would make me my favorite meal: Cream of Wheat with cinnamon. My aunt also

loves animals, to the point where she would take in stray dogs. It is from my aunt that I gain an

appreciation and love for animals. My aunt also taught me generosity, kindness, and sincerity.

With my grandmother and my aunt being so involved in my life as a child, I would say I was

brought up in a matriarch household.

My Mother

My mother, although a teenager and kid in her own right, went to school and work. My

mother always made sure I had everything I needed. I never went without. My first marriage was

at the age of eighteen to a young Marine. A byproduct of being in a military household is that
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My Box of Chocolate
you are required to travel around the world. One of my best memories as a child was living in

Japan. The sights, scenes, and culture were fascinating to me as Mexican American. Through the

constant moving around, I learned how to be adaptive to constant change, have social skills

while meeting new people, and not be afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone. As a military

child and constantly moving, I had plenty of situations where I was required to navigate the new

school's ins and outs, new base community, and make new friends. I was shy when I was

younger but soon learned that I would not get me anywhere if I did not ask questions. I had to

learn how to speak up.

Stepfather

The relationship between and stepdad never matured in anything dynamical, as a great

television family drama would have us believe. I knew from early on that I was nothing to him

more than just the "step-child." There were times where he would have to babysit me while my

mom worked. We just did our separate things like the United States and Russia living in the

same household during those times. I would stay in my room, and I had to learn how to do things

for myself since I felt that I could not rely on him to provide what I needed, even the necessities

that any child requires. I do remember being afraid of him. I was always on guard, or eggshells,

and did not trust easily around him. When I was alone with him, I had to, in a sense, fend for

myself. One of my many memories of living under my stepdad's roof was while I was four years

old. My mom had left me in his care, and while he was sleeping, I got dressed, and I somehow

snuck out the front. I somehow managed to navigate the front door, cross a major street, and

make it into my daycare in one piece. My stepdad did not even notice I was gone.

I still, to this day, remember my outfit and the shoes I wore (I had my mom's cowboy

boots on). Early on, I was daring and fearless. I also had to learn how to be creative with my
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My Box of Chocolate
time, stay busy, and I had to have a big imagination to allow time to pass while I was in his care.

Since we traveled so much, I did not get to see my grandmother or family as often; I did get sad

from time to time and felt lonely since I was so used to always having someone around me, such

as my cousins and aunts. My mom had my sister, and things turned for the worse between my

stepdad and me.

Crunchy Times with a Bit Sweet

After mom got a divorced from my then stepdad we moved back in with my grandmother, to

give my mother the time need to back on her feet. The divorce was a significant turning point in

my life - as we had to move back into a household consisting of my grandmother, aunts, and

their children. We were all cramped up in a one-bathroom apartment. However, I do remember

being happy to be back home and surrounded by family.

It was not until I was 10-yers old that I started inquiring about my biological father and

wanting the meet him in person. However, my mother felt that the idea of meeting my biological

father was a bad one, but I felt I had the right to see. After some time, my mother caved in and

decided to allow me to started communicating father. The initial communication was very

dysfunctional. My father would always schedule a time to meet; however, he never follows

through on showing up. My father's failure to follow through was the first time in my life that I

experience rejection.

The reluctance of my father to wanting to meet also led to self-doubt on whether I was

good enough. One memory that stands out was when I wrote a letter to my dad and asked him

several questions: Why did he not want to meet me? Why did he not ever try to see me when I

was little? However, he never wrote back. However, years later when we finally met, I asked him
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My Box of Chocolate
directly the letter I had written. It was not until I was a teenager did that, he finally answers I was

seeking at time. By that time, he was married to my mom, and my little brother was on the way

My Biological Father

The marriage between my mom and dad resulted in my rebellion, which carried

throughout my teen years. During this period in my Life, I was resentful towards my dad and

always gave him grief. At the time, I felt it was in my right because I was so hurt, and instead of

talking about it, I held it in. However, I also sought constructive ways to use the anger and

resentment that I had. One outlet I had was school sports. I was incredibly involved in sports

growing up; my favorite sports were cheerleading, track, and soccer. I played these sports until I

got into high school. I was always doing something during my childhood throughout my teens. I

was always attending family functions, sporting events, hanging out with friends. I was never

sitting at home on weekends or during the week. After I learned to drive and got my driver's

license, I was never home.

One side effect of being licensed drive was that my mom and dad made me get my first

paying job at fifteen years and seven months. For my first employment, I work for a

telemarketing company in Phoenix, where I worked evening hours after school. The lessons that

I learned from my first job were responsibility and the value of a dollar. I had to use my money

to buy my clothes, use school lunch money, gas money, and buy my hygiene items. It also taught

me to work hard for my money, and I had the freedom to buy what I wanted, not having to ask

my parents for money.

Adult Life

After graduating high school, I got married at the age of eighteen. By the time I reach the

age of twenty-three, I two children of my own. My two daughters' names are Jaelyn, 14, and
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My Box of Chocolate
Ava, 12. My children's father and I were married for ten years until we decided to file for a

divorce. During our marriage, I started to see flaws and red flags within him. However, I failed

to acknowledge the warning signs. My divorce at the age of twenty-nine was another turning

point in my Life. I realized that I was also immature, stubborn, ignorant, dependent, and meek

during my marriage. By the end of my divorce, I was a whole different person. I was more

confident, fierce, and independent. I wanted to live Life on my terms.

The Joy of Great Chocolate

My marriage was not the greatest, and there were many struggles that I had to endure

while being married. Some of the mental struggles and thugs and war still exist today between

my ex-husband and me. However, my two beautiful daughters are my box of chocolate gifted to

me, and I love being a mom. Being a mom is a life-changing moment. You never know what

love is until you have children. They bring me so much joy, happiness, and understanding of

what unconditional love means. Also, being a mother has brought fear, courage, and

vulnerability. It has also shown my shortcomings. Today, I work hard to complete my bachelor's

in leadership from Arizona State University. I have been a recruiter in the healthcare industry for

over ten years.

Conclusion

My story is not finished being written, and my journey is ongoing. The trip down

memory lane in writing this narrative story of my life was revealing. Taking stock of the lessons

that I learned over the years through life experience and how they have influenced who I am

today. My family is my everything, and my daughters are my joy and guiding light of becoming

a better parent and individual. I take each day with grace, thanksgiving and strive for a brighter
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My Box of Chocolate
tomorrow. Because my box of chocolate is a gift, and real chocolate will make you cry, crunch,

and smile at its sweetness.