Online Pre-sessional Programme

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30. Paragraph Structure (2)

What are we studying and why?

In your earlier lesson paragraph structure (1), you explored the importance of topic
sentences, supporting sentences, and so-what sentences. You also looked at ways
of creating cohesion in your writing. Today’s lesson builds on these ideas and will
help you further develop your understanding of cohesive paragraph structures. This
will be directly useful when re-drafting your Long Essay on this course, and with the
writing you will do on your degree course as a Durham University student.

Your study tasks:

Work through the tasks below. In lesson ‘30. Paragraph Structure (2)’ on DUO, you will find
important tasks and resources that form part of the lesson below. You need to complete all
of this before your online class.

Lesson aims:
 To understand in greater detail how writers construct cohesive paragraphs.
 To learn about the most common, and useful paragraph structures.
 To consider how your own writing can be improved by recognising and using
these paragraph structures.

Task 1: Introducing the concepts.

 Read carefully about paragraph structure, and the theme below.

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Paragraph Structure

As we have seen in previous lessons, each part of your essay paragraph has a specific
job to complete. Think about the different tasks fulfilled by a topic sentence and its
corresponding so-what sentence. Each is important in helping the reader understand your
text, and we cannot view them as optional. Additionally, the way that we develop a
paragraph through a series of interconnected sentences, is just as important. The order in
which we place known and new information is not random, and we can apply established
structures in order to ensure the quality of our paragraphs.

What follows in this lesson should not be something you worry about too much when
writing your first draft text. In those early stages, you should not be too concerned with
producing the perfect text. The ideas of theme and comment paragraph structures can be
applied when you redraft and improve your writing. This ability to analyse and understand
where there are weaknesses in your paragraph development will be extremely helpful
once on your course of study as your teachers will not offer as much support with
language related problems.

Theme and Comment

Let’s look at the theme first.

In a sentence, everything before the main verb (or main verb phrase) is called the theme.

In English, the theme of a sentence is normally something that the reader already
knows or understands. This could be from their existing background knowledge or
because it has been mentioned earlier in the text. Therefore, when you write a sentence in
English, you should make sure that the theme is something already familiar to the reader.

Task 2: Identifying the theme.

 Read this paragraph from the Big Brands essay and highlight the theme of each
sentence in yellow. The first sentence has been provided as an example.

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Accusations against ‘big brands’.

One of the main reasons people accuse big brands of being ‘evil’ is because of the
belief that they exploit workers, especially those in developing countries. This is
because wages per hour are significantly cheaper and taxes and regulations are
less stringent in developing countries (Madeley, 1999). For example, Thai
labourers’ wages are about 56 pence per hour so instead of hiring high cost
English labourers companies hire cheaper Thais (Madeley, 1999). In this way,
given the often weak enforcement of wage and safety laws in developing
countries, “…the large corporations […] have used their power to effectively cause
hardship for millions of the poor in developing countries” (Madeley, 1999, p. vii).
Such accusations have been one of the primary factors that have led people to
argue that big brands are ‘evil’.

Task 3: Analysing the theme.

 Look at the paragraph once more and consider the following questions. Make some
notes of your answers in the box below.

a) In each of the sentences, what information does the reader already know?
b) How does the reader know it?

Your answers:
a)

b)

Task 4: Introducing the comment.

 Read carefully about the comment below.

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Theme and Comment

Now, we can look at the comment.

In a sentence, everything after the main verb (or main verb phrase) is called the
comment.

The information in the comment is normally new information, which the reader is learning
for the first time.

Theme Comment

One of the main reasons people accuse is because of the belief that they exploit
big brands of being ‘evil’ workers, especially those in developing
countries.

Theme = known information Comment = new information

Task 5: Identifying the comment.

 Look at the sentences below. In each sentence, highlight the comment in green. The
first sentence has been provided as an example.

a) One of the main reasons people accuse big brands of being ‘evil’ is because of the
belief that they exploit workers, especially those in developing countries.
b) This is because wages per hour are significantly cheaper and taxes and regulations
are less stringent in developing countries (Madeley, 1999).
c) For example, Thai labourers’ wages are about 56 pence per hour so instead of hiring
high cost English labourers companies hire cheaper Thais (Madeley, 1999).

