Step 1: Observe Yourself

In order to change any behavior, you have to recognize that you’re doing it. So make a commitment
to observe your behavior and write down any time you find yourself micromanaging, overplanning,
being overly critical or overprotective. Observing yourself this way can be hard to do, so you can
also ask a trusted friend or family member to point out whenever they see you engaging in
controlling behaviors.

Practice Acceptance and Self-Compassion

now is the time to be kind to yourself and talk through your feelings with compassion and self-
acceptance. You might want to try reminding yourself, “I can handle this” and every thing is as it
should be.

Take small steps.

However, you don’t have to relinquish all control at once. Instead, start small. Hand off a single
aspect of a project to a colleague. Trust them to do a good job, but know that if they don’t, you
can always give feedback and correct the situation. As you see the benefits of collaboration in
action, your comfort zone expands. Delegating becomes easier, bit by bit.

BAN CONTROL-ORIENTED LANGUAGE FROM YOUR VOCABULARY

Learning how to be less controlling requires recognizing the role of language.
Avoid reacting to bad behavior
Controlling people are often looking for a reaction. If you, say, get aggressive or angry in return, this is
likely to backfire. Instead of fighting fire with fire, try to remain calm

Try to empathize
People with control issues may have underlying emotional issues. Understanding this can help you figure
out how to best address the person's need for control

Establishing clear boundaries

Controlling people are always trying to push the limits of those around them. Let the controlling person
know where your personal limits are by express your boundaries directly, Make it clear to them which
behaviors you will and will not tolerate

Choose your battles.

Your time is valuable. Decide which battles do you really want to take on However, if your partner
wants you to give up something you really love to do, you could say, “Let’s have a conversation about
it.”