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Parenting Styles Interview Essay

Tyler Khamis

Department of Psychology, Sinclair Community College

PSY 2200

Brandon Jablonski

February 21, 2021

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Abstract

In this essay I will be discussing the information I have discovered by interviewing my neighbor

who is currently raising an 11 year old boy named Owen. I wanted to classify the parenting style

my neighbors had as one of the four categories in the lesson, and I wanted to gain a new

perspective about parenting from someone who I had almost no contact with. My neighbor is the

dad in the family and his name is Steven. Owen lives with both his mom and dad in the same

household, and they are both his biological parents. After conducting the interview, I concluded

that Steven was a good father to his son, and that he employed the Authoritative parenting style

most of the time, with a bit of a passive style mixed in. I think that his parenting style had a good

impact on the way his son has turned out so far.

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Parenting Styles Interview Essay

Writing this paper and conducting the interview gave me a new perspective about why

parents choose to make certain decisions about how to raise their children. This paper will

describe the parenting style used by my neighbor Steven to raise his 11 year old son Owen based

on the interview that was conducted. I believe that Steven uses a mix of two of the four parenting

styles mentioned in the lesson. The bigger of these two styles that I observed is authoritative

because he exhibits almost all of the tendencies of a parent in that category such as letting the

child inquire about rules and being attentive to the child. I also recognized some tendencies

described in the permissive category because he generally tries to be less strict on his child than

most parents, and Owen seems to exhibit some of the personality traits of someone who is being

raised in that kind of environment.

First of all, I would like to summarize some of the questions and responses from the

interview. My neighbor Steven is raising his 11 year old son, Owen in a household where both

the mother and father are there and attentive to the needs of that child. When asked about what

rules were put in place and enforced on his son, he listed the following expectations: get up on

time for school and get ready. Not being allowed to go to someone’s house without talking to
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dad first and me knowing where it is. Going to bed at 10 pm if there is school the next day. Must

participate in a sport. Doing the best he can in school. Take care of chores like cleaning and lawn

work when asked to (Steven). He described his parenting style as less strict than many other

parents because a lot of kids have a lot more chores to do, and more of a set schedule. He also

said he was easier because punishment is not the best deterrent in his experience and personal

opinion when it comes to his child. Steven believed that Owen was smart for asking questions

about the rules and that he engaged in many conversations with his son about the rules that are in

place. He asserts that letting his son express his feelings about the rules makes his son comply

with them more and not feel as held down by them because of the understanding they share.

Continuing with the interview, I asked some more questions about negotiation and

discipline in the household. Steven stated that he was pretty flexible about negotiating with rules

put in place, and that sometimes he was a bit too lenient when it came to this. He made it clear

when asked about what he wishes he did better as a parent that he wants to be more consistent

about the rules he and his wife put in place. Even though he feels that punishment is not usually

the answer to making a child listen, he also understands that being too lenient and swayed by

emotion creates a lower level of respect for the rules that are put in place. He told me that the

main form of discipline that he and his wife enforce is to just take something of value away from

Owen for a set amount of time. Steven made it clear that he would never withhold love and

attention from his child as a punishment, and that the things that are taken away consist of: video

games, internet access, and spending time with friends. He also mentioned that he sometimes

makes Owen do extra chores as a punishment for disobeying. He admitted that he didn’t believe

that these kinds of punishments worked as well as he would have hoped because according to

him, Owen is very strong willed and will stop at almost nothing to do the things that he wants to
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do. The biggest issue when it came to discipline for him was Owen’s tendency towards being

disrespectful to teachers and people in general that bother him. Owen also sometimes has an

issue with retaliating towards peers that treat him unkindly.

