2

Dedicated to our friends and family, the Anna Maria

College community, and Professor Blais, for all their
unwavering support.
 3

Note from the Editor.

As we publish the fourth edition of habit magazine, I would be remiss if I did not take the time to

acknowledge and thank the people who have worked tirelessly to make this possible. Habit is the

only student-run literary magazine at Anna Maria College and serves as a platform for free

artistic expression for all students, faculty, staff, and alumni.

We pride ourselves in fostering a nonjudgmental space for those to share work that they are

proud of. Habit accepts all original short stories, poetry, scripts, artwork, designs, and

photography. If you are interested in being a contributor, submissions can be sent to

habitclub@amcats.edu or on our website, www.amchabit.weebly.com

The literary club is always looking for new members! Please reach out to myself or our club

advisor, Professor Craig Blais.

Thank you and enjoy!

Dream Whitaker

President and Editor in Chief

 4

Table of Contents

Short Story

“Second Chance” - Emily Ngo Page 5

Photography

Meghan Sonia Photography (2) Pages 10 & 11

“Dream Big, Black Girl” - Toby Rodriguez Page 12

Poetry

The Heart and the Head – Dawnisha Franklin Page 13

Heartache’s Touch – Chris McClure Page 14

Is This Love – Chris McClure Page 15

The Mask - Victoria Hughes Page 16

Artwork

Moon Over Shanghai – Erica White Page 19

 5

Short Story
Second Chance
Emily Ngo – Class of 2021
Genre: Fiction

Pitter-patter, pitter-patter, pitter-patter.

Staring blankly at the window, a young girl watched as the raindrops hit her home.
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter, pitter-patter.
“It’s not healthy to sit one place for so long,” a gentle voice called out, “Holly.”
Holly turned around to look at her caretaker, still quiet and unsure why the young
woman is here with her. It wasn’t too long ago since the accident she was in had happened.
Ever since that day, the other woman was suddenly in charge of taking care of her. Holly is
unsure for the reason nor did she care. She enjoys spending time with her guardian. However,
she can’t help but long for something. As of late, she can’t help but feel as if she was missing
something. This uncertainty and longing bother the young child, but she chooses to push away
those feelings. Nothing good will come of it.
“Evie, are they back yet?" Holly asked, curious to know the whereabouts of her parents.
“Not yet, Holly,” Evie walked towards the girl, “How about we go take a walk around the
garden. I’m sure it will help ease your mind.”
“Won’t we get wet? It’s still raining outside.”
“Rain? It’s not raining now.”
Holly frowned and turned her gazed towards the window. Her eyes widen from the
scene before her. It’s not raining anymore. Outside appears to be bright and sunny, no traces of
puddles or raindrops could be seen. A stray rabbit is hopping along the yard, no imprints of its
steps can be seen on the soil as it moves.
“That’s not… What?” the confused girl muttered. Despite being a child still, she knows
for sure rain does not suddenly stop like this, leaving no trace of its existence. Throughout her
conservation with her caretaker, the rain provided background noise for the two until this very
moment.
 6

“Come on, let’s go. It has certainly been a while since we explored the garden," Evie said
excitedly. It seems she is acting as if it was never raining at all. The young woman smiled
brightly at the child, grabbing her hand. Holly merely nodded and got off the chair she was in.
As they walked, Holly can’t help but glance at the other individual, her mind wheeling.
Ever since Evie came two months ago, strange things have occurred. This sudden changed in
weather was not the only weird occurrence, nor was it the first time this happened. At times,
the young girl sometimes witnessed shadows or dark figures roaming her home, despite not
witnessing another individual besides Evie. She also hears small whispers around her, barely
making out the words the air seemingly saying. Whenever this occurred, chills are the only thing
she feels.
“Holly, instead of the garden, do you want to visit the meadow nearby,” Evie asked taking
Holly away from her thoughts.
“Meadow,” Holly questioned. She was unaware there was a meadow nearby, but then
again, she has not explored the area often. “Okay.”
Evie’s eyes brightened, “Perfect! You are going to love it!”
Holly simply nodded and turn her gaze before her. The only sounds that can be heard
are the soft footsteps between the two and the occasional wind that blows by.
The silence between the two was not deafening, but the trip was starting to bore Holly.
Usually, another conversation was to occur, but it seems neither wanted to start it. The child
glanced up and saw Evie’s harden face. So unusual considering how upbeat and cheerfully she
usually is. The young woman would constantly talk Holly’s ear off and encouraged the younger
girl to engaged as well.
“-ou ready,” a voice timidly whispered behind her.
Holly snapped her head in the direction where she believed the voice came from.
“Are you ready,” the voice repeated itself.
“Ready for what,” a bewildered Holly asked. Nothing was behind her beside the pathway
the two were on. The voice she heard was too low to be Evie, yet she did not feel entirely
scared. The voice feels familiar and warm.
“Are you ready?”
The young woman glanced down at the child. Holly has suddenly stopped and starting to
speak to someone behind her. Evie turned her gaze and sigh before kneeling to the young girl.
Placing her hand on the other girl’s head and patted her head. She asked in a gentle
voice, “Holly, sweetie, do you have any questions?”
 7

