I rode a bus when i was a new cat in the U.S.

, got to where i was going and to the driver i said, "i want to
alight." This driver looked at me like i said "i want to set the bus on fire". "Light? what'chu mean?' she
asked suspiciously,

Mind u it was after sept. 11 so u can imagine the atmosphere in the whole country. All the foreigners were
potential suspects. "i want to alight, madam" said me, again in my perfect queen's language. "u mean u
want to get off the bus?" she asked impatiently. "yes..yes.." said me. "then say so. want to light, what the
heck is that." sister with an attitude said and flung the door open. i alighted...sorry, got off..damn, sounds
like jerking off...yeah, so i got off the bus. Therefore, english is different everywhere, lakini ya wakenya
imezidi.

woishe sinbad! pole sana. The other passengers must'av been wondering what the hell?

You mean ya wakenya ndio the best?

Whilst at home, I couldnt help but notice that my nephew is talking this engo of niniod and endaad...mind
he is only 7. So It made me wonder if he will ever mater THE language properly? Coz he is just learning
the language and this is already part of his vocabulary. We arent helping the situation by talking to them
or around them in this manner. It surely takes a great deal of discipline to draw the line, ati now kuna kids
around here, so no ninioing.

Home-Home- would be the one with the deeper connection or where your gf is used to you living(or
associates with your "real" home). If you just moved from your parents and had recently moved into a
place, your parents would be home-home. If you lived at your place longer and once in a while visit your
parents place, your "pad" would be home-home. But if your gf only knows your "pad" and did not know
you when you lived at your parents house, your "pad" would again be home-home. Confusing...huh? loool

When people call in reports to my work they always have where someone stays and where someone lives.
In this case the persons mail goes to where they "live," but they sleep somewhere else (that is where they
stay). This one can get so confusing

*******=paka
f.aggie=cigerratte

Please people when in the chatroom be creative,chat as if you interviewing for a job,be manered as your
first day at prison and you don't wanna raffle no fethers or entering form one and don't wanna be
monotized,be cool as cucumber and for god'ssake foam a sentence,don't just chat for chats sake....i know
this has nothing to do with the topic but just wanted it of my chest.

how bout kenyan spellings.... LOL!!!

i just saw 2 status updates on my facebook that have sent me ROTF

the 1st one goes something like ....

'Jane Samawati is from THREADING HA EYE BROWSE...yeah! THREADING! n shieeet im lukng mo than
hot'

LMAO @ browse!!!!!

'James Kahawa... mato tukasome nje hii lib iko na joto wekeni fun.,.'

instead of FAN!

lol... i dare not comment on fb lest niingiliwe ati nimekuwa mzungu! he he he

LMFAO

Another notorious one is C'MON how do u even spell that as COMMON?? just say 'come on' mara once

I find this irritating. For example,

ME: I was at the supermarket and noticed the price of unga's gone up

TYPICAL KENYAN REPLY: How?

How am I supposed to reply to that? Or,

ME: It looks like prices are about to go up.

TYPICAL KENYAN REPLY: And then? (Direct translation from 'Halafu?')

Grrrrrrr!!!!!!

"Played for second violin"

There has to be 'to' prepositions ,second its fiddle (violin) but cmon guys you cant know humor when you
see it? ill cut him some slack that he was playing with words.
He has a valid point.
Its a magazine after all not MSM.b

schedule 1, shee-dule is british english 2. Ske-dule is american english kenyans generally speak british
english i hate it when the news anchors in kenya say tok (talk) with an ephasis to the "o" very
annoying!

I generally speak different when speaking with Kenyans.

Some of my bad habits include gaigaigai, wawawa, yaani etc...

When speaking English please speak English!!! Here are a few that make me squint...
The team is comprised of - NO NO it's " The team comprises...

I am greatful --- I am grateful

The youths---The youth

The both of you---Both of you

Irregardless---yikes the word is regardless. People abuse this a lot at my workplace.

Seeking for ways---seeking ways

WHat is this nonsense of Kenyans whenever they introduce themselves?

'My names are Peter fulani wa fulani.'

My names are?

Haha jangos are more known for that...other common jango phrases (Note the vocabulary)

My nouns are Denis Onyango Owino.

I hail from Seme, Kombewa.

My digits are 0722456789.

My alma mater is Havard Law school.

Etc

...We don't have zed in our alphabet...

This is a lie. The English alphabet of which forms the american language is derived from Latin5 group of
languages and has the letter Z pronounced in various ways as "zed" or "zee".

... include gaigaigai, wawawa, yaani etc...

I tend to use these words alot and guys go bonkers...I usually tell them it is just an expression of suprise or
shock or emphasis. They wonder then why it goes on and on and on, like gaigaigaigaigai...

I know I know...its just that, mashada is full of newbies, I don't enjoy it as much as I did back then but this
thread caught my eye when I finally decided check out this joint...
You have started us with Kenyan English eh! It goes like this...

Mzungu-Mweusi: You both have been lost!

