Script

Narrator: “Quick! You have two seconds to name these two countries!”

*Wait 2 Seconds*

Narrator: “You’re right, unless you’re not, then shame on you! These are of course USA and Mexico,
back in the 1820’s. As you can see, Mexico is a lot bigger here than it is today, and the USA is slightly
smaller than it is today. But at this point in history, both countries are roughly the same size as each
other, and are amongst the largest countries in the world at the time. They also both have rapidly
growing economies, and militaries, and want to continue expanding their borders in each other’s
directions! What could possibly go wrong? As it turns out, everything!”

*Intro Plays*

Narrator: “In order to understand this all properly, we need to turn back the clock all the way back to
1810.”

Devin: “1810 was a big year for Mexico! But during this time, it was not even called Mexico, it was called
New Spain.”

Madison: “Spain had been suffering from the Napoleonic Wars in Europe, and pretty soon, all of Spain’s
colonies started declaring their independence.”

Narrator: “In 1810, Mexico declared independence from Spain, resulting in an 11-year long war, which
Mexico won.”

Spain: “Okay, I’ll let you have your stupid independence!”

Mexico: “That would probably be for the best.”

Narrator: “Immediately following the war, a constitutional democracy was set up as Mexico’s main
government, with a parliament to help regulate the power of the monarch, but that one really didn’t
work very well for them.”

Narrator: “You see, Mexico had another neighboring country just south of it, and it was called the
Central American Republic.”

Narrator: “This country voted for annexation into Mexico shortly after the Mexican War of
Independence and became an integrated part of it. Then, literally about a year later, the region suddenly
burst into open rebellion, for seemingly no reason whatsoever!”

Narrator: “In an effort to appease the rebellions, the Mexican head of state, being the intellectual he is,
decided to move the Mexican capital to Guatemala City, and as you could probably imagine, that didn’t
go to well for him.”
Narrator: “The rebels very quickly took Guatemala City, the head of state was exiled, and at that point,
Mexico had pretty much been defeated.”

Narrator: “Interestingly enough, immediately after the Central American Republic won back their
independence, all the states started rebelling for their own independence, and the federation was
immediately dissolved because every state of it was rebelling, giving the central government little to no
sovereign reign.”

Narrator: “Now, with a large portion of their southern region gone, and their economy biting the dust,
Mexico had to set up a new provisional government, but this time, it was more leaning towards a
dictatorship than a constitutional monarchy.”

Devin: “Provisional governments are meant to be quickly put together, and those often turn out to be
sloppy parliaments and one man at the center of it all.”

Narrator: “Meanwhile, due to everything else that had been going down in the south, the Texan Region
started to fall into a federal condition known as salutary neglect. Salutary neglect is basically when a
country doesn’t pay much attention to one of their colonies or territories, and that area starts to govern
itself.”
Narrator: “While the area was in salutary neglect, they started allowing American immigrants in, and the
Mexican government allowed it with some minor policies, as they had more important things to work
on.”

Narrator: “Years later, the new provisional government looked back at how that was doing, and they
were not incredibly happy about what they saw. The immigration policies had been so loosely enforced
that the amount of immigration from the United States to Mexico was almost entirely unregulated. This
led to Anglo-Americans outnumbering native Mexicans 5 to 1.”

Devin: “This really disturbed the provisional government, so they immediately enforced a bunch of
harsh policies on the Texas region. They also ordered mass deportations of even legal American
immigrants and taxed them heavily on almost everything!”

Madison: “As you can imagine, that did not go down well with these Americans immigrants, who came
from a country, that not even a century ago, was birthed from a revolution which came from this exact
kind of stuff!”

Narrator: “Texans did not stand for it, and revolutions immediately started against the Mexican
government. But Mexico was prepared for it, because after already having an embarrassing defeat
against rebels of the Central American Republic, they weren’t going to be humiliated like that again!”

Narrator: “Time and time again, Mexico managed to successfully put down one revolution after another,
right up until an incident known as the Alamo. A group of revolutionaries1 known as the Defenders of
the Alamo were surrounded in a small building by Mexican armed forces. For their numbers, they put up
a great defense effort against them, managing to hold the troops for a mind-boggling thirteen days, but
eventually, they were forced into submission, with the Mexican Troops committing horrible atrocities
against the Alamo Defenders even after the battle was over. Few survived the incident, and those left
were executed shortly afterwards.”
Devin: “The event was a horrible tragedy for the people of Texas, but in reality, it only made them fight
harder, because it showed what the Mexican government would do to people who fought for what they
believed in.”

