Meeting 7

NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

Non-Verbal Communication: Communicating Without Words

Speaking of non-verbal communication, do you know some of the following comments?

 “He didn’t look at me once. Never trust a person who doesn’t look you in the eye”
 “Indonesian smile at strangers. I don’t know what to think of that”
 “Americans seem cold. They seem to get upset when you stand close to them”

The comments above are some of the comments given by someone when he makes contact or
interaction between cultures. From the comments submitted, it appears that cultural differences can be
a trigger for how someone misinterprets non-verbal forms of communication. In fact, this possibility
can also happen even to those who come from the same culture, what is different is only often or not.
The fact shows that there are still many people in society who think that verbal communication is the
most important thing in a conversation, while nonverbal communication is not really considered. In
fact, the two types of communication are equally important because each can represent where a
person comes from and how to communicate the most appropriate to their culture..

A. Body Language
For example, when you meet Japanese people for the first time for business purposes, at the
end of the meeting you will usually give a business card so they can easily contact you. In your
culture, it may not be a significant problem when you hand over the business card with one hand
(right hand). But in Japanese culture, it is considered impolite because usually Japanese people will
hand over something using their two hands with a slightly bowed posture as a sign of respect..
When your verbal communication is running smoothly, then what you need to pay attention to
is non-verbal communication. For example, when meeting Americans or British people, they will get
used to shaking hands and carry out the tradition of sticking their cheeks (right and left cheeks).
Meanwhile, you cannot do the same thing when you meet Arabs for example because they will think
you are someone who is aggressive and disrespectful.
So, non-verbal forms of communication can be in the form of eye contact, hand movements,
distance when communicating, facial expressions, and so on. These forms of non-verbal
communication can be the same or completely different from country to country. The forms of non-
verbal communication that are considered universal and apply equally in all countries around the
world are expressions of happiness, expressions of sadness, expressions of fear, expressions of
depression, expressions of pain, and so on..

In other words, it can be explained by examples such as feelings of friendship that can be
found in all cultures around the world, while how they express these feelings varies. In several
countries such as America, England, and most countries in the European region; it is still normal and
acceptable when there are two men or two women hugging or holding hands. However, in some
countries, for example, countries in the Asian region, such expressions of affection in public will be
considered strange or even not allowed.

B. Hand Gesture
As in verbal communication, what is considered normal and polite in one culture may be
considered strange and disrespectful in another. For example, there is a culture that "allows" a
customer to flick his hand to call a waiter. However, in certain cultures, such attitudes are considered
impolite. Apart from that there are several languages non-verbal signs such as the American “OK”
sign that can mean different things in different cultures. In Japan, the hand sign "OK" like this is
interpreted as "money", while in Russia it means "zero" or "zero", and in Brazil it is interpreted as an
insulting expression or something obscene.

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 Figure 1.19 ‘OK’ Gesture in America
Source: Google Images

Figure 1.20 ‘OK’ Gesture in Some Countries

Source: Google Images

Figure 1.21 Beckoning People to Come (Palm Up)

Source: Google Images

The non-verbal language above which is meant to address someone is considered very
reasonable and acceptable in the United States, however, in some countries such as the Philippines,
Korea, and some countries in Latin America, hand sign language like the picture above is considered
impolite. In some other countries even the hand sign language is only used to call animals. Therefore,
you must be very careful when visiting a country and intend to use certain body language which in
your culture is something that is normal, but which could mean the opposite in the country you are
visiting.
For the case in the Indonesian region: most Javanese people will usually use their index finger
to show directions or to point at someone. Meanwhile in Madura, people will use their thumbs

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(thumbs) to show direction or mean to point at someone. Pointing directly using the index finger is
considered impolite in the culture of the Madurese community.
Regarding the variety of languages with hand signs, there are some differences that everyone
should know so that there are no misunderstandings due to cultural differences. As illustrated in the
picture below, different countries will have different ways of expressing their anger or discomfort
towards a situation.

Figure 1.22 The Angry Traveler’s Guide to Obscene Gestures

Source: Google Images

C. Facial Expression
Regarding facial expressions, of course everyone knows that smiling is a form of expression
of happiness or pleasure that is very universal because people all over the world must do it when they
are happy. However, the smile itself sometimes has different meanings depending on the situation in
which we are smiling and at whom we are smiling. For example, the smile we give to police officers
when we are at the police station and the smiles we give to children while in an elementary school are
two different types of smiles. The first smile can mean a thank you or a sign that we respect the police
officer, while the second smile can mean that we are happy to meet children.

Figure 1.23 Facial Expressions

Source: Google Images

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 Furthermore, for Indonesians and some Americans (especially those living in small cities),
smiling at strangers in public is something that is normal to do. While Russians will find it something
strange and look suspicious. On the other hand, for Indonesians and some Americans, Russians are
considered typical people who rarely smile. Another example is that for people in the Southeast Asian
region (especially in Vietnam), a smile is sometimes interpreted to cover or hide a sad story or
something embarrassing..

D. Eye Contact
“Eye contact is important because insufficient or excessive eye contact can create
communication barriers” (Bennett, 1991). In some states in the United States, such as the West Coast
area and the South America area, it is normal and acceptable to see someone as they pass by. For
example, you might pass two strangers while you are walking and make eye contact with them, smile,
and even say 'Hi' for a few seconds.

Figure 1.24 Making Eye Contact When Speaking to Someone

Source: Google Images

Some cultures in Indonesia, such as in Madura, still do not place much importance on eye
contact, especially in the relationship between students and their kyai or ustadz. For their culture, the
less eye contact with the kyai or ustadz whom they consider to be highly respected people, the better.
Making intense eye contact will make the students considered impolite so that when they speak they
will look down more often. However, this is not the case in most other local Indonesian cultures.

E. Conversational Distance
Basically, everyone must have a "comfort zone" when they are interacting with other people,
be it one-on-one communication or group communication models, which are then referred to as
personal space. Different cultures, of course, will also make a difference in this conversational
distance. Apart from cultural reasons, usually the internal factors that also influence the amount of this
distance are about a person's personality. An introverted person will usually tend to create a wider
distance when conversing with the interlocutor compared to those who are extroverted..
For typical American culture, the distance usually ranges from about an arm's length to within
four footsteps depending on the situation and who the interlocutor is. In American culture, the closer
the distance means the greater / closer the relationship between people. In the picture below it can be
seen clearly how the distance created by two people will get closer the closer the relationship between
the two also gets. Americans would find it uncomfortable to be too close to someone they just met.

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 Figure 1.25 Conversational Distance between Colleagues
Source: Google Images

Figure 1.26 Conversational Distance between Couples

Source: Google Images

QUESTION

“Culture hides much more than it reveals, and strangely enough, what it hides, it hides most
effectively from its own participants”

1. In your opinion, what kind of culture is hidden behind the area of non-verbal communication?
2. What is the meaning of the last sentence of the quote above (it hides most effectively from its own
participants)?

(After answering the question above you need to answer the next question(s) given by your lecturer.)

3. .......... (next)