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April 22, 2021

Reflection on Myself as a Communicator

As a college student about to graduate and preparing to transition to university, I wanted

to take a baseline communication course to prepare me for the essential skills I would need in the
future. I like to believe that I am a well rounded person, yet my people skills aren’t the best. By
taking this class I hoped to expand upon essential communication skills that many of us have
already developed, but I also wanted to explore the basics of communication as well. I’ve
already taken some classes where communicating is an important skill, but it was never the focus
or main factor. I had that in mind when I started this class and as the semester draws to a close, I
am glad that I have taken this class because I’ve both enhanced some of the skills that I learned
in previous classes while developing some new ones. My favorite thing we learned about is
verbal messages, more specifically message design logics. I also think it’s interesting that there
are three types (Expressive, Conventional, Rhetorical) and these types have their own ways of
communicating in a situation. After learning this, it’s actually helped me become more aware of
how others communicate in certain situations and how I can adapt/react accordingly. Knowing
more about communication has effectively changed the way I engage with others in my life and
now that I am moving up in the world, I hope to continue developing as a communicator.

Initial Reflection Paper Assignments

Perception & Self

A positive label that I heard many times in my life is “Helpful.” I am often eager to lend a
hand, or prepared to step up and get my hands dirty if need be. It’s a beneficial skill that has
introduced me to many interesting people, but it has its drawbacks. Being too “helpful” can be
socially draining, or people expect you to constantly want to help them when you simply don't. It
can make interacting with them difficult, but that’s where establishing healthy boundaries (and
maintaining said boundaries) comes into play.

A negative label that I live with is “Fat” or as many sugar-coat it, “Overweight.” I have
always been a big individual and struggled with my weight. As a child, it bothered me because I
wasn’t like many of the other kids my age. I struggled to connect with others because no one
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wanted to be friends with the fat person and that continued into my adolescence. While I don’t
hate myself for being fat (my weight is due to a health condition and I’m doing my best to work
on it), the biggest issue I’ve faced is talking to others about my issues and not being taken
seriously since I’m fat. It’s hard to convince doctors that I am in fact eating healthy and
exercising when I don’t look the part.

When it comes to the ethical responsibility of labels, especially giving and using them
around others, I believe there is a bit of a grey area to this. While it isn’t fair to judge others
based on the labels you assign to them, some of us may unintentionally create labels in our heads
even if we don’t intend to. An example of this is Stereotypes. In our textbook, The
Communication Age, they define it as: “generalizations made to an entire group of people or
situations on the basis of the observed traits of one or a few members of the group.” Many are
quick to stereotype, but I believe that the ethical responsibility lies in our ability to recognize
when we are doing so and addressing our own personal biases with these stereotypes. By doing
this, we recognize our stigmas while dismantling others. It creates a better atmosphere for
communication, allowing for better accommodation and understanding of others. An example of
this being the negative label I live with. I am fat and met someone who stereotyped me as
someone who doesn’t eat healthy, but once they got to know me they were shocked. We’ve
become friends and they’ve learned a lot about plus sized or “overweight” individual’s.

Works Cited
Edwards, A., Edwards, E., Wahl, S., Myers, S.A. (2016). The Communication Age: Connecting
and Engaging. 2nd ed. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publishing, Inc.
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Verbal Communication

When it comes to verbal messages, the course concept that’s helped me improve is the
use of message design logics. I had never thought of the distinct ways we communicate in certain
situations, especially in the ways we choose to communicate in certain circumstances, so reading
more about the theory helped me open my eyes about what can and can’t be accomplished in a
conversation.

There are three different types that carry their own weight: Expressive, Conventional, and
Rhetorical.While I think there can be an appropriate time for each of these (even if it doesn’t
seem like it in certain circumstances), the two that I think could be the most beneficial in my
own life is the Conventional type. According to the book, conventional communicators tend to
“draw the line between what they think and what they say in order to achieve their social goals.”

There are many times I’ve found myself stuck in a situation I could’ve easily gotten
myself out of if I would’ve drawn the line and made a personal compromise to spare myself of
the situation. An example being an outing with an ex friend, her boyfriend, and some friends.
Her boyfriend crossed personal boundaries of mine, making me uncomfortable. Speaking to her
about it caused a fight that ultimately ruined our friendship. While we have both moved on and
have made amends, I will admit I should’ve drawn the line at some point to make the boyfriend
aware of his actions. I can’t go back and change that, but with this new knowledge, I can utilize
this type of message design logic in order to be a more effective communicator.

Works Cited
Edwards, A., Edwards, E., Wahl, S., Myers, S.A. (2016). The Communication Age: Connecting
and Engaging. 2nd ed. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publishing, Inc.
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Listening

As a naturally caring and empathic person, I do tend to have some great skills as an
effective listener-- I have my drawbacks as well. The most common type of listening that I
succeed in is the discriminative type, which depends on sounds and voice rather than words to
create meaning. I am good at this type of listening because oftentimes I can pick up on emotions,
feelings, or thoughts that others may be masking. However, this is also a drawback because I
don't always pick up on the words people say or care about them enough because I will base my
thoughts on the conversation based on sounds/tone/emotions that I pick up. This isn't compatible
with everyone, and I've learned that through experiences with individuals who value spoken
words over emotions.

Because of the disconnect that can occur, I've been working on improving certain aspects
of my comprehensive learning skills. When I am with my brother, I've noticed that when we talk
he values speaking to me over emotions sometimes. Most of the time I would only focus on the
tone of his voice to assign meaning to it, but now when we speak I have to actively stop myself
and listen to what he is saying, because it usually means more than his tone/body language
anyway. This is starting to help me understand him on a deeper level rather than just assuming I
know everything about him because he's my brother. I guess that we learn from the people we
least suspect too, and for me that’s my autistic brother.

Works Cited
Edwards, A., Edwards, E., Wahl, S., Myers, S.A. (2016). The Communication Age: Connecting
and Engaging. 2nd ed. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publishing, Inc.
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Nonverbal Communication

While non-verbal communication isn’t something that is actively spoken about in most
social circles, it is something I actually pay a lot of attention too. As a sibling of an autistic
brother who has difficulty with many aspects of verbal communication, I’ve actively developed
many nonverbal behaviors as a way to help communicate with him, other autistics, and many
others who rely on these kinds of behaviors. Many times I have to repeat myself, accent what I
say with certain movements (an example of this is telling my brother to stop before crossing the
street and gesturing to do so). I tend to Gesture, or talk with my hands when explaining things.
Emblems too. I’m an illustrator as well, and will substitute verbal messages for physical gestures
or non-verbal communication. I do this because many of the non-verbal people I’ve been around
can’t or struggle to verbalize what they want to communicate, and sometimes non-verbal
gestures are an easier form of communication.

A form of non-verbal communication I struggle with are Vocalics. I tend to be direct with my
words, and sometimes my tone, voice, volume and rate of speech can make me seem either
extremely impassioned, urgent, or even angry sometimes. It’s not my intent at all, but I can get
so engrossed or excited over my words that I forget to regulate these cues. It is something I am
actively working on because I want to enjoy conversations without being overbearing or
off-putting. Some ways I am doing this is I will actively pay attention to social cues, more
specifically Kinesics. Everyone has their own posture, stance, and movement’s that can be
impacted by their mood or emotions. By paying attention to these, and by actively being aware
of my own struggle with Vocalics, I can work on improving these forms of verbal
communication.

Works Cited
Edwards, A., Edwards, E., Wahl, S., Myers, S.A. (2016). The Communication Age: Connecting
and Engaging. 2nd ed. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publishing, Inc.