SO YOU’RE MOVING TO SF: AN INCOMPLETE GUIDE FOR THE PERPLEXED

Richmond/Sunset/Golden Gate Park/Pacific Heights:

Arguello Market - Famous for its turkey sandwich, get it w/ cranberry sauce on dutch crunch
bread.

Gordo Taqueria (multiple locations) - The burrito of my childhood and a strong competitor to the
mission ones, though I couldn’t tell you how much of my opinion is just proustian sense-memory at
this point. The chile verde (pork in green chile sauce) super burrito is my favorite but all are good.

Green Apple Books - My favorite bookstore and one of the best in the world (and I’ve been to a lot
of bookstores!!). Spread across two adjacent storefronts of new and used books with huge sections
of fiction, poetry, history and philosophy, everything else. They always have what I’m looking for and
much more. The second location in the Sunset is worth a look but what you want is the main two
stores on Clement street.

Hockey Haven/Trad’r Sam - Two wonderful dive bars in the outer Richmond. No hockey to be
found at hockey haven.

Devil’s Teeth Baking Company (multiple locations) - It’s extremely important!! that you get the
special breakfast sandwich. They also do beignets on sundays. The sunset location is the OG and
most charming (steps from the beach!) but both are good.

Dragon Beaux - Dim sum with all the bells and whistles (they roll the carts around for you and
whatnot). Great fun with a group but can have long waits.

Burma Superstar - Burmese food is sort of like hybrid chinese-indian-thai. The tea leaf salad,
platha and dip, and mint chicken are really good here. It gets busy but they have B-star, a spinoff
restaurant down the street, and there’s another burmese place a few blocks over called Mandalay,
also good.

Good Luck Dim Sum - Dim sum for takeout. Good baked pork buns, shrimp and chive dumplings,
gruff old chinese ladies. Cash only..

Little Vietnam Cafe - Solid banh mi run by a nice old guy and his daughter.

Outerlands - Great restaurant w/ a beautiful interior. Good for brunch or chill dinner. Extremely
fresh tasting simple California organic local etc etc.
Trouble Coffee - Famous cinnamon toast, very good beans.

B. Patisserie - Trendy IG-style bakery, always packed but very tasty. Famous kouign aman or
however you spell it.

Arizmendi Bakery (multiple locations) - Worker owned co-op bakery that does a different pizza
each day + good savory pastries.

Arsicault Bakery (multiple locations) - Best croissants in america!! Get ham and cheese and
chocolate almond.

SF Zoo - This is a blanket recommendation for going to the zoo as an adult. When you’re a kid and
there are animals in all your picture books you’re unable to fully comprehend just how insane it is
that giraffes and elephants exist. Going to the zoo and looking one in the face is a good way to
remember that earth is a very cool and strange place.

St. John Coltrane African Orthodox Church - Really incredible place run by very special people.
Go to a mass on sunday, you won’t regret it.

Land’s End Trail - Pretty cliff and oceanside walk, there’s an art museum (the Legion of Honor) and
a labyrinth also. Leads to the Sutro Baths ruins.

Batteries to Bluffs Trail - Beautiful views of the bridge/bay/beaches. Short but easily linked with
other walking trails in the Presidio.

16th Avenue Tiled Stairs/Grandview Park - Panoramic view (less crowded than twin peaks!),
cool steps.

Golden Gate Park - You probably don’t need me to give you a blanket recommendation for a huge
beautiful park so I’ll just say look out for the following: the bison paddock, the giant celtic cross
hidden on a hill, the garden w/ every plant mentioned in a Shakespeare play, the “dinosaur grove”
or “mescaline grove” (cos it looks prehistoric/good to trip in), much more cool stuff to see.

Haight-Ashbury/Castro/Mission/Potrero Hill/Etc

Castro Theater - Beautiful 20s-era movie palace that shows classic flicks. You can’t miss it.

Amoeba Music - Legendary and huge music store selling vinyl etc, one location in SF, smaller one in
Berkeley.
La Taqueria - No secret “actually the best” local option to give you here, La Taqueria rules.
Everything’s good but I always get the carne asada burrito dorado (dorado means they grill it for a
few seconds at the end.)

El Farolito - The contender for La Taq’s crown. They’re known for massive burritos. Very good as
well but a little maximal for me.

El Castillito (multiple locations) - Very solid, good al pastor. The location on Church st. is nice.
Excellent condiments/salsa bar also.

Arinell Pizza - Best NY style slice in the city, cheap too.

The Ramp - Really cool bar/restaurant kinda tucked away on the waterfront w/ a big outdoor
space. They have great bloody marys and decent brunch and a nice clientele.