Task 6: Identifying the theme and the comment.

 Here is the same paragraph once more. This time, highlight the theme of each
sentence in yellow, the main verb (or main verb phrase) in blue, and the comment in green.

One of the main reasons people accuse big brands of being ‘evil’ is because of the belief

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that they exploit workers, especially those in developing countries. This is because wages
per hour are significantly cheaper and taxes and regulations are less stringent in
developing countries (Madeley, 1999). For example, Thai labourers’ wages are about 56
pence per hour, so instead of hiring high cost English labourers, companies hire cheaper
Thais (Madeley, 1999). In this way, given the often weak enforcement of wage and safety
laws in developing countries, “…the large corporations […] have used their power to
effectively cause hardship for millions of the poor in developing countries” (Madeley, 1999,
p. vii). Such accusations have been one of the primary factors that have led people to
argue that big brands are ‘evil’.

Task 7: Analysing theme and comment relationships.

 Look at the paragraph above and note down your answers to the following questions in
the box below.

a) What is the relationship between the themes and the comments in this paragraph?
b) Can you see a relationship between each comment, and the subsequent theme?

Your answers:
a)

b)

Task 8: Peer work on Teams.

Now go to Teams and share your answers for the lesson so far with your work group. Once
you have finished your discussion, post any remaining unanswered questions for your
teacher in Teams. Ideally, you should do this before moving on to Task 9 but don’t worry if
you are unable. It’s fine to keep working here and discuss with your group later.

You can check your answers to Task 6 at the end of this document

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Task 9: Introducing and becoming aware of theme and comment patterns.

 Read carefully about the theme and comment patterns below.

Theme and Comment Patterns

Now that you have developed your ability to identify the theme and comment in a
paragraph, we can think about how to use this new skill. In an effective paragraph, the
information is carefully presented in ways that allow the reader to gradually build their
understanding. By linking themes and comments in a variety of ways, we can aid
comprehension, while avoiding a repetitive writing style. Here, we will look at four common
paragraph structures and see how the themes and comments are organised for each.
Remember that you should not worry about this when first writing your paragraphs. This
type of paragraph analysis becomes useful when you improve your writing in subsequent
drafts. Your teacher on this course will look for these patterns when giving feedback on
your work as a way of helping you to see where your reader may struggle to understand
your ideas. Developing this skill can help you to achieve higher marks on the pre-
sessional, and also in your later university studies.
There are four common theme and comment patterns that are typically used in academic
writing. You will now see each of them, along with an example paragraph.

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1. The Relay Race

In its simplest form, it looks like this:

Theme Comment

Theme Comment

Theme Comment

The comment of each sentence becomes the theme for following sentence.
Here is an example:
Unlike many other institutes, Durham University is organised around a traditional
collegiate system. This approach creates a supportive network of colleges within
which you can create a network of friends. Such networks may include contacts
who will later become useful in your professional lives, but may also be personal
friends. Developing close personal relationships with individuals from other
cultures and backgrounds is an integral part of the university experience. As a
result, your encounters here at one of Durham’s colleges will be a unique and
memorable part of your time studying here.

Look at this colour coded version and see if you can recognise that the
comment of each sentence becomes the theme of the following sentence.
Unlike many other institutes, Durham University is organised around a traditional
collegiate system. This approach creates a supportive network of colleges within
which you can create a network of friends. Such networks may include contacts
who will later become useful in your professional lives, but may also be personal
friends. Developing close personal relationships with individuals from other
cultures and backgrounds is an integral part of the university experience. As a
result, your encounters here at one of Durham’s colleges will be a unique and
memorable part of your time studying here.