Narrator: “The battle was on! Minor revolutionary events became full scale revolutions! Revolutionaries
fought fiercely, to the very end! And the Texas Revolution, as it would come to be known as had a new
slogan, ‘Remember the Alamo.’”

Narrator: “Thus started the Goliad Campaign, the main Texas war campaign to capture the strategic city
of Goliad. At first, everything was going badly, with Texan forces failing to capture the cities of Refugio
and Goliad, but then, they saw their chance when spies warned of a naval invasion into the city of La
Porte by Mexican Forces, which would be attended by none other than the Mexican Head of State,
another intellectual as you can see.

Narrator: “Santa Anna was commanding this large force of just over 1,500 men, just as he had with the
force which destroyed the Alamo Defenders. But this time would be different. Knowing their plans
ahead of time, Texan military strategists got together and came up with a very clever plan.”

Narrator: “When Santa Anna’s forces entered the little harbor where La Porte was located, Texan Navy
Ships blockaded in the force, so that they would have no where to retreat, far back enough that the
Mexican force still didn’t suspect anything. Onshore in Santa Anna, a Texan force was preparing to use
Guerilla Warfare tactics against the enemy forces, by ambushing them from buildings.”

Narrator: “When Santa Anna’s forces reached La Porte, it was quiet, when the Texan forces suddenly
rained bullet fire down on them. Lined up neatly and marching through the town with bright green
uniforms, the Mexican forces were basically target practice. After a short 18-minute battle, Texas came
out with one of the most amazing victories on record, capturing 730 men, including the Mexican Head of
State, after inflicting an amazing 630 casualties on the enemy troops, while only loosing 9 men.”

Narrator: “After losing so badly in the recent battle, and being taken prisoner, the Mexican Head of
State had no choice but to negotiate peace, and just like that, Texas had won.”

Narrator: “Now, unlike most freshly independent countries, Texas was immediately looking to get
annexed by the United States of America. Mexico, on the other hand, did not want this, and
immediately started a massive border dispute with Texas, and when I say massive, I mean most of their
territory.”

Narrator: “The Texan Government chose not to recognize this border dispute, and they were starting to
get chummy with the US, and Mexico didn’t like that either. Then, after just 3 years of independence,
Texas requested annexation into the US, and the US obliged, because both knew that it would be for the
better of both countries.”

Narrator: “The Texan Government did make one big mistake in doing this though. Since they did not
recognize their border dispute with Mexico, they did not inform the US that it was disputed, and the US
annexed it too. That made Mexico mad, and on April 25, 1846, Mexico declared war on the United
States.”

Narrator: “The US was understandably surprised about this, and they weren’t prepared for the barrage
of attacks which came suddenly from Mexico, in Southern Texas. The American troops stationed in that
area put up some minor resistance, but in the end, they couldn’t stand up to the large Mexican
offensive.”

Narrator: “It took little time to get the US Military mobilized afterwards, and reinforcements manage to
beat back the invaders, and then, in the Californian region, the US started some invading of its own. The
US Navy quickly lands at Monterey and Yerba Buena, which is present day San Francisco, and
successfully form beachheads and capture the towns.”

Narrator: “Offensive efforts by the US are also taking place elsewhere. In New Mexico, the US Army
successfully takes Santa Fe, in Arizona, the US Army is sweeping through the mostly empty land, and
back in California, there is a struggle between the armies and navies of both sides to keep Los Angeles
under their control. Otherwise, it seems that the US is scoring amazing victories, at an incredible pace.

Narrator: “Now, remember Santa Anna? He was back in Mexico, still the head of state, thinking, ‘This
isn’t going too hot for us, we need to find a way to turn this war around so we can at least keep our
land!’”

Narrator: “Mexico used up all its power and resources to push back against America, and they did
manage to push back a good amount in California, taking back Los Angeles. But the Americans were
already starting to push back again, and Santa Anna knew that if he did not try to negotiate a peace
treaty, it would inevitably lead to his country’s annihilation.”

Narrator: “On February 2, 1848, the Guadalupe Hidalgo Treaty was signed, forcing Mexico to cell all of
its North American Territory to the US, while keeping its Central American Territory. Mexico had once
again suffered a humiliating defeat, and lost a lot of territory in the process, and they would never again
have the chance to become the powerful nation they once were. Since then, relations between the two
countries have not improved by much, but we can all safely conclude Mexico will not try that again.