MILLSAPS 1

Emily Millsaps

Mrs. Litle

ENG121001

28 February 2021

Paper 1 Reflection

General Comments Regarding the Entire Paper:

1. I think I did a good job describing my dad and where he came from. I also think I did a

good job describing his personality and how it made him so important. I am proud I was

able to put that in my paper, so people got a general feel of who he was.

2. A major issue that I saw you pointed out was that my statements were unclear, and I’m

not surprised a bit. When I try to collect my thoughts to put them on paper my mind is all

over the place and its hard for me to focus on one specific part of my paper, so I end up

forgetting to add important information in. I think I could work on this by working little

by little on my future papers so that I do not get confused and mixed up in the process of

writing.

3. I think if I did not have as many distractions and my mind would slow down a bit that I

would have done much better on my paper. Also, if I would have slowed down and went

over it a few times I may have been able to catch my mistakes. I will make sure for future

papers to check my work more than twice.

Comments within the Essay:

1. I rushed my paragraphs and split one topic into two. They might be problematic because

whoever is reading my paper may get confused from my jumping back and forth. I think I
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could have avoided that problem by listing what I wanted to talk about before I wrote the

paper and if I was more organized going into it.

2. Describing how my dad was significant was another problem I had. I know he was

significant but bringing the words from my head to paper seem to be where I struggle. If I

really put thought into how I was going to word it, it might have come out better in the

end.

3. My introduction needed to be more developed. I think the introduction is the hardest part

of the paper for me. That and the thesis statement. I think maybe if I asked for help more

often in understanding things that I would be able to produce a better paper.

Sentence Level Errors:

1. I used a semi colon (connects two sentences) for my title when I should have just used a

colon. Rewritten the correct way it would be Darrell: Small Town Appalachian Man.

2. Sentence Fragment- the expression of a full thought is lacking because the subject or verb

is missing. Eight pounds two ounces and a full head of hair was my original sentence. I

should have said something like Darrell was born at eight pounds two ounces and had a

head full of hair.

3. Comma Splice- Joining two complete sentences with a comma without an appropriate

word joining them. He was the greatest man Ive ever known, he was my dad was the

sentence I had with a comma splice. I think the fixed version of this sentence would be as

follows. He was the greatest man Ive ever known; he was my dad.

4. I used the word you a few times throughout my paper. The ways I could have changed

the sentences without the use of the word you are below.
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 Using you- My dad grew up a child of the great Appalachia in Robbinsville,

North Carolina. It is a small town in Western North Carolina, so small you can

barely find it on a map.

Correction- My dad grew up a child of the great Appalachia in Robbinsville,

North Carolina. It is a small town in Western North Carolina, so small its barely

seen on a map.

 Using you- My question to you is are you willing to risk anything to help

someone whether you know them or not, to be the kind of person that not many

want to be?

Correction- My questions to everyone would be, are you willing to risk anything

to help someone whether you know them or not, to be the kind of person that not

many want to be?