2. The One-Man Band

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In its simplest form, it looks like this:

Theme Comment

Theme Comment

Theme Comment

The theme of the first sentence becomes the theme for the rest of the
sentences.
Here is an example:
A traditional collegiate system is only seen in a small number of universities in the
United Kingdom, with Durham University being an example. The traditional
collegiate system was an organisational feature of Durham since its inception in
1832. This approach creates a supportive network of colleges within which you
can create a network of friends. The system means that you may live with, and
socialise with other students who are not in your department of study, thereby
offering a wider potential social group. Such institutional organisation can result in
contacts who will later become useful in your professional lives, but may also be
personal friends. Therefore, your experience here as a member of one of
Durham’s colleges will be a unique and memorable part of your time studying
here.

Look at this colour coded version and see if you can recognise that the
theme of the first sentence becomes the theme for the rest of the sentences.
A traditional collegiate system is only seen in a small number of universities in the
United Kingdom, with Durham University being an example. The traditional
collegiate system was an organisational feature of Durham since its inception in
1832. This approach creates a supportive network of colleges within which you
can create a network of friends. The system means that you may live with, and
socialise with other students who are not in your department of study, thereby
offering a wider potential social group. Such institutional organisation can result in
contacts who will later become useful in your professional lives, but may also be
personal friends. Therefore, your experience here as a member of one of
Durham’s colleges will be a unique and memorable part of your time studying

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here.

3. The Commanding Comment

In its simplest form, it looks like this:

Theme Comment

Theme Comment

Theme Comment

The comment in the first sentence becomes the theme for the rest of the
sentences.
Here is an example:
Studying at Durham University should be an academically rewarding
experience for a number of reasons. The first reason is that as a world-class
institution, your teachers will be leading experts in their field of research.
Another source of challenge to keep you improving will be your peer students,
who represent some of the brightest and most promising scholars. Finally, your
thinking about your subject will be expanded through the traditional collegiate
system, which offers a unique way in which you can interact with students and
faculty members outside of your chosen field of study. As such, opportunities
for maximal intellectual development are continually provided for all Durham
University students.

Look at this colour coded version and see if you can recognise that the
comment in the first sentence becomes the theme for the rest of the
sentences.
Studying at Durham University should be an academically rewarding
experience for a number of reasons. The first reason is that as a world-class
institution, your teachers will be leading experts in their field of research.

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Another source of challenge to keep you improving will be your peer students,
who represent some of the brightest and most promising scholars. Finally, your
thinking about your subject will be expanded through the traditional collegiate
system, which offers a unique way in which you can interact with students and
faculty members outside of your chosen field of study. As such, opportunities
for maximal intellectual development are continually provided for all Durham
University students.

4. The Double Trouble

In its simplest form, it looks like this:

Theme Comment + Comment

Theme Comment

Theme Comment

The first sentence has two comments. Each of these become the theme for
later sentences in turn.
Here is an example:
Studying at Durham University should be an academically and socially rewarding
experience for many reasons. A high degree of academic challenge will be
provided by your teachers, who will be leading experts in their field of research. A
further source of intellectual motivation to keep you improving will come from your
peer students, who represent some of the brightest and most promising scholars.
Finally, enriching social interactions with your fellow students from across the
university are a feature of the traditional collegiate system seen at Durham. As
such, the programme of social and academic opportunities offered at Durham
provide exciting opportunities both inside and outside of the classroom.

Look at this colour coded version and see if you can recognise that the first

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sentence has two comments. Each of these become the theme for later
sentences in turn.
Studying at Durham University should be an academically and socially rewarding
experience for many reasons. A high degree of academic challenge will be
provided by your teachers, who will be leading experts in their field of research. A
further source of intellectual motivation to keep you improving will come from your
peer students, who represent some of the brightest and most promising scholars.
Finally, enriching social interactions with your fellow students from across the
university are a feature of the traditional collegiate system seen at Durham. As
such, the programme of social and academic opportunities offered at Durham
provide exciting opportunities both inside and outside of the classroom.

Task 10: Identifying and analysing theme and comment structures in paragraphs.

 There are four paragraphs below. For each one, complete these three steps:

1) Read the paragraph.