Borderlands Books - Sci-fi and fantasy specialty bookshop, the only one of its kind on the West
Coast except for a store in Berkeley called Dark Carnival, which, you know, come on.

Mr. & Mrs. Miscellaneous - I am not an “ice cream guy” but their ice cream is ridiculously good and
they really pull off doing the non-standard flavors thing which I am also usually skeptical of. The
only warning is they seem to have a sort of “whenever we feel like it” philosophy when it comes to
opening hours.
Basically they exist in a quantum state where you have to mentally cultivate the idea that they won’t
be open and if you focus hard enough on that idea they will probably be open. If you’re
overconfident that they’ll be open, they’ll be closed. But the ice cream is really good, I promise.

Bird & Beckett - You guessed it - another bookshop. They have live jazz every weekend and great
music and poetry sections.

Downtown/North Beach/SoMa/Marina etc.

City Lights Books - Famously owned by the late Lawrence Ferlinghetti and ground zero for the beat
movement, City Lights is also just a great bookshop, especially for poetry as you might expect. Open
til midnight on weekends, as all bookstores would be if I was dictator of the world (reduced
pandemic hours RN).

Specs Twelve Adler Museum Cafe - Amazing old dive full of sailing memorabilia and other
tchotchkes including a whale penis. A wonderful business full of amazing people that hopefully
won’t be turned into an app-based salad bar or something. I spent New Years Eve 2019 here making
absolutely idiotic predictions that this would be my year.
Vesuvio - A little more touristy but still extremely fun Beat-era hangout with a cool second floor
mezzanine thing. It’s fun to have a beer and look down at the alley below and think about how
William S. Burroughs did the same thing or w/e.

Editor’s Note: All these businesses are next to one another on Columbus street in North Beach and god
willing City Lights will be back to its midnight hours post-pandemic. If it is, doing the
specs/vesuvio/city lights triangle until you get bored is one of the best ways to spend a night in the
city.

Li Po Cocktail Lounge - Another great dive w/ a cool 30s era sign if you’re into that (featured in
Orson Welles’ The Lady From Shanghai!! Sorry, THE LADY FROM SHANGHAI (1947)). They also have
a basement that opens later at night. Famously strong Mai Tais, great vibes..

Tony’s Pizza Napoletana - Opened by the six time World Pizza Champion or something, this place
is maybe a little overhyped but still very good if you can get a table.

Delica - Lots of solid food options in the Ferry Building (also home to a big farmers’ market) but
this is my favorite. Japanese deli thing w/ great bento boxes.

The Buena Vista - Another sort of touristy/sort of elderly bar, this is the place that claims to have
invented the irish coffee, which is the only thing you should get here. Extremely good after a big
meal or on a cold day.

Russian Hill Bookshop - Solid and friendly used bookstore. Especially strong in local history and
genre stuff but good selection overall.

Super Duper Burgers (multiple locations) - Good local burger chain w/ perfectly spiced free (!!)
pickles.

Audium: Theatre of Sound - Specially composed “sound sculptures,” basically you sit in a chair and
like 100 speakers play cool noises at you in a theatre custom built for that purpose.

Miscellaneous!!

Mt. Tamalpais and the surrounding area has tons of great hikes and it's easy to make your own out
of the many trails. The best one to start with is one that starts and ends opposite the Mountain
Home Inn in Mill Valley and dips down into the heart of Muir Woods, avoiding the need to pay entry
or deal with parking. On Alltrails it’s called the Canopy, Dipsea, and Sun Trail Loop. About 5 miles,
not too difficult.
Starting at Stinson Beach and climbing to the East Peak Fire Lookout at the top of Tam and back is
a great hike and a crazy workout (17.5 miles total but beautiful and interesting the whole way). If
you’re less athletically inclined you can also get a pizza and take it to the parking lot below the peak
and climb like 500 feet and eat the pizza there at sunset.

The Marin Headlands are also ridiculously beautiful, there are good hikes in Tennessee Valley and
on the Coastal Trail from Muir Beach.

Point Reyes is like another fog-drenched weird world, extremely beautiful and slightly scary. The
10-mile out and back hike to Tomales Point lets you chill with tule elks and sometimes you can see
whales. Point Reyes Station is a cute tiny tourist town with a really great bookstore.

If you drive down the 1 you can check out all the cute surf towns and eat at the World’s Most
Beautiful Taco Bell in Pacifica.

The CalTrain goes absolutely nowhere interesting but if you go at off-peak hours it’s a pretty chill
and relaxing train journey.

Berkeley/Oakland is its own beast that could have its own guide! And I’m not the best person to
ask cos I grew up on the very other side of the city. But they’re fun, go walk around and find
whatever.