Near the end of the interview I asked a few more questions discussing level of affection

and maturity, as well as future predictions and things that were impactful to his style of

parenting. When asked about how affectionate he was towards his son, he made it clear that he

was “very affectionate” and that he never hesitates to show his child love. He believed that Owen

was above average when it came to maturity for his age, and he expects this. Steven was unsure

about what the future holds for Owen. He said that some days he feels like Owen is going to turn

out perfect, while other days he gets worried about it. He mainly keeps the mindset that he wants

to wait until things happen before he comes to conclusions about them. Finally, Steven said the

worry of whether or not he was doing the right thing when it came to raising Owen was

something of great impact on his parenting style. He believes that him expressing love and

acceptance towards his child will in turn create that in his son too; this idea is one that he is not

always one-hundred percent sure about though.

Throughout this interview I noticed many aspects of the parenting styles mentioned in the

lesson. I would say that Steven would fall under the authoritative parenting category most of the

time. Owen has rules put in place that he is both aware of, and clearly allowed to inquire about.

Steven expresses affection in a big way, and makes sure that open communication is something

that Owen feels comfortable doing. On parentingscience.com, Ph.D Gwen Dewar describes the

authoritative parenting style: “Parents use positive reinforcement and reasoning to guide

children. They avoid resorting to threats or punishments.” (Dewar 1). Steven often rewards his
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son for his accomplishments and never hesitates to give a pat on the back for hard work. Steven

also tries to stay away from harsh punishments that will make his son more hesitant to be honest.

Steven wants Owen to learn that his actions have consequences, instead of teaching him that his

parents are mean when he is honest with them.

I also observed a few traits of the permissive parenting style in Steven and in Owen as

well. Steven admitted that he is too lenient with the rules and punishments that he gives to his

son, and that sometimes he notices the consequences of this. When discussing the biggest

disciplinary challenges that he has experienced raising Owen, he mentioned a lack of self control

when it came to responding to negativity from other children. One of the sources I looked at

mentioned that “Because there are few rules, expectations, and demands, children raised by

permissive parents tend to struggle with self-regulation and self-control.” (Cherry 1) when

discussing the permissive style of parenting. Putting two and two together, it became clear to me

that some of the parental struggles Steven was experiencing were due to this lack of consistency

when it came to punishment and rules. Steven seems to be very sensitive to the emotions of his

son, which in turn makes it a whole lot harder to enforce rules when Owen becomes sad about

the consequences.

Looking back at the interview and observations I made when I conducted it, I feel as

though the style of parenting chosen by Steven has worked pretty well for the most part. He does

almost everything that a good parent should do for their child, and he makes sure that Owen is on

the right track as much as he can. He encourages Owen when he does something right, and he

tries to educate Owen about the consequences of his actions. Steven isn’t perfect when it comes

to enforcing rules and making Owen respect those rules, but he tries his best, and no one is
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perfect. I can see that Owen is doing well in school, and most things outside of school as well, so

I think it is safe to conclude that the parenting style employed by Steven is doing what it’s

supposed to almost all the time. Yes, there are a few things that need to be worked on, but Steven

is aware of these things and is always aiming for improvement.

In conclusion, I observed that Steven mainly uses authoritative parenting when it comes

to raising his son. He has some tendencies of a permissive parent, but overall he has made a good

impact on his child. The most important thing for me was that he was actively trying to do the

best he could being a father. That’s all that anyone can really ask from a parent; that they try the

best they can to raise their child in a way to promote a long and healthy life. Steven is not the

perfect parent who does everything right all the time, but at the end of the day no parent is. I

learned a lot from this interview and I am glad that I learned some new things about the way a

dad looks at parenting as a whole.

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References

Cherry, K. (2019, August 15). ​Are You a Permissive Parent?​ Verywell Mind.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-permissive-parenting-2794957#:~:text=Per

missive%20parenting%20is%20a%20type,friend%20than%20a%20parental%20fig

ure.

Dewar, G. ​The authoritative parenting style​.

https://www.parentingscience.com/authoritative-parenting-style.html#:~:text=What

%20is%20authoritative%20parenting%3F,resorting%20to%20threats%20or%20pu

nishments.