“Questions?”
“Yes, anything you would like to ask. I’m sure you have many.”
“…”
“You can ask anything, no matter how silly or strange it is. I won’t judge.”
“…” Holly just remained silent, starting to feel dreadful. She never heard these voices
around Evie before. It was always when she was alone.
“Okay, how about I just asked you questions then?” The young girl nodded as let go of
her guardian’s hand.
“Have you been feeling as if you are missing something?”
Holly's eyes widen at the question. This is the first time she heard this out loud. She has
not publicly admitted this, nor did she want to believe it.
“Have you been hearing voices, or seeing something dark around?”
“…” The silence was only the answer. For some unknown reason, Holly feels as if she
was in some sort of trouble. These things that Evie are bringing up are not something she ever
said out loud.
“Holly, it’s alright. Nothing bad is coming from this,” Evie reassured the girl, “I just want
to know. I think it’s about time we see your parents, okay?”
“They’re here?”, the child’s eyes glimmered brightly. A soft laugh can be heard from the
distance. Holly tilted her head towards the direction of the meadow, the source of where the
laugh is coming from.
Evie stood up and looked down towards the girl with a gentle and reassuring smile. “Of
course. I think today is the day you’ll see them. They’re at the meadow.”
With that statement, Holly started to run along the path with so much energy, Evie was
surprised. For the last two months, it seems as if the child was less than content with her life.
She refused to do anything besides staying in her bedroom looking out the window. It was odd
to see a child be so still, not wanting to play or be loud. This worried Evie to see this, especially
knowing the outcome if she continues to leave the girl alone.
With few quick strides, the young woman easily caught up towards the child. The
moment the two reached the meadow, a couple was already standing there with a knowing look.
Fully knowing their daughter will be coming to see them. Both parties radiated with happiness
as the older couple kneeled with arms wide open. Their daughter running with laughter towards
them. The moment Holly was within reach; she was pulled into the hug. Tears streaming down
 8

on all three faces as a bright light quickly flashed. The family that was embracing on top of the
meadow disappeared.
“Another successful case,” a deep voice said.
Without missing a beat Evie coolly replied, “Maybe.” She felt someone walk up towards
her, staring intently where the small family once been.
“Thinking of changing careers,” the man chuckled fully aware of what she feels.
“I just want to help, but it doesn’t seem I’m getting better at this. It doesn’t help if others
are trying to interfere.”
“You’re still a newbie, but you did alright. They just want to prepare you for the next
step.”
“Is this something you think I’m ready to do," Evie turned with uncertainty in her voice,
"Arlo, I thought I was only supposed to watch souls until their ties with their bodies are gone. I
never expect to deal with soul snatchers or other sorts.”
"Weren't you originally an angel," Arlo shot back teasingly, “This is something you can
easily do. It’ll be a waste for your talents to be unused.”
“Unused? I just wanted to help lost souls, not deal with entities trying to steal them.
Besides, I did a bad job, Holly still witnessed those snatchers and heard them too.”
“Yeah, but she back with her parents. Her soul can rest easy now.”
Evie simply stared at the man with disbelief. She can’t believe how laidback he is talking
about this situation. But then again, he does not care much for anything, and simply does what
he pleases.
“That little girl never understood her situation in the first place, and didn’t she think she
was still alive anyway? She never questioned anything, she didn’t ask anything from you so it
fine,” Arlo reasoned, “Besides if she did have any negative experience, it is all forgotten now
since she probably up in paradise with her family.”
Staring blanking in disbelief as she heard the man continue to talk. "I'm going to leave
you now.” Evie turned around and walked away from the scene feeling mix of emotions as she
heard her colleague calling for her.
This is her first job since she transferred. In the last two months, she tried to keep the
child's soul intact and at peace while Holly’s physical body was trying to recover from an accident
that killed her parents. The girl was on the verge of death, and it was unknown if she will survive
at the time. Evie’s duty was to protect and guide the soul until judgment was made. She strived
to keep the girl happy and unaware but realized she does not know how to do so. This job is too
different than being a guardian angel.
 9

"I got to do better," Evie muttered under her breath.

A bright light quickly flashes leaving a golden mass in its place. Taking a deep breath Evie
walked through the portal. A million things flashing through her mind, before finally making her
resolved. She has much more to do.

Photography
Meghan Sonia - Class of 2023
10
 11

“Dream Big, Black Girl.”

Toby Rodriguez – Class of 2022
 12

Poetry
The Heart and The Head
Dawnisha Franklin – Class of 2022

I tried to give you my heart but you refuse to take it.

This is why I’m so cautious cuz I don’t wanna break it.