Chots&Mumgy: Tuko to, its you who is lost
M-M: Yeah, just got tired of Mashada with all this teenies
C&M: Same here, back then good storos bwana
M-M: Eh lakini mume lost! (why repeat this again?)
C&M: Haki ni wewe ndio ume lost (why did we have to repeat it again mumgy?)

...

After 10 minutes, we say our byes and tell each other not to be "too lost", ai the word lost again
appeared!

"Too Lost"
Now that is classic Kenyanism.
LMAO

1. Definately = definitely
2. Renumeration = Remuneration.

so true...and its obvious that my good friend mzungu-mweusi aka odiero marateng did not read the last
link I gave above, otherwise he would have been cautious with the 'too lost' ama he'z just proving that
he'z Kenyan and not a somali pirate.

sasa mzungu mweusi?

@mumgy, sasa? how u been? thought you'd come and help us kwa this thread Luo/english 101

@chotadipo, heee u are lost for real!

Hi all!
I've noticed people claiming to be English natives...... yaani,English being their first language,making some
grammatical errors.

an example being this:

At the end of a news bulletin,the news anchor says"good evening from myself and (insert a name here)"
is it grammatically correct to say this?

now, I remember my English teacher telling me to mention the other person first e.g. "Good evening from
Tom and I

How about learned friend Wetangula on TV the other day: we will recogonize the Migingo border
This one happened in District Court King County, WA in 1999. Don't ask my involvement.

Judge: Mizz Woh-chyra where were you at the time of accident?

Joy Wachira: I was in the kitchen with the bottle.

Judge: What were you doing?

Joy Wachira: Yes sir, removing the COCK = Cork in Kenya

*** laughter in the courtroom, Judge thinks she was jerking a guy, or whatever, it was hell. But sanity was
soon restored after a bit of gesturing unscrewing the COCK...LOL

Another crazy one.... I meet this young Kenyan colleague who introduces me to his sisters, one who is
apparently some hot shot professional.... then he tells me not to FREAK her. I am like, WTF??? Then he
goes, most guys FREAK HER because she is a lawyer or the sort????

Anyway took me years for a fellow mashadite to fill me in... freak... LOL

Shudda freaked her, sh**T man!

FREAK = Fear, shyness (Kenyan Dictionary)

lol @ removing the cok..

westerner: what do you do for a living?

Kenyan: am a nass!
westerner thinking ***she cant possibly mean that she is an áss***

Sorry, Oswago, nothing Kenyan on that one. In standard English, "freak" is a passive verb for "feel afraid".

The word has other meanings, and you are probably only familiar with those. I let you go the first time
you mentioned this because I thought, with Internet access, you would discover the truth sooner or later,
but hell, here we are: -

Freak
Adjective

* S: (adj) freaky (strange and somewhat frightening) "the whole experience was really freaky"
* S: (adj) bizarre, eccentric, freakish, freaky, flaky, flakey, gonzo, off-the-wall, outlandish, outre
(conspicuously or grossly unconventional or unusual) "restaurants of bizarre design--one like a hat,
another like a rabbit"; "famed for his eccentric spelling"; "a freakish combination of styles"; "his off-the-
wall antics"; "the outlandish clothes of teenagers"; "outre and affected stage antics"
meaning 1. scary
meaning 2. strange

[NB: Princeton is not a Kenyan university]

Other meanings found online:

Quote:

# a person or animal that is markedly unusual or deformed

# freak out: lose one's nerve; "When he saw the accident, he freaked out"
# addict: someone who is so ardently devoted to something that it resembles an addiction; "a golf
addict"; "a car nut"; "a bodybuilding freak"; "a news junkie"
#freaky - strange and somewhat frightening; "the whole experience was really freaky"
I hope this puts this matter to rest. Kenyans do speak embarrassingly good English, you know. Don't let
our Sheng (u call it pidgin) excursions fool you. Even some Sheng is rooted in complex English.

You can also check thesaurus.com and dictionary.com.

I hope this doesn't freak you out!! And, as you friend said, do not freak his "learned" sister out. Otherwise
you might find yourself in a deep funk (go check that one, almost a synonym for freak!)
__________________

FREAK is western urban not Kenyan, dude.

n. freak means unusual, odd, bizarre, consequently to freak out (v.) means to lose your "normal" usual self
and go crazy, either due to extreme fear, anger or excitement.

adj. one who is panicked, scared ****less, crazed, psycho, stoned, psyched, fired up.

Freak" is not originally urban; it is from standard English.

True, it has been appropriated by the "urban" -- oh, gdmn, the akataa Ebonic crowd and given more
usage and inflexions than is normal, but the root meaning is the same.