2) Highlight the theme, the main verb (or main verb phrase), and the comment for each
sentence within the paragraph. Use the colour code you have seen in this lesson to
help you.
3) Decide and make a note of which of the four theme and comment patterns we have
looked at in Task 9 best describes the structure.

Paragraph a)
One of the main reasons people accuse big brands of being ‘evil’ is because of the belief
that they exploit workers, especially those in developing countries. This is because wages
per hour are significantly cheaper and taxes and regulations are less stringent in
developing countries (Madeley, 1999). For example, Thai labourers’ wages are about 56
pence per hour, so instead of hiring high cost English labourers, companies hire cheaper
Thais (Madeley, 1999). In this way, given the often weak enforcement of wage and safety
laws in developing countries, “…the large corporations […] have used their power to
effectively cause hardship for millions of the poor in developing countries” (Madeley, 1999,
p. vii). Such accusations have been one of the primary factors that have led people to

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argue that big brands are ‘evil’.

Paragraph b)
Developing countries clearly see the advantages of local workers being employed by big
brands and often compete for contracts from multinational companies. Unemployment is
reduced and non-skilled work created by the presence of large corporations. This provides
opportunities for people with limited education and therefore contributes to the economy of
a developing country. Competition between developing countries to attract multinationals
can be seen in the proliferation of free-trade zones. While this policy does not necessarily
bring large amounts of tax revenue to the governments involved, it is nevertheless
pursued extensively in many parts of the developing world.

Paragraph c)
The concept of ‘glocalisation’, fast gaining currency, is an important one in this respect.
Glocalisation refers to the way in which global brands often take on a distinctly ‘local’
flavour and, rather than brands homogenizing culture, culture localizes brands (Craig and
Zeynap, 2004). The notion is a counterpoint to simplistic negative criticisms of
multinational companies, since, rather than destroying local culture, big brands can
become a part of it. This verifiably real phenomenon would appear to demonstrate that, far
from being ‘evil’, big brands can be part of a process of economic development.

Paragraph d)
There are three important examples demonstrating the ethically questionable role Britain
has played in globalisation. British Aerospace were present in the Indonesia under
Suharto, and so dominated the arms market that Britain became the dictatorship's biggest
arms supplier - at the height of the genocide in East Timor. Premier Oil were one of the
biggest foreign companies invested in by Burma, whose regime had probably the worst
human rights record on earth. Similarly, Unilever, ICI and many others hold dominant
positions in developing economies and have been accused of ethical compromises. The
Department for International Development provides a certain cover for this ‘free trade’ by
offering ‘aid-for-trade’; however, this is essentially little aid at all.

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Task 11: Peer work on Teams.

 Share your answers to Task 10 with your work group on Teams. Discuss each of the
paragraph structures and try to agree on a set of answers. Help each other if there are any
you find confusing. Don’t forget to post any questions that you have for your teacher.

You can check your answers to Task 10 at the end of this document

Task 12: Analysing your own writing.

 You will need your Long Essay. Re-read some of the main body paragraphs, and
consider the following questions:

a) Can you identify the theme and the comment in each of the sentences? Highlight
them with the colour code we have used in this lesson.
b) Are you able to confirm that the theme contains known information?
c) Does the comment contain new information?
d) Which of the four paragraph structures that you have seen in this lesson best
describes the paragraph?

Task 13: Improving your own writing.

 Choose one paragraph of your text from Task 12, and redraft it using the ideas you
have worked on in this lesson. Once you have done this:

a) Ensure the theme-comment connections are clear and easy for the reader to see by
highlighting the themes, main verbs (or main verb phrases), and comments.

b) Decide which paragraph structure has been used.

c) Be ready to share your paragraph and explain this information in the online session if
asked.

Task 14: Upload to DUO.

 Upload your completed paragraph (with the answers for Task 13) to DUO.

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Review:
What you’ve learned in this lesson

 Ways of creating more cohesive paragraphs.

 How to identify Theme and Comment, and the relationships between them.
 The four most common Theme and Comment paragraph structures.

Things you should have done in this lesson

 Worked through the Tasks and kept a record of your answers.