When you give away your soul then everything changes.

You never using your mind to make further arrangements.

You lose your mind and only think with your heart.

It seems like the decision is doomed from the start.

Thinking logically would be the better choice,

But you would be dead inside and not have any joy.

There’s only intelligence with no love -

A world like that seems pretty cold.

Thinking with emotion is all fun and games,

Until the choices you make go up in flames.

It has to be a mix of both so you are balanced,

But being able to do that can be a challenge.

The heart needs the head.

The head needs the heart.

Without your head your heart wouldn’t beat.

 13

Without your heart your head wouldn’t think.

You need both not just one.

The heart and the head go together like the moon and the sun.
 14

Heartache’s Touch
Christopher R. McClure – Class of 2023

Full of love and strength is my giving tree.

No storm nor quake could rock it from its stance. Not anger, pain, or sorrow win their plea,

But one vehemence’s wrath does stand a chance.

What, then, is more mighty than our rage?

And how is that more powerful than pain?

Oh, is there feeling sadness cannot gauge,

That barrels down to make the love tree strain?

That burning, searing pain can burn its trunk.

That aching from the core could mar it’s worth.

The deathly fervor paints the tree’s life curt,

So intense its love banished from the earth.

Heartache plunges sharp claws into your roots,

Thus poisoning the sweet giving tree’s fruits.

 15

Is This Love?
Christopher R. McClure – Class of 2023

Is this what love feels like?

I asked myself the other night.
Is this fluttering feeling,
In my stomach, my brain,
Is this constant nervousness... How I know it’s okay that I’m in love?

Is this what love looks like?

I pondered from the back of his Jeep.
Him beside me,
Not touching, not talking.
But this silence between us, it isn’t awkward. It’s sweet. Am I in love?

Is this what love sounds like? When he,

Mock teases, over explains his
Intense feelings, like a speech and
I listen intently, we’re on the same page? And I’m in love?

But what is love like?

Is it more than a word?
More than feelings, or looks, or how you sound? What is love?
It’s not what I think I have found.

He’s a friend.
Maybe that’s the right word
He’s there when I need him,
We crack inside jokes
Our personal issues are out there in view,
He trusts me with things that even he barely knew.
I think I get it.

This is love,
A different kind than I thought,
I wouldn’t trade it or change it,
I love what I got. And the more that I think, the more that I know. And, I’m…Loved.
 16

The Mask
Victoria Hughes – Class of 2023

Strong.
I never knew what that word really meant
Until I was ten.
I only knew that it meant the physical strength mostly men had.
I didn't realize until I was ten that there was such thing as mental strength either.

After I lost my grandfather,

I learned what it meant to have a façade.
To hide behind a mask.
Until then, I was naive.

Years went by,

And I'd learned how to perfect the facade,
To hide the pain that I felt.
Instead, I'd show the happy girl I used to be.

When I was in eighth grade,

I had to put on a different mask.
To not only hide the pain of loss,
But to hide the pain of betrayal as well.

In high school,
I perfected my facade once again.
No one knew the pain I dealt with unless I told them.
To everyone else,
I was a new person.
But I was happy.

Until senior year.

 17

I tried to hide the pain

That came with utter betrayal,
But it was hard.
The lawyer that I should've been able to trust failed me.
The judge, and the justice system, failed me.
And the mask changed again.

It took a little while,

But I'd perfected the facade,
yet again.
Then, it crumbled again.

Second semester of my freshman year of college,

I lost her.
The one person in the family
who'd had to remain strong,
As I had.
Nana.
And thus, the mask changed yet again.
Its purpose?
To hide the pain of loss and betrayal
That I couldn't cope with otherwise.

Now,
Despite my best efforts,
I can't help but keep up the facade.
I'd found people who understand the pain,
But, as I've found,
I cannot remove the mask.

I tried.
I really did,
But letting them in,
Letting them see the pain
that I'd spent so long hiding,
Became impossible.
 18

It's not that I didn't want to,

I did.
I do.
But the show I'd put on for so long,
The mask I'd been wearing for ten years,
Can't come down.
Who knows what will happen
when they someday go?

For now,
Until the day comes that everything comes down,
I cry behind closed doors.
I hide the pain that I'd felt.
I cry inside for the childhood lost.
Lost to the pains of grief and betrayal.

For now,
I must hide behind the mask,
For the mask is my only friend.
For the mask knows
the pain and fear I hide.
For it is behind the mask
I will always hide the truth
Until the day arrives that a new mask will be put in its place.
 19

Artwork
Moon Over Shanghai
Erica White – Class of 2023

*[This is an Ink and brush drawing in the style of Sumi-e. Although a Japanese art style, a Chinese
style sun was used to create this culturally integrative piece.]
 20

Thank you to our contributors:

Emily Ng

Dawnisha Franklin

Christopher R. McClure

Victoria Hughes

Erica White

Toby Rodriquez
21