Variations such as "freak out" or "freaky" may be urbanised versions of a standard word. In this sense, very
often, Akataas are referring to "sexy" or "sexually arousing", "erotic" or in verb form, "to have sex", eg
Adina Howard "Freak Like Me": -

Quote:

let me lay it on the line

i got a little freakiness inside
and you know that the man
has got to deal with it
 i don't care what they say
i'm not about to pay nobody's way
cuz it's all about the dog in me
mm-hmmm

chorus:
i want to freak in the morning
a freak in the evening just like me
i need a roughneck nigga
that can satisfy me just for me
if you are the kind of man
cuz i'm that kind of girl
i got a freaky secret, everybody sing
cuz we don't give a damn about a thing
cuz i will be a freak
until the day until the dawn
and we can pump, pump
all through the day to the early morn
come on and i will take you
around the hood on a gangsta lean
cuz we can pump, pump
any time of day it's all good for me
Lol... She could've also meant a rooster in Kenya. Anyway, here are other confusing Kenya/American
English:

 Cock=rooster
 Veranda=hallway
 nappies=diapers
 torch=flashlight
 boot=trunk
 bonnet=hood
 spanner=wrench
 lorry=tractor-trailer/truck

the list goes on...

Verandah = Porch
Corridor (sp) = hallway
Chips= French fries
Crisps=Chips
Loo=Restroom
Flat=Apartment

biscuit=cookies
maize=corn
pronouncing that is also a problem.

Correct pronounciation:- Bis-kits

My pronounciation:- Bis-quits.

"pronounciation"??? "pronunciation!!!"

Repeat again is bad English.

To repeat means to say/do again.

Therefore, repeat is enough.

Teachers during the morning parade in school used to say something like 'I repeat for the third time....'

The one that irritates me most is during the planning for a wedding/harambee e.t.c.

If you have more than one master of ceremony for the occasion, it kills me when someone says 'have we
made any transport(ation) arrangement for the master of ceremonies?

kwani how many ceremonies are there?

Isn't it just one-the wedding or the harambee?

Why did I start my sentence with 'kwani' yet it is in English?

May be it is because I am Kenyan after all..

To take a small detour... Kenyan newspapers use a writing style that is correct but very 1920s -old
(examples...) 1. Kenya has something to celebrate despite her many problems - yes a country is correctly
female, but this writing style is a bit outmoded! 2. Rowdy youths set car on fire - how about rowdy mob
set car on fire... Who are youths anyway? 3. Youth not god fearing!!! - which is it, the king james
version??... God fearing..lol 4. His excellency the president - africans and titles?? what the hell is "his
excellency" 5. A fortnight ago - well 2 weeks ago will suffice, unless you are writing the original sherlock
novel in 1880. 6. "please find attached", "kindly find attached for your perusal- these are outdated
expressions in modern business writing - "perusal" ???? and then there is this guy who hosts the zain
africa challenge show... This guy talks like an english aristocrat from the victorian era... I am sure the queen
would be impressed.... "math, geography, physics, and others besides" ...thats good!!!

My american friends laugh at me when I say/ask"may I go/can I go to the washroom meaning

-toliet/bathroom/restroom.It irritates me coz I know am being polite!! Is it???
 Originally Posted by Jonny_Swaggs
To take a small detour... Kenyan newspapers use a writing style that is correct but very 1920s -old
(examples...)
My biggest beef with Kenyan journalism comes from sentences like this:

"Five herdsmen were shot by cattle rustlers and their livestock stolen...."

"Three hawkers were beaten by police and their wares confiscated..."

I am not sure whether I am right but I think there has been a change of tense mid-sentence. Shouldn't it
be:

"Five herdsmen were shot by cattle rustlers and their livestock was stolen...."

"Three hawkers were beaten by police and their wares were confiscated..."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny_Swaggs

2. Rowdy youths set car on fire - how about rowdy mob set car on fire... Who are youths anyway?
In Kenya, a 60 year old man can be a youth. Remember when Richard Leakey got whipped by KANU
"youth"? One guy was an old mzee!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny_Swaggs

6. "please find attached", "kindly find attached for your perusal- these are outdated expressions in modern
business writing - "perusal" ????
Aaaah, office lingo! I have given in, I surrendered long time ago, yu can't fight them, join them: -

"As per our telecon today morning..."

That "as per" makes me feel as if I have swine flu already!!!!

"With reference to the meeting today in your office at 1400 hrs..."

Shucks!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny_Swaggs

and then there is this guy who hosts the zain africa challenge show... This guy talks like an english
aristocrat from the victorian era... I am sure the queen would be impressed.... "math, geography, physics,
and others besides" ...thats good!!!
Between John Sibi-Okumu and lawyer Fred Ojiambo, I think we can find a good private tutor for English
family royal children!!

Personally, I think Kenyan English is good. The only problem is the accent. I find it really hard to
understand Kenyan accent but when one speak flowing Swahili, I get mesmerised completely lost for
words! I think Kenyans should just stick to Swahili, it's a beautiful language and a lot of countries envy
speaking Swahili.

Swahili teachers are sought all over Europe. Since Prince William declared publicly he is learning Swahili 4
years ago, the number of British people seeking to learn Swahili shoot up considerably.

I think there was a time he was rumoured to be into some Kenyan jungu called Jecca Craig ,,,, KC from RV..