 Met on Teams to share and discuss your answers to the Tasks 1-7, & Task 10.
 Uploaded your answers for Task 14 to DUO.

Preparation for your online class time:

Your Online Class time for this session will be at 11:00 (UK Summer Time).

Before your class…

 Review the contents of this lesson and made notes of any questions and / or areas of
confusion.
 Prepare your answers to Task 13 for discussion if required.

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Answers:
Task 6
One of the main reasons people accuse big brands of being ‘evil’ is because
of the belief that they exploit workers, especially those in developing
countries. This is because wages per hour are significantly cheaper and
taxes and regulations are less stringent in developing countries (Madeley,
1999). For example, Thai labourers’ wages are about 56 pence per hour, so
instead of hiring high cost English labourers, companies hire cheaper Thais
(Madeley, 1999). In this way, given the often weak enforcement of wage and
safety laws in developing countries, “…the large corporations […] have used
their power to effectively cause hardship for millions of the poor in developing
countries” (Madeley, 1999, p. vii). Such accusations have been one of the
primary factors that have led people to argue that big brands are ‘evil’.

Task 10,
One of the main reasons people accuse big brands of being ‘evil’ is because
Paragraph
of the belief that they exploit workers, especially those in developing
a)
countries. This is because wages per hour are significantly cheaper and
taxes and regulations are less stringent in developing countries (Madeley,
1999). For example, Thai labourers’ wages are about 56 pence per hour, so
instead of hiring high cost English labourers, companies hire cheaper Thais
(Madeley, 1999). In this way, given the often weak enforcement of wage and
safety laws in developing countries, “…the large corporations […] have used
their power to effectively cause hardship for millions of the poor in
developing countries” (Madeley, 1999, p. vii). Such accusations have been
one of the primary factors that have led people to argue that big brands are
‘evil’.

This is the Relay Race because the comment of each sentence becomes
the theme for following sentence.
Task 10,
Developing countries clearly see the advantages of local workers being
Paragraph
employed by big brands and often compete for contracts from multinational
b)
companies. Unemployment is reduced and non-skilled work created by the
presence of large corporations. This provides opportunities for people with
limited education and therefore contributes to the economy of a developing
country. Competition between developing countries to attract multinationals
can be seen in the proliferation of free-trade zones. While this policy does
not necessarily bring large amounts of tax revenue to the governments
involved, it is nevertheless pursued extensively in many parts of the
developing world.

This is the Double-trouble because the first sentence has two

comments. Each of these become the theme for later sentences in turn.
Task 10,
The concept of ‘glocalisation’, fast gaining currency, is an important one in
Paragraph
this respect. Glocalisation refers to the way in which global brands often take
c)
on a distinctly ‘local’ flavour and, rather than brands homogenizing culture,
culture localizes brands (Craig and Zeynap, 2004). The notion is a
counterpoint to simplistic negative criticisms of multinational companies,

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since, rather than destroying local culture, big brands can become a part of
it. This verifiably real phenomenon would appear to demonstrate that, far
from being ‘evil’, big brands can be part of a process of economic
development.

This is the One-man Band because the theme of the first sentence is
the theme for the rest of the sentences.
Task 10,
There are three important examples demonstrating the ethically questionable
Paragraph
role Britain has played in globalisation. British Aerospace were present in the
d)
Indonesia under Suharto, and so dominated the arms market that Britain
became the dictatorship's biggest arms supplier - at the height of the
genocide in East Timor. Premier Oil were one of the biggest foreign
companies invested in by Burma, whose regime had probably the worst
human rights record on earth. Similarly, Unilever, ICI and many others hold
dominant positions in developing economies and have been accused of
ethical compromises. The Department for International Development
provides a certain cover for this ‘free trade’ by offering ‘aid-for-trade’;
however, this is essentially little aid at all.

This is the Commanding Comment because the comment of the first

sentence is the theme for the rest of the sentences.

END

Please make sure you tick the ‘Mark Reviewed’ box at the end of lesson ’30. Paragraph
Structure (2)’ on DUO to confirm you have finished the lesson. This will help us monitor your
attendance.

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